Max Steel

Max_Steel_poster

Max Boredom

 

Hello, Spongey here.

After…the interesting last review, where I looked at a famous old film, I think it’s time to go back my roots?: Crappy recent movies! While I watched as many hated 2016 films as possible for my worst list, I did leave some unseen because they weren’t on DVD yet.

So for this month, I wanted to choose from two example of that which had finally come out for my viewing “pleasure”. I teased Collateral Beauty because it seemed funnier to tease, but I did intent to watch both.

Collateral Beauty was…weird for me. I should review it, as it really manipulative, and has the main characters “friends” do awful acts even the It’s Always Sunny cast would find cruel. It also has weird pacing and structure at times.

However, a fair amount was just kind of eh, without much to comment on. Some of the scenes with Will can be seen as…fine, if you don’t know the context. The acting is also good, at least as good as it can be.

The movie was certainly not good, but it would just be odd to review for me, and it wasn’t bad ENOUGH all the time. Thankfully, my other choice did give plenty to rip into so here we are. At least the felt like a completed film with a reason to exist.

But first a brief backstory. Max Steel is a Mattel toyline that had a couple cartoons, most notably the 2013 one, which I had never heard of or looked into this movie came out. Clearly it had some kind of fanbase to last long enough to be rebooted but I wouldn’t say it’s super popular, just a thing people like.

I’m sure it’s fine but I’m sure no one was asking for a movie. But hey, I’ve liked movies based on things I’ve never heard of, or had little knowledge of. But it’s clear they had no intention of making this for the fans of the franchise.

They gave it a measly (by Hollywood standards) budget and plopped it out in October of 2016, only a couple months after releasing the trailer. They gave it a somewhat small release with very little advertising. The result? Bomb horrible.

The Critic Reaction was…um…well…it has a whopping ZERO on Rotten Tomatoes, with no Census. That’s right, no one even wanted to review this thing. That’s said. The few people who saw it hated it and I can’t exactly blame them.

I have seen worse, hell it wouldn’t crack my 2016 bottom 5, but it would be in the Dis Honorable Mentions somewhere. It’s a mixed of dullness and bad writing that makes it pretty bad.

It has it’s slow parts, but I thought it was mostly worth reviewing, so here we are. First off, it was filmed in 2014 bcause of sort it sat on a shelf. It can amazing movies like A Thousand Words and Monster Trucks!

The director Sorority Row, because naturally you want a horor director for a Merchandise Driven Superhero film. The writer is more fitting, as he tons of Superhero credits like Thor 2 and being a head writer on Avengers Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.

I think there was some studio interference for the movie to turn out like it did. But let’s see why this thing fails to the max.

This, is Max Steel

After a whopping 55 seconds of logos, the movie opens with our main character Max as he is moving into a new house. You can from this first scene how dull he’s going to be, with he shows little emotion here. Can’t quite blame the acting, given how weak the writing is to begin with. Well, aside from the fact he looks too old to be a high schooler.

(Still better than Monster Trucks in that regard I suppose)

They clumsily explain that he’s moved a lot, and his Mom is played by Maria Bello. I’d complain but she’s easily the best part of this movie. She’s actually trying at least. He’s hanging around when he notices he can mess with technology with his hand.

This is meant to be just a quick little thing before the title and they drop it for a bit, so I guess I can’t complain too much here. I can however make a joke about how right after the title, he’s in the bathroom with his shirt off.

Did I mention Taylor Lautner was supposed to be in this at first?

This is the next morning and leaves and bumps into the love interest. He acts loopy since he just had a little spill on his bike.

Meet me after school, okay?”

.Why? He’s never seen you in his life. You want to actually help him instead of saying that and just leaving? Okay then.

He walks into school late (a cliché that never happens in real life, no matter how often you see it) and we find out though more bad dialogue that he’s the son of some remarkable scientist person. He’s dead now so way to open some wounds, teacher guy.

After school he does meet up with the girl and just goes with her. I’m confused, they clearly set up this being his first day of school and she just randomly wanted him to meet her after school for no real reason?

She fixes up his bike but she never said “Hey, I can mix your bike”, she was just needlessly cryptic and Max said nothing because he’s dull and emotionless. You know a movie is bad when it can’t get a basic scene like this wrong.

He goes home and sees his Mom talking to a guy named Miles, who worked with his Dad. They partake in a boring dinner scene and they randomly cut between this and a scene of this big accident happening at this…Science…Place. They don’t have one scene than another, they put them together in this big mess.

With how dull the dinner scene is, it’s very daring when something mildly interesting happens in the middle of it. It’s like they knew the movie was boring and tried to wake me up. The dumb thing important information is revealed here, like that Miles was there the night of the accident that killed his father, but they still cut to this other crap.

I’m just saying it’s jarring and badly edited.

Thankfully, it ends and Max goes to Google…with his shirt off. Again, Taylor Lautner had this role at one point. He wants to know more about the accident but he is interrupted by his glowing hand. Don’t you hate it when that happens?

The next day he screws around with these powers which more or less do whatever the plot demands, but it’s mostly connected to technology and such. At Lunch, his powers go a bit crazy and make the vending machine spew out soda, and the students just swipe them without questioning it.

To be fair, that’s exactly what I would do.

Later, he google “My fingers emit liquid energy”. Kinky. Then he googles “What am I????????”. He does while showcasing no emotion whatsoever. Have you find a big problem with this movie yet? Because I see nothing wrong here, clearly.

Max talks to Mom and asks for more information what Dad but she says it’s complicated and he might not be ready. That will just make him more curious and get him into this big “Adventure”, good going.

The next day, he meets with the girl as they have forced “chemistry”.

You haven’t hooked up with any cliques, but you’re friendly with everyone. You don’t attract a lot of attention, but you talk just enough so that people don’t think you’re weird.”

We have not seen any of things. We’ve had like two small scenes in school and I could not see evidence of any of that. Either some scenes were cut or this is a horrible case of telling and not showing.

He has a little freakout with his powers that I can’t really explain but then we cut to him waking up at home, so I guess that scene didn’t matter. Cool.

When he wakes up, he finds a small flying robot dude in his room. ….Yep. And he talks. And he’s annoying. It’s hard to describe why he’s annoying, I just dislike his voice. His dialogue isn’t much better but it’s not like, obviously bad like other annoying sidekicks.

I can say that he pops in so suddenly, it feels like there’s no build up when there kind of was. His name is Steel and we immediately get into ET type hijnks when Mom comes up. There’s not a ton more of it but there is sadly more of it. Oh, and they reference ET directly right after to make it even more subtle.

I also love how I don’t care about the lead because he’s so boring before this happens, so I couldn’t give less of a crap about any of this. Plus, as I said, Steel is already annoying.

Steel explains that he has to be around to suck up Max’s excess energy so he doesn’t explode. This is a neat idea but poorly explained. They spot random suscopus guys with guns and run off and Max says they must go somewhere safe where they “wouldn’t attack us”

So to school, which is full of kids. GENUIS!

I know that want more “hide the alien” crap but this is so stupid. It’s just a bad excuse for lame “comedy” where Steel gets more annoying. It’s even pointless as we don’t get more school stuff with Steel after these small scenes.

Seems like that girl creature has put out some kind of mind control virus on you. We should probably kill her”

Our hero’s sidekick, ladies and gentlemen!

It just sucks”

What?”

You’re right, this movie does suck.

They attempt to have a serious moment with the two but right after that one joke, it’s a bit /Mood Whiplash-y. There actually is one funny moment when they go to this one place and Steel says they have to obey a Restricted sign because it’s in ALL CAPS.

It’s in all caps, looks pretty serious”

Doesn’t make up for the rest of the “Comedy” with him but whatever. They are at this vagabonded factory like place. They drop their quest for a moment to mess around as they find out they have more cool powers when they work together.

After enough messing around, they combine to create that thing on the poster. They don’t actually say Max Steel in the movie because it’s trying to be a “dark and edgy”. With that title. Yeah.

A bit later, some creepy looking vans appear and they try to run. Max is able to get a ride from Sofia which leads to more award-ness from them. They talk about naming his bike because why not. How did we get from a “Tense” chase, to awkward romance humor?

Max and Sofia goes to Miles’ so Max can sk him what he knows about his father’s death. He doesn’t say that much a freak out makes Max leave, making this scene almost pointless. It does have a point though, to show us a creepy shot of Miles that made me call that he’s the villain.

Oh, like you care about spoilers.

Speaking of the freak out, sometimes Max gets random flashes that show him that accident that killed his Dad and he’s been finding out bits and places, like how Steel was there but Steel doesn’t recall anything. This should be interesting but it just…isn’t.

Anyway, he runs out a storm starts up and eventually Steel conventionally shows up so they can form Max Steel. A bad guy that Steel alluded to earlier pops up and they gotta fight it. By the way, Max can see out of the suit via Iron Man Rip off Technology!

Now that’s shameless.

This first action sequence would be good if we could see anything. Yeah, it’s one of those movies where they the lighting and camera work makes it hard to make out anything, although it’s not AS bad as some other movies I guess.

Go Turbo!”

Insert obvious jokes here.

Max gets a flash that somehow tells him Steel is an “Ultralink” which Steel says are the bad guys and being an idiot, Max gets mad even with Steel saying he”s “not like them”. We’re almost an hour in, so it’s time for the duo to pointlessly breakup over something stupid.

Told you every movie ever did this, and it’s pretty stupid here. If only because I do not give a single crap about either character. One is dull as dirty, and one is annoying. Your characters don’t have to amazingly complex, but we need a reason to care about what’s going on. You also need…good writing, which is not here. At all.

Through a confusing series of events, Max finds out bad guys have taken Mom and calls Miles who reveals he knows of the “Ultralinks” (not the dumbest name ever but close) and that they want Max.

He goes this factory place to find her but Sofia calls her and finds out she’s safe at home. After their call, Mom turns to…these random suspicious looking guys.

Miles Edwards ordered you to kill Steel”

Yes M’am”

I am the largest share holder at N Tech, so the only person you take orders from is me”

When I first saw this, I thought it was about to turn out that she is the villain. But nope, that would actually be amazing. Instead, this bit doesn’t make any sense.

Also, I likely got the company name wrong but I don’t care at this point.

We finally get the full flashback showing how Max’s Dad died. He did an experiment, it went wrong and he died. Also, Miles was behind because he’s evil, what a twist. Yeah, everything about this backstory is very predictable because they more or less telegraphed it or told us this stuff before.

Yawn.

Even the added twist of Dad sacrificing himself is just…eh, because it’s also cliché and I really just don’t care enough for this to matter. Miles shows up in his Power Rangers cosplay and Andy Garcia’s credit, he’s the only member of the cast who is at least trying to have fun. He yells every other line here and it’s…almost amusing.

He wants Max’s energy because….he’s evil, I guess. Also, his dad is an alien making Max a half breed. That part is yet again poorly explained and even the half breed thing is done to death. Honestly, I can forgive any of this is they either explained it more or made the characters and story engaging in the slightest.

He has Max strap himself to this thing to suck up his energy.

That’s too much energy”

At least it’s not Pink.

He forms Max Steel and we get our climax…filmed in a dark and dank place where we can’t see shit. Gripping.

Stealth Mode”

We have stealth mode”

Hooray for pulling things out of our asses. It doesn’t even help as Miles catches him right after. Those guys Mom was with show up but they end up doing jack as Miles takes them out.

You can choose smart, or you can choose dead. I chose smart, your father chose differently”

That line is amazingly bad. Also, no one in this thing chose smart. Max gets the drop on him and gives him too much energy, which makes him explode. That was kinda smart on his part but it feels pretty anti climatic in execution.

Oh, and they try to make us think Steel is dead…for all of 5 seconds. Yay.

Mom shows up.

You totally married an alien?”

STEEL: Hey, what’s wrong with that?

…Too easy.

Sometime later, Mom gives him the whole story and admits she should have told him given there was a chance of him possibly exploding or something. I agree, you’re kind of an idiot that way.

I never suspected Miles”

Because again, you’re an idiot.

It was Miles who suggested we come back..in case the energy manifested in you”

.He willingly took Max to the place where he cold bump into the one thing keeping him from exploding many times in the films, instead of keeping him away. …..I apologize to Mom, he’s the biggest idiot in the movie!

If they exploded the Max exploding thing better, maybe this would make more sense. Why was he only in danger of exploding when he got here, given Max never says anything about going through this before? If the city itself is why, it raises more questions about Mom’s decision.

And how did no one know Steel is alive? He left before the explosion but where did he go? Why did he have no memory? EXPLAIN! OR EXPLAIN BETTER!

She says there are more Ultra links out there and they will come for Max eventually. Can’t be a crappy cash in film without a hook for a sequel that will never happen!

Max goes to Sofia, who the film remembers exists. Yeah, her vanishing before the climax really shows how strong of a character she was. She mattered so little to the overall story that this scene feels tacked on.

Maybe it was good we didn’t kill her”

Too bad we didn’t kill you.

Max forms Max Steel to fly, which they couldn’t do before but I don’t care because roll credits! Yeah yeah rushed endings but at least it’s over. Plus, I’ve seen worse. And thankfully, there’s no mid or post credits scene to further rip off other Superhero movies.

Final Thoughts:

I’ll start with the positives. The effects are decent, and a couple actors like Maria Bello are at least trying. The rest on the other hand, is not only bad but flat out DULL. I apologize if this wasn’t my best, this is a film that’s mostly boring and sometimes did not explain things well.

It was just barely review able with how it got sometimes. This isn’t the worst movie of 2016 but it’s still bad. The main problem is how boring and generic it is. It feels like so many other films of it’s kind, and does nothing that interesting.

It doesn’t help that the lead is incredibly boring as well. He has no personality to speak of, and there’s just no reason to care about him. The rest are just as dull, from the one dimensional villain, to Steel who is pretty annoying.

In some films the situation itself could save some character issues but there they don’t do anything with the few decent ideas it has. The story goes in every direction you expect and the way it plays it just dull.

And also very stupid. As I said, nothing really makes any sense and they either have no explanations, or explanations that raise too many questions. And the way it’s written makes it so I don’t care to look further into it. So don’t try to explain it to me, I don’t care. (I know I may have missed something but either way it could have been explained better).

The whole thing just reeks of being a cynical cash grab. Any attempts at heart are snuffed out by the weak writing and how dull the whole thing is. It’s fairly typical in it’s problems, and isn’t quite awful, hence why it’s only at 11 as far my Bottom 11 of 2016 goes. (It’s worse than Mother’s Day and Nine Lives, but better than Wild Life and Mr Right0.

So yeah, the movie is a bust. It’s mostly generic and boring, with a few dashes of incompetence to make for a totally weak cinematic experience. It’s not even interesting bad like even Jem is, it’s too boring for that. Just skip it.

Grade: D-

That was…dull, but at least interestingly so. As for next time, I think I should do a kind of movie I haven’t done yet, as I’ve crossed off some other types on the “Every Reviewer must do this” list. I think I know the type, but which one should I do..

Mulan2DVD

.This will be fun.

See ya.

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More Bad Episodes of Cartoons I like

Hello, Spongey here.

In late 2015, I did a list of Bad Episodes of Cartoons I otherwise like. It’s probably one of my favorite projects I’ve ever done. I had to do even more research than usual, even if it took me longer than most projects, which is saying something.

I don’t think why, but it is fun to look at when things I like screw up. After all, you can’t love something if you’re not willing to point it it’s flaws. I’m mostly happy with that list, at least given what I had seen at the time.

However, I obviously wasn’t able to see every episode of a good show, and there were some shows I hadn’t even seen at all at the time. In that post, I said I wouldn’t do a follow up to it since I like to stay positive.

…Yeah, I lied. Okay, I had every intention of keeping that promise…but man in that year and a quarter since doing that post, I’ve found so many more duds. Some tame ones that showed me the varying levels of bad, and some so bad that would have been on the list if I did it back then.

And I figured I may as well share some. Don’t worry, I have another project in mind that should make up for this. I plan to hopefully make this a yearly thing and I had a ton more ideas to put here that couldn’t fit due to being bad enough to discuss but not quite urgently bad, you know?

With that said, none of these episodes would quite in bottom 5 of the original list, although some come veeery close. Actually, about one would but we’ll get there.

This list will be a bit different. I’m not counting them down like before. I wanted to rank them but it was a bit hard so I figured I’d make it easier on myself and instead put this in order of when they aired.

