Hello, Spongey here.
Last week, I showed you that the Holidays are so great that even Disney Sitcoms manage to clean up their act. But you might be wondering: If they can sheer up mean spirited shows, does that mean any one can suddenly do good work when put under a Holiday light?
Yes, and our old buddy Dan Schneider has proven that. Most of the Holiday episodes of his shows, while not great, manage to be rather nice, even wither their flaws. In the very least, they aren’t too many.
Even the Game Shakers one was…bearable. I guess. Hell, even wrote that Kenan and Kel one that I really like.
Infact, he seems to like Christmas so much that in 2008, he made a whole Christmas movie…based on one of his shows. It still counts! And of course, that film was based on Drake & Josh.
I talked about this show back in the Theater Thug review, so no need to go into my feelings. But I do need to go into a little history. The show proper ended in 2007 after 4 Seasons, but 15 months later, they decided to give the fans a little treat: A reunion movie.
Apparently the main reason they made it is because they realized the show never did a Christmas episode, so they did this. They also never did a Halloween episode, but you don’t see a Halloween movie.
Since I felt a bit bad after talking smack about the show before, I figured I’d talk about in a positive way. Yep, this movie turned out well. It’s nothing amazing, but it is decent, mostly it was good to see the characters again.
Before they just become excuses for Dan Schneider shows to remnd you of a better show you could be watching. Seriously, in one episode of Game shakers, someone just says “Who wants to watch Drake and Josh?”, out of nowhere!
…Wait, these other shows clearly share a universe with the show…so how could it exist as a show in that world? …Whatever, let’s get into it. I need a good Nick TV Movie after whatever the hell Genie in a Binki was.
Our director did a DCOM called Startruck, which I haven’t seen. Naturally, Dan is one of writers, along with someone who is of course part of his posse, doing episodes of his shows.
With all of that said, let’s see how the big real finale of the show went.
This, is Merry Christmas, Drake & Josh
The movie opens with Drake driving around as the obgliatory pop song places, giving us nice Christmas-y shots of the city, as the credits roll. The parents have left for a vacation, because that alwas turn out well.
‘Don’t do anything werd”
After a few scenes of filler, we see the duo walking around the mall, to take advantage of the slightly increased budget. Drake says they are holding a party on the roof of the Premiere, the theater tha Josh works at.
Josh objects, but since Drake’s seemingly bad ideas always get started, he goes with it. And he didn’t need that weird Spanish robot thing this time!
Speaking of things going Drake’s way, he gets to be the fake Santa even though Josh is still technically fatter. Man, remember when Josh was fat? I feel old now. Josh gets to e…well.
“This is my sack…of toys”
The space between sack and of toys was in the movie, I didn’t make a dumb joke. Because the main plot won’t quite be enough to fill a movie, we cut to the parents as thy are vacationing on an island which turns out to be pretty crappy.
I don’t remember how deep this pot goes, but it’s amusing, if a bit cliché.
Back with Drake, he’s making out a random girl, which gives him some punishment in the form an ugly kiss asking for a similar kiss. Hey, consequences! That’s always good to see.
Drake runs away from the girl and while in hiding, he bumps into a little girl played by Baliie Madison. Insert Haunting Hour joke here. She asks Santa to give her the best Christmas ever.
He says sure, and they move on. Yes, this becomes important later.
Drake escapes and we cut to the party that night, as Drake Bell gets his obligatory singing scene. He’s got nothing on the Jack Frost band, but he’s good.
We get a few scenes of people talking, one of which has good old Crazy Steve bragging about his new girlfriend….a Woodchipper.
“She pulverizes anything I put into her”
Some assholes start causing trouble, and Josh calls the cops. Whoa, someone actually does the sensible thing?!
But of course, that goes down when Josh falls into their truck as they get away, with a bad effect, and somehow doesn’t break his back.
Josh falls out of the truck and is arrested, even though all evidence points to him being a victim. I guess they really wanted to tempt snarky reviewers with some possible rape jokes, as his cell mate is a big black dude.
“I’m gonna beat you down, all day”
…Josh gets out of this by doing magic tricks for him. This gives them time to bond, and he becomes less hostile. Well, that was quick. To be fair, this isn’t exactly the main point of the movie.
But why are all prisoners in kids’ movies/shows all pussies? If they were actually nice, they wouldn’t be in jail to begin with!
