Smosh: The Movie

Smosh_the_movie

I’d rather watch a buffering unskipable YouTube ad.

Hello, Spongey here.

It’s not only time for a request, but it’s also time for a hated film from the previous year. Have I even done a live action 2015 movie yet? Honestly, not too much stands out as something I NEED to review, and everything I could review has been done (Jupiter Ascending), or will be done so much I don’t need to touch it. (Fantastic 4, Jem).

Even this one I wasn’t too sure about it, and when I decided to go for it, it got requested. How convenient. This comes from Idyemyhairpink34. I don’t know if they are true to their name. They specifically said “i suffered though it now you will too”.

That sounds lovely.

First, we have our backstory. Smosh is basically just a Youtube Channel knowing for silly comedy skits with typical Youtube humor. I’ve honestly never seen any of their videos. I just know them as those videos that would sometimes appear in the related videos, that I never felt like clicking on.

From what I can tell, it’s typical YouTube stuff, but it’s pretty harmless when compared to some other crap out there. I’ve commented on the rise of Internet movies before, and this is another interesting example.

The ones online have actual stories connected to the world of their characters, and are actual movies. The ones “professionals” try to make use “characters” that barely exist, and barely count as movies.

You all remember Fred The Movie and how awful it was, and it’s mediocre sequels and spin off show. It seems like some of these movies happen because Hollywood wants to make money rather than give talented comedians their big break or something!

I have mixed feelings going in. At least Smosh has some talent to spare, meaning they could work in a real movie when given a decent script. On the other hand, this film is based directly upon Smosh.

…How do you make a movie out of…basically nothing? It even has a real plot, instead of a bunch of skits. That would be fine…if Tim & Eric didn’t’ do something similar and bomb horribly.

And these guys started online instead of a semi-professional Television Block. Oh, and this got very negative reviews. Smosh themselves responded to one review, and said “Poor form smearing a youtuber trying something new”

This is sounding better and better by the minute. But hey….you never know what could be good, so let’s at least try to be fair going in where. I don’t even have a problem with Smosh unlike Fred, so there’s no bias going in this time.

Let’s see who was hired to take on this epic tale. Our director is Alex Winter, who is an actual professions writer and actor, who played Bill in Bill & Ted. Whoa, they get an actual guy with talent instead of some guy who does only TV crap?

..He did the live action Ben Ten movies? Nevermind then. Speaking of TV, our two writers are known for TV work. One has just done small stuff, with the other is Steven Marmel, who I already know pretty well.

He was a writer on classic Fairly Odd Parents. Infact, he did that episode AU Me praised, meaning this is our time a TV review writer also did a movie I reviewed. Cool. He also created Sonny with a Chance.

Yes, really. So this could be either amazing or just okay….or bad like his Modern Family guy Episode. All bets are off.

Oh, and our producer was producer on Fred the movie.

…Let’s get this over with.

This, is Smosh: The Movie

The movie opens with an animated title sequence showing Ian and Anthony, the geniuses behind Smosh…doing their daily routine and watching YouTube videos. What an amazing use of expensive CGI that looks mediocre.

They even just give up and cut to a real life version of these same events. Also, one of those guys leaves a comment just saying “You Suck”. Well, you can’t say this movie isn’t faithful to YouTube culture.

We find out that one of the guys is a freeloader and the other guy is trying to be a professional with an actual job. Glad to see them rely on old cliches for their buddy movie. It’s so original and makes them so likable.

Also, Anthony imagine Steve Austin talking to him in the mirror because…we need a celebrity cameo. It’s not a soulless cash grab without it! They head to some arcade place called “The Gang Bang” because….we also need crass jokes for the sake of it.

They spy a game like Pocket Slave Monsters, which is an amazingly creative joke about how Pokemon are “enslaved”. Nothing but the most original and fresh insights, I see!

We used to love the games and the Tv show, and the erotic fan fiction”

Oh great, we’re following someone who enjoys Pokemon Erotica. Lovely. Anthony is worried Ian isn’t living in the “Real world” and he keeps being embarrassing. Christ, is this gonna be nothing but buddy comedy cliches?

Then a kid takes a dump on Anthony’s car. Because lolpoopisfunny. They play the sad music like I’m suppose to care. Cute. Because Ian needs more charming traits, we see that we leaves pervy comments on videos of girls getting butt messages.

The comments are always flagged, which makes me wonder why she doesn’t just block him or something. So far this is the typical case of me wondering what I’m supposed to like about this guy. He’s written to be an annoying embarrassment but there’s nothing charming about him.

This came in 2015, I thought we learned this shtick is no longer funny or charming. ….Christ, we’re only 10 minutes in. The mailman arrives and says he refuses to deliver mail to Ian’s house, than he smashes his mailbox because that won’t get you fired or anything.

