Requested Reviews #2: Superhero Edition

Hello, Spongey here.

It’s time for another round of Requested Reviews. This time we’re honoring Superhero Month! Yep, it’s not often I do other things for a theme month but here we are.

I made a call on Twitter to ask for some Superhero Movies I could do for another Requested Reviews batch and I got 4 solid suggestions. Technically 5 cuz there’s another double feature but we’ll get to that.

So what did I get asked to look at , and how are they? Let’s find out.

This, is Requested Reviews #2: Superhero Edition!

Superman (1978):

We start with a request from old friend Norty and we’re going way back with this one. I wasn’t expecting a big one to be requested but here we are. I really should have seen it sooner but better late than never.

Due to it’s nature of being an earlier big budget Superhero movie, I wasn’t sure how much I’d dig it but I ended up really liking it. It does have a few problems that sadly prevent it from being among my all time favorites though.

For one, it does run a bit long which I know I always says when a movie is 2 hours but this one does sometimes drag a bit, especially around the middle and maybe a tad in some sections both early and later on.

Not too much but at least a bit. There were also some chances for more story but that really wasn’t their concern here so that’s fine. Oh and yeah, the ending is a huge cop out.

I think that alone is a big mark since there’s no reason they needed to pull that. Otherwise, this one is really enjoyable. It’s got that old school charm that I have a soft spot and it really fits Superman.

Speaking of, they do a great job with him as does have his struggles that help us connect with him, as well as making him a hero to look up. They manage to do that without making things super complicated.

Lex Luther is also really good, being goofy in a charming way. The story isn’t complex but it works, especially in the first half as they build up our hero becoming Superman.

Yeah, Superhero movies getting a bit less interesting in the 2nd half is not a new thing but the rest is still good. Especially with awesome classic score.

Overall,despite some problems and dated effects, this still seems to hold up pretty well. It’s very likable with some pretty solid build up, and it the direction is strong with how it gives weight to everything going on.

It’s a classic for a reason and if you’re like me and hadn’t seen it, I’d say give it a shot. It’s pretty super.

I’m not sorry.

Rating: Very Good

Ultimate Avengers/Ultimate Avengers 2: Rise of the Panther (2006):

Here’s a double feature request from k_narrow. You all likely know of those direct to video DC Movies but less people know that Marvel tried the same thing for awhile before eventually just giving up since they weren’t as good .

So yeah, there’s one thing DC is better at. I hadn’t seen any of the Marvel ones until now where we have their first entry and it’s sequel…that came out the same year. Huh.

Anyway, the first one is pretty basic: Some threat appears so Nick Fury gathers a team to stop it. Being only an hour and 7 minute version, it’s a simple version of this kind of story and for the most part it does it okay.

Just don’t expect anything more complicated than what I just told you. There is some character stuff, and think most of it works fine. The balancing is off like you may expect though.

Cap gets fleshed out pretty decently (there’s a solid scene where he sees what eh lost after waking up) but then you have people like Thor and Black Widow who are just kinda there.

There’s also Hank Pym who I know is meant o be a jerk but he’s too much of an asshole for me to really care about, especially since we already have a more likable jerk with Iron Man.

There’s some decently fun action scenes and as I said, some character stuff works alright. I wish it was longer so they could flesh it out more but it’s not a bad start.

As for the 2nd one, it’s true to the title as it introduces Black Panther whose father is killed and so the Avengers head to Wakanda to take care of the bad guy who did it.

I think it’s an improvement over the first one. It is held by the same issues as before with some characters not being fleshed out, especially poor Thor. I feel some people are just there because they had to be.

Hank Pym is also still unlikable although they at least try to fix that this time, although his arc would have worked better if he was more charming. Still, there is some good character stuff here as well as some fun action.

Black Panther is also well done, I kind of wish they just did a Black Panther movie rather than making it an Avengers one but eh, he still works fine here. It’s an enjoyable enough movie even if it’s nothing crazy special.

The animation for both is actually mostly pretty good, but it does have that Direct to Video quality to it with how the characters are drawn. Also, bad CGI in places.

Overall, there would later be better versions of these characters in both animation and live action but for the time,these movies are okay. They aren’t too bad of an introduction for newcomers and are mostly enjoyable.

But they can be light weight in terms of story and development and that does prevent them from being anything above decent. But they are okay time wasters for what they are. It’s more or less what I expected.

Oh and the voice actors are decent, although even ignoring the ones actors I’m more used to they aren’t amazing choices or anything. They’re fine though, much like both movies.

Rating: Decent

Kickass (2010):

Well, this is a mood whiplash compared to our first two. Requested by johntheguy242, this one had a ton of hype back when it came out but it seems like they died down sometime after the sequel came out.

Not sure why, guess it was just another flavor of the month kind of thing. I had seen Matthew Vauhn’s own Kingsman films and enjoyed them so I hoped this would be as good as those and yeah, it was .

At the start I was worried it’d try too hard to be ?”Edgy” but that thankfully died down once the plot kicked in. Besides that, my main issue also involves the thing I liked the most.

To the surprise of no one, I thought Hit Girl and Nicolas Cage stole the show. Besides being awesome, they were genuinely interesting and likable characters.

This easily could have been just a gimmick but they made them pretty likable with their cute interactions, which made for a good contrast to rather…violent nature of everything going on.

But they do such a good job o fleshing them out that Kickass himself gets lost in the shuffle. I do like him and his story fine, it’s just tad bit vanilla when you compare it to both the Hit Girl stuff and even the villains.

He’s still a good lead with a decent story of how becomes this Superhero, it’s still just simply good compared to everything else being pretty good. My only other problem would be the ending fatigue which is another minor thing.

Otherwise, it works. The action is of course super violence in an enjoyable way, and the direction is tight without going overboard. The acting is also good, although I’d say those two show stealers are the only huge standouts.

It thankfully manages to have something under the surface instead of just being super “Edgy” like it easily could have been. That stuff is a lot of fun and handled decently, but that’s not all it is, even if it is the main draw.

It may pull off one story element almost too well, but it’s still pretty fun with some likable characters and of course solid violence action. If it’s your thing, give it a look.

Rating: Good

DC Superhero Girls: Intergalactic Games (2017):

And speaking of mood whiplash, we end on something for kids! JimB_85 requested this one and I was a bit interesting.
This franchise is basically DC Animated attempt at making something for young girls so thus it could have easily been horrible and I bet some irrationally hate due to not being for them.

I know there’s a web series alongside the two main movies and I will say that this did feel like what like a longer version of a half hour TV Episode. But honestly, even with it, I still kinda liked it.

I mean, it’s dumb to be hard on something clearly aimed at a young audience but I do think it’s of a decent enough quality all things considered.

The story is a basic School Competition plot so that can make predictable but they do leave room for some substance like the Blackfire subplot and a few nice moments. Nothing deep but at least they actually tried.

Most of the characters are portrayed well, and the voice acting is good even if it’s a who’s who of people who are in everything I watch. Seriously, the only person it’s missing is Kate Miccuci.

The animation is clearly a bit limited, being flash, but it’s a least visually appealing and is mostly decent. As a whole, it’s a reasonably enjoyable with some nice moments and decent action bits.

It’s one of those for kids that adult won’t want to go out of their way to see but if they do end up watching, I think they’ll get a tiny but more than expected, even if they won’t wanna watch it again.

I don’t exactly feel the need to watch more of this franchise but this one movie was good for what it was, and at least provided decent entertainment for me, even if I’m not going to remember it a ton in like a week.

But sometimes that’s what you need, especially out of something like this. So yeah, if you got kids, go ahead and maybe you’ll enjoy some of it too if you’re up for it.

(Sidenote #1`: Wasn’t expecting to have 3 of the 4 Teen Titans here, complete with their VA’s. Insert joke about you know what here)

(Sidenote #2: Yes, it is weird that Harely Quinn is a good girl but at least she kinda acts like herself)

(Sidenote #:3: I think the only reason Lena is Lex Luthor’s sister rather than daughter is that they didn’t want to basically create DC-endants)

Rating: Good

Feels weird to rate it higher than Ultimate Avengers but there you go.

And that was Requested Reviews round 2. A more solid bunch this time with all being at least okay and one mostly really good one. Even the weakest was fairly watchable.

This was fun, I’ll do more themed ones like this at some point. In the meantime, send me more requests if you wish, I’m always taking them as you can see. And so yeah, that’s all I got for today.

See ya

Ranking the Animated Films of 2001

Hello, Spongey here.

It’s time to start really diving into the animated films of each year since 2000. Now we have 2001, which is rather important.

Mostly because it was the year where The Academy created the category for Best Animated Feature. Granted, they only had 3 which were made up of two obvious ones and…Jimmy Neutron.

Still, it was pretty important. From this point on, I’ll mention how that category fared as well as how the movies did elsewhere like the Annies. Speaking of which, Shrek predictably swept those as well.

I’ll say more for years with more to say and more info is on Wikipedia and such. Anyway, 2001 was a stepping stone in shaping animation for the decade, for better or worse.

How did the year fare for me, though? Let’s take a peek and see what the gems and turds were.

This, is Ranking the Animated Films of 2001

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Barbie in The Nutcracker: Ah yes, this year started the Barbie series. I reviewed this entry for that month of reviews I did for it and spoilers, it’s blah but then again, what did I expect for something aired at like 5 year olds?

The Happy Cricket: I wouldn’t have even heard of this one if not for Mr Coat calling it the worst animated film of all time. Someday I’ll test that but I wasn’t interested in wasting my time with it.

Osmosis Jones: This one is debatable, being a live action hybrid but it has enough animation that I decided to throw it in. Even though a certain movie did the concept better later on, I actually kinda like this movie. Yeah, the live action parts are pretty sloppy sometimes but there’s enough amusing moments, creativity and great animation to make it at least half decent for me.

Scooby Doo and the Cyber Chase: I haven’t seen this one in ages but I do remember really liking it so that’s why I mention it here.

Now onto the ranking

MEH:

Trumpet of the Swan:

You’ve likely never heard of this one, and there’s a good reason for that. Brought to us by Crest/Richard Rich (the makers of a certain other Swan movie), this was randomly dumped into theaters and was quickly eaten up. Mostly because a certain ogre came out just a week later.

I hadn’t heard of it until Cartoon Hero did it ages ago and after watching it, I see why it was buried. It’s not THAT bad, but I wish it was as it’s very meh. It’s a typical story, with a Trumpet Swan that can’t talk, much less trumpet.

He faces a bland love interest and a bland bully that wants her as well. It’s not the worst told story, but it’s been done before and here it’s not done well enough to make up for it.

The characters aren’t too special either, as they are mostly dull with the Father being kinda annoying and even a bit careless at the start. The animation is decent in terms of design and such, but it can be a tad sloppy when they want to be more ambitious, like with the minor CGI and the slapstick.

It does try to have some heart at times, and the only thing that comes close to being offensive is how this mute character has an inner monologist. Yes, really. Kind of makes the whole mute thing pointless, eh?

Overall, it’s not as dull as something like American Rabbit but it’s mostly a generic story that I was mostly bored by. Plus, it’s really short so it hardly felt like a movie anyway.

Also, it has songs. Moving on.

That’s all I got. It’s nothing terrible but it being unambitious and dull makes it my least favorite animated film of this year, fairly easily.

AVERAGE:

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within:

Right up front I have to say that I know nothing about this franchise, so I won’t be judging it on that level. But I can say this does feel like a video game movie.

Because it’s pretty much a bunch of cut scenes to a game you’re not allowed to play. Yeah, it’s one of those video game movies. I will say it’s one of the “Better” ones as it’s mostly just kinda eh rather than a dumpster fire.

I’ll give credit where it’s due: This film is in the least ambitious, with photo realistic animation and some nice moments here and there. The voice acting is strong (thanks to people such as Ming Na and Steve Buscemi) as well.

But sadly, this one mostly bored me. For one, while the animation surely was amazing for the time, it hasn’t aged the best as it just looks like a video game now. Sometimes it holds up, but usually I just keep thinking I was watching a video game.

