Victorious-Tori Gets Stuck

Hello, Spongey here.

There won’t be much of an intro for this one. I’m not as passionate about this one but I felt I still had to tackle this one to complete the Dan Shcnider set. We went over Drake and Josh and Sam and Cat, so let’s look at one of his other big shoes.

…Yeah, no iCarly in this set of reviews because everyone knows what’s wrong with iMeetFred and the like. If I find a really bad one only a few people have discussed, I’ll look into it. As for now, let’s look into Victorious.

I feel the same about this one as I do with iCarly. It’s a weird kind of a guilty pleasure. Some of the time it was just another dumb guilty pleasure, but it has plenty of actually good moments and interesting episodes. And they both have real flaws that drag them down.

But in the end it’s alright, mostly cuz I like the actors involved. The flaws are about the same as in the other Dan shows, with mean humor and all that. This did have a bit more than iCarly though, leading to a few…problematic episodes.

But I’m more interested in talking about Jade. She’s the obligatory female character that people hate. As for me, I give her a pass, more so than Sam at least. See, with how she’s written, she’s not really supposed to be all that likable to begin with. She’s not exactly a villain like Megan, but she is supposed to be the weird bitch-y one and she is sort of dark with her humor.

It’s hard to describe, but she’s not a “hero” like Sam is supposed to be. But of course, there are many times where she goes too far. This episode is an example of that. It actually has one saving grace that almost made me drop this from my hit list, but I went through with it anyway.

So let’s take a look.

This, is Tori Gets Stuck

Writer: Jake Farrow

The episode starts in class with Sizowitz doing his thing.

“Let’s discuss acting!”

Since we’re in a nick Kidcom, I don’t think this will be a polite discussion.

More spefically, he shows them the cast list for a play they are doing. Jade wants the lead because…reasons. Yeah, here’s our first problem. The whole hinges on her wanting the lead…and we are not given any reason to why should she would want to be the lead.

I’ve never seen her as attention hog-y and this is a fairly cheery part. Not exactly fit for her. So the whole catlst for the plot doesn’t even make sense!

Spoilers, she didn’t get the lead. Instead, the part will be played by Tori. Jade…isn’t happy. But she is her understudy, meaning if Tori gets sick or something, Jade gets the part.

“Yeah, if you get sick…or go missing…or get hit by a bus!”

….I’m scared. Wait, if you do end up doing something bad, now everyone will suspect you and boom, no part for you.

After the intro, the director tells Jade to stomp on an apple, it’ll make her look like more of an apple. Her anger is…more uncomfortable than funny. Tori gets a call from “Some guy who works for lady gaga”.

Apparently he claims they are looking for backup dancers for a music video and they want her. She buys this for a bit because she’s an idiot. They don’t even try to fool the audience because it’s so obviously a trick from Jade.

Thankfully this hits her right away and calls her out on it. And yeah, this is most of the episode. Jade trying to get Tori off the play. Besides the reason I mentioned, this mostly doesn’t work because…they go too far with it, as you’ll see.

We get a peek of the play which is…well an accurate portrayal of a high school play. Some guy shows up with flowers that she’s allergic to. She catches onto Jade’s plan before she touches them. I swear, this kind of thing could work but I don’t know how they could have made it work better.

Aside from fixing the ending but we’ll get to that. They hear that Robbie is in the hospital and they go there to see what’s up. This is basically a contrived way to get us the most horrifying part of the episode.

Robbie explains what happened. As a kid, he swallowed a toy car and it just now became a problem. It took 10 years for that thing to try to come out and get stuck? Then again I’m no medical experiment, but I’m sure Jake Farrow isn’t either.

They can’t just slice him open to get the car out because he has a rare blood type and they don’t have enough. And of course Tori happens to have that type. She has to stay here to give blood and she will miss the play.

Yes, this was Jade’s idea. It’s convenient Robbie got hurt so this could happen. Jade had no part in this so it’s just sort of weird.

While this is going on, there’s a weird subplot with Trina. See, she’s playing a character who has some weird disease and her coughing and hacking isn’t accurate, so while she’s here she finds a guy with that disease to perfect her coughing.

It’s…not funny. It’s just really awkward. Hey, wouldn’t this plot make more sense with Trina? She’s the bitch who wants the spotlight all the time. Anyway, Tori gives some blood …which Jade takes so they have to get more blood.

And this is the horrifying part. This is not the worst thing she could do but…yikes, that is harsh. She’s gonna miss the play as it is so why go even further? Plus, the hospital has some issues if she can just take it easily with no one seeing.

Here’s a way to fix this: Don’t have Jade so anything as messed as this. It gets worse later. Also, Tori is in fact stuck at this hospital. ..Yeah, lame way to get the title in.

Also, Robbie has Spongebob underwear.

Tori gives another pint…and the packet of blood is ruined thanks to Robbie. Okay, this hospital officially sucks if this happens. And come on! This isn’t evne Jade’s fault, it’s just contrived torture for the sake of it!

So she ends up giving more and makes it on the time for the play, but Jade does not interfere, mostly cuz Tori so woozy she can’t act right anyway. Why was she even allowed to go up there after giving 3 pints of blood anyway?

Woozy Tori is kind of amusing, I suppose. Eventually she faints.

JADE: I’ll go get her dress off

…No comment.

Sikowitz stops Jade even through she’s the understudy. Why?

“You’ve been acting like a gank act all week”

…Wait…Jade actually loses as a result of what she did? …Holy crap, one of these shows managed to know that bad people should be punished!

I almost let this episode off scot free due this, and almost reviewed Brain Squeezers. I have slightly to more to say on that one (which is equally bad, maybe even worse)….but it’s still flawed.

She loses…but gets no real comppuance. She doesn’t get a part. That’s it. With that the blood thing, she needs actually punishemtn. These plots usually work if the bad guy is punished in the end.

Maybe you could rework it so the blood part Is brought up at the end and Jade has that blood type, so she has to give blood and miss the thing, after somehow getting Tori hurt ot suck. It would be funny karma

But instead, she just loses. It’s a step in the right direction but just a small one.

The part instead goes to Sikowitz. Now that’s funny. And thankfully this is where it ends, on an actually funny part. They got the ending half right. Now try making it so the rest is funny and you have a good episode!

Final Thoughts:

Like I said, I almost didn’t’ review this one because the villain loses, making it better than most torture episodes I cover. But I decided why not because I had some commets about this kind of thing than I did with Brain Squeezers. I’ll do a Leftovers post covering episodes I didn’t fully review, so I’ll cover it then.

But yeah, okay ending aside this episode was very very not good. The main problem is that the writers once again don’t know how to torture humor. A plot with Jade (or anyone) stopping her from being in the play could have worked.

But the way to do if through some zany schemes. Keep it goofy and then her just losing would be a lot more stastying. The problem is that her plans get way too harsh and the pacing is too slow is to really make up for these problems.

She has like two plans before we move on to the Robbie stuff. My suggestion would have fit more, because there’s a lot of filler at the hospital like the stuff with Trina. Also, give us an actual reason for Jade wanting the lead so badly because as it is, it doesn’t feel 100 percent right. That’s a nitpick but it does add up with all the other problems

Needless to say, a lot of this isn’t funny. Some of the gags are kind of amusing but none of the torture is all that funny. Jade losing puts it above #MadAboutShoe or iMeetFred but it doesn’t’ make up for the other flaws.

The worst part is Robbie’s part at the end. Again, it wasn’t Jade’s fault so it just feels contrived. At least before it was coming from a person with an actual motivation!

So yeah, It’s too harsh, it’s a lame torture episode, it doesn’t make much sense and it’s poorly paced. Pretty typical aside from the blood stuff, but bad-ness is bad no matter what the level is.

I don’t feel as strongly about this one due to the ending, so sorry for not getting too angry. Brain Squeezers would have been even weaker so be glad I had SOMETHING to say.

I’m sure this show has worst episodes than these, and I’m even surer that you will all tell me. For now, this episode is bleh.

Grade: D-

Next is something fairly tame, and maybe not even bad. But it’s something I think deserves to be discussed.

See ya.

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Top 40 Next Best Phineas and Ferb Songs (Part 3)

Hello, Spongey here.

Welcome to part 3 of my 2nd huge look at good Phineas and Ferb songs. We’re close to done, and as I established this time, with this one we’re getting into the real songs. The ones that are in my current top 40, or as just as good as them. You can consider the first half the Honorable Mentions and this half the half list.

First, Recap:

40. Doofenshmirtz Evil Hideout Vacation Swap

39. Happy New Year

38. Going Deep Into Your Mind

37. Extraordinary

36. Tomorrow is This Morning Again

35. Brand New Best Friend

34. Interface

33. Giant 3D Scrapbook

32. In The Empire

31. No Momo

30. Shark of Danville Harbor

29. All the Convoluted Reasons we pretend to be Divorced

28. Lies

27. Troy Song

26. Untieable Knot

25. Get Down

24. Half a Day

23. Livin’ With Monkeys

22. Livin’ in a Funhouse

21. Brave New World/Professer Elemental Future Past

Now onto my Top 40 Next Best Phineas and Ferb Songs (Part 3)

20. OWCA’s Going Down [Phineas and Ferb Save Summer]

Written by Mike Bell, Danny Jacob, Martin Olson, and Dan Povenmire

Save Summer had the fewest songs of any specials, but they still managed to be memorable. As much as I love Irving’s big solo, I have to give the spot to this song. It’s always great when this show uses it’s songs to homage certain styles or specific songs.

And it was only a matter of time before they did West Side Story. The members of LoveMuffin are capturing the OWCA agents for reasons I may or may not get into later. The point is they do it West Side Story style.

The first awesome thing about this song is how surprisingly competent the members of Lovemuffin are here. Given who is in their ranks, it’s really cool to see them take over so quickly. This isn’t the first time they did that, since they somehow captured all the agents back in Robot Rodeo.

I think when they work together, they do a good job. And they are even better when they have a song to go with it. This song is pretty simple when it comes to everything, especially the beat.

It’s the sort of tune you expect from this style and that’s about it, and everything else is simple too. But just the style and situation is enough to make it work really well. Plus, it manages to flow pretty well and put in everything you need for a good song.

Every aspect works to use the style perfectly, and it all works. The lyrics basically have them talking about how they are taking OWCA down, and we get the usual clever stuff you expect.

Don’t eyeball me,
Just look askance,
Your team was run aground,
You say you didn’t eat those plans,
But here’s the ultrasound.

There are other songs that are better with lyrics, and everything else, but the style makes this one stand out. I also really like the build up before the song actually starts. It’s pretty cool.

I can’t really talk about the singing since most of it is everyone singing at once instead of just one guy. They do pretty well but I can’t exactly “review” the singing. I do like having them all sing at once, at least.

Later down the list, I’ll go into how some P&F songs work as parody’s and how they get it right, but now I’ll say this is a good example of that. It does a certain style but it makes sense in the show’s universe and they put their own spin on it with the humor.

It’s a style I happen to like so that’s why it’s on the list. Plus the situation itself is awesome and every aspect works like usual. It’s funny, it flows and it has a situation that’s really cool to see, with some awesome moments.

It’s one of those songs where they didn’t have to try hard to make it great, since the concept is just great on it’s own. Thankfully, they put enough effort for me to love it. It’s another case where the nature of the song leads to me making the section short.

So in short, this is another example of how they can capture a certain style perfectly, with some funny lyrics, catchy beat, good flow, and an awesome situation.

With a song this good, I don’t mind seeing OWCA go down.

19. Let’s Take a Rocket Ship to Space [Out to Launch]

Written by Jon Colton Barry, Swampy Marsh, Martin Olson, Dan Povenmire, and Bobby Gaylor

Hey, it’s a Season 1 Song! I almost forgot about those.

This is yet another song that creates a certain mood. While Phineas and Ferb try to create their Rocketship, this jazzy song pops up. I’m surprised this show hasn’t odne jazz that often, because this song did it amazingly well.

This song is really relaxing with the atmosphere it creates. Once again the lyrics, tune, and singing all work to create this effect. I know I say that a lot but a lot of songs do that and it’s really impressive.

I think the tune stands out the most. The whole Swing/Jazz thing works so well and it’s really catchy and one done on top of being relaxing. It’s the kind of song I just like listening to, more so than some of the crazier ones.

I especially like the little bits in between the verses, it’s really nice. This is a very well made song, especially for Season 1.

The singing really helps too. Danny Jacob is especially good here and his voice fits. It’s weird how he can some heavy songs than also come back and do this. It’s really impressive and he helps make this song so good.

This is a case where the soundtrack version helped it, even though it’s not extended, sadly. The extra oomph that Soundtrack quality gives it just makes it even better. There are some slight changes in lyrics, and one bit from the credits version makes it in, but it’s mostly the same.

It’s okay in length but being a bit longer would help it a lot. The whole song has a high quality to it that a lot of Season Songs didn’t quite have, even the best ones like Busted. I can see it being in later seasons, even though it’s a lot simpler.

It’s one of the more “repayable” songs on here as I found myself listening to it more than the other entries on here. It’s just so relaxing and well done. Every aspect works really well, with the tune being incredibly well made and the signing being quite solid.

The lyrics mostly just add to the other stuff, but of course they work very well:


Let’s take a saucer to the stars
Look out moon, move over Mars
The Martians all rock
To Basie and Bach
So bring your maracas and your jazz guitars

The tune and singing are the strengths rather the lyrics but they are good too.
This song is a bit forggont among the other Season 1 classics, but it does deserve to be higher on lists.

This whole episode is a bit underrated due to all the other 22 minute eps being more memorable, but this one did have a lot of memorable moments. Most people remember the other song in the episode more for reasons.

This song is just further proof that these guys do any style justice and create magic. It creates an excellent atmosphere and it’s really enjoyable and well made. It also has some funny visuals with the failed attempts at making the rocket ship, which has a weird but funny punchline.

The only reason this wasn’t on my orginal list is that others just stood out more, but it’s still great.

Once again, that’s all I got. It’s a really made swing/jazz song with great atmosphere and every element working very well. It’s a great classic that holds up very well.

And our next entry is equally relaxing.

18. Drusselstein Driving Test Waltz [The Doonkleberry Imperative]

Written by Jay Lender and Martin Olson

Fooled you! Jokes aside, I think this is the funniest song in the whole show.

Let me explain. Doof goes back to Drusselstein to renew his driver’s license and he must take his driver’s test. To get why this is funny, I have to set it up further.

Doof is nervous and makes excuses not to start, so the teacher calls him a choker and has a goat push the car off a cliff so it goes way down a hil. Then suddenly a German sounding guy pipes in singing about how dangerous the test is and how he should look out for stuff.

Just the context makes this one hilarious. It comes right out of nowhere and is so crazy. No one expected a random German Waltz to pipe in while taking his driving test. The song itself is incredibly random and the context, along with the content makes it really hilarious.

It’s hard to really explain the song itself but I’ll try. The Waltz style of the song makes it really unique and it works really well. The tune isn’t the most melodic on its own but it’s really cool and gives the song its edge.

