Family Guy-Christmas Guy

Hello, Spongey here.

A few weeks ago, I looked at a Family Guy episode where they killed off Brian. It wasn’t that good but It was cool that they killed off a major character like that. But then they brought in a new dog, and I knew this would suck.

The rest of the show would be the same except, the dog is now somehow less funny than Brian. It just made it cheap. But hey, as long as Brian stays dead, it could work!

…..But he didn’t. Yep, as we all know…he came back just two episodes later. Now,. I don’t know HOW it happens, as I haven’t seen this one yet. But my god, that pisses me off. If you are going to kill a character, keep him dead!

Not only does it ruin the death itself, but it just means you have no balls. And if you are gonna bring him back, do it way later, not after 2 episodes! Hell, not even. There was one ep after LOB, then came this. So it was like ….ONE!

Wanna know how to do this better? South Park’s “Kenny Dies”. Because the entire premise was a joke (Kenny dying millions of times is forgotten and they take his death seriously for once) which made the fact that it was also sad, work better.

They brought him back (in a Christmas episode, ironically) but due to the tone of the show, it worked! That’s how you do it, guys. Before I get into it, let’s address WHY Seth killed Brian off no reason.

They thought it was interesting way to shake things up, and it seems like they really wanted this to effect the family in a big way. …And Viinny exists to fill the void, even though that gets rid of the point.

They weren’t worried about blacklash about the death itself, because they knew the fans were smart enough. But they were not, as tons of people wanted Brian back, because they like him and not cuz the episode sucked. But..

“The rage wasn’t something you counted on “

You killed a major character and replaced him. How did you not see it coming?!

After this ep aired, Seth tweeted the following:

““And thus endeth our warm, fuzzy holiday lesson: Never take those you love for granted, for they can be gone in a flash.”

But they will come back so it’s all okay. Then he said this:

“I mean, you didn’t really think we’d kill off Brian, did you? Jesus, we’d have to be f***ing high.”

…You went out of your way to make us think he’s dead, brought him back to life, and scolded us for buying his death? Fuck you!

Ugh, I got a bad attitude before I start this one. Let’s just see if Brian came back in a way that makes sense. I doubt it but who knows?

This, is Christmas Guy

Writer: Patrick Meighan

After we see that Vinnie was added to the intro (ugh), the episode opens at the Griffin house around Christmas Time, as they are watching TV.

“We now return to Home Alone…with competent Robbers”

The following Cutaway (we’re bringing the counter back), is amusing in concept, dull in execution. Also, The Critic did it better.

After that, Lois tells the family it’s time to go to the Christmas Carnival at the mall.

“it’s Stewie’s first Christmas”

“Again?”

Okay, that was funny.

After a 2nd dumb cutaway from Peter, we cut to the mall as they see there is no Christmas Carnival.

You seem to know a lot about this Meg. what did you?!”

Sigh.

There’s a third cutaway, this time with Vinnie (who has done nothing so far), and then we just get a pointless bit that tells us Stewie doesn’t get what is going on.

After another cutaway, (We’re not even 4 minutes in when it ends), they go home. We are told the Carnival was canned because….the plot says so.

“How much trouble can he cause? He’s a baby”

Cue cutaway where Stewie sics a snake on Meg. Wow, Meg bashing and a pointless cutaway. I’m impressed!

Cutaway Count: 5

There’s another movie spoof Cutaway the next day, and Vinnie shows up.

“I’ve been asking around about this Carnival thing. I know a guy who knows a guy who knows another guy who knows a girl which is weird cuz they don’t usually know nothing…..”

SPONGEBOB: Who knows’ this guy’s cousin

He tells us that the Carnival was shut down by Lois’ father, Carter.

There’s a 7th Cutaway about a Gluten Free Santa (?) and Peter leaves and talks to Carter. He explains that he hates Christmas because people expect an expensive gift from him cuz he is rich.

“I’m gonna help you find the Christmas Spirit”

Oh, this should be interested. A bit of a spoof going on here. I question where the Brian thing comes in, but maybe this could be okay.

After an extended pointless bit with Peter and lois (and our 8th cutaway), Peter and Carter do Christmas-y things. One of which involves Eggnog being a stand in for cum. It’s not funny.

The tasteless joke is followed by a masturbation joke. Should I even be shocked at this point? Then…Peter accuses Carter of being Jewish.

Carter is shocked that people assume this, so he puts the Carnival back up…and we cut to the family at it with no further comment.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE POINT OF THAT?!

I’ve read ahead in the Wikipedia summary. That plot ends here and the episode switches gears. I know this show, as well as The Simpsons, will start with a plot and ditch it when the real plot starts, but this ep dedicated 9 FUCKING MINUTES to this crap!

It almost got okay until the bad jokes! We could have started from here and we wouldn’t lose anyway! Also, tasteless jew joke  for the fuck yourself

Okay, let’s move on. Despite all of this, Stewie still feels like something is missing. He figures it out when he sits on Santa’s lap and says what he wants for Christmas.

“My friend!”

“Your friend?”

“My dog, Brian”

Ohai real plot.

“I don’t care about anything except Brian”

Woo hoo, let’s ruin the “happy” ending of Life of Brian! This would work better if it didn’t feel like an excuse to bring him back. That night, Vinnie pretends to be Brian and it’s really lame.

After that joke ends (after 50 years have gone by), Vinnie gives Stewie a present to cheer him up. It’s…a foot.

“That was supposed to go to somebody else, I’m very sorry”

Ugh.

