PREVIOUSLY ON THE BLOG:
“This is a good example of bottom of the barrel kid’s entertainment, as there is nothing for adults. I found it to be quite boring at times, and also annoying”
“The plot is again filled with stupid cliches, one note characters. I sound like a broken record now, but it DOES have these things.”
‘It’s not nearly as tedious, or cliché filled as Air buddies, but it’s still very lazy. The reason the buddies go to space is very contrived, but I expected that. “
‘After the more tame bad-ness of Snow Buddies and Space Buddies, I think they decided to go back to the Air buddies level of crap. So that’s why this one might actually be just as bad.
“It looks like it’s the end of the world. Hell has frozen over, it’s raining fire, and cats and dogs are living together. Why? This buddies movie wasn’t that bad.”
“At it’s best, it’s more boring than awful. But at it’s worst, it’s painful and lame. I don’t hate it like some of the others, but it’s still a step sideways. Not up or down…just in the exact same direction. “
AND NOW FOR THE CONCLUSION:
Hello, Spongey here.
As you all know, for the last few months I’ve been reviewing the Air Buddies franchise. This is the spin off of the Air bud films, which feature his talking buddies. I have bashed them as being, cliché, annoying, and un-funny.
But see…there was a much bigger reason for me doing them. I didn’t plan to give these movies a 2nd though…until the release of the (so far) most recent and final one. But still, it didn’t seem like a huge deal.
Until I was visited by Agent Goldfish, my title card guy who hasn’t done his job in like a year. He revealed to me that he was actually a true agent for…AVASM. The Agency Vioently against Shitty movies.
They don’t do the best work, as every shitty movies keep falling through their hands. However, many even worse movies such as Jack and Jill 2 and Movie 44 have been shut down thanks to them.
But they couldn’t flat out stop the newest buddies movie. And that’s where I come in. Goldfish told me I had to look at all them so I can review this new one, and finally understand why it exists. And once I finish it all, I will be told the secret to stopping these movies once and for all, which only I can help with.,
Seems contrived? Screw you. It’s time to finish my mission. And the only way to do that is finally review this movie and finish off the buddies series…for now. This is the 7th entry, which came out in August of this year.
Since it’s new, not many have seen it, much less reviewed it. So , I shall be the first. There isn’t too much to say about the making of and all that. Robert Vince directed all of these, and also wrote them along with some other chick, who akso did all of these.
He is my new Dennis Dugan. So anyway, since the buddies have done almost everything, we might as well make them super zeroes. How does it turn out? Not nearly as well as the last big superhero epic Disney was somewhat involved in.
This, is Super Buddies
After some heroic opening titles, the movie opens with Budderball’s owner, who is staying with his grandpa on the farm. “Gramps” is played by John Ratzenberger.
You’ve gotta to be trucking kidding me. These movies got “Stars” who are slumming it for a paycheck but no one I respected this much. This can’t be the same guy who is Pixar’s “good luck charm”. This can’t be.
But..it is ,and I’ve lost all respect for him. We’re off to a great start!
But anyway, Fat bud’s owner wants to be a comic book artist but he kind of sucks. John tells him he’s great.
“At least I have 1 fan”
One more than you deserve.
Gramps then gives him a rare comic as a present, featuring some generic hero and his wonder dog or something. And for some reason, the kid starts reading it to us.
“Far far away, in a whole other galaxy..”
Huh, I get to reference 2 Disney buyouts. Neat!
So this comic story has this planet called Krypton, I mean. Insert generic name here, which lived in peace thanks to some power rings.
“But all that changed the evil Commander Drex attacked”
KATARA: All the nations lived together in harmony. But all that changed when the fire nation attacked.
Are you even trying to be subtle with your rip offs?
So thanks to some evil guy, they want to send the rings to Earth to keep them safe. Then some dude went out and stopped Drex for good. So if he was gonna stop Drex anyway, what was the point of even sending the rings to earth?
But Captain Megasis ran into trouble and ended up crashing into the earth, on a farm. The story stops here, as fat owner goes outside to meet his friends, along with the other buddies. It’s his birthday, so they surprise him by dressing up as superheros.
“Too bad we don’t have real super powers, dawg!”
So you know how the last 2 films kept the voices mostly the same? Well, that’s gone as almost all them are completely different now. Except for Mudbud, and Rosebud. In the case of the latter, they just wanted to keep the irony of someone from Dog with a blog voicing a dog.
Speaking of Disney sitcoms, that’s the little brother from Liv & Maddie as Buddha. Well, I know what show I am no longer watching.
So then Gramps comes out dressed as a superhero, and he does a prat fall. If only he was playing Underminer in this one. Anyway, so now they are gonna do a birthday treasure hunt.
“I love treasure!”
But you already did that last time, dude.
So the buddies split up to find stuff, and Dirty bud bumps into the pig latin speaking pigs. Oh so now the animals are speaking animal again. Oh, and the first pig here is voiced by Maulik Pancholy.
