Firebreather

Is it hot or not?

Hello, Spongey here.

Cartoon Network has done plenty of interesting things in its 30 year history. One area they’ve had an interesting history with is film. Most movies CN makes are based on their shows while their rivals, such as Nick, do make original TV movies. CN however doesn’t dabble in that too often, in America at least. Some of their international versions have done more. Here in America they hadn’t done a lot. There was Re-Animated but we don’t talk about that.

In 2010, they took a stab at this movie thing again with today’s subject. I remember seeing ads for it but never checked it out. It was meant to launch a series, which didn’t happen, despite decent reviews. It was lost to the sands of time, as it’s not brought up often.

There aren’t that many reviews on YouTube or the like. I was gonna be proud to be one of the first to jump on it in this way but of course someone beat me to it, that being Media Hunter. And this was just a couple weeks ago, it’s like he knew lol. Anyway, I’ve been curious about this movie for ages and wanted to look into it to see how it is.

I have hope that it’ll be decent based on what I heard at least. It’s based on the Image comic character of the same name, created bv Phil Hester and Andy Kuhn. This is easily the biggest exposure that property ever had. Where’s this guy’s blockbuster movie?

The director is Peter Chung, creator of Æon Flux, which is neat. The writer of Jim Krieg, a name you likely recall from my Spooksville post. The one he basically guest starred in. We got some solid talent here. Does it result in a movie worth remembering? Let’s see.

This, is Firebreather

The movie starts with an intro explaining to us this war between humans and Kaiju. Our narrator explains that his mom saved the day and met his dad during this. His dad being one of the monsters. She’s a literal monster fucker, got it. Then it just stops there are we jump into the story proper. We meet our hero Duncan. He’s 16 and being half dragon means he has orange skin, and eats coal. Typical teen problems.

He’s worried about school and Mom, voiced by Dana Delaney, assures him he’ll be fine. So I guess they are just using the old “skin condition” excuse but it still feels cruel to send him to school looking like that. He leaves and we get POV stuff like it’s a video game. At school Duncan meets the love interest Jenna, and of course it’s in that awkward bump into way that only happens in movies.

They hit it off okay but of course there’s a bully, voiced by Josh Keaton, who wants her too. At his first class he meets this boy Kenny, voiced by Dante Basco who is basically just Zuko. While Jenna rants about frog dissection, Duncan notices one frog get up and is actually quite Kaiju like. I won’t even try to lead into what happens next:

“Oh no, they’re waterboarding Kermit!”

They actually made me cackle hard, holy crap. It’s just the way he randomly screams it. He tries to wrangle the frog monster thing and of course he just makes a fool of himself. This subtracts points with Jenna. Later, a girl from class named Isabel takes notice of his odd nature, including his 50 last names that are references to Kaiju. She’s into that stuff, which Kenny pops up to talk about further.

Duncan shows her the frog, which she says is a Gomorradon. He’s found a cool girl who is fine with all this, good for him. That scene just sort of ends as we move on to gym class the next day. Duncan talks to the coach who as it turns out is some guy he knows who is using the coach as a cover. Guess he’s a “M.E.G.T.A.F. agent” according to Wikipedia but we don’t explain that now.

Instead, we got a dodgeball game where Duncan protest Kenny from the bully, Troy and his gang. Turns out being kaiju makes you good at owning bullies in dodgeball, good to know. In the locker room,. Troy doesn’t take that lying down and approaches Duncan.

“Traditionally, this is where I hand you your meat”

That sounds like a sex thing.

They give chase and Duncan does all these cool moves and such. After a bit of that, the dude suddenly breathes fire as the coach pops up to end this, shooing the bully away. But first:

“The dude breathed fire, man!”

He’s like some kind of fire…exhale-er.

The coach takes him to some base out in the desert where he is looked over by Dr. Pytel, voiced by Nicole Sullivan. This power just showed up today as part of monster puberty I guess and now he must avoid showing it off. It’s still not quite explained what this MEGTAF stuff is. Pytel assures coach Duncan is a nice boy and not a threat.