We’ll go from 1994 to 2015 on this. Yeah, nothing from 2016, at least nothing list worthy. That’s really my only rule. I tried mostly having notably bad ones on here, nothing just “weak”. Last time a few slipped on like Bird in the Hoof but this time it’s mostly bad ones. There’s one on here that’s simply “Meh” with all the rest being flat out bad, or at least extremely mediocre.

This is gonna be fun. We’ve got bad episodes of all kind this time, and most of time they make you want to pull your hair out. We have characters being unlikable, Non Humor, and stories that hardly count as stories.

We have 10 Episodes to get through, so let’s see what horror some good show can bring us this time. Oh, and nothing I’ve already covered outside of the lists such as Hot Dawg. So let’s get into it.

This, is More Bad Episodes of Cartoons I Like

Fed Up With Antoine/The Odd Couple [Sonic SATAM]

Season 2, Episode 6a/9a

Writer: Len Jansen

That’s right, we’re starting with a tie, this will be a fun list. Sonic SATAM was a solid show, and one of the better Video Game Cartoons out there, being a more serious take on Sonic that still stays true to it’s roots.

But honestly, I don’t love it as much as some others. It had problems. To be fair, most stem from it being canned after 2 Seasons because good shows being screwed over is not a new thing.

But it still had issues, like how this somewhat serious show still has Urkel as Sonic saying slang no one has ever said. But I can forgive that and some minor things, as the show did improve.

Then there’s Antoine. Now, he’s far from the worst character in a good show (We’ll meet a worse one later), and he’s not awul. He is however, weak. He’s a stereotypical cowardly french guy who didn’t develop that much. He’s only annoying sometimes, and he can be amusing due to Rob Paulsen’s performance but he didn’t do much for me. And as I said, he never really grew. This wasn’t the most development heavy show ever, but he still needed more.

He did get slight spotlight, but it was always played for laughs. One episode in Season 1 had him screw up for dumb reasons but that one had it’s moments at least. Then comes TWO Antoine Episodes in Season 2, as part of the few 11 minute episodes they did. They both failed, especially by the standards of the show.

Let’s take a look, starting with the earlier one, the appropriately titled Fed up with Antoine. We start with Antoine having blown a recent mission but claims he has everything under control. Yeah, right off the bat they are clearly trying to make him as annoying as possible.

Then Sonic tells him he has to get back home alone. And now our hero is a jerk too, great start. But he was joking, so that was pointless. Later, he asks Bunny Rabbot to teach him some Martial Arts because …why not. They didn’t write a good enough transition between the opening and this decision.

He starts training and he claims he’s amazing while Sonic treats him like dirty. Yeah, both sides are incredibly unlikable here. That’s more or less the main problem, but they really go to great lengths to show it.

He runs off and runs into some bikers and ruins their bikes trying his Kung Fu and then they make him their king. And that’s our other problem: The pacing. This show doesn’t work as well in 11 minutes, especially not in this episode. The plot moves as faster Sonic himself and it really ruins the story cohesion.

It’s clear they have plans for him with how they act, so at least they aren’t actually this dumb but it’s made too obvious too. Antoine naturally takes advantage of this to be a jerk right away and Sonic finds himself right away.

Antoine won’t go him because the power is already getting to him and wants Sonic thrown in the Dungeon. They really skipped like 50 steps in doing this plot, if they wanted us to find anyone likable. For one, he was a jerk BEFORE getting the crown.

Come on Sonic, Antoine has his good points”

Besides his head?”

Well yeah. He….has good hair!”

Wow, not even the characters can find anything to like about him. That’s really sad. They find out the bikers are cannibals and after they find that out, we cut to them trying to cook him. Not sure why why needed to go through all this, it’s poorly explained.

Also, I shouldn’t be rooting for the villains.

The Freedom Fighters kick their butts and rescue Antoine. Then we cut to him telling the others later on that he got himself out and is still a jerk.

We should have let them eat him”

The End. Wow, that was a trainwreck. Nothing worked about ti, at all. Everyone’s an asshole, the plot is rushed, and an any attempts to build a story are ruined by the pacing and everyone being a jerk. Also, no one learns anything from this. But more on that after we go through The Odd Couple, which is almost as bad.

Through reasons too contrived to get into, Sonic’s house is destroyed and he must stay with Antoine for awhile. As the title suggests, Sonic is dirty and Antoine is a neat freak. It’s done a well as you can imagine.

Antoine is typical with his neat freak-ness but he switches between being okay with it, as some people just like thing clean. But other times it’s unreasonable for the sake of cheap comedy. He’s also not happy to have Sonic here, because I guess he really hates him. His reaction is that over the top.

While Antoine is uptight, Sonic doesn’t really seem to even attempt to sympathize with him and just makes messes without thinking. Some if it is just normal stuff but other times it’s the kind of thing anyone would be mad at like getting food on his face by accident.

Either way, a lot of it is just too typical to be that funny. All Sonic does is tell him to chill without even really noting his problem. He doesn’t even call Antoine out or anything like that, he seems almost too stupid.

And Sonic sleep runs because why not. This causes Antoine to snap and just go insane and does Sonic (after randomly waking up) help him at all? Nope, he just leaves. What a good friend.

Then a tree crushes Antotine’s house without crushing him somehow. And before that, this is said.

Not only is he totally out of his tree, he lives like a pig”

Oh screw you. And then it just…ends with a tree having falling on Antoine’s house, with him still going crazy. How…hilarious. That wasn’t even a story, it was just a bunch of stuff happening.

Besides being very cliché, both sides are weirdly written. Sonic, in the end, is an inconsiderate jerk and Antoine is kind of understandable but his one joke gets old fast. Most of the time he is going too far with Sonic is a jerk hear so I can only feel bad for Antoine.

In the end, he’s even punished with Sonic getting off scot free. He did go too far but he just wants Sonic to stop being a dirty jerk, that’s not bad enough to deserve a tree falling on his house!

I imagine his portrayal is not great for those with OCD or the like. I don’t mind it being played for Comedy sometimes, but this goes too far and is just badly written ontop of that.

But back to Fed Up. They try to do way too much in the time span, with him learning martial arts, finding the bikers, then going mad from being King and all that. At least the other one fits into 11 minutes, it’s just the jokes that make it fail.

And yes, Fed up is way worse. Odd Couple is not funny and has odd moral problems, but the other one just does everything wrong on every level. Everyone is a jerk all the way through and both sides sucking don’t make the other better, it gives us no one to root for.

This show better than to have jokes like Sally not knowing of anything good about Antoine. Come on, you’re better than that. There is really is no attempt at a real story here, it all becomes a bunch of nonsense at the end.

There’s chances to make a story, but it’s just a bunch of jokes but the bad writing just ruins them. And again, no one is likable but it’s not even at least funny. The length and the fact that it’s over quickly is the only reason I don’t hate it more, because man is it really poor.

Odd Couple is bad but it’s a hair better than this, because it keeps it simpler and has more almost okay moments at least. Fed Up With Antoine is the kind I mess I did not expect from a show like this. It wasn’t perfect but it was usual smarter than this.

There’s not too much else to say. Odd Couple is cliché and dumb and the other one is a borderline non story with unlikable characters. Both episodes give me really no one to root for and are pretty weak.

I can see someone….maybe liking them if they find the antics funny but I sure don’t. Besides a show like this can do better than episodes too reliant on humor, this isn’t SpongeBob. So yeah, this episodes suck and I think they make for a good way to begin our list.

I’m padding this now so let’s wrap it up and move on to the rest. I swear the other sections are longer.

My Sister,My Sitter [The Simpsons]

Season 8, Episode 17

Writer: Dan Greany

Oh, this one is going to be fun. The Simpsons is a show I’ve always wanted to find a bad episode from the classic seasons anyway. I mean, Pre Spongebob had a dud so this show has to have one to.

I rewatched Seasons 1-8 which are generally considered to be the classic era. I’m of that opinion to, 9 and 10 were okay I guess but not quite on the level as before. So I’m sticking with these Seasons for an episode worthy of this list. While some episodes weren’t that great,i didn’t find one too bad until this one in Season 8. I disliked one or two before but this one…oh boy, it’s bad.

Lisa decides to become a Babysitter after getting in to Discount Babysitter’s Club, At first she gets no takes due to her age, but Ned needs a sitter for Rod and Tod because Maude has been held hostage (…Yeah, this episode has it’s moments), and picks Lisa because he’s desperate.

Act 1 isn’t too bad , and is mostly funny. However, it creates a big problem for later. She’s able to take off them pretty well, so Ned recommends her to others and she gets a decent booming business afer that. So yeah, she’s surprisingly decent at this. Sure, we only see her with Rod, Todd, and then Ralph but she also did sitting for Hibbert and others we only hear about, so who knows how those kids are?

One night, Homer and Marge go out and need a sitter. They put Lisa in charge because she has gotten some decent experience under her belt. It’s safe to say they do have a reason for picking her despite her age.

Keep that in mind, it’s very important. Marge made the decision so you know it’s reasonable.

Bart is upset, which is fine. At the moment it’s in tune with his character, even with him showing anger. But right here is where it gets….bad. As soon as they leave, Bart becomes a real pain.

Some of what he does at first is okay, he’s just acting out due to not liking this situation. Then he starts just annoying her only to piss her off, which in turns pisses me off. Trust me, it gets worse and the way things end do not make up for it.

Bart gives Maggie Cofee Ice Cream (That’s a thing? I want some).

I guess that’ll make things more interesting”

It does, but not in a good way. This is at least close to amusing, with how Maggie acts while on Coffee. Bart orders food in her name, and also has an AA meeting be hosted at the house. This is where it really goes downhil. It stops being just innocent and funny, and becomes Bart legitimately being a terrible person.

To add on to it, he calls Krusty for an “Emergency Bachelor Party”, and called an ambulence for an Emergency “Sister-ectomy”. THEN someone shows up saying they got a report saying Lisa spotted a UFO. Now it’s just getting old and each one is less funny.

I didn’t see any UFO

That’s right miss, you didn’t”

Okay, that’s funny.

But seriously, Bart is beyond obnoxious in this episode. I get it, he’s not happy with Lisa as his babysitter, but it’s no excuse to Flander-ize him THIS badly! He’s very much annoying her on purpose and his antics are supposed to be funny but only get more aggravating.

Eventually he fall down some stairs, which is his fault by the way for trying to run away from Lisa, and gets hurt, twisting his arm. Lisa of course wants to get him to the Hospital….but Bart refuses.

I’m going to perserve the evidence until Mom and Dad get home. And you’ll never babysit again!”

That’s right, he gets hurt but refuses to get help so to have Lisa be punished for something that was his fault. Then he tries to hurt himself ON PURPOSE to get her even bigger trouble.

I…j…what?! Up to this point, they at least tried to keep it silly and humorous but this is just…bad, even by Bart standards! Someone hurting themselves to get someone in trouble is not funny, at least not how it’s executed.

This is where Bart becomes irredeemable in this episode. Naturally, his attempts to himself get him knocked out, which serves him right. She calls 911 but is denided dut to Bart’s prnak calls from earlier.

Yep,his silly antics from earlier end up screwing them both over. Just….wow. Lisa tries to call Dr. Hibbert directly but doesn’t want her parents to find about this, as she’ll get in trouble. Okay, this is the first time she does anything that she could be blamed for and I understand her fears….but she doesn’t assume they’ll trust Lisa over Bart, who is…you know, bart?

She even thinks Hibbert will blame her, even though she babysat for him so he knows she’s usually good at Babysitting! But to be fair, this needs to happen for the plot and I can see WHY she’s not thinking logically, so I can barely let it slide.

Instead, she decides to take Bart straight to Dr. Nick. She puts him in wheelbarrow and heads out Nick’s. Thankfully, there’s a wheelbarrow line. Sorry, but your sometimes good jokes aren’t distracting from how bad this all is

The line is full so she tries walking all the way to a real hospital. At one point Bart falls out and goes tumbling down and somehow winds up right next to the Peir where Homer and Marge are at for their thing. How (In)convenient.

Lisa’s chain of humiliation is complete and the payoff isn’t worth the set up as it’s as unfunny and cruel as the rest of it. Hibbert even blames here which is dumb for reasons I mentioned. Lisa doesn’t even try to defend herself because…the episode needs to pin the blame on Lisa without actually trying SOMEHOW!

It’s a cheap way for her to make a mistake. She doesn’t even TRY, only to get cut off or something! I’ll give them that they had her make some mistakes but besides not being enough, it’s still all Bart’s fault.

Sometime later, Bart is healing and apparently just let her take the fall during this time because he’s a horrible jerk.

I’m sorry I was such a jerk last night”

Nope. Way too little, too late. This would mean more if you owned up to it told your parents what really happened! Cute apology but it’s not enough. Not to mention that tiny bit is ALL we get.

Lisa gets calls from Hibbert and Ned, asking her to babysit.

Aren’t you afraid I’ll take drugs and injury your children?”

Yes, that is a concern, but it’s hard to find a sitter”

Roll credits after Ned agrees even after Lisa tells him what happened. Wow, this is an Esoteric Happy Ending if I’ve seen one. Or just, really forced. Remember, they think she did all these awful things to bart, but still hire her because…..reasons.

It’s played for laughs but…no, you don’t end an episode like this with a dumb joke. They at least tried to have a happy ending but it’s so forced and makes no sense. What a crappy way to end a crappy episode.

I ranted on Bart but man is he bad. I get, he doesn’t like Lisa as his babysitter for various reasons but it is never fully explored. He gets angry and that’s it. If he has these deeper reasons some people finding, they should hint at it more.

This falls in the trap a lot of later Simpsons episode do by focusing so much on humor that it makes the story worse. They care more about making gags about Brart being awful that they forgot to treat him like a real character. They attempt to combine comedy and realsim due to the situation but man does it fall compare to most Classic Simpsons episodes.

I like it when they explore Bart and Lisa and further but it fails. They try to make this seem like all Lisa’s fault, showing that she’s in over her head. But remember Act 1, and how it showed her as a good babysitter? And Marge picked her due to her inexpert we saw her get. They had a good reason that we saw evidence for!

For once, showing hurt the story! Act 1 completely makes the point of the episode fall flat. If this was her first time as a sitter for kids, this would be better, as she would really be in over her head. Also, make Marge be reluctant and Homer gets her to agree. As it is, Marge is more at fault than Lisa by the episodes own logic!

Yeah, how come no one is mad at the parents that allowed this to happen?! Sure, she’s over her head due to it being Bart but he’s the one to chose to be a little pain. That would be an issue no matter who was babysitting. Heck, given his nature I bet he is a pain to sitters In general and I think it’s been mentioned at some point.

There’s some good jokes and the little subplot with Homer and Marge is fine but it’s not enough. They barely explore Bart’s side, making him a little terror, and Lisa ends up being blamed for something that’s his fault, with the most insulting happy ending ever.

I can see where this could have worked, it’s a good set up. But man, they botched it and the fact that it came from Classic Simpsons is…sad. This comes close to being like a later episodes, just with slightly better jokes.

Of course, some people do like this one, and I guess that’s fine. But for me, Bart was more annoying than funny, the cruelty was too much and the writing is really weak, with some scenes destroying the point they are making.

It just doesn’t work. Like everything on here, you can like it, I just could not stand it. It proves even the best shows can mess up sometimes. These all do but this more so, of course. Between this and Pinch Sitter, I’m thinking Babysitters don’t always bring out the best in shows…

(Wasn’t even the first lackluster Babysitter episode for this show either)

Arnold Betrays Iggy [Hey Arnold]

Season 3, Episode 10a

Writer: Steve Viksten

This was on the original list for a little while before I found new ones that knocked it down. My other reason at the time was that Mr Enter had covered this one pretty well and I thought I didn’t have much to say, so I put it off, even though it is a tad worse than something like A Bird in the Hoof.

In hindsight, the other excuse was a bit weak. I did some other things to say, mostly due to how the show usually is. So I’m here to correct it and add a few more things. The better or nicer the show is, the more devastating the Dud is and while there’s far worse, this falls under that category.

Everyone has gone into how good and important Hey Arnold was. It told great stories and was great not just for a Nicktoon, but for any kids show in general. But of course nothing is perfect and I figured it’s Dud wouldn’t but this bad, but here we are.

I won’t say as much as with these others since Enter did cover most of it’s flaws, but I’ll still say plenty. One day Arnold finds out that a “cool” kid named Iggy wears bunny pajama’s. Why is he wearing them?

Never explained. I suppose it’s not the biggest deal as some people just like doing silly things like this and don’t have a real reason but they really could have gotten that across better. Arnold, being who he is, promises not to tell.