…Really. One buddies movie wasn’t enough? You had to do another?!
Then Fat Bud bumps into a racist mexican bull, and then he says he wants to be brave and strong like Mr bull. That’s gonna play into some cliches, isn’t it?
After B-dawg gets attacked by chickens (don’t ask) we see Buddha telling some cows to empty their minds.
“We’re cows. Our minds are always empty”
This movie is a dick to cows.
Then Girl Bud bumps into some female horses who talk about fashion or whatever. This is Strawberry and Lollipop. The former is voiced by Alyson Stoner….goddammit Isabella, this is worse than Camp rock.
Also, this came out the same month as Mission Marvel. This worries me.
The latter is voiced by Zendya (Who is too edgy for last names’, since it’s just one name in the credits). For god’s sake, do you have to get every disney star from something I half tolerate in this!?! Oddly enough,. Disney never mentioned her in the marketing. The focus was on…well you’ll see.
And all these small bits are really pointless. Thankfully, plot is moved as they get together and find a glow-y thing in a barn. Said glow-y things are 5 rings…just like the ones from the comic.
Said rings were a prize in a cereal box earlier, so Fat bud thinks Gramps buried them for the treasure hunt. But the the rings magically float onto their bodies. So I’m guessing these are the real ones, but how did no one see them before?
And this does not phase them as they move on to the birthday cake portion of the party. After the cake, Fat bud’s owner breaks out that comic and we hear the rest of the story. Megasis, voiced by Colin Hanks lands on a farm and-
…Moving on, Megasis meets a dog and he says he comes in peace. He hears sirens (I’m glad the humans grew a brain and heard the crash) so to hide himself until he finds the rings, he turns into a dog.
So then he runs away and bumps into a kid who crashes his bike cuz he is shocked by the sight of A DOG OH GOD A DOG!
Megasis doesn’t know dogs don’t talk, so he chats it up with the kid. If I wanted to watch a Disney product, with both G Hannileus and a kid and his talking dog, I’d -wow, that irony of this didn’t hit me til now.
Infact, Megasis thought dogs were humans. Do alien ever do research before doing shit like this? Seriously.
This kid is named Jack. They introduce themselves, and Jack takes Megasis to his place. Mom lets him keep him cuz eh why not. Megasis tells Jack his story, and adds that the evil alien race enslaved his people and Megasis needs to go save them.
What was the point of stopping Drex if they were gonna take over anyway? So Jack and Megasis decide to become superhero in honor of Jake’s late father. Yep, this is a Disney movie.
But wait, Underdog, I mean Megasis (stay subtle, Disney) doesn’t have the rings, and thus no powers!
“My dad says you don’t have to have super powers to be a superhero”
But you are certainty no Batman.
“We’ll use our intellect, Bravery and wits”.
You have one of those.
“And that’s how Kid Courageous and Captain Canine came to be”
Man, even this movie wastes precious minutes on an origin story.
So now we cut to the creater of that comic, Jack Schaffer, played by Jason Earles. Come on, dude, you did ANOTHER one?! At least you aren’t Russian this time, but come on! And yes, this is the one Disney pushed in the marketing over Zendya. I don’t get it either.
And as it turns out….everything from that comic is real. Comic creator Jack is the kid Jack. This raises SO many questions of logic, especially how the rings are only now being found. But I’ll spare you from them.
Their computer tells them the rings have been activated. They haven’t had a signal since that “false alarm in 2002”. I’m sure that’s a reference to something.
We cut to the next morning, as Fat Bud finds out he now has super strength. He finds this out cuz he ended up trashing the fridge a bit.. Yet Gramps, upon seeing the trashed ice box isn’t going “HOLYSHITWHATTHEFREAK!”
We then see that B-dawg has super stretching powers, and Buddha can use wires, I mean fly. Dirty Bud can go invisible, and Girl bud has super speed. All the clichés powers are in check. All we need is someone’s parents to die or something.
And so we cut to the very real Drex-and oh god these aliens. They look like something from a lost Mac and Me sequel! Anyway, Drex, played by Mr Tipton from Suite life on deck (really) is somehow alive and still pissed about losing the rings.
His monkey sidekick, Monk-E (GETIT), played by Albert Glass from Fish Hooks (really) tells him they found the rings. It really took them like 20 something years to find it? Lamest villains ever!
So they fly off to Earth, and we join the buddies as they gather to discuss their powers. Buddha says that he has mind control powers, which is the power I’ve always wanted personally.
“I knew I was super fly, but now I’m super duper pooper scooper fly!”
Yes, but are you pterodactyl fly?
See, he said that after stopping some jerkass skateboarder in a lame joke. Buddha reminds them they need secret identities so they use their costumes from earlier which are lame but will fool everyone ala Clark Kent’s glasses.
So they suit up and their first task is to get a cat out of a tree. B-dawg is not happy, but Buddha says you can’t NOT save someone just cuz you don’t like them. That would be a better moral if they didn’t learn last time that ALL CATS ARE EVIL.