Games didn’t look this in 2001 so as I said, it must have been great at the time, not so much now. And it’s safe to say this movie is style over substance.

Some scenes have it but most of the time it’s boring, with characters I don’t care about just doing things I’m not invested in. It tries at times, but I mostly just sat there.

It SHOULD be really engaging but it just wasn’t, sadly. I wouldn’t say it does anything too wrong, besides a few plot holes here and there, it just wasn’t that interesting to me most of the time.

It had mixed reactions so I suppose some people got into, but I couldn’t. Still, it is ambitious and has a lot going for it, so it’s not a bad movie by any means, just a middling one.

Sadly, by Video Game Movie Standards, Middling may as well be amazing. (Hell, it’s the highest rated major ones on Rotten Tomatoes).,

I wish I had more to say but I don’t. I didn’t care about the story or flat characters despite it’s best efforts. It’s got pretty for the time visuals, and some solid voice acting and music but personally I feel like I’d be more engaged in whatever video game is hot right now.

It’s one of the better video game movies, but that’s not saying too much as I mostly found it average.

Waking Life:

You’ve likely never heard of this one, and I was in the same boat until I had to do this this project. It’s a Rotoscoped film by Richard Linklater and when it comes to those, most are more familiar with A Scanner Darkly.

I was looking forward to this one, since I love seeing director driven adult animation so I was hoping this would be really good. But…honestly, I couldn’t stand most of it.

It’s only above Final Fantasy due to it’s ambition and the better parts. See, this movie is about a guy lucid dreaming and going around talking to people. It’s meant to be one of those really deep thought provoking movies.

Now, I don’t like throwing the word “pretentious” around but man was this one pretentious to me. Mostly because most of the film is just people talking about deep topics.

We’re not really seeing anything deep going on that we can process for ourselves, the characters are doing that for us. Some of the talks are interesting but most of them are just long and boring.

And there’s so dang much of it. The scenes where they shut up and we soak it all in are a bit better but can still reek of pretension. It’s also done in a way where you get it only because they hit you on the head with it, but you also don’t get it because sometimes random shit happens while the director pretty much goes “ask me what it means!”

Okay, that’s a bit harsh. It’s much better than other films that do this, and hey at least it’s not A Serbian Film. But despite it’s best efforts, it really does feel like it’s trying too hard to be deep rather than actually being deep.’

I can get into artsy movies (I liked mother! After all) but this didn’t do much for me. Although I do dig the style, especially since it changes styles sometimes so at least it gave me something interesting to look at.

If you got something out of this, I totally get it. But personally I found it to be boring, annoying and pretentious. Oh and please don’t tell me I don’t get it, I do. I just simply didn’t care for it.

Sorry. …Now onto the better ones.

GOOD:

Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius:

Don’t have a lot to say about this one. I watched the show semi-recently so I am covering this with knowledge of both it and this movie. I also wrote a he movie so this will mostly be a new version of that.

Now, the series actually started as a pilot in 1998, which Nick liked so much they decided to turn it into a film before going to series. Oddly enough, they used clips for it in the trailers for the movie, which always confused me as a kid.

As for the movie itself, it’s good enough. Some of it has not aged too well, as some of the charecters aren’t the best yet, and there is some bad humor.

But the animation actually isn’t as bad as i thought it would be, and there’s some sweet-ness to it with a nice message. Jimmy is called out for what he does and he makes up for it in the end. Cindy even gets her nice moment here.

It started off slightly shakey, but gets better in the 2nd half, even if it has the obligatory rushed ending. So overall, it’s nothing great, but i think it holds up well enough. I honestly think the series is better but as an introduction to it, it’s not too bad.

Pretty amusing/weird that it got that Oscar nod though.

Pokemon the Movie 3:

Of the theatrical Pokemon films, this is the one I remember the most, as I recall quite liking it. And especially compared to the first 2, this one was actually pretty good!

Mostly because it has a more interesting concept than usual. We’ve got this force called the Unknown, and this little girl that gets caught up in this along with Ash’s Mom.

It’s hard to explain but is interesting and adds some cool visuals, as well as some heart. Yeah, there’s some nice stuff in this movie, mostly involving the girl which gives us more heart than you may expect in this kind of movie.

It does have a slight extended episode feel, due to a lack of further depth for the leads and smaller stakes than the previous, but it’s executed well enough that it’s not a big deal for me.

Also, Team Rocket is useless but from what I can tell, that’s to be expected.

I’d say more but besides being a bit hard to explain without spoiling it, I think others like Cartoon Hero explained it better than someone like me could. Overall, I can say that this was about as good as it when I was younger.

It’s still not amazing but it is a pretty solid story, with interesting ideas, nice moments and an solid darker tone that doesn’t feel too out of place. Not sure if total newcomers can get into it, but if you’re open to it, you may like it a lot more than expected.

I imagine the last Pokemon films I get to cover won’t live up to this but we’ll see when we get there, eh?

(Side note, there was a short in front of the movie that for some reason reason was in the version I watched. It’s 10 plus minutes long so I guess it’s like the mini Olaf’s Frozen Adventure of it’s time.)

Atlantis The Lost Empire:

Ranking the Disney Animated Canon: 2000’s

Yay, another Disney one I can skip. To recap what I said: It’s a solid adventure with interesting lore, solid characters and great animation even if it’s held back by wonky pacing and a weak villain. The high points it had made me put it above Pokemon, even if it has more flaws.

Either way, still a fun adventure with a few dents here and there.

Recess School’s Out:

Recess: School’s Out

Oh hey, I get to mostly skip this one, since I reviewed it. You can see some further thoughts via that link. As far as movies based on cartoons go, this is one of the better ones.

I wouldn’t call it great since it has a tiny Big Damn Movie problem, as well as other minor things but I do think it does a good job of staying true to the spirits while still raising the stakes decently enough.

I mostly like it for the heart. There’s some nice scenes and I especially like how TJ and Prickley’s relationship is explored here. It’s able to give you just a tad more than you might see in the show.

It’s not amazing or anything but it is a solid film of the series and on it’s own it also works as a fun family film. Not an awful lot to add so there you go, I think it’s pretty good.

Shrek:

Dreamworks a thon #4: Shrek

Oh hey, another I get to mostly skip, as I covered it 5 years ago. In that post, I went into why the film became as big as it was, and why it does mostly hold up.I’m a bit long winded there (okay, VERY long winded, god I hate my old work) but I do stand by what I said.

Although I will say I like it ever so slightly less upon another viewing. I do still quite like it for the mostly good, and heart, Those elements do make it hold up well.

But it does some Seinfeld is Unfunny going for obvious reasons and sometimes some jokes can be a bit annoying. And despite their best efforts, I don’t care for the Romantic Misunderstanding/split up stuff.

But even with that, I do quite enjoy for the stuff that works. The really good iokes and nice romance makes up for some of the parts that haven’t aged amazingly well,

So yeah, has some flaws but the high points make it pretty solid and high on this ranking, although just barely in some parts. And hey, it also made for some pretty great memes.

And now that All Star is in my head again, let’s move on.

GREAT:

Monsters Inc:

Yep, we’ve got our first Pixar movie, meaning we’re already at the point where the toppers become predictable. I’m not linking to the old post this time because I still hate my old work.

You can Google it yourself. Either way, I am making this short. It will be interesting to see how a lot of the Pixar movies hold up after going about 6 years without seeing most of them.

Thankfully, I still love this one as much as I did back in 2012. Looking back, this one almost effortlessly great. It juggles a fair amount but keeps a good pace and never gets boring or overstuffed.

It’s rather laid back while still being really funny and enjoyable. Almost every joke lands, especially Mike’s reactions. And of course it’s also quite sweet with Sully and Boo’s connection and while it has aged a tad, the animation is still solid with a lot of great monster designs.

The only issues I can find are mostly nitpicks and I suppose some may prefer the deeper Pixar movies sometimes I do too but this one manages to be great without needing to get too deep.

It pretty much cemented the Pixar formula and it still holds up after all this time, for the most part anyway. It also manages to create drama between the friends without full on doing the split up thing!

So yeah, predictable pick but it’s humor, heart and solid writing easily makes it my favorite animated film of 2001.

(Sidenote, Youtuber TheRealJims is doing Pixarl reviews, alongside his main Simpsons reviews and they are 100 percent worth a look)

And those were the animated films of 2001. Overall, this year was fine. A slightly step down from 2001 but still decent enough some solid movies and at least one great. Even if liked the worst one slightly more than 2000’s worst one.

So yeah, not too bad a year with some pretty notable films. I’d like to say we’re moving onto to 2002…but I kinda did Top 5 for that year back in 2013, so there’s no point in doing a full ranking.

Don’t worry, I did watch the ones I hadn’t seen just to be complete. My full ranking will be below. So yeah, instead I’ll see you for 2003 to see how that year pans out.

See ya.

2002 RANKING:

MEH:

Eight Crazy Nights

DECENT:

Jonah A Veggietales Movies (Decent)

GOOD:

Return to Neverland

Hey Arnold The Movie

Pokemon 4ever

The Wild Thornberries Movies

Treasure Planet

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmeron

The Powerpuff Girls Movie

GREAT;

Ice Age

Spirited Away

Lilo and Stitch

Friday the 13th Part III

3 Dimensions of “Okay”

Hello, Spongey here.

We are currently in the middle of Superhero Month. However, there just so happens to be a Friday the 13th in this month, and of course I kinda have to do reviews of the movies around that time.

You can imagine the trouble I had getting around it. I considered canning it as I sometimes do, but I decided to go ahead and do it along side these themed reviews, sorta like I did back in 2014 when I did some side reviews.

In order to do this, I am writing this review a few weeks before April even starts. So yeah, I have no idea how that Mole Men movie turned out, no spoilers!

But enough of explanations, onto the movie. We’re more or less in full swing, so there’s not much to say for this one, except that it was in 3D. 80’s 3D meaning it won’t be too subtle about it.

Also spoilers, he gets the Hockey mask in this one.

We’ve got the same director from Part 2, and our writers mostly have other Friday entries. So, will Jason’s 3rd outing be as decent as the previous ones? Will the 3D be as hilariously forced as I expect?

Let’s see.

This, is Friday the 13th Part III

The movie opens with…the ending of Part 2. Spoiler alert! Seriously, they more or less go through the whole entire climax. You could have just done a simple Recap instead of wasting runtime, but whatever.

Eventually we continue from where we left off as Jason’s Mom’s Had spits out the title sequence. And of course it is in 3D which by the way, fails because I’m watching it in 2D.

After it, Jason is able to get up like it was just a stab wound and wanders off until he bumps into a grumpy couple who he kills in a decently creepy but also pretty long scene.

The mood of it is ruined by an incredibly abrupt cut to the next scene, which has someone shoving a bat in our face because 3D. Nice.

We meet our fodder for the day in the form of Chris Higgins in her friends, one of which gives us a false scare.

“I’m not an asshole, I’m an actor”

“Same thing”

He’s not wrong. Also two of them are stoners and one is pregnant which makes them all super goners.

They head out and bump into an old guy who of course tells them to stay away but he’s crazy so they don’t listen to him.And then he throws 3D into our face again. I really hope this isn’t pretty much the whole movie.

They arrive at Crystal Lake, which means they likely don’t watch the news. We get the usual banter that switches between slightly annoying and charming until we get another false scare thanks to someone pulling a cruel prank.

“Asshole”

Yeah,I’m with them.

“That’s just his way of getting attention”

He must be really ignored if that’s what he has to do.

Chris is especially mad due to it not helping her paranoia, as something bad apparently happened in her past because of course.

Shelly and someone else hit up a convenience store where they bump into some bikers…who just grab them but then give the female her wallet back when she asks really nicely.

At least they’re nice jerk bikers?

But on their way out, they bump into their bikes which makes them angry jerk bikers. But don’t worry, Shelly runs over one of their bikes before one of hem can get going so it’;s a victory for then.

And then we cut back to camp as someone throws a yo yo in our face because 3D. This 3D feels so natural, doesn’t it?

Sometime after Shelly returns, the Bikers find the way here and decide to even the score by lighting the barn on fire. …A bit of leap from someone hitting your bike, don’t you think?

