A Fairly Odd Summer

A movie so lame it didn't get a poster big enough for this blog.

A movie so lame it didn’t get a poster big enough for this blog.

Hello, Spongey here.

After…..I don’t even know what, it’s nice to be back to normal. It was so odd not doing regular reviews for a whole month. But that’s all behind us for now.

I’ll come back with a movie….that just came out. Yeah, I haven’t done a TV Movie that just came out in awhile. I did Fred 3 and Fairly odd Christmas right away, while I waited for Cloud 9. I will be waiting for Zapped too, by the way.

Things were different back then, and I didn’t feel the need to wait. But now I just decided to get it out of the way. So let’s talk about the live action Fairly Odd Parents movies. I reviewed A Fairly Odd Chirstmas, so read that review to see my full thoughts.

Short version: First one was bad but had it’s moment, sequel was an improvement. I’m just baffled these movies even exist. Despite the show’s ups and downs, it still had some dignity, until the movie shat all over it. Then they brought in a dog, but that’s a review for another day.

The first two must have done well, cuz a new one just came out. Given what is going with Sam and Cat, and Korra, it was a bad time to come out with a sequel to 2 hated films. It’s getting hard to defend you, Nick. Is this what I get for not hating Breadwinners?

But I’m getting ahead of myself. The first 2 films had their moments, so there’s a good chance this finally be the good one. I’m not one to say a movie sucks before I see it, given I just avoided doing so for a month. (Don’t ask).

And now I must watch it on premiere night as I wrote that before watching it.

One Viewing later

Okay, I didn’t get to see it on premiere night, but I still saw it. let’s review this. No , I won’t spoil my thoughts.

This, is A Fairly Odd Summer

The movie opens in the jungle, with Timmy being chased by Tiki warrior dudes. Well, that’s one way to open a movie. Our Indiana Jones wannabee continues with Timmy getting away from the Tiki dudes and falling into some underground area with more Tiki dudes, who have captured Cosmo and Wanda, and put them over some lava.

Spoilers, it’s all a dream. So I can skip this. It’s kind of cool though, and it has Hot Not Tootie saving them while dressed as Lara Croft or something. After Timmy wakes up from his wet dream, we find out he is working at Fairly World as a Summer Job.

COSMO: Even worse, you have a summer job! What a loser.

Wow, Cosmo is a prick.

“Tootie has that cool summer job where she helps helpless creatures”

Exposition!

“What girl doesn’t love a guy in the yuck disposal business?”

Christ, You trying to outdo Cloud 9?!

After we get a look a CGI Fairy World (it looks okay), we cut to Mr Crocker back in Dimmesdale. He’s a bad guy again, ruining his development from the last one. Yay. His Mom forced him to go to Hawaii to take care of his…problem. Before we get time with the best actor, we cut to these rich kids in a limo with their neglectful parents.

“I can’t believe we’re actually going to Hawaii!”

NC/CASPER: Exposition Exposition, rush it out ASAP…

“This family vacation is long overdue”

These kids are Marty and ….girl, and their rich parents are always too busy being ….rich to do anything with them. Then a thing comes up and they have to go do a thing. They tell the kids they will go to Hawaii on their own.

I know what you are thinking. What does this dumb, cliché, bullshit, have to do with the plot? As a wise man once said..

“NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!’

Seriously, there’s this whole subplot with these kids that has nothing to do with anything. Oh, they interact with the main plot, but it feels tacked on and pointless. They only do one thing in this movie, and that’s the end. Oh god, we’ll get to that.

They call a nanny to take care of the kids. Said Nanny is Vicky. Joy. Weird to see her get screen time after she only had one cameo in the first one. She feels nothing like Vicky despite acting like her. Does that make sense?

Back to the actual plot, Timmy visits Tootie at her research center thingy. Cuz remember, she’s that cuz person now even though she wasn’t in the cartoon. Like at all. This is Tootie in name only. We find out that she and Professor Butterfarts (fucking really) made something that can curse a disease affecting dolphins.

“Guess what Butterfarts created out of thin air! …Gas!”

Ugh.

“Tootie, I’ve choosen you to pass my gas”

Bah.

He gives her a tube thing with her gas in it, and she’s going to Hawaii for the summer to deal with it. Yeah, for some reason everyone is going to Hawaii through the power of contrivance. Hell, even Timmy’s parents are going there because his pencil company is having a retreat there. At first I thought maybe there was a reason but nope, it’s just bad writing.

Timmy’s Dad has to arrange some fire dance thing, and he has been trusted with a whole lotta money, to do so. The check actually says “Whole lotta money” Heh.

But he if he doesn’t pull it off, he’s fired. Yeah ,this plot line goes nowhere, but I’ll explain more later. Timmy goes back to Fairy World, as we find out time moves slower there. This was never established, and it has nothing to do with anything.

Jorgen pops up and says he’s off to Hawaii and while he’s gone, Timmy must take over his job. His job is protecting this Abracadrauim thing, which powers the big wand that powers fairy world. Because Timmy has always proven to do everything right, right?

