Top 40 Next Best Phineas and Ferb Songs (Part 1)

Hello, Spongey here.

Well, Phineas and Ferb is officially over. I’ve talked about it a lot on here, and despite that I’m sure to bring it up again. But in terms of big posts, I wanted to give it a proper farewell. Don’t worry, my big ending speech will happen eventually.

I’ve counted down the best episodes (twice), reviewed the movie, talked about the weak episodes (at this moment, I like the Baljeatles more, and you can replace it with Return Policy) and counted down 40 of the best songs.

And now I’ve got two more lists to do before I’m more or less done with big P&F posts. Season 4 as over so naturally it will involve that and more. As I just said, I did a list of the top 40 songs. And unlike my episode list, it’s not too bad and I stand by some of my choices.

But it was flawed. The main list, (top 20 or so) was planned for a while (2010 or so),and I was too stubborn to fit in newer songs, for the most part. So songs like Weaponry, that are currently in the top 20, were a bit too low.

I also had songs that while good, that aren’t top 40 worthy such as Disco Miniature Golfing queen. But at least here I get why the list was the way it was. It’s pretty different now, as about only 24 songs are still there (with some being pushed down to the ultimate top 80…or top 100).

I thought of remaking the list like I did with the episode list but my top 3 is the same. The rest of the list is different enough now, but it would be lame to do a new big list only for the top 3 to be the same.

So I decided to do something a different. Remember how I said I have a whole top 100? Yeah, I seriously do. I do want to share a lot of the new entires to the list and a good amount of the runners up.

Thus, I will be counting down the 40 NEXT best songs. That’s right, I will be doing over 40 of the best songs that did not make my previous list, either cuz I didn’t love them as much at the time, or they came out after.

Basically, this is what my Top 40 looks like without the inclusion of the original 40 songs. I was going to do a top 20 but there are too many songs I feel need recognition. So yeah, here’s another top 40.

Not much else to say really, here comes another tribute to the music that Danny Jacob and the crew offer to us. …I think having Dan in your name makes you can awesome composer.

Let’s get started.

This, is The Top 40 NEXT Best Phineas and Ferb Songs

But fair warning: This sections will mostly be short, since it’s kind of hard to go on for 10000 years about a song like this. How I did it in the first list is beyond me.

Also, before we start, I have an Honorable mention. Sort of. See, there are a few songs that they made outside of the show. You know, promotional stuff, and side shows like Doof’s daily dirt. I sadly could not include any, but I wanted to give them a shout out.

Examples include Doof Raps on rap (which sums up my feelings on rap), Dodger’s Stadium Code on Conduct (Proof they can make a catchy song out of anything) and Just Want to you see the smile, the best dental hygiene song since My Shiny Teeth and Me. The 2nd best is “My Secret Agent” a song made for that Where’s My Perry app that is AWESOME. How come no one ever talks about it?

But my favorite one is..

Animatin’:

We’ve all seen Behind the Scenes videos of how they make cartoons. It’s mostly just a bunch of people drawing and talking about drawing. Naturally, Dan and Swampy wanted to make a video on how they make the show. But they thought a normal video would be boring, so in true Phineas fashion, they made a song out of it.

Actually, no. They made a rap.

If this counted then this would be on the actual list, and very high up. It’s that good. It has everything you want in a great Phineas song. It takes a concept and creates a hilarious and awesome sounding tune out of it.

It’s also pretty educational as it does give you an idea of what making the show is like. But it does it in a way everyone will enjoy. The flow is really good with how much they pack in, in terms of education and humor. These two really have chops when it comes to rapping.

Here’s a taste of the lyrics:

All the good stuff here and all the bad stuff there
(Aliki Grafft: Hey, I worked hard on that!)
Hey, call somebody who cares!
‘Cause it’s a cutthroat live drawin’ boards and pitchin’
If you can’t stand the heat…
STAY OUTTA THE KITCHEN

Oh, and the visuals have a lot of fun gags and cameos from crew members. In short, this is the perfect Phineas song for it’s humor, lyrics and flow. Like I said, it counted it would very high on this list.

With that out of the way, let’s move on to the actual list! Oh, and I’ll be crediting songwriters cua…why not.

40. Doofenshmirtz Evil Hideout Vacation Swap [Live and Let Drive]

(Written by Dan Povenmire and Danny Jacob)

We already start out with a Season 4 gem. Doof is known for his catchy and awesome evil jingles, but it was about to time he got a real long one. He did want to finish the rest of that someday.

He never did, but to compliment a new evil hide out he got in the James Bood spoof episode (which took 4 season to get to) he got a new jingle. And it’s awesome.

And since this episode spoofs James Bond, this is in the style of a Bond theme. That pretty much earned this song a spot on the list and every aspect of it works really well. Both the music and singing do a wonderful of emulating a Bond opening, especially the likes of Goldfinger.

Of course, they did something like this with the Perry theme but this more directly spoofs a typical bond opening. By objeticte standards, this one deserves to be higher for how well made it is.

But these lists are mostly done by going with my gut, and my gut said to put it lower. Screw you, gut.

First off, the tune itself is excellent. Aside from perfectly getting the tone of a Bond theme right, they use the instruments to wonderful effect. I think my favorite part is the Cello right in the middle. So good. That’s good enough but then we have the singing.

This song is performed by Jill Whelan who is currently best known for being co-host of a podcast called The Brian and Jill Show. After listening to an episode of that featuring Dan and Swampy, I’m even more impressed by this song.

She can somehow go from sounding normal to basically being Shirely Bassey. In the context of the show, she is Doof’s Real Estate agent. If all real easte agents sung like this, that would be amazing.

She does a fantastic job with this song. She seriously could sing a real Bond Theme but here she is doing a spoof of it. This show always does a good job emulating other styles and this isn’t even the best example of it.

Doof himself even joins in for backup, like in a certain song we’ll get to it.

The lyrics are what you would expect from a song about a Doof location:

He can use the kitchen and the hallway closet
Don’t touch the rocket or you’ll lose your deposit


They fit in plenty of humor to make the song even better. The lyrics work pretty well and it goes with the other things that make this song great.
This is one of many songs that deserves a soundtrack release, especially since it sounds like a real song already. I’d be okay with being as long as it is now but an extra verse would be nice too.

This is certainly a song they went above and beyond with. Everything about it works and it’s extremely well made. I can see why a lot of people would have this higher, but I just enjoy some other songs more, I guess.

The lyrics are funny, the tune is excellent at emulating a Bond theme, and the singing is even better. It all comes together to make a song that rivals Bond’s best, as well as this show’s best.

And I guess that’s all I got. Told you these might be short. Sorry if I can’t come up with an essay on a minute’s worth of materiel.

While Doof’s best jingle will always be DOOFENSHMIRTZ QUALITY BRATWURST, this is a close 2nd. It’s pretty awesome.

39. Happy New Year

(Written by Dan Povenmire, Robert F Hughes, and Martin Olson)

And now we have another Season 4 Classic From what I see, this is the “Summer Belongs to You” of Season 4, and was featured in like episode 4 in production order. That’s impressive.

And of course it’s only Number 39. It’s great, I’m just into the crazier songs a bit more. For some reason, the big ending emotional songs don’t get me as much as others, but I like general emotional songs such as ducky Momo is my friend.

That’s not to do discredit this song, cuz it was awesome enough to get on the list. The show is getting better at these type of songs. Besides this one is a general new years song more than often.

Not much context is needed for this one. It happens at the episode and that’s it. So let’s move on to the actual song.

It’s more or less the type of song you expect when I tell you it’s a New Years’ song that plays in the backgrounds. It sounds great and it’s very feel good. It’s like the SBTY of Holiday songs. And it’s in a normal 11 minute episode. (Hell, they both Jeremy and Candace kissing near the end)

It’s very much designed to be a feel good song, and while it makes it less epic than the next 39 or so songs, it still works very well. The beat, lyrics and signing really help to make this one fun and sweet.

Speaking of signing, it is sung by Olvia Olson which means I don’t have to say that it’s great on that front. Yeah, expect more of her on this list. I’m not sure what it is about her voice, but it’s just really good. I do prefer it on Vanessa songs though, since this is the kind of voice I like more when it has “character”. I’ll get more into that later though.

She really helps give this song some extra oomph that the visuals and lyrics already have. Speaking of which, the visuals are interesting for a few reason. It’s just the characters dancing but there are a couple note worthy bits:

1. Irving’s Sweet dance moves.

2. Stacy and Coltrane because they hate me. …Though I will admit I enjoyed him in the Mandace episode. …it’s less disturbing than the title implies.

3. Phineas and Ferb doing Gangem style….seriously.

4.. Everyone is dancing next to their respective love interests. Phineas and Isabella, Jeremy and Candace, Doof and perry, Irving and…Gretchen?

…Okay then.

Lyric wise, it’s everything you want:

You know it hasn’t been bad
More happy than sad
But I’ll tell you I’m glad
When I think about starting all over again
Yeah, I know where we’ve been
But I don’t think about then
That was a moment
But this is another

Admittedly, I prefer the songs with witty lyrics, but we need a sweet song every once in a while. The lyrics keep the usual creativity as they found good ways to say happy New Year. It’s really the perfect way to end the New Year. Better than hanging out an all-star cast with a crappy script.

This is a good example of a song where every aspect sums up why it’s so good, and each elements complaint each other. The tune helps the lyrics, the lyrics help the singing and so on.

As such, it’s hard to analyze this one like the others. It’s meant to one big song enjoyable as a whole more than different parts working together.

But man is one awesome hole. This is one of those songs that really needs an extended versions of it hits a soundtrack song. It’s decently long as it is but I feel that an extra verse of a slightly better ending would put this song on a higher slot.

Plus, the characters talk over part the ending so getting rid of that would be great.

But overall, this song is pretty good. It’s a really sweet song that ends the episode with a bang and it just gives you a good feeling inside. A lot of times a satisfying song can make a good episode great, and this is the perfect example of that. The tune, lyrics and singing really help make this song a memorable highlight of Season 4.

So yeah, it’s really enjoyable.

…This is gonna be a long list.

38. Going Deep Into Your Mind [Monster from the ID]

(Written by Dan Povenmire, Jeff Swampy Marsh, Martin Olson and James D Bernstein)

Expect a lot of Mood whiplash on this list. Anyway, this song is about going into Candace’s Mind.

I don’t think I have to say more but I kind of have to.

Joking aside, this is one of those episodes you knew was going to be great from the premise. You all knew it would be all kinds of freaky, and man it was. This song sums it up pretty well.

First off, the visuals are as freaky as you expect. They throw in a lot of creative stuff at you and they complaint the lyrics pretty well. The animator’s certainly deserve credit for making Candace’s mind look as insane as possible.

This is another one where every aspect works together to create an atmosphere. This is supposed a trippy trip into someone’s mind and they capture that very well.

It’s a buildup song as it starts out simple and then goes all out insane in the end. The visuals and lyrics get weirder and it just gets intense and awesome.

Naturally, the singer helps add to the intense feel. That’s Dan Povenmire, showing how amazing he is. He can go from Goody Two Shoes Brothers to EVIL BOYS to this. Nice. Not much else to say on that front.

And of course the lyrics pack in tons of callbacks to previous Candace Facts and things kids won’t know about:

Repression, aggression, your embarrassing obsession,
Would make Freud annoyed but don’t be paranoid

And there’s this bit:

Were you traumatized by squirrels?
Or a little girl with curls?
Do you fear the number seven?
Does a zebra call you Kevin?

BUFORD: She’s really messed up.

They did a great rhyming here, as every reference fits with the song. I’m mixed on it’s length though. It’s about a minute. On one hand, this is the kind of song that’s just there to show them going through her mind, and it’s not meant to be a big event.

But it’s so awesome that an extra verse wouldn’t hurt. I’d say there’s no chance of this being on iTunes, but if freaking Izzy’s got the frizzies can get on a CD, then this one can too.

But even with its length, they don’t waste a single second. It’s so intense and awesome and that riff is awesome. It’s another example of a song that’s way more badass than you might expect from a Disney cartoon.

The lyrics, and visuals create an excellent atmosphere and it’s a ton of fun. It’s freaky, catchy epic and just plain good. Any song that mentions Freud and a Zebra is a good one in my book.

Candace is certainly a crazy and complex person and both this episode and this song show it perfectly. The fact that song is so cool doesn’t hurt either.

Overall, this is one weird but epic song that deserves a nice spot on the list. With that done, we’re going deep into this list.

37. Extraordinary [Great Balls of Water]

(Written by Robert F Hughes, Dan Povenmire, and Aliki Theofilopoulos)

It was hard deciding between this or Deep into your mind for this slot but I ended picking this one for its flow. We’ll get to that.

In this episode, Candace gets worried that she’s in a rut, doing the same thing over and over again. So thus this song kicks in as she starts to think she should be, in her owns extraordinary, not just Extra-ordinary.

First up, I can imagine this one being relatable to a lot of people. I think we’ve all though our lives have gotten kind of boring and it needed some spicing up. A imagine someone in a cartoon with a strict formula would have that feeling big time.

This song starts off slow, creating a nice mood and it’s very nice. But then boom, it becomes fast. And when I say fast, I mean fast. I Really Don’t Hate Christmas, Mom look previously held the record for fastest songs and…I think this is at least equal to them.

Like with those, anyone who can manage to sing them in one breath without looking at the lyrics deserves some kind of medal. As such, Ashley Tisdale deserves all of the medals. The lyrics pack in quite a bit and as such I can imagine it was hard to do this one. She pulled it off and yeah, that’s one great aspect of this song.

Yeah, figured I’d cover the singing first since it’s the lyrics and flow I wish to discuss. The tune is pretty good, but nothing too special. It mostly just helps the lyrics. I dig songs that start off as one type of song and become something else, and I like how they did it here.

This song has some epic flow it just never seems to slow down once it gets going. The visuals basically just show what they are saying but they are funny since the things Candace does get pretty crazy.

But the best part is the lyrics. For one…

Take a little time to really decorate my door, and

Change my hair to black and then I’ll dye it back to orange

Honestly, I’m surprised it took them 4 Seasons to attempt to rhyme with Orange. I’m more surprised that they didn’t try “Door hinge”

But anyway, they find tons of creative things for Candace to do and somehow manages to rhyme them all. Then they make them all flow with a single off moment. That’s incredibly impressive.

I could learn to cook vegetarian or take a fashion workshop,
Meditate, calculate, learn to knit a tank top,
Yoga, hula, clogging, jogging, walking on a tightrope,
Take a correspondence course and learn to make my own soap

This is a song that is more impressive the more you think about it, with how it’s put together. The length is also fine since it’s about 1:20 and each part is long as it needs to be. Part of me kind of wishes it was longer, but I guess I’m spoiled.

This one was lucky enough to get a soundtrack release, and all they did was make the start slightly better. Though there’s much to improve on to begin with.

The only thing that’s missing is a real “hook” to make it extra catchy. That’s why this isn’t any higher, but its flow is why it’s above the previous two. It has some of the best flow you’ll see in a P&F song with how much they pack into it.

The lyrics are very creative and funny, it mixes emotion and humor, and it flows really well and is impossible but fun to sing. While it’s low on the list, it’s still a very impressive song with a lot going for it.

It’s another one to add to the list of awesome Candace songs. And yeah, it’s pretty extraordinary.

36. Tomorrow is This Morning Again [Last Day of Summer]

When it comes to the singers on this show, the best when it comes to singing quality is probably Olvia Olson along with Ashley Tisdale and Alyson Stoner. But personally, my favorites are Ashley Tisdale and Dan Povenmire. Why?

Well, this show has some strong characters so I feel the best singing tends to be more the characters rather than background/normal people. Yet my Top 3 songs are by background people. Weird. Actually of My Top 5, Busted is the only done by characters.

As such, those 2 are my favorite because they sing for the most defined characters, Candace and Doofenshmirtz. Their songs tend to be the best, and the most popular. So as you imagine, a duo between the two has to be the best thing ever.

And it is.

Candace and Doof stumble upon an Inator that can repeat the day for them, and naturally they want to use it to achieve their goals. They sing about it. Since this ep was the finale, I’ll refrain some saying more. Trust me, I’ll have plenty to say when the time comes.

Much like how the last one was all about the lyrics, this one is all about the singing. I mean, putting the two best character singers in one song is going to be awesome so of course so their singing makes it great.

I’ll go into detail on the singing for Doof later but now I’ll say that his voice is somehow great despite being bad on purpose. Candace has a strong personality, so Tisdale’s singing style fits her pretty well and most of her songs tend to be unique, with some being better than others.

So putting them together is just…awesome. They are in separate scenes ala Busted but they still work great off each other. Actually, they even reference Busted with the visuals. Now that is amazing.