Thankfully,Jason is there to kill the female Biker although she was the least jerk-ish so this is only a half good thing. He kills the jerk bikers (in 3D) to make up for it though.

After that we get an actually nice moment where Chris says she came back here to prove she’s stronger than she thinks she is. Whatever her trauma is, it must be pretty bad and this could possibly save the movie.

This is followed by a bit where two of the guys are juggling and one girl says there’s better things one guy can do with his hands and then he drops what he’s doing and follows her., Mood Whiplash aside, that was actually pretty funny.

Then it’s back to Chris as she explains her backstory: She was attacked by some ugly man 2 years ago which doesn’t like much but she really sells the trauma of it. So yeah, I say that traumatic backstory worked.

Shelly, being the asshole he is, scares Vera with a Hockey mask. He may as well be asking for Jason to kill him right now.

“Why do you do these stupid things?”

Because he’s an asshole.

“Being a jerk is better than being a nothing”

Just kill him so he can shut up. Okay, I get what they are trying to do, it just doesn’t work for me. Thankfully, Jason does kill Shelly but it seems to happen offscreen as we see Jason has his hockey mask.

Good, he has it now, the end!

We get a false scare from one guy and Jason shares my feelings on it as he kills the guy. There’s actually been a few false scares I’ve skipped which is a bit sad for this series.

Jason kills Debbie and her screams are heard by a couple people who think she’s having an orgasm. I am not kidding. Once again Jason feels me as he kills the guy who suggested that.

Chris and Rick return to find the place in disarray and wonder where everyone went. Rick splits up, even after Chris offers to come with her. And once again Jason punishes him.

Okay, is Jason even a bad guy in this one?

But I gotta say, Jason crushing his skull until his eyes pop out is pretty great.

And so that only leaves Chris to fend off against Jason. After a bit of chasing, she eventually finds a chase and tries taking him on herself! Holy crap, now that is amazing!

Granted, she just hits him in the leg once then runs off but hey, she tried.

She tries to escape in the van but of course it quickly breaks down. Hey, at least it started, that’s better than most vehicles in horror movies.

They make it to the barn where Chris manages to knock him out, because she’s pretty much awesome. Jason is unmasked and plot twist, he’s the guy she bumped into years ago!

…How does that work, given the timeline? Granted the timeline of this series has never made sense but this still feels a bit…forced. Then out nowhere, someone pops up to save her but he’s as effective as Groundskeeper Willie.

Chris takes an axe to him which finally takes him out for good. Until the cliffhanger ending at least but for now, she runs off and escapes in a canoe.

After a pointless dream sequence, the police arrive the next morning and escort her out as he cries hysterically. Ouch. And thankfully, there’s no dumb cliffhanger as Jason’s body is still dead in the barn.

There is a random shot of the lake though. Maybe it’ll be the killer in the next one. Either way, the end! Yeah, bit of a weak ending but not even the first movie had the best ending so it’s not a big deal.

Final Thoughts:

This one was…okay. The weakest of the first 3, easily. It’s a bit of a mixed bag, as there is some decent stuff here. Some creepy moments, some decent kills and a decent backstory for Chris.

But as a whole, it just feels a bit bland compared to some of the other entires. It’s only the 3rd one but you can tell they were struggling a tad with ideas, hence the gimmick-y 3D which is only just laughable most of the time.

It’s mostly stuff we’ve seen before, not a whole lot new here. Aside from a lot of false scares and dumb moments. But viewing wise, it’s perfectly acceptable. A tad annoying in places but nothing too bad.

It’s very much in the middle. It has some good parts, like Chris being awesome, some bad parts and some missed chances to be better but overall it’s just okay…in 3D!

That’s all I really got for this one. Some good, some bad but mostly it’s just sort of there for me. Still, it has enough decent moments that it makes me glad I watched it, even if I kind of had to.

Rating: Average

Not my best Friday review but hopefully Part 4 can fix that this July. Either way, that was a fun detour. We return to your Superhero Month already in progress.

See ya.

Superhero Month: Elektra

The fact that this came out in January suddenly explains so much

Hello, Spongey here.

Okay, off the bat I have to say that we’re changing gears from what I hinted at last time. We will do it next week, it’s just that technical difficulties made me unable to access the film in question.

So until that’s cleared up, we have this movie. We had to do at least one bad Superhero Movie this month and I found one. Most of the really infamous ones had been done already except for a few and of those few, this one I found the worst.

There’s worse overall but this one’s still bad. So back in 2003 they did a Daredevil movie (which I had to watch for this review it and I…liked it? Details here: https://letterboxd.com/spongey444/film/daredevil/ ), and despite it’s mixed reaction, it did pretty well so they figured they may as well do a spin off film for Elektra.

It didn’t out pan out well, as it bombed and people hated it, which also continued the female led Superhero Movie curse. Seriously, it’s surprisingly the DCEU is the one that eventually got it right.

Anyway, we’ll see how bad it is for ourselves. Honestly, I could just tell you it has no Stan Lee cameo and end it there but I have to say a bit more.

The director did the X Files movie, and of the 3 writers, one did nothing, one is gonna be a showrunner on Iron Fist Season 2, and the last one is credited on such films as X2 and The Avengers.

I feel like it had less control on this one. Oh and he also is a writer on the recent Ready Player One, I’m timely!

Anyway let’s get into it.

This, is Elektra

The movie opens with narration explaining how it’s Elektra’s destiny to stop these generic bad guys. How is it that certain kinds of narration suck you in while other kind just immediately tell you this is gonna suck?

We truly start with with this guy Elektra is out to take care of and someone he hired to take care of him.

“That woman died years ago”

Oh yeah, that did happen in Daredevil. Don’t worry, the explanation will make complete sense.

Elektra (played by Jennifer Garner) appears and dispatches him in a darkly lit room so thus we don’t get to see much. Except for an ass shot, classy. At least it’s the only time something like that happens.

She kills the head guy which causes the music to loudly blare in a way that’s kind of distracting. But whatever, it doesn’t mater so let’s move on.

Sometime later Elektra her money for doing that job and we see that movie will have more people talking in dark rooms than Fantastic Four 2015, which I didn’t know was possible.

I mean, I know this movie is meant to be serious but it gets pretty dull pretty fast. But anyway, McCabe has another job for her which she isn’t up for but spoilers she agrees to it.

We then get a flashback to her training after coming back to life. A blind martial arts master helped her with that, she is just sort of brushed aside.

Once again a Ben Affleck Superhero Movie with a Director’s Cut learns that killing off a character will only just make their next appearance worse by having to deal with said death. Except at least there they tried to address it, here it’s just like whatever.

After the flashback, Elektra learns she has to wait for further info on the job. So she just does stuff around the house which is edited to make it seem more interesting than it is.

Then we have another flashback with a strict swimming instructer because…reasons. These flashbacks kind of have a point but the way they are edited just makes the film seem more complex than it really is.

The current story finally progresses as a girl appears in her house as she broke in to steal something, for reasons. Before anything can happen, we jump into yet another flashback which is actually a dream sequence.

These random abrupt scenes add so much, don’t they? I mean seriously, it’s every bit as clunky as I’m making it seem.

The next day she meets that girl’s father, Mark Miller. That’s one A away from me making some witty remarks! They talk a bit, then they cut to Elektra walking around and then the girl pops up.

This movie is gonna make me say “And then” a lot, isn’t it?

“I thought you were cool”

“I’m not”

You got that right.

She’s here to say that Dad has invited Elektra over for Christmas dinner. Wait, this is a Christmas movie now? Well, it’s no Batman Returns or Iron Man 3, no sir.

By the way Do we find out exactly why she broke into Elektra’s house other than we need a reason for her to meet Elektra? (If it is is explained, I apologize)

Anyway, Elektra comes over to her home.

“Elektra, like the tragedy”

…Too easy.

They bond a bit which gives some okay bits, even if it also leads to characters bluntly explaining their deal. Oh and Abby’s Mom is dead because of course she is.

But just when you think there’s too much plot progression, we get another clunky flashback which adds as much as the other ones.

The next night, some assassins show up to kill Mark and Abby which leads to lackluster action. I mean they’re to make some of this more interesting but it seems like they’re trying too hard and making it a bit overdone in places, ya know?

Daredevil did this too but it went so all out with it that it made it enjoyable but here it feels like they wanted to make up for the lack of of substance.

She takes care of them and the villains catch wind of this and thus send a new team to get rid of Elektra and get “The Treasure” who is Abby, spoilers.

This scene is almost cool, let’s ruin that with Mid 2000’s Punk Rock when we cut back to Elektra. She brings Abby and Mark to Terrance Stamp, so we can at least one good performance in this.

She wants them to stay with him but he says no because he once no part in this, understandably. As they drive elsewhere we see how the direction causes the acting to suffer.

Sometimes the actors do alright but in places like this they sound really stilted and as bored as we are, which I do blame on the poor directing for the most part.

“That’s messed up”

Agreed. Also, you can;t hear it but “I’m acting!”

She takes them to McCabe’s country house where we get some bonding. Side note, Abby is kind of annoying. Not hugely so but enough for this bonding to not work as well as it should.

But it works better than the romance with Mark, which is incredibly forced. Thankfully, some bad guys show up before we get too much development.

They escape, but McCabe gets his head cut off which is awesome for how unexpectedly gruesome it is for a PG-13. (It’s almost like this was cut down from an R…)

By the way, these new bad guy goons have these honestly cool powers that I would have liked to see more of.

I mean, one guy has a wolf jump out of his Tattoos, that is….amazing. Why did this movie til now to get slightly cool?

Speaking of cool, Abby reveals she has martial arts skills and you can tell Elektra is surprised by how she only looks slightly surprised, if it all. But then one of the bad guys gives her the kiss of death.

And said bad guy is a bad girl.. …..Yeah. Not touching that one.

Stick arrives, forcing the bad guys to retreat. He even manages to save her from death, right after a quick pointless flashback.

After Elektra wakes up, Stick explains that Abby is indeed the Treasure that the bad guys want because “The Treasure” is pretty much a chosen one type and I guess a lot of this was a plan to get Eletktra involved and oh who cares?

The only important part is that Abby needs protecting and Elektra needs to learn….something. Oh and Elektra has OCD.

“I don’t have OCD, I had whine I was a kid but I haven’t done it in years?”

That is not how OCD works, an adult should know that.

Elektra astrally (screw you, it’s a word) projects herself to challenge Kirgi to a meeting and he accepts, so she heads to him to take care of this. He happens to be at her old house which means more flashbacking!

But this time they do have a point as they reveal that Kirgi killed her mother because we didn’t have enough stale cliches in this. Speaking of stale, boy is there a lot of slow motion in this fight.

To the point where it’s just kinda lame to me. Abby appears to join in on the fun and eventually they escape into a Hedge Maze as the awesome Tattoo guy follows them .

…And then she snaps his neck,killing the best character. Boo.

Abby gets the kiss of death but through air because…yeah, that would be awkward. But before Elektra can take care of that, she has to fight off Kirgi and after a scuffle, she kills him.

Perhaps a bit too easily but it just means we’re almost done. She finds Abby but sadly she is dead. But spoilers, even though this is the kind of movie you think could kill off a character, they don’t.

I mean this scene itself seems okay on it’s own, but then they have Elektra magically brings Abby back to life by performing a thing-oh whatever. If it was explained earlier, it’s still forced.

With Abby alive, Mark shows up (guess we’ll overlook his thoughts on Abby being the Treasure) and he and Elektra kiss because oh yeah that was a thing.

She says goodbye to Abby and then leaves.

“Please don’t let her be like me”

“Why not?”

I take it you didn’t watch the boring movie we just sat through. That was Stick by the way who gives wisedom I don’t care about and Elektra finally walks into the credits.

Credits where the audio cuts out mid-way through. I hope that’s just the version I have and they weren’t that incompetent.

Final Thoughts:

This wasn’t my best review, but I needed a bad one and the others were either done to death or gave me even less to work with than this one. Honestly, this one isn’t the worst.

