Hello, Spongey here. And welcome back to Barbie Month!
I think we’ve covered enough of the classic era, so today we’ll jump forward a tad. See, for 16 films spanning 2001 to 2009, they mostly stuck to fantasy stories, either basing them on classic stories, or just being typical fantasy fair. Mostly with Barbie telling some story.
However, they started running into copyright issues with their planned adaption of Sleeping Beauty, so they switched gears. Instead, they would make Barbie more Modern. And by that I mean HIP 4 DA KIDZ YO.
While that concept makes me shudder, I like that they decided to make these movies more like Barbie instead of just better stories with Barbie slapped on. So in 2010, they started the Modern Era which is still going to this day.
And we’ll be doing those films for the rest of the month because…they look like they have more to mock. Of course, we’ll start with the first entra in the Modern Era. It’s so Modern that changed Barbie’s voice actress, which Tv Tropes says did not please the fans.
There are fans of this stuff?
Instead of Kelly Sheridan/Starlight Glimmer, it’s Diana Kaarina/Aria Blaze. …They only switched one MLP villain with another. They just wanted to drive me crazy with the pony connections. And to think this was the last Barbie movie released before MLP become a thing.
With the writer of Barbie Thumblinea and the director of some Monster High films on board, this is sure to be a hoot. So let’s take a look and see how they bring Barbie into the Modern Era.
This, is Barbie: A Fashion Fairytale
The thing starts with the big epic universal logo. …Seeing that in front of a Barbie movie makes me feel dirty. The movie actually starts with some woman showing Princess Barbie her huge bed. What an exciting way to start a movie.
“Bring out…the peas”!
…And then some giant peas come out, saying they’ll eat her brains. …Then they sing about it.
I’ve found it. The greatest motion picture of all time.
Okay, it turns out this is actually a movie Barbie is starring in. Her career took a weird turn. Barbie doesn’t’ seem to agree with me as she objects to them. They weren’t in the script.
“Just a little pizazz I added this morning…or should I say peazazz”
“That was a good one, tweet that and put it on my blog”
“It just doesn’t make sense”
“Who cares? Zombies are hip”
…Whoa, Barbie is getting into commentary here. I mean, we have a dude adding useless crap into his movie simply because it’s popular. Although I must say a Barbie is the last movie to be commenting on this stuff.
Barbie says the cool story from the original will be lost with these additions. Okay, stop being smart, movie.
“You know that flapping thing you’re doing with your mouth?”
“You mean expressing my opinion?”
“Yeah, no more of that”
What a douche.
Eventually, Todd the Director gets pissed and fires her. Ouch. I’m gonna analyze the animation now: It has improved, at least with the character animation. Far less bad than usual, but the movements are pretty awkward, and the backgrounds are pretty bland. …That’s all I got so let’s move on.
Barbie goes home with her friends, and I notice that in the background, oyu see a poster for the previous Barbie movie, Mermaid Tail. …Are they implying most of the films up to this point are just fake films made by the real Barbie, an actress? Cuz…that’s weird.
She goes online and sees that not only has the word about her firing spread, but she has…received negative comments about her.
…Okay, this is officially the most meta Barbie movie EVER. By the way, her two friends are Grace and Tersa. One is normal and black, and the other is the dumb one. The dumb one is voiced by Sonta Duck.
…She’s playing the same character, right down to being friends with Aria here. That’s other type casting, or a hilarious in hindsight situation. Let’s bring in Kazumi Evans to complete the Dazzlings, while we’re at it!
…She is in a Barbie movie, but not this one.
Those comments get to Barbie and she thinks she should quit acting. She almost changes her mind, but Ken calls and dumps her. Yikes, this movie is almost making me feel bad for Barbie.
“Unless…Ken got kidnapped by aliens and they took over his body!””
Go back to sleep, Sonata. …Hey, I had to say it at least once. Anyway, I predict this will be some kind of weird misunderstanding, based on how Ken worded it. He said “if you’re smart, you’ll forget that I exist”. No normal person says that unless he’s being forced to say these things.
With that, they decided to take a little vacation to clear their heads. They shall visit Barbie’s Aunt Millicent, who is a designer in Paris. Of course she is. Also, her dogs talk…sort of. We hear them talk but they just hear barking.
Because this franchise needed a talking a dog. They are thankfully not voiced by anyone I know. So with a quick travel montage, Barbie arrives in Paris. We cut to Ken hanging out with local Alpha Bitch Raquelle, voiced by Lightning Dust. Christ, is everypony gonna show up?
Ken is confused by the fact that Barbie won’t answer his calls. Hm…. Barbie’s friends walk in (guess they stayed behind) and get angry upon seeing them together.
“I would never dump Barbie!”
