To Boldly Flee (Part 2)

OH MY GOD THIS THE GREATEST 3 HOUR INTERNET MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!

OH MY GOD THIS THE GREATEST 3 HOUR INTERNET MOVIE I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!

PREVIOUSLY ON TO BOLDLY FLEE…

Ma-Ti died, and the Critic is still sad over it. But then they find his death created a plot hole which will disrupt the world. After pissing off Terl, who captures spoony, the whole CA gang heads off into space to stop the plot hole. Also, there this prick who was pointless and Linkara is an evil robot.

Now for the….continuation.

///

Hello, Spongey here.

So…let’s get into it.

This, is To Boldly Flee (Part 2)

So after our heroes blast off into space, we cut to Terl telling the Executor that the Critics are gone and Prick is dead. He takes it okay….except he’s sending someone who will help keep terl in line.

And it’s..

tbf 1
“KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!”

GENEREAL ZOD!

…Yeah I have to explain this one. See, in Christmas of…some year, Doug Walker decided to do a series called “Merry Zodmas’ in which Zod from Superman tells us how his version of Christmas goes. Doug made such a great Zod. that he made more appearances.

This includes Zod taking over the Bum in reviewing Man of Steel, and it turns out Zod sabotaged the movie so it would be mediocre.

That was retconn’d in the Critic’s own MOS review, but whatever.

So back on the Critic’s house…ship…thing, CR and JO find out they both had an oddly specific dream which sent them blueprints for a machine. But they each only got half and yep, they match up.

I don’t 100 percent remember this goes anywhere besides an odd bit with JO, but we’ll see.

After that, we get Paw recording a V-log of all this….which means this is now Apollo 18 except less funny. Also, Jew Wario has been learning Sci-Fi stuff from the Tao Takei.

“Oh myyyy”

Indeed.

Also, Brad is still teaching Luke the ways of the for-i mean Z grade reviewer while JO screws something up while working on the thingy and turns into Ed from Cowboy bepop.

Like you do.

Yeah, people were mixed on this part. As Ed, JO is energetic, does a bunch of random stuff, and to some, this is annoying. I think it’s pretty amusing but humor is subjective, after all.

Also, she does something with CR’s eye things and he can see right through the wall.

“I see Mickey watching …my little pony?”

“Damn proud, I am!”

For the sake of not being a dick, I won’t make a crack about CR’s…issues with Ponies.

Back with Terl and Zod, the latter tells the former to turn their ship into house to fight fire with fire.

“It can be accomplished it one simple George Lucas style wipe”

Hah.

One wipe later, they have their Up house in space. But Terl is still worried about finding the Critic.

ZOD: I’m working on a plan as we speak.

So in other words…

“I WILL FIND HIM!”

I am not sorry.

Terl says who inserted a Traitor into their ranks, who I guess is Mechkara. Wait, couldn’t said Traitor call them up and go ‘hey they are over here” and boom, done?

Anyway, we cut to that night as most of the gang is asleep. Except for the ones who are talking, which is most. This includes Todd, who proclaims his love to Lupa, and asks her out. Her answer?

“No”

Ah well, let’s join on Brad and Luke!

They have some talk about the future, critics and family, or whatever. All you need to know is it’s very homoerotic, like the rest of the movie.

JEWWARIO: Oh that is so Takei!

Indeed.

The next morning, Nostalgia Chick is told Linkara is using up the internet (who knew you get Wi-Fi in space?) so she has a word with him. Of course she finds out he’s using it to charge himself cuz he;s Mechkara and yes, he is the traitor. What a shock.

He catches her, takes out a drill and we cut to Film Brain on the other side of the door, to partake in a very rape-y gag. Some people took issue with this gag…including Lewis.

Me? It’s a bit odd….but it’s funny.

So a few minutes later..

“Are they coming?”

“That’s a loaded question”

NOT HELPING.

Also, Mickey has a Derpy shirt. Nice. So Nostalgia Chick returns and now she is a robot goon thingy. No one notices cuz it’s funny. Critic just called them here to go over the plan which is just “Get spoony, ???, Sexy dance party”. But anyway, their ship is now approaching Europa.

They sense life on the seemingly lifeless moon. Thus, Sage suggests some people teleport down to it to see what is going on. Phelous insists he lead the away team, even though he is wearing a red shirt. And as Suite life on deck reminded us, the guys in the red shirt always killed.

….That was from a good episode.

Either way, Phelous, Sage, and Sad Panda head down. Right away, they find Spoony. Well, that was quick. End movie!

Spoony seems fine, even with Ma-Ti inside of him. But then Zod’s ship shows up to bug our main heroes. Even worse, his goons show up to attack the away team. I’ll stop to provide some actual reviewing.

One thing I’ve always liked about Doug’s films (lol I make him sound like an actual director) is that they are comedies but they feel so EPIC that not only is funny ot see contrasting tones, but sometimes it BECOMES epic.

SK had slightly less of this but it had it’s moments. However, it comes back full force with surprisingly good score that helps with the epic tone. When our heroes are in danger, you feel it even though it’s kind of a dumb concept.

Which makes the funny moments even funnier. Like this bit where Terl and Zod pretend to be Critic’s ….from the Food network to get them to lower their shields. It…works. Hey, this is the TGWTG crew we’re talking about.

So of course Zod opens fire on our heroes. Oh, I have to mention the effects….suck but for a movie like this, they are pretty ambitious. Anyway, eventually it gets to be too much and the two parties finally meet face to…screen.