With that, we meet Foop aka Anti Poof. Yep, he’s in this movie because clearly the other members of the Rouge’s Gallery weren’t modern enough. Jokes aside, Foop is one of the more enjoyable parts of the film, even if he just evil to be evil. He’s speaking to the Anti-Fairy council of Emperor/Beast knock offs, as he must get the MacGuffium to take over Fairly World or whatever.

Okay, let’s count the plot lines:

1. Timmy is having a boring summer.
2. Tootie is doing stuff for this dude.
3. Timmy’s Dad must do a fire dance thing.
4. Foop wants a mcguffin
5. These kids are dealing with Vicky.

Yeah, now you know the movie’s main problem,. It suffers from TMSGOS. It stands for TOO MUCH SHIT GOING ON SYDROME. While it does kind of come together in the end, it really feels too frantic at times. Hell, you could cut out Tootie’s stuff, Dad’s stuff, and the rich kids, and focus on Timmy, Foop, and Crocker and the movie would be much better. Not good but better.

Back with Timmy, he finds out that Dad accidentally left the check in Timmy’s lunchbox. On top of that, Tootie’s Tube of gas got left with him as well. Yeah, this stuff is just there to get him to Hawaii, cuz clearly there’s no easy way to do that which doesn’t clutter the plot.

Timmy has to stay there to keep an eye on the MacGuffin but he says the wand has backup power, which they can use while he brings the MacGuffin with him. Okay, they make him leave so the big orb can get in the villains hands. You could just boil it down to one thing to get him to leave. It’s not hard.

Anyway, Crocker arrives in Hawaii and meets with this guy who leads a seminar for crazy people. One of the crazy people is a guy who sees a flying elephants. He’s played by Butch Hartman. No comment. This goes nowhere, but Crocker actually feeds into Foop’s plot, so I let it out.

Yeah, Crocker bumps into Foop and they quickly find out that they both hate Timmy.

“We’re finishing each others-”

ANNA: Sandwiches!

“Sentences”

Whatever.

So the two team up to take over Fairly World, and stuff. Their stuff is the most enjoyable of the plots, but even that isn’t all too amazing. After some filler, Timmy gets the check back to his Dad. SUSPENSE.

Then Timmy gets the tube back to Tootie and this other guy. Again, SUSPENSE.

“I will let Butterfarts know that you have succeeded in passing Butterfarts gas”

PATRICK: BOO!

With that resolved, Foop and Crocker find a lair in the form of cave connected to a Volcano, which has this thingy that has lava that can possibly destroy the McGuffium. Back in the main plot, Timmy decides it’s time for some padding, in the form of a fun vacation montage, set to “Vacation” because using that song didn’t die out I guess.

Pretty much nothing happens for the next few minutes, except for Crocker trying to get Timmy’s McGuffin. And a bit with those rich kids that is stupid. Then Foop turns into a human so he won’t attract attention. That and they needed to out stupid the human Cosmo and Wanda from the first film. That’s interesting so of course they cut away for more fun with the rich kids, as they run away from Vicky and bump into Timmy.

They introduce each other, and tell Timmy about Vicky. You know, with the Tootie and Dad stuff done with the movie gets more focused, but it also gets more boring and repetitive, and the only thing shaking it up is this pointless stuff.

I admit, the Crocker stuff is fun at first but I just got bored at this point, and I’m bored while re-watching it. Eventually, Timmy accidentally leaves the bag with the McGufifin on the beach and Crocker gets it. Wah wah.

To make it worse, Jorgen pops up and he finds out that it’s gone. But he can’t go help get it due to some contrivance so dumb I won’t explain it. Tootie bumps into the rich kids who saw Crocker steal the McGuffin. Okay, they helped out here but anyone could have done that.

After some stuff, Crocker and Foop take the thingy to their Volcano Lair, just in them for this evil moon to pop up so they start their plan. Soon, this, pit thing is filled with lava.

POOP: Hot and deadly, just like me!

“Well, you’re kinda cute, I wouldn’t say hot”

Foop is a baby. Ew.

Anyway, now Crocker has to throw the McGuffium in the lava cuz Foop can’t touch it.

“You’re doing this cuz I told you, and after that, I’ll destroy you because you’ll be of no use to me!”

Really? That cliché? That was rushed and so stu-

“I love saying everything I’m thinking out loud”

….Okay, that was funny,

Then, the Abracadraium suddenly makes Crocker’s heart grow 3 sizes. HARDY HAR HAR.
But seriously, the good-ness of it overtakes him because Waffles. I’m sick of this evil guy turns good stuff, especially if it’s twice in the same trilogy!

“I was wrong to want to destroy the fairy universe”

He’s gonna turn evil again in the next one (You know you’ll make 6000 more) so who cares?

Tootie and kids pop up to see this but before he can give the orb back to them, Foop does this thing that strands them in the lava. Then Timmy pops up to save the day. Foop tries to knock the McGuffin into the Lava….and Vicky pops up for no reason.

Seriously, all she does is get knocked out. Why is she even in this movie?

