Top 5 Best & Worst Films I Reviewed in 2012 and 2013

Hello, Spongey here.

Well, I suppose it’s finally time to build up hype for my final weekly review for a while, coming this June. I’ll be sure to hype it up as much as possible, because that always turns out well, right?

It was that or a joke about all the shows that ended last year and are ending this year. Anyway, I mentioned my Retrospectives, but there’s something else I need to do. See, I did a list of the best and worst films I reviewed in 2014.

I did it for fun, but I’ve always wanted to list the greatest and worst films I’ve had to sit through on here, but never got around to doing the overall list. Since then, I’ve become a bit more positive, and no longer feel the need to go that deep into dwelling on terrible things.

Hell, in 2015 I didn’t do enough for a worst list, so I skipped it and did the Retrospective instead. Now I’m feeling reflective and those bad memories of the stinkers are coming back. But I also happen to look back on the good stuff too.

With my final reviews coming up, I wanted to look at the best and worst stuff I reviewed overall. But….honestly only one or two things from 2014 would be on the worst list, and the gems from 2014 would take up a lot of the best list.

Plus, I don’t have enough to say on each side for a top 11 on both. So I decided to keep to a promise I made in 2014. I said I would so similar lists for 2012 and 2013, but after looking the list….there wasn’t enough for a top 5 best in both separate years.

Yeah, I wasn’t as positive back then. This makes that plan hard, so screw it, we’ll COMBINE them . I’ll list the best gems and worst turds from both combined years. At the end I’ll post my combined list.

That sound good? I had no idea how to really say all of what I said, but in short we’re doing what the title says. It will work the same way as the 2014, so go back to that if you’re lost.

2012 and 2013 were my starter years, so I experiment a lot with the type of things I reviewed. I also wanted to be like every online reviewer, so I did way more bad movies than good despite wanting a balance.

I got better at that, but that means there’s plenty of materiel for one list. Despite that, there’s enough gems to go over as well. Let’s see which turds stink the most, and which gems shine brighter.

This, is Top 5 Best and Worst Films I reviewed in 2012 and 2013

(Sorry if the intro is clunky, it was hard to really say what I had to…and it’s late because all online reviewers are nocturnal)

Let’s just get the….not so good ones out of the way first, again.

WORST:

Well, that put me 90 minutes closer to death”-Grunkle Stan

Oh boy, this list was way easier to do than the other one, to an extent. It was easy to tell which films pissed me off the most, but the hard part was kicking out some films I wanted to give another kick in the teeth.

That’s why I’m doing the retrospectives, so I’ll go into details on my Honorable Mentions then. I reviewed tons of crap in 2012 especially, to the point where one of these years has my most hated film I’ve reviewed.

Oh yeah, this is gonna be fun. Let’s do this!

  1. The Cat in the Hat

I keep saying the first spot on every list ever changes, and this is another classic case. For the longest time, Movie 43 (and Inappropriate Comedy, in a tie) had this spot, with this as my main honorable mention.

My relationship with this one has changed, but as of now I’ve decided to put at this spot. I’ll explain why I have this above 43 as I explain the issues with this….thing.

I’ve seen plenty of soulless cooperate cash grabs masquerading as adaptions of popular books or shows. But even some of the most hated had SOME care put into the witting somewhere. A minor place where it felt like the studio or director was trying to engange the audience in spite how different the film is from it’s source.

This has NONE of that, at least to me. Take every problem with The Grinch and The Lorax, and take out anything good in them and even that would be better. I hated this one as much as anyone did back when I reviewed, but sometime around when Nostalgia Critic covered it, my hate kind of lessened.

After some of the stuff done in that video, I started to feel kind of sorry for it. But eventually I got over it, and after their Real Thoughts video, I was reminded of how bad it was. Don’t worry, I’m still looking as objectively as terrible…and it’s still terrible.

It’s one of those movies I can barely say anything good about. I can’t even say it has good intentions, as every attempt at heart is small and doesn’t come across as genuine. It’s so cooperate in every sense of the word.

Kids love smart talking jackasses, make The Cat one of those. They love those dirty jokes, gotta have those. This book has barely any plot, so instead of trying to do something creative or fun, let’s fill it in with tons of subplots to make the movie look seem more complex than it actually is!

Okay, let’s be a bit calmer. While the book didn’t exactly have an epic plot, there are some creative ways to take the story when you think about it. If you use your imagination, you can make a film out of the character himself to explore him in a clever while staying true to story.

