V/H/S 2

Who knew a movie called VHS 2  would do well in 2013?

Who knew a movie called VHS 2 would do well in 2013?

V/H/S 2 is property of Magnet Releasing

Hello, Spongey here.

Last time, I reviewed the Found Footage Anthology Film “V/HS”. It was a bit uneven, with boring parts and awesome parts. But overall, it was an interesting experiment that I more or less enjoyed it.

It made money so they made a Sequel. I only thing I knew about this one going on is that people liked this one a lot more. Even those who enjoyed the first one thought thus one outclassed it in every way. So, I have high hopes going in here.

There isn’t too much to say before we jump in. Like last time, not many notable writer/actors/directors here. It’s just a simple Found Footage Anthology sequel, and we’ll jump right into it.

Yeah, it’s one of those intros. Let’s see if they creators have learned their lesson from the first film.

This, is V/H/S 2

The movie opens with an Investigator, failing to do his job. He is filming a couple at a motel (which gives us baked breasts. Doesn’t beat 41 Year Old Virgin’s Record, but it’s close) but he is caught and he escapes.

Then we cut to him and his female partners investigating the disappearance of some college kid. …Was that first bit pointless?

They break into the student’s house and find a laptop which has a video of the student talking some tapes he found. Larry, the dude investigator, finds those tapes and pops one in. Well, this is already an improvement in terms of framing narratives. Not great but it should be okay.

Our first segment, called “Phase I Clinical Trials” starts with a dude getting Eye Surgery. He had an accident and had to fix an inured eye. He had special surgey so they put a recording chop in the eye itself to test data, or whatever.

Well, that’s one way to get your found footage. And it fixes the “PUT DOWN THE CAMERA” thing. But how the hell is all this on a VHS tape?

He heads home to try out our cool POV gimmick and of course, creepy things happen. He mostly sees scary screamer faces. He calls his doctor and plans to get his eye fixed tomorrow. Well, he’s dead.

He hears weird noises, which into loud noises. The POV makes this bit pretty intense, despite some jump scares. The noises calm down by morning. A girl from the Doctor’s office shows up, knowing about the creepy stuff he is dealing with.

She reveals she had the same type of surgery but it with her ear, and she started hearing Ghosts. She even heard a little girl crying when she came in. Oh hey, I’m in summarize the movie mode again. Woo-Hoo.

The ghosts become stronger when someone pays attention to them. Even when this special implant is taken out, you will still see the ghosts. How she knows the rules, I don’t know. So she’s likely a bad guy.

Then a really creepy fat dude appears in the big window. Now that’s disturbing. She says she knows a way to stop this…and she starts fucking our hero. ….Okay then.

We cut to later, as he wakes up and faces more screamer faces. Clarissa, the chick is attacked by the ghosts and she dies. Well, she’s dead.. No seriously, she just died.

We get a bunch of suspense as runs around the fucked up house. Finally, he decides to take out his new Eye implant since that will totally get rid of the ghosts that are already here and able to kill people.

Naturally, all this does is give him more pain. Some creepy ghosts attack him and one stuffs the eye camera down his throat. End Segment, Fairly basic, but very well done, I must say,. Creative concept with a solid execution. This is already better than the first one!

Back in the framing story, the Student says you must watch the tapes in a certain order for them to affect you. She puts in the next tape and we move on. Huh, they learned not to give us too much time with crap we don’t care about. Yay!

Segment 2 is called “A Ride In The Park” and it opens with a dude putting on his fancy Go Pro Bike Helmet camera thing. More POV? That’s cool, I suppose. And this quote, from him talking to his wife on the phone, is all you need to know about him:

“You ride that Bike more than you ride me”

He heads off and he sees a hysterical Woman who seems to be in trouble. She vomits all over the place, which is gross. Suddenly, he hears voices behind him.

“I GOT A BIG FUCKING STICK

Oh man, we got a badass over here. HE HAS A BIG FUCKING STICK!

The crazy woman bites him and she’s a Zombie. Dun dun dun! He starts vomiting blood and gets all bloody from the woman’s attack. He falls down and we are treated to silence for a minute. Woo-hoo.

Some bikers come across him and think he’s dead, as he has no pulse and he isn’t moving. One biker calls the authorities about the dead body they found, which is the smartest thing I’ve seen in a horror movie in a long long time.

Suddenly, our camera sporting hero gets up and attacks one of the bikers. Whoa, he’s a crazy zombie…that’s awesome! Cool to see the guy we are following actually become a Zombie in one of those stories. Anyway, he pretty much starts eating away at the dude biker, which is disgusting and awesome. He gets up and now the bikers are zombies,but with weird obviously fake eyes that just make them look silly.