For a joke song, it flows pretty well as a song as it goes on with its insanity. They pack in tons of words into a short time and it takes advantage of every second. As I said, every aspect adds to the hiltiry of the song, and the unique tune and flow is part of that.

The most impressive aspect is the singing. It’s Aaron Jacbob again and holy crap he’s amazing. He can do this German voice really well while still being a solid singers. He takes this craziness really seriously and helps make this even funnier.

As you can tell, he loves crazy songs. This is one song I can’t sing properly due to the accent, but it is fun to sing due to how crazy it gets near the end.

The lyrics mostly describe the crazy things that happen and the dangerous of the test, and each bit is funnier the last. There’s so much creativity on display here, it’s insane.

Gas! Shift! Brake! (ooh…)
Drinking coffee’s a big mistake
Try not to plunge into ze lake
Ven you’re doing ze Drusselstein Driving Test Valtz

I also like how the intense the song is. The situation itself is pretty freaky despite being played for laugh, and you can just feel it. By the end, the song gets crazier and it works really well. I actually think this works better in the episode, than on the soundtrack.
The visuals and sound effects really add to the comedy, and this is the type of song you watch rather than listen to, hence why it’s not higher. However, it works enough on it’s own to be this high.

Everything about the song is just hilarious. The insane nature of it is enough to make it comedy gold, but the situation and visuals makes it even better. This whole scene is just off the wall hilarious. Besides everything I mentioned, there’s little moments like Perry writing his will.

It’s so random but it fits and made for one of the funniest scenes in the whole show. Plus, it’s a really well made song on it’s own with it’s tun and singing. They did another song like this, with the same singer, with The Dance of Contrion. That one is good too but not as funny as this one.

By the way, this test is really unfair. Even taking the goat thing away, you still have to drive down this dangerous hill and go around this crazy city. There’s an actual game of this on the Disney website, and after playing it, I see why Doof failed. Fun game, too and this song playing is part of the fun.

This is one of the most creative songs in the show, because no one would have predicted this type of song coming. Even in Season 3, they had amazing and creative ideas to spare.

As a whole, this is a hilarious song which a perfect situation and a unique style that makes it the highlight of the episode. It’s a fun ride that makes you really glad you don’t live in Drusselstein.

Now we’re getting into the real songs. The rest of the 17 songs on the list, are currently in my top 40, and we have older songs I grew to like more and newer songs. Let’s so this starting with …my actual Number 40 spot now.

17. Summer Belongs to You/Summer (Where Do We Begin) [Across the 2nd Dimension]

(SBTY written by Dan Povenmire, Swampy Marsh, Martin Olson, and Danny Jacob)

(Summer WDWB written by Dan Povenmire, Swampy Marsh, Martin Olson, Jon Colton Barry, and Robert F Hughes

Yes, that’s right. We have a tie. But I don’t think that’s the part you are shocked about. You’re more shocked to see the former song here at all, or if you don’t know me, to see it so low or not on the first list.

Hype Backlash is funny. When something is popular, people are bound to hate it just because it’s popular. I’ll be the first to say hype Backlash is dumb but I played right into it. The big emotional songs tend to be the most popular, and they just simply aren’t my favorites.

So seeing it be called the best thing ever when I thought it wasn’t was…yeah. I never disliked the song, though. It was always on my top 100 somewhere, but I just didn’t get an appreciation for it until later.

I do apologize for that mess. As for the other song, I never had a beef with it but I did have a similar issue with it getting a lot of praise. In the end, I like both songs about equally and there’s nothing you will do to change that.

With that said, they are both great in their own way. I’ll be talking about the latter a bit more cuz SBTY has been talked about so much that I don’t have a ton of new things to say,

But let’s start with that one. It’s pretty much the perfect ending song for this special. The big strength is how much it perfectly caps off the story, by displaying its core themes and showing how far the characters have gone.

The song is also incredibly upbeat, from the lyrics to the visuals. Those are the main things that make this song so popular. The core themes of the show are displayed here in a pretty memorable fashion.

I think the tune might be my favorite part of this song. It’s so catchy and I love the trumpets going on here. It does a good job building up to the chorus, which is the strongest part.

That’s not to discredit the rest of the song. The visuals, while basic are just as upbeat as the rest of the song. The lyrics do a good job at telling the moral and showing what the characters went through, especially Candace’s part:

I traveled halfway ’round the world
And almost turned and ran away
But you helped me get my courage back
So now I’ve got to say
That though I’ve often thought of you
As just a nuisance and a bother
Today I can’t imagine
Having better little brothers!

I think that’s my favorite part, in both lyrics and vocals. Oh, and those are great too. Putting Vincent, Alyson, and Ashley in a song will do that. And in the orginal demo track, they have Olivia Olson and Danny Jacob to make it even better.

Though I prefer Ashley’s version of Candace’s part, since it sounds more personal that way. Everyone gives some of their best work, including Alyson. We’ll get back to her later down the list.

I’m surprised it flows as well as does, given its roughly 3 minutes, making it the longest song to be in an actual episode. (Kick it up a Notch is the longest original song though). It doesn’t get overly repetitive, at least not as much as some songs. (Cough you’re Not Ferb)

Now, if I all these nice things to say about it, why did I have an aversion to it? Why isn’t it any higher?

Well, it mostly ties into my personal musical tastes. As a Disney channel “Fan” you know they are very refined. Jokes aside, when it comes to music I tend to prefer stuff that’s more…specific rather than general.

You know, songs about a certain character or setting rather than a general type song. Something about more to it just one message or instrument, though it does depend on the context.

That’s why I tend to prefer emotional songs like Ducky Momo is my friend over something like Happy New Year, cuz it relates to you through something specific instead of something vague.

At least that’s how my P&F taste works. The more ambitious and odd songs such as Way of the platypus appeal to me more than something like this. I understand a lot of people prefer the emotional ones and I understand why. We all have different tastes and I get it.

With that said, I still dig this song because of the situation it talks about. The ordeal Candace and the others went through and all that. It uses enough specifics to make it special, and that tune is incredibly catchy.

But I do think they could have changed a few verses to specifically reflect other characters like Buford. Maybe they can rework the plot so Vanessa can be here to sing, I don’t know

Although another reason I wasn’t as rosey on this one for a while is that it was a bit…depressing for me. I don’t know why but when I thought about this song, I remembered all the emotion stuff in this episode and it got a bit too depressing for me.

So for a while I prefer hearing the song while watching the episode than on it’s own. Yes, it’s silly but I recently got over it. Now I think of it more highly and I love it.

Now onto Summer, Where do We begin. It’s a different beast from SBTY, as it serves as a mid-movie inspirational piece. Phineas-2 and Ferb-2 have no idea what Summer is and the boys use this to explain it.

So it doesn’t have quite the same emotion and it is more general ….yet I enjoy it more. It’s much more rocking and as a result it’s more fun to listen to it. It is also more creative lyrics as it lists stuff summer has.

Plus, it actually transitions into the P&F theme before they realize they are going too fast. Using a song in my top 5 is a good way to my heart.
However, it mixes fast paced catchy-ness with some softer parts. They juggle these two well and they build to the chorus perfectly. The soundtrack version even starts more slowly before really taking off, which I really like.

The lyrics do such a good job at capturing what Summer is and they use some good example:

Summer is ponds and pools and garden hoses, trying to beat the heat.
Summer, bicycles and roller skates and even just bare feet.

The creativity of the lyrics make this one stand out a bit more than the general lyrics of SBTY. As a song meant to inspire other character, it works very well. But since SBTY is far more meaningful, I can see some people like it more.

I like how this one has different sections that flow well together. It makes this one more creative in its composition. SBTY represents the themes of the show and the season itself is a backdrop. This one is about the actual Season and what it means to the characters.

Oh, and Phineas does a good job singing. Not much to say there. Though there are two different versions of the song with different singers. There’s the Danny Jacob version which served as a guide track for Vincent.

That one’s pretty good and I think Danny does a better job at the slower parts, while Vincent is better in the fast part. Though like with Ashley vs Olivia, Vincent singing it means more.

But I do like how in the Danny Version, it goes further into Today’s Gonna be a Great Day before he stops.

There’s also a Latin Spanish Rock cover by some band called Rock Bones. That one’s also really good, though being in Spanish it doesn’t have as much impact. They also did a Brazilin Portuguese version of that cover and the same review applies.

I have no special reason on this song for not liking it as much as other people. I just prefer more creative songs I guess. But I get the love for this one a bit more.

It does a great job being a mid movie inspirational song and it works on all fronts. It has creative lyrics, it’s sweet, it’s fun and it flows really well. It’s also a bit rock-y and I prefer rock to Pop any day of the week. Though I guess this is kind of pop-y.

Oh, and before I forget, there’s a joke in Fly on the Wall where the kids sing one bit of the song and..

“Yeah, we all know the song. But I’m not exactly sure how…”

Haw….wait that verse wasn’t even in the movie.

But anyway, both of these songs capture this scenarios really well and they both excel in every area. SBTY is very upbeat and with its themes, it’s a great cap to a great episode. Summer WDWB perfectly represents Summer and it’s really catchy.

Just cuz I don’t adore the songs as much as you doesn’t mean you should stop loving it. I don’t have to say it but these lists are all opinion based, so no one is wrong or right. Except me, I’m always right. …Plus, it’s now on my Top 40, just barely.

Besides, SBTY is more or less designed to the best. And when something is made to be the best, calling it your favorite is a bit…too easy. That’s why I prefer giving best awards to something I consider the best instead of the objective best. Hence why Nerds of a Feather is above SBTY. SBTY is the “Best” but I like NOAF more so that’s the favorite.

“But aren’t your favorite Season 1 and 3 episodes Dude we’re getting the band back together and Where’s Perry, which are meant to the best?”

Shut up.

I think the important lessons to learn are as follows: Don’t hate something cuz it’s popular, and my musical taste is kind of terrible. In the end, these songs are awesome, I just happen to like others more.

Though I don’t think SBTY isn’t the best objectively. A song way later down has that honor. If it makes you feel any better, putting these on my Top 40 knocked Gitchite Gitchie goo off the list. Yep, although if either of these 2 songs didn’t exist, I’d just tie GGG with the remaining one. All are great ‘overrated songs.

(GGG gets flack for being overrated but SBTY doesn’t for some reasons)

Weather you prefer it when Summer belongs to you, or when it begins, there’s no denying these songs are emotional, have catchy tunes, good singing, and great lyrics. I apologize for my aversions to them from before.

As a side note, someone refused to read my previous list because SBTY wasn’t on it. I hope no one else will be like that with this being low.

I think you get it. I suck and these songs rock. So let’s move on.

16. Floor After Floor [The Doof Side of the Moon]

Written by Martin Olson, Swampy Marsh, Dan Povenmire, and Jon Colton Barry

This entry seems a bit odd. I mean, it’s good but compared to other songs it doesn’t seem good enough to be higher than our last few entries. Well, I think this one’s great in a more subtle way. Let me explain.

The song revolves a giant building the boys are making, and the we see it going higher and higher as it’s being made. This song is a very simple one but it’s excucted in an impressive way.

Every aspect is rather simply but they combined to create a really cool song. Much like Rocketship, it is rather relaxing and well made. It starts out very simple but more is added to it as it goes along.

The tune itself is pretty simple but it manages to be pretty catchy, even at the start. The wiki doesn’t say the genre, and that’s likely cuz it’s hard to pin down. As the song goes along, there’s some singing that goes on at the same time, but then you realize another verse is pretty much being sung at the same time.

They switch a few times, and it keeps building until it gets to the awesome chorus. It gets repetitive here but it works due to how they built it up. It’s hard to explain but it’s a lot like…a building.

Yeah, it just keeps building with each part until it stands strong. That …was likely intentional. It’s really well done and it’s the kind of song you can’t really sing by yourself. It would be perfect as an acapella cover, actually.

I can’t really talk about the singing since it’s pretty normal. The singer adds to the feel of it but there’s nothing to discuss here. I don’t know even know who it is cuz the wiki says it’s Aaron Jacob, Danny Jacob, Dan, and Swampy. Somehow all at the same time. Huh.

The lyrics mostly have a bunch of fancy words about building but they do get lodged in your head thanks to the way the song is done.

Stacking steel, laying bricks,
Pounding nails, and moving up quick.
2-by-4s and RSJs,
Concrete blocks and bales of hay.

But really, it’s the flow and composition that makes this one stand out. It has so much going on but it flows so well. It’s very relaxing and fun to listen to it, with a lot to love. The visuals are also creative with how they make the building.

This song is brilliant in a very subtle way that’s more impressive than some other songs. It may not stick out as much as other songs in my top 40, but I think it’s awesome either way.

There’s a Special Feature on the “A Very Perry Christmas” DVD that goes into the making of the songs, and this one is used as the bias. It’s really interesting and this song certainly deserved to be used as an example. As such, the demo is just as good as the final version.

As a whole, this song is simple but quite brilliant in its execution and flow. It just keeps building to create a truly memorable and fun song. Sure, other songs might be better but I think it’s pretty awesome.

So yeah, I suppose we can keep on building to the next song. …Sigh, I hate myself.

15. Mix and Mingle Machine [Cheer up Candace]

Written by Jon Colton Barry, Micheal Diedrich, Martin Olson, Martin Olson, Dan Povenmire, and Perry Zombolas.

I said just a few entries ago that Drusselstein Driving Test Waltz was the funniest song in the show…but this is a close 2nd.

Phineas and Ferb make a machine that will help Candace meet a new person every 2 seconds, and there’s a song about it. The very nature of this song leads to a ton of gags. I mean, a new characters pops up every few seconds for a quick gag.

This allows the writers to really come up with creative ideas, and doing it in song makes it even better. This song is rather impressive. You gotta come up with a bunch of gags to use for each character, AND you gotta have them rhyme.

They managed to pull it off really well, and make it really catchy. I’m kind of surprised this song doesn’t get more attention, because it has great humor and flow. It goes from each character to the new, seamlessly while still being really funny.

Each character is memorable in their own way and each gag is funnier than the last. They come up with some really creative things here. The fact that each character is supposed to be random, gives the writers an excuse to have weird rhymes, and it fits.

The main chorus isn’t anything amazing but it is really catchy, and it’s the verses that stick out. I don’t want to spoil all the gags but trust me, they all work pretty well. Here’s a taste:

I raise rats.
My tooth fell out.
I love to dance when I have the gout.
I like to shoot a bow and arrow.
I like to dance just like a pharaoh.
I’m very small, I need a booster.
I’m being followed by a rooster.
Yeah, I’m followin’ him.

The only bad thing about this song is that the nature of it means it can’t be as grand or good as some other songs. It’s more a fast joke song than a real song, and while it works, it still means it has to be a bit lower on the list.

By the way, one gag has a guy taking off his pants and giving them to Candace. No comment.

I can’t comment on the signing since this is a spoken word song, but all the voices work pretty well and make each gag funnier. The chorus sounds pretty good but it’s done to make it sound like a bunch of people so I can’t comment on the singing there.