Someone pick up the phone. Because I called it. As it turns out, Raqulle tricked Ken into saying that so she can play the recording the Barbie and make her think he dumped her. Wow, that’s pretty crafty, even by Alpha Bitch standards. I have my favorite character!
Anyway, they just ignore Raquell and say Ken must get his ass to Paris to have a big reuniting scene. Back in Paris, Barbie bumps into a designer named Jacqueline, and her assistant Delphine. The latter is voiced by Shanon Chen Kent, aka Silver Spoon/Singing voice of Pinkie Pie. Seriously, where’s Tara Strong? Might as well drag her in too!
“You must know Millicent”
Because all designers know each other?
Jacqueline just laughs and then leaves. Okay. Barbie goes to meet Millicent and she is indeed the “cool” aunt. Wikipedia she has a pony role but it’s so small I don’t even remember it. You get a pass this time.
She has a snooty cat voiced by Anna from Time Wrap Trio. …At least it’s not MLP. Millicent has an assistant named Marie Alecia, voiced by Tabitha St Germain. Of course. I say that because she’s voicing someone working in fashion. What’s more important is that Millicent is closing up shop and moving to the country.
She’s doing this because her “audience” hasn’t been fond of her latest works.
“If your audience doesn’t like what you do, does it make sense to keep on doing it?’
“No, no it doesn’t”
…Eh, I’m not sure. You just find out why they don’t like it and change it instead of just giving up. Barbie is cool with this which I did not expect, but I’m sure that will change in a bit.
Also, we find out Millicent also has a dog that gets a crush on Barbie’s dog. Why do these characters exist? Barbie and Marie hang out, as she explains that there’s some legend about fairies that hung out at the place this thing was built on top of. Oh yeah, this thing is called a Fashion FAIRYtale so it’s still gotta have magic.
She believes in this stuff because reasons, so they try to summon the fairies. Also, there’s this line:
“When I did The Three Musketeers, we shot in this old French castle”
Okay, so I guess all the movies before this did only exist as actual movies this Barbie made. …that’s actually kind of clever. It even explains the flaws of them!
They put a dress in this wardrobe, chant some French words, and boom, fairies appear. I should have known it be insultingly easy. These things are named Shine, Shimmer, and Glimmer. They couldn’t have picked dumber names.
And of course, one of them has to be voiced by Andrea Libman. The others are Spitfire, and Daring Do. Also, they are not fairies…they are flaries.
“We have flair!”
Andrea said that and she’s doing the Pinkie Pie voice here, and i would have picked up the voice even without looking it up.
“We came to life in this fashion house. It’s the source of our powers”
That raises some questions that will never be answered. This is only the case so we have a reason to have Millicent stay and keep the place. Because just having her stay to keep following her dreams isn’t good enough.
Angry, they decide to give Millicent a piece of their minds. They confront her right away, since this movie decides not to pad things out further. Except there was a scene with Ken in-between this that I skipped because it was stupid.
It doesn’t long to convince Millicent that these things are real and that the place must not be sold. But it’s too late and she’d have to make a bunch of money to get it back. She can’t do that by Friday so they are boned until …eh, I’d give it 3 minutes, tops.
Someone walking by sees a dress the fairies (I am not calling them flaries) sparkled up and wants to buy it. Dang, that wasn’t even one minute! With that, Marie will make a fashion line so they make enough money to buy the place back.
Yeah, didn’t mention that she dabbles in fashion but was too shy to mention it. Every little cliché bit is piling up right now. This plot is looking pretty weak right now. I prefer it when it was about Barbie being bumped out by internet comments.
Then we get a montage of them going around Paris to get inspiration for their fashion line. The montage song is weak so replace it with Art of the Dress because it’s fitting.
After another dumb scene with Ken, they tell Millicent about their plan and she approves. After another Ken scene, we get more crap with the animals. Sigh. Then we move back to the actual plot as our heroes have made some pet fashions. Sure you don’t wanna call Blythe for that?
…Hey, there’s so much MLP here, we might as well fit LPS while we’re at it. Then it’s more of Ken’s adventures. His antics are actually kind of amusing, as a sort of road trip comedy. But t’s still just padding.
Meanwhile, the French designer bad guy person finally exists again as she plots to steal Millicent’s ideas. She finds out about the fairies and sneaks in that night to catch them. They do so pretty easily. …Well, yeah that was too easy.
She forces them to use their powers on her outfits to make them look better. But they kind of need to be inspired by a dress before they work their magic, though the bad chick doesn’t care and makes them do it anyway. They do it and it looks fine right now. Got nothing to comment on here, pretty typical stuff right now.