One of the reasons I say the singing is the selling point, is that the lyrics aren’t the best. Oh, they are good and fit the scene well but they don’t stick out as much the singing.

They say you only go around once,
They say that opportunity, it never knocks twice!
But if there’s one thing I can say about the people who say that:
They don’t have this cool device…

They do a good job showing how each characters about this new power and they are pretty good. But come on, you’re just going to remember how awesome it is to hear these two sing together.

It helps that the tune itself is great. It’s really upbeat and it makes this song even more memorable. In universe, it’s brought to us by Norm on Guitar. Man, he’s really kicking it up a notch in the song department.

So we have a great beat that will get the song lodge in your head. Combine that with the singer and you get a song you can’t help but listen to 10000 times once you hear it once.

I can’t really describe it but these characters just fit really well together. They are given a few separate fun verses before they finally sing together and that is done pretty well. I think the characters being so strong and similar makes them work as well as they do.

Doof and Candace being similar has always been a running theme, but you would believe the creators didn’t even notice it til this episode? It was obvious yet they didn’t know til the very end. Huh.

This song is one of those that is just “easy” to love. I mean, it puts two of the strongest singers together. Of course it’s going to one of the best sung duets in the show. While Busted is 500000000 times better, I dare say this has better singing, for obvious reasons.

I’m starting to repeat myself so I guess I should wrap this up. I just really like the singers for these characters and they did a great job pairing them together. I like how they sing together and the happiness the characters feel is infectious. That also adds to the song as well as the upbeat tune and wonderful singing.

Not to mention some clever visuals and lyrics.

Overall, this song brilliantly pairs up two great characters and their wonderful harmony, as well as a nice tune, helps makes this a fun and awesome song.

…Yeah, like I said, the singing is the highlight so it’s the kind that’s hard to sum up on its own. But still awesome song, so let’s move on.

35. Brand New Best Friend [Across the 2nd Dimension]

(Written by Dan Povenmire, Martin Olson, and Jon Colton Barry)

Remember how I said would go into detail on Doof’s voice later on? Well, I meant now since we’re dealing with two for the price of one. Or as Doof put it, Double Doofenshmirtz. (Coming at you Fridays!)

Anyway, my last list could only fit two At2d songs due to reasons I kind of went into. The other reason was that at the time those 2 stood out the most. Now, I’ve managed to fit some others in my immediate top 40, and thanks to the wiggle room in my top 100, I could fit in even more.

And we start them off with this gem. Despite its catchiness, most of the other ones stuck out more to me in terms of quality, so this one keeps getting the shaft. But man, it really is awesome, like all Doof songs are.

I’ve reviewed this movie so I’ve discuss this one before, and its context. I didn’t go into detail so I guess I can talk about it further now. Doof has meet an eviler version of him in the 2nd dimension and they hit it off.

Of course, they sing about it.

This is the “Villain song” of the movie and yet it’s surprisingly uplifting and fun. Of course you could never expect a serious villain song from Doof, much less two of them. Even if Doof 2 is actually evil.

There was a line earlier in the film about how Doof has no friends, so it is weirdly sweet for him to find his best friend. Even if things go south right after the song.

“Doom!”

The thing about Doof’s singing is that he has an intentionally bad voice for singing, but he’s actually a good singer. He’s no *Insert famous good singer here* but he can carry himself pretty well. He just has an odd voice so in universe, he’s a bad singer.

As a result, his songs tend to be pretty awesome. So putting two Doof’s in the same song was bound to be amazing.

This has everything you could want in a good Doof song. For one, it is excellent humor and it manages to rhyme all these various funny things.

“Do you want some rice pudding?

“No, that’s gross!”

“It was a test! Almond brittle?”

“ Ooh, I love it the most!”

“ Me too! “

“Do you collect coins?”

“, just in case, Vending machines become the Dominant race”

Oddly enough, they did go back to the vending machine in a later episode.

The humor is clearly the main selling point, as even the concept is amusing. Every lyric aside from the chorus is some kind of joke, and even the visuals are great. They feature Doof and Doof as famous duos such as the Lone Ranger and Tonto and…Phineas and Ferb.

Ew.

I don’t want to spoil a lot of jokes by quoting them, but trust me this song has some golden moments. They even pause the song for a joke and it actually works.

So this already has that going for it, but it also has good singing. Like the last entry, it’s due to the brilliant idea it has. They sing very well together, and I really have to give Dan Povenmire credit for being to sing as two Doofs. Especially since their voices are subtly different as Doof-2 is more evil.

I imagine he looked like a crazy person recording this song. Also, I like how in the Soundtrack version, Doof and Doof-2 are in separate Audio channels, so if you are using headphones, one is one side and one is in the other. That’s cool.

The tune creates that uplifting feel I mentioned and it helps make the song incredibly catchy. And of course you gotta love that Xylophone bit. Each aspect of the song serves as a selling point, and that brings us the flow.

Both Doof’s work really well together both in terms of humor and how the song works. They never miss a beat and they keep the rhymes going. They just sound really happy together, and it’s quite nice.

I’d say you’ll never find a less serious villain song but I think I Really Don’t Hate Christmas wins that award.

It’s one of those songs that is just really upbeat in spite of itself. I suppose the only disadvantage is that with its “conversational” nature, it doesn’t work quite as well as a song compared to other songs in the movie.

It’s great but others ended up sticking out more to most people. It was good enough to be high in Cliptastic 2 so there is that.

This song is another one that didn’t quite need to work hard due to having two Doof’s but it did need to work to make for a good song, since it needs to flow despite all the jokers. I’d say they did a splendid, as this one of the most fun songs in the movie.

It has two Doofs for the price of one, it has great flow, excellent humor and with its tune it becomes strangely uplifting despite being the villain song. Even if everything goes downhill for this duo. At least Doof-2 has Choo Choo and Ch-…actually we’ll go into that later, hint hint.

It has twice the evil and with all of those qualities, it’s twice the fun. …I would certaintly watch Double Doofenshmirtz, by the way. Almost as much as I would watch Doof 101.

34. Interface [Love at First Byte]

(Written by Jennifer L Hughes, Robert F Hughes, JG Orrantia, Sue Perrotto, and Eddie Pittman)

Remember how I said that Norm has been kicking it up a notch in the musical department? Yeah, here’s another great example.

I just can’t get over how Norm is grown. From a simple joke to singing three memorable tunes. He had a sad rap song about wanting to be a real song, a cheerful song about killing everyone and now…a love song.

Yep, in this episode he meets a female robot named Chloe and they shake their shiny metal asses on the dance floor. Of course, it’s glorious. Like A Real Boy, this is an unusual song for Norm to sing. It’s a hip hope tune this time with a dance twist and some Auto tune. Well, mostly on Chloe. It’s weird but it naturally ends up working.

While Norm’s previous hits were more character driven, this one is just about him and Chloe wanting to…Interface. Insert Sex Joke here. But despite A Real Boy being a better song, I kind of dig this one more. I dig the unique beat on this one. There’s a decent amount of build before the song even starts that works pretty well.

I don’t know how to describe it, but the tune is very interesting and simple. This is one driven by the singing and lyrics but the beat helps too. The visuals also has some trippy lights going on which helps set the mood as well.

But the real highlight is how the two sing together. This is another well done duet. Norm has a more natural sounding voice while Chloe is Autotuned which makes since she is more uh…high tech, so to speak.

It actually works since it make sense for a Robot to have Autotune. And it still sounds good. Norm is a great as ever. John Viener does a good job doing the whole Robot thing without sounding boring or bland. That extends to his singing, which has been solid in all 3 of his solos.

As expected, they each get a good verse before finally singing together. I really like how Norm’s first verse is played alongside a new verse from Chloe. It just works really well.

As far as flow goes, the lyrics have a lot of tech jargin and they juggle that pretty well. It’s another weird one to sing but it’s much easier than something like Extraordinary.

I sense a change in my info stream,
From renovated positronic sequencing.
You used to have such an 8-bit feel,
With your screw-on head, and your squirrel wheel.
Now I’m forced to reevaluate,
My old motherboard and my data rates.
We move our chassis to a higher place,
As we meet on the floor, and we interface.

…Move our chassis…okay moving on.

It’s basically a complicated way of saying the following: I thought you sucked, but your kind of hot, so let’s do it.

Pretty much.

The song creates a unique atmosphere with each aspect of it. I’d describe it as steamy but that would be gross. I’m not sure what the word for it is, but it’s very interesting. It makes for a pretty fun aside, alongside some of the creative lyrics and solid flow.

Oh, and if you’re wondering, Norm gets the girl but it turns out she was made by Rodney and after that Doof and Rodney forbid the two from hanging out. ..And it was never mentioned again.

Yeah, guess it makes this episode pointless but I suppose we have enough Romeo and Juliet Romances in the whole with the whole Monty thing.

While this ordeal was never mentioned again, it will never be forgotten thanks to this song. It’s a unique showing how awesome norm is, do a unique tune, creative lyrics and some solid singing.

It’s pretty fun song and one I can see people dancing to. If you’re dumb enough to dance to P&F songs anyway.

Interface: Robot Sex has never been this much fun. ….That didn’t come out right.

33. Giant 3D Scrapbook [Cheers for Fears]

(Written by Susan Wright, John Mathot, Martin Olson, and Dan Povenmire)

Whenever Love Handel appears in an episode, you can always expect some quality music. From their lovely hit that made them famous to their song about a bathing suit, I can why they were a one hit wonder in universe.

And here comes another great song of theirs. In this episode, Candace has the boys make a giant 3D scrapbook for Jeremy’s birthday and they get Love Handel to do a song about it.

This one is a bit hard to explain since it’s one of those “Naturally entertaining ones” so I can’t exactly analyze each element. It has just a subject matter that lends itself to a good song.

In this case the subject matter is Candace and Jeremy’s relationship. The visuals and lyrics about Jeremy and the various things Candace likes about her. The tune and singing just kind of carry everything else.

So yeah this one will be even shorter than usual.

My only negative about this one is that the lyrics only mention two specific episodes when it comes to their relationship. And they are Jeremy’s uncle’s Sub (Journey the Center of Candace) and his sandal commercial (Let’s take a quiz). I think they could have packed in more callbacks.

Thankfully the visuals show more callbacks such as the car wash (At the Car Wash) and their date in the backyard. (Chez Platypus). The visuals are pretty creative as it shows off the scrapbook itself. It’s definitely an impressive invention on the boy’s part.

The tune itself is a pretty rocking one that is really catchy. It carries the song as much as the subject matter does. It’s also another song that flows pretty well as it goes from each notable event and builds to the chorus. It definitely makes the song even better.

As far as the singing goes, you can’t go wrong with Love Handel and while it’s not as notable as some of their other hits, it’s still pretty solid.
I mentioned the lyrics already and despite my issue they mention enough creative things to make them work. It really makes you think about how their relationship has grown. Especially this part:

I know that I can be high-strung Enough to make a lot of boyfriends flee, But you’re still here with me now

That part just makes the whole song. It puts everything in perspective. I have a spiel about the whole Candermy thing but I’ll save it for some other time. I’ll say that I like it.

I think this may be one of the sweetest songs in the show, despite it not being a “Sad” one like Little Brothers. It’s made even better by being catchy and fun. Sometimes you need a really unique sound or anything like that.

Sometimes you just need a good concept, such as a relationship and get a lot of lyrical gold out of it. Having a band known for catchy tunes on board is just the icing on a sweet cake.

This gets a reprise later in the episode after the 3D scrapbook is replaced with a regular sized scrapbook. It’s cute but of course it has nothing on this tune.

It perfectly represents its subject matter and it makes for a very sweet retrospective on the whole Candace and Jeremy thing. This song is pretty much an example of why I like it in the first place.

Having some decent lyrics and a catchy tune just makes it even better. While it make not quite have what some other songs have (at least in the vocal department) it’s still a pretty nice song that made for a nice highlight of this episode.

…Yeah I said it was going to be short.

32. In The Empire [Phineas and Ferb Star Wars]

(Written by Dan Povenmire, Swampy Marsh, Martin Olson, and Wayne Brady) (Wait, what?)

Now we have another song from a special. I actually have a song from each Special on here, both old ones and newer ones…except Night of the Living Pharmacists. Good episode but weak soundtrack.

Anyway, P&F Specials tend to have good songs, but when you’re dealing with a movie with music by one of the greatest composers ever, you have to try even harder to create a good soundtrack. Needless to say, they did it perfectly and this song is a perfect example of that.

Candace, Buford, and Baljeet are stormtroopers and Candace wants to see action but they are stuck on Sock duty. They ask Candace why she joined the Empire and of course she sings about it.

Remember what I said about Candace songs? Yeah, combine Star Wars with that and you get a great song. The Star Wars humor helped make this special work, and that extends to the songs.

This is my favorite in that regard. The concept of Candace as a Storm trooper is brilliant, but here’s a whole song that serves as an advertisement for the empire. That’s just amazing on its own.

The most notable aspect of the Star Wars songs as that they were recorded with live horns and that made them sound even better than the usual P&F songs. I feel this one used that the best.

I just love the song starts with Candace just busting into song about how she hates those darn Rebels. Even before the song starts we get a nice beat, at least in the Soundtrack version. I think this has one of my favorite openings to a song, though I can’t exactly say why that is.

The tune itself is a pretty catchy one and the live horns thing that makes it sound even better. Oh, and the singing is great but I don’t need to say that at this point. She certainly sounds passionate, especially with the random rant in the middle.

Though honestly, that rant kind of throws off the flow of the song. If it was gone, I think this song would be higher. …Wait that was the part Wayne Brady wrote? Never mind, it’s the best part.

This is another song where the lyrics stand out. They really make the empire sound good despite it being…you know, evil. I also love the first part where Candace describe herself:

Ever since I was young,
You know, I hated dissention.
Among my peer group,
It caused a whole lot of tension.
When the other kids were slouching,
I would stand at attention.
And I’ve always looked so good in white.

But this is my absolute favorite part:


You can see exotic worlds across the galaxy,
In the Empire…In the Empire…
You can be all that they want you to be,
You get a 401(k) and your meals are free

“You can be all that they want you to be” just sums it all up. For the most part, the lyrics flow with the tune perfectly, especially in the first verse. I kind of wished there were other verses as fast as that one.

But the rest of is still good. The chorus is really memorable and of course, my favorite line appears in this section. At one point they go into that military march “(I don’t know what I’ve been told”) which kind of throws off the flow but it fits in its own way.

I think other songs handle going back to the chorus better than this one but it’s fine. This is the kind of situation where I consider it very good but minor tweeks but still make it better. I think that’s why people prefer some other songs from the special.

But this one has some of the best laughs in the thing (though the Aldreen joke in Sith-inator cracks me up the most) and the best parts are awesome. The visuals also provide good humor, such as one of the exotic locations being Burbank. Heh.

The use of live horns helps this one the most since it feels a lot bigger with them then the other ones in the special that used it. Although the other 2 notable good ones do not use them as much so ah well.

The tune is just so cool sounding and quite memorable. It’s helped by some creative lyrics and the usual strong singing on Candace’s part. It’s got a lot going for, thanks to combining the strengths of Danny Jacob and the elements of a cinematic classic.

With a great tune, creative lyrics, and the usual stuff you expect, you get a really fun song that defines Rooting for the empire. It’s awesome and it’s one of the highlights of the special.

Besides the obligatory Jar Jar joke, of course.

31. No Momo [Terrifying Ti State Trilogy of Terror]

(Written by Dan Povenmire and Swampy Marsh)

This show tends to be really good at creating atmosphere with its songs, so naturally they’ve tried to scare us a few times. Of all of those songs, this one has to be my favorite. Or at least, it creates a creepy mood the best.

In this segment of the Discount Treehouse of horrors, Candace’s Ducky Momo doll comes to life and like all living dolls, it stalks here. This song plays.

As I said a second ago, this one’s strongest point is the atmpshere. The beat, singing, and lyrics do an excellent job capturing the tone, and they really make you feel like this is a scary situation.

It’s just a Duck stalking someone but they try to make it as creepy as possible, while still being mostly funny. It’s basically about how Ducky momo is stalking you and they really capture that feeling.

The beat is another really memorable one that’s both creepy and kind of rocking. Like I said, it helps with the mood and it’s pretty catchy. It builds pretty well and they fit in some killer background singers doing a creepy version of the Ducky momo theme, which just adds to everything.
And of course we can’t forget the lyrics:

Might as well say, “Hello”. You can sense that he’s near.
But now you know why yellow is the color of fear.

They really tried hard to create a creepy atmosphere, and the lyrics are the biggest contributer to that. Of course it’s all played for the laughs and no one will be scared, but it still creates that mood perfectly.