The song is mostly there to give us a bunch of gags and it works really well in that regard. While it’s not quite as crazy as Drusselstein Driving Test Waltz, the comedy is just as strong with all the different gags they come up with.

I think this one flows better as a song on its own, hence why it’s higher. While this song isn’t art by any means, it is impressive with how they make everything flow perfectly. It’s one of the more memorable gag songs, since it has many gags instead of just one.

I do wish it was longer, though. It’s got a decent runtime but I think it ends a bit too soon, but I guess I just didn’t want it to end.

It flows very well, it has creative lyrics, and tons of funny and creative gags. Wait, I said creative twice. Ah well. It’s a very enjoyable song that does what it does really well, and for that, I say it made a very good impression.

…But seriously, who let that guy who takes off his pants on there?

14. Frenemies [Lotsa Latkes]

Written by Dan Povenmire, Swampy Marsh, Martin Olson, and Robert F Hughes.

Sometimes just having a great concept will sell a song. In this case, it’s having Buford and Baljeet basically summing up their relationship. The title alone tells you all you need to know. My brother has this one as one his favorites, and I can see why.

I’ll get my only criticism out of the way: It’s one of those songs that is split up into sections throughout the episode. I hate it when they do that, it makes it feel disjointed and I can’t fully enjoy it while watching the episode.

But otherwise, this is one fun song. Yet again it leaves me with little to discuss but I’ll try. This is kind of like My Nemesis in that it’s a cheery song summing up a relationship and it’s even better than that one.

The context is that that they are doing a show tune to impressive some old people. The fact that they made this the subject of that song is really funny. This song perfectly sums up what their relationship is like, although it would fit Doof and Perry better. If Perry could sing.

The strength of this one is just the tone of all. The tune itself is incredibly catchy and from it we have some good chemistry between Buford and Baljeet. Just the whole situation is enough to make this one worthy of the list.

Despite the interruptions, it flows pretty well in each part. It’s just the transition to each part that is a bit messy. It’s a show tune sort of thing and it works perfectly for the situation and makes for a really catchy tune.

Naturally, they come with creative and fun ways to talk about their relationship. The lyrics have some funny comments coming from what these 2 say, and it just adds to the humor.

If I were dangling from a ledge he’d
Surely save me with a wedgie
I’m smart, perhaps a bit refined
And I’m a bit more edgy.

While this is mostly a Comedy song given the situation, it works as a way to sum up their relationship, even if it isn’t exactly deep. The signing isn’t exactly meant to be amazing so it works in the way it should, and these 2 do sound very good together.

This is another one of those songs that’s pretty replay-able due to an exceptionally memorable tune and chorus. The chorus really just sums up what being a Frenemy in general is all about.

It’s just a really fun song with its tune and concept. It also has a very satisfying ending. I just wish this would get a soundtrack release so here isn’t an obvious break between verses. Also, make it long.

This is another song that is just easy to love due to its concept, which again means there isn’t a lot to say about it. But it’s still pretty awesome. It’s just such a fun tune even taking away the subject matter.

Buford and Baljeet make a great team as they have shown on many occasions, and this song really sums everything up, doesn’t it? They have great chemistry here and is also a big part of why it’s so good.

That and you know, everything else I mentioned. It’s just another really fun P&F song with a great team, and a really memorable tune.

So yeah, that’s all I got. Buford and Baljeet may not be enemies or friend, but by being Frenemies they make for a pretty awesome song

13. Christmas is Starting Now [Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation]

Written by Danny Jacob, Martin Olson, and Dan Povenmire

Of all the songs I left off of the previous list, this is the one I regret leaving off the most. Yes, other songs ended up higher but I loved this one even back when I did the last list, but I didn’t have room for it at the time.

Over time, I liked songs less so I was able to fight it in decently high on this list. While I Really Don’t Hate Christmas is my favorite P&F Christmas song, this is the best of the ‘traditional” ones. Yes, I like it more than That Christmas Feeling.

Ironically, I think this one has the Christmas feeling more than that one. This one happens while the gang is delivering presents to Danville, and it essentially tells us that Christmas is starting now.

It’s supposed to be just a general song to put on while all of this is happening, and usually I’d pass on that. But of course they had to spice it up to make a really good song. The most noticeable aspect of this song is the whole jazzy style.

It really makes this one stand out from the other songs in the episode. The tune itself is really catchy and memorable. Everything else pretty stems from the tune and thankfully every other aspect is just as solid.

There’s just something about this song that gives off a really nice Christmas feeling, even more than That Christmas Feeling. While that one is a more general song about a Christmas feeling, this one specifically says that Chri8stmas is starting now. And somehow that makes a bit stronger.

The context and visuals help as well. This song has a bit more of a place in the story, thus giving it more context and making it nicer. Not to bash That Christmas Feeling, even though it’s not in my top 100. I just like this one more.

This song is performed by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, and while I’m not exactly familiar with their work, they do really well here. Like with a Half a Day, it’s a nice change of pace and it makes the song stand out even more. I like they used the style and singer to make this song stand out from the other Christmas songs in the episode, and it helped make it my favorite of the normal songs.

The lyrics naturally add to this as well. Aside from the usual Christmas stuff you might expect, they have some clever stuff in there that makes a bit more interesting.

Sometimes I feel like a big snowman

That’s fallen under a plow

But tonight I’m on top of the world

We’re gonna bring it around somehow.

They aren’t as clever as some other songs, but it works pretty well nonetheless. This is one of those songs that got extended once it got on a Soundtrack, and the extra verses really help it. It went from less than a minute to around 2 minutes. They added some verses and a few other things to really make it feel more complete.

A lot of people hope this special comes a real holiday classic, and that the songs come with it. Most people want That Christmas Feeling to become a true holiday classic, but I think this one deserves it just as much. It just gives you that feeling that Christmas is really starting now…even if it’s August at the moment.

(Although it’s obvious that I Really Don’t Hate Christmas will become a holiday classic and stand the rest of time)

It’s another song that sounds like a real song and it gives it more an edge. It sort of reminds me of Happy New Year in that regard, but I like this one more. It’s a very feel good song that is also really catchy and memorable.

It certainly stands out amongst all the P&F Christmas songs, and it dig it a lot. With it’s tune and style, it definitely deserves to be a Holiday classic, and it’s on the list of reasons of why this episode is so amazing.

While Christmas won’t start for another 4 month, this song will still bring you cheer no matter what time of year it is.

It’s a really good song, is what I’m trying to say.

12. I’m Me [Vanessassary Roughness]

Written by Micheal Deidrich, Perry Zombolas, Danny Jacob, Martin Olson, Dan Povenmire, and Swampy Marsh.

I’m glad I’m not more popular, because I imagine if I had an actual audience, I would have gotten a lot more comments about certain songs not being on the previous list.

And I bet aside from SBTY, I would have gotten the most comments on about this song.

I have no special reason for leaving it off. I just didn’t quite appreciate it until much later. Well, now I’m making up for it by having it decently high on this list. I didn’t exactly have many Vanessa/Olivia Olson songs on the last list, but in hindsight at least 2 deserved to be on there, this being one of them.

While the other ones I considered are more simple songs, this one is a rock number and it’s awesome. It actually shows her skills off more than her other songs, even ones I may like more.

Like with so many other songs, it’s hard to really describe this one since it’s just meant to be a big rocking piece, as I can’t really go into each aspect in tons of detail. It’s not even really about anything, yet it still stands out as one of the best.

The main focus of this song seems to be the flow and vocals, and as you can imagine it works really well in that regard. The tune itself is pretty rocking and incredibly well done. Not the catchiest but not every song needs to be a huge earworm.

It’s not the most melodic song ever, the sheer awesome-ness of it makes up for that. The song happens as Vanessa is trying to get some McGuffin (not the doll, a different one) and she sings about how awesome she is.

Yeah, it’s not the deepest song ever. Its sort a general song like I’ve been talking about, but it has tons of creativity. Remember how I went on about hard to sing songs like Extraordinary? Yeah, this beats them all.

It’s incredibly fast paced with it’s creative lyrics, and it’s hard to sing because of how crazy these lyrics get. I think they came up with every single way you could say you are awesome. It’s pretty magical.

I’m a strong woman, fast-talking, big-bad-dog walking,

High falutin’, drum-beatin’, foot stompin’, corn-poppin’,

Speeding locomotive that just won’t stop!

I’m a hot apple pie with a cherry on top!

I think this has the most creative lyrics of any “General” song. The vocals help as well, for obvious reasons. This song seems like it was exhausting to sing but she makes it seem so easy. She just seems so into and she adds a lot to it.

The flow is excellent too, as it’s not clunky with all these fast crazy lyrics. It’s even more impressive than the other really fast songs with its flow and vocals. It’s also another one I really like listening to on repeat.

Oh, and it’s another one that got an extended version on the soundtrack and honestly, the extended version is what got me to finally put it on the least. The extra verse just added something to the song and made it feel complete.

The length was good before but at 2 minutes, it’s pretty much perfect now. I just prefer others due to my weird tastes. Even the visuals help the song as we have some awesome fast paced action to complete the song.

Vanessa_And_Ferb_Duet

…And also Ferb’s wandering eye.

This is a song I appreciate even more after typing about it. I just tend to prefer songs that are more specfici and are more than just a person talking about how awesome they are. But hey, they did it really really well.

This song most certainly deserves all the praise it gets, and it might objectively be Olivia Olson’s best vocal performance on this show due to the fast pace. It’s a really fun song, if you can’t tell.

With its rocking tune, creative lyrics, great vocals and good flow, this certainly is a stand out song for the show and this singer. It’s pretty good.

11. Robot Riot [Across the 2nd Dimension]

Written by Dan Povenmire, Swampy Marsh, Martin Olson, and Jaret Riddick.

It’s hard to make a satisfying climax for a movie, especially if the buildup was really good. Most TV movies tend to fail in this regard due to the limitation of being a TV movie. But leave it to the P&F crew to defy that and make one of the best climaxes ever.

Yes, really. The fact that this song plays during it really helps.

Remember what I said Love Handle songs being awesome? Yeah, this is probably their 2nd best effort. (2nd only to Ballad of Klimpaloon). Let’s look at the scene in general first. Thanks to Perry, the boys have been able to clone all of their previous inventions so they take on Doof-2’’s robot army.

After a long scene of the inventions being revealed with kids piloting them, Love Handel is asked to provide musical accompaniment as they fight the robots. The sequence is about 2 minutes and in detail we see the huge fight between the kids and robots, as our main characters try to get to Doof’s tower.

It’s an incredibly awesome fight scene that is insanely satisfying to watch. Not just the fight itself, but the fact that it uses previous inventions in a huge storm of continuity. Plus, this is possible because Perry scanned the inventions, showing that he WAS there for their adventures. The boys thought he missed out on them.

So on top of all the obvious awesome-ness on screen, we have the sweet-ness of the story going on to help make this scene even more meaningful. I was not kidding when I called this one of the most satisfying climaxes ever.

But on to the actual song. First off, the visuals are awesome with all the fighting and continuity going on. The song does have a few flaws, most notably being that it gets a bit repetitive and loses flow at some points. It’s more apparent on the soundtrack version, but it doesn’t hurt the song.

I can see some putting the song lower, but it’s so badass it needs to be in this spot. The tune is pretty rocking on its own and is a great back up to everyone else. The main song focus more on lyrics but the tune is still awesome.

Like with our last entry, the lyrics really make this one. They come up with so many creative ways to say “We are fighting robots’. They have some typical puns but they come up with tons of creative new ones.

The lyrics also really do a good job at cementing what is going on. It makes this seem like a really badass battle, as if the visuals and tune didn’t do a good enough job of that.

It’s gonna be a mechanized mêlée. A bit of a big bot brawl

When we get through you’re gonna know it’s true, The more metallic they are the harder they fall

And don’t mess with me ’cause I’m a whole lot of trouble, when I’m backed up against the wall

My favorite lyrics are “Your sister is a fridge and you know her light is alwayws on” (You know-for kids), and “Rip out your CPU and show it you still processing”. The latter is hilariously dark, and the extended video actually shows it!

The demo version had even more fun lyrics, such as “I’ll rip out your motherboard and hit your father board with it”. The lyrics are certainly some of the best in the show. Although it is in the general feel that makes this one stand out.

The extended version actually adds something here as it makes the song feel more complete and it adds even more creative lyrics.

It’s just so badass, and it really gets your blood pumping…if cartoons could do that latterly, anyway. On its own the song really gets you hyped for an epic battle, but in the movie, it’s one of the best scenes in any movie ever.

The whole feel of the song is just so epic and it makes it so much song. This is certainly of the best song sequences in the show, even if there are better songs. The song helps make this one of the best climaxes ever, and every part of is satisfying.

There isn’t much to say about the singing. It’s as strong as always and it does help the song but everything else stands out better. It does get a bit repetitive and I do prefer less aggressive songs, but this still an awesome song to climax an awesome movie.

So with amazing visuals, a great place in the story, and a rocking beat with creative lyrics, this is one rocking song that helped make for one epic climax. It’s truly a riot.

And that ends part 3. We’re almost done, just one more part before we’re done with this damn list. Then we go move onto the Season 4 episode list, which will come out a day or so after part 4 of this list. I’ll work on it at the same time.

Which songs made my Top 10? Which one is the next best song ever? Find out next time, same Spongey Time, Same Spongey Channel!

See ya.

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Genie in a Bikini

I Dream of a better movie.

I Dream of a better movie.

Hello, Spongey here.

There’s no doubt that Disney and Nick are bitter rivals, and like most rivals, that try to one up each other. Disney has tried to cash in on Nick trends (Snookums and Meat) but more often it’s Nick who copies Disney.

Recently, at least it seems that way. Which is funny, cuz there’s an episode of iCarly where an obvious Disney Channel knockoff rips off iCarly, which some see as Dan projecting a bit, saying Disney ripped him off in some way.

That’s a great episode, by the way for how its mocks Disney sitcoms. But is it weird how things changed. In recent years, a lot of Nick’s live action shows have tried to copy the Disney formula.

You know, like how everyone is copying the MCU Formula. Wait, Disney owns Marvel now…huh. Besides the general feel of some shows being like Disney Sitcoms, the whole formula of how things work at Nick is a lot like Disney.

They dropped the star singing thing a bit ago but we got actors appearing in multiple shows and building up said actors gradually. Like Disney does. It’s weird how they went in this direction, but it seems to work since most of the shows are hits now.

I can’t say I dislike this since I can say I like The Thundermans way more than Nicky Ricky Dicky whatever. But at the same time, it is kind of dumb. And since they rip off Disney with shows, it’s only fitting they would make their own movies.

Yep, for a while Nick has made its own original movies to compete with Disney. It’s not even a new thing. Remember Cry Baby Lane? Then of course we’ve had stuff like Gym Teacher the Movie and Last day of Summer, the latter of which I would have reviewed already if I could find it.

But recently I’ve taken a bit of issue with these movies./ Lately, they seem ot be ripping off Disney more directly with how fast they make them. I’m fine with stuff like Swindle, but in 2014 and this year we’ve had had last 5 in rapid successions.