And he doesn’t…but Sid and Stinky pry enough to find out. Sort of. When they mention Iggy, Arnold laughs and mentions it relates to what happened at Iggy’s house. Yeah, Arnold, maybe it’s not a good idea to mention that part.

It was just something he was wearing”

…You’re an idiot.

It wasn’t like he was wearing bunny pajamas or something”

…How oddly specific of a guess, Sid. This is beyond contrived. Because of Arnold’s reaction, they figure that out but Arnold still didn’t quite say that. You know, Arnold does have himself to blame for saying too much, like that was wearing something that was funny but I can forgive that vs what happens next.

Because they are assholes, Sid and Stinky tell everyone Iggy’s secret. Iggy is naturally mad, even when Arnold swears he didn’t actually say anything. The small part of this that Arnold did was clearly to make it so he wasn’t totally innocent but they never address this so it’s kind of pointless.

Iggy stops talking to Arnold tries to make it up to him by apologizing and giving him chocolates. It doesn’t work. Then it transitions to months later as he is still mad. Okay, this is getting silly. Look, I get why he’s mad but he looks like an asshole when he refuses to hear Arnold out at all.

Arnold offers to do his chores for a whole week to earn his forgive-ness and he does so. Yeah, this doesn’t look like Iggy is taking advantage of him at all. Especially since even after that, he doesn’t forgive him.

They do finally strike a deal: Arnold shall wear Bunny Pajamas’s,…in public….with a red carpet and news people….Wow, SLOWEST NEWS DAY EVER. Also, Grandpa says he’s gonna take pictures of this because he’s an asshole now.

Oh, and by the wearing, Bunny Pajama’s isn’t as funny as they keep thinking it is. I get the kids finding it funny, not so much the adult. It’s at this point where Sid and Stink FINALLY realize this is mostly their fault and mention this to each other in front of Iggy. Even this part is contrived!

.And the two still say they are taking pictures and aren’t doing anything to fix their mistake. Wow, you guys are assholes.

It’s too late anything as Arnold comes out and is embarrassed. This scene would be a lot more effective if you know, everything else wasn’t so botched. Iggy feels bad at the whole situation….but Arnold is giving him the cold shoulder.

The end. …Wait, what? That’s right, it ends on a Downer note, with Arnold being embarrassed, Iggy realizing his mistake but Arnold being an asshole about it because….irony. I can almost see what they were going for, it’s a “ha ha, the roles are reversed” ending but it fails because how they screwed up everything else.

It would be refreshing to have Arnold get mad at someone, but not with how it’s done. The main issue with this episode is that characters go to extremes too quickly. Sid and Stinky are assholes who pry and even when they realize their mistake,do nothing, the kids mock him for waaaaaay too long and Iggy refuses to forgive Arnold for too long and so on.

Plus, Sid and Stinky get no punishment, but Iggy does. Sure, Iggy was a jerk but at least he had a reason, those two not so much. And the ending is just insulting and a poor attempt at some dumb downer ending.

It’s not the worst, but due to the focus on the plot, nothing really interesting or funny happens. The only time I laughed was a scene with Grandpa earlier, maybe. This is clearly a “serious’ episode but the story sucks so that fails.

I do find it odd that Gerald wasn’t in this one, by the way.

Speaking of odd, the writer of this episode is mostly known for writing well…a ton of episodes, since he wrote more than any other writer on the show. This includes classics like Arnold’s Christmas and Helga on the Couch!

To be fair, when you write 65 episodes, you’re gonna screw up. But still, I don’t see how this episode could waste any more great people I like.

1111m

  1. stand corrected. ..Really?!

But yeah, this one’s bad. Far from the worst on this list, but everyone is unlikable, the story is very contrived and the ending is stupid. This is the kind of episode that just looks bad on the list of episodes, with it’s insulting nature.

So there, I covered it. It wouldn’t be on the list now with all the new additions but at the time, it should have been there. Sorry.

By the way, this episode, with it’s character derailment and insulting ending, is easily the best episode on here. Yeah

Operation L.I.Z.Z.I.E. [Codename Kids Next Door]

Season 1, Episode 7b

Writers: Mr Warburton, and Mo Willaims

I was surprised at how well this show held upon re-watch. It used it’s creative premise very well and managed to work for adults despite being about fighting adults. I’ll go into more detail on this show in a more positive way (hint hint) but in short, it was pretty good.

Some flaws held it back though. Sometimes they would ruin a plot with a dumb joke, and Numbah 4 could be too much of a butt monkey. But then there’s my biggest problem with this show…Lizzie.

If I don’t care for Ronaldo that much then I full on dislike Lizzie. At least he improved and hasn’t been bad in awhile. (Yes, this was written after Rocknaldo aired. I stand by what i said). I’d explain why I dislike Lizzie but reviewing this episode will show why….as it was her debut.

It’s a bad first impression. Let’s dig it!

At a Carnival, the other operatives see Nigel with a girl named Lizzie and being kids, they mock him for having a girlfriend. Yes, they establish that they were flat out together already but we never see really why he liked her to begin with. Trust me,this is a problem.

I can let the mocking slide since they are kids, as well as Nigel being embarrassed for the same reason. I get why Lizzie may be upset over Nigel denying that they are going out in front of his friends but she immediately starts to lose me when she gets mad and pushes him to the ground.

For the moment I see why she’s mad and such but as you can see, it’ll go too far. The next day, Lizzie claims she’s over it and gives him a gift: A strange looking helmet that doesn’t look suspicious at all. He puts it on and turns to leave…but she takes out a remote and fiddles with it, and suddenly Nigel wants to go with Lizzie rather than the comic shop with 2 and 4.

Yeah, spoilers, turns out this is helmet that can control people. And any small bit of humanity Lizzie has goes right out the window. It’s bad enough she pulls this crap, but the real problem is how the mind control works.

It’s hard to describe but Lizzie does a thing and Nigel does what she wants, as you’d expect, but it’s shown in a really unsettling way. It’s actually quite freaky how he says stuff like “I’m going with Lizzie”. He’s in clear discomfort as he does, and him being controlled is not smooth like in most shows.

It’s not even really played for laughs, and it’s not funny because of that. This is one of those things that becomes worse later. Also, I get why Numbah 4 doesn’t find this odd, but isn’t 2 supposed to be smart?

He at least finds it odd, as he tells the girls about it and it turns out it is a Boyfriend Helmet. A Device that is legally sold which does all that.

They sell these things?!”

I agree, if it was 2×4 Technology, I’d get it but this is an actually thing that is sold legally? They say it’s not cheap and Lizzie doesn’t really look like the rich type. Oh, and the effects become permanent over time, which I really hope Lizzie didn’t know about.

They figure out where Nigel and Lizzie are at, and while there, we get this

Before we know it, we’ll be going steady, then we’ll get engaged, and then we’ll get married! And you won’t ever see your stupid friends ever ever again!”

This isn’t her big crossing the line moment, but holy crud. He protests and she uses the helmet again and this scene just got really disturbing and not funny at all. I don’t even think they’re trying to be funny which is fine until the ending, oh boy.

The other operatives show up and Lizzie forces him to fight them. Yeah, this is where she crosses the line. To recap, she uses this creepy helmet to force him to be with her, than forces him to never see his friends again, then makes him fight them!

Gotta say, Lizzie is one of the craziest villains we’ve seen on the show, and that’s saying something.

Long story short, they end up being defeated and then the helmet blows up…after Nigel sees how much the restaurant is charging for their meal. Okay, that’s funny. Finally,an actual joke with the helmet.

Don’t ever use one of those things on me again, Lizzie”

No no no, you tell her to sod off and then have either arrested or highly punished for the horrible crap she did. Does he do that?

NOPE.

…Wanna get some ice cream?”

And they leave, with the other operatives still sitting there in defeat. The End. Oh boy, where do I start? Well, first off, even if this ending and how things play out is played for laughs, it’s really not funny.

What Lizzie was kind of horrible. I repeat: she uses this creepy helmet to force him to be with her, than forces him to never see his friends again, then makes him fight them. That’s flat out villainous behavior and yet she’s forgiven for really no reason.

I’m 100 percent sure she was supposed a villain but for some baffling reason, this happened. My main problem here is that what she does is too disturbing to be that enjoyable, especially with the ending. There’s not that many jokes in this episode in general, so it can’t make up for it’s issues with comedy.

But you know what, I could almost forgive this…if this was Lizzie’s only appearances, or if she appeared again and got better. ….Nope. She showed up and while had some good episodes like CAKED 2 (My favorite Caked Episode, if only for her being great for once), she was mostly still bad.

Not only was she kept as his girlfriend, but she was an annoying nagging girlfriend, which could have been funny in small does but they kept going back to this. Episodes like DATE, LEADER, LUNCH, and especially HOLIDAY had her being pretty bad. Doesn’t help that HOLIDAY also has a stupid misunderstanding plot. Honestly, that one’s almost as bad as this one but this is too much worse for them to be tied.

Heck, even her final appearance had her being bad. They tried a better harder to justify her actions but it just didn’t work out. And then she didn’t appear in the finale. You know where Nigel does a certain thing I’d like to see her reaction to?

The fact that she’s the one who broke up with him is really lame. What the hell does he see in her? Yeah, this makes this episode even worse. It has a bad introduction to a mostly bad character. The fact that she had some okay episodes does keep her from going on my list, bad I still dislike her.

And this episode started it all, with her somehow hooking up with Nigel despite doing some horrible things. This would certainly be on the first list if I saw it then. It’d be somewhere around where Your Ed Here was. What it means for the series is both why it would be that high, and why it wouldn’t quite be higher.

Others are slightly harder to watch and it really is they did with her later that bothers me so much. If this was a one off, I would still dislike it, but I forgive it. Not the case sadly. Still, this is a pretty bad one.

It has a character doing something pretty horrible, and is forgiven in an unfunny joke ending, then goes on to be just as bad in other episodes. This episode and Lizzie in general is a blight on an otherwise pretty dang good show.

Big Bug/Cold Sweat [Code Lyoko]

Season 1 Episode 5/Season 4 Episode 27

Writers: Alan Serluppus (Big Bug), Bruno Regeste and Sophie Decroisette

This tie is the oddest entry on the list. Everything else is an American show but here we have a French Cartoon, with this covering the English dub. And yet no anime, sorry. Code Lyoko is a bit complex to explain but in short, it’s a French show I gave a shot and mostly liked.

It’s far from great, though. Season 1 especially had it’s flaws. There’s quite a bit of filler (Yes, I’m using that word correctly), some episodes feel very bland and while the characters are fine, usually the best episodes work on a story level and the characters just work in it, and on their own they can fail.

I’ve gone into deep detail on DA so go there for more info on the show. But yeah, it could pretty good but man, then episodes dragged it down as all the problems with the show can be found.

We’ll start with Big Bug, but won’t spend too much time since I exhausted a lot of thoughts on DA, so go there for more passion. Still, I can sum things up here too.

http://spongey444.deviantart.com/art/Spongey-s-Notebook-Big-Bug-Cold-Sweat-631108172

PieGuyRulz did a video on how the problems with some episodes can be summed in a word “Frustrating/’ or “Problem” and went into how either can be seen as worse. I bring this up because Big Big sums up a Boring Bad episode perfectly.

Code Lyoko had kind of a problem with a formula. Especially in Season 1, Each Episode has the basic formula of “Xana is screwing stuff up so they go into Lyoko to stop it and deal with some other thing back on Earth”. It could work but other times the Earth stuff wasn’t strong enough to hold the episode, thus making it boring or forgettable.

This episode has that problem but takes it up a notch but having it’s Earth Plot be light and bad on a normal level. Because Sissi the Alpha Bitch (Yes, that’s her name, although not her real name, at least) is being a mild annoyance so they play a prank on her involving Odd’s dog.

Odd is not supposed to have a dog on campus which they somehow forgot and expected Sissi not to notice or care. Already this is contrived as all hell. So Odd gets detention for that which prevents him from going to Lyoko with the others.

This is the only interesting concept in the episode and they did it way better in many other episode later on. Did I mention this was only Episode 5? Also yes, they had Sissi get them in trouble for a different reason than they should, just to make her look worse when really, the others are worse than in her in this one.’

After bland Lyoko stuff (I don’t even remember what Xana did in this one, and I don’t want to bother looking it up), they do the return to the past (don’t ask). Do you think they’ve learned their lesson and won’t do that cruel prank again?

Nope, they just do a worse one which involves one of her lackies, who did nothing wrong in this episode, by the way. It’s done in a way where Sissi doesn’t know they did it. She’ll figure it out at this point but I guess that doesn’t matter.

Yeah, this one is those “Protagonist Centered Morality” situations. Sissi might be slightly annoying but she does nothing worse than usual. I can’t remember what she does in this because it’s just that boring.

But what our “heroes” do is way worse. Both pranks are just kind of cruel and the only punishment is slightly forced and then reversed. The whole situation basically makes all the characters into jerks.

I’m not asking for them to be perfect, but perhaps getting away with petty dumb pranks is a bad thing. But like I said, this one’s problem is being boring. It’s problems aren’t even uniquely bad, I’ve seen worse cruel prank type plots before.

And it’s all the plot amounts to, since the Lyoko stuff doesn’t stand at all. Even If the set up of the plot wasn’t bad, it would still fail because barely anything happens. Doesn’t take too long for Odd to break out and by the end, nothing is learned or really accomplished besides the usual.

Boring Bad Episodes don’t usually bother me that much but this went to great lengths. It has morality problems that aren’t even unique on top of that. Without the actual character/moral problems, I could forgive it being boring bad but here we are.

Some boring bad episodes aren’t even worth talking about but this one is, so…that’s something. Yeah, I’m just stalling because I said most of what I could on the notepage. So let’s focus more on Cold Sweat, which is later in the series. So much later that I thought they were past these problems but here we are.

Odd leaks an embarrassing picture of Yumi because he’s an asshole. Seriously, right off the bat there’s a major character problem. When Yumi comes in he asks Ulrich to cover for him and he says yes….for some reason. He agrees before finding out what Ulrich even did, which should have raised alarm bells for him but nope.

Yumi yells at him but Ulrich keeps his promise…even after finding out what he did. We just started and 2 of the main characters are completely unlikable for no reason. Good going.

‘Why did you do?”

I haven’t the slightest idea”

She doesn’t question further and just leaves. Ugh.

They go to Lyoko to a thing I again don’t care about and Ulrich explains the to the others what happened and they aren’t mad at him…for some reason. After this, the problems slow down as mostly get Lyoko action for a bit, and I will say it’s more interesting and enjoyable than in Big Bug.

It goes on for quite a bit too but at some point Odd and Yumi have downtime and the crappy parts start up again. Yumi wonders why Ulrich did it and he comes up with a bullshit reason rather than telling her the truth. And it’s not the reason that Odd did it, it’s some dumb thing about Ulrich wanting Yumi’s attention.

Oh yeah, pointless ship pandering. The action starts up and we do get a cool climax with a lava monster which spoilers is important to the series kinda. Yep, it’s Mastermind of Disastermind all over again.

Long story short, they do some stuff and go back to Earth, having bumped into a new problem I don’t care about explaining. It’s story arc releated, so it’ll just fly over your head. They head home and Yumi and Ulrich have a “moment” which fails because A, it’s blatant ship pandering and B it’s all based on something false. Not to mention that she should be mad he thought this crap was a good idea. He can get her attention without being an asshole.

Next time, try talking to me instead of doing something so dumb”

Exactly!

And right after, Odd calls Yumi and admits it was all him. Yeah, the transition to Odd feeling bad is nonexistent. And Yumi is really mad about it despite the moment they had.

The next day, Yumi leaks an embarrassing picture of the two as revenge. The episode ends with Ulrich chasing Odd instead of the person who leaked the picture. Plus, he told Odd to tell her! It was before their moment, but still.

So in the end, most of the characters are assholes for no reason. Odd leaks a picture because reasons, Ulrich covers for him because reasons, and despite a moment, Yumi does something bad as petty revenge and everyone is mad at each other. What great friends.

Both episodes have petty revenge being shown as okay, weird. This has more good things than Big Bug as most of the episode is set on Lyoko and only a couple bad things happen there.

But this episode still sucks because nothing about the human side of the plot works. The characters are jerks for no reason and the ending is so stupid. At least in Big Bug the torture happened to an Alpha Bitch, so you can argue it’s not too bad. Here, it’s just so off what they do to each other.

What more can say I about this one it’s own? It’s pretty simple, everyone is a jerk for no reason, or dumb reasons. As for which is worse…eh. The good stuff happens for a longer time in Cold Sweat but it’s problems are bigger.