TERl: You remember me. I’m touched.

…You talked on the phone a few hours ago.

NC: …Tigger?

Okay, never mind.

“I just talked to you a few days ago!”

Wait, days passed? I thought it was only one day. Whatever.

So the baddies tell them to give up or they will kill Spoony. To show they mean it, a goon kills Phelous. Saw that coming. By the way, the gag where the goon kills him runs for WAY too long. This movie wouldn’t have been 3 hours is crap like this wasn’t in it.

…Then he comes back to life on the ship.

“I’m a red shirt. When one dies, another always comes back”

…Okay.

After that pointless bit, the gang hatches a plan to fight the baddies off. First, Joe telrports onto the ship and kills the weapons officer, cuz of some babble I skipped. Wait, why doesn’t he just shoot Terl and Zod if it was that easy?

Anyway, NC does down to Europa….dressed as Judge Dredd.

“I AM THE LAW!”

Oh hell yes!

To make even better, he shoots down all the goons. They teleport the Away team up but it gets stuck on Critic. In the meantime, he guns down more bad guys. They do get it to work…but it takes him to outside the building.

By the way, this moon looks a lot like Earth for some reason. It’s like it was filmed in some field!

Anyway, more goons show up for another action scene. It does go on too long but it’s actually a pretty solid action scene with some good humor as well.

“Remind me to kill you later!”

“…I don’t have to remind him,do I?”

But yeah, as good as it is It goes on for way too long, meaning I am skipping a lot. LONG story short, they beam Critic back to the ship. So now the bad guys are up shit creek and our heroes have the edge.

…Until the bad guys beam The Cinema Snob onto their ship. Well, shit.

So now is a good time to mention that this is where I stopped. I got lazy and never got around to watching the parts after this. So the rest, is uncharted land for me.

So anyway, a bit later, see that Luke is sad that Snob is gone. Where is a Snob? Well, the bad guys took him to California to …live in comfort as he meets some dude named Christoper Clod or something. Also, hi Rob, again.

Cloud is the head of the Motion Picture Association of America Artist.

“I prefer to be called a Film Enthusiast, Bradikan”

“How did you know my real name?”

I thought it was Craig. …Oh yeah, plot hole.

So Clod here, tells Brad he has potential that is wasted. Also, MPAAA is behind SUCKA which makes that plot point relevant again.

“But isn;t Hollywood still making record amount of monkey?”

Doesn’t stop people from bitching when a few movies bomb.

So he tells Snob he can fulfill his dreams of being a real film maker, and he will give him everything he needs to make a real movie.

“But if you leave…so does the dream”.

I’m glad Brad is finally given something to do in the movie, and this shaping up to to be pretty cool. This is obliviously one big Star Wars spoof (with the Bradakin thing) but they make it slightly original by tying Snob into it.

But back on the ship, Lupa and Todd figure out that something is off with Chick and Linkara. So Todd goes up to see what is going on.

“You doing anything suspicious or evil in there?”

Todd: Master of subtly.

Sure enough, he goes in and sees them being evil and suspicious.

“…Does this mean you don’t want a relationship anymore?”

Then we cut to later, as Todd is now evil, and dressed like Robocop. Now THAT should be in the new one.

And of course, no suspects anything odd except Lupa. …But anyway, let’s finally what CR and JO were making this whole time.

It’s a machine that lets them look into people’s dream, which they shall use on Spoony. So Film brain is sent in to check it out. Why him?

“You’re an idiot, and you if you die, we won’t miss you”

…Sure, why not.

So Film Brain goes into Spoony’s mind and finds a section that shows his perception of people. Like The critic..

“I’m a compilation of screaming and in-jokes that go on too long!”

and Angry Joe…

“I’m obsessed with violence probably my mother didn’t hug me enough”

Sounds right to me!

Skipping a bit, we cut back to Snob, as he walks in on Clod watching Manos the hands of fate. I only mention that cuz it makes Clod go into a speech how some dude put his all into this crappy movie yet due to that it lives on, much like the classics. He then brings up how Uwe Boll’s “will to create” made him a cult hit no matter what the critics say.

“Fame is fleeting, but infamy lasts forever”

The mark of a great villain is that his villain speeches are….100 percent right even though he’s clearly using the good guy. He makes a very good point, and the movie does a good job at treating him like a real bad guy, when he easily could have been a joke.

But back with Film Brain, he enters Spoony’s subconscious and finds Ma-Ti.

“What is it that you want?”

“The critic. All your questions will be answered if you just bring him to me”

“Bring him where?”

“To the plot hole. It’s where he belongs. It’s where he has always belonged. It is his Desitny”

DUN DUN DUN!

And that, is where we end part 2. Not as much happened in this part, but at least we’re almost done. 1 more hour (and 20 minutes) to go. No breaks this time, next time is part 3!

So..

Will Snob turn to the dark side?

Will they stop Mechkara and his new goons?

Will Critic go to the plot hole?

Will you realize these questions are pointless as the TGWTG fans already know what happens?!

FIND OUT NEXT TIME.

DIFFERENT TIME CUZ THESE POSTS HAVE NO REAL SET TIME.

BUT STILL SAME CHANNEL-…I MEAN BLOG.

TO BE CONCLUDED…

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About Spongey444

I'm 20 and I'm a slightly below average man who can barely spell. I mostly spend my time watching TV and movies, hence why i ended doing a blog all about those things. I tend to have weird tastes, but I like think I'm just fair on things.
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