The problem is that they come out way too fast, and they seem to come and go. We get like a few ads for it, and once it airs, it’s never seen again. Disney puts a lot of effort into marketing their movies, even after they’ve sired.

Nick, not so much. The fact that the films themselves look less interesting doesn’t help matters. But I’ll let stuff like Splitting Adam slide,since it looks kind of okay. Today’s target? Not so much.

I didn’t really care about Zapoed one way or the other, and yet I thought this one looked awful. That gives you an idea of how good this is gonna be. Like the other films I mentioned, this came and went.

I remember the ads, and how they used the title to trick you into thinking it was gonna be good until the lead popped up. The fact that the title sounds like a porn doesn’t make it better…nor does the fact that there IS a porn with a similar title.

I was not looking forward to this. But hey, I can’t judge something before I saw it.

So let’s give it a chance, and see if it’s any good. The director has done work for Awesomness TV, and one writer did nothing, while the other has worked on Modern Family Guy.

…Let’s just see how this thing is.

This, is Genie in a Bikini

The film starts with credits playing over shots of the main character’s room. …Wow, they really do rip off Disney. It actually opens with our main character getting ready in the morning via dumb montage.

Our main female character and nerdy male friend meet up and head to their first day of Jr High. The female character goes on about trying to fit with the cool kid, and already this movie is turning me off. I’m getting wary of all of these clichés and the rushed way this film is doing it, isn’t making it any better.

The nerdy kid immediately gets a crush on some popular bitch, because of course he does. They helpfully tell us that their names are Kris and Jacob. (I assume it’s spelled the girl-y way).

They try to hit off with the cool kids and fail. After their fail, they go to the beach and find a lamp. They rub it and a dude comes out. …Wait, what? How far are we into this?

*5 Minutes*

…What. We’re only minutes 5 minutes in, and at least 1 one of those was used for credits? I know I’ve seen movies that rush their concept out quickly, but they typically wait longer than 5 minutes.

They even pace themselves up to that point. This is just…wow. And I swear I didn’t’ skip anything. It went from school, to beach, to this! I do have a reason to think it may have skipped something but more on that at the end.

The genie is indeed a dude in a bikini and they quickly accept this fast because he smells bad and thus he is real.

Yes.
One quick gag and they are cool with this. They don’t even question why he’s dressed like this, nor is there a reason for him to dress like this. It’s just for a bad gimmick-y title.

“What’s with the Bikini?”

“Because, everyone can see me. I can’t go walking around dressed like a genie”

…Whatever. Matt assumes the kids are dating, when they just friends. …Now they will hook up, right?

“We’ve been friends forever”

“So you were there for the big bang too, how loud was that?”

…Okay, that was funny.

Their first wish is for unlimited wishes…and it works. He says “No one’s ever thought to do that’. Except …no. That’s a common trope for them to wish that only for it to be against the rules.

So we get right into the wishes, which of course go wrong. Jacob wishes for hot fudge sundaes and they have broccoli in them. Matt says there is a genie school but he was kicked out, hence why he sucks.

There’s a lot of things wrong of wrong with that..

Then Kris’s little sister drops is, played by that little sister from Crash and Bernstein. Between this and Russel Madness, she should get a new agent. Of course things get awkward as they have to cover up Matt. They do so but then Matt’s Mom shows up ….Okay.

We then get an example of why Matt sucks as a genie. It’s not funny, moving in. His sister is a better genie, way more fit to wear a Bikini. Christ, all of this is happening so fast. This could work if we had time to know anyone!

It just kind of ends there as move to our heroes at school later on. They plan to wish for the best party ever, and they tell the cool kids about it. They are signed on despite the kids involved.

Later at home, they wish for stuff for their big party. Including the presence of a pop star they accidently promised would be there. Instead of just making this pop up right away with his magic, he puts it on a list saying he will get all of this.

He says he can do it but as he tells his Mom and Sister, he can’t do it. Then that scene just kind of ends. Well, the pacing has slightly improved I suppose, since this is the stuff I expect to happen by the 15 minute mark.

The kids hand out their fliers, and have imagine spots about being famous. Yeah, we know they are gonna learn their lesson about wanting to be popular, so let’s skip this.

After a bit with a talking banana (don’t ask), the little sister goes through the attic to investigate this strange new person and stumbles upon the lam and hides when the other kids pop up. The little sister is forces to run away before she can figure out anything. I’m use she won’t pop up again.

….And then she does a few minutes later, as she sees Matt doing genie stuff. Well that was quick. He panics and they end up in his lamp. He leaves, pretty much abandoning the little girl. What a great guy.

So then we cut to the big party. I guess It wasn’t our big 3rd act scene after al if it’s only 22 minutes in. Guess it’ll start a new chain of events leading to a bigger climax. Things go well until problem arises, so they ask Matt to get them their promised pop star.

He can’t do it so they are doomed. Of course this is where the sad part comes in, as Matt feels bad for being a poor genie. Hmm…well I’ve seen worse attempts at this but it’s still pretty forced.

Mart leaves right there and the news gets out that this party sucks. But instead of telling them the truth, they say that pop star person is stuck in the closet and being idiots, they buy it. So Jacob has to pretend to try to get her out of the closet.

….That came out wrong. Meanwhile, the little sister and Matt’s sister get along pretty well while Matt is crying. You know, I like that the kids didn’t get mad at him or anything. Matt is the one that decided he sucks and left. Most movies would make the kids unlikable and while they still aren’t the best, at least they took the high road in this regard.

It’s at this point when his sister decides to be nice and comfort him. To fix this problem, they have Matt dress up as the pop star person instead of using the female genie they already have. The “smart’ characters came up with this plan, guys.

Because he isn’t boo’d right away, he sings. It’s as painful as it sounds.

“Mistakes!”

Too easy.

This fools everyone because everyone is a moron.

“Are they death? Blind?”

Pointing out your stupidity doesn’t make it less stupid. So the party is saved thanks to Matt’s sister and the main character’s sister. He pretty much did nothing but do what people asked him to do, and he didn’t do it with magic.

So yeah, we learned nothing, pretty much.

“I put a spell on them”

…Oh, never mind. Now I can bitch about how magic won the day instead of hard work….but then I would just be too easy to please. Although I can say that it’s dumb how they archived their goal of being popular when being popular with douche-y kids who can’t accept them for who they are isn’t exactly the best thing.

Not to mention the got their happiness here thanks to some good ol’ lying and trickery. But whatever, I don’t care.

The next day, they got to the cool table only to get rejected. Yes, even after all that they reject them because they are jerks. …Okay, disregard my complaints. It makes these guys very odd in how they are written but whatever, as long as bad morals as not involved.

Matt pops up and turns one dick kid into a frog. Yeah, he’s good at magic now because…reasons. But anyway, with him as a frog, they can have the table. They better not keep him that way forever or bad morals will come back into play.

Also, I think only that one guy hated them cuz the other cool kids show up, and are fine with them. Whatever.

Matt realizes he left the little sister in his lamp (not sure how no one noticed this until now..) and goes to get her and erase her memory of him. He goes into her mind and changes her memory. They only did this to put in some gags about her obsessions and her “soft side/’ which is…almost funny.

This whole bit is pointless either way.

“And that’s why I’m a great genie”

“You’re a genie?!”

Wah wah. The end. …Wait, what? …Huh? I’m used to abrupt endings but seriously? There wasn’t’ a satisfying enough closure for Matt’s ‘arc” or anything like that. It works a bit better than some other endings but the film itself felt rushed.

And there’s a reason. That thing we just went through? It was only 42 minutes long. …Seriously. Most DCOM’s, and even some nick movies are at least an hour or so. This is as long as a Video Brendquedo movie or something.

I’ll go into detail on how this affects the product, but it is pretty dumb even with all the excuses you can throw at me. Let’s just wrap this up.

Final Thoughts:

Well…that was …interesting. This has been of the odder experiences I’ve had on here, even the movie was fairly tame. By the way, I checked out and most of the other real recent Nick movies had been of normal length, so this one is an odd man out. The only explanation I can think of is that was a pilot for a show.

But there’s been no announcement for a show of this at the moment so that doesn’t hold up until this is confirmed. If it never happens, we can add this to the never ending list of Nick’s mistakes. It wouldn’t shock me though since ‘The Massively Mixed Up Middle School Mystery” gonna be a show and it was not announced as a show before it aired and it was shorter than this.

But even as a pilot movie, it doesn’t work too long. Even the 100 things to do before high school pilot movie felt like an actual movie and had an actual story that was decently written. Hell, stuff like FOP’s Channel Chasers was a better movie and that was technically just an episode!

This thing was really…underwhelming, to say the least. For one, the title is just a lame gimmick and they barely take advantage of the main concept. A Goofy Genie is an okay idea for a tween movie but they only do a few comedic things with it and just waste time on a lame story.

This film’s main problem is that it is really rushed. It fills up the time better than I expected but every aspect is rushed.

The main arc is really poorly handled. Matt is a screw up as a genie and then he doesn’t really get better and he only helps when his sister gets a plan to fix things. The main conflict with the party took center stage over the actual story.

I’m not a fan of the “Screw up with a heart of gold” cliché but this doesn’t even get the basics right. They don’t get mad at him which is fine but it makes for a weak conflict. The actual story is pretty cliché and it follows every predictable beat.

But I can forgive that since this isn’t mean to be anything huge. Btu the only interesting arc is rushed so why should I care? The Comedy is pretty lame but honestly nothing was too awful despite the trailers promising awful-ness.

They just don’t use the main gimmick very well, instead opting for focus on a lame story. The runtime is no excuse to half ass your story. The characters are pretty weak too. The leads are just really generic with no personality to speak of.

They are tolerable but there’s not much to latch on to here. Matt isn’t the worst but he tries too hard and I can’t like him too much. Everyone else is just there, with the little sister sadly being the highlight in the cast.

Not much about the film is really horrible but I dislike it for how rushed it is. It doesn’t really like an actual movie. Just a rushed product with barely any story or character depth to speak of. The whole thing feels really cheap and rushed.

I said that the recent nick movies did look quite rushed, but I just meant in terms of marketing. They seemed like enough effort went into them but it turns out they are as rushed as they look. I can only imagine what One Crazy Cruise is like.

Being a pilot movie could excuse this, but I see no proof of this, and even by those standards, this feels. I can let a lot of Nick’s mistakes slide, but this shows why they should let Disney make the TV movies.

Jinxed and Swindle were okay and those others don’t look that bad, but this and the Fred and FOP Trilogies really show how much they care about making quality films. Although I can’t really angry at Nick in a general, for reasons I will get into some other time.

So yeah, this movie wasn’t as painful as I feared but it was still not very good. It’s incredibly rushed with a short runtime, weak story and very flat characters. This premise should have at least made it interesting, but instead it was really weak and boring.

Yawn.

Grade: D-

Next time, let’s do something I can enjoy. Not exactly something good, but something I can enjoy at least.

See ya.

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Strange Magic

Except the makers of this movie

Except the makers of this movie

Hello, Spongey here.

Today, we review our first theatrical 2015 movie. We’ve seen some direct to video ones, but let’s do some real ones. So far, this year has been pretty solid. Honestly, there isn’t that much in terms of infamous films I NEED to review cuz it looks so bad.

But there are a few, starting with this one. It’s an animated movie released in January so you know it’s good! Jokes aside, I wasn’t sure how to feel about this one when it came out.

It looked like it could be fun, but I knew nothing about it. My usual sources, and evil the film’s website were vague about it. I just knew the basics and the fact that it was “from the mind of George Lucas”.

We all know his story so I don’t need to go into detail.

I figured it would be mediocre at worst or decent at best. Nothing too noteworthy. …Then the reviews came in. Everyone hated it most notably Ani-Mat. For the 3rd ytear in a row, the first animated film of the year was hated.

Hopefully it’ll be deserving, unlike Nut Job. So let’s go into who made it aside from Lucas. The director did a few Pixar shorts, which is promising. He’s also one of the writers, along with people who given us stuff like The Haunted Mansion, Zoom, and Elf.

That’s…mixed, I suppose. So if this hated film as bad as something like Walking with Dinosaurs, or just kind of meh like The Nut Job? Let’s See!

This, is Strange Magic

The movie opens with a narrator telling us about two kingdoms that are side by side but “world’s apart”, The Fairy Kingdom aka Good Guys, and Dark Forrest aka the bad guys. Flowers bloom of the border that are used to make love potions,.

“Everybody deserves to be loved”

Even if it’s forced upon them.

We then see some fairy chick flying around and…singing. Oh, did I mention this is a jukebox musical? Cuz it is. I’d like to thank the traielrs for warning me about that. …Wait..

But hey, there’s nothing wrong with this if it’s done well like in Happy Feet. This first song is fine but cut short when she stumbles into the dark forest. She leaves but leaves behind a primrose petal which two dudes take to their leader, The Bog King, voiced by Alan Cumming.

He sure loves popping in negatively reviewed movies on here.

“I hate this time of year. Spring!”

He says that he wants to get of the primrose so there are no love potions, and thus no love. …Except love that comes…naturally. Btu whatever, the point is he has banned love in his land because evil people hate love cuz love is amazing and yada yada.

We then go back to Marianne, that fairy chick voiced by Evan Rachel Wood as she bumps into her soon to be husband, Roland. He acts slightly douche-y which means ….i don’t even need to say it, it’s that predicatble.

After that, she decides to have a reprise of the first song. It’s competently made, at least. It ends when Marianne sees Roland hugging another Girl.
That was quick. That’s really what she gets for having no reason to love him that I saw.

She goes off to cry and of course sing about. A bit quick but this has a place in the story so I can roll with it. It’s nice, I supposed but too short, like the other one.

Her sister Dawn talks to her friend, aka the black comedic relief. They will hook at the end, calling it now. For the moment, she’s into someone else that she wants to get with. …Then they sing about it.

….I hope this isn’t a trend. We just had two songs, and at leats those had a reason. This is just…pointless, really. The subject brought up here likely comes into play, but better pacing would be nice.

The song is nice but still kind of forgettable. It also cut off so it’s even more pointless. A monster thing attacks them but Marianne comes in to kick it’s ass. After Roland did what he did, she became a “strong independent woman”.

However, Sunny, the friend, got lost in the shuffle and is in the dark forest for a bit.

“Do you want what happened to the Sugar Plum Fairy to happen to you?”

Sugar plum fairy? Do I even want to know? They fly off and from the dialogue, I can tell what will happen: Dawn will learn not to be quiet as ‘lovey” while Marianne while learn to accept love. Am I in the ball park?

There happens to be a ball that night, which Marianne isn’t looking forward to. Also, it looks it’s been a while since the Roland thing since they act like it happened a bit ago. Thanks for giving us that transition, people who went to The Legend of Hercules school of editing. Roland shows up and tries to get Marianne back, through song of course. At least fits with the situation.

Like all the others, it’s decent but kind of weak and its’ very short. …Then she sings too. Uh, how about doing that while he’s singing instead of making me think we’re done? This song has her basically telling him to fuck off, and…well I agree with Marianne:

“Now that was fun”

After the most epic rejection ever, Roland chats it up with Sunny who trusts him for some reason. Maybe it’s cuz Roland puts on a sad face to make him seem sympathetic. He asks Sunny to help him make a love potion and he’s like “sure, why not”. Again, why are you trusting this douchebag?