The singer is also pretty good. It’s not the creepiest voice (he mostly does the rock-ish songs such as He’s a Bully) but he does a good job with the song. I like the background singers a bit more, since she sounds even creepier than he does, especially since she’s doing the Ducky Momo theme to brilliant effect.

This is one of those songs where every aspect works together to create a certain mood and this one does it really like. As much as I dig stuff like One Good Scare, this one stood a bit more and feels more complete.

It’s such a creepy and catchy tune and it stands out pretty well. Really, that’s all you could say about it. It’s supposed to a fun creepy tune and it is. It’s got fun lyrics, a memorable beat and some nice atmosphere.

….Yeah, it’s not the most ambitious song ever but it’s still a really good one that does its job very well.

The song says No Momo but with a song this goes, I say mo momo! …Sorry.

With that, we come to the end of part 1. 10 down, 30 to go! …Yay. Join me next time for more wonderful tunes as we get even closer to the really great ones.

See ya.

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Barbie Month: The Nutcracker

Will this be a kick in the nuts?

Will this be a kick in the nuts?

Hello, Spongey here.

After mostly finishing the Buddies and Tink movies, I’ve been looking for another Direct to Video franchise to review. However, I haven’t found any good ideas. The ones I came up with have too many entries for me to do them all. Though I may still cover some of those.

(Looking at you. Monster High)

And of course one obvious idea did pop up in my head: Barbie. Yeah. But then I stopped once I saw it had over THIRTY entries. No way I’m doing all of those. Besides, I bet most of them are the same and thus reviewing them would get boring.

But I did want to cover them in some fashion. So…I thought of just doing a few to get an idea of what they are like, without having to cover all of them. I still don’t know what I’m doing for my Tink replacement but this seemed like a good idea until I have one.

So….i regrettably welcome you to BARBIE MONTH!

I don’t really need to introduce Barbie but here’s the gist: Created in 1959, Barbie is pretty much the post child of girly dolls that all boys hated because boys hated girly things. I think we all get the concept.

Barbie is one of the biggest marketing machines ever and she has spawned tons of products and had at least 5000000 careers. That’s one fulfilling life, I have to say. So naturally, she has appeared on our screens, be it TV, games, and of course, film.

Which brings us to the ever infamous direct to video franchise. In 2001, they decided to make CGI Animated Barbie features, and as 2015 there have been at least 29 entries, with no sign of slowing down.

This franchise has gone through a few retools and this month we’re spotlighting 5 of these films to see if this series has any value in it at all. To start off, we’re going all the way to the beginning.

The original concept of the franchise was to put Barbie in classic stories, and for their first entry they picked The Nutcracker. I don’t need to explain The Nutcracker so we can skip that part.

Now, I bet you think this would make for sense to cover in December. Well, that’s true but Barbie has an official Christmas film so we’ll do THAT one come December. Since is the first movie I wanted to start with this one, so there.

The writers and directors have done little of note, so let’s move on a more interesting fact. Most of these films were made by Mainframe Entertainment, now known as Rainmaker. That’s right the same company who brought us the classic Reboot series and the not so classic Escape From planet Earth.

Considering their track record with films (Cough Scary Godmother) we shouldn’t anything amazing in the animation department, but maybe, just maybe this could be fine. …I’m an optimist, okay?

But whatever, let’s just dive in.

This, is Barbie in the Nutcracker

The movie opens at a Ballet Studio place as Barbie is teaching a young girl named Kelly some Ballet. Right off the bat, we have two noteworthy actors to mention. Barbie is voiced by Kelly Sherdian, who is the main VA for the character to this very day.

She was also the villain in the MLP Season 5 premiere. If you’ve seen it, you know why seeing her as Barbie as funny.

Speaking of MLP, Kelly is Diamond Tiara. …Um…okay then. Anyway, Kelly sucks but Barbie says she will get better. So naturally, she jumps into the classic story of the Nutcracker to get her spirits up.

So that’s our framing device…eh I can roll with it. Oh, and the animation is bad but I expected that.

So we start our real story with A girl named Clara who lives with Drosselmeyer, her stern grandfather, and her typical younger brother Tommy. She is visited by her nice Aunt, voiced by Kathleeen barr. Cuz…eh why not get Trixie in there while we’re at it.

She’s the cool adventure aunt that the grumpy Grandpa hates cuz she’s free spirited or whatever. She brings the kids some gifts and of course Clara gets a Nutcracker. Tommy and her end up fighting over it and it breaks.

Then it just kind of moves on to that night, after it shows that Tommy regrets his actions and Clara is cool with it. Huh.

By the way, Clara looks like an actual doll when she sleeps. If that’s what they were going for with the animation…mission accomplished.

That night, magical crap happens and The Nutcracker comes to life to fight some Foodfight rejects that the movie calls mice. Barbie, I mean Clara wakes up to see this and just assumes she is dreaming.

This is of course means the Mice King pops up and he is voiced by Tim Curry. I’m less shocked then I probably should be. Clara tries to stop Tim Curry but he uses magic to shrink her down to his size.

Despite this, Tim Curry still gets his ass beat and he runs away. Guess he can’t use magic to make himself bigger so he can just kill everyone.

Anyway, Clara wants to reverse the spell but only the Sugarplum Fairy can do so. Then an owl shows up and says the Sugarplam princess can be found on an island across the sea of storms. She also gives Barbie a magic locket that will teleport her him once she finishes her quest.

Um…thanks random owl.

With that, she’s on the epic quest to turn back to normal. Well…I’ve seen worse plots, I suppose.

They go through a mouse hole that takes them through a time warp thing and drops them into some snow land. They trek on and Tim Curry already finds out about their epic quest. Also, only Tim Curry can make the word Nutcracker sound badass. Our heroes stumble the Gingerbeard village which is having some problems.

Some children inform them that the true heir the throne, Prince Eric, is to blame. He was kind of a dick, so someone put someone else in charge until Eric proved himself worthy. That someone else is Tim Curry.

You see how that turned out. Oh, and the little girl here is voiced by Britt McKillip, who was 10 at the time but grew up to voice Princess Cadence. Is this attack of the Pony actors or something?

The Mouse King’s henchmen spot them.

“Come on, into the woods”

…Too easy.

They bump into some people doesn’t trust them at the moment. They explain their problem but they get angry once Eric is mentioned. Hey, he’s not the one who put a mouse in charge.

They don’t buy into the Sugarplum Princess thing despite being ruled by a mouse. Eventually they figure eh, why not, and join them to find the princess. I’m getting some legends of oz flashbacks with this set up..

Oh, and The Nutcracker is Eric. Just going to call it now since they make it painfully obvious. After another delicious scene with Tim Curry, Barbie figures out…what I just guessed. Wow, she’s good.

Eric never told anyone since…well they aren’t fans of him as you can tell. Then we just cut to the next day as our heroes continue on their EPIC quest to find a princess. After stuff happens, they make some boats to cross the sea but a badly animated rock monster pops up and crushes the boats.

Thankfully, some plot device fairies to pop up to freeze the lake so a horse can drive them across. Sure, why not.

They manage to get rid of the monster and eventually make it to the island. Well, that was a short quest. Only like…3 stops or so?

However, Tim Curry’s goons pop up and capture everyone but Clara. A plot device fairy helps Clara get to his castle to rescue them. If these fairies can do all that, you think one of them would know exactly where to find the princess.

She sneaks in and makes it to the dungeon where she saves the others. That was ….too easy. It’s like the writers didn’t care about suspense or being interesting at all.

They face Tim Curry and The Nutcracker ends up in an EPIC BATTLE. It’s at this point where you start to think about how Tim Curry is having too much fun in a movie like this. Everyone else is just …there but he’s having a ball.

Eventually, Barbie steps in and Tim Curry tries to make her even smaller, but Nutcracker blasts his powers back at him so he becomes small and then he’s defeated.

….Yeah, I expected a really lame climax. Just not one with Tim Curry, who deserves way better.

Having defeated the Mouse King, Nutcracker gets a kiss and turns back into Prince Eric. Then Clara has her own change..

“You’re the Sugar plum princess”

What a twist. One that makes no sense but ah well. Anyway, magic stuff restores the kingdom to its former glory and everyone is ready to accept Eric as their lord and savior.

Then everyone has a dance party set to the music you were probably expecting. It’s padding but it’s at least pretty padding. After that, Clara decides she’s gonna stay here since she’s a princess and also she loves Eric. Yeah, weak romance was weak.

Well, looks we’re-

“I absolutely despise Happy Endings!”

Tim Curry is back….fine. He takes her locket but then he is knocked down. Tim Curry is kind of lame sometimes.

Suddenly, Clara vanishes and soon wakes up at home with everything looking normal. Looks we’re doing the “it was a dream but it was also not” thing. Whatever.

Aunt Elizabeth walks in with a young man who looks a lot like Eric because I called it. He’s the son of a friend of hers and he will stay for dinner. God, we’re still not done?

He gives her the locket and they dance. I’d question the logic of this but we’re almost done. We then get more padding in the form of a dance and the story proper ends, bringing us back to Barbie and Diamond Tiara.

Kind of a weird story but who am I to question Barbie?

With that, Kelly is feeling better and they get back to practicing. Which means…more dancing. Three in a row, are you serious?!

And this how the movie decides to end. Lame but not unexpected. At least Diamond Tiara is happy, and that’s all that matters.

Final Thoughts:

Well that was…..boring. That’s the best way to sum this one ep. I expected this to be notably bad but instead it’s just….weak. Every aspect that fails is weak is a typical way. Not much for me to comment on.

It’s mostly harmless but also very forgettable. The story is by the books, cliché, and predictable. The pacing is rushed, the characters are one note, and the animation looks like something from a PS2 game. But these are all things I expected, and none of them are any worse than usual.

The animation isn’t even bad in an amazing way. It’s just…typically bad. Even this company has made worse looking movies.

The story does nothing too heinous in the grand scheme of things, and the characters are…bearable. The story is still weak and unengaging and the characters offering nothing interesting with only 2 really getting any depth. At least they have likable traits and Tim Curry is a lot of fun as usual.

The film is just a bore…for adults. For kids, it’s harmless and something they’ll enjoy. Hey, compared to other kids movies, it’s The Godfather. It’s just a very….meh movie. Nothing horrible, but nothing all that good either.

I didn’t get a ton of materiel for this one cuz it gave me little work with. I’m sure others may find it worse and have more to say but I was just empty. But the movie itself is at least not painfully…it’s just boring.

For kids, it’s okay. For anyone else…it’s boring. As as start to the Barbie franchise, it’s …un-Barbie like being about CLARA but it could have been worse.

…And I fear it will get worse as the month goes along. But this first film is….just meh. Better than I feared, but it could have at least been memorable.

Grade: C

Next time on Barbie Month, we jump ahead to a take on a less classic story that will hopefully be more memorable.

See ya.

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Zenon: The Zequel

Cetus lapetus, this zeequel has the worst subtitle ever!

Cetus lapetus, this zeequel has the worst subtitle ever!

Hello, Spongey here.

Well, we have a new DCOM coming out. Looks like I have to do another tie in. Since this one is Teen Beach 2, (which looks okay), I figured I’d do a sequel.

I only had two options and in the end I went with our old pal Zenon. I review Zenon Girl on the 21st Century a few months ago and I thought it was …okay. It was enjoyable but the script was pretty bear with not a ton of depth, and it had hilariously bad late 90’s future slang.

It’s one of the weaker Classic DCOM’s but I do actually like it. It was a big hit so naturally they made a sequel in 2001. There isn’t a lot to say since I haven’t heard much about this one.

The writer is the same and I covered him last time so we’ll skip to our new director. He did some other obscure DCOM’s…that’s it.

So will this one manage to be an improvement, or will it be disaster major? Let’s shut up and dive in.

This, is Zenon: The Zequel

Before we start, let me say this: That is the worst sequel subtitle ever. Yes, worse than Squeakel. I mean…Zequel? Seriously? At least Squeakel is a pun on a real world. What the hell is Zequel?

Whatever, hopefully the movie is better.

The movie opens with a narrator way too cool for this movie recapping the first movie.

“However, Zenon is also 15 years old, and everything in her Stellanarious life is about to change forever”

And his coolness drops once he spouts the slang. Great.

Anyway, we join Zenon one year after the first one as she is still spouting bad slang on the space station. Only this time Raven is now the friend from Color of Friendship, for some reason.

After a dumb scene with them playing around, Zenon tells the friend that she got dumped by Greg, that sort of love interests from the first one. I’d be mad if I cared to begin with.

“He dumped me. How is that possible?”

…Too easy.

Anyway, in that scene I skipped, Zenon did something that caused an accident so she is now banned from roaming the restricted areas. Good to see she learned nothing from the last movie.

She is forced to work in some lab as further punishment. Later, she sees a news report saying the lead singer of Prota Zoa, that boy band from the first one, has kind of vanished. There are a lot of jokes I can make here…

Later still, we find out some military guys are coming to take charge following the whole mess from the first film. So Zenon is being reckless and must learn respaonilty and people are coming to the station and there’s a good chance it could be shut down.

….Yeah, that sounds like new concepts to this franchise.

General Hammond arrives and asks to speak to Zenon. And right away I can tell he’s going to be the best part of the movie. Yeah, it’s that kind of performance. Her mission is to be responsible for his daughter, who is the Alpha bitch form the first movie.

Wah wah.

She acts in the way you expect and I already enjoy her more than in the first one. She threatens to make Daddy reassign Zenon is she screws up.

We get a montage of Margie being a bitch and we cut to Zenon in that lab which is basically a place that finds and intercepts alien messages.

It’s been dead air for a while but naturally it’s when Zenon starts working there that it starts to get something.

Zenon thinks it’s an alien but of course people think it’s just nothing. Even the crazy guy who suggested the concept in the first place. And now people refuse to believe Zenon about something. This is sequel is full of fresh ideas!

Later, Zenon does stuff and we get another glimpse at future tech that is somehow less impressive than modern tech. 2015 ftw. Also, apparently in the future there are two movies in a franchise called Romeo and Juliet on mars.

Somehow, they makes more sense than making them seals.

After that, she returns to work at that lab and hears more weird alien noises. Of course no one believes her once again. So in other words, the same thing happened twice in a row.

More accidents happen on the ship and Zenon starts to get worried that they will end up crashing to Earth or something. The military guys force some changes to the point where the space station head guy has to move to a janitor’s closet.

Oh, and there’s a quick gag about the Stock Market Crash of 2006. Oh early 2000’s, you so silly.

Zenon receives mocking for the alien thing, which is just odd since aliens aren’t too odd in this future universe. Also, she bitches at the friend cuz …uh…reasons. She is hanging with Margie but not in a big way and Zenon was okay earlier and this is the only 2nd time they were seen together.

They argue over stupid reasons and eventually get angry and leave. You know, Zenon has brought up the alien thing like twice and only got crazy over it cuz people refused to believe her. And why is she so into it anyway? She heard one noise and suddenly she buys into aliens?

….Yeesh, I’m ranting a lot and we’re too far in. Too be fair, the sad scenes work better here than before.

As if on cue, the alien noise appears on an early 2000’s future version of on ipad. It suddenly hits her that the noise is just like that boy band song that is still stuck in my head.

“The aliens want to meet Prota Zoa!”

Playing a song means they want to meet them? Well, it would explain that guy vanishing. Also, aliens are into boy bands. Who knew? But let’s put that on hold, because it looks like the friend is being sent to Earth.

Looks like their silly fight was pointless. They share a nice moment and the friend is shipped off the next morning. So now someone is being sent to Earth against their will. …More original ideas.

But of course, Zenon sneaks into one of the crates on the ship and ends up following the friend to Earth. This will end well. As it turns out, Margie had the same idea and is now here for some reason.

They visit Zenon’s Aunt person and explain the alien thing.

“Of course it’s aliens”

So now their mission is to find the boy band and the aliens who took him. This is the most epic plot ever. Zenon thinks studying their lyrics is a way to figure this out. They look at some of the stuff he says a lot and heard towards the home of some woman named Linda Nova.

Oh, and while that is going on, we find out Margie sent a message to her Dad saying that Zenon captured her and basically forced her to go to Earth.

Wow, fuck you.

Our heroes arrive at their destination and it turns out Proto Zoa is there. Apparently he’s been hiding out here on purpose just to get away from it all. Well that’s anti climatic. Anyway, Zenon tells him about the alien thing and he’s not too keen on it at first.

Then Zenon tells him he’ll be famous for being the first rock star to meet aliens. He’s on board now.

Now they gotta figure out how and where to meet these guys. They are able to use techno babble to get an idea where they are but now they gotta get there. They figure they shall just call Margie’s Dad, set the record straight, and ask for a shuttle back home.

Cuz he’s be totally up for it after the crap you pulled.

It turns out he’s busy with a meeting and they find out that he plans to decommission the space station after the damage the bad guy from the 1st movie did to it. …Okay now the plot is a bit more interesting.