Yet Cold Sweat at least has interesting problems while Big Big is boring in every way. However, I can almost see why they though the torture to Sissi was a good idea since she is a bitch. I just don’t approve of how they did it.

It’s a tie, both are equally bad when you compare them. Either way, these episodes were huge screw ups. Every problem the show has is found in these episodes and they are just bad.

I suppose Big Bug can get slack for being early in the series, but Cold Sweat was one of the last few, so there’s no excuse. The show did get better and ended on a nice note. And before you ask, I have seen Evolution. My DA has more details but in short….meh.

These would be on the list now, somehow right below LIZZIE. Fairly close but that pissed me off more and did more damage to it’s series, so there you go. Either way, these episodes suck pretty badly.

Neutopia [Futurama]

Season 6, Episode 20

Writer: J. Stewart Burns

We covered one Matt Greoning show, so here’s the other one. Like most people, I love Futurama and I liked the Comedy Central Era too. Now, I haven’t re-watched the whole series so I can’t this is the worst episode, but it’s bad enough to be here.

While the Comedy Central era was still good, it was more prone to bad episodes, this being a prime example. Let’s get into it.

This one doesn’t start too bad. The Planet Express crew must pay their mortgage to keep the building and it’s 11 million dollars. But it doesn’t take long for the seeds of the problem to start. Amy and Leela blame their financial woes on the Men’s dumb ideas.

-you should listen to a woman’s idea for once”

Yep, we’re covering this again. This has …different problems form The Intruder though. It gets more leeway for being more self aware since it is an adult cartoon and spoilers, they ATTEMPT to teach the right lesson.

They come with the idea to become a commercial airline, but the men shut it down in favor of a girlie calendar. Yeah, the men gets pretty badly flanderized in this episode. It’s not so bad now but oh boy.

They can’t do this with only two female employees, so they get a third one: Hermes’ wife. Oh he gets more likable by the second. Then they realize 3 isn’t good enough either, and just go back to the airline idea.

Well, that was pointless. Well, sorta, but we’ll get there. Fry and Hermes are made the main pilots, instead of their actual trained pilot because they have to be sexists as possible for the sake of the story.

Because of Fry’s bottomless stupidity, he falls asleep and they run out of fuel, causing them to crash. It doesn’t long for them to decide to from a society to survive on this seemingly barren planet which naturally becomes another excuse for the genders to bicker.

Notice how the men are acting waaaaay worse than the women here. That’s going to a problem in the end.

Then a rock monster creature pops up because why not, who notices their fighting and how it’s based on gender. His species only has one gender so I guess I’m calling him an it or they. Because even it says it has nothing better to do so, they will do a series of tests to see who is the better genre.

This goes as well as you’d expect. Yeah, you see they will attempt to teach the moral about both genders being equal but you can’t do that one the men as protryed as worse all the way through. So far, the women haven’t done anything really bad or dumb, not even Amy. You know, the kinda dumb one. They don’t take full advantage of the differences between the genders….unless it’s to make lame stereotypes jokes, like how the women immediate know the answer to some of it’s questions like “Name any 12 of the Desperate Housewives”.

I’m not sure how this show usually handles gender dynamics but this episode sure as hell doesn’t do it well at all. Besides, it took long to exploit any flaws of the female gender.

The real test will have them trying to get to the “Cave of Harmony” before the sun gets closer as this planet’s sun can get of burn them alive. Later, both Hermes and his wife sneak to the other side to get something and bump into each other. Then they do it because….sure.

By the way, them both getting this same idea is the first time both genders seem equal at all. Too little to late. They oversleep and wake up in time for the sun to start cooking them, but the rock person saves them.

It turns out this test was supposed to teach them to work together, which of course failed. It figures the only way to resolve this conflict is use his space magic to remove their genders and pretty much neutr them all.

It takes 15 minutes into a 22 minute episode to get to the Neutopia. Wow. It leaves and they just randomly jump into working on fixing their ship. By the way, they can survive in the sun now even them it was cooking Hermes back before because screw consistency.

They actually get things done a lot faster and in general are more efficient.

This place is like a Neutered Utopia, A Neutopia”

Roll credits!

Hermes and his wife have a moment ….and then he remembers what sex is like and demands that the rock monster give their genitals back. It agrees to do this because even though they are happier this way, Hermes wife says humanity isn’t about being happy and yada yada.

I get it, they are doing the moral where differences are good and such….but he brings their genders back right away. That’s right, the titular Neutopia lasted for for less than 5 minutes of a 22 minute episode.

Yeah, the other big problem is the pacing. It wastes time on things that aren’t important and rushes through some interesting ideas. I’m not sure what else they could do with this idea but it gets almost no time to develop at all.

And it’s done even done, as they are accidentally given the wrong gender. Oh great, Rule 63. But before the rock person can fix it, Zap Branigan shows up and kills him out of nowhere.

I got your distress call and came as quickly as I wanted to”

Okay, this episode does have some funny moments.

They go home and the women find it is hard being a man for various reasons I can attest to. But the men are doing pretty well as women.

Now when I say stupid things, guys all laugh and buy me stuff”

You seriously digging that whole deeper when it comes to the gender stuff. Then they remember the foreclosure plot line, as this episode can’t focus on too much at once. They now have many women on staff so they can ….do the calendar.

We do get to see the process, because fuck you. This includes a Naked Farnssworth. …..Can we just end already?! They sell enough of them to get a profit.

Thank god most of our fans are huge perverts”

The another rock alien the other mentioned before shows up to fix their genders, because why not pile on more stuff. And with a small bit with Hermes and his wife, the episode just kinda stops.

I went more detail than with the other ones because I figured doing that gave you a better idea of how much of a mess this one is. As a look at genders, it fails because the men are portrayed as stupid as possible, with women always being smarter. It takes too long for them to be equal

I’m okay with stereotypes jokes if they’re funny but here they just feel so lame and the writing is piss poor. It does too much in one episode and in the end nothing is really developed. Oh, and saying that not having anything that defines you as one of the “two genders” makes you a boring slab certainly raises….unfortunate implications.

The characters are all unlikable for most of it and the bickering is just not fun to watch. There is a happy ending at least but honestly, the only positives I have for this are there are some good jokes and I like the idea of what are trying to do.

But they messed it up big time. The Comedy Central Era had problems but it was never THIS bad! This episode is just a mess with tons of unfortunate implications and it’s just not fun. Another bad blight on a great show.

Starter Pack [Regular Show]

Season 4, Episode 3

Writers: Benton Conner and Hilary Florido

And we have our first of two shows that were on the previous list. In this case, I think,episode is objectively…just as bad as the one I picked. I had not re-watched it until after I did it, and I would have consider it tying them if I had seen it that point.

I mean, this has more I can point to as good,but at least that episode had a point to it. This episode is just…confused. You may recall that Thomas had a rocky history in the series, and this his first real episode after being introduced in Exit 9b.

It did not start him on the best foot. Thomas goes through his initiation where the other workers play playful pranks on him via a fun montage, which is the highlight of the episode. But the next day, Muscle Man keeps pranking him because he thinks his initiation has “just begun”.’

Of course, he goes too far which worries Mordecai and Rigby. However, Thomas keeps telling them he’s fine with it because he feels it’s still in good fun. It’s important to keep everything about the first half in mind.

What Muscle Man does of course starts out harmless enough, but his pranks keep getting worse, like giving him an atomic wedgie via driving the cart. Ouch. Thomas claiming he’s okay with it, is clearly a lie he’s telling himself, because he thinks Muscle Man isn’t being a jerk and doesn’t know how far he can go.

That nuance is very important to mention. Thomas is in over his head here, clearly. Oh, and no one else thinks this is a problem at all. Not even Skips, who laughs at that prank I mentioned. Yes, even Skips is out of character here.

They shrug it off simply because Thomas is okay with it. They do know just how bad Muscle Man gets right? Does no one remember Prankless? Benson just shows him a video on how pranking goes wrong, and Muscle Man doesn’t get the point and thinks the cruel even by his standards pranks are a good idea.

Yeah, if you think he was Flanderized in White Elephant, oh boy. Anyway, they just want Thomas to stand up for himself and decide to help him. They do this by pranking him and telling him Thomas did it.

Not the most effective plan but anything to make the characters seem in the wrong when they are actually aren’t, right? The plan almost works. I say almost because they prank him …but after being told Thomas did it he goes berserk and legitimately tries to kill him.

…The hell?! He’s not exactly the most sane guy, but he never goes THIS far. And all because someone played a small prank on him after he did tons of them? He throws a freaking building on Thomas, and while they reveal that it was them, it’s not before the building crushes his car with him in it.

We just killed Thomas!”

…Something even more anger inducing is about to happen.

We should have left it alone, and now he’s dead because of us”

In a terrible but predictable twist, it turns out Muscle Man and Thomas faked that. Yes, Thomas was in on that and they both made Mordecai and Rigby think he was dead. Do they explain how the hell they planned all this?

Of course not. Muscle Man even just runs off. The episode ends with the two walking off Mom, followed by a dumb joke with Thomas

…Where do I begin with this? Just, wow, this episode is even worse than I thought before. The first problem is that they never explain how they even set this up. They never imply anything. Was this the plan from the start, or did they come up with it later? How did both of them find out about the plan to come up with their counter plan?

You need to at least attempt to explain this, guys. But that’s a small issue compared to the big one: The moral is basically “If you see someone being abused, then don’t interfere because fuck you, that’s why”.

The episode seemed to be building up a “Fight your own battle” moral…but that doesn’t happen. The situation is “resolved” by Thomas cruelly pranking the two along with Muscle Man.

It’s supposed to some sort of comeuppance but that’s hardly a fitting punishment for not letting Thomas deal with it himself. But here’s the thing, Thomas did show signs of not exactly liking it and he knows what it is like to have cruel pranks played on him. So he decides to do that to them but worse for no reason?

That’s the thing, after a couple scenes of him saying he doesn’t mind it, we never go deeper into how he feels? Does he really think this is fine? Why did he go with Muscle Man’s plan? Never explored, as it’s all from Mordeicai and Rigby’s POV.

If we get some insight into how Thomas feels, perhaps the moral could be more justified. And yes, the reveal with Thomas in The Real Thomas might explain things, but i’m fairly sure they didn’t plan it out when they wrote this, and even if they did, that’s dumb. We shouldn’t have to wait 2 more seasons for this episode to make slightly more sense.

It is worth noting that it seemed to slightly backfire on Thomas as his car got trashed and he clearly doesn’t like that. However, what I said doesn’t’ make up for that, and that means the only person who is happy in the end is the person who did the worst stuff!

If the ending to White Elephant was tacked onto this, I would have enjoyed it so much more.

This episode is just confusing. I can’t tell if I should take this moral seriously given the set up or not. If I do, then it’s…problematic, but if I don’t, then they ruined a possibly okay story with a dumb joke that makes everyone terrible.

The whole thing is just confusing, cruel, and messy. They ignore basic rules of story writing just to pull the rug out from under us and have a big dumb joke ending. I’m not saying you can’t turn a moral into a joke, but you can do that while still writing an okay story.

Going to White Elephant, some found it refreshing that they didn’t’ turn it into a cheesy moral and just let Muscle Man have it. As much as I think they botched it, I see where it could have worked and if you can see that one as a guilty pleasure if you hate him enough.

This, appeals to no one really. Any joy is taken away by how bad the writing is. Even the writing on White Elephant wasn’t this bad. And yes, this is worse and should replace it on the list. I’m just glad Thomas improved after this, and indeed came back after Real Thomas, because this did not start him on a good note.

In short, this episode is confused and doesn’t know how seriously it should be taken and becomes a big mess with bad morals, and everyone being out of character, cruel, or unfairly punished.

Not much works aside from two minor things, the opening and the tape that is kind of amusing. Otherwise, this was a mess, and I’m glad the show didn’t sink this low, or even as low as White Elephant afterwards.

And yes, expect a follow up list for the last couple seasons to discuss it ending and such. After this, I need it.

The New Black [The Boondocks]

Season 4, Episode 10

Writer: Rodney Barnes

When it comes to adult cartoons, The Boondocks was a surprise gem for me. It’s one that mixes vulgar humor, with wacky situations and of course racial/social commentary and good stories. Even when it wasn’t being super deep, it was an enjoyable Adult Cartoon. Give Adult Swim Credit, when they get it right, they get it right.

Then Season 4 happened. It had no involvement with the original creator, confirming this is ALWAYS a bad sign. I swear MLP is the only show to survive without it’s original creator. To be fair, Season 4 was mostly just…okay to me.

Only two episodes were flat out bad and most of it was fine. However, 2 episodes were REALLY good, and the rest is mostly…just eh. They tried an arc for the first time but it didn’t work that well.

The show was once good at doing it’s own thing and not copy thing what other shows are doing, even when it does into the crass jokes. Season 4 changed that and felt like it was trying to be South Park when it comes to the storytelling. Because of that, the spark was just missing. The better episodes felt closer to it’s own thing instead of a copy.

Sometimes it even becomes like Family Guy, down to a having a character (obviously jokingly) saying that they don’t respect the viewers intelligence. Yes, it;s a joke but that’s something Family Guy would pull. The comes the bad episodes. We had Grandpa Dates a Kardashian which basically has one joke and you can guess what it is. It wasn’t funny and the attempt at satire at the end felt forced. But at least it had one in retesting idea and I can see the humor making up for the issues for some.

Not so much for this episode. I don’t hate it as much as some entries on here but it’s still bad. Especially because it ended up being the SEASON/SERIES FINALE. But guess what? It wasn’t the finale in production order, they aired out of order! They did the same with the premiere too. The heck?

But onto the episode. There isn’t quite as much to cover in terms of plot at least. It starts out simply enough. Riley sees a gay kid dancing and he says “That’s Gay” in his usual way. That’s part of his character, so In most cases I’d be fine with it.

Then right away this little bit gets him in hot water to the point where it makes the news. First problem, this is a rehash of a previous episode and it’s done much worse here. This episode is pretty obviously satirizes something…..but what they are satirizing is a different story.

The set up is they take a dumb off hand comment very seriously and turn him into the most hated person in town. There’s a set up for satire but the execution is…confusing.

But it was gay, why should I have to apologize? I saw gay, and I said gay. That ain’t bully, that’s an astute observation”

Keep that line in mind, I’ll rant on it later. This episode does hit on some good jokes or points, like when Reverend Goodlove points out that you can say the N word on TV but not the other F word or they’ll blip it. That’s funny but….South Park did it, and the DVD’s are uncensored, including for this season, thus killing the joke.

The other problem with this episode is that it’s boring. Most of it is the same: They want Riley to say sorry, but he refuses to do and keeps wanting to call gay things gay. Because it’s not clear what the message here it feels aimless. It’s also not funny because most of the jokes come from the situation, which is not a well written one.

Eventually, Robert says Riley is “Special” to excuse his behavior. And now this episode is about that. Yep, the episode changes gears to be about this. They try to fit in as part of the bigger satire but this is where things go off the rails.

The pro gay people boo because they hate mentally handicapped kids and the cycle begins anew. Then we get jokes at the expense of mentally disabled people, that would not out of place in Family Guy.

Needless to say, awful jokes like that shoot any satire they are going for in the foot. There’s actually a lot of jokes like that, like when Riley is confused as to what LGBT means or when Sweetlove (Yes, that’s the character’s name) says he “needs” Riley and they right away think they want to do him.

Yeah. The President of the Special Abeld Alliance against deformation shows up who is mad since Riley is not really specially abeld. He’s mad because…he’s not in on this and gettng money off of this. The “Yes Homo” people were the same way too. This episode tries to make fun of everyone but it backfires and just insults everyone. Because the family has no family, they’ll have Riley come to the special Olympics.

You’re literally making me a poster child for retarded kids!”

Don’t say the R Word. That’s a very bad word!”

Two Weeks later, Riley finds that pretending to be special worked for him as he got away with a lot because of it. Which we don’t see but hey, it would just further remind me of South Park.

At the Special Olympics, Riley quits at the last moment and uses the R word in front of everyone. All of the mentally handicapped people are drawn as stereotypical as possible, by the way.

So they stomp him in the nuts, then chase him. The end! …Wait, what? Yep, an abrurt ending and one of the worst on this list. Not only do they switch gears halfway through, but it gets no true resolution and no one learns anything.