Sunny quickly grabs a petal from the border which The Bog King hears about very quickly.

“If he’s looking for trouble, he’s come to the right place”

ROCKO: It’s gonna be a song, isn’t it?

Yep, We have our villain song…which lasts like 30 seconds. Great, the only song I actually wanted to hear is short.

Sunny bumps into an Imp who can help him find the Sugar Plum fairy, so he lets him tag along. Long story short, he finds her and talks to her. She’s voiced by Kristen Chenoweth, by the way. Got nothing to add to that.

She agrees to make him a love potion if he sets her free.

“But believe me, there can be unforeseen consequences?”

Like the fact that a love potion is more or less a kid friendly date rape drug? And Then she sings about it.

“Now’s not about the time for a concert”

I agree. The song is nice, since they at least let this one go on, but it’s still pointless. It also tells us something two or so sentences could say. They also cut between it and some bad comedy with Bog King that kind of ruins them mood.

Anyway, she makes the love potion and Sunny sets her free. Sunny escapes but like any fictional princess, she just gets captured again. So what was the point of freeing her? You could have the Bog king storm in before she could be freed to have the same effect.

With that, we cut an elf festival dance thing that night where we have a song. Don’t worry, it’s just background noise for the dance so I can let it slide. But it is Song #8, with 5 left. We’re only 39 minutes into a 90 minutes movie. Yeah.

Suddenly, the bag guys storm in, having heard about the love potion. Some of it gets on Dawn just as she is captured by one dude. The Bog King then makes his entrnaces through song. Of course.

It’s pretty good but another pointless that is really short. Having a bunch of little songs instead of a few big ones would be fine if they actually moved the story along in a meaningful way. The Bog King says they must give the potion back by moon down, then he leaves. This would be more effective if you just refused to leave until they brought it out, but I guess you have other things to do.

Marrianne blames herself and wants to go get her back, but her father of course doesn’t want her to get hurt. He’s voiced by Alfred Molina, by the way. Yet another movie full of wasted talent.

She goes off anyway cuz she’s totally a rebel, dude. Sunny blames himself and wants everyone to help him rescue Dawn as well. His plea is meet with a cricket, as in we see the cricket chirping. Now that’s funny.

Dawn is taken to Bog King’s place, and then she…sings. They are as confused as I am. The Bog King butts in with his own song because reasons. It’s a nice number and it…has a prupose since she does this to annoy him but…it’s still weird and rushed. Oh, and she’s in love with him due the potion now. Ew.

I haven’t mentioned which songs they used because so far they just use any random popular song that has the word love in it. Moulin Rouge, this ain’t.
At least there’s no more sing-and Marriane has a number. Goddamnit, stop with the songs! They are too frequent and too short to have any impact, so stop it!

It’s thankfully short as move on to Sunny trying to go after Dawn with his friend we never saw until now. That’s cut short so we can have Bog King ask the Sugar Plum Fairy to give him an antidote for the love potion.

In the meantime, he shows a bit of thankfulness for a gift Dawn gives him, which makes her sing again. It’s a different song from earlier, so it’s another fucking song. Oh, the song she had a few minute and the one the bog king did with her is shown as two songs on the soundtrack.

Speaking of, on that CD all the songs are actually about the proper length of 2 or 3 minutes. That means they were as long as needed but were cut short for some reason. ..That also means we could have 13 3 minute songs crammed into 90 + minutes.

That…would be the lesser of the 2 evils. Anyway, Sunny bumps into Roland to remind us he is why he had to go get the potion in the first place. Sunny isn’t too king on letting him have it now, but he takes it anyway.

Marrianne finally shows up to the fight the bog king.

“At least you’re not signing”

Then she starts singing, It’s like the movie is self aware at this point. It’s a nice song battle, at least. They eventually tire each other out, so Bog King just takes her to see love struck Dawn. After seeing this, they stop fighting so they can work together to get that Antidote, and he allows her to bring Dawn home because reasons.

While they wait for that to be solved, Bog King’s Mom tries to hook him up with Marriane. Yeah, I forgot to mention that the villain’s mom thinks he needs love and keeps babbling about hooking up. Because….why not.

They object to this but then the Sugar Plum fairy calls on them so that part was weirdly pointless. She tells them that the antidote is the “one thing more powerful than the potion”

It’s true, real love. Calling it now. The Bog King is like “screw that” and makes her reveal the antidote, but first she tells a story. A long time ago, The Bog King fell in love fell in love with a woman and came to her for the love potion. But it didn’t work and she found him ugly, even under the influence of a love potion.

But as it turns out, it just didn’t’ work because she was already in love with someone else.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Exactly! This whole plot happens because you are an idiot! But seriously, the Bog king hates love because he was rejected. Should have known his excuse would be lame. Also, Dawn has been crushing on various guys in the movie and it still worked.

And yes, my prediction about it being true love was right. Marriane can relate to having love troubles and they bond a little bit. And by that I mean, spoilers, they start to fall for each other.

…I have mixed feelings. On one hand, it’s cool to see something like this happen in a modern animated feature. On the other hand, this comes in over an hour into the movie, and there are no hints that this will happen, or could happen. It’s just randomly here, although the reasoning is sound, somewhat.

Also, I’ve seen this done way better in both Beauty and Beast and Shrek. The romance was written way better because there was a proper transition and I liked the characters beforehand.

But hey, let’s see how this plays out, as sudden as it is. Of course they have to have a love song, which is acceptable despite my bitching. The song is called Strange Magic so roll credits and all that.

The song is actually long so it works a lot better despite the story problems. Was that hard? Although it’s dumb how they just hit it off and decided they love each other. Still not worst George Lucas romance.

But then Bog King sees Roland and his men bringing the love potion, and thinks she set him up. …The 3rd misunderstanding…happens latterly RIGHT after they decided they love each other. They showed no signs of love and the minute they do, we get this cliché.

…Just….wow. Also, you asked for the potion by moon down. Someone doing what you asked is setting you up? Huh?

A Scuffle starts and the whole place starts falling apart. Then Bog sacrifices himself by holding the mouth of his den open long enough for everyone to escape. Yeah, he’s alive, this movie has not shocked me once and it won’t start now.

This apparently breaks the spell and causes Dawn to sotp loving Bog, and start loving Sunny. Oh yeah they sort of have had a really poorly written thing going on.

Oh hey, the Bog King is alive. What a shock.

Everything is happy until Roland sprays love potion in Marriane’s face to make her love him. It doesn’t work since she already loves bog. But she pretends to love him and then punches him in the face.

Roland truly was a pointless character.

“I learned a valuable lesson. Never judge something or someone, by how it, or he, or she looks”

Yep, just state the obvious moral. Screw being subtle.

With all that settled, Dawn sings about love because we need one more song to wrap things up, I guess. The songs goes on for a while, since it needs to wrap up our main romance and give us a sendoff. It’s at least a proper osng and it’s a ncie ending, I suppose.

Yes, it ends when the songs does. The writing beforehand ruins this more than the actual ending, so I can let it slide to an extent. Also, There is a mid credits scene where Roland is hit by the love potion and falls in love with a bug thing…which is kind of funny.

Still a better love story than…this movie.


Final Thoughts:

While I can’t really call this bad, it’s still very poor. I suppose I’ll get the obvious problem out of the way: The songs. They sound fine for the most part, and they aren’t used too badly.

But they do a poor job of forwarding the story. They are just random songs put in and feel shoehorned in. And like I said, they are too short to have any impact, and there are too many of them. As a musical, this just fails.

I suppose I’ll address the postives before I go in deeper: The animation is very good and detailed. Yes, the look is similar to stuff loike Epic but it’s not as generic as something like Planet 51, so it looks quite good.

There are some decent tracks, and some amusing moments. I also respect it for the strange romance it is and attempt to tackle deeper themes about love. So it has some decent high points.

But no for the biggest problem: The romance. The actual writing is flawed enough but the romances bring out the worst in the writers. The main romance isn’t introduced until over halfway through the film with little to no transition.

The characters are given decent reasons but we also aren’t given much beyond that. They relate to each other. That’s about it, really. I went into why it really doesn’t so I won’t go too much further.

But it is amazing how poor it is since we’re supposed to care about it. If they hinted that they could like each other, that would work. Or they being brought together to fix Dawn was put way earlier so their romance could bloom earlier. Again, the aforementioned examples of this strange romance thing did that correctly!

The other romance with Sunny is equally weak as it’s barely brought up and they just hook up for…reasons. The actual characters aren’t any better. Marriane is just a generic tough female character who was burned by a douche.

That’s all you get for personality. She barely any does anything in most of the show anyway, and her background is just a plot device to get her with the bog king. He’s enjoyable as a villain, but as a character he’s just a generic bad guy who needs love. And he’s still the best character.

Roland is annoying and pointless, Sunny is just pointless, Dawn is just there to fall in love, and everyone else is just there. Some have decent traits and some can be enjoyable in parts, but most of them are flat with little dimension.

The actual story is just weak with nothing shocking at all. It’s mostly about the romance would be fine if it didn’t suck. It hit me what this is. See, in many movies I review that aren’t billed as romances, there will be poorly written and rushed romances in the background.

I would list examples but almost every bad movie I covered that isn’t a full romance is like this. The reason they end up being poor is because the movie isn’t about a romance or it just takes up a subplots worth of a time.

This is a whole movie like that. I’ve seen worse romances but this still very weak considering this a movie about love. It doesn’t even go into these themes, it just brushes by them.

As a viewing experience, it’s not very painful compared to crap like walking with Dinosaurs, but script-wise it’s fairly bad. The characters are flat, the songs are pointless, and the romance is incredibly weak.

Grade: D-

Next time, I veer away from Disney Channel movies and move other to Nick’s offerings. What is it? I hope it’s good.

tumblr_noybv1ATaP1r0p6vdo1_r1_500

…Well, those hopes are gone.

See ya.

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Teen Titans Go-Be Mine

Hello, Spongey here.

People say it’s really annoying when you constantly hear heaps of praise for works you find to be just okay, and stuff like that. Yes, that can be irksome but you know what’s 100000 times more annoying?

The exact opposite. Hearing tons of angry hate for something you find to be just meh or mediocre. I know this sums up every single thing the internet hates but today we’re looking at one specific example: Teen Titans Go.

That’s right, we’re going there .Now, I have not seen the original (BLASHMEPHY) but I’ve seen enough clips to know it’s amazing and it was capable of doing good things. Teen Titans go is basically a more dumbed down and “flandierzed” version that can often be wacky and off the wall.

I have a weird relationship with this show. I consider it to be mediocre, and I don’t feel it’s as terrible as people say…but they do have good reason to hate sometimes. At first people just hated it because it was “different” and stuff like that.

Now the show has done enough to deserve hate, like the ending of Super Robin, the entirety of Let’s Get Serious, and the opening of Return of Slade. (The latter is the only time the show has managed to insult me). Not to mention their declaration that the show was “Stupid”.

…But my god, can we please shut up about it? I don’t care how bad you say it is, I can’t go around the internet without people bitching about it. At this point, the show is just doing its own thing, and the creators clearly don’t care what we think. Why waste energy talking about it?

Also, stop the Toddler Titans thing. It was cute when Enter first thought of it, but now it’s annoying. Counteracting immaturity with more immature crap is stupid.

With that said, the show does fractsrate me. Not quite because of it’s bad episode…but because of it’s good episodes. Yeah, every bad show has a good episode, but this show has a quite a thing of them ranging from just fun like Campfire Stories, to actually good stories like Caramel Apples. See, the show has actually proven it can be a worthy spin off that’s dumbed down but still entertaining, This may sound weird but it’s true.

And today we’ll be looking at a perfect example of that. This episode is proof the show can do actually good things besides just being dumb fun. I wanted to do this because with all the hate going around, I wanted to cool things down.

With that said, let’s get into.

This, is Be Mine

Writer: Jon Loy

Let’s talk about this guy. He’s written plenty of episodes for this show nad most of them kind of suck. So him doing this makes it even weirder. He also write Carmel Apples, the other “Best” episode. And this ep came directly after his magnum opus, Waffles. He also wrote that Special Agent Oso finale I reviewed awhile back.

Weird.

The episode starts with a scene from an earlier episode. Yep, in “Terra-ized”, there was this whole thing with Beast Boy liking this evil chick and in the end Raven fought her and banished her to another dimension, which is what we see her.

Yes, this show has actual continuity for once. And it’s only the tip of the iceberg. We join Terra 6 months later, as we see that this dimension is where the titans dump their trash. Terra is pissed and swears revenge.

“I’m saving you for last, Beast boy”

Meanwhile, Starfire informs everyone that it’s Valentine’s Day. …huh, I think I did this a few months too late. Of course, Robin immedniltys asks Starfire out and she says yes. Which is out of place (in this show anyway) by still nice.

So now everyone else needs a Valentine. Cyborg has Jynx, (which was explored in it’s own episode), which leaves Raven and Beast Boy as the only loners. Beast Boy of course wants raven but besides her having none of it, Cyborg lets slip that Terra is in that trash world.

Now, outside of maybe being slightly annoying, Beast Boy has actually done nothing wrong so far. I wouldn’t call him likable yet, but a step up from usual. Beast Boy quickly finds a way to free Terra and he’s obvlious to how much she hates him.

She decides to use this to her advantage. So we have an actually interesting plot for once. Not exactly orginal but it’s coherent and it makes sense, more than most of this shows plots.

Beast Boy tells the others about this and Raven isn’t happy about it. Later, Terra tricks Beast Boy into helping her steal some stuff. Again, not too original but they have an interesting spin about it later.

They also break it with some “Comedic” stuff with Robin and Starfire. It’s hit or miss but some of it is kind of amusing. Anyway, Raven tries to prove to Beast Boy that Terra is out to get him and…he actually picks up on pretty quickly. Huh.

This naturally makes him sad and this is where things get a lot better. With how he reacts, oyu actually feel sorry for him.

“There’s a good side to her Rave, I just know it!”

You see where he’s coming from and his dick moments come from more of a real place than usual. And it’s not even the best part.

That night is the Valentines Dance thing, where we have a couple decent jokes and Robin gets a kiss from Starfire without anything bad happening. Score!

“Robin, you are like the brother to me”

….Never mind.

At this moment, Terra shows up to share her feelings…evilly. She kicks their asses until it’s just Beast Boy, who is still quite upset.

“I know you want to destroy me and everything, and that’s cool. But before you do, I want you to see what’s inside my heart”

And this is where the episode shows it’s true colors. See, Beast Boy sings her song. But it’s actually not dumb. Instead of a fairly sweet about his feelings for her. It’s actually catchy and it really makes Beast Boy sympathetic despite some off moments before this part.

It’s the kind of genuine thing I never expected from this show, especially at this point. Naturally this does get through to Terra, and it’s really nice. …

And with this chance, Raven defeats her and throws in the trash world. Beast Boy runs after her and jumps in as well.