There’s worse Superhero movies out there and even when it comes to Female Led ones, it’s no Catwoman. But man is it ever so boring. To be fair, there is some effort here and there.

There are some kid of cool parts like the Tatoo guy, and some bits of heart I suppose. But a lot of this movies is really dull with a flat story and characters. I just simply didn’t care about anyone because no one is really fleshed out.

I see what they were doing with Elektra herself, but she just ends up being kind of generic to me and isn’t that interesting. Which is too bad as she’s the only one given any kind of development.

Oh and the editing can be poor. I get why the flashbacks as there to an extent but they just end up being clunky. The action scenes are almost cool but are mostly just a slow mo crap.

The worst thing is that these problems are done worse in other movies, so it’s not even memorably bad. It’s mostly just boring bad with some incompetence thrown in.

It’s not horrible or anything, it’s just boring and tries too hard to be cool and deep and just ends up being lame. Even with it’s problems, I’d stick with Daredevil because it’s hilarious. I haven’t seen the Netflix show but I’m gonna assume it’s also better.

As for Elektra the movie, it’s a big a bowl of meh.

Rating: Meh

Okay, next time we do the movie we were supposed to do this time. And spoilers, it’s the DCOM one.

See ya.

General Review: Isles of Dogs

Hello, Spongey here.

Animation time again, and today we get the other movie that came out a few weeks ago. This one started out small and went to more theaters each week hence why it took a bit for me to get to it. But it did come a week sooner than I expected, which is good.

Anyway, Wes Anderson. I don’t have too much experience with him but based on the films of his I have seen (Grand Budapest Hotel and Fantastic Mr Fox), I get what his style is and I quite like it.

Fantastic Mr Fox was quite interesting, being an animated film done by a well known Auter like him and now he’s back with another one. We really need more of these, I mean imagine an animated film by artistc masters like Tommy Wiseau!

…Wait..

The only thing to say for this one is that it actually got a PG-13, which is pretty crazy for a somewhat mainstream animated feature. Although maybe putting a trailer for it in front of some kids movies was a bad idea.

It’s gotten pretty high praise, with a 93 on RT so I’m excited to get into. Let’s see if it’s worth a look.

This, is Isles of Dogs

Set in a dystopian near-future Japan a young boy goes in search of his dog after the whole species is banished to an island due to an illness outbreak.

This movie was pretty good. Yeah, I’m not fully 100 percent in love like some others but I overall thought it was pretty solid and it was very interesting. Wes Anderson’s other movies are that way, they slowly grow on you as they go on.

My problems are either due to taste or are mostly nitpicks that won’t bother others. It is a slow burn so sometimes it can feel longer than it is,, and yet I still feel like some aspects of the resolution are a tad rushed.

Also, there’s quite a few characters so a fair bit of them don’t get much to do, and also there’s a sort of romance that felt a tad pointless. Oh and one character has a change that was kinda rushed but that’s a spoiler so no further details on that.

None of it’s too big but it did prevent me from liking it a bit more. But now onto why it’s still good.

Wes Anderson’s style is very much on point and he uses the animation medium really well. The stop motion itself as good as you’d expect with strong designs on the dogs and there’s some especially great shots and of course some well filmed landscapes.

It’s not the most in your face style compared to some other directors I’ve seen, but that’s good and it’s still very much there in every frame.

The premise is an interesting one and the film does a good job of exploring that world and it’s characters. It does become a basic finding someone story with Atari trying to find Spots but the way they flesh them out makes it engaging.

There’s some nice moments that we get as things are fleshed out that helped me connect to the characters and thus the overall story. The characters they do focus on like Cheif are solid with how they are fleshed out.

They also have a nice chemistry which gives us some decent humor. There’s plenty of solid chuckles here. It gets especially good in the 3rd act, as it all heats up. The ending ending mostly works even if some aspects get rushed, as I said.

The movie is just generally well crafted on most fronts, and it’s one I can see improving on multiple viewings as it is that kind of movie. There’s plenty of really good things here for people to fall in love with.

Overall, Isle of Dogs is pretty good. Yes, it has my usual pedantic problems that prevent me from loving it like so many others do but overall it is a high good. It can be slow with some underdeveloped elements but it also boats strong direction and it explores it’s premise and main characters pretty well.

If you’re a fan of Wes Anderson or more artistic movies, this is a must see. Those who are new to these things should still see it but be aware of it’s slower nature compared to what you’re used to.

Either way, it’s a pretty solid film and is another one that proves animation can do things outside the norm, with the help of a notable and solid director. It’s very much worth seeking out if you’re up for it.

Rating: Good

Yeah, not much to say, I just wanted to get this out there. But yeah, not great but still pretty unique and solid. The next animated film is also Dog Based although due to money I may skip on both that and Duck Duck Goose and go straight to the ambitious crossover event in history.

But we’ll see. Either way, we’ll be back soon.

See ya.

Superhero Month: Superman and the Mole Men

Back when “DC Movie” was a neutral term.

Superman and the Mole Men is property of Lippet Pictures

Hello, Spongey here.

It’s been awhile since we had a theme month that wasn’t a sequel to a previous one. Allow me to fix that by welcoming you to Superhero Month!

With Infinity War coming out, I figured this was a perfect theme to get into, This was going to be next month but then Marvel just had to move it up a week so here we are.

For these next 4 weeks, I’ll be reviewing some Superhero movies. Mostly not so great ones of course, but one good one may sneak in there, we’ll see. I think we have a decent enough variety so this should be fun?

First up, we’re going all the way back to 1951 with possibly the first Superhero Movie. I say possibly because it depends on your definition of Superhero and maybe there’s another before this tucked away somewhere.

But besides being close enough, it is the first DC Movie so it has to count for something, right?

The only thing to note before we dive in is that this was a pilot for the Adventures of Superman TV Series, because even back then they did that. And it only runs 58 minutes which barely qualifies it as a movie but ah well, at least this will be quick.

The director who impressively did over 1300 projects, one of which was that Doomsday Machine movie NC did for that DVD. One writer mostly did 50’s TV while the other actually worked in Comics so we’re in good hands on that front.

So how does one of the earliest Superhero Movies fare? Just how hilariously dated will it be? Let’s find out.

This, is Superman and the Mole Men

The movie opens with narration explaining the backstory of Superman but the narrator shuts up after it so this feels like what it is.

We truly start in Silsby as we see characters talking like stereotype of 50’s characters, which I guess makes those accurate. Clark Kent and Lois Lane arrive to see the world’s deepest oil well, meaning something will go wrong pretty soon.

The whole thing is shutting down though for reasons that are explained but I honestly don’t care about too much. That night, we get a peek at the titular Mole Men.

And by Mole Men I mean Conehead Gargamels. One smooth transition later, Lois and Clark arrive on the scene.

“Great Scott!”

In a few years, someone’s gonna sue you …or you can sue them actually.

They find that the elderly watchman is dead, which is a bit dark for this kind of movie but okay. They are way too calm about it, especially Lois.

Speaking of her, she’s then super spooked by a mole man, which comes with it’s own incredibly overbearing 50’s horror music.

“They had the bodies of Moles”

Not really. Gotta love budget limitations.

She automatically assumes they killed the watchman because…they look weird. I mean she’s likely right but that’s really racist, Lois.

Clark talks to the Foreman and explains that the oil thing was shut down because they fear they are digging up Radium and don’t want to expose anyone to it. Side note, earlier Lois said the drill could possibly go to “The center of the earth” and now it looks like it did.

Subtle. Also, that’s either the single best drill ever ore Earth is much smaller than expected.

“If that stuff’s radioactive..”

That can’t be good!

We see the Mole M\en walking about and it looks like everything they touch glows in the dark. The music seems to be more scared of this fact than I am. They peek into a little girls room and the scene cuts away before my mind wanders into…places.

Later, it seems like The Mole Men got around and most of the town knows about them. Clark, being the voice of reason says not to think they’re bad just because they look different.

At least he isn’t racist. Back with the Mole Men they are simply interacting with the girl, so get your mind out of the gutter. All is well until the Mom comes in and screams bloody murder which is heard but Clark and the towns people because this happens to be the same street.

“Hope you’re happy with the fool you’ve made of yourself”

…How? She likely is only screaming due to them looking weird, like he said!

An Angry Mob is formed and Clark turns into SuperMan to stop them and see what the mole men about. I love how way of showing him flying is just an overhead tracking shot of the mob and acting like it’s a POV angle.

Superman quickly finds out that the girl is fine but the mob won’t have any of it so he breaks one of their guns. Rude but awesome. Insert topical gun control joke here.

He calms them down after he shows them nothing bad happened yet.

“What about Clark Kent, I’m sure he’s phoning in the story any minute”

“I’m quite sure he isn’t”

That’s not suspicious at all.

But as is human nature, some people in the mob still want to blindly shoot something they don’t understand. Superman tells them to stop but they don’t listen and shoot a mole man. And then the other goes down even though we didn’t see anything hit him.

That one escapes while Superman rescues the other one and has to get him to a hospital. The escaped makes it to some shack but some of the mob people plan to blow it up. Well, these guys are psychos.

But honestly, if he doesn’t even think of escaping through the obvious window that’s in there, it’ll be his own fault. ..Is that harsh? Maybe. …Especially since there are people with guns outside, that’s kind of important.

Thankfully, he finds a trap door and uses that.

The others leave but soon find out that the other mole man is at the hospital so he decides to go up there to take care of him. Going to the hospital to basically kill someone, mole man or no, is a spec-ail kind of awful.

I wasn’t expecting the most despicable Superman villains to be normal dudes but here we are.

The Sheriff thankfully agrees with me but this guy whose name I don’t know won’t have any of it. Meanwhile, Clark gets the mole man to the hospital and he’ll be fine.

Also, the mole men have very similar body structures to humans, which I guess makes them more man than mole. Also, Clark almost says “I” when talking about Superman, smooth.

“You give the impression you’re leading a double life”

We get it, he’s Superman and no one knows.

The Mob arrives and he turns into Superman to tell them to back off.

“I’m going to give you one chance to stop acting like Nazi Stormtroopers”

Believe it or not, I only just found out through that line that “Stormtrooper” was an actual thing before Star Wars so..that line made me laugh more than it should have.

“Obviously none of you can be trusted with guns so I’m going to take them away from you”

Insert topical comment here.

The mole man that escaped returns with more mole men, this time with a strange weapon. Thankfully, Superman talks them down and everything seems to be-the mob is gonna mess it up, aren’t they?

Yep, the main comes out and is attacked by their amazingly timeless 50’s effects. Superman jumps front of the weapon and saves Mr. Benson (finally learned his name).

I wouldn’t have minded letting him die but that’s why I’m not a Superhero.

“You saved my life”

“That’s more than you deserved”

Oh snap, that’s harsh. True, but harsh.

And the the Mole Men just turn around and leave, with Superman helping them out. Well, that was an epic climax.

He takes them back to the hole that they crawled out of and the mole men destroy it so no one can get to them again. Huh, I like this. It’s not quite the typical “Everyone gets along “ ending and frankly I don’t blame them for not wanting to see humans again.

Anyway, The End! Told you it was only 58 minutes, and frankly I’ve seen worse abrupt endings in longer movies.

Final Thoughts:

This was more or less what I expected from a low budget 1951 Superhero movie. Pretty corny with pretty laughable production values. For the most part it’s just kinda okay by today’s standards.

It’s cheesy-ness does make it enjoyable so it is one you can laugh with, plus it’s not too long. There’s also nothing too wrong per say, just has the era of being nothing too special.

That said, I do like how it turns out the real villain is this mob and their prejudice, it does make it a tad deeper than it could have been. Although it does beat you over the head with it at times.

Also, George Reeves makes for a good Superman. A tad generic but he sells both Clark and Supes pretty well.

Overall, a mostly average film for what it is with some corny-ness and smart aspects to make it worth at least one look if you’re interested. Not much more complicated than that.

Rating: Average

For the first Superhero movie, it’s about what I expected. It does feel like the TV Pilot it is though.

Next time, we jump ahead quite a bit for another middling movie that I pretty much knew I had to do.

See ya.

A Look at SpongeBob Games

Hello, Spongey here.