The aliens apparently sent Zenon a map and she, with the help of a tech guy, is able to decipher it and figure out where to go. And on top of all that, Zenon and Margie finally talk things out and find out why they hate each other so much.

It’s the typical thing where the Alpha bitch is the way she is due to a not so good family situation. She’s jealous of Zenon and all that good stuff. Zenon even vents about how she’s gotten everyone so worried and what may happen if the alien stuff is crappy.

Typical it may be, but this is the most depth we’ve seen from this franchise so far. So it’s pretty nice and it’s good to see Zenon opening up a bit.
After that, Zenon’s Aunt tells the Head guy about the military guy’s plans and he goes to talk to him…about getting a shuttle to meet his “girlfriend’. Smooth. He’s cool with it.

Long story short, Zenon’s Mom ends up having to help pilot the shuttle that will take them to the alien. Mostly cuz Plank got caught by Hammond and blah blah. Mom arrives in a ship and boom, they are off.

We then get a nice moment as Mom thanks Zenon for forcing her to get out of her shell and start flying again. It’s a sweet bit of substance, which again, this franchise needed.

But whoops, they are out of fuel so they are lost in space. And they will crash into a moon. Yikes, now this is the kind of stakes I wanted in the first one!

Then the aliens finally show up. …There goes the stakes. Also, way to wait 74 minutes to show up.

An alien saves them and pops up on the ship. As it turns out the alien is a uh….weird hard to describe being. Think of a trippy hologram that can’t really talk. It looks cool but I think they were just too lazy to pay any actual actors to put on bad Halloween costumes.

They somehow explain that they have been lost in space for 3 years and need working instruments to find their way back home. Yep, this whole time they were just asking for help. You think such intelligent beings could figure out an easier way to do it but ah well.

I mean, why use a boy band song? That part I don’t get.

They give our heroes a ride home but despite the amazing thing that just happened, Hammond is still pretty angry. Yeah, the aliens just kind of left, but Wikipedia says they show up in a bit so I’ll wait.

Margie defends Zenon’s actions as “brave”, and Hammond asks for proof. He saw the aliens bring them home. I think that’s all the proof you need.

As if on cue, the Aliens pop up to fix the space station. I wish all aliens were that nice. Then everything is just…fine as we cut to Prota Zoa having a celebrations concert. Also, the aliens simply picked the up concert transmission from the first movie and used it to contact Zenon. I’ll let Val Kilmer explain my reaction to that:

“It just raises too many questions”

By the way, in the end it looks like the aliens were just a plot device to fix the station so Hammond would leave them alone.

And then it turns out this is the wedding of Zenon’s Aunt and Plank. …Because they had a romance, I think?

Also, Margie and Zenon are totes besties now, so that’s cool.

If you guess the movie pretty much ends here after a little ditty from Proto then boom, you get how DCOM’s work at this point. Well, at least both movies have weak abrupt endings. Actually this one might be even weaker since the main conflict with Hammond just kind of stopped.

Also, this ended with a celebration backed up by Prota Zoa. …Yeah, I think at this point you get one complaint I have but let’s wrap this up.

Final Thoughts:

Despite my pretty heavy snark, I feel the same way about this movie that I do the first one: Script Wise it’s kind of weak but overall it’s enjoyable in how cheesy it is. Though I will admit, part of me kind of liked this one a bit more despite its flaws.

Let’s go over the obvious problem: It’s a bit of a rehash in some places. I mean, bad guys want to destroy the station, people won’t believe Zenon about something, someone is sent to Earth against their will, and it ends with a dance party.

Now, this isn’t nearly bad as some other sequels out there but it’s still here. These elements make the film less memorable4 than it should be, which is sad since we have a few good ideas in here.

Also, the main conflict ends up being weakly resolved, and even the alien’s end up weak since they don’t talk and just end up being a plot device. I also feel like the script is all over the place some of these elements.

However, there is also better character development in this one…sort of. I feel that Zenon learned more in the first but we had more development scenes here. Stuff like Margie and the intense bits near the end make this one a bit more interesting in some places.

I also got used to the slang so it’s not as bad.

I feel they tried a bit more with this one and there were some enjoyable parts. Compared to the first one, it’s about the same. It had more development moments and I feel they tried harder, but this one also had a weaker structure and an even weaker ending.

But at the same, I did like the plot more. Zenon 1 had that Johnny Tsaummi stuff and a cliché villain, while this had a slightly more interesting villain and the alien stuff. It may not have worked out the best but it still okay.

So they are about equal. I find both enjoyable for how dumb they are, and I kind of got more enjoyment out of this one. It was a bit disappointing, since I was expecting something GOOD, but ah well.

Overall, it’s got problems but it has nice moments and it’s fun for being so cheesy. I hope the 3rd one is the good one, the one they’ve been really putting effort into. Though I’m also a bit scared, cuz that’s one that even Zenon fans don’t like. Ouch.

But until then we have 2 okay movies to enjoy.

Grade: B-

Well, next month July Which means another dumb theme month. It’s…

BARBIE MONTH!

I’m going to cry for a bit.

See ya.

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Planes: Fire & Rescue

Will this one crash and burn?

Will this one crash and burn?


Hello, Spongey here.

Well, you know the drill by now. There’s an important film coming out this week so I wanted to review something to celebrate. It’s a recent sequel to a movie I reviewed. You all get it at this point.

So let’s just skip the boring part. There was a Pixar movie called Cars, it was great but not their best. It got hate then it got an okay sequel that John Lasster made out of love that people hated.

Then they made a mediocre spin off movie at Disney Toon. Read my review to see Dusty faced the odds and no one gave a damn. It was bad but not totally horrible. It was however a pointless spinoff with wasted potential.

But it still made money so here’s a sequel. Despite them planning it before the first one came out, I was willingly to give it a shot. The reviews said it was better but still weak. That’s what I expected.

Today, we see if it’s any good, since the real Pixar has a new movie coming out, that looks awesome by the way.

The directed is now the guy behind Secret of the wings, and he’s also a writer along with the guy from the last one. So this can go either way.
Let’s dive in and see if this improves from its lackluster predecessor. …Yeah, rushed intro is rushed.

This, is Planes: & and Rescue

So let’s see what the first visual the film throws at us will be.

Dud Episode Ruler

…Well, now I feel like a jerk.

The movie actually opens with Dust winning an important race, and an interviewer pretty much lazily recaps the first movie. And one of his friends says that he has gas.

Best foot forward.

After more racing, Dusty returns to his home of Propwash Junction to exchange more bad jokes with his friends. But during a practice run, he has some trouble with his engine.

He finds out that his engine’s gearbox is on the frits, and he also says this:

“I kicked astin martin out there”

You know-for kids.

To make things worse, his specific gearbox is out of production. Now he has to slow down even though he needs that speed to race.

“…I can’t race anymore”

Whoa, he faces a somewhat relatable and mature situation? This is an improvement already!

After that, he goes to a local…well I guess bar is the right word, where we get more bad jokes:

“You just fall out of a b-17? Cuz you’re the bomb!”

“Ugh, pick up trucks”

Dusty gets all moody and decides to go on a flight to test his limits. It ends as well as you would expect.

His crash causes a fire which they put out. But after a lot of trouble. Some inspector catches wind of this and shows up the next morning. Because of this, they threaten to shut down the place unless they get proper equipment and stuff. Even the obligatory John Ratzenberger cameo is shocked!

They need an extra firefighter to help out and while having a kind of nice moment with the currently worn out fire engine in town, Dusty gets the idea to become a fireighter himself, to make up for the fact that he can’t race.

Okay, we’re not getting off to a bad start. Good set up, potential character depth, and a nice excuse to shoehorn in fire safety. Yeah, I know it’ll end up bad due to my luck but at least there’s a good idea here this time.

The next morning, Dusty heads off to go be a firefighter. Yeah, kind of rushed a start but they spent enough time on okay set up this time. Besides, he still needs to actually train and since we are now 17 minutes in, that means we get real training and a proper plot structure!

Dusty arrives at Piston Peak National Park and meets our wacky group of new characters. He even has a stalker fan by the name of Dipper. …She’s creepy.

Also, one of the other characters is a terrible Indian stereotype. Joy.

Conviently they hear of a wild fire so they all head out so we can see them in action. After that bit, Dusty meets up with a guy voiced by Curtis Armstrong (insert Dan Vs joke here) and meets a head guy who isn’t happy with this recrecuit. Dusty casually mentions that he raced around the world.

“The world wasn’t on fire though, was it?

….No.

Next we get a training scene that lacks awesome training montage music. After that Dusty calls his friends who reveal that they found a gearbox for Dusty and they will ship it out tonight. But Dusty is gonna stay anyway cuz he made best friends, right?

…Hey wait a second…staying in a place you didn’t want to be, but will stay due to making friends even though you now have a way out….this doesn’t sound like Cars 1 at all!

So do we have an obvious villain yet? Well, now we do cuz the Park Superintendent shows up.

“He waxes himself. Daily”

He invites Dusty to a party at some lodge. Said lodge hogs the park;s budget and is not in the best shape. So yeah, obvious villain.
That night, Dusty hangs out with his new buddies to do stuff, including watching a movie. Which film?

mlp_season_3_scorecard_by_spongey444-d8mcdq2

All I am thinking is that…between the gag in Mission Marvel, the Guardians of the Gaaxy stinger, and this…I think Disney really wants to reboot Howard the Duck.

…Okay then.

As it turns out, the tape is an old TV show called…chops.

Ugh. On the bright side, they capture the feel of these type of shows pretty well. See, the head guy used to be in this show as the star.

Despite being a big star, they don’t know why he’s here as a fire guy. Gee, I wonder if something tragic happened. After that we get another fire emergency so Dusty can look dumb again.

The fire is a bit too much for them which leads to a pretty decent scene, I must say. It has all the intensity you need for this kind of scene and Dusty even manages to help out pretty well. And then we just kind of move on to that lodge party thing.
“Hey, Boat Remolds”

.,..

“Loved you in best little boathouse in Texas”

I give up.

Everything that scene, Dusty’s friends call in and tell him that the gearbox they got was the wrong one. His gearbox is nowhere to be found. It would have been more powerful to have him get the thing only to choose to be a fire guy…but ah well.

Speaking of fire, one breaks up near the lodge which leads to more intensity. Dusty screws up and he is told to go back but he keeps going anyway and then gets in danger. Serves you right.

He is saved but there is still the fire to take care of. But then Dusty wants to go forward even though he is told to go back. …Didn’t this JUST happen? This time, Blade gets super mad and tells him to just go home.

Dusty breaks off the real reason he isn’t pushing himself. You know, the gearbox thing. After a rousing speech, Dusty does what he said and we cut to the Super Intendant as Patrick Warbuton tells him to evacuate. He refuses just as the fire gets bigger.

The fire is taken care of but Blade gets in trouble as they fly out and we get more intense stuff. A bit too much, really. Is this like the 3rd danger scene in a row?

They save him but they fear that he may not be in the best shape. Then we get his tragic backstory. On day on the set of that show, one of his buddies died and cuz he blamed himself, he came here to be a real hero.

Normally, I’d praise the film for this sort of dark scene…if they didn’t do the EXACT same thing in the first movie. Think about it: Awesome but grumpy leader guy was awesome in the day until his buddy died and he blamed himself. It’s the same!

The difference is that he just pretended to be a hero on TV and now he’s one for real. That’s kind of cool but it’s so rushed and such a blatant rehash that it doesn’t work as well as it should.

Seriously, were they that starved for ideas?

The evil Super Intendant guy turns on some big sprinkler things just as the fire gets even worse. Now all of our heroes must spring into action. They are able to save people but they hear of two tourists from earlier who are in danger and Dusty is the only person who can save them.

I gotta say, they really put a lot of effort into this set piece. It’s pretty intense and not too bad.

He’s able to save them but he pushes himself too hard and crashes. They are able to save him and they fix him up the next morning (after the fire is finally taken care of).

“Dipper was by your side the whole way”

“I like watching you sleep”

After that, they inform us that the Super Intendant guy was fired and they got a new guy. …Wow, a villain defeat so lame it wasn’t even on screen.
But as you might expect, Dusty’s Gearbox is…fixed! Yeah, so much for “no one has one”. Yay, suspense!

With that, Dusty is an official Fire Fighter and his hometown is back open. Hey, that stuff I predicted earlier didn’t happen. This as much of a rehash as I thought.

So they have their epic airshow, Dusty has new friends, and he can race again and he’s a firefight. Happy ending, roll credits!

Yeah, another rushed ending but the real issue is the run time: 72 minutes. That’s fine for a Direct to video movie but this was in theaters. At least the first one was decently long. This was…too short. Mercifully so, of course.

Don’t worry, there’s no warning about another movie this time. Thank god, maybe they’ll leave this franchise to die this time.

Final Thoughts:

2014 was the year of sequels that shockingly surpassed or meet the standards of the first film. Rainbow Rocks, anyone? This…is an example of that, in that it’s…better. But on its own its….Average.

It’s got some things going for it. For one, I really have to applaud them for basically doing this as a tribute to fire fighters, and it seems like their heart was in the right place. The animation is a lot better with some excellent firefighting scenes.

The voice acting is solid and a few characters were kind of amusing, Curtis Armstrong’s especially. They also leave the annoying side characters at home and get rid of the stereotypes…most of them.

There are less bad jokes this time, even if we still have a couple. Seriously, Boat Renolds?

However, it’s still not exactly good. The main problem is how…generic is. The story is nothing new or special. Barely anything happens when you get down to it and it shamelessly recycles plot elements from both Cars and Planes. Also, none of the characters have a lot of depth.

Dusty has a pretty decent issue going on but by the end he’s as dull as ever. The new friends are just one note jokes (especially Dipper) and the villain guy is barely a villain.

Also the old head guy is just there to recycle Skipper from the first movie. He doesn’t’ even do anything after they establish his backstory.

But on the bright side, no one is hate able and some are even charming.

Despite a promise concept, it just does everything in a generic manner. It’s pretty…plane.

…I’m so sorry.

However, it’s at least watchable. It feels like they tried to do something great with this one. It has a few decent scenes and a good concept. They tried with this one, while the first one felt like a cheap cash in. This one is too but at least they tried with it.

It’s….meh. It tries and it has its moments but it’s just a forgettable sequel that did not need to exist. Sorry, but the Cars films are more my style. Though I’m shocked this one was better instead of worse..

Seriously, BOAT RENOLDS?!


Grade: C+

Next time, it’s another Disney Sequel, and hopefully this one will be disaster minor.

See ya.

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Dear Dumb Diary

Dear Diary, today I watched a movie where meatloaf sings. I will never be the same.

Dear Diary, today I watched a movie where meatloaf sings. I will never be the same.


Dear Dumb Diary is property of Walden Media.

Hello, Spongey here.

I didn’t find the movie I wanted to cover, so once again I picked a random thing off Netflix. It doesn’t have a Wikipedia page so you know it’s good!

I don’t have a whole to set up due to the fact that no one knows anything about this film. Which is shocking because it is based on a “popular” children’s book series. I knew it existed, I just didn’t care about reading it.

Wikipedia says it a series of children’s novels by Jim Benton. Each book is written in the first person view of a middle school girl named Jamie Kelly. My mind thought of a Junie B Jones meets wimpy Kid kind of thing.

Since it is popular, it naturally warranted a movie. But it must not be that popular, because it got a low budget thing that premiered on the Hallmark channel and went straight to Netflix.

Ouch.

Because of this, I can’t much info on it. It’s written and directed by people who have done nothing, and I’ve never heard of any of the actors. So I’m more or less going into this blind, as I have little knowledge of the books.

It’s bound to turn out better than Judy Moody at any rate.

So let’s see if someone can get into this, if it’s any good, or if this a case of an adaptation that pleases no one.

This, is Dear Dumb Diary

The movie wastes no time as it starts with our main character, Jamie Kelly, introducing herself in front of a green screen.

“Bad joke, forget I ever said that”

She goes to tell us that she is an artist and her best friend is Isabella.

“I need to figure out the meaning of life”

When you think you’ve got a problem, And your life is full of doubt, Remember in the scheme of things, our life just doesn’t count…

“Until then, my best friend is my diary. My dear, dumb diary”

…Nah.

We then get the real opening sequence, as we see her getting ready as she tells us not to read her diary and whatnot.

…Then she sings about it. What. This is basically used to tell us info we could have found out in a better way, such as that Isabella is weird and Jamie hates the alpha bitch.

Also, this thing has like a million executive producers.

After the song, she goes to school where we are introduced the other characters in the proper way, such as her crush Hudson. We also introduced to the Alpha Bitch again which makes that song pointless.