But these filmmakers didn’t think at all and just fill it with subplots and pointless scenes. In the end nothing matters except for the general concepts and the ending. Even when it reacts the story, it’s still very half assed and fails to deliver to the moral properly. Mostly due to how the cat is written, which brings us to the real problems.

While the other Dr. Seuss movies have their share of inappropriate jokes, there weren’t that many and the rest of their run times had some level of care and effort and heart. Here, almost every joke is bad for any kid’s movie, much less a Dr. Suess movie.

The amount of dirty jokes is insane, and none of them are funny. The icing on the cake is the Cat himself. I can’t blame Mike Meyers too much because no one could pull off this script, or that makeup. I blame the writers for making him one of the most unlikable charecters in all of media.

He’s supposed to be a bit of a troublemaker, but in the original he was actually likable and at least tried to do good in the end. Here, he’s incredibly annoying and just an all around horrible person. Even in the end they put in too many bad jokes for him to be likable.

This guy is pretty much the mascot for Dr. Seuss to an extent, so why is so unlikable? Oh yeah, they made The Grinch a celebrity in make up who cracks jokes, so let’s do it again! Look, that still fit that character and he was trying a lot harder in the end.

This whole movie just fells studio driven with it’s attempts to put in what they think kids like, without thinking about why they liked it in the first place. Even the attempts at heart just don’t work.

That’s what makes this one worthy of the list, just how cynical it all is. The fact that it’s incredibly annoying just makes it even worse. Now let me try to say something positive about this movie.

Hm…uh…well there were a few decent jokes….like the pop song line for example. But even those jokes don’t belong here. That’s about it. The acting is often waaaaaaay too over the top or too dull, most of the jokes are awful, there’s barely a story, and the whole point of the story it’s based on is lost and the attempts at mocking product placement just falls flat so hard.

Every time someone rants on The Lorax, I want to force them to watch this again just to remind what true horror is. It’s…bad, let’s put it that way. And it’s only number 5, god help me.

That’s all I got. Needless to say, this is the single worst thing I covered in a Toon’d out Month.

  1. 30 Nights of Paranormal Activity with the Devil Inside the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

…Yeah, I can skip this one because I explained it already. When I went into 41 Year old Virgin, I explained this one as well as the problems are the same. That one differs slightly but if I explained this one, I would be making the same point.

It’s a bad parody movie that fails to spoof it’s targets and has a ton of tasteless jokes, and the script makes no sense even in the context of the film. There, that’s all I got for this one. Sorry I keep failing to give you a wrap up on this one but there’s not much more to say.

Don’t worry, our top 3 gives me so much to say, I think it’ll make up for it.

  1. Jack and Jill/Going Overboard

We want to like Sandler’s work and when we find it’s not only bad, but uncaringly bad, we wonder why no body’s waking up after all these bombs and saying let’s try something different….Come back!”-Nostalgia Critic

Oh yeah, it’s a tie and one of them is a film that has been haunting from the longest time. These films are so equally horrible that I had to put them in the same slot. Let’s go over Jack and Jill first.

Man, this movie is…something. Honestly, I technically hate it less now, because I’ve taken the piss out of so much that it’s more of a punchline than something I actually hate. But my god is it still technically terrible on all fronts.

This is the film that pretty much ruined Sandler for everyone. Before this you can say he was “mixed” but this one made everyone hate him to the point people would dismiss anything he makes, even if it looks okay. And if it’s not good, it’s somehow way worse than it is because he’s in it.

But we’ll go into that in the Sandler month part of the 2012 Retrospective. Despite that, I think he earns all the scorn for this. This movie is just an embrassment for everyone involved. The basic concept of Sandler as annoying woman is just beyond stupid.

But even the basic story is bad when you look at it. It’s yet another Screw up story where someone acts like a jackass and we’re supposed to feel sorry for them somehow. This case makes it worse by having Jack be an asshole to, so we can’t really like him either.

Everything is so forced too, and it doesn’t really feel genuine to me. Even beyond the whole Sandler is a woman thing, the script is just poor as it goes from having nothing happen, to having too many things happen.

The only inspired idea is arguably the Al Pacino stuff but it’s not used well. And of course most of the jokes are just lazy and not much of it is amusing. This movie is just paethic all the way through with the concept alone.

Every Sandler film that came before this had a tiny bit more dignity than this, seriously. His worst films tended to give him an annoying voice, but usually they were the main character so the film wanting us to like him wasn’t too strange.

But here he plays a character the actual main character is annoyed by and we are given tons of reason to hate her. She just doesn’t seem like the best person and the parts where we are supposed to like her feel so forced, as I said.

