Okay, cross the red wire with the blue thing, and put the dohickey in the weird thing and-
Oh, didn’t…see you….reading this….from here. Somehow. I was working on…a thing. ….Look, a thing!
Hello, Spongey here.
So, we’re getting entry in Micheal Bay’s Transformers franchise. Sure, it has Marky Mark, Dinobots, and Not Karata from Last Airbender, but it’s sure to be the same film yet again. But it doesn’t have Sam’s parents, so it’s already the best movie ever made.
But of course, we’re not talking about that today. No, we’re talking about some GOOD Transformers! We shall be looking at a 2013 film based on popular Hub Network reboot series.
….No, not that one.
When it comes to Transfomers shows,, I’m only vaguely familiar with the original and 2010’s Transformers Prime. I’m sure I’ll get hate for that, but there you go. With The Hub came some original shows, most of which were attempts to revive old brands.
Besides you know what, they resurrected Transformers with Prime. It was meant to be a fresh, basic start instead of some of the more ambitious revivals. I’ve heard some people critize the show as Basic compared to Beast Wars and the like. Well, I haven’t seen the other shows so I can’t really say.
However, I can defend the series, as it’s meant to be a fresh start, so course it’s gonna be basic. And it only starts out basic. By the third Season, it’s a pretty different beast together. Describing the series is diffuclt, so I’ll end up saying everything in the review proper.
Basicly, it’s the stuff you know. These two races of Robots waged a war, their planet blue up, and now they are fighting on Earth. Here, they have some human companions to help out. There’s Jack, voiced by Josh Keaton, the normal one that some call generic. There’s Rafeel, the nerdy one, and Miko, the wacky one that fans hate.
They’re big ally is some government dude voiced by Ernie Hudson. Yes, really. I just wanted to mention him. I’ll explain some of the robots in the film proper. I explained the humans cuz they are not in the movie.
….Wait….a Transformers movie…..with no humans.
Seriously, how idd it take this long for them to get it right? Granted, the humans worked well in the series cuz the humans were likely and they never overshadowed the robots. But still, it’s amazing that they finally got rid of the damn humans.
Anyway, let’s set up the movie. It’s the final movie, so this will be SPOILERS for the show, if you haven’t seen it.
Through some events too complicated to get into, Megatron is killed (MAKING FAMILY FUN), Bumblebee gets his voice back (and he sounds like Ron Stoppable, who knew?), Cybertron is brought back to it’s former glory, and the robots move there to do some clean up.
And that’s where we are. Also, there are these robots called Predacons and I think this movie involves Predaking, based on the title. I actually haven’t watch the film yet, so this should be fun.
Will it be another dumb entry in this long running franchise, or will it be more than meets the eye? Let’s find out!
This, is Transformers Prime Beast Hunters: Predacons Rising
I think there’s unwritten role that every Transformers movie must open with Optimus narrating, cuz that’s how this movie opens. Optimus (Peter Cullen) tells us that Cybertron has finally been restored. It turns out he’s saying this to his buddies.
These buddies Bulkhead, the big one, voiced by Kevin Micheal Richardson, and Arcee, the female one. They are here to acknowledge Bubblebee’s bravery in getting rid of Megatron (Frank Welker).
But of course, we cut to Megatron’s dead body on the ocena floor. Suddenly, Megatron wakes up and he is face to face with Unicorn. After the show’s intro (They were too lazy to make a new one, I guess), Unicorn explains that Megatron cannot become “one with the All spark” cuz his blood once flowed through his veins.
Don’t ask, it’s a long story. Unicorn is this big badass dude, and you may know him from the 80’s movie where he was voiced by Orson Welles. Yes. Unicorn was banishing to the Earth’s core, but through some stuff too complicated to summarize, he’s here talking to Megatron.
Unicorn wants to come back but he can only do that with the help of Megatron. By that I mean he will posses his body. Wah wah.
Back on Cybertron, everyone is happy for Bumblebee, but Optimus announces that he must retrieve the All Spark to make it so life can be MADE on Cybertron again. He must go alone while the other say home to clean things up. Also, another robot is Ultra Magnus, voiced by Micheal Ironside. First Haunting Hour, now this.
Back with the bad guys, Unicorn explains to Megatron that he will rule nothing and Unicorn is in charge. He plans to destroy Cybertron and take over the world or something. Back on Cybertron, they have captured 0one of Megatron’s lackets,Knockout, voiced by Daran Noriss. Yes, Gordy/Cosmo is a bad guy in this. After a bit with him, Ultra Magnus and some other guy find two Predacons looking to cause trouble.
This leads to a cool fight scene, which is a perfect time for me to discuss the animation. It’s the same as the show, so it didn’t really get an upgrade for the film, but it’s decent CG. It still kind of looks Video Game-ish, but with the humans gone, the weakest aspect of the animation is gone.
The robots look cool and unlike the live action movie, you can tell them apart. I wish that they had a film budget to make it look better (Seriously, Equestrian Girls got a limited release, but this didn’t?) but as it is, it’s decent.