“He’s not a pandemic”

No comment.

Mom shows up, wanting to know why he was brought here. We see there’s a bit of history between these people but still not much info. Things get smoothed over and we move on, as the coach explains that the fire was just a magic trick.

“What a load of bullcrap!”

Whoa, edgy.

The principal sees them both at fault so they must clean up their mess. While doing that, Isabel tells him about a party at some kids house that everyone is gonna show up to. This includes Jenna so perhaps he can fix things on that front. That night he sneaks out to go to it but while he’s caught, Mom is actually cool with it. Huh, refreshing.

At the party, he talks to Jenna who is going through something. The money she raised for Homecoming has vanished, so she’s in trouble. There was a quick scene where we see Troy take it, which ruins a bit of suspense but okay. Troy shows up to get mad at her for talking to Duncan as she was actually his ex, no shock there.

But then Troy’s dad appears, as he is grounded. You can’t see it but he’s scarier than whoever the villain will end up being. Then that frog thing shows up because now it’s a party! It’s not alone as this time there are more and they’re master is here in the form of this big monster. Finally, a big threat. Duncan reveals that this is not only the King of the Kaiju but also…his father.

Dun dun dun. Didn’t know we’d get a Darth Vader thing going. His name is Belloc and he takes the boy. He takes him to this Kaiju liar, which is a place with a bunch of crystals, which he says is his new home. He wants the kid to be the next King of Kaiju, even if the human world has made him soft. He presents him to these other monsters who aren’t happy. We’ve moved to this hell like environment that sort of gives me Spawn movie vibes, only the CGI is better, but I’ll go into the animation at the end.

Duncan is thrown into a lava pit and comes out in this new Kaiju form but then he faints and wakes up in the desert. A lot just happened there, gives us some time to process that, geez. He ends up at Kenny’s trailer which happens to in this area and he’s cool about all this, Isabel gives him the low down. After a bit of that, Duncan goes home where Mom is distraught over everything going on.

She gets upset when Duncan calls dad a figurative monster, as he doesn’t know what he’s been through and the good things he’s done. I know not every can accept that their one night stand was a mistake but come on.

“Am I human, or am I a Kaiju?”

…Kaiman?

“Now that you’ve seen your father, you probably have questions about how you were conceived”

Perfect Family Entertainment!

With that pleasant moment done, Duncan goes to school the next day where he is now hailed as a hero. Isabel told them he saved them which is sort of true and so now everyone likes him. Except Troy of course. Duncan sees Jenna and remembers that plot point with homecoming. So he sends her this red jewel he snagged from Balroc’s place so she can sell it and pay for homecoming. I think the note that comes with is anonymous but Duncan being the savior now means she talks to him later anyway.

He asks her to the dance, she says yes, woo hoo. We see Isabel trying to approach him before this happens, because yes we are doing that. Yay. After school, the coach guy flies him over the desert to help find Balroc’s liar. He’s a dick about cuz he’s now like that suddenly. They are then attacked by a Kaiju, so I guess they’re close enough.

Balroc appears and says this is a test. Duncan fights them off with his powers and is able to hold his own. He almost kills one but opts out which is good as Blitz shows up with reinforcements to shoot it down anyway. They try to take down Balroc which Duncan doesn’t want despite…everything. I don’t buy what Mom says without any exposition, sorry.

Speaking of, she shows up and also Balroc backs down. Then we cut to that night as Duncan gets ready for Homecoming. I guess there was nothing important that needed to be addressed, clearly. He picks up Jenna, with his pals Kenny and Isabel there as well. Are we making this a foursome?

At the dancing, the Homecoming King and Queen are announced to be Troy and Jenna. Duncan is actually okay with it so he dances with Isabel. Kenny then gets super mad as says she is with him. There was hints of this back at Kenny’s trailer but it still feels weird and out of nowhere.

“Are you mental?”