There is a good reason this suck Sandler’s reputation, as even by his standards, it’s an unfunny mess. But like I said, I’m not as angry at it because I got all of it out after the review. That and the nature of it has turned it into a thing to be studied rather an actual film to angry at.

I almost feel kind of sorry for it, but maybe that’s because of what it did to Sandler’s rep afterward. That and while it’s his most embarrassing film, I’d say something like Chuck and Larry pisses me off more. The embarrassment is why I see this has his worst film, because every aspect of it is just so pathetic.

As for positives Al Pacino does do okay and get a few decent lines, and as bad as Sandler as Jill is, the effects for putting them on screen together are pretty good. Otherwise, this movie still sucks the big one, even if I’m not angry at it anymore.

There’s one thing about the movie I forgot to mention in the review: How I found out about it. See, there was an episode of South Park where Stan starts to get jaded and see everything as liteal shit, and tht included a little bit where they make fun of Jack and Jill.

…Except pretty much everyone who saw it, including me thought they were making it up as this was a while before the film came out. Imagine my surprise when I found out it was real.

I thought I would share that to show that this movie is bad that I genuinely thought it was a joke. Yikes.

Now onto Going Overboard. I should give it slack to being a very low budget Comedy and while that does make it more excusable than Jack and Jill, it doesn’t excuse it from being this awful.

As of this writing, it is STILL on the IMDB bottom 100 at 17, making it “better” than Disaster Movie, Baby Genius 2 and Saving Christmas. Even though it’s worse than all 3 of those. Oh yeah, I went there.

Even if you have no budget, you should still give it your best, but this movie doesn’t even seem to care that it sucks so bad. I’ve seen very low budget films that are good because the director actually has talent and the writers still manage a passable script.

It can’t decide it wants to be a real movie or a big 4th wall breaking fest, so as result it’s confusing and nonsensical.

Most of the actual jokes are lazy and lowbrow anyway, so I suspect the 4th wall jokes are just them thinking if they point out their flaws, they go away. I can really only critique as a comedy since the film has decided to not try when it comes to the story.

But it still needs it’s own logic which this movie doesn’t have, it’s just unfunny nonsense. If the actors had any charm this wouldn’t be so bad, but Sandler is clearly new to this and everyone is just over the top annoying.

While it’s not this movies own fault, I find it strange how it seems to bash vulgar comedians and has Sandler’s character scoff at incest jokes, considering Sandler later made Incest Joke: The Movie.

Budget can excuse a lot but it can’t excuse a script, because it takes no budget to just write down something. I’ve read fanfic with more solid writing than this. But it’s clear this had no script and was just an excuse for a bunch of nonsense.

This film just plain annoying most of the time with everyone mugging and the constant 4th wall jokes and pointless scenes. It’s okay to make no sense, but please try to be funny. This movie

uses it’s budget as an excuse to lazy as all hell, and that’s just stupid.

All of this stuff honestly makes it the hardest Sandler film to get through, since there’s no lull in the annoying this time. It’s even worse written. The only reason I tied it with Jack & Jill is because…well he was still starting out and I’ve seen films just as bad on bigger budgets.

So I can excuse it slightly, but it’s still a terrible movie. Are there any positives? …Uh, the concept of celebrating old fashioned Comedy is okay, and one or two lines come close to funny. …That’s about it.

Overall, both of these movies represents the worst of Adam Sandler. One shows his horrible beginnings, and one shows he’s just given up. Hopefully he’ll get better at some point but even if he does, these legendary turds will still exist.

  1. Fred: The Movie

Oh boy, another old nemesis of mine. Unlike Jack & Jill, I am still mad at it for being as horrible as it is. At one point this was one spot lower with that tie being in this spot. Mostly because I wanted to be easy on this one since it is a TV movie, while you had to pay for Jack & Jill upon release.

But I realized that not only is Fred worse, but it doesn’t deserve much slack. Because most TV movies I review tend to feel like actual movies with plots. This movie did not have to be as terrible as it is, as Fred 2 proved you can make a simply dormice Fred movie.

There’s no excuse for this movie to be this terrible. The fact that the 2nd movie is just meh kind of makes this one worse. That one managed to put Fred in a semi coherent plot. It’s still not a good movie at all, but it’s closer to what the first one should have been.

I know you want to sort of introduce Fred’s “world” or something, but you can still have a plot. There’s a difference between having a loose plot and having Fred just run around doing nothing for no reason.

When it does bother to have any kind of story, it’s very poorly done. The part where it tries to get some emotion out of you is beyond insulting. It even fails as an adaption as one of the more important parts of the series, Judy hating Fred, is ignored to do a generic-ish story.