Oh, and we get it,. Ian sucks, move on. Although the mailman is the funniest part so far. Anyway, Ian thinks he has a thing going on with butt massage girl, but then he is blocked. Why did it take so long to happen to begin with?

She really cares about me”

Bah. Anthony shows up with the mail and they have an invitation to their 5 year High School Reunion, which is that night. Yep, pile on the cliches, why not. This causes Anthony to launch into a flashback about his crush, Anna Reed.

He seemed to hit off with her but wussed out and didn’t talk to her again, and this Reunion is a good chance to fix that. Maybe they’ll do something clever with it. Maybe I should stop being optimistic.

They checked out a video that was linked to them but they must face a long ad, then a bunch of buffering. Okay, that’s funny because it’s so freaking true. Turns out the video is of him doing some embarrassing thing in front of Anna from back then.

Why wasn’t this is a big deal back when the video was made? Seems like a long time to go without even hearing about it, if they thought it was so funny. He’s worried that Anna will see the video so they must get the video removed from YT before she sees it.

That’s stupid..the video contains a cruel prank, so it’ll stay on while perfectly fair use videos get fucked over for some reason.

They call up YouTube to ask them to remove the video.

Are you a rich and powerful corporation that can threaten us with legal action?”

No”

Then I can’t help you, goodbye”

You know it’s sad when Smosh the Movie makes fun of your bullshit. Guess you have to find out who put it up and makes them take it down. Oh wait, that would make sense. …Wait, what ifas bunch of people already downloaded and shared it thus making this pointless?

They head down to YouTube HQ to take matters into their own hands, By that I mean they lie and claim to be a powerful company. They buy it and let them in to see Mr. Youtube.

Mr Youtube will see you now’

If this turns into 50 Shades of Grey….I’ll stay because that sounds way funnier than this. They talk to him and he says once a video is online, it’s there forever so their best bet is to change the video from the inside.

So you mean like…go into Youtube, tron style?’

.Care to explain, instead of jumping into pointless banter involving a mention of Gangem style because that’s totally still relevant?

There’s actually a portal right under my desk’

Turns out he’s lying and he just has his dick out under there. Because….dicks are funny.

That is the best joke ever!’

No comment.

Then he says there IS a portal, and it’s just in his closet. So that entire bit was unfunny, boring, AND pointless? Hooray!

As it turns out, he’s right and gives them a Discount Siri to help guide them.

It’s like Siri”

Explaining the joke, that’s always great, right? But in more important matters, it turns out they can magically go inside YouTube to change the video. …This now it’s randomly supernatural for no reason, with no hint or explanation at all.

Whatever, it’s a Comedy, I can let that slide, and hey it’s not a bad idea, it’s been done well before. Maybe it’ll be funny! ….Maybe?

They end up in a Bear Attack video, and then a Markiplier video because cameo. Well, at least this one makes sense and is relevant. He’s playing a game involving a gorilla with a chainsaw.

‘It doesn’t make a whole lot sense, but then again I don’t really care”

Okay that was funny.

Next they jump into a video Ian secretly filmed of Anthony talking to himself in the mirror, because we didn’t already get that Ian is a dick. …Wow, speaking of which I’m kind of a dick in this review so far.

Past Ian, the one who filmed this, goes outside and they follow him, which is confusing because in the past two videos they only existed in the real of the video butn ow they can interact with something outside of it?

Wait, why am I nitpicking the rules of a movie like this? Past Ian throws milk balloons at the mailman, explaining why he got so pissed earlier, and I’m on his side. Seriously, will he do anything that;’s even the slightest bit likable?

This really only exists for they can realize they can interact with the videos, even though the event that spawned this thought happened as Past Ian his phone were inside, so they are not even in the same area as the video-okay I’ll stop.

He asks Diri to take them to the embarrassing video but she takes them to Jenna Marbles because….more cameos.

Now she’s just messing with us”

Instead of this cameo doing something funny, she just figures out their situation and tells them how to get to the video. They need to type the adress of the video, and they don’t know it….because there’s no way they can find the video to get the address. It’s not like they have phones they can use to find the original link location or anything!

I’m allowed to nitpick because it artificially extends the plot. Speaking of which, we get a ticking clock as we find out that if the phone dies, they are stuck in YouTube forever. That…kind of makes sense.

Oh, and Jenna says she got stuck and then argues with another her in the background as the scene just moves on. …Okay. They decided to just guess random addresses, and they split up to do so.

Anthony pops up in a video of….uh a Furry party, I think.

Bunny Twerk!”

  1. quit.

