Hello, Spongey here.
Before I move and then make my epic return, I figured I might as well fit in another TV review. Sadly, it’s of a Family Guy episode.
The worst Family Guy episode I’ve seen thus far.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. The last time I talked about Family Guy, they killed off Brian in a cheap way, then brought him back after one episode without him. Yeah.
I think I said my stance on Family Guy back there, but I’ll say it again. There was a time when I was willing to defend it and Mr Macfarlane (See R.A.Q. And Ted review) but that time is long gone. Well, the first part anyway. I’ll still say you shouldn’t act like he’s Satan or something.
Much like any show that lasts for too long, it used to be good, but now it’s crap. And unlike Spongebob where you’ll get at least a few good ones for every turd, you’ll lucky to get a watchable one every once in awhile. I like a few Modern FG episodes (Back to the pilot, And then where were fewer, the big bang theory), they can’t make up for crap like this.
I obviously still have respect for the people who work on it, but I still say it kind of sucks now. I knew I was gonna review some episodes back when I did Life of Brian, and this was at the top of my list, based on the AV Club Review.
Then I watched it. Yeah, I’m reviewing this thing.
This episode is in Season 12, which may very well be the worst Season of the series. I mean, not only did it have Life of Brian/Christmas Guy, but it also has Herpie the love sore, where Brian gives Stewie herpes, Brian’s a bad Father, which lives up to it’s name, and of course, Fresh Heir, in which Peter tries to marry to his son.
That actually happened.
I’ve heard “Meg Stinks” is good but the stuff I’ve seen so far is….not. And speaking of Meg, she’s the star of this stinker, so let’s talk about her. I like a good butt monkey, but there’s a difference between a Butt Monkey and Meg. If you think Squidward Torture is bad, just check out Meg abuse.
Unlike Squid, who has an excuse, being a grumpy guy. Meg is very normal. Yet for some reason, everyone treats her like treat. It may have been okay at first, but now it’s awful. This episode would be the apex of all that, if it wasn’t for Seahorse Seashell Party, where they say she NEEDS to be abused for the family to function.
But this episode is pretty bad too, for reasons that will be clear when I get into. I’m sorry for stalling, but I don’t wanna watch this thing again. But , I must. Let’s see how FG topped Fresh Heir for me.
This, is A Fistful of Meg
Writers: Dominic Bianchi and Joe Vaux
(You know you’re show is boned when the theme song is the only part you’re happy to see)
After our first cutaway, the episode starts with Brian and Peter. Peter talks to Brian about The Three Little Pigs being gay while he gets naked. Lovely. After another cutaway, we abruptly cut to Meg at school.
She opens her locker to see…a baby.
“What are you doing out of your box?”
There’s another cutaway and we find out there’s a new kid at school who is a big bully.
“I heard he knifed a kid on the playground, then beat up the knife”
…Okay, that was funny.
After a joke with said bully that ends weirdly, we cut back to the house for our subplot. Peter makes Brian see him naked. That’s it. That’s the subplot. LAME!
(Also, another cutaway happens)
Back at school, Meg bumps into the bully, and he gets pissed.
“What’s your name?”
CHRIS: Meg Griffin!
I hate you.
Meg goes home and after more Naked Peter shit, we cut to the next day as we find out the whole school is promoting Meg’s fight.
“All wagers for Meg Griffin’s slaughter must be on my desk by thursday. Also, Zack Morris, if you could stop freezing time to talk to the camera, the day would go a lot faster”
Okay, the 2nd part was funny, but what the fuck?! This is what I’m talking about. It’s one thing for her family to hate her, but literately the whole world wants her dead. It’s not funny, it’s just cruel!
After a cutaway, Meg tells Lois she wants to move.
“Just because a facebok page has over 2,000 likes, doesn’t mean you have to kill yourself”
Yes, there’s a Facebook campaign to get her to kill herself. That was first mentioned in any episode where she kind of tries to get Chris raped.
That was Meg’s Little Yellow Book. Now I can’t like her. FUCK YOU ALL.
That goes nowhere, and after another cutaway., Meg comes out with a sex tape so she can get expelled. It only gets 1 view. CUZ MEG IS UGLY GET IT.
There’s another cutaway (GODDAMIT IT STOP IT WITH THE FUCKING CUTAWAYS), and Meg pays some dudes to beat up Mike. It goes about as well as you’d expect. Meaning, Mike kills them.
….That’s….dark. Shouldn’t be expelled for that shit?
There’s a cutaway involving Meg’s funeral, and she talks to her friends that only exist when the plot calls for it.
“We decided maybe it’s best if you don’t talk to us anymore”
“We could be targeted by association”
Of course they ditch her. We can’t let Meg be happy for one second!
Thankfully, Meg may have found help in the form of…Quagmire.
“This is may base of operation”
It’s funny cuz he’s a pedophile and a rapist.