Barbie and the other discover that the fairies are missing. Despite this, they truck on because Marie’s designs are just that good, and Millicent has becomes inspired, despite what her critics say. As it sad that this message is done better than Review it Up? At least this one isn’t attacking anyone specific.
Anyway, this is cool and all but they should still try to find the fairies due to the fact that missing people is a bad thing. But we just we get a montage of them getting ready for the fashion show. Uh, guys? Fairies? Missing? Gonna get on that?
In the meantime, there’s a bit with Ken on a plane sitting next to …the zombie pea actors from earlier, on their way to Veggie con
Okay, that’s funny. …Then we cut back. That only last liked 10 seconds. That night, the Fairies set off a signal so the humans can see it and track them down. …But the animals see it instead. Ugh. They free the fairies and they return home.
…That was way too easy. No one got woken up by their noise or anything? In the end, the fairies being kidnapped was pointless!
That night, Jaqueline has her own fashion show which is way more popular. Wait, it’s been hours and they haven’t notice that the fairies have left? Speaking of which, the negative effects of them doing magic to bad design sets in and they all turn to crap.
“I’ve heard of trashy clothes but this is ridiculous!”
They run off to Millicent’s in hopes of something better, and they get it. Barbie then gives us an inspiriting speech and we finally start the fashion show thingy.
“We call it, A Fashion Fairytale!”
Also, when the dogs come out, they play “Who let the dogs out”. Seriously. The show is a big hit, and Ken finally arrives to apologize to Barbie. This grand gesture is all Barbie needs, so they love each other again. Glad that epic-ness was resolved.
To make it better, one person alone writes them a chick for a butt load of money so they can buy their place back. By the way, they are approached by a high profile critic who came by, and she is voiced by Celestia. You just had to squeeze one more in, didn’t ya? (Although you can’t tell, cuz, like Shanon and Tabitha’s characters, she had a bad French accent).
Jaqueline comes by…and apologies. She’s a good guy now cuz Millicent’s line inspired her.
…Sigh. Now they will all work together. Also, a very minor subplot where Pinkie Pie trying to channel her magic is resolve as she finds out it works when she makes new things.
‘I’m a designer!”
Imagine pinkie pie saying that. Are you laughing like I am?
Then the director guy comes by and offers Barbie a new job. She says she’ll consider because rejecting him would be too mean for her, I guess.
“Barbie, you’re magic!”
So yeah, everyone is happy and they ride off into the night. Roll credits. Oddly enough, I’m okay with how this ended compared to the last two. It felt a bit happier despite the weak plot.
Oh, and apparently this character who wanted to buy the place that I didn’t mention, was voiced by Flash Sentry. No comment. AND the woman at the very very start was Spike, The Zombie Peas were Bulk biceps, and the director was Big Mac. TOO MUCH PONY.
….And there’s a quote from Barbie at the very end. Guess Lavagirl didn’t have any good wisdom that week.
Well…this is the “Best’ one I’ve seen so far. I’ll give it that. …But that’s not saying much. However, I will say this: I got enjoyment out of this one. Yes, some of it was because it was so dumb but it did have some good humor. Hell, this one actually had humor.
The villains, Soanta, and Ken especially give us some fun moments and this one had more of a sense of fun than the others, which were kind of dreary. I even liked a few of the characters, as some were amusing and I did like the lengths Ken went for Barbie. It also had a couple nice nice moments.
Also, the animation is better. Not the best, but…passable.
I also liked the Meta stuff, which made this one kind of fun in a guilty pleasure way. However, it’s pretty flawed.
As usual, the characters are mostly weak. However, some have likable traits and only the animals were annoying. Seriously, they had no reason to be here. But really, the biggest issue was the story.
It was weak and not well paced. It starts out interesting with Barbie’s little story but then it just goes away with some half-baked stuff with Millicent. The fairies feel kind of forced and the villain doesn’t really do anything until halfway through the movie!
Everything is resolved so quickly that it makes all the conflicts pointless. I like some of the morals and the “development” but the story itself is weak and padded. But at least it makes sense and it has a few nice moments.
As a whole this one was still meh. It was still cliché, not well written and had a weak story. However, it actually had energy and a few nice moments. It was kind of enjoyable for its stud pity, which is more than I can say for our last two films. Yes, Thumbelina had a tighter story but it wasn’t that fun while this one had some amusing moments.
I heard some of these movies were So Bad It’s Good, and while this one is no Freddie as Fr07, it was sort of enjoyable in some parts for how dumb it is. And seriously, that meta stuff.
So yeah, not very good but I didn’t hate myself for watching it. Huh, maybe this modern take isn’t too bad after all.
But seriously, this pony thing is crazy. I only mention it a lot cuz it keeps happening! There’s no way they could take this pony thing further.