Ian ends up in the butt massage girl video…because he put it in on purpose. Ugh. She sees him right away….and says she was just playing hard to get by flagging his comments. Okay, this has to be an imagine spot, calling it now.

Before we can find out, Anthony ends up in a video of Steve Austin, which you think could be kind of amusing but it goes nowhere. He gets fed and just asks Diri to take him to the night of the video, and he is taken to Anna’s house.

Okay, so they can just go back in time? You said they are in YouTube, not going through time wily nilly. You have to obey the premise of the damn movie!

Oh, she’s filming a video. That’s their excuse. …Well, it’s still stupid. She conveniently starts talking about Anthony and it is confirmed that she liked him. Glad to be back to the actual “story” after so many detours.

He gets out there before he is spotted, and we rejoin Ian and butt massage girl. Wait, so it’s real? Ian being a creepy perv basically brought him something good while Anthony just got unfairly punished in that scene for no reason? …Seriously? You’re resorting to bad TV tactics here!

She conveniently recognizes Anthony from the video and pulls it out on her pad, so he can see the address. Like he could have done with his own phone, for reasons I went into. Anthony tells Ian that his love with butt massage girl is not real as this is just a video and he restarts said video to prove it.

I’m not sure I’m going over this, maybe to point how pointless that scene now is. Also, the events go the same as before with her liking him because ugh. With that, the head into the video they want.’

Good, we’re almost done? ….We’re only 40 minutes in?! HOW?! They get ready to stop their 2009 Anthony from embarrassing himself…but then they see that Ian was the one recording the video that started all of this.

.Seriously. As we needed another reason why Ian sucks! They try to justify by saying he recorded it because he thought it would turn out well, and he posted it because he thought it was fun and he wanted to remind Anthony how fun he used to be.

And….well it doesn’t work but….still better than some other similar attempts to justify assholes characters. Ian isn’t even laughing at his embarrassment, he thinks it’s kind of cool, so this bit isn’t as asshole-ish as the rest of his antics….but it’s really forced how he acts likes a dick to Anthony the whole movie only for him to be slightly nice in doing the big dumb that started the plot JUST to make Anthony look like the asshole.

Not to mention it’s incredibly cliché. The “funny” one thinks the serious one has lost his touch and yada yada. It bombs because while Anthony maybe needed to loosen up, he was just being rational to make up for Ian being an unlikable asshat.

And worst of all, this is incredibly boring coming from two people who quite frankly should be more creative than this. And I STILL don’t get why he waited 5 years to post the video. That’s minor but in this plot, usually it gets leaked right away and just now becomes more relevant.

People change Ian, get over it”

As they start fighting, Diri takes them on a montage trip through YouTube to pad the runtime. They go through like 3 videos, none of which are that creative, and they just end up back at school after like a minute.

Riveting. Ian decides to apologize for posting the video. First off, lamest argument ever. 2nd of all, I’m not buying it. You are not funny enough for me to feel sorry for you.

Oh, and Diri hits on Anthony. Her, this is not.

Ian beats up Past Anthony…instead of getting rid of Past Ian’s phone so the video doesn’t come to exist. …Seriously, that makes more sense and is way easier. Now there’s a video of you beating up your best friend, that’s even worse!

This causes a huge fight to break out, and when they ask Diri to help, she refuses.

First you idiots barge into my office asking for favors. I am gracious enough to listen but then you won’t even laugh at my weiner jokes!”

…Steve?’

…What a twist? Yep, Mr. YouTube is an evil guy who says sending the two into YouTube was part of his evil scheme to keep them in YouTube forever. And he does this because……he’s evil, I guess?

This just makes the story even more of a mess, although I guess I didn’t see it coming so….that’s something. Now the two must get out of YouTube before their battery drops to 0, and they do so by going through their viewing history to find the portal.

With that, Steve jumps into YT himself to take care of them. Well, time for our forced climax because even lame YouTube movies need them. At least Fred had no forced villain that I recall.

We get through the videos we’ve before, but some are slightly funnier than before, which is a plus. It only takes a minute to get back to the Markiplier video, which gives us another buffering joke, which is less funny than before.

It’s 2014, why is there stll buffering”

This is why you don’t namedrop the year, in case your movie comes out a year after that year. They find the portal but Steve gets in their way. …Then a bear attacks him, giving them a change to escape.

  1. can’t say I was expecting anything better, really.

They officially make up here, even though it’s not exactly the time and my rant from before still applies. Either way, they are out….and we still have 15 minutes left. This movie never ends.

They head home only to find that their house is huge and butt massage girl is there. …Yeah, she explains that the video of the past and present Ian and Anthony fighting became such a huge hit that they became rich.