Also, it leads to a cutaway.

Cutaway Count: 10

I skipped a movie spoof one from a bit ago.

Since that failed, they go to the mall so Stewie can get a little something. Nothing interests him until he bumps into…himself.

Oh boy.

In a cutaway i skipped in Life of Brian,, Stewie he said he went to the future to get his Christmas present early.  Past Stewie happens to have the time machine return pad, and Stewie wants it.

Vinnie distracts Past Stewie and our Stewie takes the return pad. He plans to go back and save Brian from the car. And we’re finally here, only 17 minutes into a 21 minute episode.

Okay, I guess it was done to build up to this moment but it doesn’t make for the fact that Brian is being brought back at all. Though to be fair, they used a bit from another episode, to bring him back, so it’s kind of….smart, to an extent.

I mean, they could have pulled something out of their ass but instead, they came up with an okay way to bring him back. But bringing him back at all was their real mistake. But let’s see how this ends.

Stewie tells Vinnie that if Brian comes back, Vinnie won’t be with their family anymore.

“I’ll probably never see you again”

Unless you just visit the shelter where Vinnie was. There’s a thought.

They say goodbye, in a scene that’s honestly kind of sweet, and there is no bad joke to ruin it!

“Good dog, Vinnie. Good dog..”

Nice….but Vinnie had the likability of sandpaper, so boo.

So Stewie goes back to the faithful event and saves Brian from the car that killed him. I still agree with Mr Enter on Seth being in that car.

He sends the pad back to Past Stewie, and Brian is told about what happened, and he’s grateful.

However, Stewie starts to vanish cuz the timeline where Brian dead no longer exists.

“Merry Christmas Brian”

And with that, everything returns to normal. The Stewie of this time (as in, the one that with Brian in the almost death scene….time travel hurts my brain) comes in and hits Brian in the nuts, like a dick.

And so no one learned anything and Brian’s life sucks. YAY!

We cut to Christmas morning as Brian gives a picture of them together.

“You gave me the greatest gift of all. Maybe i’ll tell you sometime”

“…Are we pregnant?”

…I admit, that was a tad funny, and it ends quickly.

“Thanks for everything Stewie. Your my best friend, and I love you”

Oh so we did learn something. If someone dies, just bring them back and you won’t have to deal with the grief.

Or maybe the moral is you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Fine, but Brian is unlikable, and Stewie is a dick to him fairly often after this. Point? Where are you?

“All I can say is…you’ve been making really creepy eye contact with me all morning, and I want to stop right now

The end.

…That’s the end. We end on a lame joke that ruins the previous moment. FAMILY GUY IN A NUTSHELL.

Well…at least I’m done with the EPIC LIFE OF BRIAN SAGA once and for all.

Final Thoughts:

Overall, this episode was….meh. Just…meh. It was better than Life of Brian but it’s not exactly great. If it helps, I liked it more than Mr Enter, who called it WORSE than Life of Brian. I did laugh a few times (I skipped some of the chuckles to get to the point) and some bits were kind of sweet.

However, the idea is so baffling that it kills the episode. As I said before, the fact that they brought him back and scolded us for thinking they would actually do it, pisses me off more than the episode itself. The ep itself isn’t that bad, as it did pull off sweet moments better than Life of Brian ever did.

There is almost a feeling that Brian and Stewie kind of grew through this experience, and some cute moments come out of that. On the other hand, there’s a feeling that this entire arc was pointless, due to the fact that (to my knowledge) Brian goes back to sucking after this. Not to mention the dumb joke at the end.

The biggest problem with the episode is the pacing, which is crap. The first 9 minutes are completely POINTLESS, and cutting it out would not lose anything interesting. Plus, that eggnog joke was awful.

But even when the plot kicks in, extra long comedy bits bring the “story” to a fault. FG is known for this but with this story, you can’t just stall for no reason. Then we have Vinnie. Wow, he brought so much to this show.

Said no one. He’s not the worst Replacement Scrappy ever, but he did kind of suck. He was annoying, boring, and he had no reason to exist. That bit with him at the end was sweet, but it showed just how pointless he was.

Why would you bring a new character in to replace a dead one, so you can take him away? As Seth himself once said:

“It’s lazy. It’s lazy writing”

This episode is mostly just meh. The comedy, is mostly better than in some other episodes, and it has it’s moments, but other jokes suck, the pacing is crap, and it had no reason to exist. This arc could have been awesome, but instead it was…meh.

It was just a ratings trap, and I rarely say that, but it’s so true for this example. I still don’t hate Seth, (or any person who makes media I dislike) but this is not of his better ideas. Again not a bad episode, but the very idea behind it just sucks.

Want a good death episode? Watch Kenny dies. Want a good Family Guy Christmas episode? Watch A Very Special Family Guy Freakin’ Christmas. Hell, Road to the North pole was actually pretty good, and way better than this.

Grade: C+

So what have we learned? If you want to kill off a character, do it with tact and grace. Treat that death with the respect it needs. Keep that character dead, and if you want to bring them back, just wait to do it.

Also, Seth is better at writing for Drama in movies than in TV, for some reason. Also, watch Ted and A Million Ways to Die in the west even though the latter has been getting weak reviews.

See ya.

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About Spongey444

I'm 20 and I'm a slightly below average man who can barely spell. I mostly spend my time watching TV and movies, hence why i ended doing a blog all about those things. I tend to have weird tastes, but I like think I'm just fair on things.
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