Either way, it’s nice that the zombies got a found footage movie to star in. As the people we follow. They invade a birthday party which means more gore and awesome stuff. But eventually, our main guy sees his reflection and he stops. Naturally, this gives the normal people a chance to attack him.

He pocket dials his girlfriend and she asks if he’s okay. She then simply says “I love you” and hangs up without getting any answers. He then grabs a shotgun and kills himself. Given he’s a Zombie, I’m not sure if it worked.

He’s not moving…so it did. End Segment. Well, that was even better! Not the most original Zombie story, but it was a lot of fun, with great gore effects and one of the best uses of POV I’ve seen in awhile. I dug this one.

After a brief bit in the framing story, we go to Segment 3, called “Safe Haven”. This one’s from the director of The Raid, so it’s gonna be interesting. A news crew is in infiltrating an Indonesian cult, which is something I never thought I would say.

They are talking to one member, who going on about the usual stuff, like a higher plane and Non Believers, and whatever. However, one lady says they plan to do a completely Non-Biased report from the inside, showing the ideals of this guy’s family and all that good stuff.

After some coaxing, he agrees to let them in for the report. Well, they’re dead. They meet his family and they seem rather nice. They head inside their main building, and we see the usual innocent cult stuff.

One of the crew members starts feeling sick and she goes to the bathroom. While she’s gone, the interview with the Head Dude starts but we cut to her so that doesn’t matter for now. On the way, she ends up walking into one of the Classrooms that are there. Suddenly, two woman walk in and start acting creepy.

‘You are very blessed”

While that is going on, the Head Dude says they are washing away the children’s impurities. The guy interviewing him isn’t happy to hear this.

“They will stand by me on the front lines, in front of the pearly gates”

Well, this cult clearly has no weird intentions at all.

The crew woman takes one guy aside to tell him she is preggo, and he’s the father. What a twist? …What’s happening with the head dude?

“It’s time”

Insert Kickassia joke here.

He says some stuff, and he has all of his children of the cult take a cup and drink the liquid within it. While that is going on, one guy (may be the guy from a minute ago, idk) finds this weird room, with a blood soaked tarp that has a woman under it. Through a JUMP SCARE we see that her stomach has been ripped open and something has come out. Now we’re getting somewhere!

The head dude takes his shirt off and threatens the interviewer with a knife. The dude is killed and it’s pretty awesome. I love how he is just casually hums as he walks away, soaked in his blood. It’s hilarious.

Back with that Preggo chick, she bumps into some creepy Asian kids, cuz we need creepy kids to make sure the viewer knows this is creepy. Jokes aside, this is pretty intense

Just then, the cultists start a mass suicide, and one random camera man is attacked. But he grabs a shotgun and fucking blows a dude’s head off! Holy shit, that’s awesome!

…I’m easily impressed.

He’s killed, and we join the chick as she dragged by creepy kids, lead by the blood soaked head dude, who is singing. This segment got awesome really quickly.

The guy who is her baby’s father (See, this is why it’s good to give us names if your story is this long) finds her in a weird room as she is being held down by the kids. He stops the kids but he can’t get the chick out as she is giving birth. She’s covered in blood and her stomach has a weird symbol on it, so you can guess what kind of thing is gonna pop out of her.

And of course, a monster pops of her. A really huge one too, not the small demon spawns you might expect. This is some pretty gruesome stuff, and I love it.

The dude runs away and finds out that the cultists are now zombies. Yeah, more Zombies but at least this time it’s…creative. This whole scene with him running away from the Zombies is pretty intense, actually. The direction alone makes it at least sort of unique, at least more so than than our last Zombie Story.

The dude escapes and runs to his car and it actually starts. A car starting on a horror movie? What is this witchcraft? Of course, that’s not the end as the insanely fast monster catches up to him. And we see the monster’s head.

vhs

Yeah, it looks less silly in full context, but..yeah.

“Papa”

…Well, that’s interesting. The dude laughs his ass off, and our segment ends. …Well, that was kind of awesome. I mean, it was pretty boring/slow at first, but the ending was amazing. It was really creepy, very intense, and full of just awesome things. It was pretty insane, actually.

However, it was way too long. It starts at the 42 minute mark, and it ends at 1 hour, 12 minute mark. The other segments were fairly short, so that makes this weird.. We only have 4 Segment this time, so I get why why needed to be longer, but why make 2 of them shorter, just to make one longer? It’ll only make it feel like more of a slog. But eh, it had a good ending at least.