“No, I’m human. Unlike some people around here”

Come on man, you know what it’s like to be a part dragon person. ..Wow, how did it take me that long to make that joke? He says Isabel only likes him because Belroc is his father which Jenna hears. That’s a turn off for her. Duncan storms off, just as a couple tiny Kaiju appear. Then a big one shows up. Can dances ever go right in these things?>

There’s a big action scene with Duncan fighting them off. He takes this fight out to the desert as Mom (who was here as a chaperone) hops in a plane to go off and help. Jenny comes along too. They visit Balroc who reveals he didn’t send those monsters and they just happen to want some Duncan meat. He let the humans take him before so can be closer to Duncan and protect him.

So he’s suddenly a good guy now. Mom’s talk back there was the only hint of this until we’re just now doing it. I like the idea of him being more complex but it’s done in a weird way. He breaks out to stop the others. Coach Blitz is here and attacks Duncan, now seeing him as this evil threat and that is interrupted by the monsters attacking. So much is happening at once, geez.

Duncan grows wings while saving the coach, so that’s a thing now. There’s a big scene with Balroc helping out, as Duncan wants a better way to deal with the monsters than killing them. His solution is to cause an avalanche at a nearby mountain which covers the monsters in snow, freezing them. Sure, why not.

Balroc and Duncan survive. Seeing Jenna here reminds me she did nothing even though she was brought here instead of Kenny and Isabel for some reason. That’s it for the climax, now for the cooldown. Balroc is impressed and plans to stay captured so he can be close to Duncan. He and Jenna have a moment to remind you she exists.

As Blitz takes care of things, Duncan flies off to home. The End. Wait, it just…stops. We get no resolution for the stuff with the friends. This does reek of “see you in the TV show that will totally happen” but it still could have resolved a bit more. Ah well, it is what it is.

Final Thoughts:

This was fine. I don’t think it’s anything too special and it has some issues, but I liked it okay overall. The concepts are hardly new, with this not-normal kid trying to do normal things and so on. But they do work alright, with Duncan being mostly a likable enough lead. The best stuff comes with Balroc in the middle. Still not super fresh, but their interactions were enjoyable.

The reveal of him being his father was unexpected in context, even with it being cliche in its ow way. As you can tell, this is mainly a fine take on tings we’ve seen before. I like the Kaiju focus, and it leads to some fun fights. The animation is mostly decent. The model can feel plastic-y, as you’d expect for a TV budget. But for that budget, it is done decently with again some solid action moments. They try some neat things with the direction early on, with a couple bits that show the director’s influence.

I don’t even mind most tof the high school stuff., mostly. It’s biggest crime in the first half is just a sense of geneirc-ness, not doing too much new or anything like that. It still did it fine though. More flaws do stack up by the end though. I liked the friends at first, with Isabel’s Kaiju fixation. But the whole love…square I guess feeling out of nowhere and not fleshed out. Then it’s given no resolution despite that whole dance scene dedicated to it.

Balroc being more complicated is a good idea, but it feels rushed with him just changing to the good side on a dime. It’s weird, the story is at least told competently for most of it but at the end suddenly all this stuff comes crashing together. Having the big bad being these two random monsters wasn’t my favorite either but it’s not a big deal.

It’s a bit of a mixed bag. It can be generic with a third act that rushes things, leaving some things unresolved. But there are some compelling things done with the idea, the animation is generally decent, and there’s not too much hugely wrong for most of it. I would have liked to see a follow up to dive more into these ideas but I doubt we’ll see more 13 years down the line.

It’s not the most memorable thing ever, but it had potential. As it is, it’s a flawed movie that has enough to make it decent enough. I wish it got less clunky near the end but ah well. As a whole, Firebreather is an interesting note in CN’s history. I sort of see why it i isn’t brought up a lot, but for a one time viewing, it was alright.

Rating: Decent

It was nice to review something I could at least be mildly positive on this year. August will be spent on other stuff so next time will be in September for the brother birthday review. We’ll see where that takes us this year.

See ya.