Anyway, Josh can’t get out because Drake fails to find a real lawyer. He did get a fake one in a funny cutaway. The girl from earlier, Mary Alice, shows up reminding us of her promise.
Before anyone says, she says he knew Drake was Santa because of his eyes. I know all of my readers who pay attention will wonder that, so there you go.
She gives a sob story about how she lives in a foster home, and her Mom is sick and Dad has to work a lot. It’s incredibly cheesy but somehow works cuz of HOW cheesy gets. Also, the actress pulls it off decently.
So now Drake has to fulfill his promise for the sweet girl. Don’t worry, the jail stuff connects to this in a moment.
In desperation, Drake decides to break Josh out of jail. Oh, this will turn out well. Drake somehow has the tools to make a decent dent in the wall, so the big black guy can break it, so they can leave.
But of course, they are immediately caught. Hey, law enforcement people are competent now!
This takes them to court, with a judge played by Henry Winkler. …Weird, but cool. Hellen is their lawyer, so you can imagine how well it goes. She tells them about Mary Alice and the Christmas promise, and how they can’t do it if they are in jail.
Because a random girl means more than breaking the law, they will let them go…if they fulfill if their promise. If they don’t, they will go in jail. A bit silly…but whatever. I mean, what would constitute the best Christmas ever in the legal world?
But yes, that is our plot. Silly, but that’s kind of the point. Took a bit too much set up though.
An evil government guy named Perry J Gilbert pulls them aside, so we can have a face for our conflict. He’s at least a fun evil jackass. Also, they can’t tell Mary Alice or the other children about all this, so we can do a tired cliché.
After a pointless comedy scene in a car, they go to Mary’s Alice’s place to check in on her and the other foster kids. The other kids have their comedic personality which are shown here, including two fangirls and a black kid.
She also a brother named Luke who is very dismissive of Drake and Josh because reasons.
“He can be grouchy”
After a scene with the parents, we get a few minor scenes, and the kids get a bit rambunctious causing Josh to remind Drake of how important their mission is.
Then an out of context line:
‘Never put your finger in me ever again”
Officer Gilbert pays off some random guys to take Drake and Josh’s clothes, so he can charge them with nudity. What an asshole. He’s an amazingly fun villain so far, even if I have NO IDEA why he doesn’t want them to win.
They get some clothes, and ask Megan to take care of Gilbert for them. Yep, another time where she’s toned down AND useful! But it’s weird how we’re taking care of him after he only just showed up.
Megan takes care of him through stuff I don’t care to sum up, and the boys get back to helping the kids with Christmas. They take them to cut down a Christmas tree which leads to a bunch of crazy antics and silly Comedy.
And also Josh getting hurt, because this is a Drake and Josh movie after all. It is funny here since it’s over the top and silly.
They get their Christmas Tree which is as comedically lame as you would expect. After a scene with the parents, we cut to that night as Megan gets mad at them for a reason I forgot to mention.
See, in exchange for her help, they promised they would get her this expensive Oboe thing that a friend had, and she just found that this was all a lie by Drake. Because Megan is the kind of person to lie yo!
This scene only exists to make Megan put Gilbert back on their trail, to make that entire bit pointless.
The next day, they go Christmas Caroling which doesn’t turn out very well, until Drake helps make their singing more rocking. Because one song wasn’t enough for Drake Bell.
They even get Mary’s Grinch-y brother to help out, as part of his journey, whatever it is. However, Gilbert has to show up and ruin everything. They try to figure out why he might hate them, and visit his mother to figure things out.
Like you do.
“He hates Christmas”
What a shock.
Let me guess, he didn’t get the present he wanted from Santa? …Actually, he DID….but the present was a Monkey, and the monkey beat him up and pissed on him.
JON TRON: I have several questions
That was….unexpected, at least. But the nature is still pretty cliché. To make things more typical, they want to change his mind on Christmas by giving him a sweet monkey.
There’s your moral kids: Monkeys solve everything!
After more of the parents’ subplot, they visit the Holiday parade, as we find out Mary Alice has always to see snow.
“Like you never wanted to build a snow man?”
Let it go! …Wait, wrong Frozen song.
Officer Gilber5 is naturally lurking about, and he talks to Crazy Steve. Oh, this will end well! He just tells him to remind the boys of the whole jail thing. He does this because he knows Steve will yet and thus reveal all of this to the kids.