There’s so much wrong here. One problem is there’s no one to root for. People like Robert just kind of exist and Riley is homophobic and ablest and no in any kind of funny way. Heuy is there but says barely anything and just tells Riley to apologize and that’s really it. There’s no one to connect to.

Even in the most over the top satire, you need SOMETHING to connect. If not that, then a clear understanding of what you are trying to say. The only message I can see is in te title. It’s true that things like this just repeat themselves, first people are outraged over use the N word, then it’s all about Homophobic statements.

People can be oversensitive sometimes but what kills this is the context. See, if I were to use the events of the episode to find a moral, it would e “It’s okay to be Homophobic, as long as you use the right wording”.

I’m not kidding, that’s all I can find. Because there’s no one who is in the right (Besides MAYBE Heuy, but again, he does nothing), I can only see that. It tries to advocate free speech I suppose but it just fails.

It tries to be like South Park attacking all sides, but you still need some kind of clear message. Even this show gets it. The Obama episode attacked both sides but it wasn’t the kind of episode that needed a real message, and you got the idea that they saw the pros and cons of both.

If you’re not going to take a side, at least be funny. But as I said, this episode is mostly boring and with only a few amusing moments. And at worst, he have jokes making fun of gay people and the mentally handicapped, which are just not funny above all else.

This really feels like it’s trying to be South Park but it’s more like Modern Family Guy, it’s honestly that bad. There’s good IDEAS for satire, like with the title but the execution is a mess. No one is likable, the plot switches and has an abrupt episode, and it’s not funny.

I can forgive anything if it’s funny but it’s just not. Any point it wants to make is just muddled or doesn’t come through. I’m sure people have pretentious essays about the ‘point’ of this episode and if anyone can calmly explain what they are truly saying, I’d love to hear it, but the episode isn’t even interesting enough for me to want to think about it.

And given what show this is, that’s kind of sad. Would this be on the proper list now? Eh, almost. I don’t hate watching it as much as others but it’s enough of an insult to a once good show to be a runner up.

I’m sure they had a point somewhere, but it got lost along the way. Ah well.

American Fung [American Dad]

Season 12, Episode 14

Writer: Greg Cohen

And we have our 2nd entry from a show that was on the list. This episode had aired when I did the list, but now when I first saw Bully For Steve and decided it would be on the list. I can’t remember if I saw this one after I had posted it, but I didn’t mention it so I guess I hadn’t.

It would go on the list instead of it. Because for all of that episodes problem, I’ll say this: It has a plot.

Well, okay this has a plot but ….oh boy. American Dad was able to step out of the shadow of Family Guy and become it’s own things. Even it’s bad episodes, for the most part, aren’t Family Guy.

The biggest exception is this episode, which feels ripped straight from Family Guy. This is from the first Season the show was on TBS and this is the only TBS Episode I’ve seen. I hear those episodes are still good so I guess this is just a fluke.

This shouldn’t take too long. The episode immediately begins with a sign of what we’re in for. A live action guy named Fung Wah tells us how funny american televsion is.

Who is funniest?”

Well, I think-

Seth MacFarlane”

Uh….sure. Long story short, this Chinese business man has bought out American Dad. Not for real, it’s just a joke. Yes, that is the main “joke” of the episode. The idea is a lot funnier than the actual execution.

That crap takes up most of the episode, but there actually is an “attempt” at a “plot” aside from that. Stan forgets his and Francine’s anniversary so he has her put in a mental insituation to give him time to plan it.

.Wait, what?

That’s the actual plot. We just started and Stan has been derailed beyond all belief. That’s actual impressive. Do I even need to explain the problem here? From what I’ve seen, he would never be this awful, or this stupid for that matter.

3 Days later, he goes to get her out and he has his anniversary gift….a bucket of chicken. This episode is already kinda defying my reviewing style, because do I need to explain why this is horrible? It speaks for itself!

I Hate You’”

At least she reacts accordingly. Which is kind of amazing, actually. However, her breakdown from this causes her to kept up in the mental hospital.

Oh god, I totally ruined this,….birthday?”

Fuck you.

As you would expect, the scenes with her in there have as many tasteless jokes as you expect. This is where it really becomes like Family Guy. And to be honest, there’s not a lot more to say.

Recapping the whole plot is pointless because I just told you what it all is. The Fung Wah stuff amounts to him popping into the show so the characters can suck his dick and the actual plot has Stan being horrible,a bunch of tasteless jokes.

Let’s just skip to the end. Stan breaks her out but gets caught, and they are taken to have a lobotomy. Only now does Stan attempt to apologize but it’s too little to late, even in universe, as the lobotomy happens.

Then they cut back to Fung Wah who randomly says that things worked for them. Apparently they left and fixed all their problems at one of Fung’s hotels, in a lazy way to tie the two plots together.

And it ends here….after more drawn out shit with Fung to pad this out to 22 minutes. Yeah, that wasn’t too indepth because this is more focused on comedy but god is it not funny. The main problem is the Fung crap drags on for waaaay too long.

I get where this could have been funny but it drags on so long and none of it is funny. Some of the parts with them dropping what they are doing to praise Fung are amusing, not so much it going for so long, especially at the end.

They drop all pretenses of plot for this. The actual plot is not much better. Stan is horrible and the situation is used for lazy bad jokes. I’m not sure how the heck this could have worked, but that’s why this was a big idea.

The Fung thing is funny for a skit it an episode, but outstays it’s welcome when dragged out. This wasn’t exactly “piss me off from offensive-ness” bad, but “this isnt even an episode” bad. There’s more or less no real plot in the end and the jokes drag on too long to be funny.

It’s something different, but in a bad way. Doing “Research’, I found a Reddit post analyzing the purpose and well, it kinda makes a point.

https://www.reddit.com/r/americandad/comments/3bz7k2/the_purpose_of_american_fung/

I can’t really dispute it since it is made clear this just all dumb satire, rather than a real story. Although he goes a bit too deep. This is kinda satire just to the that extent. Honestly, my problem is that I don’t find it funny at all.

The jokes go on too long, snuffing out the mildly amusing concept. American Dad and Family Guy for that matter have episodes clearly set aside to be jokes or satire and not be stories. But even the lesser ones try harder than this.

As much as I subjectively really dislike it, I suppose me just not finding it funny puts it above episodes that try to have a plot and become horrible. I was expecting to get all mad in this section but really I’m just…eh.

After a 2nd run through, I just find this one really boring because it drags. Stan is horrible but not in a way I need to explain. And if it is on purpose, it’s just not funny. It relies almost too much on humor, even more so than the funniest episodes on the show.

Sometimes basing your episode one joke can work, sometimes it can’t and it really did not here. Is this the worst American Dad Episode? To me yes, but I will admit some do worse by trying more, somehow.

It’s just an extremely bad and failed experiment I didn’t find funny. But if you did….that’s fine. I was just wanna move on to episodes that actually give me something to talk about. So let’s do so.

And our final entry is..

Hundred Dollar Gus [Uncle Grandpa]

Season 2, Episode 12

Writer: Zac Gorman (Story by like 50 people)

I spoke about Uncle Grandpa in the Weird Al post and yeah, I still like it. It’s certainly flawed but it has gotten better and can be funny. Infact, I wanted to put one ep on the previous list but I wanted to reverse the list for better shows at the time.

But now I like it more and it’s time to take on an episode. I haven’t seen every single episode, at least not many recent ones so I’m not sure if it’s still the worst, but it’s certainly the worst I’ve seen.

Let’s talk about Pizza Steve. He’s on the same level as Bloo and Howard as sometimes his nature is funny, or he is toned down, but other time he’s an annoying jerk which can ruin episodes.

Steve’s case is odd as there exists some episodes where they tease him learning a lesson…but nope, lame comedy ending. Brain Game, Numbskull, and Prank War all fall under this and it’s kinda getting old.

This episode has it at it’s worse, as it’s after all 3. It has other problem so let’s take a look. We start with Steve complaining UG’s been in the bathroom since “The Ice Age” ….Wasn’t his voice actor in Ice age 5 a year later?

Whoa.

Pizza Steve finds a hundred dollar bill and tells Uncle Grandpa it is not his, as not UG’s. Hard to tell from how I constructed that sentence. Instead of thinking of something that made sense, he tells him that the dollar bill is actually Mr. Gus, and that the real Mr Gus is some “weirdo stranger”.

UG doesn’t question anything and calls the cops. I know his intelligence often changes but this is pushing it.

Don’t taze me bro!”

Really? I thought it was lame when FOP said it, but…wow.

With the “Stranger” taken care of, they go the mall to spend some money. And that’s our incredibly stupid premise. I know this show has no logic, that’s usually okay. But usually the premise makes more sense than THIS!

The entire plot happens because the main character is a flat out gullible idiot, and Steve had the lamest excuse ever. It’s a dumb set up, even for this show. I mean, what’s he gonna do once he spends the money? Tells UG Gus turned into the objects he bought, or what?

Most of the episode is Steve facing close calls, with Uncle Grandpa almost finding out or becoming suspicious and Steve trying to hide the truth. The set up makes this less funny than it could have been, and it’s mostly repetitive.

Steve at least starts feeling guilty but each time he just keeps on doing what he’s doing. At one point his conscience speaks to him in the form of Mr Gus of course, but then he says “I forgot, I don’t have a conscience” and just spends the money.

Yeah, it gets boring and aggregating fairly quickly. To be fair, they do put in a few jokes during all this, some of which are even funny like when Uncle Grandpa gets a Caricature by someone who hates their job. Not enough to save this but eh, it’s not all bad at least.

Eventually, Uncle Grandpa sees Steve spend the money but just thinks the lady took Mr. Gus. They frame it in a such way for this to barely make sense in terms of how it plays out.

He takes “Mr. Gus” and the cops chase after them. Cops who are all 2 weeks from retirement. Like I said, it has it’s moments. By the way, they still have this car thing he spent the money on, so just giving the money back is not an option for Steve.

They get cornered and now Steve considers coming clean to get off the hook. So of course….he doesn’t and they all end up in jail,but Steve tells UG that they are in the RV so it’s all okay. The end!

…Wow, that was a stupid episode. Not even in the funny way, for the most part. There are main problems and we’ve touched on them. 1st is that the premise is stupid, even for this show. There’s no reason for UG to buy anything and that’s the only reason this plot even happens.’

It’s an Idiot Plot and it’s not even a funny one, like some episodes. For all the shows’ weirdness, it’s typically done for Comedy, not as an excuse for bad writing. The actual plot is the same thing over and over again and thanks the ending, there’s no reason to re-watch as you know no one will learn anything. That’s another thing. We get it, Pizza Steve will just be back at Square 1 in the next episode. You don’t need FOUR episodes with insulting endings to remind us!

Especially because there no exist good episodes where he learns something, even if it’s still all silly with him going back to normal in the next episode. It may have been funny at one point due to being surprising, but now it’s not, so it’s just a predictable punchline.

The whole episode hinges on it so just makes the whole thing pointless. I mean, at least Steven uses a lie to make UG happy but after he refused to tell the truth and got in jail, that’s not really enough.

Is Pizza Steve so selfish he would rather go to jail than tell the truth? Come on, he’s not THAT bad! This stretches his character too far, I think. Maybe someone finds this funny but in this episode, it’s just dull and annoying.

But to be fair, I dislike it slightly less than my first viewings. It at least has some good jokes and I’ve sat through worse on this list. Arnold Betrays Iggy is still the “Best” thing on here though.

Even with it being not terrible, it’s just the worst from the show as the premise is not even good, on top of all the usual problems. It’s just a mostly stupid, and and annoying episode. Not the biggest way to the end the list,but  a decently fitting one.

And those were 10 more bad episodes of Cartoons I like. This is fun to do, for some reason. I had seen so many more I had to share them. As for the worst of this patch, probably American Fung, followed by Starter Pack than Operation LIZZIE. Those just bothered me the most with their incompetence.

I may do a third someday but I’d have to find at least 5 more worth diciussing, and I only had a couple ideas that got kicked out. May be awhile before the next one. But before I even think of doing another, I have another idea.

I’ve been mostly down on good shows for the sake of these lists. How about something positive? You may wonder if the opposite can happen. You know, Bad Shows having an actually good episode?

Well, you’ll find out with…

Top Good Episodes of Cartoons I DON’T like!

COMING EVENTUALLY

See ya.

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General Review: Smurfs The Lost Village

Hello, Smurfey….i mean Spongey here.

Two Animated films two weeks in a row? Now that’s s Smurfng nice treat! …Okay, I’m not doing that during this whole review. But anyway, let’s talk Smurfs. I went into them a bit in my review of the 2011 film so you can there for my info.

The Smurfs is one of those things that’s just there for me. Haven’t seen too much from it but of course I know the basic details. Most people seem to think Smurfs in general is just kinda there, a harmless mildly amusing kids thing and yeah, that’s how I feel.

So I’m in the middle, I can go either way. I certainly went to the negative way when it came to the Live Action films I reviewed years ago. They got some parts right, but they were mostly soulless cash ins that send them to our world for some baffling reasons.

They made money but the 2nd one didn’t do AS well as hoped, so that franchise stopped there. However, soon after they announced…they would be starting over and doing an all animated version for their next movie.

Needless to say, this made a lot of people happy. Fully animated talks on old cartoons tend to far better, as long as you don’t dump it on DVD and put wrestlers in it for some reason. (Oh, you’ll have your day on here eventually….)

And when the trailers came out, I got more interested. I honestly though it looked pretty good, with great looking cartoon-y animation and some amusing bits. Sure, there was plenty of ways it could fail, but I think it looked decent, even taking the previous films out of it.

Now it’s here an we’ll see how it is. Shockingly, it has a 31 on RT which kinda fills me with dread but Black Nerd liked it so that’s cool.

The writers have not done much, and the Director has done a lot of solid animation work like directing Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron and Gnomeo and Juliet.

And it’s being done by Sony Pictures Animation. Not sure if I’ve talked about them before (Besides reviewing Hotel Transylvania once), but I like them fine. They got a really solid cartoon-y style for them and their films tend to be pretty fun. Insert reference to a certain someone who does not like them here.

With that said, will this be the animated Smurfs film we’ve been waiting for, or is a pile of Smurf? Let’s find out.

This is Smurfs: The lost Village

ANIMATION:

At this point, I think Sony has nailed Cartoon-y Animation and this film nicely applies it to the world of Smurfs. It is more retrained than usual but it fits the world. The Smurfs look exactly like they should, being cartoon-y and nicely designed.

The world is nicely realized. The village looks fine but it’s the forbidden Forrest and the Lost Village that really shine. There’s some nice colors and it’s a well crafted world. The character animation is of course cartoon and moves fast , while still looking good. The designs are good, although it does do the big nose thing.

I wouldn’t say there’s anything amazing in the animation, but it is a nice looking film with decent eye candy for kids. Not too much to say, mostly because I want to write more about the other stuff.

So yeah, the animators did a good job capturing the world of the Smurfs, being Cartoon-y but still toning things down from their usual stuff to fit with the franchise better. It’s a nice looking film overall.

WRITING:

A mysterious map prompts Smurfette, Brainy, Clumsy, and Hefty to find a lost village, while Gargamell tries to catch them and Smurfette deals with being the only female, with no defining trait like the others.

Let me answer your first question: Yes, it is better than the live action movies. But in gneneal, eating a cupcake is better than eating dog poop. It kind of goes without saying. With that out of the way, how is the writing on it’s own?

It’s…decent! I’ll say right now it won’t blow you away, but it’s not supposed to so, it’s a Smurfs movie. I will say the biggest problem with it: It plays it very safe. There’s no surprises, and nothing groundbreaking or great.

It mostly works but there are small cliches like a pointless “Romance” and a cop out ending. But otuside of that, there’ nothing actually bad here. It plays it safe, but the story at least make sense in it’s own way, and there’s thankfully a lack of annoying pop culture stuff. …Except for a bit with a Selfie but it’s only one part, thankfully.

Some will enjoy the safe route, others will find that it makes the film bland. I can see why but I think it works. I do wish it took more risks…but after the other movies, I’m glad it’s just faithful to Smurfs at all.

As for the story itself, the best aspect is Smurfette. They go into her backstory and palce in the village, as she was made by Gargamel and doesn’t have a defining trait like the other Smurfs.

They actually do a good job of going into this. Sure, it goes how you expect with a typical moral but it’s a good moral for kids and the scenes that explore her are nicely done. Nothing complex but it works and is the highlight of the film.

The overall journey is typical but is a fun little adventure that lends itself to some amusing moments. The humor mostly worked for me with the characters giving me some decent laughs. Again, nothing crazy but the humor is mostly good, minus a butt joke or two.