Speaking of which, we GET another one! Yeah, in class she starts thinking about how average looking people are down in the dumps and she thinks they should band together. Then she sings about it!

I was not informed this would be a musical. Both songs are kind of catchy I guess but…still. It’s in an imagine spot which makes me think she does this often. It’s weird.

We cut to that night at home, as we get some “lol moms can’t cook” jokes. Yeah, stop that it’s not funny anymore.

“School is supposing to prepare you for real life which also really su-“

…You cut off sucks? Really?

After more weird imagine spots, we cut to the next day as the students are being informed that certain things are being cut to budget cuts. And of course, this does include the art program.

Yay, our first big cliché!

The school is entering some Jump-a-thon thing and the winner gets a lot of money. Then a random cheerleader pops up

“Come on everybody, we can do it. Cuz we’re all in this together!”

EVERYONE: Shut it, cupcake!


Okay, this movie gets….55555555 points.

Jamie talks to the assistant principal about all this, and he just suggest signing up for the jump thing. So did they cut art as part of an evil plan to get people to join the jump thing so they can win money?

Somehow, this turns into him tell Jamie that Isabella is a bad influence. But this just tells Jamie that everyone’s deep secrets are kept in a folder, and this gives her an awful idea. A wonderful awful idea…

Later, Jamie is visited by her Aunt Carol who is apparently pretty and wonderful. Now I’m getting more Judy Moody flashbacks. After they hang out a bit, we go back to school for some “lol school food sucks” jokes.

Hudson pops up and says Jamie would do well in the Jump-a-Thon which Jamie takes pretty well.

“Hudson basically declared his undying love for me!”

So she decides to sign up so she can show up the Alpha Bitch and stick up for average people everywhere.

Then…another song. Okay, for a movie that liked slamming High School Musical, it certainly wants to be it really badly!

Seriously, this is our 3rd song and we’re only 25 minutes in. No one told me this would be a musical. I haven’t read the books but I can tell you they didn’t have random songs! The first one was the one to have any kind of impact on the plot.

Anyway, Carol gets an office job at school and they drop that to move on to the next scene. Jamie and Isabella must go to people and raise money for the Jump thing. This old lady here isn’t helpful as she only gives them clothes.

“Granny panties!”

You cut off sucks but you say panties? They even said “Freaking” during the last song. They get what they want from the next lady but Isabella has her give up a few extra bucks for osme other charity Jamie has never heard of. Hmm..

We get a montage of them getting their fundraising money, as well as the extra cash. After that, it’s back to the whole Alpha Bitch Record File thing they brought up earlier. She goes to the Assistant Principal’s office and bumps into him.

He says he’s proud of her for that extra charity and says he feels bad for warning her about Isabella. Yeah, you’re making the “twist” with this plot line a bit obvious.

Later at home, she finds that the dog has marked his territory on her clothes. …Ew. It’s mostly an excuse for her to sleep on the couch so she can overhear Carol talking about a mystery date.

Speaking of romance, the next day during class, Jamie starts daydreaming about Hudson. This daydream leads to…ANOTHER FREAKING SONG?!

Okay, what is up with these musical numbers?! This isn’t even a musical because none of these songs are actually happening. They’re just drive by imagine spots!

If there’s one more random song, I swear…

Later, Jamie is told that the mayor wishes to interview her and Isabella about this whole charity thing. You think the town government would do a bit of checking before they did something like this.

Jamie is happy that she’s getting recognized and starts imaging again, then Carol shows up and starts dancing then…

“Isn’t this gonna be a musical number?”

“Budget cuts”

The next day, Jamie sees the lunclady acting loopy with carol and she tries to imagine what is wrong with her. Then….oh you gotta be fucking kidding me. ANOTHER ONE?! Does the lunch lady really need some random song about Meatloaf?!

Besides, there’s only one song about Meatloaf I like:

CandaceStacyandTinyCowboys

So during the so-

Dud Episode Ruler

WHAT THE HECK IS THAT THING?!

I just…what the hell just happened?! The other songs at least made some kind of sense, but this is just…why?! It came right out of nowhere, had nothing to do with nothing, it made no sense, and I really don’t think it’s gonna be mentioned again.

…Yeah, it deserves it.

alligatormoment

After….that, the lady is knocked out by eating her own meatloaf (haw school food sucks) and while the office ladies are tending to her, Jamie takes those records she was planning to take like an hour ago.

That night, she starts feeling guilty for doing that and she has a devil angel shoulder moment. Okay.

The next day, Isabella gets contacts to look better and Jamie is not happy because they were both preaching about inner beauty. Oh, and she reveals that the charity was fake. Yeah, I’m certainly not sympathizing with Isabella at here.

So when they argue, I’m 100 percent on Jamie’s side. It’s not an even playing field. Really, I’m agreeing with the principal now. Isabella’s been horrible this whole movie and faking a charity to make money is crossing the line.

After that, Jamie returns the Alpha bitch’s record, which kind of makes that bit pointless. Then at lunch she says that somehow the popular kids, including Hudson and the bitch, have gotten hold of her dumb diary.

Ouch. If the person who did this is who I think it is…nah, Jamie likely just left it somewhere by mistake.

This leads to a “sad” moment that almost kind of works. I’m so used to moments like this falling flat but I have no reason to really dislike Jamie with the crap she’s going through now. So…I’ll give them a pass.

That night, she cries about it until she decides that future Jamie won’t be like this. …It’s gonna be a song, isn’t it?

Yep, but it’s a sad song sung in universe…so I’ll let it slide. This time.

I guess you found the cure for aides…

…There’s something I didn’t expect to hear in a kids movie. After the song, Carol shows up with the Diary. She gives her a motivational speech and it’s a ‘nice” moment. The Jump-a-thon is tomorrow so it looks like we’re almost done.

After she gets there, she sees Angeline, the supposed Alpha Bitch, worrying about how she can’t jump and thus can’t represent the school. Yeah, I should have mentioned that she acted nice the whole movie and Jamie only hated her cuz she was “perfect” …Whoops.

Because this could lead to the school losing art, she takes pitty on her. Yeah, she’s only doing this because of her precious not art, not cuz of Angeline. Whatever.

Her problem is solved by having Jamie and Isabella simply hold the rope while she jumps. So she can jump, she just can’t hold it and jump ….Clarifying that would have been helpful.

After they help her, Isabella explains that Angeline actually took Jamie’s diary away from everyone else once she find out it was hers. Meaning, she didn’t like that she was being mocked and even covered for her.

Yeah, got no comments for that. Oh. And Jamie and Isabella made up…yeah, no explanation, they just solved their problem somehow. Lame.

Also, Carol is engage to the principal guy. Cuz why not. And it turns out he is Angeline’s uncle, so she and Jamie are now related. Wah wah.

Because of her new info, she’s mostly okay with this. Plus, the school has money and art now. And on the whole charity subplot, they decided to start it for real so they can be on the side of good again, instead of just owning up to their mistake.

Jamie then narrates some cheesy speech about how everyone is awesome. Then she tells Angeline about the record thing, just to clear up every little pointless subplot.

“Even though we’re gonna be cousins…Hudson is still gonna be MY date to the wedding”

And she’s a bitch now despite everything. Lovely.

If you guessed that the movie ends with another song, then ….that’s sad that you got used ot it. Actually, it starts then the credits roll, making this a credits song. Whatever. Also, yep, I expected a weak ending.

It wasn’t even a proper ending. No real climax. They just wrapped up the plot and…the end. Whatever.

Final Thoughts:

Remember how I mentioned Judy Moody? Yeah, that’s a good comparison this that is basically that one…just better. They both have “quirky” main characters with weird quirky elements and imagine spots. Tons of movies like that do this but these 2 do it the most.

They also have loose plots and basically mean they have poorly written plots. The main different? This one isn’t as obnoxious about its quirky-ness even if it’s just as cliché about it. The main character is also more likable since it looks like she actually learns something.

This one also has a point to it even if in the end I didn’t get a lot from it. This also had better acting from the lead despite not having any people I know in it. As whole, this one is better even though it might as wqell be the same movie.

This movie was…okay, I guess. It’s somehow both forgettable yet memorable in how odd it is. Again, much like Judy Moody. That may be due to the songs. Seriously in the end we had 5 pointless out of place musical numbers because…reasons!

Everything else is standard. The plot is loose and thus all over the place and filled with clichés. Subplots just kind of come and go. The record plot? Rarely addressed and adds nothing. The fake charity? Resolved in a rushed manner. The Jump-a-thon stuff adds something but that’s really it.

The Isabella stuff is the weakest as they barely resolve it. At least in Judy Moody, Frank apologized. Here, they just…make up. That’s it! Btu at least Isabella learned something and our main character didn’t come across as a bitch.

But the actual story is okay, I suppose. Acting is fine, but unspectacular. The characters are what you expect. Jamie is sort of likable since she has amusing lines and despite her bitch-y moments she has nice bits like the future song I went over. Not the best, but she’s okay.

Everyone else is just there. Isabella is a bitch who stops being a bitch because reasons. Carol is okay but underused…and everyone isn’t important enough. Angeline and Hudson are good examples.

Then there’s the humor. It’s actually not the worst, as there were some funny moments and this elements makes this movie…enjoyable in how weird it is. Like with Russell Madness, if you get a few friends, you could have fun riffing on it.

And it’s better than that one to boot.

Overall, this movie is okay. It does what Judy Moody did but better. It’s somewhat enjoyable, even with all the out of place musical numbers, but it’s nothing special. I can’t say how it is compared to the books but since the author was a writer, I’ll assume it’s faithful.

But seriously, what was up with the songs?!

Grade: C+

We’ve been doing a lot of direct to video films. Next time, I mix it up with a sequel to a movie that SHOULD have been direct to video.

…Yes, it’s Planes 2.

See ya.

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Top 20 Phineas and Ferb Episodes (Part 2)

Hello, Spongey here.

Welcome back to the 2nd and final part of our 2nd remake of a list. We were counting down my favorite Phineas and Ferb episodes…from Seasons 1-3. If you don’t remember the list so far, here’s a recap.

20. Rollercoaster The Musical

19. Finding Mary McGuffin

18. The Lemonade Stand

17. Phineas and Ferb’s Quantum Boogaloo

16. The Beak

15. Phineas’ Birthday Clip 0 Rama

14. A Real Boy

13. It’s About Time!

12. Mom’s Birthday

11. Excaliferb

MONOGRAM: Nice Recap.

Shut it.

Not a ton to say, really. Read part one for more info. When you’re done come back, so we can finish counting the best out of those 104 plus days of summer vacation.

This, is Part 2 of The Top 20 Phineas and Ferb Episodes

10. The Best Lazy Day Ever

Writers: Jon Colton Barry, Mike Roth

Sometimes an episode is just great from the concept alone. When you hear about it, you know it’s gonna something special in some way. This is one of those times.

Here’s the concept: Phineas and Ferb…take the day off and do nothing. Absolutely Nothing. Because Candace has to bust them every day, this drives her insane. Meanwhile, Doof makes an Ugly-inator.

Like I said, this is just an awesome concept. Having Candace go crazy because the boys are doing nothing is just destined to be awesome. And it was.

This is a good example of an episode that’s plain funny. They squeeze a lot of jokes out of both plots and all of them hit bulls eye. This has one of the funniest Doof plots because they use the Ugly-inator in creative ways.

The best part is when it hits Jeremy’s Band and they become this group just yelling UGLY a lot. It’s hilarious. I actually remember laughing a bit too loud when I first saw that. Yeah.

Besides that, there’s other good parts like Vance Ward (voiced by Albert himself) and Candace’s attempts to get the boys to do something. This episode just has a lot of Comedy both from actual jokes and just seeing Candace go crazy.

But the main reason this one is so good is in the insight into Candace’s character. I mean, for once she’s faced with the boys doing nothing. This leads to good jokes but we get to see just how much she needs the boys to spice up her life.

“If they’re doing nothing then…who is Candace?”

Yeah, it turns out that as much as she hates their inventions, she pretty much has to bust or …that happens. That’s pretty deep and another example of how Candace was developing in Season 1.

It’s really amazing how Candace turned out. She tarted like another teenage girl but now she’s not only funny with how crazy she is, but also deep with interesting development. This episode was a nice example of that.

This episode also gives us the song Do Nothing Day which is a great parody of Bubblebum pop with it’s sickeningly sweet lyrics:

Sunshine, cuddles, and puppies, wet noses and safety and laughter, and skip to and fro,

holdin’ hands cherry snow cones, and rainbows and no place where we have to go!

It also works as a real song because it has killer harmony. Not in my Top 80 but still pretty good. They actually originally had a different song called “Breath” but they used this because it worked better against Ugly.

They later used Breathe in Candace Gets Busted. Ouch.

My only problem with this episode is the ending. Sort of. See, Candace is building some thing when Stacy shows up to remind her of Jeremy’s concert. Doof’s stuff, as usual, gets rid of it by taking it to Jeremy’s concert while the two are on it.

Then after that…they don’t appear again. They are dropped off at the concert and the episode ends with Linda arriving home with another joke with Vance Ward. It feels…incomplete, you know?

But that’s a nitpick since the actual ending is funny.

Overall, this is a very enjoyable episode with tons of great jokes and interesting insight into Candace’s character. Despite a weak ending, it’s pretty darn awesome and a lot of fun.

9. Oh, There You Are Perry

Writers: Aliki Theofilopoulos Grafft, Antoine Guilbaud

I’m pretty every show that has a pet character is required by law to an episode where they run away or get lost. Since Perry vanishes every day, it makes sense to do an interesting take on that. That’s where this episode comes in.

After Doof is changed to a minor threat, Perry is relocated to a more evil villain, which means living his family. After they discover this, Phineas and Ferb try to get him back.

This is a pretty simple episode if you look at the actual story. Perry disappears for longer than usual, the boys get worried, they make a song, and he comes back. Not the biggest story ever, but it’s how it’s done that makes it great.

Mostly because of Perry and Candace. We’ll start with Perry. We see how much he cares about his owners, especially with the look on his face as he leaves. But besides that, everything with Doof is great.

Perry’s new nemesis, The Regurgiator (“You can push him down, but he keeps coming back up!”) is actually competent and doof doesn’t like that…but he gets a job with him anyway. They would do this kind of thing with other villains but he started it and he’s delightfully hammy.

Also, he’s voiced by Clancy Brown. We’ll be seeing him again later, hint hint.

All the stuff with him brings the humor and it’s great. Then we have Candace. The night before, she tripped on him and kicked him out. Perry was sassy about it. So when he vanishes, she blames herself.

It’s another highlight because it does show development for her, as she regrets being such a jerk to him. After this, she seems to like Perry a lot more.

As you can guess, the emotion is what makes this one work. There’s plenty of Comedy to break it up, but all the sweet moments are great. Like I said, Perry leaving is heartbreaking and I really like seeing how dedicated the boys are to finding him.

It leads to a few gags but it’s mostly great at the end where they perform the song Come Home Perry. It’s not my favorite song, but it’s sweet and Larry, I mean Candace’s part is nice.

I suppose it’s unfair to have this one so high since this kind of episode is meant to be awesome. Pets leaving plots tend to be sweet so this one didn’t even have to try. But I do really feel it’s great for that reason.

It tugs on the heartstrings and bring out the best in all the characters. The boys show how much they love Perry, Candace gets a nice arc, and I already mentioned that Perry scene.

Oh, and Doof is funny as usual.

Unlike other entries, this is great for all the reasons you expect it to be and it doesn’t require much explanation. Why is it higher than the last few, then? Cuz it just all works really well with the sweet moments and Gurgy’s stuff.

It’s just fun on top of being sweet, and it has a better ending than the previous entries. I suppose I have a soft spot for these type of stories, but it’s still great.

It’s incredibly sweet, it has touching moments, it’s funny and it has perfect proytrals of all the characters. And the song is nice too.

…Yeah, that’s about it. Told you it’s a simple one. I’ll go change my name to Larry.

8. The Remains of the Platypus

Writers: Zac Moncreif, John Mathot.

I’m just gonna say it: This is the funniest episode of the whole show.

Why is that? Well, it’s not really because of the jokes itself…but how we see them. Let me explain.

Phineas and Ferb create Cheesetopia (“It’s a Utopia, with cheese”) while Doof uses his new inator to turn Perry into his butler.

On the surface, that doesn’t sound like anything too special. But here’s the thing: This episode is told in reverse order.

Yes, really.

It starts with Doof in his underwear, as he is partying with a bunch of dancing midgets, and Perry is his butler and Carl is a squirrel outfit.

Yes.

The rest of the episode peels back the story bit by bit to explain why this is all happening. And my god, is it hilarious. On its own, the episode is already funny because it has a ton of creative gags and a pretty strong plot.