What is with these YouTube movies and ignore some of the more important aspects of their stars? Although this one sticking to the main shtick is actually a big problem. Fred just barely works as a 3 to 5 minute video, who the hell wants that for at least 90 minutes?

That’s pretty much the biggest problem. A kid screaming random shit for 3 minutes is fine but it just doesn’t work as a full movie unless you try to write a story. That’s why a Fred just can’t work, even if you do attach a plot to it. This movie still could have at least tried, but it doesn’t. The humor is incredibly immature and even offensive at times.

Adult jokes are fine but some of these are just…bad. The pointless scenes don’t help either as it’s just filled with filler. Most of the movie just a bit shit happening for no reason and when things happening, it’s so stupid.

It doesn’t help that Fred is so unlikable here. He’s pretty much a whiny jerk that is hard to like, making that “Sweet” moment even worse. He wasn’t exactly a saint before but he’s even worse here.

His voice is just the icing on the world’s most annoying cake. This movie is just horribly annoying all the way through, with the bad jokes, the pointless moments and lack of plot. If I had to stretch for positives, I’d say Fred’s Mom and Jenette McCurdy do okay jobs and John Cena’s scenes come close to funny.

That’s about it. A movie this bad shouldn’t even exist. At least Genie in a Bikini felt like an actual story, even if it was rushed. This is pretty much nothing but pure annoyance. And it only exists as a soulless cash grab, no other reason.

All of this is why this is this high on the list. It barely anything good and the bad stuff is beyond terrible. Most bad TV movies are just simply bad movies, but this is among the most terrible things to grace the film world at all.

And yet it did well enough to 2 sequels and a TV Show. Now to be fair, the sequels were improvements but anything is better than this. The Tv Show was bad, but at least it was the format that fit Fred.

I couldn’t really hate the show because I burned out after the movies. The show was just bad compared to the awful-ness of this movie. Marvin Marvin was worse anyway.

What more is there to say, really? This movie is a failure in every way. The main character is unlikable, the jokes are bad, it’s annoying and pretty much as no plot. They barely even tried to make a movie and instead instead made a bunch of crap.

If you ask me, this is the biggest low point in Nick’s history and that’s saying a lot. …It’s pretty bad.

Naturally, before we get to number one, I have a few (Dis)Honorable Mentions:

Grown Ups: It’s not a movie, it’s Adam Sandler and his buddies giving a screw you to the audience and having a vacation for 90 or so minutes. The sequel was the same only more so.

Son of the Mask: A somewhat okay idea ruined by execution that makes it hard for anyone to like at all.

Bratz: There’s nothing wrong with a fun tween pandering movie, as long as the characters try to be likable, you stay culturally sensitive, and have a script that at least makes sense on some level with a solid structure. This movie doesn’t do any of that.

:

Movie 43/Inappropriate Comedy: Despite popular belief, I love shock humor when it’s done right. Too bad it’s not done right in their of these movies.

The Hottie and the Nottie: It’s repetitive and sexist. I have more to say but I’ll say that in the 2012 Retrospective.

And the single worst movie I reviewed in 2012 and 2013 is…

  1. A Serbian Film

The hardest things to watch are the exploitation films that don’t know that they’re being silly, they think that they are making art”-Nostalgia Critic

…Yeah, this might be a big shock if you remember my review. This is the only film I did not give a grade to due it’s very nature and how I felt about it. There’s really no other film that could have the top spot here.

I suppose it’s good I get to talk about it again because I do want to clarify some things. This isn’t objectively the worst, as it at least has a plot to an extent, passable acting, and is competently directed for the most part.

My hatred for this movie is all personal. I’ll admit up front that it just happens to to hit my buttons. It does have some of my “triggers” and I hate when movies like this try to do these horrible things under the guise of “Saying something” when they are in fact saying nothing.

Although it does seem to at least WANT to say something, which I guess makes it better than Where the Dead go to Die.

But seriously, if they wanted to make a movie about the Serbian government or whatever, they should have done that instead of…this. What will you remember more, the message or the baby fucking?

That’s the problem of mixing shock with a message, people are more likely to remember the shock which will make your message pointless. And if you clearly more effort into the shock than anything else, it will make it even worse.

I heard the argument that I shouldn’t react like this because it’s not a real baby. That’s some faulty logic for this reason: That’s like saying no one can complain about the characters in a movie unlikable because they “aren’t real”.

Yeah, none of this is real but it doesn’t make it any better. Bad characters are still bad characters and newborn porn is still newborn porn. Yes, Vukmir is clearly a bad guy for doin this but the filmmakers are bad for going out of their way to show it for no other reason to shock us.