He tells her he’s gonna help her fight Mike. Cuz he’s the first person who could help out in a fight. Later on, he explains why he wants to help her.
As a kid, he was beat up by a girl for drinking RC Cola. Don’t ask.
“You know what else RC stands for? Chick rule!”
“She was dyslexic”
“That was the beginning of a long and abusive relationship. To this day I can’t have sex with a woman against her will without thinking of rape”
….Quagmire is the way he is due to an abusive relationship ….There’s so much I can say but so little time. For one, you just made “Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q”., more awkward than it already was. Also, you played abuse relationship straight there but play it for laughs here. Hypocrisy, thy name is Family Guy.
So Quagmire is gonna help Meg, and after another cutaway, we continue the Naked Peter stuff. He keeps trying to creep Brian out with his body. It’s not funny.
STEWIE: He won’t stop until he’s stopped.
Stewie suggests Brian go nude to get revenge. By that I mean he must shave off his fur. …Another cutaway gets my mind off that image. Back in the main plot, Quagmire comes up with an idea that will help Meg.
“Your weird body can be a dangerous weapon if used properly”
And now we’re at the part that pisses me off…kind of, that’s later but it starts here. It’s one thing for her to be picked on by her own family for no reason. It’s one thing for the school to want her dead.
But it’s another for their hate to be VALIDATED like that. They are flat out saying Meg IS the grossest thing ever. And spoilers, her method works. Not only are they abusing a (mostly) innocent character, but they are pretty much giving her tormentors a REASON to pick on her.
I could take the abuse, but I’m not okay with her “awful-ness” being true. It’s cruel, it’s mean, it’s mean spirited, and most of all, IT’S NOT FUNNY!
It may not seem like a big deal now, but my god, it gets worse later.
Back at the Griffin house, Peter tries to scare Brian again only to get a faceful of fur less Brian. It’s just as awful as it sounds. Seriously, it’s incredibly hard to look at it. There is a point but it’s way more disturbing than funny.
It gets worse when Chris sees Brian and starts tearing at his face, giving us more bloody awful visuals. Peter agrees to stop being nude. Well, that useless plot is over but we’re not done with the awful-ness yet.
Now, it’s time for the big fight. It starts out badly, with good ol’ Meg abuse. Then…
‘Remember what I taught you. Use the gross”
She does. She kisses him, flings weird green shit at him, and takes off her shirt. This has an Arc of the Covenant effect and his entire body melts. It’s way grosser than whatever her body looks like.
You know, I should be happy that Meg actually stopped one of her abusers, and actually won, but I’m not. Because they had to derail her character and make my eyes burn to do this.
…Then she tells us that she died a year later and everyone thought it was gross. ….Wow, the one small bit I could praise is flushed down the toilet. Lovely.
To close us out, we get more furless Brian as Stewie dresses him up as him to make him easier to look at.
CHRIS: Hi Stewie and…STEWIE?!
“This is next weeks story. Get there!”
Not after this shit. At least it’s over.
…Huh, that was shorter than I remember. At least it wasn’t as drawn out as Fresh Heir or even Life of Brian. Guess that’s one good thing I can say about it.
Admittedly, Fresh Heir may be worse, but for some reason, I hated this one more. Yes, it’s not as horrifying as other episodes, and it has some amusing moments, but I hate it on principal alone.
The B Plot was just pointless and weak, and it ends with some truly awful visuals. But at least that one was just dumb which is a step up from the truly terrible main plot. Not only do we get jokes about abuse, and some of the worst Meg abuse in awhile, but they make the awful choice of having her win due to her gross-ness.
It’s cool to see Meg win, but it’s not due to any positive qualities she has. It’s because she sucks. It’s one thing to turn a weakness into a strengths, but this is another thing all together. It’s almost making her abuse JUSTIFIED. And yes, SSP did that too but at least Meg herself escaped the mess unscathed for the most part.
This episode however, makes her gross-ness 100 percent true. Other episodes, but not as bad as this one. And top it off, it ends with more cruelty, just in case we thought they would let Meg off easy.
It’s not as offensive as Not All Dogs to Heaven. It’s not as equally offensive/confusing as Family Gay. It’s not as tasteless and uncomfortable as Screams of Silence, but due to making an overly abused character just as bad as people say she is, this is my most hated Family Guy episode.
Like I said, there are worse, but this just pushed my buttons more. I’m sure I’ll find worse episodes, in this Season alone, but for now, this is the bottom of the barrel.
Before I go, I must say this. Seth appears in the Phineas and Ferb episode Nerds of a Feather, and his character chastises Doof for lazy writing.
LOOK WHOSE TALKING
Yikes, now I actually can’t wait for Fairly Odd Summer to air. But whatever, at least it wasn’t Ren Seeks Help. NO I WON’T REVIEW THAT DON’T ASK.