But if you put it in reverse, it becomes so much funnier due to how odder it is out of context. This is a weird show and while this ep is no weirder than normal, doing it this way makes it seem weirder, and thus funnier.

Besides that, there’s a lot of little things I like. Phineas and Ferb’s Big Idea is fun and it comes with one of the few songs in the show that is impossible to sing. Adyson gets a little funny moment. And of course, there’s Buford’s cheese puns, which are actually pretty clever.

“It couldn’t get any Cheddar than this!”

The actual story works too. It’s so heartbreaking to see Perry turned into Doof’s slave, even if it gives us some fun gags. It also leads to Carl getting a cool moment as he has to go out to save Perry.

He doesn’t do much in the end but he does spill juice on Perry which helps for reasons I won’t get into. Let’s just say Perry found an awesome way to snap out of his trance.

This episode just has a lot going for it. If the unique format wasn’t enough, it has memorable jokes, and even a solid story with nice moments. It’s very creative and it shows that they are willingly to something different with the formula.

As much as I like the big development episodes (which were very abundant in Season 3, even if Isabella and Stacy had to wait til next season), I also like a hugely creative and fun story.

If it was told normally, it would good but in the way same way something like Just Our Luck is good. It would a ton of fun but nothing too special. With how it is, it has all it’s great qualities but now it’s special and even funnier.

It’s a classic case of an episode that never fails to make me laugh. It has a cool format, very solid jokes, nice moments, and even a decent story.

Overall, it’s just a hilarious and creative episode all around. I hope you loiked this entry, because it’s our last 11 minute episode. The rest are 22 minutes or longer.

Does that make this my favorite 11 minute segment? …Eh, it’s tied with The previous 2. I put this higher due to how creative it is.

So yeah, let’s move on.

7. Phineas and Ferb Get Busted

Writers: John Colton Barry, Piero Piluso

Yeah, here’s an obligatory choice. They had to do this eventually, and while it’s weird that they did it early in production order (Only episode 16), it was still interesting and made for an awesome episode.

When the day finally comes, and the boys are busted, they are sent to a school where the imagination is sucked out of them. Now, Candace must bust them…out!

I suppose I should start with the elephant in the room: The ending. I didn’t cover it the first time and I think you all know the ending so here we go:
It turns out to be Candace’s dream…but then THAT turns out to be Perry’s dream.

Understandably, this pissed some people off. After all, this kind of ending is almost always a cop out. How do I feel? …Eh.

Honestly, I’m okay with it. Mostly due to it being a double dream. If it was just Candace’s dream, it would just be a cop out. Plus, with her now knowing what could happen if she busts them, it would make no sense for her to keep doing it.

But with the addition of Perry, it mixes things up. Instead of being a cop out, it’s actually kind of amusing. Plus, the ending bit where Perry cuddles with Phineas is just adorable.

I see it the same way I see the ending to Stewie Kills Lois/Lois Kill Stewie. It works cuz they go all out with it and it’s something that really shouldn’t be the status qou. Plus, the rest ep is so good it doesn’t matter.

Now onto the actual episode.

Like Oh There You are Perry, this one was just made to be great. The concept alone suggest that you’re in for something special, either for humor or heart. We got a lot of both.

The main reasons for this one being great are pretty obvious, but I’ll go over them anyway. First off, we get the kind of plot where someone achivies their goal but realizes their life is a bit empty now that they have done so.

Candace starts to miss the boys and we see how much she cares about them. It starts with a tear jerking song that does its job very well. It’s not my favorite sad song, but it’s emotional and works pretty well.

And then we have the stuff at the Reform school. This is actually my favorite part of the episode. Seeing this evil sergeant guy (voiced by Clancy brown, told you) suck the imagination out of them is pretty horrifying.

The guy himself gets scarier as the ep goes on, thanks to Clancy Brown’s performance. The scene when they finally crack is…damn.

And of course it comes with my pick for my favorite song in the show. It’s still a rocking song that shows how sad the situation is without being too depressing.

This one of those episodes that just keeps my attention all the way through. Right from the start with Linda seeing the thing to the end, this episode throws a lot of cool things at you. They are plenty of fun gags such as Baljeet being there, and Candace and Jeremy’s attempts to get into the place.

It keeps a nice pace with either fun gags or interesting plot points. The episode gets scary, sad, heartwarming, and funny. All in the same 22 minute block. And of course, all the characters are on point, especially Candace.

Speaking of which, the big scene where she turns them back to normal is…damn. It’s probably one of the most heartwarming scenes in the whole show. It would be the most epic “I know what We’re going to do today” if it weren’t for Thanks but No Thanks where they yell it so loudly Candace starts ringing in her ears.

Yes.

It’s the scene that really brings it all together for me, into being one of my favorites.

It’s really cool to see how much Candace truly loves her brothers, and they did a great job at conveying the moral in a scary but good way. It’s better than Quantum Boogaloo cuz it makes more sense here and we get to see what they do the kids.

Is the dream thing a cop out? Sure, and it does prevent this one from being higher, but the episode works despite that.

My only problem is just…why was it made so early? For once, Disney did it better.

Seriously, look up the production order for each season. Irving’s cameo in Cliptastic Countdown comes BEFORE his actual introduction!

Overall, this episode gave me everything I wanted. A special episode where see Candace caring about her brothers, with fun gags, incredibly emotional moments, and even some scary stuff. Even if it’s a dream, it’s a damn good dream.

I guess you could say this one is busted…for being so good!

…Let’s move on.

6. Meapless in Seattle

Writers: Derek Thompson, Jon Colton Barry, Kyle Menke.

It’s a known fact that sequels are rarely as good as the orginals. But leave it to this show to defy that. In Season 2, they had an episode called “The Chronicles of Meap” where the boys helped an alien fix his spaceship and stop his enemies, Mitch.

In the credits, they had…actually, I’ll get the opening tell you:

“A long time ago in a studio in Burbank, California, a ragtag group of animators made a fake trailer for a Meap sequel they never intended to make. Unfortunately, everyone wanted to see that episode so the animators were forced to write it and incorporate all these seemingly unrelated scenes. I guess the joke was on them. We now present…. Meapless in Seattle.”

We’ll get to that a moment, but first, the plot summary:

Meap returns to save Phineas and Ferb from his nemesis Mitch, whose real mission is to take control of all of alien-kind, putting Meap’s world in danger. The boys’ “cute-tracker” leads the gang to Seattle and an adventure to save the universe.

First off, let’s address what they did with the trailer scenes. See, they fit some into the story fine…but with the rest, they forced them in…in the funniest way possible.

It’s basically a parody of how scenes in trailers will be in a different context than in the actual movie. For example, Monogram tells Perry to put his hat on the desk…and It turns out it’s so he can spray it with some stuff.

There’s stuff like that in the quarter and it’s all really clever. But thankfully, they told a fine story out of this trailer.

While I like the original Meap episode, I never loved it like everyone else did. I think people liked it because it was neat to see a larger scale space story in this story. But since then we’ve had bigger stories so it’s mostly just a fun episode now.

With this one, I got the experience everyone else had with that episode.

They did a good job making an epic space story with tons of action and suspense. The episode is basically a chase to get this thing called Cutimon which Mitch wants in order to become the cutest thing in existence.

They keep things interesting throughout with the action and Comedy. Especially when Doof gets sucked into this story. We’ll get to him in a bit.

It never gets dull and it’s full of fun action all the way phrase. Of course, it’s pretty funny with plenty of fun gags such as everything Doof says. Especially his comment on Mitch making a joke about the commercial break.

Yes, broke the 4th wall to …lampshade a 4th wall joke. Yeah.

There was plenty of awesome moments, such as Isabella defeating Mirch with extreme cute-ness. Yeah, it turns out her being the cutest thing ever is a scientific fact. Is it sue-ish?

…Maybe it’s still awesome. Besides they foreshadowed it with the cute tracer breaking in the first one, so it didn’t come out of nowhere.

There’s also an amusing side plot with Candace going with P&F and doing a “Sacrfical bust”. She eventually gives up her phone in order to stop Mitch, which is an awesome moment. The final punchline is actually funny as it uses irony correctly.

So the episode already has a lot going for it due to a fun plot with a ton of action and nice jokes. There’s even a Jeff Foxworthy cameo and the cutest war song ever made.

However, the real highlight is Doof’s subplot. See, he’s in Seattle to see Peter the Panda because…reason not announced. That’s how get gets sucked up in this and eventually Peter and Perry team up.

That’s cool but the real reason his plot is the highlight is..well let me explain.

In the first Meap episode, Doof told us that when he was a kid, he got a (creepy) Balloon- that he named Balloon-y. He was his best friend until one day, it floated away and he couldn’t get it due to being a Lawn Gnome at the time. Don’t ask.

Eventually, he found him but Mitch got to him first and named him Colin. When Balloon-y didn’t go back to Doof, he got mad and announced that Perry is his true best friend. That brings us to this episode.

He finds Balloon-y but he’s now evil and he attacks them along with Mitch’s robots. However,something happens..

“Balloony, please help me. Balloony! Oh, don’t let me go like I did with you. Balloony, what ever happened to us?”

Suddenly, he springs to life and starts fighting off the Robots. It’s freaking awesome no matter how little sense it makes. But then, just when it seems Doof has his friend back…one of the robots pops him.

“No. Balloony. Stay with me, I-I’m not going to let you go a second time. Balloony! I can feel my heart… popping.”

The show has a number of sad and emotional moments over the years. Some of which I’m getting to later. This…is one of the saddest. I mean..wow. This is a ridiculous concept we have here: The death of a Balloony.

Yet, the scene is done in a way that makes it…heartbreaking. Given Doof’s relationship with Balloony, it’s a very cool moment when he turns good. So it’s extra side when he dies.

It’s honestly a rather complex moment for a kid’s show. Dan’s performance really sells it, making it just as sad as it is funny. And yeah…I actually did kind of…cry a tiny bit when I first saw this.

…Yeah I know but I didn’t expect it at all!

In the end, Perry actually repairs Balloony and the episode ends with him and Doof having fun. It’s…another great moment. It’s really sweet and makes this plot even better.
..

Which brings us to something I mentioned in part 1. Remember how I said there’s another reason This is Your Backstory isn’t as good as Clip 0 Rama?
Yeah, here’s a reason:

At one point, Doof mentions Balloon again he they bring him out…and he pops. But Norm says it was a fake…and the real Balloony popped three weeks ago. Doof cries.
..
Do I need to get into why this is…bad? It’s…the worst moment in the series. Yes, worse than the ending to Candace gets busted. I mean, besides it being…really mean spirited, it’s…almost insulting to those who got emotional over that scene.

Yeah, this show managed to insult me. Really.

It doesn’t even make sense. Balloony was fixed at the end, so why can’t they fix him again? And this ep has a clip from Meapless and its way after it in production order. Infact, its the Season 3 finale and episode 100.

I guess I shouldn’t expect more from an ep written by the director of Eight Crazy Nights.

…But the episode is still good despite that bad scene. Hating an episode for one scene is dumb. That’s like hating Tri State Treasure just for that bit with Candace at the end of her plot.

Despite that, I look on this episode fondly. Besides, Doof still has Vanessa and Perry.

Overall, this episode has it all. It continues the story from a good episode, it has good pacing with a nice plot and fun action, it’s funny, makes trailers well, and it has one of the saddest scenes in the whole show.

And they even a trailer for another episode they have no plans on making. With the show ending, it looks like they will keep their promise.

So yeah, fun episode that happens to be really sad to boot. It’s awesome.

5. Dude, We’re getting the Band Back Together!

Writers: Chris Headrick, Chong Lee

Yeah, another obligatory choice. This has become one of the most popular episodes of the show, and one of the most important. And yeah, it’s earned that reception.

Lawrence forgets his wedding anniversary, so Phineas and Ferb help him make it up to Linda by getting their favorite band together for a reunion concert. Meanwhile, Perry helps Doofenshmirtz to put together a party for his daughter’s Sweet 16.

The set up isn’t the most original but the execution makes it work. Usually in these type of stories, they tend to play it up for humor and portray the husband as stupid for forgetting this.

Here, it’s a bit different. Lawrence made a genuine mistake, and he’s portrayed as a normal person who simply slipped up. They got into how much he loves Linda and this was just a slip up. He’s never shown as stupid at all.

Other stories like this do go into the backstory and have a nice moment, but few do it as well as this. We get a flashback to how they meet that is very nice and the ending really gives them a great moment. We don’t focus on them that often but when they do, it’s very nice.

The only other ep to really focus on it is Ladies and Gentlemen Meet max Modem, which almost made this list because it’s great too.

But that’s only a part of why this one is so great.

This one of those episodes that just flows perfectly, as every little part comes together to make for one of the best moments in the show. First, there’s the fact that Candace drops her sort of hatred for the boys to help out.

It’s small but it’s really nice to see and they have a minor nice moment at the end. Then we have the Doof plot, which isn’t the best but it’s still very sweet. It mostly amounts to Vanessa getting a cool looking party due to the destruction Doof left, but it still leads a nice moment.

This was the first time they’re relationship got development and it was really nice to see. Doof pretty much learns that maybe listening to what your daughter wants is a good thing sometimes.

Also, we are introduced to Johnny, who is goth…and that’s it. He vanished until near the end of Season 2, then he appeared in early Season 3 and…then they dropped him for someone that’s actually interesting.

But that’s neither here nor there.

Then of course, we have Love Handle. They are pretty much an accurate portrayal of 90’s bands and they are awesome. They are named after P&F Crew members (Danny and Swampy are obvious, but Bobbi is named after Bobby Gaylor, voice of Buford) and they are voiced by Steve Zahn, Mr Crocker, and the Bowling for soup guy.

For one, every song in the episode is really good, showing each member’s personality well, and they forward the story.

Fablous is fun and gives you fodder for jokes. But you know what’s funny? In the P&F live show, they remix a few songs so different characters sing them and for this one, Candace sings it.

…You know what’s hilarious, right?

Ain’t Go Rhyhym is a great build up song, and the big song near the end is lovely for reasons I’ll get into. Then there’s Danny Story, which uses many different styles to inforce the themes of the episode.

Which we’ll get into now. At the start, we are told that Mom and Dad hooked up at a Love Handle concert, and at the end a concert is what brings them even closer together. If you can’t tell, the theme is that music has the power to change lives.

And they pull it off really well. For one, the songs actually help get the band member back together, which is natural for a musical. But they go further with it with the effect it has on people.

The band broke up for typical reasons (they were all assholes) and even when they get back together, they aren’t sure about this. They don’t think they have any fans anymore. But when Phineas opens that garage door, they see that everyone still loves their music.

And because of their music affected people, they are brought back together for this song. But even after that…they are still together. They appear many times after this episode and they even become popular again.

Popular enough to spawn a cover band that plays in Sandals.

So this episode is important now, but it also really shows what music can really do. It’s also cool that the boys managed to revive a band for good.

It all pretty much comes together in the big song at the end. During this love ballad, Lawrence and Linda find another spark and kiss, Phineas hugs Candace to celebrate a job well done, love handle sings, Vanessa admits that Doof did something right, and everything has a good time.

Add a very nice sounding song and you have the most beautiful moment of Season 1, even more so than some bits of P&F get busted. We get to see the impact music has on people and how everyone got their happy ending.

It’s hard to describe, but it’s just amazing. Every little thing the episode has is shown here and with this moment, it got the Number 5 spot.

And on top of all that, the episode is funny with a number of solid gags. Not quite as funny as others but still fun.

Overall, there is a reason this episode became popular. It takes a few small cliché elements and makes it into a wonder episode where all characters are at their best, the jokes are funny, the music is great, and it has a lovely message about music that is shown perfectly shown the characters.

It’s pretty brilliant and it has earned its reputation as a fan and staff favorite. Plus, it has a title drop. It’s awesome.

4. Phineas and Ferb’s Christmas Vacation

Writers: John Colton Barry, Piero Piluso

Christmas Episode can be hit or miss, but most of them tend to be really excellent. Despite being a summer show, Phineas and Ferb managed to crank one of the best Christmas Episodes of all time. Yes, I like it that much.

Phineas and Ferb turn Danville into a Thank You letter for Santa, while Doof tries to turn the Tri State Area despite his intense apathy towards Christmas. Also, Candace worries about what to give Jeremy for Christmas.

This was the first “Special” of the series, as it is half an hour without commercials. And it’s pretty impressive in hindsight. They managed to fit it just as much stuff as the other specials in half the time.

It has a lot going on in it but like most episodes, it doesn’t feel cluttered and everything flows together. Every little plot point is well done and it all adds up to a great plot.

For one, they certainly got the Christmas stuff right. They capture that Christmas feeling pretty well and they pack in a lot of funny Christmas gags and references. That along with the sweet story really makes this one a good one to watch every year.