“At least we’re stuck in here together”

Well, that’s sort of a dumb end-

RAVEN: Beast Boy…I didn’t get to tell you how I feel.

The end.

….

Um…wow. This is…the exact moment where this episode actually becomes great. Not sure “pretty good by TTG standards” but actually great. Like I said, it’s not exactly original but this show it’s just…wow.

I mean, there’s an actual downer ending with Raven not getting to admit her feelings. Granted, it’s dropped in the next episode because this is a Comedy show, after all. But it’s a still a very nice and sad moment.

It’s just…dang. Anyway, more detail below.

Final Thoughts:

This episode is exactly why the shows general direction bothers me. I don’t need it to be as serious as the original or anything, but this episode manages to have an actual story while also being light and Comedic in the right parts, mostly.

There are other episodes that do this, and while I don’t need every episode to be like this, I do think there’s no need for almost every episode to just be stupid. Some episodes start as a actual story and just become dumb (like this very episodes almost sequel…) and from them oyu think they don’t want to tell a real story and just shouldn’t try.

…But this one shows they do want to and can. Even in late Season 2 they can do it like with Nean (abeiet to a much lesser extent). I get that they want to be silly but why even do stuff like this is you don’t want to be serious at all?

Anyway, this episode isn’t really amazing but it is very good. Yes, it’s cliché and there are a few dumb moments here and there, but the good parts make up for it. There’s some real heart put into this and it feels like they actually tried.

The characters are far more interesting than usual, with Robin getting a break, and Cyborg being toned down. Then there’s Raven and Beast Boy. Beast Boy is a bit dick-ish in some part but later you see why. You really see that he loves Terra and start to feel bad for him.

That’s so unlike him in this show, but it fits since they do use it for Comedy. I like that they had him and Terra connect instead of just having him drop her after realizing she’s evil. Raven being jealous is cliché but it fits due to the ending.

It’s clear her jealously is why she put Terra back in that Trash World but that bites her in the butt with that ending bit. The relationship stuff isn’t exactly the best but it’;s rather complex for this show.

The ending line is the best part. It’s so amazing that they had a serious downer ending in this show. It works very well and it what makes this episode work so well. So yeah, it’s mostly good for this show, but on its own it is still a nice episode despite some flaws.

There are 2 things to take away from this review: This show isn’t all stupid and that we should probably be MORE angry at the stupidity in this show because they proved they can and will do something of quality.

…But the hate should still die down. Seriously, while Return of Slade is not very good, it shows that the creators doesn’t really care about what have to say and thus we should just stop talking about this show.

It’s getting tiring and there are better things to waste your energy on than yelling about how this is the worst thing ever. Plus it’s far from the worst.

I think this sums it up: At this point, this show is just too stupid to really hate.


Grade: B+

Next time, we’re back to normal stuff with something that’s a bit less Victorious.

See ya.

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Bad Hair Day

Ally Dawson's day is ruined by Amy Duncan wanting her necklace to get it away from a Bad Guy. Disney Channel is weird.

Ally Dawson’s day is ruined by Amy Duncan wanting her necklace to get it away from a Bad Guy. Disney Channel is weird.

Hello, Spongey here.

I have some catching up to do when it comes to DCOM’s. Two new ones have come out in the spane of a couple months and because I couldn’t do a tie in thanks to Barbie month, I’m a bit behind. Of course, two of them are not on Netflix yet so I have an excuse for them.

Not so much for this, so let’s finally cover a DCOM that came earlier in the year. Before we get in, let me explain the Netflix thing. I like waiting for the movies to pop up there because I feel enough time has passed since the film’s release to cover it. I don’t wait to jump into right away, after all.

Since I felt I was behind on the DCOM reviews, I wanted to cover this for Teen Beach 2 but Netflix didn’t’ have it yet so I went for Zenon 2. Then it popped up there on July 1, not too long after I did Zenon 2.

Great.

I wanted to do this last month, kind of like how I did those 2 reviews between Toon’d Out 3. I wrote the intro but got too lazy to do it. So I’m doing it now!

…Anyway, this one is very special, because if you count all the “debatable” ones such as Harriet the Spy Blog Wars, then this is the 100TH DCOM! I did a whole 2nd month simply because of this fact!

And what did they do? ….A normal movie. A B film that is normal and has a star in-between B and A list, and…that’s it. It’s…normal. …That’s disappointing. However, Disney doesn’t quite count a few so maybe they’ll claim an upcoming one is the 100th.

They don’t count the very first one for some reason….which I should have done instead of Johnny Tsunami. Whoops.

Anyway, onto the actual movie. As I said, it’s a B movie but I thought it looked kind of amusing. Nothing too special or fancy, and after the oddness of Zapped and How to Build a Better boy, a normal one is in order. But as they releases more trailers, I kind of got excited for it.

This one had more hyped than usual for a B movie but Disney has always been good at advertising these things, no matter how minor they are. But I’ll go that more when I cover a Nick TV Movie…

They even had a marathon of …every Austin & Ally episode for it. Goddamnit Simpsons…

In the end, the movie ended up being fine. We’ll get into more it later but for now I’ll say it’s that kind of DCOM that is kind of decent but not really special enough to be called “Good”. It’s fun and that’s it.

It has enough materiel for a review, anyway. Though it’s odd that it’s good considering it aired on Friday the 13th.

Now on to the “Creative” team. The director has done nothing and we have 4 writers, 2 of which have done nothing, and the other 2 gave us How to Build a Better boy.

…Eh.

I went through that quick so we cuz discuss the stars of this one. Most DCOM’s that have 2 big stars, have them be 2 kids. But here…one of them is an adult. And I don’t mean a guest role, no she is the big star, as seen on the poster. She is Leigh Ally Baker, aka the Mom from Good Luck Charlie.

She’s pretty hot, I mean cool. She’s even the Executive producer! I like her in that role so this should be good. The main star is Laura Marano, mostly known for Austin & Ally. How should I describe here, at least as Ally Dawson..

The term Adorkable is thrown around a lot, and I rarely use it myself to describe certain characters. She’s the exception.

…On that awkward note I’ll say she’s good and move on. So we have the makings for a decent DCOM, so let’s just dig in it and see how it is.

This, is Bad Hair Day

The movie opens with shots of a room set to a pop song as the credits roll. Ever notice that almost every DCOM opens that way? I just noticed that hence why I phrased it that way

The movie actually opens with a montage of our main character, Monica, played by Laura Marauno, getting ready for a thing. After that, we cut to her waking up sometime later, thanks to her friend who called to tell us that it’s the day of prom. Insert exposition picture here.

As a side note, this was filmed around the same time as a prom themed Austin & ally Episode. She did make jokes in interviews about being prom’d out, don’t worry. Hell, the first trailer for this premiered with that episode.

“All is right with my universe”

And something terrible is about to happen.

Sure enough, her hair is all screwed up due to a big mistake while doing something. I guess you can say she’s having a… very unfortunate day when it comes to her hair?

On top of that, her dress is ruined and so are her shoes. Well, that was quick. The basic premise the title promises is the first thing to happen! And yet this is still 90 minutes long.

Then she gets a call from the DMV saying her driver’s test is next year, when she’s in college. Their only available one besides that is today, so she has to do it. Oh, what a wacky series of bad events, amirte?

She talks with her Dad about all this, and he basically just says “That sucks honey”. He’s supportive but not exactly helpful. He also gives us “old person tries to be hip” jokes which are somehow never funny despite mocking trends I hate.

Her doorbell rings and it happens to be Officer Liz, played by Leigh Allyn Baker. It didn’t long for her to show up and honestly that’s one problem the movie kind of has. The basic premise, happens pretty much right away.

Which is good, but it also means there’s about to be a bit of lull in the plot once it starts with the characters just doing stuff until something happens. I think they should have used the first 10 minutes to build some character with our protagonist before all this happened.

It still works as it is but they could have fixed some pacing issues if they took their time, you know.

Anyway, she happens to be FBI.

“The America FBI?”

“Is my Russian accent throwing you off?”

Heh.

Eventually she confess she isn’t with the FBI and she’s just a private investigator. Liz asks her about a certain necklace that she happens to have. Yep, she also owns a supposed stolen necklace. Yeesh.

They talk and Liz helpfully tells us about Monica’s character.

“You’re a high school student, you’re allergic to nickel, you’re young for your class, you’re dating a jock polition whose popular but soulless, You live along with Dad no siblings, because Mom left when you were really young”

Yes, use the fact that Liz is proving she’s a smart PI person to cover up lazy exposition. She also happens to know that she got that necklace at a pawn shop, and __ says she will give it up if Liz gives her a ride to the places she needs to go.

Because no neighbors can do it, and walking is overrated, I guess. She also needs to do this before she gets the necklace, so they can have time to develop their arcs and stuff.

But that’s enough conflict, so we cut to our villain. He visits the pawn shop, and he’s as amazing and suave as you would expect him to be.

“I’m looking for a necklace”

Dun dun dun. …Next scene.

Liz and Monica head off in Liz’s car which is full stuff to make jokes about it.

“Don’t touch the red button, nothing good happens when you touch the red button”

Oh, self aware, I like. …Someone’s gonna touch that later. Also, the Car is named Brando.

“Yeah, after Marlin Brando”

Weird reference to put in DCOM but okay. Then we get some filler involving some douchbags that go to Monica’s school. Liz basically calls them out for playing their music too loud and littering on a public road, just to be a bitch for whatever reason. It’s mildly amusing but weird.

“I can’t believe that just happened”

After that incident they talk and Monica mentions that she’s running for prom queen, and she is a bit desperate for votes. Which is why she didn’t like Liz embarrassing her in front of those douchebags. Every vote counts?

And if you’re wonder, Monica covers up the Liz thing by saying she is her aunt Hilda, although no one asks where Aunt Zelda is. Anyway, they go around a bit and Liz starts acting like kind of a bitch. Not quite to unredeemable levels, but they should clam her down a bit. I think they do, but my memory is never good.

To be fair, she just snarks on things I would be angry about it. We’re now at the part where they stumble around waiting for the plot to move forward, so that’s why I’m not saying too much on the exact things that happen. We do get some good chemistry and amusing moments.

First they miss a hair appointment, then they try and fail to return Monica’s ruined dress. Liz kind of ruins those things but really they would have gone bad either way. It’s still bad enough for Monica to decide she’s had enough, at least.

Eventually things kind of move forward as when they are at the mall, Liz sees Monica’s boyfriend flirting with another girl. Are you sure that cliché is really needed? The guy was barely in the movie up to this point and the plot was fine without it.

And of course he is flirting with the Alpha Bitch who is up against Monica for prom queen. She’s enjoyable but pointless, even more than the one from Better Boy. …I’m reviewing Alpha Bitches now, what has my life come to?

“This isn’t what it looks like”

Spoilers, it is.

Naturally this is the final straw for Monica and she breaks down crying. Liz even starts to be sympathetic here. I have to say, this actress crying makes this moment more depressing than it should be.

Liz stands up for her goes all cop on the douche-y boyfriend. It’s predictable but awesome. It does go a bit overboard but ah well. This is one of those parts where the director forgot to yell cut.

She basically pretends to be a mall cop and she gets caught by a real one and they head downtown. That reminds me, I gotta do Paul Blart 2 at some point. They are taken to the police station where they bump into Liz’s old partner, Ed. So of course they have to hint at a romance with him. Even when the plot does move them, they feel the need to stop to chat. Although I suppose it forwards Liz’s character a bit and it’s kind of amusing.

Ed manages to get them to drop the charges against Liz but the angry chief won’t have any of it. Oddly enough, the yelling chief is a white female for once.

“Liz and the chief have a special relationship”

“Clearly one that involves a lot of yelling”

…Not touching that one.

We find out that Liz was pretty awesome at one point but kind of went downhill. Hmmm, awesome cop that went downhill? Okay, place your bets on which cliché backstory they will use! I say she lost a MacGuffin to the bad guy.

They leave but Monica asks Liz to tell her the whole story. Backstory time! The necklace was a star attraction at a museum, and Liz was in charge of security. The bad guy took the thing and she wasn’t able to stop him in time because she refused to call for backup.

So because she lost that thing, it was a bad mark on her record, and she worked hard to try to get it back but due to this, her work started slipping. In other words, I called it! Hopefully you all made the right bets.

Anyway, needless to say Liz was fired for this. Now we’re getting somewhere. As cliché as that its, it does help make the story more interesting by tying two arcs together. My only problem is that it’s super cliché but not DCOM cliché so I’ll let it slide.\
The bad guy found a buyer for the thing but he accidently gave it to the wrong person and the necklace eventfully made its way to a pawn shop where Monica got a hold of it. Again, somewhat clever way to tie these two stories together. Hey, it’s more interesting than some other DCOM’s I know of.

By the way, since this happened because Liz failed to call for backup, and she isn’t asking for help at the moment, you can guess what the obvious moral is: Eat your Veggies!

“Lone ranger style?”

Nah, I can’t see Johnny Depp playing Monica, really.

The discussed moves to Monica’s development as she explains that everything she does is put up for vote online and she doesn’t’ really do things for herself. She has a speech about this and it actually adds to her development in a somewhat decent way.

It’s clunky how they took like 5 minutes to dump all this stuff but it could be worse. ..Then when it’s done they abruptly move over to the DMV for the driver’s test. …Wow, that’s some bad mood whiplash, yikes.

“No one drives Brando but me”

Spoilers, it does not cut to them driving Brando. …Okay it does. Damn Gilligan cuts.

We then get a wacky driving scene but as soon as Monica is told to get out, the bad guy pops up.
“Floor it”

MRS PUFF: Don’t floor it!

SPONGEBOB: Floor it!

At one point, Liz decides it’s time to push the red button. Called it again! It turns out the button makes the car go super fast. …That’s a disappointing twist. They are able to outrun him and the bit ends with a lame joke.

“…Did I pass?”

She did not and Brando is being impounded. With that, pretty much everything is ruined for Monica. Which means she’s gonna bitch at Liz and we have our obligatory end of 2nd act conflict. Man, this movie is more predictable than I remember.

Of course, they storm off and Liz heads off to deal with the necklace herself. But as soon as Monica leaves, she gets a call from the bad guy, telling her to come to a warehouse. Well, he’s clearly up to good things!

Monica then goes to Liz and tells her this, so they have to go meet him. Wow, that break up didn’t last long. It’s almost like it was rushed!

They need to give him the necklace but it’s in Monica’s purse…which is in the car that got impounded. Yeah, Monica had the thing n her person the whole time but it was not brought up because this movie can’t be 5 minutes long.

They visit the impound place but it’s a long wait til they can see if their car is there. Thankfully, Monica is smart enough to be able to hack things and all that stuff. Long scene short, she does the hacking and they are able to get their car back. It was a decent scene but it’s skippable…so I skipped it. With their ride back, they look through Monica’s purse and…don’t find the necklace.

Wah wah.

As it turns out, she swapped purses with her friend so they go to her. While at the park where the friend is, they bump into the jerk-y (now ex) boyfriend who apologizes for what he did, and asks her out.