Anyway, Ultra Magnus gets hurt and they take him to their medic, Ratchet, voiced by Jeffery Combs. He actually might be my favorite character in the show, due to the rather interesting development he gets. But we’ll see if we get that here.
They go looking for those Predacons, and they bump into Predaking. They calm him down so they ask him if there are more Predacons on the planet. He says there is….but they are extinct and dead behind him. It turns out he doesn’t know about the two Predacons they found.
They ask him to help them out and prove that more than one race can exist on Cybertron. He….doesn’t go for it. It’s an even longer story, don’t ask.
We find out exactly what is up with the Predacons. They are clones made by Shockwave, one of Megatron’s goons. They escaped after the events of the finale, and I guess they are under Cybertron doing this to make an army to take over Cybertron. The other goon is Starscream, voiced by Steve Blum. He’s cool.
Back with our heroes, they are approached by Megatron. Well, Unicorn as Megatron, I mean. This leads to another good fight scene, as Unicorn clearly has the upper hand. They escape but they end up dangling over a volcano. Wah wah.
As a side note, you know a movie is good when you just watch it, forgetting you have some typing to do.
They eventually get a ground bridge (and by that I mean portal) to their base. Unicorn is pissed that he has lost this round, so now he needs something bigger. The Autobots contact Optimus and tell him what has happened, and they get into a big speech about Unicorns plan to destroy the core of Cybertron and all that.
This is another case I don’t have anything funny to say during the recap. There isn’t much to really say, but let’s move on.
Meanwhile, Unicorn visits Predaking, who refuses to team up with our villains. Also, Megatron gets pissy at Unicorn cuz he doesn’t like being his slave, and he gets ass whopped for saying that. There’s a really obvious joke in there.
This leads to a fight scene, and Predaking loses. Unicorn searches through his mind and he figures out what he must do. Uniitron visits Starscream, who is happy to see him. He immediately starts sucking his dick, right before Unicorn lets his presence be known.
After some stuff, Unitron unleashes his power to create something called “Terrorcons”. He creates them using old Predacon bones.. Which means..
‘He’s raising an undead army!”
This is officially the best movie ever made. This isn’t even the first time we’ve seen Zombie Robots. I love this show!
So yeah, he plans to use his Zombie Robots to destroy Cybertron. That is an amazing sentence. The autobots blast off in a ship to go save the day, but Starscream shows up and takes it over.
By the way, speaking of awesome things, one of the Predacon guys from earlier is named Darksteel. DARK. STEEL.
An epic fight ensues, and Knockout…well knocks out Starscream.
“Now do you believe I’m on the winning team?”
So now Knockout is on their team (cuz Starscream is a jerk) and we cut to Unicorn, with a music piece that sounds suspiciously similar to the Unicorn theme from the 80’s movie. Hmmm….
After more stuff, The autobots, with some predacons now on their side, try to stop the bad guys from getting to the core. This leads to an amazingly epic battle scene with awesome music. Optimus finally shows up with the all spark but he has to keep it out of Unitron’s reach.
Optimus jumps down to the ground and they fight. Sadly, it’s a short fight as the others use Naziism to hold Unicorn down so Optimus can leave. This doesn’t last long as Unitron gets up and takes the All Spark.
Spoilers, it’s a trick.
It’s a thingy to causes Unicorn to get sucked into the planet’s core, trapping him there for good this time.
‘Unicorn’s Anti-Spark was vulnerable to this reliquary of the primes”
Sure, why not.
And yes, that was our climax. I know this is a pretty short movie (Only An hour and 2 minutes) but would it have been too hard to give us an epic fight between Optimus and Unitron? I know you can’t top the epic reveal of Optimus 2.0 from Mid Season 3, but come on!
(Yes, Hasbro gave us a big change to a beloved character that didn’t quite chance the character itself. That has never happened before! ….The fans reacted well to this one, though)
Despite that, Anti-Climax, I’m somewhat happy.
Anyway, Megatron has control of his body and Starscream wants Megatron to do evil stuff with his new body that Unicorn gave him. However, he declines.
“I now know the true meaning of oppression and have lost my taste for inflicting it. ….The Decpticons are no more, and that is final.”
Megatron flies off. So, I guess that was a face heel turn but since he left, I’m not sure. I suppose this is okay, given what he has gone through today. Starscream sees this as his chance to take the Decepticon throne, but the Predaking doesn’t like that. For a movie called “Preadons rising”, it had less of the ruler of the titular race than I expected.
He goes up to Starscream…and it cuts to the next scene. ..I guess I’ll assume the worst!
Later, Optimus tells the others that he emptied the All Spartk into the Matrix of Leadership he carries so Unicorn can never get it again.
“You are now one with the all spark?”
“That’s what you say when someone…kicks…the…..”
‘To not return the All Spark to the well , would be to prevent future generations of new life from existing on Cybertron. My quest must be completed”
“Optimus, I didn’t return to save a life, only to lose the one I care most about!”