Some things work better when left to our imagination. It would still be a messed up idea but at least it would obey the rules of film making a bit more. And even taking that aside, I still think the film fails.

What’s the story? A porn guy is out of work, signs up with this guy, turns out he’s messed up, guy runs away, bad shit happens, he kills himself, the end. What a riveting story. Barely anything happens in a lot of what, and some of it is clearly filler too.

I suppose there are interesting idea here, but it’s lost in the sluggish pacing and shock attempts. If shock doesn’t bother you, it’ll still be kind of dull and not really interesting enough as a story.

The movie also has a case of Darkness Induced Audience Apathy, as I really only care for this kind of bland main character because this horrible stuff is happening to him. But eventually it gets so dark I kind of stop caring.

One thing i’ll give it that if it’s technically a horror movie, than damn does it work. It’s certainly suspenseful and scary some of the time. Although even then it relies a bit too much on shock at some point.

I do hate it tries to pass off a lot of filth as a serious message. There is something there I guess but it got lost, to say the least. It’s like handing me a really filthy plate with just a small speck of good on it, and telling me it’s a full meal.

I also believe the baby line should pretty never be crossed. You can call that my ‘trigger’ I guess, abuse to children. I rarely find it funny and it’s certainty not ethical to have it happen unless it furthers the story in any way.

It doesn’t here, for reason explained. It’s kind of like shock in general: If it’s only there to shock and barely have a reason to be there, then it won’t work. Especially if it’s crossing a line.

By objective, worse films exist but I don’t hate any other ones more this one. It crosses more than a few lines, than claims to say it’s saying something deep, That’s just….ugh. Like I said, any message there is is lost with the bad writing.

It represents a lot of what personally pisses me off in some movies. If it doesn’t’ bother you, then fine. I’ll try not to judge you. If you want a more balanced look at it, there’s always Brows Held High’s review of it.

But for me, with it’s newborn porn, boring scenes and pretentious-ness, it is not only the worst film I reviewed in 2012 and 2013, but it’s the worst film I’ve reviewed so far. Period.

But hey, we still have a few months to top it. For now, those were the worst from those years. As for the overall list….it’s honestly the same, just replace 30 nights with 41 year old virgin. I’ve listened up on stuff like Tim & Erc so it wouldn’t be in the top and you know how nothing in 2015 would be there. I suppose the rest of the full Top 11 would go like this:

11. Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie

10. Bratz

9. Grown Ups 1 & 2

8. Son of the Mask

7. The Hottie and the Nottie

  1. Movie 43/Inappropriate Comedy

It’s not set in the stone like the top 5, though.

But enough of that, let’s wash our hands and move on the better stuff.

BEST:

This one is a bit harder in some ways. I didn’t do quite as many great films back then for various reasons. And even then I didn’t do a lot of flat out great ones like I did in 2014. As a result, it’s harder to count down the best like with the worst, as only a handful got an A.

But I think I did enough good ones to do a list, and the good ones I did cover are still very solid. Now, don’t expect anything great with my explanations. Some of these I don’t have much extra to mention and I didn’t have enough time to re-watch all of these for the list.

But I’ll do the best I can. Let’s look at the greatest gems I covered back then.

  1. Smart House

Yeah, you know the pickings were slim when we begin with a Disney Channel movie. Now, I’ve reviewed better films than this even back then but with what it does, I really wanted it here.

Granted, a tiny bit is nostalgia as a loved it as a kid for the same reasons I love it now. But I do think it holds up with some interesting themes for an older Disney Channel movie. I made a lot of jokes about how creepy this one can be, but I actually think it works.

Pat is supposed to be unsettling at various moments, so it matches the story perfectly. Although some bits are still kind of weird. It’s mostly creepy for the right reasons. While they do play up the premise for comedy, they also give it the weight it needs in some places.

The basic idea is about an AI that becomes more self aware and turns into an overbearing mother figure. It ends up going into what a real mother is as well as a bit into how no technically can replace human connection.

Doesn’t that sound like something a real movie would do? It has comedy but as the film progress, it gets more emotional and serious. The main arc with Ben is pretty solid too as he feels like he’s holding the family up as he deals with the death of his mother.

A lot of is cliché but some of it has twists that make a lot more interesting and human. Speaking of flaws, it can be kind of cheesy sometimes with the bully and the final shot, which is right out of an 80’s sitcom.

But even that stuff kind of adds to the charm, especially near the end. The emotion really drives this one home, especially compared to how force some other DCOM’s could be in this department.