I’ve explored a few mediums at this point, mostly Film and Tv but I did dabble in Comic Books once. And I want to expand my horizons once more.

So today we’ll finally talk about video ga-hey wait, what’s that noise? Oh, it’s that machine made back in 2014 that forced you all to view alternate versions of me reviewing things.

I put it away after last time but I had to pull it back out to do some Spring Cleaning. I may have touched it a tad but I’m sure nothing will happen with it this time.

Even if the sound it’s making is getting a bit louder. And …louder. I may or not have made a grave mistake. …And it’s once again simply made a portal.

Eh, let’s look into it. Didn’t hurt last time, I doubt it’ll hurt this time. Let’s see what’s on the other side of it this time…

Universe #774a: Angry Video Game Nerd

He’s gonna take you back to the past
To play the shitty games that suck ass
He’d rather have a buffallo
Take a diarrhea dump in his ear
He’d rather eat the rotten asshole
Of a road killed skunk and down it with beer
He’s the angriest gamer you’ve ever heard
He’s the Angry Nintendo Nerd
He’s the Angry Atari Sega Nerd
He’s the Angry Video Game Nerd

When it comes to cartoon the kids are into these days, SpongeBob was way after my time. But I am aware of the general premise and just how big it got. I mean, it has to be big to have so many fucking games based on it!

Being a show after my time, its games are mostly more recent which you know isn’t my thing but I figured just for you, I’d look at a few. Mostly the older ones, and mostly the shitty ones.

The oldest and probably shittiest one is Legend of the Lost Spatula, for the GameBoy Color. Is it fair to pick on a Gameboy Color gam  like this? Likely not. Am I going to shit on it anyway? You bet your ass!

Okay, to be fair I suppose the graphics and music are okay by Gameboy Color standards. That said, some of the characters look kind of goofy, one example being Mr. Krabs..

I can’t exactly describe it but he just doesn’t look right. Not that anyone does but he sticks out. But that’s only the icing on the shit sundae.

First off, you jump like you’re on the moon which isn’t exactly the best for a platformer like this. But don’t worry, there’s enemies in the form of these random guys and what do you take them down with?

A Bubble. Not a Super charged bubble or anything like that, just a normal bubble. The best part is that they take only one hit AND they don’t even die, they just run off screen.

It’s like “Oh shit a bubble, run away!”

But that’s not all, they don’t all simply run the opposite of whatever side of them you are one. Sometimes if you’re on the right of them, you’ll run right into you and you take a hit!

That’s great programming right there. Even better, sometimes if the space is closed off enough, he’ll just keep running back and forth and never actually die. Now that’s fun.

Although I do find it amusing that when you take you take your first hit, you lose your pants. Not so amusing is that the next hit takes off his Underwear. Granted, there’s nothing there because this is a kids game but still, that’s kind of fucking gross.

The best part of this bubble is that it goes directly up. That’s right ,it’s not even in an arc in front of you like the rocks in Friday the 13th. That isn’t too bad for the big tough guys but it’s a bitch for the scallops because they’re too small and usually are a tiny bit above you.

That’s because if you hit select, you have other weapons you’re supposed to use against them. I don’t mind there being many weapons but why make your default weapon crappy?

You use the net against the scallops but if they are in front of a tough guy, you have to swap quickly which can be a bitch. Side note, these chests can give you extra pants but sometimes they’re cruel and have nothing!

“April Fools!”

Oh come on, what cruel person plays April Fools jokes on people?

By the way, some of the other weapons like the net or Spatula have ammo so if you run out, you’re shit shit out of luck until you find more. I don’t mind that idea but the way it’s done is pretty annoying so a fair amount of time you’ll use the crappy bubble and the net.

Anyway, the first thing you do is go to Goo Lagoon and hop around on these seemingly endless floating platforms until eventually you find an anchor that takes you underground where you find out you have to collect a bunch of door knobs to fight ghost or whatever.

That’s right, Door Knobs. Now that’s the best collectable ever, amirite?

Honestly, that stuff doesn’t matter since you’ll spend most of the game running around hoping to Neptune you get to where you’re supposed to go. Most levels end with you jumping around of floating platforms which can be hard with how shitty your jump is. Honestly, some of this could have been fun if a lot of these little things were fixed.

But as it is, this game does so many little things wrong that it makes playing it more of a chore. I won’t go through the rest of it because all the problems are just the ones I mentioned rearing their ugly head.

Overall, I suppose I should cut the very first SpongeBob game some slack but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s mostly utter shit. This game can sink to the bottom of the ocean.

Next up is SuperSponge, for the PlayStation. It’s another 2D Platformer and while it is better than Legend of the Lost Spatula, it still has its problems.

First off, once again the platforming is off but this time it’s because your jump is so damn puny and it’s really easy to fall of. Even in Sandy’s Treedome where the platforms are are all close together, this is a problem.

And again, taking down the main enemy is a hassle. There are these slug things and the way to stop them is to catch Jellyfish and throw them at the slug things.

That’s right, you kill a living thing with another living thing. PETA would have a field day with this, but even I’m like what the hell?!

Well okay, you can also do an ass smash on them but I didn’t even know that until I did it by accident!

By the way, you have lives and when you run out you just restart the level, which is fair. But for some reason they made it so your health comes in the  form in these little spatulas, much like the rings in Sonic. This isn’t a bad idea in theory but in practice it’s just really annoying.

Going back to Sandy’s Treedome, that place has this annoying thing where you have to go dive into bathtubs in order to stay wet.

That would be fine except Sandy tells you to put on your water helmet but the sprite has no helmet and you still need to do the water thing anyway. Because simply making the level normal with you just having the helmet on wouldn’t be bullshitty enough.

Going forward a bit, there’s a boss, which is a giant Jellyfish. You defeat it by throwing the little jellyfish at it. That’s right. When a boss is defeated in the same way you defeat a normal enemy, you’re doing it fucking wrong!

And somehow hitting those small snails and slugs is easier than hitting this giant target. Because as I myself once said, logic is for pussies.

In the world after that boss, you get a coral blower which you use to suck up coral which breaks walls in your way. That’s fine but this damn thing weighs you down so much that it makes platforming even bullshity-er than it already was.

That’s not a word? Fuck you, it is now.

But honestly, the first level of this world is a bit more fun. There’s an okay gimmick where you use bubbles to get higher and the only really bullshit-y thing is the coral blower but at least you don’t need to have it the whole time, they place one whenever you truly need it.

Maybe this game is starting to turn itself around. Okay, let’s start the next level-and it begins with a rock falling down which hits you if you’re not careful, which you won’t be because there’s no way you could have seen that coming.

I take it all back, this game sucks.

It’s sad because it’s almost okay. The graphics and music are really good, and it’s almost fun in places. But once again, it has too much bullshit weighing it down.

It’s far from the worst game I’ve played but this one can go die on a hook.

And finally we have Revenge of the Flying Dutchman for the Game Cube. This is easily the best of the 3 games we’re covering. Infact, I honestly wouldn’t even call it bad, but man does it have a lot of shit I can talk about.

This was the first 3D Platformer for SpongeBob so some of its failings can be forgiven, like the kinda weak graphics and stuff like that. I mean hey, they had to start somewhere.

But that doesn’t excuse all the flaws. For example, the music in this game is tied to the costumes you get and not the levels. As a result, there’s only about 6 or so tracks. I am not kidding. That means for the most part, you will be hearing a lot of the same music over and over again, even in situations that require something more epic.

But that’s just nitpicking compared to some of the other stupid shit. Like how you walk like you have to take a massive dump and and the jumping feels a bit off. And again, that’s bad for a game where you have platform. Granted, there’s not as much as in other games of this kind but when you do have to jump around, it doesn’t quite feel right.

Every level has a checklist telling you what you need to do, which is good at all but the thing is, the game pretty much forces you to do everything on it before you can get to the final level and beat the game.

Even the extra stuff like collecting a certain amount of jellyfish. So once you beat the boss, you’ve pretty much 100% the game and you can’t go back and get anything you missed, because you’ve missed nothing!

This basically gives the game no replay value which is pretty bad for a game like this. Other platformers from this era didn’t pull this crap, it’s almost like the game knows no one would ever play It again and they just made you do everything before it ends!

Going back to the details, when you collect things like Jellyfish, the counter that pops up only counts the amount you’ve collected for that area, while the counter in the pause menu shows you the overall tally.

Shouldn’t it be the other way around? This becomes a problem in one level where you need to get 100 Jellyfish and because of the in game counter, you think it’s just ones from that area so unless you’ve been paying attention to all this, you’ll get stuck pretty easily.

I’ve heard of people who pretty much quit the game at this point because of this. It’s amazing how such a small detail can throw off a game. It doesn’t ruin the entire thing, but is pretty fucking stupid.

Oh and if you’re wondering about combat, it’s not a focus so that’s why it amounts to you chopping at these random bad guys until they decide to die. Meh.

As for the levels, Downtown makes you do deliveries in a certain time which can get annoying, Jellyfish Fields has that dumb collecting quest, Goo Lagoon looks more like a desert than a beach, and Chum World has the only level specific music in the game which makes it a bit more tolerable.

Honestly, the best part of the whole game is the final level. Not the level itself, it’s as average as the rest of the game. I mean these pirate guys who give us an odd running gag…

“Be you here to steal my booty?”

Okay haw haw, they said booty.

“Aren’t you the one whose been digging around in my booty?”

Uhh….

“His booty is bigger than anyone’s, but he still comes out here to get his hands on even more. He just can’t get enough booty!”

Okay, now they’re doing it on purpose…and I kinda love it.

“Let me guess, you lost some booty, you want some more booty”

Even the game is self aware!

As for the final boss, you avoid these portals he makes and then he makes bombs for some reason which you throw at him a few times until he’s dead. Meh, I’ve seen lamer boss fights, which is a bit sad.

And that’s basically the game. It’s honestly just one of those mostly average games with a few bullshit-y things here and there. It simply hasn’t aged well as most of what works was better at the time then later on when they improved on these things in later SpongeBob games.

Speaking of which, people would kill me if I didn’t mention Battle for Bikini Bottom. It’s considered the best SpongeBob game, at least of this kind and from what I can tell, they’re right.

It’s not  amasterpiece but compared to all these other games, it may as well be. The controls are actually good, the combat is easy to get into, and there’s decent variety and it’s generally fun to play.

It took a little a while but they cracked the code. From what I hear, it was all downhill from there but ah well.

I’m sure there’s more bad SpongeBob games but I only have so much time and GameCube is as recent as I’m willingly to go, save for a certain special case.

I don’t have anything more to say I’m just going to awkwardly end it here. …I wish I had a send off catchphrase.

Back to Universe 1a

…Well, that was fun. Not sure why I think this machine is trouble if it simply let’s me see these other worlds. Whatever, time to store it away until I need to do this again.

At least no one took over this time. I have no way to finish this so…Happy April Fool’s Day!

See ya.

Goosebumps Most Wanted-Dr. Maniac Will See You Now

Hello, Spongey here.

Another month has quickly passed us, which means it’s time to go back to Goosebumps. This time we play into the Most Wanted theme and pay a visit to Dr. Maniac.

You may recall Dr. Maniac Vs Robby Schrwatz which was kind of enjoyable due to how insane it was, but wasn’t the best written. It is also felt like Stine was trying perhaps a bit too hard with the villain.

But it worked as here we are with a sort of follow up to it., I remember this one being even more confusing than the original, and I also remember one…rather interesting bit I’ve been itching to talk about.

So how just how crazy is this one? Does Purple Rage show up? Let’s take a look.

This, is Dr. Maniac Will See You Now

“Hold on, I can’t start my story yet. I have to sneeze”

Lovely start.

This is Richard Dreezer, a wimpy kid who has a a lot of allergies and as such is picked on a lot. He also days dreams about being a superhero and sometimes an evil guy.

Yep, he seems pretty healthy.

We also find out he has a crush on a girl and he goes to Hugh Jackman Middle School. Okay that’s likely a different Hugh Jackman but I just find the idea of a school naming itself after Hugh Jackman to be hilarious.