And yes, we are at the climax. Here’s the thing: The movie is pretty short, and I skipped a lot. I normally skip stuff, but I actually forwarded my TV recording of it, even though I always watch it again even if I saw it before the review. But this time, a lot of was pointless, I wanted to just get it over with.

This movie isn’t even that bad, but I was short on time, so here we are. Trust me, you are not missing anything. Timmy saves his friends, but Foop still grabs the orb thing. Even though he is hurt by it, he doesn’t care if it means he wins. That’s dedication, right there.

Timmy and Foop fight over it, until Timmy grabs it and falls into the lava.

Well, that was a dark ending. Hey, that has to be the ending. No one survives Lava, not even in a live action cartoon.

“Oh, I’m so sad. I just lost a good friend that I wanted to destroy”

This bit would be effective….except it’s rushed. Why? Because of what happens next,

WARNING: WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ/SEE IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT

Ready? Okay.

Something comes out of the lava and lands in the bag What is the thing? Timmy.

‘Timmy, what happened to you?”

“I know what happened. When you fell into the lava with the Abracadbraium, the heat must have made you absorb some of it’s power. Now you’ve got magical abilities of you’re own!’

“I’m just like you guys! This is awesome!”

Timmy….is now a fairy.

….I would do the mental breakdown shit, but I’m tired and this isn’t worth my anger this time. I’ll just explain why is stupid. Forgetting the fact that the explanation makes no sense, let’s focus on the real issue. In the first movie, Timmy almost learned the whole growing up lessons, but he was allowed to keep his fairies. That pissed me off because if made all the development seen in the show and movie pointless.

This, is just as bad. I heard a lot of hate for the ending before I saw the movie. I had the ending spoiled for me, and in context, it’s even worse. All those years we spent seeing Timmy learn about growing up and learning and stuff? Fuck you, he’s a fairy now.

Yeah, it’s a pretty big insult to the series and stuff. Not to mention the unfortunate implications of all this. Is he gonna have to get god kids of his own? Is he gonna live in Fairly World now? What’s gonna happens with his parents since you obliviously can’t know yet will question where Timmy he if he doesn’t pop up?

And most importantly….what’s gonna happen with him and Tootie? I do NOT want to know about the legality of Human/Fairy romance….or Human/Fairy….you know what. Did they even try to think this through when they wrote it?!

Whatever, let’s….try to wrap this up.

Tootie is cool with this, and so are the kids Because I don’t care anymore. Also, Crocker’s memory has been erased and he doesn’t seem to be all that good anymore. Boo, you suck.

“Well, than that happened”

Everyone is happy about Timmy being a fairy because they are stupid. Jorgen pops up and reminds us that he doesn’t need Cosmo and Wanda anymore. But the fairies will go to the rich kids, giving them a point in this movie. Eh, whatever.

With that, the rich kids get fairies and not a single fuck was given that day. They go Timmy’s Dad’s work thing, and Timmy poof’s up a fire dance. Well, that kind of had a point, but does anyone even care?

Dad’s boss is happy and the rich kids tell their parents that they love Vicky. Also she got turned into a bunny with a horrible CGI face. Yay.

TOOTIE: This is gonna take some getting used to.

Fairies live forever. Humans do not. Do the math.

They all dance, we pan out and the movie ends with Foop being hurt. Yes, it just kind of ends. No real wrap up to distract us from that crappy ending. Whatever, I just want to end this anyway. At least the outtakes in the credits are funny.


Final Thoughts:

I seemed rather different in this review, than in my Fairly Odd Christmas review. I seemed rather cranky when I didn’t really not angry at the other films for the most part. This may due to the fact that I got moving stuff IRL to deal with (which is settled as I type this part) but it’s mostly because the film just kind of bored me compared to the other ones.

Before I compare it, I’ll just review it as a movie. It’s pretty weak. The plot is fine, I suppose, but it’s way too cluttered and it’s very basic in the end. There are no twists or anything interesting, really. There is little to no development going on with the characters, which is why I will not go over them.

Well okay, everyone is the same, but the rich kids are pointless, Crocker is okay but his story was pathetic, and Foop is just there.

They are fun, and the acting did improve but the film does feel kind of empty except for the crazy stuff….and the ending. The ending just sucked, as it made no sense and made the whole series, even the previous films pointless.

As for the rest of the movie, it’s just….there. While the other films may be objectively worse (mostly) at least they stood out. I even enjoyed parts of them. This one was just dull, despite how crazy it is.

I should care more, even in a negative way, but I just….don’t. Everything is just meh, except minor parts that suck, as well as the ending. It’s far from the worst thing Nick has ever shown but it’s still lame.

I thought I would say more going on, but I don’t. It’s just….there. And seriously, what were they thinking with that ending?

Grade: D-

I was way more bitter than I thought I would be with this one. Whatever, I don’t think anyone cares. Next time, we do a movie I care a bit more about, and it’s another one  made for the small screen.

Yes, it’s a DCOM.

See ya.

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About Spongey444

I'm 20 and I'm a slightly below average man who can barely spell. I mostly spend my time watching TV and movies, hence why i ended doing a blog all about those things. I tend to have weird tastes, but I like think I'm just fair on things.
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