Yep, the liar has been revealed. To be fair, it’s not a big issue in this context, but they still didn’t need the cliché. Also, Steven drives a De Lorean because…references.
I don’t need to tell you that the kids get mad, and think they don’t care about them. Plenty of moping for everyone!
The execution is decently heartbreaking, at least.
Despite this, Drake wants to keep his promise. D’aww. While watching TV later, they get the idea to make it snow via some wacky inventions. They get Steve’s Woodchipper girlfriend and talk about putting wood in her.
Meanwhile, Gilbert gets his sweet monkey. Now let me guess, it’s gonna backfire and turn out to be evil or something, for the sake of a mean spirited joke? …Well for now, that’s actually not the case.
It’s a big sweet moment right here. I don’t remember if this goes downhill, but for now, they actually stick with the sweet moment and instead of doing something dumb!
It’s a Christmas Miracle!
Drake and Josh get a bunch of ice, and plan to use that wood chipper to make it snow. They head to Mary Alice’s place and the brother voices his disapproval, but the boys go on anyway.
Yep, not a whole lot to say here. Took a while for me to lampshade that, at least.
“Let it snow, brother!”
Spoilers, it goes comically wrong. It just creates a bunch of ice that flies evey where. Guess we need some kind of “epic” climax, in this. The boys fail to turn it off and get knocked out.
…Nah, of course that’s not how it ends. They wake up in their house to find out that Gilbert found him and took them home. Yes, his sweet monkey has changed his mood for the better.
As usual in these specials, one minor act makes him suddenly love Christmas. It’s really sweet, so I won’t be too grumpy.
But onto the more important subject of Mary Alice. After a fake out, she and the other kids show up to wish them a Merry Christmas. They see how sweet the boys were being, and decided they were being genuine about all of this.
It’s a big nice moment, as cheesy as it is. The kids show that they learned a bit more about Christmas, and yada yada yada. And of course, we have our vote that will decide if they go to jail.
You can guess what the outcome is. Yes, they thought it was the best Christmas ever, and the boys will not face jail. Woo ho, let’s sing a Christmas song!
But we can’t end here, so that guy from prison shows up dressed as Santa. I’m so glad he’s back. I suppose the real Santa showing up would be odd. No odder than anything else on this show, but okay.
He even got her Megan’s Oboe thing. Well, if this was the real Santa he would know she’s way high on the naughty list.
And top it all off, it snows for real! …Okay, Steve just got the Chipper to work better, but it counts!
Wait, one more thing needs to be resolved. The parents come back from their pointless subplot. With that, everyone celebrates and runs wild with Christmas cheer. The boys agree that this was indeed the best Christmas ever.
And of course, this when the camera pans back and the credits roll. Being a quick TV Movie, this ending is acceptable. Actually, it’s more satisfying then most endings I see. Weird.
Was this movie kind of stupid? Yes. Was it basically an excuse to get the cast back together? Yes. Was it was still enjoyable? …Also yes.
I can make this quick. Yeah, it’s basically a longer episode but that is kind of the point. They already did a more traditional movie with the Hollywood thing, so might as well kick back for this one.
It’s all about just doing crazy antics, more than the story. But to be fair, the story isn’t the worst. As cliché and cheesy as it is, they to make an effort and they have quite a few sweet moments.
They even balance out the mean humor this time, and don’t ruin the nice moments. Maybe it’s a bit much but it works out fine. It embraces the Christmas spirit so much that it’s hard to hate.
While it doesn’t stack up with the best and funniest of this show, but it works well enough. The actors are still fun, and there’s enough of that strange humor to make me sort of happy.
It’s pretty stupid and cheesy, but it’s enjoyable for that exact reason. It could have worked as a normal episode, and the pacing could have been better, but for what it is, it’s fine.
Nothing special, and maybe not too review worthy, but I wanted to do something simple. It’s a solid farewell flick, and has so much heart, that I can’t help but like it. While I don’t think everyone will love it, I think it’s worth seeking out.
At worst, it’s just forgettable. And hell, it’s still better than the last Drake Bell Christmas movie, or the last Josh Peck movie with snow I saw.
Well, next week is the week of Christmas, so next time is our official Christmas review. After last year, I need something actually special. A Christmas movie that is sot of infamous, and crazy but hopefully won’t be painful, just weird.
Yeah, might as well.