The songs also add to it. That Christmas Feeling does what the title implies and is very enjoyable with great vocals. What does he want is a fun bonus song, Where did we go wrong is a nice sad song, Thank you Santa is the perfect ending song, Christmas is Starting now is jazzy fun, and I Really don’t hate Christmas is a villain song about being apathetic to something.

Now onto the actual story. Candace’s plot is nothing too amazing but it has some funny jokes and it helps to add to the pile of sweet this episode has. It’s one of the more engaging Candace/Jeremy plot lines.

Doof’s plot is just plain hilarious in how it subverts that old cliché. I mean, Doof has so many horrible backstories they made a clip show out of them, yet Christmas is totally fine. Apathy has never been so funny.

Then there’s the Phineas plot, Believe it or not, it’s this part that makes the episode. As much as I love Candace and Doof, this is one of the few times the title characters alone make an episode amazing.

For one, he makes a good point. When you were a kid, and maybe wrote letters to “Sana (HAHHA LETTERS TO SANTA), you proably never thought to thank him, did you? It’s a nice notion and it’s a nice way to drive the plot.

But it also gives us insight into Phineas’ character. He does impossible things all the time and what Santa does is beyond that. So of course Santa is Phineas’ hero!

And at the end we find out his Christmas was to be just like him. D’aww. While Phineas’ best development would come later, this is some of the best insight we’d had into his character.

But the real highlight is the twist, as well as the last 10 minutes or so. They up every story perfectly and it doesn’t’ feel rushed or weak. Allow me to sum it up:

Doof’s naughty intor makes it so Santa views Danville is naughty so he isn’t coming. After moping about it, Phineas eventually gets the chance to do the Danville run himelf. While doing this, Buford gets his one act of kindess, and we find out his wish was to be thought of nice. Baljeet gets a kiss from a girl, and Candace finds out she already got Jeremy what he wanted.

Doof’s inator is destroyed by a Christmas CD. The kids deliver the presents and Santa shows up to thank them. Candace and Jeremy exchange gifts. Then it turns out Santa was the mastermind behind all of this. He gave Doof the Naughty-inator so he could ruin things and give the boys a chance to be him, and he gave Perry the CD that would ruin the inator.

And then everyone has eggnog while Mitchell Musso plays us out, the end.

….Yeah, quite a lot packed into a short time but it flows so perfectly. Not only is it really heartwarming as a whole, but it has nice moments for each character. And oh my god, I love that twist.

I really like it when Santa does stuff like this, cuz he is the kind of guy who would pull something like that. He pretty much messed with Danville so everyone could get what they wanted.

“Santa has to have SOME fun”

By the way, he’s voiced by Clancy Brown. Certainty…different from his other roles on the show.

This twist really just brings everything together. It’s nice seeing Buford be seen as nice, it’s cool seeing Baljeet get a kiss from a girl we never see again, and of course I love Doof saying this is the best Christmas ever…cuz he now hates Christmas.

The ending song helps even more with its message about Thanking Santa, and all of the sweet little gags. Highlights include Doof giving Perry a vase (awesome callback) and Irving getting Phineas and Ferb’s clothes.

Ew.

Like with “Snuck Your Way into my heart”, this ending song brings everything together in a lovely way. It’s not in my top 40, but it is in my Top 100. Yes, I have a whole top 100.

This is certainly one of the most heartwarming episodes with how everything comes together. In the span of 30 minutes, they gave Phineas, Candace, Buford, and Baljeet significant development. That’s impressive this is like half the time of something like Save Summer.

It’s got pretty much everything you want of a P&F Christmas episode. It has funny Christmas gags, wonderful songs, character development for almost everyone, and some heartwarming moments with a nicely handled story that has a great twist.

As far as Christmas episodes go, it’s pretty amazing and it really deserves to become a classic. It has a mostly original story to boot. It used the extra time to give us something a little extra and Phineas helps make it even better.

It’s pretty great and it makes for good yearly viewing. …That’s about it.

3. Where’s Perry?

Writers: Bernie Petterson, J.G. Orrantia, Kaz, and Kim Roberson (Part 1)

Writers: Aliki Theofilopoulos Grafft, Derek Thompson, Edgar Karapetyan, John Mathot, Jon Colton Barry, Kyle Menke (Part 2)

Okay, I know that a lot of people think this shouldn’t be above Christmas Vacation. And to be honest, they are about tied in my heart. I couldn’t decide which one to put on this spot…and I went with this.

Why? I think it’s because its 42 minutes long (if you combine both parts) and as a result, it has most time to flesh out certain elements. But if this doesn’t make you happy, than remember that CV is kind of better.

With that said, let’s go over the plot.

While on a trip to Africa, Phineas and Ferb must leave Perry at home and this little platypus to deal with Carl being turned evil by Doof’s latest Inator. Eventually, an inator zaps Perry and now they must track him down.

I suppose I should start by addressing the elephant in the room. Perry’s whereabouts, naturally, are the focus of the special. It was all over the ads, after all. And where is he?

Africa. ..Yeah, that’s it. Kind of predictable. I personally thought he would be in the land of angry corn people.

Naturally, a lot of people are miffed about this. Especially since Dan Povenmire claims Perry was in a place we’ve never seen on the show before. I know lies are the glue that hold society together but come on.

However…that’s really the one disappointing part of the episode. Everything else is golden. Besides, they have a nice if a bit cheesy explanation for why he’s in Africa. So yeah, shut up about that.

This is another episode that has good pacing. They keep things coming along with action and comedy and it keeps getting more intense and fun as it goes along. There are a little fun little things along with the big things.

Comedy Wise, it’s pretty golden with a lot of memorable gags, especially in part 1. Though part 2 has my favorite joke in the whole Season. It’s from Monogram, that’s all I will say.

And for what’s basically just two episodes strung together, it has an awesome soundtrack. Highly Unconventional Vehicle is a fun song, On the Savanah is an awesome ode to Circle of life, Livin’ with Monkeys is a nice sad song, and Evil for Extra Credit is just amazing.

There’s even some nice animation, as they capture Africa pretty nicely. The action isn’t the best but it’s fast paced enough to be fun in the moment.

And then we have the actual plot. The Phineas plot has a cool invention and a nice amount of fun gags. Though the little sideplot with Buford and Baljeet fighting over Brains vs Brawns was a tad pointless.

Eventually, they think they see Perry in Africa and try to find him. This plot mentions to show their bond even better than Oh, There you Perry. I mean, we see how much it hurts Perry to simply be left at home, and we see how dedicated Phineas is to finding him.

Yes, OTAP did that but in there they just came up with ideas to attract him. Here, they go out of their way to find him, even though the chances are slim. It’s very nice and that extra bit explaining the Africa thing makes it even better.

Candace’s plot also covers something we’ve seen before: Jeremy problems. But we see that in every other episode, so there you go. Due to an accident, she thinks Jeremy broke up with her and she goes to live with Monkeys.

While we know what is going to happen happen, this still works. You see how sick she is of everything, and the song is pretty relatable. With how crazy life can be, sometimes you wane just go live with Monkeys.

Plus. Jungle Candace is badass. It’s cool to see her bonding with animals given how they usually treat her.

Then there’s the Robot Candace Carl made. Normally I wouldn’t spoil this but it’s too amazing not go into:

Robot Candace discovers the whole Jeremy thing while in Candace’s room and finds a message he left on her answering machine. Later in Africa, when a Robot is firing at Candace, she sacrifices her robotic self to save her. Why?

“No Jeremy robot for me.”

And then she gives Candace his message. …Wow, I gotta say that’s pretty complex for a kids show. A robot sacrificing itself because it has no one to love. Dang. And that’s only the 2nd best plot in the episode.

Now for the actual plot. Before this, there have been hints that Carl isn’t exactly happy with being an unpaid intern. In Minor Monogram, he revealed that he sees Monogram as a father figure and like with Norm and Doof, that feeling is not returned.

And now in this episode, when he is turned evil, all of his inner turmoil comes out. First one, he’s a shockingly competent and fun villain. He’s able to track Perry down, he has a good plan, and he’s willingly to put Agent P’s family in danger just to find the little platypus.

Dang. And most of this comes out his frustrations due to being a lowly intern. So he’s competent, decently threatening, fun and has a good motivation and backstory. …Wow, he might be the best villain in the show.

But the important part is that this gives him great development. It’s cool to see him finally lashing out and have Monogram be called out. It really helped make Carl one of my favorite characters. That and he’s funny.

And of course, there’s a sweet moment at the end where he is finally given the title of paid intern. …He’s not actually being paid, but it’s good enough for him!

This is another episode that wraps up pretty well. It just leaves you with a good feeling at the end, even if it could have been a bit stronger. It even ends on a funny gag.

This will go on as the most underrated of the P&F specials. People get so hung up over the disappoint pay off that they don’t see all the great stuff that’s here. Sure, a few of the concepts have been explored before but this executes them better than most episodes.

This is the best “Character turns evil” episode because it goes into it instead of treating it like a gag. (Okay, a certain Season 4 ep almost beats but again, another list). It’s one of the best “Candace has Jeremy problems” plots because it gets decently depressing and that Robot Candace bit is great.

It’s one of the better “Phineas and Perry” plots since…there’s not a lot. At2d is the best one of course, but this is up there for reasons I explained.

Overall, this special is pretty great. Like any good P&F episode, it’s very funny and has good songs, but it’s also quite intense with emotional moments and great character development for one of the best side characters.

The payoff the title mentioned may have been week but everything else was golden. Not everyone will have it this high on their but this is my list and this is one of my favorites, if only for how enjoyable it is with all of these elements.

Like I said, it was a close call between this and Christmas Vacation but I just ended up using this. If this doesn’t make you happy…if at2d counted, it would be in this slot.

So yeah, it’s pretty awesome.

2. Summer Belongs to You

Writers: Dan Povenmire, Robert F. Hughes, Kyle Menke, Kim Roberson, Michael Diederich, Aliki Theofilopoulos Grafft, Antoine Guilbaud, Kaz, J.G. Orrantia, Mike Roth, Perry Zombolas.

Yeah, who am I to veer away from the popular opinion? This has gone down as the most popular episode of the show. It was the first real special and it has gotten nothing but praise ever since it aired.

…And yeah, it’s amazing. Remember, this list is my personal favorites, though. Meaning number one is just my favorite while this is one is the “Best”. Besides, putting this as number one would be a bit too boring.

Phineas and Ferb try to go around the world in one day, while Candace deals with Jeremy being in Paris and Vanessa is unhappy with Doof putting his work over her all the time.

This was the first true special of the series, being about 44 minutes. The other specials followed the same format. And for a first shot, it’s truly amazing. They pack in some of the best development for a lot of the characters while still focusing on a simple story with a lot of jokes.

Song wise, it’s pretty great too. I Believe We can is an inspirational song by Clay Akien so it’s great. Rubber Bands is bouncy and fun, Welcome to Tokyo is…weird, City of Love is lovely and one of Isabella’s best numbers, and of course, the finale song is great. …Yeah, I’m over my hype backlash.

It’s also very funny, like all the heartwarming episodes. Most notably, this introduced The Magical Old Timey Bathing Suit that lives in the Himalayas. He got his own episode. This show is weird.

But my favorite joke has to be this:

“Look, a sponge and a starfish! There has to be something we can do with this…no that’s ridiculous!”

Yes.

Like any good P&F special, it keeps up a good pace with the humor and story. It doesn’t even start slow, as it has notably fun jokes from the beginning. As great as the other P&F specials are, some of them can start a tad slow. This one, and a couple others don’t and while they don’t get truly amazing til later, they still start out well.

Once it gets doing, it’s a whirlwind of feels. Like I said, it’s impressive how much they fit into 40 minutes. There are a few cool little things like how this helped start the awesome Candace/Vanessa friendship.

But now for the big plots of the episode. Vanessa’s plot has her and Doof learning to meet eachother half way and it’s pretty sweet. This also includes a bit with Ferb that kind of ended the Ferness thing. Sort of. Their plot ends with her leaving him on the Eiffel Tower and Ferb is sad, but he gets over it.

Despite this open ending, they never brought it up ever again. Once Monty existed, I guess they didn’t see the point. He even helped sing a song about them in a Halloween episode. I guess they finally dropped this cou-

Ferb_and_Vanessa_as_a_couple_in_-Act_Your_Age-

Well anyway, it’s a nice plot but it’s only the tip of the iceberg. Buford challenges Phineas to do this in the first place, and for everyone he’s a pretty big jerk. But eventually we learn he speaks French (which as it turns out he learned to impress a girl , and he gets sucked into this and learns a thing or too.

It’s nice progression and it further shows how the character has grown since his first appearance.

Isabella gets mad that Phineas isn’t paying attention to her in Paris. This set shippers ablaze, but I like this plot for different reasons. It’s a nice and tragic during the City of Love song, but in the island scene, Isabella actually stops Phineas when he finally sits down with her.

A lot of people pointed out that Isabella has no reason to be mad because Phineas was kind of…busying trying to get them home. But with this scene, I think that was the point. Here, she learns that there are more important things than her silly little crush.

It’s great development for her. But of course, shippers had to ruin everything…..again.

Speaking of shipping, this episode finally brought Candace and Jeremy together for real. Candace starts to realize she’s a bit too creepy and we get awesome development out of it. It address stuff the fans have been wondering, and the two finally hook up in the end.

It’s wonderful and certainly the 2nd best part of the episode. The best part belongs to Phineas. He does this entire thing to prove that nothing is impossible and Summer is what you make of it.

But things keep going wrong until eventually they are on an island with no way out. And it’s here where the episode shines. Phineas breaks down upon realzing that there’s no way out. His world view may actually be wrong, because he can’t invent anything.

This…is heartbreaking as all hell. Mostly due to the transition from “WE CAN DO THIS/; to…”We can’t”. It’s a pivotal moment for the character, because it shows that if he’s in a situation where he can’t do the impossible, he kind of breaks down.

And that’s why his behavior in Bully Bromance break up makes sense.

Of course, he gets better and Isabella’s her moment, but it’s still an excellent scene for the character as we are so used to him being cherry, so it’s heartbreaking to see him like this. The situation gets so intense that he actually yells at Candace in a quick gag.

Wait, now I’m defending behavior in an episode I won’t talk about for a while.

This leads to the big moral of the episode, and the whole show: Summer, or life, is what you make of it. The impossible is possible. This episode shows that beautifully and it’s all because of Phineas.

The final 10 minutes or so are great, bringing all these plot lines together, and it does even better than the last few episodes.

And that’s why this one is probably the best. It really goes out of its way to show us the moral of the show. It has a ton of humor, great songs, and the plot is a clever way to fit in tons of character development.

The only major character who doesn’t learn anything is Baljeet, but he gets an uncle so there. Everyone has a significant arc and it all builds to create a lovely story that’s rather inspirational.

It’s actually one of the few episodes I really see no major problems with. Even my number one has one or two things to nitpick. This one, not so much. It’s just wonderful all around, as it fits in a lot in 40 minutes and not only is not cluttered, but everything is great and it’s kind of beautiful.

So yeah, that’s why this one is so popular. That and shipping.

Overall, this special is wonderful for all the reasons I stated. It has everything the show is known for and more. I typically don’t recommend the big heavy hitting episodes to newcomers (I Remember you, so many birthdays, etc) but if you are one of those people who can’t get past the fact that it has a formula, than this episode alone will prove there’s just a bit more than you may think.

It’s good.

And of course, before Number one, we have the usual honorable mentions.

25. Minor Monogram (Jon Colton Barry, Kyle Menke): I already loved this one for the story and arc it starts, but recently I found a new reason to like it. You know how they managed to give Monty and Vanessa minor arcs before they actually hooked up at the end? Yeah, as it turns out Monty was created to be with Vanessa. So in others words, they created a character to be a love interests…but actually developed him as a character first, and gave the girl a reason to want to be with him, before just putting them together.

…That is admirable, and for that it’s here. …Wait people bitch about this one because they of the whole existing to be with Vanessa thing and don’t see that they did it right? …Huh?

24. Bully Bromance Breakup (John Mathot and Mike Milo): Never has a big gay joke been so emotional. Also, Phineas going crazy. It’s in character so shut up.

23. My Fair Goalie (Jon Colton Barry, Mike Milo) Candace plot with awesome Jeremy moment, funny Doof plot, characters actually losing the big game, and awesome Ferb development. It’s great.

22. Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Max Modem (J.G. Orrantia, Kaz). We should get more Linda/Lawrence episodes if they are going to be as sweet and funny, and 80’s, as this one.

21. Hail Doofania (Aliki Theofilopoulos Grafft, Antoine Guilbaud). Leave the Busting to us was the first ep to mock the formula but this one pretty much used it as its bitch, making for a really funny episode.