It works because the writing is strong and makes you mostly care about the characters. But honestly, a lot of is due to Katey Segal’s performance as Pat. She is fantastic in this movie, being able to switch between emotionless, loving, stern, and crazy while nailing all of them perfectly.

When she’s just being a smart house at the start, you buy it. When she’s loving, she’s very likable. And when she’s stern and later scary, man does she pull it off. If she wasn’t as good as she was, a lot of these scenes would more awkward than funny or touching.

This movie strikes a good balance of DCOM cheese and being a solidly written script. It’s not perfect, but I struck a good connection with it with all the things it does. This is one Disney Channel movie that worth a watch no matter who you are, be it for the drama or even the scary parts.

Someone left a comment on the review saying they have no seen, but will not after reading it. That really warms my heart because sometimes I feel I’m not making a difference compared to other reviewers due to my format, but it looks like I actually did get someone to check out something I recommended.

Just wanted to mention that. Overall, with it’s themes, horror and drama, this is a solid DCOM that still holds up in my opinion.

Oh, and I get the Rat Butler joke now.

  1. A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas

Ah yes, the film that I declared to be the best Christmas movie since Die Hard. I’ve said that I have a soft spot for these kind of Comedies, and the Harold and Kumar films sum up why that is.

I’ve reviewed quite a few bad raunchy comedies such as 21 & Over and Miss March. And at first I wasn’t sure what the difference between movies like that and these movies, besides the obvious answer of them just being as funny.

But I realize the reason has to do with the characters. In movies like that, the main characters are usually either incredibly boring or insufferable assholes. Characters like Drunk Friend and the hell spawn that shall not be named have no charm to their antics at all and have no reason to do what they do and don’t develop at all in a natural way.

They are jerks, until they aren’t. And even then they still act the same way so that their problems are not fixed. What’s worse is their foil tends to be too dull and forgettable, just to offset their antics.

There is no heart to those characters, just ways to put as many dicks jokes as you can. Compare this to Harold and Kumar. Harold is a good straight man, being memorable due to his reactions and he’s a bit of a strange streak too, meaning we can buy their friendship a lot more in all three movies, for the most part.

Kumar might be kind of a dick but he has a heart and clearly learns his lesson, and they infuse with him plenty of charm. Not to mention they call him out and try to fix his problems, making it the point of the movie.

Granted, part 3 kind of reverses what he learned in the end of part 2 but that gives us his best development yet, so it’s okay. Speaking of heart, that is what so many of these movies lack. It feels like an excuse to have a lot of dirty jokes with a half baked story put on there to fool you into thinking it’s an actual movie.

The heart those movies attempted is just poorly written or contrasted too much with the humor. These movies hit that balance so much better. The heart works BECAUSE of the humor. It helps you get a connection with these characters, so you care about them when the story kicks in.

Not every beat works but the writing manages to decently sweet while also being off the wall and funny. There’s also a lot more creativity in each film vs the half assed stuff we’ve seen in other attempts.

Again, these movies are far form perfect but you can tell they had a good heart among all the dick and weed jokes. You just don’t didn’t get that as much some other movies. This third chapter really sums up all of this.

It’s a lot of fun with it;’s simple premise, leading to a lot of creative scenes and jokes. They aren’t all just characters spouting we swears, we have a baby getting high, satire of 3D, and a Claymation chase scene.

They put effort into a lot of these jokes, making it a blast to watch. But of course it also has a lot of heart and even some Christmas cheer in there. Kumar’s development is fully realized here and their friendship is stronger than ever.

That balance is hard to tackle because you do want the characters to be together, while also having each both grow and stay the same. Let’s compare this to something I recently did: Smosh the movie.

The “funny” jerk learns absolutely nothing despite being a jerk and we have no idea why they are even friends with little to no development, it all being rushed. The boring one learns something but it’s so obvious that the other guy has problems that it’s so lame when it’s ignore.

Here, both clearly learn something with their connection being fully realized. It would have been easy for us to not see why they are friends but we see they get along fine despite their difference.

It makes everything even better. They stumbled a bit in some parts of the other films but it’s perfected here. All the elements that made the series good are present here, while also being a really solid stand alone comedy.

It’s rare that I review a good comedy since there’s only so many ways you can say something is funny but I was feeling generous that year and I had stuff to say, even now.

With a ton of creativity, funny jokes, and even solid heart and Christmas cheer, this is one trilogy ending that is completely satisfying. while also deserving of a being a modern Christmas classic.

  1. Phineas and Ferb Across the 2nd Dimension

More proof I had some slim pickings, but honestly even if I had better choices, this would still be on the list. I’ve gone on about what this ended up meaning to me, so it makes sense that it’s movie would be on here.