That butt joke, is as PG as the film ever gets. It is one of the most G Rated Films I’ve seen in a long time…but it’s rated PG because the MPAA is full of idiots.

As I said, it plays it safe so there’s nothing too deep or shocking. Things still play out well, and while they with the village what you expect they would do, it’s still well done and they have some fun there.

By the way, yes Smurfs 2 also had a Smurfette story but this time, it’s well done all the way and there’s none of the NPH Daddy drama crap. At least they took the only good parts of the other movies.

There’s not too much to say. The writing plays it safe which can be an issue in some parts, but for me it mostly made for a fine script which is a decent adventure with some nice exploration of Smurette.

It’s a totally safe kids film but it’s not insulting, nor does it totally shut off adults. It doesn’t offer a ton but for what they did, I personally think it works fine. Safe but it works for what it is.

CHARECTERS:

The characters fit with the rest, as there’s no one who is complex but they act exactly like the should, and the voice actors bring them to life. There’s not a lot to really examine but it focuses on a core group, fairly well.

Starting with Smurfette, voiced by Demi Lovato. Yes, she’s relevant enough to be a Celeb voice actor. Smurfette is the best written character due the story given to her. She’s not super complex but she’s easily likable with her finding her place in the village. She works as a solid lead for the film.

Our villain Gargamel, voiced by Rainn Wilson, is pretty fun. He works as the villain and he offers some good jokes, especially with his moments with Azreal. He’s a decently fun villain and is the same Gargamel we know and enjoy.

Our main bunch of Smurfs are Brainy, voiced by Danny Pudi, Hefty, and Clumsy, voiced by Jack McBrayer. They of course don’t go too far beyond those names, but they are decent. Brainy is an enjoyable smart guy who can be a tad stuck up, Hefy is the weakest due to his random crush on Smurfette that goes nowhere but he’s fine and my favoite is Clumsy because he;s just funny. Jack McBrayer is the standout for me with how he plays him.

Papa Smurf is there too but he’s not in it much and he’s fine. That’s actually it, as the rest as a spoiler. Even if the trailers tried their best to give it away. I will say those charecters work too, with most of them being amusing with good actors behind them. A tad undercooked due to only being in the latter half but ah well.

No one is amazingly complex, but everyone is enjoyable in their own. Some are a bit stale but they keep the focus where it should be, with a solid lead in Smurfette and some decent support. I can forgive some safeness here from the the writing, given the kind of film it is.

Overall, the characters work and hey, no one’s hateable at least.

Final Thoughts:

So….why does this have a 31 on RT again? Why is it rated lowe than Boss Baby, Secret Life of pets, and Trolls, plus so many more worse films? Because while Smurfs The Lost Village plays it safe to the point of having under cooked elements and being predictable, it is a decent kids film, with well done animation and a good story for Smurfette and some enjoyable performances.

I can totally see some finding it average, but it’s nowhere near bad. It’s mostly a “Cute” film but there’s nothing wrong with that. Not all animated films need to be Zootopia or Kubo, sometimes you need a Winnie the Pooh. It’s true to the Smurf spirit and is a cute diversion.

Nothing more than that but that’s fine. I’d recommend it to Smurf fans and famalies. I wouldn’t pay full price and if you’re not into this kind of kids movie, it’s most likely a rental if you don’t have kids.

But for what it is, it’;s fine. There’s nothing I can call BAD in it, the worst elements are average at worst. It’s charming film with moments of decent laughs and heart. Sometimes, that’s all you need.

Animation: B

Writing; B

Characters; B

OVERALL: B

Yeah, that looks like a the report of a totally unremarkable kid but ah well. Much better than last week. Next review is…next week as there’s ANOTHER animated film! It’ll hopefully come to me given The Wild Life did. It looks…not good but you never know, hopefully it’ll be okay…ish.

See ya.

Posted in General Reviews, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Citizen Kane

Hello, Spongey here.

No, I’m not actually Noddy. Or Ryan Mead. Or Goldy. Or Doofenshmirtz. I am just Spongey. Today I shall review the film seen as the best ever made, to the point where it’s a punchline when referring to a great film.

.No, there’s no catch or gimmick. I am reviewing it for real ……That’s the joke this year. I’m doing something I’d usually do as a joke but for real. …hilarious, I know.

Believe it or not, I have considered doing this for awhile. I wasn’t sure I would do it, but I wanted to. Because I had never seen it and wanted to see how it is. Yes, I had never seen this film. That’s both shocking and not shocking at all.

I’m gonna go in blind. I only know of the more famous parts of this And what they say on the back of the DVD. (Which is just whoever wrote the blurb jizzing all over the movie). I’m not gonna go into the behind the scenes story and such like I usually do, because I truly want to go in knowing as little as possible, which was easier than you’d think.

And also I’m lazy. I have no idea how much I’ll truly like it given what it is and the reputation it is. I’m not expecting a whole lot to be honest, because not even something like this tends to live up the hype.

This was the original over hyped film for people to bitch about, you see.

I’ll review the way I usually do. Go over what happens and snark about it, or say nothing because I’m dull sometimes. We’ll see what happens. Get for the lamest April Fools joke here (by the way, I get the context behind Goldy’s joke from last year. Yeah) as we look at the “greatest film ever made”. Should be …interesting.

This, is Citizen Kane

After like a minute of establishing shots, the movie opens with someone on their deathbed as they drop a snowglobe

Rosebud”

PETER GRIFFIN: It was his sled. It was his sled from when he was a kid. There, I just saved you 2 long boobless hours.

Sorry, I had to. But huh, didn’t expect the most famous scene to be the first one. It’s a striking note either way, especially with him dying here. So how do they follow up a somewhat tragic opening like that?

NEWS ON THE MARCH!”

.Mood Whiplash isn’t a new problem, got it.

We get a report on his death but not before the ramble on about the place the mansion he died in was. Yes, that’s way important, I get it. We are told this is Charles Foster Kane, who I assume is a Citizen of some kind.

He tells us his life story, which begins as a ramble on all the stuff he owned. Anyway noticing a pattern? He was a rather important business tycoon, who was really loved and really hated by about the same amount of people. He was also a politician.

So nothing too shocking there.

Call me impatient, but a lot of this just ends up feeling like rambling. It goes from interesting to just him going on about divorce or something like that. I imagine a lot of this is important but perhaps cute down some fluff to keep us a tad more invested? Anyway, we see clips of him and in one them , from 1935 he claims there will be no war in Europe. Well, we know he’s master of irony.

After slightly more talking, they mention he died again and suddenly a The End Card. Well, that was a short movie! Okay, it’s only the end of a newsreel, which I thought would take up the whole movie at this point.

It’s being watched by some people, one of them does my job for me and critiques it. He’s determined to figure out who Kane truly was, and what Rosebud means. Gotta say, it’s weird watching this knowing the twist thanks to how often it’s spoofed. But the trope isn’t name after it for nothing.

It will probably turn out to be a very simple thing”

Well, he’s right about that.

Thompson sets out to talk to everyone Kane ever knew, starting with his 2nd wife who currently owns a Nightclub. She’s really not in the mood to talk though, she shoots him down right away. But someone she knew says she never heard of Rosebud, so that solves that. I’m already finding myself at a loss for things to comment on/joke about, whoops.

So Thompsons goes to the Private Archive of someone who knew Kane and reads his memories as they go into him. Now that the actual plot started, we’re getting somewhere. This is a fine device to go into Kane and get into the real story. Hey, after that super long ramble anything is better.

We learn Kane grew up in Colorado but they came across a literal goldmine and want to send him away to get a proper education. When we see them discussing this, Mom says his trunk is already packed. I could be concerned she already has this already while her husband was still debating all this but maybe it’s 1871 thing.

I’ve had it packed for a week now”

Not helping.

Kane is outside and they go tell him about this as of course they did this all without telling him first. Of course that’s the point, I’m just doing what I usually do. Kane is not exactly up this, shockingly enough. He attacks with his sled, which is badass but of course they hold him back and this gives them more reason to send him away.

We get a closeup on the sled and we get a flashback (inside of a flashback…) to when he got it as a Christmas Present. Ah, so the best movie ever made is also the best Christmas movie ever made?

And then we flash forward to when Kane turns 25. He enters the newspaper business and mostly publishes articles slamming the company of Thatcher that guy who came to get him. I like his attitude here, he’s got the “it’s gonna be interesting to see his empire fall at the end” thing going on.

I did lose a million dollars last year. I expect to lose a million dollars this year. I expect to lose a million dollars next year. At the rate of a million dollars a year, I’ll have to close this place in 60 years”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8duX_eFqmE

Feels weird to use that clip on a movie like this.

A bit later, we get back to Thompson as his time to read those memoir is up. Okay, so we’re splitting up the flashbacks, that works I suppose. Despite how interesting that all was, he didn’t find Rosebud so he doesn’t care. To be fair, memories don’t come with symbolic closeups of sleds.

So he just goes to Kane’s old Business Manger to get more flashbacks, that was easy. At this point I should say I sometimes feel dumb watching this because a lot of the business talk flies over my head, but it’s just interesting enough in places for me to keep going…that and despite knowing what Rosebud, I’m curious as to where this is all going in story.

We flashback to when Kane took over the New York Inquirer and right away he changes this by pretty moving in and having the place be open 24 hours a day. Insert Graveyard Shift joke here.

Kane expands the newspaper but promises people he will “tell the news honestly’ which is a promise I expect to last about 5 minutes, just guessing. He buys out the staff of a competing newspaper and then he has a whole song made about him because even this movie needs a musical interlude.

Later, Kane gets engaged to the niece of the president of the united stated. Eh, My Date with the Presidents Niece doesn’t have the same ring to it. Not sure how he did that without anyone knowing until now given her status but that’s not important.

The flashback ends as we are told that marriage did not end too well, which is very shocking of course. So now it’s on to Kane’s Estranged friend Mr. Leland to get more backstory. I like this device with the many narrators to go into the backstory, apparently it was really unique at the time and it’s a good way to tell this story, in this context.

Our next flashback tells us more about his first marriage because why not. To the shock of no one, it started nice enough until they become more distant with Emily complaining about he spends all of his time on work. Either a movie this old can be cliché too or this movie invented it. Could go either way.

I joke but this is at least shown in a montage and the way we see it makes it at least a bit more interesting than it sounds. Natrually, he ends up having an affair with a woman named Susan an we get an extended scene with them meeting which is shown in more detail than anything with the first wife for some reason.

I mean the scene with the two is rather nice, so I’d say this relationship is better but than I remember the whole cheating thing, and yeah.

After that Kane runs for Governor so he can make whatever state this is great again. I swear, that’s the last obvious joke. And yes tis is where that iconic image, that’s even on the DVD cover, comes from.

He becomes the popular candidate through the typical ways, but his political opponent finds out about that whole cheating thing and tells his wife. Geez, at least Kane is charming in his douchey-ness, this guy is just underhanded.

The scene is a bit more drawn out than I’m making it seem but like a lot of the extended talking scenes, it’s effective enough especially here with exactly what they say. Naturally, this gets out and that’s the end of his political career.

Everything goes downhill for him and Bernstein here pretty much tells him why it sucks and yeah it’s more effective stuff I can’t really comment on. I’m starting to realize this may have been a bad idea. After he has a good drink, we find out he marries Susan. Guess she had no issue with the whole cheating thing.

He gets her an operatic career but right away we see she can’t keep up with it and she isn’t even that good, according to Critics. I shockingly have no clever comments here.

That ends this flashback. He tries Susan again and this time she jumps into a flashback. Kinda makes her previous scene pointless (since there’s no transition to her opening up) but okay.

We see that Susan went a bit crazy from all this singing stuff she didn’t want to do and she yells at Kane about it. She even attempts suicide to get out of this, which is what gets Kane to let her drop out of singing. Can’t say I expected that heavy in a 1941 film but hey, it works. That’s all I got for this scene, moving on.

Their troubles don’t end there, as Susan starts feeling like a Disney Princess, couped in their big home, not allowed to really get OUT THERE. Ironically, this is after she QUIT singing.

After more of that, she just decides to leave him. After we see him slap her in one bit, can’t say I blame her. To be fair, what is what happens when you willingly marry who already had a wife that left him.

He pleads with her to stay but of course she still leaves. Yes, its another very strong scene I have little to say about. We’ve only got like 15 minutes left, okay?

The short flashback yet ends and she says to talk to the butler. Because the butler does everything in fiction. He goes to said butler right away and we get his flashback. Right after Susan left, he throws a fit and starts breaking things.

But he stops when he spots a snowglobe.

Rosebud”

Oh yeah, almost forgot that’s why we’re here. I was about to ask how Snowlobe and Sled’s connect….but uh…sled…snow…Yeah, I’m an idiot. End flashback. Now that was short but the butler know of that bit gets Thompson closer to knowing about Rosebud. But theyboth dismiss as useless rambling because why not.

He decides it’ll just remain a mystery, and adds that finding out the meaning wouldn’t really say anything.

I don’t think any word can explain a man’s life”

Deep. …Not even joking, well said. They are taking care of Kane’s positions and tossing any possible junk…including a sled. Which says Rosebud on it. Okay, so they didn’t think to insect everything he owns for any clues? Really?

Yep, I was able to nitpick the most famous part of the most well known movie ever, I am such an asshole.

Now that I know the context of this twist…yeah, it works really well. I’ll admit that knowing it for this long took a tad from it, but just like Empire Strikes Back, it’s still effective when you see it in context.

The End. Yeah, even THIS one needs a rushed ending but given what it’s all about, I’ll accept it. Plus, the note they ended on was a very good one. Kinda wish the credits didn’t have clips for each actor so the end can be effective but whatever.

Either way, so that was Spongey’s Never Seen. …Wait.

Final Thoughts:

Before I go any further, I should apologize for this review not being the best. This was an odd to do since I don’t do this kind of movie in general. Frankly,i just did it because of it’s status. But it was…interesting.

It’s important to note that I am watching this in 2016 having seen mostly modern movies in my life, and this film is mostly known for it’s innovation. Meaning this can fall into “Seinfeld is Unfunny” territory, and I wasn’t sure how much in terms of techniques was new until I looked It up. We really do take so much for granted nowadays.

But on it’s own…yeah, it’s pretty good. I have no true Critical Reason for not going crazy over it, given it’s all due to my own tastes so forgive me if I do seem dumb for not quite getting everything. I bet I made so many mistakes or skipped things some see as amazingly important.

But what is there to say? Even taking aside it’s status, all I can say is that it was an interesting story of this man. That’s what the film is all about so it’s kinda important they got him right and on every level they did.

I said effective a lot because most of the best scenes are simply effective with how they tell this story. Even to me, some parts were decently impressive to me, which makes up for some parts I found slow. I think the run time is mostly justified, some small bits aside.

Movies like this make me feel so young, you know? On a personal level I just find it pretty good, but I imagine on a Critical Level it’s as amazing as everyone says with what it does. It is better thinking about it, now that I know where they were going with all this.

I can’t offer too much insight, other than it was an interesting story about this man. Of course now this kind of story, of the rise and fall of person, is common and maybe back then it was too, but those are always interesting to see play out.

And the man himself helps make it work here, and of course the overall execution. Overall, I did find it pretty good. I’ve only got a few things to comment on. First, the Wikipedia Article has so much detail you may as well just skip the movie. 2Nd, this film was actually a bomb in release and not liked a ton.

The Ultimate Proof that Accolades mean jack shit sometimes.

So yeah, the best movie ever made is pretty good to me. I can see some may still call it the best…but whatever. We’ll see how many people agree with me and the days of it being the best thing ever are over, or what.

We return to your regular scheduled reviews of Disney Channel Movies.

Grade; B+

Feels weird to grade it like that but there you go. In hindsight, should of either done a twist or done something else. But there you go. Let’s make up for it. We did a famous old movie so let’s do an infamous recent movie. What do you got?

Collateral_Beauty_poster.png

…Yay.

See Ya, and Happy April Fools Day!

Posted in Play by Play Reviews, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

General Review: The Boss Baby

Hello, Spongey here.

General Review time again! Sorry you had to wait til the end of the month, I wanted to cover some others but you know, money and all that. I had to skip out on Power Rangers, but I’m totally there for Alec Baldwin as a baby!

Yeah, my need to do all the animated films is weird sometimes. But I wanna make this intro short so let’s get to the movie. Dreamworks is in a weird spot now, hopefully what they have in the store in the future is good.