Thankfully, the movie decides not to redeem him and he ends up falling the lake along with his Alpha bitch girlfriend who he now kind of hates. How do these guys end up with bitches like this anyway?

After that pointless bit, they get the necklace. That was so quick that this last minute is now pointless. They just had to meet with jerk boyfriend again for some reason.

So now they go to the creepy warehouse to meet with the bad guy. Somehow they still end up taking time for small talk, like revealing that the chief is Liz’s mother. That’s cool but not the time or place.

When they are done waxing poetic, they meet up with Bad Guy (nto even gonna bother learning his name) who is as over the top as you might expect.

“Where’s my DIAMOND?”

Random EMPHASIS. Oh, and I forgot ot mention that bad guy kidnapped Monica’s father because of course he did. He gets his necklace back, but he isn’t going to give up Dad now.

“What kind of incompetent criminal do you think I am?”

The kind of who lost the necklace to begin with. Monica is able to track Dad through the magic of a tracking app.

The actual characters mock Bad Guy for being dumb about this, that’s how dumb this is. I just love how they mock this, since in older movies a plot like this would go on further and I would be snarking on how new tech would change it. And it’s actually pointing that out.

Bad Guy tries to make his escape, but Liz called for backup for once so a bunch of cops show up. Liz shoots him with a taser so he can be captured easily. Yep, he’s defeated with an Anti Climax.

Raise your head if this shocks you.

With him in custody, they head back to the police station so Liz can finally turn in that necklace. With that, she gets her badge back. Yay. Not a huge wrap up for her arc, since Chief Mom doesn’t really say much but ah well, we still have like 10 or so minutes left.

Of course that time will be spent on the prom, right after a quick scene with Dad regarding MIT or whatever. You know, it’s so odd seeing characters in movies or shows talk up porm so much when in real life, I don’t see people being as uppity about it. Hell, I didn’t go to prom because I chose not to so shut up with your jokes about my lonely love life that is totally active!

After a quick montage Monica gets her perfect dress and then we finally head to prom. Liz even gets to go, complete with some cop friends and Chief Mom. So we end with prom companied by a bunch of big people of notable authority. …Sounds like something I saw in another DCOM recently.

This is where we get our moment with Chief Mom that I just said didn’t exist. …It’s really short so it still stands. Also, Monica is prom queen which is dumped on her about as quickly as it’s dumped on us.

This gives her a chance to tell our epic “sweet” speech to help recap the movie. She learned that it’s okay to be yourself. You shouldn’t put yourself up for vote, and yada yada. A decent message I suppose, and I’ve seen it done way worse. Cliché but well-meaning enough to not be terrible.

After her speech, they all dance and act happy. Then the movie goes for a few more minutes to bring everything important back and close things out in a very well place man–nah it ends here.

Well, at least it ends after Liz hooks up with Ed. Meh. Honestly, this is not a decent ending. With the music nad stuff, it feels a lot more satisfying. Plus the plot is small enough that they got everything wrapped up okay. A lot better than Cloud 9, which tried the same thing.

Man, even I’m getting tired of riffing on rushed endings. …Also, yes, the main female star gets a song in the credits.

Final Thoughts:

In spite of every problem I’m about to get into, I actually enjoyed this one more than the previous few DCOM’s, and even the other two from this year. Some of them are “Better” in that thir highlights are better, and more ambitious.

But at the same time, I like that this one is small scale compared to others. Nothing ambitious, just a simple movie, even if it is quite wacky in some areas. It’s a nice change of pace and it is a nice, simple, enjoyable movie.

I did enjoy it and while it’s nothing grand, it’s still okay. But let’s analyze it, and go through the flaws first. The biggest problem is the way the story is told. It has a few too many clichés but I can forgive that.

The exposition is the problem. I went through this but they really just dump info on us at random points. There are tons of moments of character just discuss how they feel in a clunky manner. I already said the story goes off a bit after Liz shows up which means they have to force in these scenes sometimes.

And because of this, some of them may come off as too forced. Like they are telling instead of showing. It’s not a big issue for me but it is distracting. The actual story is not the attraction here.

It’s cliché but well meaning with some nice morals. They do an okay job at exploring these characters and how they feel. It’s cliché and clunky sometimes but they did try to go deepe here. Kind of like Cloud 9 but this didn’t pretend it was smarter than it really was, for the most part.

Mostly because the focus is on the leads. Even moreso than usual, this coasts off the charm of it’s leads and it works. They have good chemistry and some fun back and forth.

Sometimes it gets too heavy but usually it’s good. They are the main reason the movie is fine. It’s fun to see them hang out and it makes the sweet scenes work better. Both actors turn in a decent performance, especially Laura Marano.

The actual characters are alight. Unlike Cloud 9, I feel like both leads got equal development. Liz’s backstory makes her decent and while it could have ended better, her arc had weight. Monica’s story is mostly told through just them talking about her deal, but she does learn nice morals throughout.

They both help each other and feel equal in the end. Not the best characters, and Liz can be annoying sometimes, but still good. Everything else is…there. The villain is put but pointless, and all the other character exist to move the plot, like the Boyfriend (whose whole deal was pointless) and Dad.

So if you don’t like the leads, your are out of luck. Thankfully, I like them. While the writing isn’t the best, it does an okay job with it’s development and themes. The leads are likable and have good chemistry and when it works, it works.

It’s nothing special but it is a fun and nice change of pace from the more hectic DCOM’s we’ve been getting. It’s quite flawed critically but it does a lot right for a movie like this. So I did enjoy it and you should check out if it looks good.

Grade: B

Hopefully, it won’t be too long before I can finish catching up.

Next time, we’re finally doing a theatrical 2015 movie. I’ll skip the old gag and say it’s Strange Magic. …Yay.

See ya.

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Top 40 Next Best Phineas and Ferb Songs (Part 2)

Hello, Spongey here.

I don’t have a lot to say here. We’re back counting down some of my other favorite Phineas and Ferb songs. We’ve covered 10 and now we have to through even more. As you can guess, the first half of this list mostly consists of “Honorable mentions” to the previous list. Songs that are awesome but not among my real favorites.

That’s why my choices for the 1st part and this are a bit weird in some places, because they’re just random ones I love. The next 2 parts are the real deal, but a lot of these are just as good as the ones later on.

With that said, here is the list so far.

40. Doofenshmirtz Evil Hideout Vacation Swap

39. Happy New Year

38. Going Deep Into Your Mind

37. Extraordinary

36. Tomorrow is This Morning Again

35. Brand New Best Friend

34. Interface

33. Giant 3D Scrapbook

32. In The Empire

31. No Momo

And let’s jump back in.

This, is The Top 40 Next Best Phineas and Ferb Songs (Part 2).

30. Shark of Danville Harbor [Belly of the Beast]

(Written by Jim Bernstein, Micheal Diedirch, Robert Hughes, Martin Olson, and Dan Povenmire)

And we begin with an odd choice to put later than some “Better” songs. But dang it, I dig this one so much.

This song appears right at the start of the episode, as a Sea Captain dude known as Captain Squint explains the history the Danville Harbor Day thingy. The song serves as funny exposition and it’s awesome.

They did a “Nautical” type song before with The Ballad of Badbeard and while that was fun, it was only a warmup for this. It’s a Sea Shanty of course and it’s a really epic one. The tune is really memorable and catchy and the other aspects just serves to make the song even better.

It’s short at less than a minute but makes the most of that time. They pack in a lot of stuff here and it flows really well. The singer has the right voice for this and he really makes it even funnier.

The character is voiced by Nick Frost but I don’t know he did the song. Either the singer is fun. The lyrics of course pack in a lot of humor and discuss how scary the shark is.


If it’s sharks you want to know about
You’re bound to end up smarter
‘Cause though technically a vertebrate
They’re cartilaginous

Great use of words no kid knows, by the way.

The story they tell is amusing as well, as the Shark made them …well they say there was a long line for the head. Ew. And the shark only got defeated by the women banging pots and pans, driving him out to say.

That’s kind of awesome and funny at the same time.

But for me, the beat and flow make this one stand out. It’s just so damn memorable and catchy! They proves the show can tackle any genera and somehow make it awesome.

Like I said, it’s at the start of the episode and this is a case where it really started off the right fight. Is the rest anywhere near as good? Well it has Candace going after the boys’ mechanical Shark…Moby Dick style.

…I’m gonna say Yes.

The song moves, with its memorable beat and funny lyrics. It’s a lot of fun and it really captures the whole nautical mood really well. Once again it proves this show can pretty much do anything with its music.

It’s short and sweet, just like this section. That’s my way of saying that’s I got. The song is a fun sea shanty and it just works. It’s awesome, so let’s move on.

29. All the Convoluted Reasons we pretend to be Divorced [Tales from the Resistance: Back to the 2nd Dimension]

(Written by Robert F Hughes, Swampy Marsh, Martin Olson, and Dan Povenmire)

THIS SECTION IS MISSING DUE TO IT BEING EATEN. NOT BY THE ASCII MONSTER BUT BY WORD NOT KNOWING WHAT SAVED MEANS. In short, it’s got a great concept and it’s really catchy.

28. Lies [Let’s Bounce]

(Written by Robert F Hughes, Martin Olson and Dan Povenmire)

This song is horrible.

“Lies!”

With that obvious joke out of the way, let’s talk about this song. For a Doof song, it’s kind of noble and …well, truthful. It’s all about Doof’s theory that what holds socity together isn’t peace or whatever: its lies.

Like a few other songs, there isn’t a big special thing that makes this song great, so it’ll be hard to talk about. It’s just an especially fun Doof song. It mostly works due to a rather unique sort of 60’s rock sound, which makes it pretty awesome.

The song gets slightly repetitive in the middle, with Doof saying LIES after random people say things, but it gets back to the verse so I don’t mind. Plus, the random conversations we here are amusing. I imagine you could write a whole story around each of them.

The whole song is just really unique and funny. It also the other ingredient such as good flow and a good subject. I mean, he does have a point when you think about it. Don’t even try to deny it. It makes for a pretty accurate and funny song.

The lyrics do a good job proving his point, including the random conversations:

Lies are the glue that hold society together

People lie about their mileage, they lie about the weather
They lie to spare each other’s feelings

They lie to stay in bed

They lie to feel important, about all the books that they’ve read

I gave my spiel on Doof’s singing, so I don’t need to tell you it’s great. I also mentioned the tune but it is pretty memorable and makes the song good. This also has a really satisfying ending that just rocks, and I love how it builds up to it.

…Yeah, I told you there isn’t much to say about this one. I was going to save my speil on Doof’s voice for here but I ended up putting a Doof song lower. This song is cool but it doesn’t give me a lot to say except for some comments on its subject.

It’s just a very fun, rocking and accurate song. It’s different from other Doof songs and that’s why it’s great. It just needs to be longer since the LIES part takes up a bit of the song. Otherwise, that’s all I got.

You can expected the next few to be short since we’ve hit a stream of very good, and well made songs that don’t have a lot to them. But despite that, this song is very interesting and a lot of fun.

And that ain’t no lie.

…Shut up.

27. Troy Song [Troy Story]

(Written by Swampy Marsh, Martin Olson, Scott Peterson, and Dan Povenmire)

If you thought the last section was short, just get a load out of this one. More so than the last couple, it gives me little to work with. See, there are some songs that objectvitly belong slightly lower but end up high due to me just really liking them. This is one of those cases.

This song is great but it has flaws that usually would put it lower, but I just dig it so much. This song happens during the boys Trojan War reenactment, (which they did after postponing it for like 4 years). Dan Povenmire pops up to sing a song about it.

The song hits all the beats you need for a good P&F song. It takes a subject, gives it an unfitting style and fills it with clever lyrics about the subject. That describes a lot of songs in this show and that’s why this one ended up being here. I just dig those kind.

This one has an “Irish Rock” thing going on and makes for a pretty unique and fun song. The flow is pretty good for the most part, but it kind of drops near the end so they can just shout “Troy” over and over.

That’s what I wasn’t sure about putting this one here, because it does get a bit too repetitive. This is a perfect example of a song that needs an extended version. An extra verse before the end would be great. Especially since the song was so clever before the end part.

But it’s still really good as it is. The strong point here is the lyrics. For the most part..

There was a hottie named Helen and she launched a thousand ships with her face
Paris took her home to Troy, and to the Greeks this was a slap in the face

Did they just rhyme face with…face? Also, Isabella is Helen here so the line is creepy. But for the most part they are clever:


He said, “Hold your Trojan horses, now we’re having a fight!
And I haven’t sacked or pillaged since at least last Saturday night.”

They fit in a few bits like that and it’s good. Everything else is just simply good. I commented on the flow and the flaws with that, and the singing is of course pretty good as it has Dan Povenmire using that Chains on Me voice again.

This song is just easy to like because it just does what the show’s songs do best. It’s just special due to the subject matter. Also, despite it being repetitive at the end, it still keeps some kind of flow and is decently catchy. I love how Irving tries to butt in but the music stops before he can.

If this song were longer, it would be slightly higher, but it’s still pretty good as it is. It’s a really fun with a unique style and some clever lyrics. It just did what the songs tend to to, and that’s all it needed.

And…yeah that’s all I got. I said it would be short, because it really doesn’t give me a ton to work with. It’s a good example of what these songs can do. It’s fun and it has an interesting style. That’s really all you can say.

And I think that’s all you need…so let’s move on. Troy Troy Troy!

26. Untieable Knot [Knot My Problem]
(Written by Jeff “Swampy” Marsh, Martin Olson, and Dan Povenmire)

With this entry, we are on the next level of catchy-ness. This song was originally back in part 1, but after thinking, I bumped it up. I considered putting it higher, but I thought this was a good slot for it. Yes, it’s that good.

This will be another hard to explain one, as it’s great-ness comes from things that hard to really go into. It’s not a wildly different style or anything. It’s just a REALLY catchy tune.

See, in this episode the boys recreate the Gordian Knot and try to untie it, while Candace tries to figure out whats in this weird box she found. Both get a song.

This song is just really well made with its tune and everything. It switches between the kids singing and Candace, and it all flows really well. Yeah, it’s another “flow” song and it’s a really good one.

The singing is hard to comment on seeing as all the kids singing at once doing their part, but it’s still pretty good and Candace is good as usual. This song is one of those hard to sing ones due to how fast they sing some of those words, at least in the first part.

The lyrics aren’t the best but they are pretty good with some word play and puns:

It’s got closed bends, loop splices, bowlines and lashings.

Maybe we can loosen it with just a little thrashing.

Square knots, sheepshanks and all kinds of hitches.

When it comes to constraint, there’s an embarrassment of riches.

Honestly, the tune and flow are the strong point of the song but the lyrics are pretty solid too. The tune itself is one of those really catchy ones that just comes out of nowhere and gets stuck in your head. It’s really good, especially the chorus.

It’s one of those songs that got better as I thought about it. It was originally lower since I saw it as a “pretty good” filler song, but the more I heard it, the more I realized how good it is.