Plus, I couldn’t put on my list due to it being a movie and I think I can say more. As a film on it’s own, it’s decently solid with nice twists in the story and great emotion and an awesome soundtrack.

But it’s even better as a Phineas and Ferb product. It has everything you need for a great P&F story, from the intelligent jokes to the complex characters. The high points are so high that if I could put it on my episode, it would be number 3.

One thing I really like is how they handle the other dimension. Instead of just being evil like in other stories, it’s more an alternate timeline, basically showing what would happen if was actually competent from the start and took over.

It gives us an interesting angle and a lot of interesting concepts come from this. Of course the real meat here is how Phineas and Candace are developed here. While the Perry plot does kind of have some cliches, it works because of the heart and how likable the characters are.

Although you gotta love how Phineas did what Perry did back in The Beak yet is mad when he does it. We get some pretty heartwarming moments out of this, especially the ending. Speaking of, I still really like how they handle the ending.

It erases their memory while still reminded us that Perry remembers. It shows that this did have an impact instead of just being pointless. Then we have Candace, who really has the best bits.

Candace-2 might be the best character in the movie, as she all the interesting baggage, being forced to grow up fast due to all of this. It’s incredibly interesting and leads to some really interesting developing. Her being a badass doesn’t hurt either.

The soundtrack also deserves a special mention, because all of the major songs are in my top 100, with 2 technically in the top 10, even if they are tied. This might have the best songs of any P&F special.

The whole thing is just a ton of fun with a pretty good story with great character development as well. Any flaws are forgiven due to how good the great parts are in the end. You will have more problem if you view at a movie but for a TV Movie, it’s rather exceptional.

It really does sum everything the show was about: Catchy songs, intelligent humor, real emotion, and characters that are more complex than they look. It does a lot of things right, and it’s just awesome.

The fact that it represents a show I kind of like is what makes it worthy of the list, that and how enjoyable it is from start to finish. It’s pretty much great on all fronts and is one of the shows best stories to boot.

That’s when you know a movie based on a show is good, when it’s worthy of being on a list of the show’s best stories. Regular Show The Movie would have been on it’s list if I counted that, although it might be like number 5 or so.

Before I leave on, I should take this chance to discuss The OWCA Files, the post series special that is basically the Underfist of P&F. (God, anyone remember that?). I thought it was…decent.

Yeah, I’ll admit it’s the weakest special due to some flaws in the story writing and rehashing old concepts. But I thought it still worked due to the usual humor, some nice moments and a few solid songs, especially the opening song.

It’s very odd that this much hyped special was honestly not the greatest but it’s still solid due to the usual good qualities of the show.. ..But what was with the Doof 101 Bugs coming back?

So yeah, this movie is still awesome and is a great representation of an amazing show.

It may be an odd choice for the list but whatever, it’s still pretty great in any dimension.

  1. Punch Drunk Love

Whoa, it’s an actual movie and not a dumb comedy or TV movie! An actual movie with Adam Sandler no less! Honestly this section will be short because…i don’t have much to say. Yes, it’s been long enough since the review that I could add a lot more….but I haven’t gone back to since the review, and I really don’t remember enough to go deeper.

I remember enough to put it here, but I couldn’t really say more. This will be sadly short as a result, but I’ll try to say more, especially in regards to Sandler. The strange about this one is that some aspects aren’t too different from a typical Sandler movie, especially with how his character acts.

It’s like almost like a dissection of his character type, and that’s part of why it works. It his attempt at drama but it a bit of Comedy due so it really plays to his strengths. He does have the chops to handle more dramatic roles, and this script really fits him well. …That’s really all I could add. What did I say originally?

both the direction and Sandler’s performance help with that. Barry does fit a tiny bit into the typic angry sandler type, but he’s actually very likable, and also a bit funny,. the other actors are good too, though oddly, not as good. but still good

yeah, maybe lena isn’t exactly a complex character, but i like the chemistry they had, and the romance made sense when fit with barry’s character and how he grows.

it’s a very different film, in both style and tone. not all what i expecting, and while it is more comedic than dramatic, it never goes overboard, it’s very subtle at times, and it’s very good.

it was hard to review due to how it’s paced and written, but at least i got to watch a very entertaining, and well director film that proves that Adam Sandler IS awesome’

…Ignore my fear of capitalization I think I covered it all. It’s a really strong Dramedy type thing with some gripping stuff and Sandler’s best performance to date. I honestly think he could have had a shot at an Oscar if it weren’t for him being…Adam Sandler.