Richard has to take a book report but he keeps sneezing, sometimes a bit more than should be healthy, at least terms of how much is coming out.

“It was like a Tsunami of snot”

Ew.

Later his parents pick him up to take him to a doctor. Oh and said parents argue a lot.

“He doesn’t need an allergy doctor”

“Yes he does. Be quiet, Barry”

“Don’t tell me to be quiet”

…Yeah. This is the interesting thing I was talking about. It comes up in a more important way at the end but for now I should ask why this belongs in a Goosebumps book.

Oh and Richard has a brother which I only mention to give context to this:

“At least Ernie doesn’t sneeze his brains out every 5 minutes and drip snot all over the carpet”

….Woooow.

They drop him off at Dr Root, whose office has a plaque that says “Allergist and Really Good Doctor”. Someone’s got an ego.

He talks to Dr. Root right away and he says he will give him a shot that will hopefully fix everything. It’s something he’s been making himself, so I can’t see this going wrong.

He gives him the shot and despite a false scare, everything seems fine, so he goes to the Comic Book Museum and meets up with the curator who he sees a lot.

“Shazam, bro”

Get it, that;s a comic that exists. By the way, he says Bro a lot. Great. Not much happens here besides Kahuna vanishing and a weird dude taking his place, which isn’t suspicious at all.

He goes home where we see Ernie is the typical little sibling that is a terror but the parents find too cute to actually ever punish him. Because we need to establish these as the worst parents in Goosebumps history.

“If you had my life, you’d daydream too”

No kidding, yeesh.

Then Bree, the girl he has a crush on shows up at random, because they were picked as partners for a project because now we’re using his day dream as an excuse to not establish things.

Oh and Bree is a total bitch just to add to his amazing life. I mean, his room full of comic book stuff sickens her so much she decides they’ll just meet up tomorrow at the Comic Book Museum to do work and now he’s gotta do all the work.

Yes, he does offer all that but still. Gotta give him credit for finding ways around her attitude even if she sucks.

The next day, he goes to the Museum to meet up with Bree and sees that the guy who replaced Kahuna is gone and now it’s someone who looks like a snake guy from one of the comics.

Some confusing stuff happens and then it all vanishes when Bree walks in with Ernie as they gotta watch him. Bree makes a sarcastic remark and Ernie runs around making a mess, because this is one of those stories where everyone has to be an asshole in some way.

Thankfully someone more likable appears: Dr. Maniac.

“It’s impossible! Dr. Maniac is a comic book charioteer”

Web Comic, actually. Robby created him for his web comic, remember?

Dr. Maniac mistakes Richard for his nemesis in disguise but then changes his mind about that theory quickly. Okay then.

And a slug based villain shows up to challenge Dr. Maniac, but then someone else appears….

“I recognized him at once. The Purple Rage”

YAY, Book redeemed!

“Know what BITES my BABOON?!”

Yep, he’s as hammy as one can be in a book as ever. Still wish we’d start to get more a plot beyond random villains showing up for no reason though.

Some other guy shows up and fights Purple Rage out the door so guess that’s the end of that scene. Dr. Maniac finally explains what is going on: The end of the (comic book) world.

Unless The Scarecrow is involved, I don’t care.

Basically, there was a wall between the comic book world and real world but that wall seems to be gone and now all this is happening, with various different characters in the real world.

Okay, this plot is still kinda flimsy but at least we have a reason for the random-ness now. Also, this is now qualified for an Infinity War meme.

And despite this now urgent situation, Bree just wants to go home because she has homework and doesn’t want to be seen with Richard. I’m sure her not having much reaction to this is supposed to be a joke but it’s not funny and also seriously, you’re less likable than the comic book villains.

Why does he like her, again?

Dr. Maniac won’t let anyone leave though, as he needs them to get the comic book villains back to the museum. His plan to do this is torture them on TV and hope it alerts Purple Rage at least.

But Rage did that same thing last time….and it worked so I can’t fault you there.

Before he can try this plan, Richard and the others escape after tickling Dr. Maniac. Just roll with it. When they get out they see that comic books have indeed invaded with tons of crazy characters running around.

“I knew we should have come to a different museum”

“We didn’t cause this, just because we were there doesn’t mean-”

Good thing you’re interrupted, you were stealing my job.

They make it to Richard’s house only to find that some villains have captured his parents.

“We wouldn’t be in this mess if it weren’t for your father”

“Locked in cages, and they were still arguing”!

I agree, this level of “Get a divorce” shouldn’t be in Goosebumps.

These villains are frog themed (meaning some lame puns), so Richard tries stopping him with Ernie’s fly collection Ex-machina. While this works, I do like that they at least try to resist the snack before caving in.

They escape but thankfully don’t have time to free the parents. I did not mean to type sadly.

We get a short run in with another villain which only exists so Purple Rage can fight him off and re-enter the story.

“I’m never doing a project with you again”

STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHTER.

“Know what BLOWS my BLUBBER? Everything!”’

Insert IHE joke here.

Purple Rage takes care of the villain who didn’t even speak and then calms down after hitting a tree. Again, just roll with it.

He explains that Dr. Maniac is the one who opened the door between the worlds.

“But….why?”

“Because he’s a MANIAC”

Because the book likes to use Dr. Maniac’s craziness as an excuse for weak writing, got it.

“Know what PICKLES my PASTA? Everything!”

You said that already. Man, even Purple Rage is less amazing this time.

“I come from the Angry Planet. Everyone stays angry all the time”

Here we just call that the Internet.

They get back to the museum where Dr. Maniac captures Ernie and heads into Comic Book World and once they find the entrance, they follow him.

For some reason the entrance drops Richard right into water but it leads to a mildly enjoyable and tense scene. Richard is eaten by a whale where the others reside.

You can decide whether a Finding Nemo joke or Pinocchio joke is more appropriate here.

Before anything too interesting happens with the whale, Purple Rage explodes which causes them to fly out and land on a beach. Oh and Bree’s leg came off because Comic Book World.

Thankfully, Richard is able to put her leg back on her pretty easily. …And of course she’s an ungrateful bitch about it. Sigh.

They stumble upon a city where they go into a Doctor’s office because…we need the title pun to make sense I guess. Here they find the Scarlett Starlet, who is again refereed to as being from a Comic Book series because Stine just forgets his own books.

“Dr. Maniac will see you now”

I’ll never get tired of that.

Dr. Maniac comes out and after some shtick, so does Ernie. Maniac goes on about how they will all stay here forever.

‘Everybody left Comic Book World, all my Comic Book Friends….I need people here”

Well, you should have thought of that before opening the doorway, eh?

His plan is to bring more real people into this world so can pretty much rule over there, which I suppose makes sense as now he has no other villains to compete with.

Granted, once the real people are gone they may come in, but I can buy that he doesn’t think too far ahead. The Purple Rage comes in after having previously exploded which he has done before so this isn’t a big surprise.

“I’m on his side now”

Because of course the villain betrayed them.

It seems like all is lost but then Richard remembers this is Comic Book World so maybe he has super powers. I mean, if Bree’s leg can just come off, anything is possible I guess.

But whoops, he doesn’t have any when he tries so while the villains are laughing at his epic fail, they escape. I like how an amusing fail becomes their way of escape, that’s a bit clever I guess.

But on their way out…Dr. Root the Allergy Doctor appear! What?

Well, Richard fainted after the shot earlier and Dr. Root says this is all a dream he is having. …That would explain so many of the issues that I’m not even mad.

But nah, he lied. He’s actually the one who opened the door between the worlds, which explains one comment I made I suppose. So yeah, some random villain opened the door and disguised himself as a Doctor for…reasons.

I feel like this is here for the sake of an “unexpected” twist rather than something that actually makes sense in the story. It doesn’t add too much.

But before the villains can gang up on Richard, he sneezes and yep that’s his Super Power. That’s so predictable I’m surprised I didn’t think of it.

In a pretty awesome moment after all he’s been through, he’s able to take them down with his super sneezes which gives Bree and Ernie a chance to escape.

After that, he leaves and finds that all the Heroes and Villains are randomly back! Yeah, they all came back at the exact same time because they got bored.

We’re almost done, so whatever.

The door back home is still home but just barely so he doesn’t have too much time to use it. After a random scuffle with a villain to pad things out, he gets the door open and his parents, among others happen to be directly on the other side.

They do indeed see him.. but of course the parents are still arguing.

“Sure, I’m a loser. I’m married to one!”

Jesus Christ, this is Goosebumps, not a crappy sitcom! And speaking of expected behavior, Bree is a bitch and says something about getting revenge.

…Yeah, let’s just say I don’t blame Richard at all for what he does next. He decides to let the door close forever and runs off into Comic Book world.

“I was a Super Hero in Comic Book World–not a loser kid with allergies and a bad news family”

So we’re going with the Calling All Creeps ending? You know what, good. Maybe we can get a happy ending after all the crap he went through.

…And then Ernie appears, he wandered off and didn’t get to the door in time. He then proceeds to act like a whiny brat.

“My brother and I were trapped together. And just think, we’re NEVER going to get a day older”

The End. …You just had to do it. You couldn’t let him have happy ending so instead we got this. You know, if they went the Calling All Creeps route, I’d be a tad mixed but I would respect the book for doing that.

But nope. Ugh, we’re done.

Final Thoughts:

Yeah, I have various mixed feelings on this one. There is some neat and enjoyable stuff in here but you have to slog through a lot of annoying stuff to get to it.

Plus, a fair bit of it gets thrown away with the ending. A lot of this feels like Stine made it up as he went along as there isn’t much in terms of plot for most of it.

The basic idea is interesting I suppose but the way it’s done seems to be an excuse to just have random things happen. I can excuse most of it but honestly a lot of the shtick with Maniac and even Purple Rage gets old really quickly.

Dr. Maniac always felt like Stine was trying too hard to make the next iconic Goosebumps villains and that shows here. But then we have Richard’s life, oh boy.

This shtick has been done many times in Goosebumps and usually I don’t mind it since it can add something. They are trying that here, but I feel it goes too far.

His parents’ bickering is not only really annoying but feels too…real for Goosebumps. Yes, it’s done in a goofy way but as I said, this level of “get a divorce” does not belong in Goosebumps, where not much is taken seriously. What happened to “no real issues’?

The ending could have at least made that go somewhere but nope,. we need a downer ending but this isn’t the usual kind for Goosebumps, it’s just…sad.

So yeah, overall it’s a mess that tries too hard at the best of times and gets weirdly uncomfortable and cruel at the worst of times. There’s some fun you can have while reading this but once you’re done, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

A bit of a longer final thoughts than usual but yeah, it was that kind of book.

Rating: Meh

Yeah, it was the ending that pushed it that low. It’s not the worst but still messy.

Thankfully, next time will be better. Not sure by how much but it’s gotta be better than this.

See ya.

Crash and Bernstein-Flushed in Space

Hello, Spongey here.

I think it’s finally time for our first TV Review of the year. Took me awhile, eh? Yeah, we’ll easy ourselves into the year’s TV Reviews which something simply stupid and bad, that will be easy to tackle.

With that said, Crash and Bernstein. I talked about it way back in the Disney XD Sitcoms post but as you’ll see later this year, my mind has changed on some stuff in there. I mostly feel the same about this sow though.

It’s got to be the weirdest Disney Sitcom ever, especially with how it just kinda vanished at the end and is now a bit harder to track down without iTunes and such. I mean, I’m in the Band is all on the App at the moment, this not so much.

(On the bright side, the creator is currently writing for Bizzardvark. Yay?)

It’s wacky brand of humor made ti really hit or miss, which makes it ripe for a review. Because I don’t feel like tracking down and watching a bunch of episodes, I’m just going after one I recalled being pretty bad back when I saw when it aired.

For this review, I did not re-watch the episode before hand like I usually do for these older episodes. I wanted to something different and just jump in. I already remember most of what happened and I know has stuff to riff on, so even if it’s not that bad, it will still be a fun review.

With that said, let’s get into it.