“Rachet’s restored planets, he’ll find a way to save you.”
“Because the matrix must now be relinquished with the AllSpark, it cannot be restored, or passed down to another. While this may very well mark the end of of the age of primes, leadership can be earned, with or without the prime. You have each acted as a prime. As even Megatron has demonstrated on this day, every sentient being posses the capacity for change. I ask only this of you, fellow autobots. Keep fighting the noblest of fights!”
“You can count on us to keep the peace”
Optimus flies down to the core and narrates.
“Above all, do not lament my absence.. For in my spark, I know that this is not the end…but merely a new beginning”
A bunch of lights shoot up from the core, brining full life to Cybertron for real this time.
“Simply put, another transformation”
Well…that happened. I’m sure that was abrupt. I bet there are logic probles. But….damn that awesome. Optimus pretty much sacrifices himself for the good of his planet. In other words..
“I DIED FOR YOUR SINS”
That was….awesome. The movie lacked a truly huge moment like that but that made up for it. It was a really nice moment to end the movie on. I don’t care if the lack of humans actually hurts the moment.(Figures that the one time they cut out the humans, is the time they need them) It’s a really awesome moment.
This show has had some nice emotional moments, (like Bumblebee’s “Death”in the finale) and this is one of them. So yeah, that’s the end of the series. Nice ending, I guess.
I’m not sure what I can say, here. I’m sure a bigger fan could say more but I’ll try. This short movie was good, I guess. Honestly, I prefer some of the special episodes of the series, but this was a nice ending. It finished the overall arc of the series well enough.
However, I wish we had more development for the characters. Yes, I know the show had enough of time, but I liked the character stuff just as much as the action, so I wanted that here.
However, the stuff we get is solid. As a result, there isn’t much to say about the charecters. If you’ve never seen the show, you may find them bland. However, I think they work well for what they are. I still enjoy the interactions, and I like the little moments they get that I mostly skipped over.
I mostly like the villains and Optimus. I think Optimus is better in this show than most of the other incarnations. There I said it. Optimus just has way more to him in this version just being an exposition machine. We see more sides of him in some episodes, and Peter Cullen’s voice is better than ever.
He really sounds a leader here. Everything he says has weight to, and I really like thar.He doesn’t do too much here besides a subplot I mostly skipped over. But dat ending gives him his best moment ever. Granted, it’s only there to fulfill the Optomus death quota bu t it’s still well done.
The story is basic, but it works what for it is. And again the ending, oddly enough, makes it better. Yes, it’s abrupt and makes no wonder where Megatron is going and what happened to Starscream but ah well.
The animation is good, and the fight scenes are great. My only huge problem with this movie is that it feels like an extended episode. Even Equestria Girls felt more like it’s own thing. This isn’t bad, but it also makes it kind of pointless.
Unicorn makes for a solid villain, though I greatly prefer the one from the original movie. I think that’s all I got. I mostly recommend this film to fans of the show, that want a decent end to the series. If you want more, or are not a fan, then you may come out disappointed.
So yeah, it was good. Sorry this wasn’t too good, but I guess the movie didn’t land itself to much analyzation. The grade may seem too high, but screw it/.
Okay, that’s done with. Now to get back to work on my Super secret project! ….That isn’t secret now. Whoops.
Well, I guess you wanna know about that thing I was working earlier. It’s ….rather easy to explain. See, I am somehow smart enough to create this complicated machine, that I am working. on.
I’m not sure what it will end up doing, but it’s supposed to take you to other dimensions. Yes, I should be wary of anything out of the norm after my experiences with a demon, and an evil scientist taking over the blog….twice.
But hey, what could go wrong?
I really no reason to do this, but I am very bored. Now, just as a warning, there’s a good chance this could go wrong in some way. But hey, when have things ever gone wrong for me?
Let’s do this. I just need to press this button here. Okay, it’s starting up. I will just tell this to you instead of doing anything if something goes wrong.
Get ready to see other worlds, behind our comprehension!
….Uh, something is off. The machine is starting to do weird things. Itr’s shaking and making noises. It’s actually going crazy! I didn’t see that coming.
What is it doing? Oh no, a portal is appearing. It’s….showing an image. I should run away before the thing explodes….but Maybe I’ll just peek into whatever world this machine is showing me. I have no idea what is going on. …But at least whatever is on the other side of the portal will be interesting.
What could…..well you know. Let’s see…
WHAT IS GOING ON?!
WHAT WILL THE MACHINE SHOW US?
WHAT UNSPEAKBLE HORRORS LIE IN THE OTHER DIMENSIONS?!
IS THIS A POOR WAY TO SET UP A THEME MONTH THAT RIPS OFF THE CARTOON HERO?!
FIND OUT NEXT. TIME!
SAME SPONGEY TIME!
SAME SPONGEY CHANNEL!
FIND OUT IN…..ELSEWORLD’S MONTH!
IN THEATERS NOW, COMING THIS SUMMER.