(I just realized that I skipped Mr Enter for the guy that introduced me to him. Weird. Anyway, he has quite a few shows, and I picked the one that tackles bad episode of good kid’s shows. Yay)
Elseworlds Month Universe 714B-Kids are Smarter than This:
I like Wizards of Waverly Place, so you shouldn’t be shocked that I like Pair of Kings.
Pair of Kings ran on Disney XD from 2010 to 2013, and it was about two brothers, played by Mitchell Musso and Doc Shaw, that become kings of the Island of Kinkow for reasons I won’t get into. To help them handle the Island is Mason, the royal advisor, his daughter Mikayla, who Brady has a crush on, and Lanny, their cousin who was going to rule the Island until Boomer and Brady came along.
He mostly tries to kill them so he can take over the throne. You know, for kids!
On the surface, this show looks like your typical Disney Sitcoms, where the leads are assholes and the humor sucks. However, the show is actually kind of decent!
The main reason is the Story and character development. Not only does the Island have an interesting culture that leads to good jokes and world building, but our leads actually grow as the show goes on.
In the pilot alone, they try to fix the mess they made and actually prove to be decent rulers. It’s not just them being assholes. It’s all about them becoming good rulers, even if Boomer is a bit better than Brady.
While they can suffer from Aosep Amnesia, they do prove to be likable, and in episodes like Pair of Santas, they do nice things without having to be provoked.
This show impressed me with how good it was at character development. The Season 2 finale is another great showcase for that. But of course, there has to be a few duds in there that derail all of that.
Most people would want me to tackle the Season 3 premiere, where they spit in the face of character development, so they can kick off Mitchel Musso when they should have just ended the show.
But honestly, that one isn’t THAT bad, and I give the writers credit for TRYING to salvage this Dead on arrival idea. Besides, it’s not very annoying, unlike the episode we’re discussing today.
Instead, I’m looking at the Season 2 episode No Rhyme or Treason
Let’s see what happens when your so called hero suffers Derailment.
The episode starts with Boomer seeing Brady dressed as the king of the ocean. Wait, what?
“Mikalya loves the ocean right? Well I’m dressed as the kind of the ocean, she has to love me. It’s called logic bro. Look it up”
“No, that’s called desperation. Look THAT up”
I love it when the show does my job for me. At least he didn’t do something really stupid like put a live octopus under her pillow-he did, didn’t he?
….We’re only a minute in and already Brady is already starting to lose his likability.
“Why are you always trying to flirt with me? It kind of creeps me out”
Do I even need to be here? “
You’re not the one standing behind him. Those tights are showing off Neptune’s great barrier reef!”
“I didn’t hear you, I was naming our future children”
. ..We haven’t even gotten to the theme song yet. This won’t end well.
This causes Mikayla to put her foot down and say if this doesn’t stop, their relationship will be strictly professional. Well, I have my vote for best character in the whole show now.
And then Lanny shows up. Oh good, maybe he can bring some humor to this.
“Ah, the sun’s shining, the birds are singing. I don’t even hate the king’s today!”
And the Octopus lands on his face and he falls down. …Wow, you had to fit in some Unnecessary Cruelty while you were at it?
I mean, I know he’s the villain, but he usually deserves it. Here, he’s fine. He didn’t even want to do anything evil! Whatever.
After the theme song, Brady starts hiding from Mikayla because it’s hard not to flirt with her. Or you could take a freaking hint and just not be creepy. Is it that so hard?
“Every time like you feel like blurting out that mental garbage, just bite your lounge.”
MAKAYLA: I got a new dress, what do you think?
Yes, say that to the guy you want NOT to flirt with you. That makes sense!
She follows that up by thanking Brady for not saying anything dumb recently. Oh the irony! She invites them to a poetry slam, which on Kinkow is very literal. If the Islanders don’t like the poem, they body slam the poet.
…Okay, that’s awesome. I would totally go to that.
We cut to the Slam, which is exactly as she described. But as a special surprise, she goes up there to recite a poem. The poem sucks but she doesn’t get body slammed because she kicks the slammer guys asses.
Wow, this episode is starting to get good! …Something stupid is gonna happen.
“Ahh, I have no more tongue to bite! You guys see that? My woman just hugged me! …You’re butterfly might be kissing the sky, but mine gives me hugs. Hug me again, Island Girl.”
….And any likability he has left just flew right out the window. So far, he has made no effort to fix his problem, and he won’t take a freaking hint. It’s not funny, it’s annoying….and kind of creepy.
And believe it or not, he gets worse later on. Mikayla body slams him, thank god, and slams him verbally for what he did.
“I told you we wouldn’t be friends if you kept flirting with me. You kept flirting with me, so what does that mean?”
“That….we’re meant to be together”
I hate you.
“It means we’re no longer friends” Again, favorite character.
After more Lanny torture, Maykala makes good on her promise and ignores Brady. But she does invite Boomer to the Slam that night.
“Just because you and I aren’t friends, doesn’t mean Boomer and I can’t be”
True, but perhaps inviting your Ex-Friend’s brother to anything in front of him is a bad idea, considering how he is.
But yes, you have every right to be friends with Boomer, which is why I am with her as she slams Brady for being a dick about it.
Seriously, at no point in this episode has Brady been the slightest bit likeable. I guess I get what they were trying to do, but none of this is funny so it doesn’t even have Rule of funny working for it.
Boomer, against Brady’s wishes, goes to the slam with Mikayla that night. Sadly, even this goes downhill as the next poet body slammed is an old lady.
“That was close, I did not want to hear the end of that”
Abuse to the Elderly is hilarious, right?