So…they went through time, not YouTube? Seriously, is this movie supposed to make sense or not? Not to mention how improbable this is, and how Ian is now rewarded for being a pervert. Lovely.

Thankfully, Anthony is better off, as he has 30 girlfriends. But of course Anna is the one he wants. I’m going to guess their fame made this timeline’s Anthony too much of a rich jerk to go with Anna. This film has become cliché enough for that to be the case.

We get a few more jokes about how amazing their lives are now, including a reveal that Steve is not ceo of YT in this timeline, for some reason. He still makes dick jokes though.

He seemed lovely”

Heh, that was also kind of funny.

Now they are off to the reunion to get Anna. He talks to her and they at least confirm that she at least thought he was too busy being rich to be with her. She thought he changed or whatever. I was right enough for me to bitch about it.

This scene is trying to be sad, but with the set up I can’t really get into it, the characters aren’t good enough, and it’s incredibly cliché and boring. Much like the rest of the movie. So to get her to like him again, he goes on stage to pretty recant the video, but it goes without a hitch this time.

He does screw up something after, which makes her see that he is still the crazy Anthony she loved. Yawn, I don’t care, okay? Can we wrap this up? We’ve seen this moral before, and it does nothing new with it at all.

They get up on the stage to celebrate, and Anna meets Butt Massage girl.

My name’s Brad”

What the fuck?’!”

Roll credits. Way to end on only the classiest of notes. Also, abrupt ending, yada yada. At least we get like 4 minutes of bloopers. …And a post credits scene?! Unless Howard the Duck shows up, I don’t care!

If you do, it has Ian getting married to “Brad”….and he says he has a boner, and Anthony cries, The end. ….That was a good use of my time.

Final Thoughts:

While this was way more bearable than Fred, this was still pretty bad. For the simple reason that it has no idea what it wants to be, and doesn’t even feel like a Smosh movie. Both major plot lines clash with each other, as it’s both realistic and off the wall with no explanation.

The YouTube plot line would be good as a 5 minute sketch, but it outstays it’s welcome when stretched to 75 minutes, and they barely even take advantage of it, doing only a few skits with it.

The more down to earth plot line is boring as all hell, as it’s incredibly predictable with everything being forced. It’s also insanely cliché, and does nothing to make different from every other take on this plot.

It hits every note and the heart doesn’t work because it’s rushed and we barely know anyone. Anthony is just the boring straight man who gets punished too much and that’s about it, while Anna is just the slightly quirky girl who prefers him as himself.

Meanwhile Ian is the annoying one who never really learns his lesson. His “arc” ends when he apologizes, and does NOTHING in the actual ending to show he learned his lesson. He acts like a jackass and is excused because he was teaching a lesson. What a load.

The writing is just terrible, which how it fails to balance anything and it’s not interesting at all. I’m okay with a weak plot if they at least try to make us care, but they failed. The twist with Steve feels like it’s trying to be crazier with the plot, but it pretty much adds up to nothing.

To be fair, the humor isn’t as the worst, as it has a few amusing moments, but a lot of it is cliché. Plus I bet I’d laugh more if I watched any actual Smosh video, and it would waste less of my time.

The acting and production values are fair for this kind of movie, but it’s nothing special either. The worst thing about this movie is how much of a waste it is. At least Fred was what you would aspect from him in terms of humor and felt mostly like a Fred video, and the attempts at heart were short.

While this has a few Smosh-eqsque jokes, most of it is too tame and barely uses their talents. If they want to make an extended Smosh skit, do it. If you want to make an actual movie do it, but you can’t have both unless you actual try.

And even if you want a plot, do one that is actually interesting and gives the two funny things to. Outside of some reactions, Ian and Anthony get very little to do here, and are just boring for the most part.

A movie like this should not be as mind mindbogglingly boring as it was. I’m okay with them trying something new, but with major backing and their talents, they should have made something better than this.

At least Fred had the excuse of being a TV Movie, this only has the excuse of having a sort of lower budget than most movies. While I’ve seen more annoying movies, this one of the most poorly written films.

It could have at least pleased fans but outside of some jokes, it doesn’t even do that. It’s just a waste of money and talent all around. You’re better of watching Smosh videos for an hour than sitting through this.

By the way, one of the production companies behind this also made Genie in a Bikini ….Now it all makes sense.

Grade: D

I hope you enjoyed my torment. Next time, we take a break from requests to do a sequel to a movie I reviewed a long time ago.

See ya.

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About Spongey444

I'm 20 and I'm a slightly below average man who can barely spell. I mostly spend my time watching TV and movies, hence why i ended doing a blog all about those things. I tend to have weird tastes, but I like think I'm just fair on things.
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