And my number one favorite Phineas and Ferb episode is…

1. Nerds of a Feather

Writers: John Colton Barry, Piero Piluso

Yeah, some things never change. In the years since my original list, this still stands as my favorite episode, even after the rest of Season 3, and all of Season 4. By objective standards, it does stand as one of the best, but in this case it’s simply my personal favorite.

I feel did an okay job last time, but now I get to talk about it again in more detail with a fresh perspective. So let’s dive in.

Phineas and Ferb head to the Tri-State Area’s annual sci-fi and fantasy convention to meet their hero, special effects guru Clive Addison. Their plan gets sidetracked when they’re swept into a duel between the fantasy fans and the sci-fi geeks. Meanwhile, Candace tries to keep secret that she’s a fan of Ducky Momo, a kiddie TV Show.

One reason this one is great is that each plot line is equally remarkable for one reason or another. Most of the 22 minute eps have that, but this one even more so. As usual, we’ll go through each plot.

On the Doof side of things, we see Doof and Perry randomly starring in an 80’s cop show called Doof N Puss. We later find out that Doof was pitching this show to a TV Executive named Jeff McGarland, voiced by Seth MacFarlane.

Subtle.

“That’s lazy writing”

No comment.

While some may find the subplot a bit…awkward until the payoff, it’s still great. They spoof these type of shows perfectly from the intro to the random explosion placed in the action scenes.

It helps fill the humor quota, but if you want story, the other plots have you covered.

Like with the last few entries, the Phineas plot helps make this one great. We’ve seen stories about how oyu shouldn’t fight before, but this one directly attacks fandom wars. It shows exactly why they are so dumb: Most geeky fans are weird outcasts, so there’s no reason to fight.

It’s a nice moral and it has a nice ending. Plus, Irving and Albert have a sweet little moment. This plot also gives us a ton of great nerdy jokes, like the bit about the even numbered Space Adventure movies.

It certainly helps make this one as good as it is, as I personally know what fandom wars can be like. So seeing this ep tells us that they are pointless is pretty awesome. Sadly, this fandom hasn’t learned this lesson yet.

Then there’s the Candace plot. This is what brings this episode to being my all time favorite. We find out that she’s a closest fan of a kiddie show that people view as stupid. At first it seems like it will be played as a joke…but no.

We get a song that tells us that Ducky Momo comforted her as a kid and a result, she went through life having Ducky Momo as her best friend. Ducky is personal to her, and she’s still a big fan to this day.

However, it’s seen as a little kid’s thing and she fears she will be mocked. So she must hide her love for fear of ultimate shame.

….Yeah. This is probably the deepest development she’s gotten in a single episode. If you thought Mom’s Birthday helped make her likable, just watch this. We see a time in her life when she was lonely and a simple tv character helped her get through it.

It adds another layer of tragedy to the character and the songs shows this wonderfully. Especially since this is realistic. We all have our thing from out childhood we hold dear, even if we’re too old for it. It’s a classic case of a guilty pleasure.

And I think it’s safe to say adults enjoy something for little girls is kind of popular now. Actually, this perfectly sums up how some of those people feel and it is like a commentary on it….and it aired a few months before you know what. Wow.

So this plot is very relatable and it brings more tragedy to an already tragic character. And it has a really heartwarming ending with Suzy to boot. Yeah, the people still hating her after saving their lives is dumb but the bit with Jeremy makes up for it.

Since then, Ducky Momo has become an important fixture in the show. He’s made some cameos and has gone on to make major appearances as in episodes like Ferb Tv and Terrifying Tri State Trilogy of Terror.

Heck, even Vanessa got into it. …She thinks it’s Ironic.

So this plot is important in terms of both character development, and the shows universe. That’s impressive.

I’m not sure I can 100 percent explain exactly why all of this adds up to my all-time favorite episode. We can agree it’s one of the best, but an all-time favorite?

Well, I suppose it’s because the two biggest plot lines are personal to me. Seeing fandom wars be mocked was very cool, and I think it’s obvious why I connect with the Candace plotline.

Plus, I like seeing some of Candace’s best and deepest development ever, and it’s incredibly heartwarming. It also lots of humor, another important factor for me. Oh, and it has good songs but even the “bad” episode has that.

This is just one of those episodes that is very even, with each plot being equally great. The Phineas plot has fun nerdy jokes and a nice moral, the Perry plot is very funny, and the Candace plot has great development and its own good moral.

It also has Kevin Smith.

It just makes you feel good at the end as everything is wrapped up in a nice little bow. Each plot has a great ending and I didn’t feel like any part of it was weak. It’s a personal episode for me with its humor and subject matter.

But even on a critical level, it’s great for morals and character development. In airdate order, this comes after SBTY. That was an amazing double feature.

Even after all this time, this is still my favorite. It does everything right and then some. I’ve gone on about the amazing heart, humor and development so I think I’ve said enough.

SBTY may be better for its themes and story, but this will always be my favorite for all the reasons I stated. It has a likable portrayal of our heroes, an amazing portrayal of Candace, and some nice morals and humor.

Everything that is great about the show is present, and it’s one I never get tired of. For all that and more, it is easily my favorite episode of Phineas and Ferb.

And once again, those were my top 20 P&F episodes, excluding Season 4. A couple weeks after it ends, I will be doing a special list. Then after that, I will do my Top 11 Season 4 episode list, and you’ll see which ones are now in the top 20.

I’ll save my big “this show will be missed” spiel for that last, so for now I’ll just say that this has certainly left an impact on animation and a lot of people’s lives. All of these episodes show exactly why it was popular, and I know I’ll still be watching these for years to come.

In the meantime, I’m still waiting for Gravity Falls to come back.

See ya.

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Russell Madness

It's about a dog who can wrestler. No amount of snark can make that funnier.

It’s about a dog who can wrestler. No amount of snark can make that funnier.

Hello, Spongey here.

Hey, remember the Buddies? Of course you do. A couple years ago I reviewed all the films in the Air Buddies franchise and regretted. Almost all the films were cheap cash grabs with stereotypical characters, terrible writing and lame humor.

When I finished it off with Super Buddies and later the Santa Paws spin off, I figured it was done until they made a new one. …But they have not made a new one. There hasn’t been a new film since Super Buddies.

That’s odd since there was one in each years for the past couple years, but in 2014 they took a break. Well, this year I guess they wanted to make up for it bu they don’t want to actually a Buddies movie.

So they went back to the formula of the original Air Buddies series and combined it with a recent trend. Because that always turns out well.

The director of these films, Robert Vince, is famous for only making bad animal movies, such as MVP and its sequels (Oh god, I gotta cover that at some point), and Spymate. His films have either Monkeys or Dogs for some reason.

So he combined that with the buddies to make today’s movie. I saw an ad for it and thought it was a Buddies movie until I looked into it further. Yeah. See, the formula with the original series was to put Air Bud into various sports.

And I guess they liked it because we have…this. What trend did they combine it with? Wrestling of course! That’s big so of course we must cash in on it. I don’t know whats a dumber idea, this or Flintstones Meets WWE.

That’s a thing that came in 2015.

I was bored and I had no idea what to review this week. This came out on Netflix…so here we go. We’ll find out if this is actually decent or as bad as his other films.

The writers consist the usual team and the two people have done nothing. So yeah, let’s dive in and insert wrestling pun here.

This is, Russell Madness

After the most horrifying logo in existence (Air Bud Entertainment? Shudder), the movie starts with badly acted narration from our main character, Russell voiced by Jeff from Clarence. …Well everyone has a bad performance sometimes.

He tells about how he was a scaredy dog and how he got adopted by some kid.

“He’s so cute”

And he pisses on him. Lovely.

The kid is understandably scared off and we find out that this happens often. Well, I can predict the plot already. He’s pretty much never adopted as he grows up. Hey, at least he’s not Grumpy Cat.

We then our cut to our human characters, a family that has just found an old wrestling arena. The little sister is played by that young sister from Crash and Bernstein. She has amazing range.

This place belongs to the Dad’s father or something and it’s pretty run down right now. They got it in the will and they must make it turn a profit within the year, so they can sell the place and forget this ever happened.

Okay, I see we’re on the same page.

They explore the place and we cut back to Russell as he pisses again. We get a few bits where the music wisely tells us how to feel. Max, the son finds an old wrestling doll and he has a moment with Dad that’s “sweet”.

Dad tells about what the place was like back in the day and we get a flashback. Yes, it is the most kid-ified version of wrestling you will ever see. Max wants to bring the place back to its glory days.

“That bell has rung”

Boo.

Back with our dog, he hears he will be taken to the pound so he decides to make a run for it. The guy says he’s gonna take him to his new home…but it turns out that he said that because some other worker gonna adopted him.

Wah wah.

Meanwhile, our family needs wrestlers so they go to Craiglists. Of course Russell to walk by the place and parks himself in the alley. Then we find out that the place had a little monkey mascot back in the day and he still hangs around, because the little girl finds him.

And we have a monkey because…why not. At least he’s not Adam Sandler this time.

Speaking of which, he can talk to humans because…magic. The girl threatens to tell people about him talking, so but he is able to keep her quiet by joining her in a tea party. Sigh.

“How about two lumps to the head? Please?”

I like him already.

Back in th Alley, Russell faces an evil british dog because god hates me.

“I’ll get Hangry”

Doof came up with that first, you hack Brit.

Thankfully, Hunk the Monkey scares him off. Hunk introduces himself to Russell and they hit off. Later, the wrestling place opens its doors for its first match in years between some guys.

Unsurprisingly, it’s the best part of the movie so far. I mean, it’s between a big guy who was in jail and a surfer dude.

It ends badly so Dad decides to step into the ring. This is going to be amazing. But before anything cool can happen, Russell bumps into the evil British bulldog again. He’s able to defend himself due to having inexplicable skills. He ends up in the arena and is face to face with the big bad guy who is ca big enough idiot/dick to think the dog wants to fight him.

Through some insane luck, the dog ends up taking him down because of a bunch of contrivances. Really, I didn’t expect anything different. When he wakes up, the family is with him and they decided to keep him just like that.

The next day, Russell is an internet sensation because of course he is. Naturally, he’s unaware of his epic skills and Hunk tells him all about it.

“You’re saying I can wrestle?”

I can’t believe it either.

After thinking it over a bit, he signs up with Hunk the monkey as his manager. …Well the rules don’t say a dog can’t wrestle, I guess.

Oh, and you wanna know Hunk’s backstory? He was in a science lab as they were doing experiments to see if Monkey’s can talk. He spoke in English so they captured him but he escaped and befriend a wrestling guy.

…Yeah, that’s about it. No reason for why he can talk.

Speaking of which, he reveals himself to the family. They don’t question it at all and are just surprised to see a monkey.

“Not a phone call, a tweet, an email, an Instagram, nothing?”

Sigh.

Hunk and Dad are reunited and they all introduce themselves. He offers to be Russell’s trainer and they say yes. Seriously a talking monkey asks to be the manager to a wrestling joke and they just…accept it.

Then we get a training montage to an actual orginal-ish song. Wow, didn’t see that coming. Why does this have a better montage song than Cloud 9? Yeah, it’s actually a decent montage. …Yes.

“Russell Mania!”

…You mean madness, right? Like the title says?

So we move on to his first fight, which is against a Mummy guy. I don’t get it either. He kicks his ass.

“Looks like this match is a wrap”

I hate you.

“This is madness!”

“This is Russell Madness”

There we go. Also, roll credits!

After that. They are approached by a a big shot wrestling guy named Mick Vaughn, played by John Ratzenburger. …Super Buddies, now this?!
He’s the villain, because the monkey says so.

The next day, a building inspector drops by and tells them they are not up to code. So instead of simply fixing it themselves, they make a deal with Vaughn to buy the place.

As a villain, he plans to make tons of evil march and stuff. Because money is evil, remember that. With his help, they fix the place up and pass inspection.

After that, Russell gets back to work, fighting people with stupid gimmicks. Then we get a “Becoming famous” montage, full of fake magazine titles and discount versions of talk show hosts.

Dad and Russell are so busying being famous, that of course they are away from the family a lot and even miss Max’s birthday. Wow, that was quick. And this makes Dad forget about the anniversary because…seriously? That cliché?

“Hunk’s been keeping me company”

“TMI”

Later, they start gearing up with a big match against the current champion, and they make a big deal about how this is a David and Goliath situation. One of them is a DOG. It would be this way no matter who you put him with!

The other guy is actually funny, by the way.

To make matters worse, Vaughn wants them to drop the monkey “gimmick” (because he doesn’t hear him talk all the time..).

“Russell is gonna take the belt home tonight, no questions asked”

“What?”

“That’s a question”

Heh.

Vaughn bribes the big guy into taking a dive. Yep, he’s a scumbag villain, what a shock.

So now it’s time for the big fight. Russell does pretty well, but he gets so busy showboating that this gives the big guy time to pull out a dog whistle he happens to have. With that, The Hammer defeats him. No one saw the dog whistle because everyone is blind.

Vaugh chews him out for not throwing the fight. But he turns around when he learns he can charge even more for a re-match. Which means the movie isn’t over yet. Darn.

“All of this was fake?”

Well it is wrestling.

Dad decides he’s done but he can’t really do anything because Vaughn says the dog is his because of legal crap. Naturally everyone is sad and stuff.
With that, Max and Hunk head out to rescue him. …Yeah, I’m in that part where I have nothing to add.

Because this is a dumb movie, it doesn’t take much effort to break in and get Russell. They tell him to stop sulking and get over his loss. Yes, it’s sappy and rushed.

They escape but bump into Vauhgn on their way out. The family also shows up …with the pet store guy. Yeah, he heard about stuff and he’s here to say that Russell belongs to the pet store guy, cuz he adopted him.

Yeah, that makes sense and it’s something Vaughn and the others couldn’t have known about …but we saw earlier that the guy knew about Russell being a wrestler guy. So why didn’t he turn up at any point to get him? He wanted to wait until it was dramatically convenient?

“I’m handing over custody of Russell to the Ferraro family”

So everything’s fine except Vaughn owns the building and they gotta leave.

“We are family, and family …is a verb”

…Not really, but…heh.

They eventually hit a deal: Russell wins a re-match with The Hammer and they get the building. And now we have the most epic climax to a Dog wrestling movie ever!

It has to be a tag team match, which means Dad gets to come out!

“It is Hammer Time”

Ugh.

Also, Max is going in and not Dad. Lame. Wait, is that even legal? There has to be a rule against kids doing this!

Mom sees this and jumps and starts kicking the big guy’s partner’s ass. …Okay, that’s amazing…but she gets pulled away. Aw.

Against all logic, Max defeats him with a groin kick. Oh course. …Wait, what happened to “below the belt”?

Russell is tagged and so is The Hammer. He pulls out the Dog Whistle cuz no one thought to check for it after last time.

Thankfully, Russell is able to get over it and kick his ass. That climax was more enjoyable than it had any right to be. It turns out Russell used ear plugs to stop the noise since he knew he would cheat again.

Yep, the dog was smarter than everyone else…again. So yeah, Russell won and everyone is happy.

“After our big win, The Fearros won back Ferraro Wrestling. –The business was back to its former glory. Russell Maniac and El Maniac became the most famous tag team duo in history, proving that the strongest tag team really is family”

Roll credits.

Yeah, figured it would have an abrupt ending, but it’s still an ending. We’re done, yay!

..Also, that Russel Maniac theme they play in the credits is way too catchy.

Final Thoughts:

For better or worse, that was exactly what I expected. I really can’t say anything you didn’t expect me to say. It has a cliché and lazy story, weak humor, and dull characters. Seriously, what else were you expecting?

It’s bad but in any shocking way. And for its worth, its better than most of the Buddies movies. For one, the lip syncing is actually decent.

I can’t saying too special about the story or character. The story follows every expected beat and the clichés are done in a fairly rushed fashion. The characters are pretty typical, with the main character being more undeveloped than he should be.

Everyone is just there. But to be honest, the acting is okay. No one is amazing but everyone is competent enough for what the movie deserves. I still have no idea what John Ratzenburger was doing in this.

So I really have nothing to add…except one thing. As bad as the movie is…it’s kind of entertaining. You know, in a guilty pleasure kind of way. I mean, it gets so stupid with the concept that you can’t help but enjoy mocking it.

Plus, it does have actually okay moments, mostly with the Monkey, who was the best character. It’s all stupid, but it aside from the piss thing early on, it doesn’t have too many really painful moments.

It’s just the right amount of stupid so you can kind of enjoy it ironically. But mostly if you’re drunk and with your friends. Alone, it’s kind of sad.

And that’s all there is too say. Shortest final thoughts ever. Everything is exactly what you were expected, and its stupidity makes it fun to riff on.

But if you can’t enjoy stuff like this, than yeah, stay away.

Grade: D-

Now to wait for a real Buddies movie.

See ya.

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