Back in the Framing story, Larry returns to see that his partner is dead. He sees a tape labeled “WATCH” and he obeys that order. This takes us to our final segment, called “Slumber Party Alien Abduction”. …NEW BEST TITLE EVER.

As the segment starts, we see this is will be from the POV of a camera on a dog’s back.. …That’s really stupid. We see the dog’s owners messing about, as their parents are leaving for the weekend.

Well, they’re gonna throw a wild party. And die at it. But first, They have their younger brothers help them mess with their sister, cuz of course they do it.

“She’s probably gonna shit her vag!”

Did someone just write that and commit that to film?

After a bunch of noise, we have more noise as they scare the sister and her boyfriend with loud music or some shit. The loud-ness doesn’t stop as suddenly the whole room shakes and everyone goes outside to see what is going on.

It turns out to be nothing, so we switch focus to the sister and boyfriend getting back at the boys. Yawn. She uses the camera dog to catch him fapping and she threatens to put it all over the internet.

Everyone is a horrible, annoying person. Who am I suppose to root for? The brother is only slightly more awful. Thankfully, the place shakes again and things get creepy. It’s actually a tad intense for a moment…but in this case I’m too annoyed to care.

Then suddenly, aliens! Yes, some classic looking Gray aliens pops up and take some of the kids. It’s weird, but awesome. We see all this from the dog’s POV, which makes it pretty interesting. This whole part with them running around isn’t too bad, it gets atmospheric and creepy. At least this keeps the trend of having a solid payoff.

The aliens distract them with flashing lights (So if this was a video review, it would need a Seizure warning) and the kids hide in a barn, with the dog. This part mostly focuses on the sister, so at least we have the ….most likable character going through this.

So of course, she’s the first one to be abducted. Bah. Thankfully, the brother is taken soon after. Once again, this is all very intense but with lesser characters, it doesn’t have quite as much impact. The boy drops the dog and it dies. End segment.

Well ,that was easily the weakest Segment. It was just really annoying with unlikable character, but it did have a very creepy payoff. But hey, at least I remember it.

Now let’s end on the framing story. Yeah, our first movie like this to end by ending the framing story. You think this would be common sense, but nope.

The Student explains that him wants to make a tape for himself. He then tries to blow his head off, and fails. It’s…kind of funny. Then the video shows Larry and the chick entering the room. Dun dun dun!

Yep, that happened just before they went in. Keep in mind, the shot was fired like a minute before they entered the room itself. So how the hell did no one hear that?!

Suddenly, the dead partner attacks Larry. More Zombies! This leads to some intense stuff, and it even makes a short jump scare work! Even if it kind of turns into a video game, when Larry shoots the girl as her head pops up.

He hides in the closest which works until the student pops up and kills him. He gives us a thumbs up, and the credits roll. Wow, even the Framing Story was decent! It didn’t go on too long and it ended on a fun note!

Nice. Not much else to comment on, so let’s finish this up.

Final Thoughts:

Now this is exactly what I was hoping for. This beats out the first film on every level possible. I still enjoy that one but this one was awesome. But that’s mostly on an enjoyment, as the film doesn’t break any new grounds in terms of writing.

But each segment was directed, intense, and just awesome. They were a lot of fun with their payoffs, even if they were slightly uneven in places. I can’t really decide a full favorite this time. The first one was the creepiest, the 2nd was the most even in terms of enjoyment, the 3rd was the most insane, and the 4th …okay that isn’t in the completion, but it had a good ending And hell, I’ve seen worse in movies like this.

When even an ennoying segment has something to praise, you know you have a good movie. Yes, the stories weren’t exactly complex or new, but they were all fun to watch and really intense. The direction in each was strong, setting up a good atmpshere and letting loose at the end.

Even the Framing Story works, as they don’t waste too much time with it, in between segments. It’s nothing special but it works in the end.

So overall, I highly recommend this one. While it’s nothing amazing in terms of writing, it’s highly enjoyable and well made. It has a few bumps, but it’s still very good. Again, my grade may seem low but it fits it’s objective quality.

Grade: B+

They made a 3rd one, which is now out on VOD, with a theatrical release next month. I’ll check it out, as long as it’s as good as this one.

Next time, we finally take on The Marked Ones. Yay.

See ya.

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About Spongey444

I'm 20 and I'm a slightly below average man who can barely spell. I mostly spend my time watching TV and movies, hence why i ended doing a blog all about those things. I tend to have weird tastes, but I like think I'm just fair on things.
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