This, is Flushed in Space

Writers: Steve Armogida & Jim Armogida

The episode starts with Wyatt and Crash on a school field trip to Bixby Spacepot, where we get jokes about how Crash doesn’t know what Elevators and Holograms are. I know he isn’t exactly smart but I think that’s stretching it a tad.

He sees that Trent Bixiby himself is here so he goes into his Rich Southerner Persona and tries to speak “Rich people” to him. It’s stupid but the fact that it works is kinda funny.

He just bluntly asks to go space but he says he only hangs out with Billionares, so he says his friend Crash is one and with one sentence Bixiby buys it and says “Wanna go to space?”. I know this show is about stupid humor but that is really pushing it, especially since it’s what starts the plot.

I mean seriously, Crash himself has no evidence of being rich beyond saying a couple things that mean nothing. I didn’t know being rich made you stupid.

After one of the most try hard themes ever, we find out Wyatt and one of his sisters, Cleo, got into some fight and only talk sarcastically to each other and through a confusing joke, she ends up tagging along on their trip.

Side note, after mostly now knowing her from Best Friends Whenever, it’s so weird seeing Landry Bender here again as…pretty much the same character. Amanda also comes along because why not.

Crash passes them off as his entourage and we get a few okay jokes out of that. Wyatt asks her to get a book from the gift shop in such a way that makes it clear he wants her to be late in getting back but she does it anyway because reasons.

And yes, he does move on without her, hoping she’ll miss it. I know they’re fighting but still, our hero!

After some more hit or miss jokes, most of which don’t do much to advance the plot. Including one where is he a flight attendant and he screams because yelling is automatically funny.

“What’s a G-Force?’

A Disney product I’d rather watch.

With that, they are in space. This show sure jumped the shark early.

“Can I level with you, Crash?”

“Yes you can, Trent Bixby”

LAUGH TRACK.

How is that in any way a joke?

Trent says the reason he’s up here right now is to hopefully capture an alien. I feel like you shouldn’t invite random people on a mission like that. After Crash turns on the Green Screen, I mean Anti Gravity we cut back to Earth as Cleo has been left behind.

“It’s like being out smarted by a lamp”

She talks to this woman working there who is Trent’s sister, and she confirms he’s pretty much awful.

“He pays kids to kick me in the shins”

You must be a huge rip off artist.

They decade to mess with them in a nice combo of deserving and cruel.

“SISTEEEEEERS!”

Trent Vs Sisters

Then after a bit with Crash, we cut to Trent just talking to Pesto like nothing happened. I’d comment but I’m focused on how Crash get himself sucked up into space where of course he can breath. Him being a puppet gives them an excuse to just do whatever they want without him, which in turns makes it hard to care when he’s in danger.

“I got sucked out through the toilet. Could happen to anyone really”

Oh so that explains the title pun. Meh.

While out there, Crash is bumps into this random female astronaut because…Gravity was a thing that existed. He pushes her away and we don’t see her again. Haw haw he left someone to possibly die.

Wyatt is able to save Crash but the craft is now out of control because Trent got knocked out I guess. And it’s up to Cleo to get them out, even if she’s annoyingly smug about it. Because no one in this episode is allowed to be likable.

He’s about to apologize…but then he learns about the Auto Land button so forget that! Yep, with that they are saved. What a completely satisfying climax.

They head back to Earth and Cleo says she’s glad he’s safe. What a totally natural transition from being a bitch.

Wyatt says he’s sorry she didn’t get to space with Trent who offers her and his own sister from before a tour of the craft.. Okay, that’s nice even if Trent being good comes right of nowhere.

…You know something stupid happens so let’s skip to it: One transition to the same scene later, they push the button and it launches them into space.

“We’re jerks!”

At least they acknowledge it?

But seriously, this where the episode became bad for me. Before they were just snarking at each other, but now Wyatt launches her into space just to be an asshole for no reason. Cleo seemed actually happy to see you, what the hell?

And then we just cut to later with a random scene that doesn’t address the previous one. Trent’s sister is the background so I wanna know what happened after that jerk move.

Instead, we get Wyatt trying to pass Crash off as an alien which does not fool Trent even though the same getup fooled him earlier. Wyatt then kicks him in the shin and his sister gives him money.

The end. A lame ending to an incredibly lame and stupid episode, with a lame review to match it.

Final Thoughts:

This episode was just stupid. Yes, most episodes of a show like this will mostly be silly jokes, that I’m fine with. Most of the stuff I didn’t like it, I could let slide if that was all it was. If it was just them up in space with no attempt at a story beyond that, I’d be okay with that.

But then they had some stuff that adds nothing, because there’s little to no pay off. Crash pretends to be Rich to go to Space but is never found out in any way. Wyatt is fighting with Cleo for reasons and they never truly make up and it ends with him still being a jerk for no reason.

Not to mention that they dedicate scenes to Pesto and Amanda for them to just vanish once they land. It really feels like they put very little effort into the script here. Sure, I don’t find a lot of the jokes funny but I could forgive that if the story was just simple and stupid.

I don’t remember much from iCarly and Jessie’s space episodes, but I’m fairly sure they did just that,or at least weren’t quite as bad as this. As it is, this episode feels like just a bunch of dumb jokes loosely strung together.

Oh and of course pretty much everyone is unlikable. Normally that would be fine but the way it’s done makes me wonder why I should root for anyone, especially with the ending. That stuff is what made me want to review this one, as it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Overall, your basic stupid episode made worse by an incredibly low effort script with a bad ending. Bleh.

Rating: Meh. It’s not worth it to rate it lower tbh.

Well, that was an okay filler review. For the next one, I’m not sure.. I’m starting a vote soon for what Kidcom you want a review for but since that could take a bit, I may do another filler one before that.

And I know what one it is, and it’s interesting in terms of my thoughts. Should be fun.

See ya.

Ranking the Animated Films of 2000

Hello, Spongey here.

We just ended a project where I rank every film in the Disney Animated Canon by decade. So of course after something as big as that I decide to jump into another big ranking project.

Yeah. This one I’ve been planning for quite some time and wanted to get into sooner rather than later so yeah, we’ll jump it. I’ll be writing the sections right after watching each film this time so I’ll be more prepared with these.

Ever since 2013, I’ve been trying to watch every animated film that comes out,even if until 2016 I mostly had to until DVD. I’ve done so for some other years too but there’s plenty I haven’t seen.

And also I’ve wanted to share my thoughts on in some form, and now I have a project that will allow me to do. I will be ranking every theatrically released animated film by from 2000 to 2015, since I’ve already all the ones for 2016/2017.

This will give me a chance to discuss some films I haven’t covered before and also watch some I haven’t, or given certain ones a revisit. I’m doing 2000 onward since this is where animated films coming was a bit of a bigger deal due to various more studios doing more notable ones.

There’s tons from before 2000 I haven’t seen and the like but I’ll just see what I can, and I don’t want to make this all longer than I have. Maybe some other time, I don’t know.

Now, this will be for films theatricality released in the U.S. and UK because there’s way too many Direct to Video or Japan/European only films to deal with. Don’t worry, I have a plan for those others you’ll see in a bit.

Most of this will be more discussing the films rather than actually surprising you with the rankings as a far bit of these will be obvious. Outside of that, not much else to say about the project.

Because this is already getting long, I’ll talk about the year itself at the end. But without further ado, let’s what we had to offer at the start of this decade.

This, is Ranking the Animated Films of 2000

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Told you I had a plan for these other films. Here I will list/breifly talk about films that can’t go in the main ranking. Mostly Direct to Video Films and Forgein Films that didn’t get a U.S./UK Theatrical release.

I won’t list every single one of those, just the important ones or ones I have seen. Wikpiedia has the full list if you wanna know of any I missed. Anyway, here we go.

Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman: I’ve somehow never seen any fully animated Chipmunks stuff but I’m just gonna assume this and the Frankenstein one are better than the live action movies.

An American Tail 4: Yes, they made 2 direct to video American Tail movies. I’ve never seen any of them so I can’t comment.

Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker: I would have watched this one but I haven’t seen the series and I feel like I should get to that first. I’m sure it’s good though.

An Extremely Goofy Movie: Ah yes, Direct to video Disney sequels. This is one of the better ones. Nothing great but like the first Goofy movie, it’s enjoyable with some decent heart.

Joseph King of Dreams: This is notable for being the Direct to Video Dreamworks movie. It serves as a Prequel to Prince of Egypt, but the only connection is it being a Bible movie.

I watched and it’s…fine. Nothing wrong with it but nothing quite sticks out, and it’s too short. I’d call it Decent enough but you’re not missing anything if you skip it.

Land Before Time 7: I’m not putting any of the others. Just reminding you of that dark age where every year had one of these things.

Little Mermaid 2: I watched this one out of boredom and it did not solve that problem. Pretty typical Disney sequel that’s a lesser version of the first one. It has it’s okay parts though, I guess.

Scobby Doo and the Alien Invaders: Oh hey another major Direct to Video franchise. Won’t bother watching all of them but I have seen this one before and it’s one of the good ones. If only for the random but also sweet romance with Shaggy and a girl whose name I forget. I enjoyed it.

Titanic the Legend Goes on: Yes, this amazing film came out in 2000. It’s the rapping dog one so of course it’s fantastic. 10/10.

Now onto the ranking, starting with..

Digimon The Movie:

…Yep. This is one of the movies that made me dread doing this because I am the exact wrong person to talk about this movie. I’m not versed in anime to begin with and I sure as hell know nothing about Digimon.

But this got a wide release in theaters, so people like me pretty much have to watch it, as it being in theaters rather than going straight to video means they think this is good enough for Non-Fans.

It is not. Fox saw the Box Office of the Pokemon movies and wanted to do similar stuff for Digimon. But it didn’t have a real movie in Japan, just a few mini movies. So they just took those movies and smashed them all together.

It’s as coherent as it sounds. The thing with this movie is that if I was a fan of the show, I would know what’s going on and even get some enjoyment out of some parts.

Hell, even as it is I will say the animation is pretty decent at times, there’s some cute moments and I do like the use of the Digmon theme even if it’s used too much. The Digi Rap though is…ugh.

But since I didn’t watch the show, I had no idea what’s going on. It just thrusts you into the “Story” and expects you to follow along. It has narration to try to explain everything but I somehow became even more lost.

The start of this movie is being cluttered as it tries really hard to get you into it but it fails. It does calm down from there but it’s still messy. I don’t care about anyone and I barely remember what happens even though I JUST watched it when I wrote this.

I do like some of the ideas here and there like the whole virus thing, and some of the fights are decent I suppose. Plus, it is harmless on it’s own. It’s just that it’s easy to see that this was made to cash in on the Pokemon movies, especially with the butchered dub.

The actual voice acting is fine I guess but the dialogue is often bad. Oh and there’s a modern soundtrack because early 2000’s. Amusingly, one of the songs is All Star.

That’ll certainly never be in an animated movie again, right?

Overall, Digimon the Movie is a boring and confusing mess for non fans but on it’s own as it’s moments and is harmless. Fans still won’t like it due to how butchered it is but they will get more out of it.

But for me, it’s a mess that didn’t have a ton to offer, but I’ve seen much worse with this kind of Studio movie. It’s somewhat bad but I just can’t hate it as much as I would have if I didn’t know what this really was.

So yeah, easily the weakest animated film of 2000, being the only truly bad one. Not the worst, but still a Digi-Disaster.

Dinosaur:

And we have the first of the ones we went into in the Disney Canon 2000’s post and the reason I delayed this. I stand by what I said: This is a noble effort with some great moments but overall it’s just boring.

I see why it has a following but it wasn’t totally my thing. It has a bit more merit to than the next move but I was a bit too bored for me to put it much higher. Sorry.

But hey, it’s once again still way better than Walking with Dinosaurs.

Pokemon the Movie 2000:

Time to talk about another franchise I’ve never spoken about before. I actually did somewhat grow up with a bit of Pokemon, but only like a fraction of the first Season of the Anime and the first and third movies.

And it’s been well over a decade since I’ve seen any of it so my Poke knowledge is limited to what I recall and what I’ve learned from internet reviewers. For some reason I never watched this one as a kid so I had no idea what to expect from this movie.