This year will be odd as both of the films they have for this year are silly ones, while they usually have at least one semi serious one. Even in both these movies are good, that is odd. But I’m not here to say if or if not they’;ll be good going forward, I just wanna look at this movie.

Everyone was bashing it just based on the early trailers, but I didn’t have much of a reaction. Mostly because I didn’t know the real plot as the trailers aren’t saying much beyond the idea. It’s dumb but Dreamworks has made dumb idea work before.

I did learn more but I didn’t care enough to really judge. Then the early reviews came in and I got more worried. Not all were awful but not many have been impressed so far. It’s got a 41 on RT but frankly that means nothing, as Power Rangers has like 40 something but most of the reviewers I happen to follow like it, which really confused me.

Doubt this will be the same case.

It’s based on a picture boo I’ve never heard of, but I doubt it has too much to do with it. The writer has contributed to Austin Powers 2 and 3, Baby Mama, and Thunderbirds….An odd track record.

Our director has the Dreamworks films Madagascar and Megamind, which I happen to like. This gives me some level of hope, but let’s see if that hope is founded. Will this grow up to be a big boy, or should it be fired? Let’s see.

This, is The Boss Baby

ANIMATION:

Some computer animated films nowadays try to be more cartoon-y, to sort of make up for the lack of 2D animated films. Some do it very well, others do not. I bring this up because this movie really goes for that style, as it is very classic cartoon like with it’s animation. There’s even a Mr Magoo nod in there.

And honestly, it works! The animation is really well done in this. For one, they use 2D animation for Tim’s fantasy sequences and they are very well done with great use of lighting to make it look differently from the CG world.

Speaking of, the CG character animation is good too. It’s very cartoon-y but they don’t go too overboard. The designs look a tad off in the clips, but in the actual film, they fit the style the film is going for.

The background are decent. Only a few stand out like Babycorp but they’re not supposed to amazingly flash-y anyway. There’s not a whole lot to complain about, except it did all make wish this was just all 2D but of course that wasn’t gonna happen.

As it it, it captures a 2D feel very well with some strong character animation and good use of stylized 2D. The animators deserve credit for their solid work here, regardless of how the rest turns out.

WRITING:

Tim’s idea life with his parents changes when his new baby brother arrives, who acts a lot like a boss. He takes over Tim’s life but more problem arise once when he finds out why Boss Baby here and they must team up to stop a threat.

The writing for this movie is…interesting. The movie starts with narration from an Adult Version of Tim, telling this story, as he remembers it. That tell you right away this movie is from the perspective of a child who has an overactive imagination.

So everything is his head, right? That’s the confusing part. They leave it ambitious as to how much is happening….too ambiguous. The best we get is Tim saying this is how he remembers it, but that’s not good enough.

As it is, there’s waaay too many questions in terms of how this world works. Not spoiling too much but the explanation of how babies come to be is odd, especially as we see Tim’s Mom being pregnant. So is the explanation they give real or not?

Speaking of, Mom told Tim about where babies come from. First off, you know for kids and 2nd, what parent tells a kid that young that about that stuff?!

Questions like this keep popping up and it’s kinda distracting. In one scene, Tim and Boss Baby have a high speed chase in a toy car but it cuts to the parents, who only see the car gong slow like a real toy car would and it’s not the high speed chase we see.

But only a minute later, Tim starts up a big action scene with other babies, and the parents see this and we see that actually happened from their POV. Again, how much is real?!

I like the idea of it being a kids imagination but it could have been done better. It is possible to shut off your brain and get into the crazy situation but when you do, what’ there is….eh. Not horrid by any means, but rather average.

There are some cute moments but the relationship between the two is fairly rushed. Including the all too obligatory scene near Act 3 where they spoilers, part ways only to come back. Actually, not a spoiler because EVERY KIDS MOVIE EVER has this scene. Even good ones!

Stop it.

The story itself hits all the expected beats which would fine if it was executed better. This leads into my other big problem : The pacing. It’s way too fast for it’s own good, not letting too much sink in. This can work in some scenes but most of time, it really hurts the overall story.

It was hard to wrap my head around a lot of the ideas because it was going so fast, almost to make up for the lack of logic. It does not do so. As for the comedy, it’s eh too. There’s some good jokes but the main gag of Alec Baldwin as a baby gets old quick and of course there’s the expected immature humor.

I can appreciate the main goal of this movie but I think stuff like The LEGO Movie pulled it off way better. The logic isn’t perfect there but it’s more clear what is going on and of course it’s a lot funnier.

Still better than Sharkboy and Lavagirl though.

Overall, the writing is fairly messy with not committing to wether or not this is really going on, and either way the story is typical with the expected gags. There’s some good ideas here, but it was better off a short film rather than an hour plus movie where they gotta fit in some big adventure with a typical villain.

It’s pretty …eh.

CHARACTERS:

This will be short, as the two leads are the only ones that matter. So let’s quickly mention the others. The parents, voiced by Jimmy Kemmel and Lisa Kudrow, are just there. They aren’t meant to much more so I can let it slide. Jimmy Kimmel is typical pointless Celeb casting though.

Then there is the villain. Can’t say much due to spoilers but he’s eh. They try to give him a backstory but the idea for it is better than the execution. They brush over it and he’s mostly typical.

We also have some babies that help out Boss Baby but there’s not much to them, and the villain has a typical dumb muscle goon. Yeah. So onto our main characters, Tim and Boss Baby, voiced by Alec Baldwin. Yes, they only call him boss baby.

Like everyone else, Tim is pretty typical. He’s not hate able at least but there’s just not a lot to him. If the writing overall was stronger there’s be more they could fall back on with him but as it is, he’s just there.

Then there’s the real star Boss Baby. He is arguably the most developed character with his backstory and how he grows to like Tim but his main shtick got old fast and his development is as rushed as everything else.

I’m not saying this gag can’t work but they fall back on it too much and don’t really replace it with much else. Their relationship is rushed, even if there are at least attempts for nice moments here and there. He can work fine sometimes but is mostly…eh.

The characters are like most of the rest of the film. Not really bad but nothing above…okay. They put a little too much effort into make everything crazy and not enough into making a solid relationship or anything else.

So yeah, once again, eh.

Final Thoughts:

The Boss Baby isn’t as bad as feard due to some creative ideas and strong animation, but it’s mostly just okay. They can’t decide what’s real or not, leading to a very confusing script that’s just typical fare at it’s core, with characters to match. It’s perfectly serviceable for kids, even if some of the business talk will go over their heads, but for adults, there’s many better choices out there.

It’s about on part with Trolls. Fine-ish but not that good either. Both are weaker Dreamworks entries but still not the worst. There’s just so many better movies that do similar things. If you a better reflection of childhood, check out The LEGO Movie, and if you a want a better movie about someone bonding with their new baby brother, watch The Rugrats Movie.

It’s sadly fairly average. On some level it had potential and it is harmless, but it just didn’t quite work for me. A tad better than the RT score might make you think, but I wouldn’t recommend it to adults. There is better stuff for kids, but there’s far worse too.

They tried to be certain but for the most part, it’s all….eh.

Animation: B

Writing: C

Enjoyment: C+

Characters: C

OVERALL: C (Slightly subject to change)

2 Dreamworks films in a row I find Average. I really hope Captain Underpants is good. Next review is actually next week and it’s another animated one. All I have to say about it: PLEASE BE SMURFIN’ GOOD.

See ya.

Posted in General Reviews, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Goosebumps Hall of Horrors-Claws!

Claws!_(Cover)

Not enough Kevin Spacey, 0/10

Hello, Spongey here.

Well, I finally reviewed all of Goosebumps HorrorLand. But Rl Stine choose to keep Modern Goosebumps rolling so we shall do the same. Yep, we’re covering all the new Goosebumps books from now in this format because it’s fun.

From this point forward, Stine decided to just do a few Goosebumps Mini Series with no real arc between the books anymore. I’m totally fine with this, as it’s a way to keep doing Goosebumps without being tired to one major series, like the original.

Plus without the arcs you can go back to the famous twist endings since the characters don’t have to survive to see the next book! This brings more of the Classic Goosebumps feeling in the way.

Otherwise, it’s business as usual. I’m not as amazingly faimlar with the ones going forward as the earlier HorrorLand ones but I have read them at least once. Plus, I have covered some I’ve only read like twice and had little memory of such as Wizard of Ooze and those reviews turned out fine,.

Either way, we’re doing this. Should be as fun as usual. There’s not much to say regarding this first book in this mini series. The premise is a bit like another GB book but let’s see how they handle it. You’ll get this Mini-Series’ gimmick as we go.

Let’s get into it.

This, is Claws!

Each of these Hall of Horrors books has a wrap around thing. I’ll mostly be skimming them but as this is the first book, we’ll go over it. We start with the Story Keeper telling us about the Hall of Horrors which he says is not on the “HorrorLand Map”.

Yeah, there is a connection to HorrorLand but him saying that is as deep as it goes. This is where people go to tell their scariest stories. His current visitor is Mickey and he has a story about a black cat.

“”There’s always Always Room for One More Scream at the HALL OF HORRORS…”

I got no feeling on this gimmick. A bit dumb it doesn’t effect the stories too much so I can live with it.

We really start with Mickey and his friend Amanda at his neighbor’s house. We already get some golden lines.

He was our 5th grade teacher last year. He was a pretty good teacher, except he talked about his vegetable garden too much.”

They are catsitting for them, and we are we see that Amanda is pretty silly.

So she’s like a tree…or a rock…or a mailbox. You know. Something that’s just always been there”

This book is gonna be great,

The owners’ are going on vacation for week and our heroes must take care of the cat. Well,, that cat is gonna die.

Things go well for their first day but on the 2nd day they accidentally leave the door open when they come in, like the idiots they are. The cat runs out …and is hit a by a truck and dies!

  1. WAS JOKING!

These kids suck is they kill a cat 14 pages in. This is an effective moment if only because death isn’t too common in Goosebumps. Cruel animal death is a fear street thing. The two worry about the heck to do, and then Bella vanishes before they can find her body.

Well, that’s something we shouldn’t question.

They worry for a bit and Amanda gets an idea: Instead of taking responsibility, they get a cat that looks exactly like Bella and no one will notice! ….Yeah, she’s kind of a bad influence.

Mickey of course isn’t sure but Amanda forces him to do it anyway and he figures there’s not much else they can do, so they go to a store called Cat Heaven. Subtle Foreshadowing,there.

The place is huge, with one of them saying it’s as big as a Wal-Mart, when all they have is cats. I don’t have a joke for that, oddly enough. They ask a worker if they separate the cats by type, to make their job easier but they say they do not do so, so they don’t have a section for black cats.

There’s a race joke in there somewhere…

They don’t have much luck until they stumble upon a secret room that has a lot of cats in it. Well, these as evil cats, no doubt about it. Has a secret room in Goosebumps has ever not been evil?

They find a cat that looks exactly like Bella. Amanda can tell it’s female too, somehow. Ik know you can’t use the easiest way in a kids book but come on. Someone burts in and says these cats are not for sale.

So they’re evil, got it.

Long story short, they just end up stealing the cat. Yeah, they just decide to do without thinking, what lovely kids.

We’ve killed one cat, now we’ve stolen another”

When you say it like that, you sound like morally questionable people!

Bella 2 is already working well, until she randomly claw’s up Mickey’s shirt. Amanda tries to dismiss it as Bella 2 being nervous about being catnapped and all which….makes as much sense as it should.

Mickey goes home and we find out he has 3 fish named Nick, Joe, and Kevin,.

…0/10, worst book ever.

Good names for Fish”

NO.

That night, Mickey hears a cat but there are no cats to be found. He hears more sounds then seem like a cat walking around, but he still sees nothing. Eventually he goes to his fish and sees they have been pretty much murdered….but still no one is there.

.That was more chilling than I thought it would be. Huh. Also , more animal death in a children’s book!

He doesn’t get much sleep after and he goes on about how he needs his sleep while Amanda brags about staying up all night. Still better than my sleep schedule.

He and Amanda go to see “Bella” and things go well until Bella 2 goes crazy and starts tearing up the couch. They get her off and leave but see two guys from the store in the distance. Yeah, the cat must be weird if they care so deeply that they stole it.

Wait, if they know the kids took the cat, why don’t they cal the police?

We stole a cat. What’s the big crime?’

…Stealing the cat.

They manage to sneak past them and get to school. Their teacher is ‘Awesome looking”. NO COMMENT. Mickey starts hearing cat sounds but no one can hear them. Between his sleep deprivation this, he’s not feeling the best.

Just before, this is oddly effective. I don’t know, hearing noises only you hear is always freaky, even if it’s just cat noises. Then later at lunch he sees a cat head in his bag…but it’s gone when he makes Amanda look at it.

This kind of thing is common in Goosebumps, but it’s always something I like, it’s kinda physiological even if I know what’s more or less going on here. He tells Amanda the full story and she thinks he’s just stressed given they killed a cat and stole another one.

That’s ….kinda plausible from their perspective, so good on you. But this was all Amanda’s idea, so its kind of her fault either way.

He goes back to his lunch bag which now has a d ead mouse in it. Again with the animal death. He goes to his locker and we get a false scare where a shoe falling out is mistaken for a cat. I know he’s on edge, but come on. To be fair, even he calls himself for being that stupid. Do I even need to be here?

He then finds himself dealing with his invisible cats but suddenly he can actually see them now. The attack him but when someone walks in, they vanish. This is a bit more tense of a situation than you’d expect given it’s about vanishes cats and whatnot.

I also like how Mickey flat out says she does not expect the cats to be here when that person walks in. This kid is too self aware.

Later, he’s walking home when the Cat Heaven guys pop up. They care so much about the catnapping they chase Mickey back into the school where he hides in a locker. Will anyone find it weird these guys randomly went in and chase a student?

Somehow I really doubt it, knowing this world.

Mickey waits and it seems like the guys are gone and with some help he gets out of the locker. He leaves and yep, no one ever seemed to find the appearance of the cat store dudes weird at all. Of course.

He makes it to the neighbor’s house to check on Bella, but he notices something odd. See, Bella 1 got a chunk of tail missing thanks to Amanda’s gum. Bella 2 has that same chunk of fur missing.

DUN DUN DUN, it’s a Zombie/Ghost Cat!

His reaction is to take Bella 2 back to Cat Heaven. Well, I suppose if anyone is gonna solve your ghost cat problem, it’s gonna be the place it came from. Fair enough. Natrually, when he gets there, the guys pop up like magic.

‘That’s why we’ve been trying to catch you. I had to tell youyou can’t bring the cat back”

And he didn’t want to do us until you wanted to get him, wah wah. Wouldn’t it be easier to just do nothing and cross this bridge when you come to it?

You can’t bring that dead cat back here”

Well, you just let the twist slip.

With that, Mickey is forced to leave. Yeah, don’t explain any of this to him, he totally won’t come back to question further.

He goes to the house and meets up with Amanda, only to find the living room full of cats. At this point I’m not sure if I should referencing Nine Lives or that Love Ty-angle subplot. Let’s nope there’s no racism here.

And then the neighbors show up, having come home early without calling first. Jerks. The kids suck it up and tell them the truth about what is going on. And they believe it. Because…

Bella was a dead cat from the beginning. Bela died 4 years ago”

DUN DUN DUN! Didnt’ see that part coming, at least.

I’ll make this short and sweet”

Good.

Bella died 4 years ago but someone told about the place cats who die violent deaths go. They specific the last part, because I guess who have peaceful deaths go elsewhere? But yeah, that store is literally cat heaven.

Well, the cats in the main store are normal but that room is full of dead cats. So is it just cats from this city, ais there a Cat Heaven for every town for what? You can cheat death as long as the cat doesn’t leave the house, and if they do they reenact their violent death. That’s weirdly specific and it’s a good thing a car happened to be there this time.

The cats that are here now are from that back room, as they escaped. By the way, they should have called the store and told them about the cat sitter in case it dies and they gotta get her back. Did they not expect the cat to die again under these 2?

‘”Only the cat’s true owner can carry it out of the store?”

Then you should have told these kids about that so they don’t do all this! They wouldn’t believe but it’s better than saying nothing. If someone else takes the cat, they become evil. Another oddly specific rule.

You’ve upset the whole cat universe’

There’s a sentence I never thought I would read.

Because he let those cats out (insert who let the dogs out joke here), they will haunt him forever. Pretty cruel for a mistake YOU can be blamed for. I mean, geez guys.