It’s just so dang catchy and the flow is just so good. It keeps up a good pace as it switches between the kids and Candace. It doesn’t get repetitive and it says great throughout its 1: 13 runtime.

Lengthwise, it’s fair. Got nothing to complain about here I don’t have an issue with this song really, it’s just slightly lower due to not being as special as some others. But man is it still awesome with its flow and tune.

And of course, there’s the very end:

“to untie the untyable…”

CANDACE: NOT….even close.

Hmm…that sounds…familiar…

“is this absolutely fabulous?…absolutely…..NOT!”

…Nah.

So overall this is a simple song that turned out really well with some great flow and an incredibly catchy tune. Doesn’t require a huge explanation, really. …Yeah, you see why this part took so long to make?

As a whole, I’d say this is knot bad. ….Get…it..knot..like..n-let’s move on.

25. Get Down [Sci Fi Pie Fly]

(Written by Celeste Moreno, Martin Olson and Dan Povenmire)

This one gets on the list purely for its concept. See, this is a fairly unique and awesome sounding song. What’s it about?

Doing nothing.

Yep, in this episode Candace decides to take day off and have a “Me day” and just do nothing. Believe it or not, she actually succeeds and doesn’t get up, even when the busting is ripe. It’s amazing.

Anyway, that’s where this song comes in. We’ve had songs about just watching something, but this is a song latterly about doing NOTHING.

It’s amazing. They managed to make an epic sounding song about doing nothing. That alone get it a spot on the list, but it happens to sound really good on top of that. This time I can get away with this section being short, as the song is only 30 or so seconds long.

Which means there isn’t much to work with, but let’s try. The main thing to notice about this one is how unique it sounds compared to other songs. I can’t really describe it (even the P&F wiki is stumped about the genere) but it sounds really neat and interesting.

This applies to both the tune and singing. It’s just produced in a very unique way and it’s really cool. On its own that would put it on the list, but the fact that it’s about doing nothing makes it even better.

The lyrics mostly serve to remind you of the song’s premise, but they have creative ways of doing so:

Get down, get down,
And feel the satisfaction;
Stop doing something,
Do the (non-reaction).

The lyrics and premise alone just make this one good as it helps make the unique sound even better. This is another Laura Dickinson one, so of course we got some good singing although the tune sticks out a bit more here.

It’s just done in a very cool way and it just sounds great. The short length isn’t too much of an issue since making a 2 minute song about nothing would be a bit much. This is just a joke song, but that joke is funny enough to put it on this list above arguably better songs.

…And that’s about it. Short song, remember? So I have more of an excuse than the last few, so suck it!

Overall, Get Down is a unique and awesome sounding song about doing nothing. That alone makes it the greatest song ever made, but there’s at least 24 better so let’s move on

24. Half a Day [Perry the Actorpus]

(Written by Martin Olson, Robert Hughes, and Dan Povenmire)

If you know me, you know I don’t typically go crazy for the “sweet” songs that aren’t flat out Sad songs. But somehow, I love this song. I tend like this type of songs more when they have a kickass beat, and this one has that, along with a few further down the list.

In this episode, Phineas and Ferb get some time with Perry for reasons you don’t care about. Cue this song. First off, seeing them spend some time with Perry is really sweet, so the situation is awesome enough on its own.

Instead of just being a generic sounding song, they make it sound really cool and it’s very catchy. It also has some funny visuals so it’s not too syruping. There is some Comedy in the lyrics but it’s funnier when matched with the visualks.

Like with Happy New Year, each aspect basically works together to capture a certain feeling. Which is another reason I don’t go for this type of songs. I like the more creative ones more, but more on that in the next part.

This song is performed by Kate Pierson of the B-52’s which is the main thing that gives this one its edge. The different singer really makes it stick out and she does a very good job here.

Because of her, it starts to sound like a real song and it’s really cool. The tune is pretty sweet and it sticks out compared to other songs. It’s a really catchy one too and the flow is pretty good as well. I also feel it’s just as long as it needs to be, but the soundtrack version repeats the chorus, which does it make more complete.

The lyrics aren’t the greatest compared to other songs, but I think they’re pretty good:

We could share a half a cheese sandwich
Or take in half a view
Or we can make it halfway through the zoo!
Oh baby!

Again, each aspect works to make a sweet and rocking song. The nice and amusing lyrics, the strong singing, and the awesome beat. It’s just a very nice song to listen to, while also being very strong.

It’s kind of sweet song I can dig. The only problem is that it’s maybe a bit filler-y since this is only a small part of the plot, so it wouldn’t hit as strong as other songs. It can also be a bit generic for some, but that’s a nitpick.

It’s still a really nice song with a rocking beat and some awesome singing. It’s just a fun and awesome song all around.

So in other words, it’s not half bad. ….I’m really reaching for these puns.

23. Livin’ with Monkeys [Where’s Perry?]

(Written by Dan Povenmire, and Swampy Marsh)

I’ve recently decided that Where’s Perry is the most underrated episode of the show, when it comes to its reception vs its quality. The songs are mostly not included in that. You know which one people love the most and the others compete for 2nd most unpopular, and while I’d call “On The Savanah” the most underrated, I think this one is better.

I can see why some may not talk about it. It’s a sad song and there are quite a few of those, and there are better and more memorable choices. And objectively most are better but I’ve always liked it due to how unique it is.

Here’s what I mean. Most of the “silly yet sad” songs show their concept out the gate. If you listen to them on their own without context, you can tell what the concept is right away. You know “When we didn’t get along” is about a platypus wanting to screw an evil scient.

This is different. It actually starts out very straight, with Candace singing about how she’s sick of life and stuff. It’s quite serious until..

“And I’m Living with Monkeys”

And that’s part of why the song is great. It actually makes you think it’s a dead serious osng before it reminds what song this is. And nothing about the previous scene hinted the song would really be about monkey, so it’s a surprise.

Although this song was actually teased, at Comic Con I think where they did say there would be a song with this title, but everyone assumed it would be a silly song.

It…mostly wasn’t. Some say there isn’t a 100 percent sad P&F song, but they’ve come close most of them time…and there are two in the from of “I walk Away” and “What Might’ve Been” .The former is too short to be on a list, and I’m not a shipper so I won’t put the latter.

A few other gems are better at being sad songs, but this is a personal favorite due to the misdirection and subject matter. I actually like it more than Little Brothes, believe it or not.

The lyrics do a great job at setting the mood. It really makes you think about how hetic and loud life can be. A lot of people can seriously relate to this. It kind of makes you want to life with Monkeys.

Tired of all the games
People play with your emotions
Tired of all the pressures of society
Tired of always feeling like I’m going through the motions (ooh..)

Sure, this is all happening because of Jeremy Problem #465 but it’s still really depressing. They manage to make this so depressing on a level I was not expecting they did a great job of making a typical Candace plot very different. So yeah, this episode was original despite familiar concepts.

…Sorry, still a bit bitter.
\

As you can imagine the melody and singing add to this. The tune isn’t the best, but it does work and it is fairly catchy while also being sad. It sets the mood pretty well. This is a Candace song as you can expect some great singing and yep, it’s good.

She adds to the emotional nature of this song, as you really feel what she’s going through. +And you can’t forget the excellent backup vocals by the monkeys, naturally voiced by Dee Bradly Baker. (So does that mean Perry is comforting her?)

But despite the sad stuff, there is humor from the basic concept. But honestly it’s still fairly sad since the humor doesn’t go overboard.

They’ve accepted me as one of their own , At least that’s what I’m assuming.
It’s not really all that bad
Once you get used to all the grooming

Even the visuals with her hanging with Monkeys are pretty sweet. The humor still works but it’s the sad stuff that makes it good. Heck, the song is so good it’s Soundtrack version came with an extra verse.

They actually rearranged the song a bit. In the Show version, the chorus is song along with the part I quoted, but in the soundtrack version it’s not present, and the ending is placed after the extra verse.

It doesn’t really add a lot to song compared to others, but it does make it a bit more complete. I do prefer the TV version a bit despite the extra verse. But either way it’s still good.

This song builds up the emotion really well and has everything you need for a good sad song. It’s actually more emotional than some other songs due to the rather deep subject matter, and the humor.

Which is why I consider this one a bit underrated, but I can see why other songs stick out a bit more. But it’s my list so I say this song is awesome.

With emotion, humor, good themes, and great singing, this is an awesome song that definitely makes you want to live with monkeys. ..in a good way, not the sad way. It may seem a bit like other songs, but it’s pretty unique and incredibly awesome.

Much like the episode, it comes from, really.

22. Livin’ in a Funhouse [Misperceived Monotrome]

(Written by Kaz, Martin Olson, Dan Povenmire, Rob Hughes, and Tom Minton)

There’s no doubt that Phineas and Ferb songs tend to be very weird, due to creative concepts created by drugs. But what happens they actually try to make a song that’s as weird as possible?

You get this.

This song has Candace and Jeremy exploring a funhouse the boys made and knowing them, you expect something truly fan, and it is really is. This song may go udner the radar due to other weird songs, but I have a soft spot for it.

Every single aspect of this song tries really hard to be weird, from the music to the lyrics to the visuals. It creates a very surreal atmosphere that works really well. It’s a ton of fun all the way through.

The writers clearly put a lot a lot of effort into making this as strange and fun as possible. It’s probably the most creative song in the show, at least in visuals. They don’t just say a few weird things.

No, they go all out with tons of creative puns and visuals gags. The tune is a fittingly weird one and it’s incredibly catchy. Naturally, this has a fast pace so it needs some great flow and it really does. It goes by fast in a good way but it has just as much effort put into it as any other song in the show.

Here’s a peek at some of these lyrics:

A million doors in the hall
And the table’s on the wall
And the bathtub is your bed
And a floating baby head

Can’t have a weird song without the Giant Floating Baby Head. The show has used weirder subject matter, but the lyrics try to be weird so it’s on a different level. The weird-ness comes from the visuals more than anything.

this has some of the best visuals of any song, and they pack it in a lot of great gags that I won’t spoil. The singer puts on a weird voice here and it works to make things even more fun. It’s the same guy who did Dance Baby, Aaron Jacob. Yep, the song of Danny Jacob and he may have even more talent than his father.

He can do some great things with his voice, and this isn’t even his best performance on the list! This was his first real song, (his previous ones were short or with other people) and it’s a great start.

I can forgive the short length (1 minute, 7 seconds) since this is a Comedy song. Although it did get a Soundtrack release. It’s short and sweet.

This song is one of the most fun in the show and everything about it works. The only reason tis’ not higher is because other songs have more weight, you know. But this is still a unique and awesome song.

It’s got a unique beat, strong singing, good lyrics, creative visuals and a great flow. It works perfectly to create a fun atmosphere and for that reason, it earns its place on the list.

It’s short but it puts the “fun” in “Funhouse”.

21. Brave New World/Professor Elemental Future Past [Steampunx]

(Written by Paul Alborough, Robert F Hughes, Martin Olson, Joshua Pruett)

Have I ever told you how much I hate the “Refrain from Assuming” Trope? Basically, it’s when the title of a song is not the phrase they say in the bulk of the song. It’s always gotten on my nerves.

When I refer to a song by a title for a while, it’s a pain to always to be corrected on the title and have to remember it again simply because I actually listened to the catchy chorus. It gets on my nerves so much.

Mainly because…if you don’t want us to think it’s the title DON’T SAY IT 50 MILLINO TIMES! Is that so hard?!

…What does this have to do with anything? Well, plenty of songs from this show has had it’s titles changed on the wiki due to this fact. Half A Day has been called “Let’s Spend a half a day”, Livin’ in a funhouse is just “funhouse” and so on. It’s dumb for reason I’ve explained so that’s why I just call them what I want.

But it’s really annoying with this song. They keep saying “Brave New world” in the chorus…but according to some place called BMI, it’s called “Professor Elemental Future Past” so that’s what the wiki calls it.

The title doesn’t even make any sense ontop of not being said in the song! It’s dumb to use BMI because sometimes they get it wrong and the wiki ignores them!

So I just put both titles to please those who are picky. Ugh. On one final note, the TV Tropes page for the Trope, the first example under Western Animation is this show. Fitting.

Anyway, you can debate on the title but there’s no debate on the quality of this song.

This one will be hard to explain as it’s hard to pin down exactly what makes this song great, besides the obvious which I’ll get to in a minute. This song comes a Season 4 Timeshift episode, as a guy introduces us to the Danvile World Fair in 1903.

The song has him singing about the “future” and stuff like that. The Wiki describes the style as “Chap Hop” which I think fits. It’s a rap song but cuz of the subject matter it’s somewhat old timey and the clash works pretty well.

First off, this is another one of those songs that is hard to sing. It’s not as fast as others, but just the lyrics themselves matched with the pace makes it hard. This is one of the few I can’t sing without looking at the lyrics, if that says anything.

The style is pretty unique and it’s really cool. The tune is decently catchy and it gives this song it’s edge, as well as it’s singer. That’s Professor elemental doing this, and while I’ve not too familiar with him, he’s obviously big enough to have a song on this show.

He does a really good job here, putting plenty of feeling into and he helps make it even more fun. There aren’t a lot of actual written jokes, but it’s still a pretty humorus song because of some of the visuals and the fact that it’s a rap song.

The visuals include a few amusing moments, and cameos from old timey versions of characters who don’t appear in the rest of the episode. We see old timey Irving (and his family, making this the first time Irving’s Mom showed up since her duet) and old timey Monty hanging out with old timey Vanessa. She appears later but not with Monty so suck it.

The lyrics feature a lot of fancy words and clever gags, which should be expected. Again, the exact words and the pace make it hard to sing for me.

A robotic rooster starts the morning,
And a rocket-powered cycle takes you skyward and you’re soaring
‘Til you fall towards a lovely picnic made of future food,
Steam-powered sandwiches, useful speaking fruits

They do some fun gags with the various “future” objects and of course they are all funny. This is a particularly clever song with how they do it, and it’s really unique. The fast pace helps make this one even better, and while it’s only about a minute, they pack in a lot into that minute.

I still want an extended version but it works on its own. Like I’ve almost said before, short length can be forgiven if you pack in a lot into that short time. This song does it very well.

This is just another one of those songs that takes a certain subject matter and style if just runs with it. That’s part of why I don’t have a lot to say here, since it does what other songs do and I have more to say about some of those other songs.

But it is still unique with its fast pace and singing. I like it more than Extraordinry and Mom Look before it has more of a hook so it sticks in my head more. I Really Don’t Hate Christmas is still my favorite fast song due to the concept, though.

But this is still a pretty creative song with a catchy tune and some fun lyrics. It’s nothing groundbreaking but it’s a pretty good one and it’s a ton of fun all the way through. I’d say it’s the best song to be in a Timeshift episode but…way of the platypus. Yay.

Overall, confining title aside, this is a fun song which has creativity, style, and a very awesome guest singer. It’s yet another unique song for this unique show.

It’s uh…insert future/old timey pun here? It’s good.

And with that, we’re done with part 2. We’re halfway through people! Tune in for part 3 (which will hopefully not take too long) where we finally get into the real heavy hitting awesome songs.

See you there.

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