You could say this belongs belong Dinosaur as this movie technically isn’t good…but I honestly enjoy it somewhat. Don’t get me wrong, the writing is a bit weak and it’s overall kinda forgettable but in the moment, it can be somewhat enjoyable.

The story is intentionally kept somewhat simple so it can be just a vehicle for a lot of action/chase scenes. That of course leads to flaws, but at least makes the more mostly exciting.

Plus, there are some nice moments near the end. Plus some funny ones like the random ending joke with Team Rocket. Speaking of which, they actually save the day in this one…even if no one saw it but us.

But yeah, that writing has problems. There’s things brought up and dropped, like some ship teasing stuff. They also try to make a deal out Ash’s Mom but she drops in at the end and acts like it was more important than it was.

The villain is really lame. Besides being bland, he’s barely in the movie especially in the 2nd half. What a ever present threat. There’s also a Chosen One story with Ash that’s pretty cliche, but not terrible.

So yeah, there’s no shortage of things to pick apart but on a personal level, I only sometimes got annoyed or bored. Most of the action is enjoyable and there are nice moments.

The animation isn’t bumped up too much from the show but it gets the job too. Overall, it’s pretty flawed with some weak writing but it’s nature makes it’s fun to watch at times.

It’s pretty average when you put these pros and cons together. Consider it a high Average with a slice of guilty pleasure. There’s 3 more theatrical Pokemon that are no doubt better, but for this one, it’s…fine.

If you can get past the flaws, it has it’s moments but you’re not missing anything if you skip it.

Titan A.E:

I’ve been talking about animation on this blog since the start, and yet I somehow haven’t discussed a Don Bluth, until now. That’s mostly because his movies have been talked about a lot by others….and I kinda hadn’t seen that many until recently.

I’m working on fixing that and of course I had to watch what is currently still his final film. He didn’t come up with the idea with this one, as the script was done by other people (one of those peiople being Joss freaking Whedon of all people), which explains why it’s the least Bluth-y Don Bluth film.

This bombed upon its release but has since gained a strong cult following, so I was really looking forward to checking out. …But I’d have to agree with the people who were more lukewarm to it.

I’d put it on the Decent range but in the “Eh, it’s okay” side of Decent. It’s a noble effort for the most part, and nothing is ever too painful in the least.

For the main positives, the 2D animation is decently done, there’s some decent ideas, some nice moments and some decent work, especially from Nathan Lane.

Certain aspects of the story are interesting, like how the lead’s backstory for example. I do like when the charecters are allowed to breathe a bit. However, I found a fair amount of this to be just kinda eh.

Most of it is rather generic, including the charecters who are mostly uninteresting which sadly does include the leads. Also there’s a force romance because of course there is.

And there’s TWO twist villains for the price of one! One is cliche but somewhat interesting at least and the other was an amusing character who has such a lame payoff that I question why he was even in here.

And while the main animation is good, the CGI has…not aged well to put it nicely. Some of it is okay and to be fair, Fox did force some time limits so it wasn’t all totally polish. But it still doesn’t look as good as it likely did back in 2000.

I’m sounding kinda negative but that’s because I do think it could have been better in these areas. The story is at least simply enough to be easily understood, and the characters can at least be charming at times.

There was plenty of effort put into this and it does show. But it’s also not surprising that the script went through various writers. I do however appluad them for trying to make a more serious family film than what was the norm at the time.

It’s a fine movie for what it is and I get why it has a cult audience. I wish I was more a part of it, but it’s still perfectly fine given how much worse it could have been. But I’ll stick with some of Bluth’s better work, as well as Treasure Planet which was compared to this cuz yeah, that did some of this stuff a lot better.

A noble effort, I just wish I liked it more.

(Final note, some aspects such as the planets were done by Blue Sky. Yes, THAT Blue Sky)

The Tigger Movie:

I’ve now talked about 3 Winnie the Pooh movies so at this point you get what I think are the pros and cons of them are. And they pretty continue here, so I don’t’ have to say too much.

The interesting thing about this one is that it’s the most focused one. The others, even Piglet’s Big Movie to some extent, are loose in their structure and don’t strive to be anything deeper.

That works well but it’s nice to see this one do something a tad different. It was the first real Pooh movie since the 70’s so it did have something to prove.

It does have that loose-ness at times and you can tell this was going to be Direct to Video at some point before Eisner stepped in. But I see why he made the choice, it can be cinematic at times, especially the 3rd act.

This goes into how Tigger feels about being the “only one” and it actually gets decently emotional. He’s likable here and some can relate to feeling alone he does here.

Of course I knew how it would all end but it was still nicely done. I also like his friendship with Roo, it was really cute. Like the other Pooh movies, this runs on charm but it has an extra bit of depth that makes it just a bit more satisfying.

The emotional moments hit their mark , and the animation is again pretty decent as are the songs. I honestly enjoyed the ones here more the ones in Piglet, but not as much as the ones in the 2011 movie.

Overall, The Tigger Movie is a solid start to the “Modern” Pooh Films, being as sweet as ever with just a bit more to it. Somewhat padded at times, but otherwise a pretty cute and sweet movie. Not much more that needs to be said.

Fantasia 2000:

Disney film I already covered #2. The short version is that it mostly serves as a worthy follow up with some great moments but it’s held by back by the same flaws, plus some painful Celebrity appearances.

I has more flaws than Tigger but it hits higher highs for me so there you go. Still worth checking out for fans of the first one.

The Road to El Dorado/The Emperor’s New Groove:

Dreamworks a thon #3: The Road to El Dorado

Yes, we have a tie here. I wasn’t sure which one was better so I decided to tie them. Both movies share the same good qualities and have similar issues…and I already talked about both.,

Which would mean 3 sections in a row of films I covered already. So instead I’m taking them out in one go, woo hoo. Anyway, I talked about this as part of my failed Dreamworks-a-Thon so the link will take you to further thoughts.

As long as you can tolerate the lack of capitalization, yikes. This will focus more on Dorado since I JUST talked about New Groove and don’t have the distance I do with this one.

Watching it again, I like it as much as I said 5 years ago although I do have some minor petty issues now that I’m more critical. I do think the pacing can be off at times, sometimes dragging after some really energetic stretches.

The ending could have been better too. Not too much comes of the Tulio/Chell thing and the villain defeat is kind of lame. Not sure Jim Cummings’ character needed to come back in the story either. Those are petty issues but I do think it could have been just a bit better, especially how how good some parts are.

Oddly enough, one of the directors Will Finn would agree with me, although his thoughts are harsher than mine. I feel bad for him as he went to Disney after jumping the Dreamworks ship, and what film did Disney put him on? Home on the Range. Ouch.

Anyway, as you recall it;’s the same with Emperor’s New Groove. Very enjoyable film with some flaws with certain cliches and weak minor bits that aren’t too big a deal but simply bug me a little. They are also alike since they are buddy-comedies in the pre-colonial Latin America area.

I like both about the same as they are both refreshing for this area, for both studios. El Dorado really nails the two leads as they each well written with great chemistry. New Groove has a lovable jerk and a pair of great villains. They both have high points that make them worth watching.

Their flaws are also on par. Dorado’s flaws are more about the structure while New Groove simply used certain tropes I’ve grown a bit sick of. So you could say that one is technically better while certain parts of El Dorado such as the leads impress me a bit more.

Either way, both are very enjoyable films that offered something a bit different compared to other animated films at the time. They are on the same level of pretty high Good’s that I can see others loving me.

So yeah, both are good for a watch of re-watch, and even with their flaws, you can have some good fun with them.

Chicken Run:

For some dumb reasonswhen I tried the Dreamworks-A-Thon project, I didn’t count the Aardman films so I skipped this film. It would have saved me some time here but ah well, it’s time to finally discuss this one.

This is another one of those movies I appreciate a lot more than when I first watched it a few years ago. I will admit I don’t totally love it to the extent some people do, as I think it’s just really good rather than fantastic but I get why some see it that way.

This is a movie that’s all about the execution. The story is a fairly simple one and even has some cliches like the liar revealed. But it manages to be executed in a way that makes it really engaging.

I mostly give credit to Peter Lord and Nick Park’s direction. They take this silly concept of a prison escape movie with Chickens, and take it very seriously but in a way that doesn’t make it boring.

It’s an example of a family film that manages to be rather dark in both look and tone while balancing it with the comedy. Antz could learn some lessons from this one.

John Powell and Harry Gregson-Williams’s excellent score also really adds to it. I will say it oddly works better as a dramatic prison break film than as a comedy. Sure, it’s funny but it’s more amusing than full on hilarious like other animated comedies.

But that’s only a testament to how well done this movie is. The production values are quite solid, as they really show you the scale. The animation itself is quality stuff but it’s the the environments that shine here.,

My main complaint is the use of some cliches and some rushed pacing at points. (It’s only 79 minutes without credits). Not a big issue, it just prevents it from being as amazing as some people view it.

The liar part is pulled off mostly better than in most movies since the film is at least mostly well written enough for it to not linger on this cliche too much. Hell, it even does the Split Up thing very well, simply with the how the events play out.

Oh and of course, the characters are all good, especially Ginger as she as a lead that is easy to root for. And this was frankly the role Mel Gibson was born to play.

Overall, Chicken Run isn’t quite a masterpiece but is a very good movie that’s surprisingly well directed being quite intense with likable characters and great animation.

I really enjoyed for how it again did something different and pulled it off. We’ll see how the other Aardman films fare but this was a solid debut for me.

And my favorite Animated film of 2000 is…

Rugrats in Paris:

..Yeah, this seems like an choice for the top pick. But first, I should mentioned that I did review this one way back in 2011 but Blogger Reviews don’t count. But you can google it if you’re interested.

This is coming from a fan of the series who grew up with this movie but even on it’s own, I think this works very well as an animated feature. While the first film is also quite good, it does have too much padding at times.

This one is a lot more focused. There is padding but much less and some stuff that seems like padding actually adds to the story or is at least not too bad. The story is a bit complicated but it’s written in a way that makes it easy to follow.

Mostly focus everything does connect to something, and it also has a strong lead with Chuckie. He has a good arc with both the whole “wanting a Mom” thing learning to be a bit braver.

And of course, it’s emotional. I’m not sure why they made films based on Rugrats into these emotional experiences but they did and it’s done well in both of the good ones. Special mention goes to that scene before the climax with Chuckie feeling bad about all this.

Speaking of the climax, it’s silly for a movie like this but damn if it isn’t amazing. Also, when I last reviewed this I don’t think mentioned Susan Sarandon’s performance as Coco is a shame because she makes for a really enjoyable villain.

For a family film based on a Nicktoon, this movie, along with this one has some surprisingly good writing with how it uses arcs which makes the great moments even better.

Yes, some dumb parts make it in even there but especially compared to the first one, I don’t have much to complain about. It’s an example of film makers going above and beyond what was needed since they could have easily made a dumb kids movie but both this and the first one managed to be enjoyable and surprisingly emotional.

Neither is amazing per say but this one especially is honestly kinda great. It’s an example of how to make a movie based on a cartoon and on it’s own it’s a good family film that most can enjoy, even with it’s dumb moments here and there.

I did enjoy some of these movies on here but this one simply gave me the best experience. Even if I separate my nostalgia, it’s a very solid film that gave me quite the good feeling at the end.

You can argue a couple of these are better and I get that, I just personally got more out of this one. And that is why Rugrats in Paris is my favorite animated film of 2000.

And those were the animated films of 2000. Overall, this was actually a fine year to start. There some decent variety and we had some solid movies along with a couple I think highly of and only one truly bad one.

That said, you can see that quite didn’t do too well, and it was usually the more out there ones. This is something that will become a bigger next year. But for now, I would call this a decent year animation.

Hope you enjoyed the first part of this project. There will be about 2 posts for this one per month starting in April. This will make it so this ends in November or so, I didn’t want this to go on forever after all.

I wrote both and the 2001 one in advance so that gives me time to jump into watching the 2003 movies next week, so yeah I have this planned out pretty compared to usually.

It’s almost like doing it this way is easier or something. Anyway, tell me how you would rank these movies and have a nice day.

See ya.