It goes even more downhill when Brady shows up, having figured out they were there.
Once again, Boomer and Mikayla slam him with logic and he doesn’t listen. There is only one fully unlikable character here, and yet that one guy ruins this entire episode.
Since he can’t stop them from being friends, he makes Poetry illegal. Because that’s the only place they could possibly hang out, right?
Is there really no way to ban two people from hanging out? Oh wait, Boomer’s also the king, that makes sense. Dang it!
“You know what, bro? You’re gone too far. You’re no longer friends with Mikayla, and now you’re not friends with me.”
This may the first time the character I yell at actually gets what he deserves. Look, I get that they are making a “Dramatic” story out of this, but it doesn’t work when your hero being a dick is hard to watch.
I’m glad people are having the right reaction to his actions, but it doesn’t his actions fun to watch at all. Either make it funny, or do what Adventure Time’s “Frost and Fire” did and give him an excuse for doing what he did. Whatever, let’s move on.
After the commercial, Boomer tells Brady he can’t outlaw poetry with his consent, since they are both kings. And then Brady pulls out a piece of paper, and asks Boomer to sign it, saying it’s an autograph.
And now the Idiot stick has hit Boomer. How sad.
“You have just signed the No Poetry policy into law”
Seriously, how dumb do you have to be to fall for that?
In retaliation Boomer sets up a secret poetry slam in the jungle that night. Secret poetry slam, that’s something I never thought I would see.
Lanny just happens to see this and tells Brady about it. Also, Brady is pretending a Pelican is Makalya. …Moving on.
Back at the slam, Boomer recites a poem of his own which is about Brady.
“Now I’m friends with the girl he misses, while he’s at home getting pelican kisses”
How does he know about that?
“If he would just be her friend, all this would end, cuz I really miss my twin”
Hey, that’s kind of sweet-and Brady shows up to body slam him before he can hear the last part. Goddammit, Brady!
“I almost had the perfect poem, and you ruined it” ‘
I really am shocked that Brady hasn’t been likable for even a second yet. I mean seriously.
They attempt to fix that when Brady gets out a poem of his own. “
A heart that wants someone, I know I can’t have. A heart that would rather annoy that girl, then by broken by her.. I apologize for my heart, but it and I can never be apart”
That’s sweet….until you realize he’s trying to justify being a creepy dick. Lanny shows up, and after a line so dumb I won’t even show it, Brady is put under house arrest for what he did.
“I guess I deserve this”
You know I don’t like Makayla like that.”
“It’s just so easy for you to hang out around her and act cool. Why can’t I do that?”
“Because, you do like her like that”
….Well, this is interesting. Are you saying that there was actually a point to him being so unlikable? This whole time, he had to be a dick as part of his development?
That’s….impressive. Most of the time a bad episode has no excuse for being bad, but this kind of does. I have to give them credit. This almost kind of works.
But I’ll get into why this really doesn’t at the end.
Brady talks to Mikayla outside. She has him eat frozen yogurt, to make sure he doesn’t say anything stupid during her following speech. Keep that in mind.
“I miss having you as a friend. I think deep down, you’re a really great guy. I mean deep deep down. We’re talking China deep.”
You think that bit ruined it?
After she leaves, Brady spits out his Fro Yo, as he has Brain Freeze.
“I didn’t hear a word she said”
….Wow. Just wow. You had an excuse for the character derailment, but you flush it all away with this. Not only does she screw up her apology, by saying he’s only a good guy really deep down, but he doesn’t hear anything she says.
Way to screw it all up, guys. Bravo. And after more Lanny torture, including a bad CGI octopus, the episode ends.
This episode …kind of sucked.
While it has it’s amusing moments, and I see what they were trying to do with, it just doesn’t work.
While Brady’s crush can be annoying and creepy at times, he’s never been THIS much of an unlikable prick. He never takes a hint, he keeps doing what he’s doing, he bans poetry just to stop Boomer from hanging out with Mikayla and he’s just unlikable all the way through.
That’s the biggest issue I have with the episode. I can take some of the dumber jokes and the Lanny Torture porn, but I can’t tolerate Brady here. The worst is the ending.
It seems like him being a dick was just part of the show’s usual good development. It’s like they were using the show’s strength to fix a weakness, but that all goes downhill when Maykla flat out says he’s only a good guy really deep down, and he doesn’t even what she said.
Yes, he doesn’t do anything too bad, and it’s kind of her fault, but the fact that she did that to stop him from being creepy is kind of telling.
There’s nothing worse than an episode, or anything, that ruins whatever praise I had with the ending. Overall, it doesn’t quite get to me as much as it should, (probably because annoying things get less annoying on a third viewing), but thanks to some major derailment and that ending, it’s a stupid episode you should all skip.
But, if you can tolerate Disney Sitcom stuff, I recommend the rest of the series. Even the 3rd season. It’s on Netflix Instant if you’re curious.
Thank you all for watch-er…reading, and I will see you all next time. Bye.
Kids are Smarter than This belongs to Kyle Northup
(This one was fun to do. I picked this episode at random, and because I feel more strongly about the show it belongs to than the other candidates I had. And yes, I have seen it 3 times now. 1st time was when I watching the show for my Disney XD thing. 2nd was for this month awhile ago, and of course 3rd was for the review just now. As a side note, this makes The New King worse, as Brady just leaves after she hints she doesn’t like him, where he won’t leave her alone. Whatever, this is still the worse episode.)
(Next, I give Animated Atrocities another shot. Don’t worry, it’s not Brickleberry. But it’s still kind of awful)
ELSEWORDS MONTH WILL CONTINUE