This is a nice balance of Sandler elements and different dramatic stuff. It is different for him but not too far off so that it feels out of place for him. I haven’t seen his other dramatic films, but something tells me they won’t top this.

I’m sorry I couldn’t go into more detail but there isn’t a lot to cover. It’s an actually great movie. No big connection with me, no crazy stuff, just an actual good movie. It’s one of the few of it’s kind I’ve reviewed and for what it deserves a spot on here.

So yeah, that is sadly all I got and I doubt number one will make up for it. But hey, the movie’s still good at least! …But seriously Sandler try to do more of this in the future, even if it might be too late.

Now, even with the lack of great films there are still some goods I want to spotlight with the Honorable Mentions:

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: All of them, as I still feel this is a solid trilogy that captures the essence of the books while still being enjoyable family films that can appeal to adults with their themes.

Ted: Easily one of the biggest surprises I’ve seen on here, being decently funny with a really solid writing that makes sure every character is likable even though this kind of plot is hard to get it right. I guess A Million Ways to Die in the best being mediocre made up for it. No, I haven’t seen the sequel yet.

HalloweenTown 2: This has all the great aspects of the series with none of the baggage, being very creative, funny, with a solid story and high stakes.

16 Wishes: Even by solid DCOM standards, this is a huge surprise with some pretty complex themes that a lot of kids need to see, and one of the biggest tearjerkers in any Disney Channel product. …Having Debby Ryan is just a bonus.

And my favorite film I reviewed 2012 and 2013 is…

  1. The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

Yep, another one that is not a shock at all. I’ve gone into my connection with it a few times, so me calling it the best I reviewed back then comes to no surprise. I spent my whole review explaining why it represents my childhood and is so solid.

What more can I say? Well, I can be more rational suppose. As a film on it’s own, it’s still solid due to some interesting themes and perfectly representing it’s source materiel. It might be a Big Damn Movie but it fits SpongeBob and has most of the usual charm.

Yes, some of the humor is slightly weaker but a lot of it is also very good. It has some of those classic SpongeBob moments in there, as well as awesome moments like Goofy Goober rock. That’s one of those insane things only SpongeBob could give us.

…Even if it’s technically one of the biggest Deus Ex Machina’s in movie history.

It really is the heart that pulls it through. Perhaps the message isn’t perfectly told but the message itself is still good, and important to learn. And god damn, that sad scene stil gets to me everytime.

I mean think about it again: They are pretty much dying (typo’d that as drying…which technically fits better)…but they don’t care because they made it to Shell City, which everyone said they couldn’t do.

That’s…incredibly mature for a silly kid’s movie like this. It’s Rugrats Movie levels of surprisingly depressing!

I like that. The movie actually has some meaning to it and that makes it better than some other kid’s movies. It’s certainly the deepest thing in Classic SpongeBob, which I know isn’t saying much.

It raises the movie from a fun one, to a genuinely good one. But of course, it is the connection that makes it my favorite. I went into this in the review, as well as my Top posts of 2013 list, so there really isn’t a lot more to say.

You all get why I like it. It’s painfully obvious why I think this is my favorite film I reviewed in these years. It represents my childhood while also being a solid film of the show and having a good message with plenty of heart.

As much as I enjoy Sponge out of Water, it couldn’t really beat this. This one just had a bit more heart to it. Oh, and whatever you do watch, Spazzmaster and Ill Nege’s review of this. It’s amazing and somehow made me appreciate the film even more than I already did. Yeah.

There really isn’t much else to say. All of those reasons add up to a pretty solid experience. With all of that in mind, it’s clear why this is the best film I reviewed in 2012 and 2013.

And that was my best list. A bit harder to put together, but still a solid batch of films that proved that I did cover some gems back then.

And those were the best films I reviewed in 2012 and 2013. Those were easily my craziest years when it came to the films I reviewed, and I think it was worth it, even if I had to see Newborn porn.

I’m glad I finally got this out of the way, because I do want to move on with the Retrospectives, I just wanted to get this out first so we can clean out the really bad shit first. As will as good…shit.

I think sitting through stuff like Fred was worth it to be able to cover gems like the Spongebob Movie. It’s important to look on the bright side, you know?

With that out of the way, you can expect the 2012 Retrospective sometime in March or so. I hate that I did so much stuff in the early years. In the meantime, it was nice too look back on some turds and gems.

…That’s pretty much all I got, go home.

See ya.

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About Spongey444

I'm 20 and I'm a slightly below average man who can barely spell. I mostly spend my time watching TV and movies, hence why i ended doing a blog all about those things. I tend to have weird tastes, but I like think I'm just fair on things.
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