Mickey runs out but only get something from home that can help: His pet mouse Zorro that I forgot to mention as he was not important until now. He goes back to the cats and puts Zorro down…and tells the cats to chase him. Before he did that, he said this:

I’m Sorry Zorro. I’m really going to miss you fella. But I need you to save my life today”

Yep, he’s sacrificing his mouse’s life. It’s a bit cruel but is kind of a nice moment as a last resort thing. This works as the cat’s chase the mouse and get killed again. And with them dead again, …problem solved.

We couldn’t return the Dead Cats to Cat Heaven, but they could return themselves!’

That was…too easy. And given Bella does this a lot, you shouldn’t be shocked this worked. So the cats can’t escape Cat Heaven on their own? Lamest Zombie Cats ever.

The Caplans are still gonna get Bella back as she is usually nice when they get here. Cheating Death ftw! So the day is saved and we cut to later as Mickey and Mom are out driving.

He sees a store called…Mouse Heaven. Okay does every animal have a Heaven on Earth? Really brings new morning to Heaven is a place on Earth. He goes in and yep, Zorro is there. But not in a back room so I guess others taking him is easier.

Should I bring him home?”

The end. But there’s still the wrap around, so let’s finish that. Not much to say though, the Storykeeper says cool story bro and makes a lot of jokes about how awful his living quarters are.

We don’t find out if Mickey cheated death or not. I guess there’s an interesting moral thing but it’s Goosebumps, it ain’t that deep.

A new guest comes in named Steven Sweeney, he has a story called Night of the giant everything.

There’s always room for one more scream”

The end. Yeah, every wrap around is like that. It gets the done but we’ll skip them as they don’t get more interesting.

Final Thoughts:

This was…actually of good, although still flawed. My biggest problem is the plot happens due to stupidity on the Caplan’s part. If they at least tried to tell them anything, this wouldn’t happen. At ;least make them evil to give them an excuse.

Plus, how did they know the cat becomes evil when others take her? There’s more the are not telling.

But I can forigve that to enjoy this story. It is basic but thankfully in a good way and they do make it different from Cry of the Cat, even if I admit to enjoying that more due to how insane it is.

This gets kind of creepy sometimes with the ways the cats follow him. That gives this it’s edge, plus some amusing interactions and Mickey being self aware than what I expected. That ending was nice too, for what it was.

It’s simple but overall it more enjoyable than I expected. Nothing too special but I actually like it. Huh, was not expecting to like this more than Arc 2 but there you go!

Grade: B

Huh, off to a good start with this one. Let’s hope that keeps up next month with some shrinking action. …Not like that.

See ya.

Posted in Book Reviews, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Out of Jimmy’s Head-Talent Show

Hello, Spongey here.

Cartoon Network is hitting a slight rut at the moment. As you all know, TTG is becoming their Spongebob to the point where they air more than any other show. Not to mention their lackluster new shows last year.

But they still run mostly good shows like Steven Universe, Clarence, and We Bare Bears, and really like a couple are bad mediocre like the rest at least having something to like to an extent.

Which of course means CN is doing horribly and it’ the end of the world. Or at least that’s what everyone says for some reason. I mean, geez talk about people being Chicken Littles. Sure, they have issues but it’s not the end of the world.

They do have business issues (Not giving Regular Show a marathon before ending and doing a TTG instead),but at least they aren’t mistreating a creator and then forcing him to apolgozie or some crap like that. (Looking at you, Nick).

They have problems but let’s not cry end of the world yet, or post YouTube videos with clickbait garbage thumbnails. The two reasons I’m being nice is that they at least have mostly good shows and …..still better than in the late 2000’s. Infact, to prove you to CN could be worse, I’m going back to a time so bad it makes even the manliest men crap their pants just thinking about it.

That’s right, we are talking about….their Live Action Shows.

That sound you heard was everyone reading this crapping their pants.

Yeah, as you may recall, because cartoons were getting weaker, Live Action was becoming more popular, especially on Disney Channel. Live Action slowly started taking over on the networks.

So Cartoon Network decided to cash in. It started small with some experiments that did “well’ enough to warrant ….CN Real. And more pants have shit in them. In 2009, CN Aired NO Original Cartoons. NONE.

Instead we got Live Action shows, most of which were disposable reality shows I thankfully can’t review. Out of this, the only ones that were at all okay were the two Scripted Shows, but they ended quickly because while they were decent, they had no business being on Cartoon Network.

The block bombed and CN learned their lesson. They green lit Adventure Time and the rest is history. ….Until Incredible Crew but that’s another story. You get the point, but today we’re going back to where it all started.

In 2006, they aired movie called Re-Animated, a Live Action/Animated Hyrbird film about a kid who get hurt so badly he needed a brain transplant, and the brain came from a Discount Walt Disney. Getting this new brain made him…the same but now he sees cartoon characters.

.Yeah, there’s a reason The Cartoon Hero called a DCOM on Crack. I haven’t seen it and honestly I don’t feel like tracking it down, plus the reviews I’ve seen/read give my enough detail to get by. It was not too good it seems, but it was a “Hit” so they made a show of it.

To be fair, this at least had animation but it lead to CN doing more Live Action so it gets hate for that. It’s odd that it made them want to do this again because the show bombed hard. It ran for 7 months of 20 episodes, and was dropped so hard that the show is mostly seen as Lost Media.

That’s how much CN Regrets the show, it’s very buried. Yet I tracked down the first 4 episodes, lucky me. Hell, even the creators have said they dislike it, because the network messed with it a lot. (The writers strike happened and it prevented the writers from being involved in editing and post-production, which leads to a huge problem we’ll get to)

They did however say this lead to them meeting some cool people who have gone on to do better things, so they say it wasn’t’ all bad. Credit to them for looking on the bright side, I guess.

You’re experience is a lot like America’s Experience”

(SOURCE FOR THAT: http://nerdist.com/nerdist-writers-panel-48-animation-celebration/ Skip to 1 Hour 6 Minutes for it)

(Side note, Tim had much better live action luck with PBS’ The Odd Squad later on)

It’s safe to say the story behind this show is better than any actual episode. I did see the film when it aired and saw a couple eps of this but I have little memory because even I wasn’t crazy about it back in 2007.

But for a while, I did assume people just hated it due to being Live Action and not anything else. It does have less hate than what was on the CN Real Block because at least this has animation in it, but most people still hate to this day.

After finding some episodes, I watched the first episode to give it an honest chance. And I disliked it very much. I skimmed through the other eps I found and it didn’t get too much better. You know, I’ll give anything a chance but this show still sucks.

It is review worthy bad, and we’ll going over it today. We don’t usual cover pilot episodes since the show is finding itself but even by pilot standards this is bad, and it’s easier than going through the other episodes, you know?

For this review, we’ll forgot it aired on CN. It’s honestly bad enough on it’s own without the fact that CN aired it. We’ll judge it purely on it’s own. I normally wouldn’t dig up something like this, but ….i felt like it and this will make people think before saying CN is at rock bottom NOW.

So, let us regrettably take a peek inside Jimmy’s Head..

This, is Talent Show

Writers: Tim McKeon and Adam Pava. (The Director is moslty known for Disney Sitcoms and some DCOM’s. Explains too much)

So this is the first episode of the first Live Action show on Cartoon Network. How does the theme song (that is far more enjoyable than the actual show) start?

Let’s see if you can tell what’s wrong with this picture”

.Onto the episode.

The episode starts with Jimmy in class , with Stereotypical Boring Teacher #4445. Here we already see one huge problem with the show, as most of his rambling is followed by…this.

FAKE AUDIENCE: Hahahah

That’s right, this show has a freaking laugh track. This normally wouldn’t be so bad…but this is a single camera show. On top of that, this was one of the results of executive meddling I mentioned. They added the laugh track 8 episodes in, but put it into previous eps for ReRuns. I was “lucky” enough to find that version.

The laugh track is incredibly obnoxious and distracting, because Single Camera Shows like this are written differently in terms of humor, because they know there won’t be a laugh track. But there was and it’s gotta be the worst one I’ve ever heard.

It makes every bad joke worse, and there’s a lot of them.

One of Jimmy’s cartoon pals, Tux, voiced by Tom Kenny in his 2nd worst 2007 role, tries to lighten things up with his stand up. Unless you have some Squirrel jokes, I’m not interested. He tells jokes that are supposed to be bad, but the fake audience laughs anything. Wow.

This is just painful”

I agree Jimmy.

Some people have restless leg, Jimmy happens to have the brain of a dead cartoonist”

Holy crap, a funny line!

The announces …turn on. Like, no one turns on the tV, they just magically start, and Jimmy’s Dad, the consuler I think, announces the upcoming talent show.

Everyone is special, but of course there will be me mockery for the least special act”

Wow, you’re an asshole. Jimmy walks with his token weirdo black friend, and bumps into his female friend that he has a crush on. Yeah, these characters as one dimensional and cliché as you would expect.

The acting isn’t much better but to be fair, there’s not exactly much you can do with this materiel. He tries to keep cool but just does something embarrassing. Ugh, another show that thinks having a creative concept excuses them from doing anything creative at all.

I don’t get your Dad’s talent show, if it’s supposed to make people feel special,why is it a competition”

Hey, I point out the plot problems around here!

That night , we meet the villain Sonny who is always trying to steal Jimmy’s brain to get the cartoon. His subplot in this episode is pointless but he’s one of two tolerable characters so I don’t care.

I’ll get these cartoons Out of Jimmy’s Head-”

Roll credits!

He has this bag of money he talks to, because…Comedy. Then his scene ends. We cut to the talent show trouts, where we see a sign saying No Yodeling, causing one stereotype to leave. …This from early in September 2007 so…did P&F Rip this off?

We get the obligatory bad audition montage which has Dad being a dick some more. If this wasn’t Jimmy’s Dad this wouldn’t be quite as bad but he Is. Before Jimmy goes up, the friend gets cold feet and Jimmy is forced to go up by himself.

Tux joins him and he’s really annoying with his constant bad jokes he forces on Jimmy. Yes, he’s supposed to be a bit annoying but they go too far. They overhear him telling the joke he suggested was not funny, and he is asked to speak up.

Uh…i got a friend whose jokes are staler than an old box of cereal. I’ve got 2nd hand coats with better materiel”

…Uh….okay, why are you randomly being a dick? Yes, we are doing the Squirrel Jokes plot, with Tom Kenny to remind me of a better show I could be watching. But besides being cliché and overdone, notice how there’s NO TRANSITION to him dong this.

In that SpongeBob episode, his jokes bomb, so he panics and relies on a cheap mean gag that he does in good fun at first. Here, he does it for really no reason and it comes across as him just being a jerk!

You immediately failed at this plot. That takes SERIOUS talent! Honestly, his zings aren’t even that funny. He then raps his insults, because they want me to suffer. This somehow goes over well, and then he goes home.

Female Friend complains about the show again, to Jimmy’s Mom.

Do you not have a talent?”

…Wow, at least Dad is meant to be a jerk all the way through. Then the male friend gets the shits because COMEDY.

The other cartoon friends chastise him for mocking Tux. Tux tries to pretend he’s okay, but he’ clearly bothered by it since he’s doing a crap joke but keeping the act up.

Cool, thanks”

Jimmy, you’re a dumbass.

Sonny does more evil stuff and bump into Jimmy’s Sister, who is an alien. I’m not kidding. She is. This was introduced in the movie….with no real explanation, she’s just…there from the ground up.

So um…what’s the point of the cartoon characters when there’s an actual alien in the cast? I mean, Kirby Buckets also does the Live Action Cartoon thing but at least there aren’t out there elements from the ground up, they come in later.

I wanted to avoid mentioning Kirby but because it does everything this show did better, I have to mention. It has a better reason for the cartoons to be there, and the main character isn’t as much of an asshole.

It’s got it’s own problems but it;s still better than this. To be fair, Alien Sister’s snark makes her the best character. We’ll still be skipping this subplot unless something interesting happens in it.

Back with Jimmy, the male friend got injured won’t stop whining in order to gain sympathy. I think I hate almost every character. Female Friend bitches about the show again and Dad jokes about her not having talent.

Didn’t we just do this? God, you’ve already run out of ideas for jokes. Also, Female Friend can’t act, moreso than anyone else. I see why the actress went on to be a singer instead.

After more Sonny, Dolly confronts Jimmy about Tux but he still claims Tux is fine when he clearly is not. Again, we’re reapting the same points from before only it’s even worse. And then a dimensional rift Sonny opened in his plot appears and Tux goes through it to run away.

What did I do?’

Sorry, this is so out nowhere I don’t feel sorry for either of you. Even Tux, because we never got scene of exploring his side on his own, we just saw him being sad next to Jimmy , that’s it. Squirrel Jokes was able to explore both sides and keep everyone likable in 11 minutes. There’s no excuse for this.

Also, Littlest Pet Show also did this better too, as far as the 22 minute examples go. I mean, the show tries to mix Iin jokes with the story, but it just makes the writing very poor as we saw there.

After we repeat yet another joke (the yodeling one, although they at least change it out with a different random talent), we move on to the talent show. I get that we need jokes here but they serve as padding which is another big problem with the episode.

Jimmy is here, as we didn’t have a scene of them scrambling to figure out where Tux is, or anything of the sort. In a competent show they would start to do this but they would be reminded of the show and rush there. But again, only a competent show would do that.

Tux sent me a post card from the other dimension!”

…HOW?! There’s a way to get to him then? Seriously, keep jokes away from important plot points! If Tux ust ran away normally without the portal joke this would make more sense!

It has given me a chance to do what I’ve always wanted to do: Spin forever in an empty void”

That just makes this more confusing.

Jimmy starts to regret his actions, in a rushed way that does not make up for anything. He goes up and tries out Tux’s bad jokes, again in a rushed way. Then for no reason the portal pops up so Tux can see this.

Tux comes out and then they do a little dance together which is of course awkward since only Jimmy can see him. Yeah, no real talk with Tux, all is just forgiven for no real reason. The transition from the over the top perfomance he has with the Tux to the awkward one the audience sees is…kinda funny, I guess.

Female Friend joins in to pad this out, instead of using that time to write in actually good scenes. While this is going on, Jimmy’s lovely Dad and sister sneak out. I hate all of you.

Thanks Kid”

After some quick lines, the episode ends. Yeah, an ending as rushed and badly written as the rest of this. My god, I don’t miss this era.

Final Thoughts:

Yeah, people have a reason to hate this show. I’ll just say I tried to watch the 2nd episode but I quick less than 5 minutes in because the laugh track is EVEN WORSE there. Wtiting seemed slightly better, but the charterers were also no more interesting.

Even by first episode standards, this was pathetic. It makes the show itself seem bad, because the characters are not used well. I know they had a whole movie (which I may watch just to see if that was a “better” introduction) but the first episode of Jimmy Neutron, another show spun off from a movie, used most of it’s characters well enough. This did not.

They all seem either bland, or jerk-ish and most are barely used. Male Friend only shines, and of the cartoons only Tux does anything with Dolly just being support for that one scene. The characters we do get are not good.

One big issue with this show in general is that it’s clearly trying to rip off other Kidcoms. I’ve seen everything in this show on Disney Channel and Nick and none of the tropes work here. Even the cartoon aspect feels wasted here as only Tux is important and he’s annoying.

But back on the episode itself, the writing is crap. The humor and story seriously clash so important parts are shown as just dumb jokes. The humor itself is bad as it is but it really messes with the story. Some shows can mix humor and story well, this cannot. No part of the story is played seriously.

Which is bad since Squirrel Jokes managed to do a version of this story that was mostly comedy focused, while still making the writing good, in half the time. It’s not perfect but it gets all the important elements right enough given the format.

This wastes it’s time with a pointless subplot and jokes that aren’t funny. Because of things work out, Jimmy seems like too much of a jerk with no transition to him telling rude jokes and noticing Tux is sad unitl the last minute.

Him learning his lesson is beyond rushed and they use jokes to excuse rushing writing. Man, this writing was such a mess when it comes to the plot, the jokes and the story flow. They couldn’t have pulled this off worse, barely anything worked here.

Are there worse shows out there? Sure, but I still don’t like it as it makes things I might usually be okay with hard to tolerate. Add a laugh track and you get something hard to get through.

Needless to say, let us be glad CN learned their lesson. This show is bad and so is this episode. Bah, we’re done.

Grade: D

I hope this made you appreciate how things are now. This show is bad enough on it’s own but the fact that CN let it happen and mistreated the creators that bad is just…sad. CN may have issues now but we’re still far better off. Here’s to a brighter future.

I know what our next TV Review shall be and it’s gonna be a fun way. Join me…eventually as we go back to the world of subplots.

See ya.

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