The cat doesn’t want to be rescued by a dog, which only makes that Aesop even more broken. So to get the cat out, they just knock the tree down and it hits a cop car. It gets the cat out but still….what a dumb move.
That night they happen to be out and see that someone happens to be robbing the candy store. Girl Bud ties them up. Ever notice that she doesn’t do like anything in the other movies? Yet, when she does stuff here, it sucks cuz she keeps talking about girl power or whatever?
“See what happens when super strength and gum ball so together!”
Fat bud spits gumballs at them and it’s in slow mo for no reason. Guess Zack Synder took over to make up for the (thankful) lack of it in Man of steel.
By the way, did I mention the robbers are German? It’s really dumb. You know, the first 20 minutes or so weren’t horrible but now this is getting into classic buddies crap.
So after they stop the bad guys, they leave and the sheriff shows up to arrest them.
“Take us to jail, just get us away from those crazy puppies!”
And now I feel bad for the robbers. Great job, movie. But anyway, the news shows up and the candy store owner tells them what happened. The reporter chick simply reports it is as it is.
“Super puppies? Really?”
I’m right there with you. So the next morning, Drex lands on the farm. He disguises himself as a pig, openly talks to Gramps and of course he runs in fear. Then he cloaks his ship (why didn’t he do that before) supposedly so Gramps will look crazy.
But what if someone sees that freaking green pig? Whatever. Gramps calls up the sheriff for help. My issues are fixed as Drex takes Gramps truck and heads out. As awesome as the image of a pick driving a truck is, why didn’t they just use the ship to go the location of the rings?
Drex starts up the radio, and it plays a lame song.
“This music is enough justification to destroy the whole planet”
The sheriff shows up at Gramps’ place and of course they find nothing, and think he’s crazy. So Drex ends up in a lame joke at the drive thu- for a space theme restaurant or something.
Back at Gramps’ the kids show up and the sheriff says what happened. He then gets a call to investigate a car crash issue….and the car was Drex’s truck. Why he didn’t book it as soon as he crashed is anyone’s guess.
No one is phased by a driving pig, but the sheriff does wrangle him. Wow, this villain sucks. Meanwhile,the kids do some searching and find the invisible ship. Yep, the kids are the only smart ones here.
One kid ends up pushing a button that reveals the ship. Why do they even have that?!
Monk-E zaps the kids and makes the ship invisible again. The kids leave and the monkey steps out to do some exploring. Meanwhile, the buddies come across a burning building. Don’t you love hero stories where the town suddenly gets in tons of trouble when heroes show up?
Anyway, they head in and boom, Captain Canine shows up. He helps them save a little from the burning building and all that good stuff. They explain everything to CC and he explains why he needs the rings.
But then the news shows up reports on the super buddies. In real life, they would turn them over to scientist for a good probing, but we all know this movie isn’t in real life.
The human kids see this report, and put 2 and 2 together. Faster than any adult will in this series. Then we cut the county jail with Drex. Really, they can put pigs in jail in this world? Fuck this…
Drex then switches bodies with the sheriff….which he could have done earlier but okay. The kids show up and right Drex tells them who he is and all that. Then dog sheriff barnacle shows up and it seems like the humans sheriff can now hear him with his new pig ears.
Not much to say there, so let’s move to Underdog here talking to the buddies. He tells them that they activated the rings, so they are bonded to them and now only they can use them. That….is really stupid.
He says there’s a logic to the magic. Sorry, but if it didn’t work for the force in Episode 1, it won’t work here. So now Underdog here gives us a training montage, sadly lacking in 80’s music.
Long story short, they train and he says they must work together as one to stop Drex. That night, Drex in the sheriff’s body arrives at the farm with the kids in tow. Drex quickly locks the kids up in a barn and knocks out Gramps.
Now they know the comics are real, they need to read some to figure out what to do. Then Drex busts out a laser and makes a meteor head towards here. I think Drex is making his plan as he goes along.
I’m kind of running out of things to say, as stuff like this is more on the tolerable side. Thankfully, we got a short gag with Sheriff Barnacle Boy saying Human Sheriff as a pig stinks like crap to make up for it.
Gramps wakes up and heads inside to see a report about the meteor. Then Underdog-er Megasis comes out to confront Drex and…he gets his ass kicked. Lame!
“It’s time to really be the super buddies!”
So the buddies come out and put all their energy together and blast Drex. Okay, that’s pretty cool. Then we get a prolonged fight scene between Drex and the buddies which involves cool stuff, and bad jokes.
Long story short, the buddies hide out in the barn. But there’s lightning outside…so Gramps comes out dressed a superhero and uses a rod to direct the lightning to Drex. ….Sure, why not.
When he gets back up, the kids give him the toy rings from the cereal saying these are the real ones. Again, this villain sucks. But he breaks his promises and says that meteor will destroy the town, evil laugh.
He heads outside, and gives the sheriff his body back and goes back to his creepy mac and me face. Drex heads in his ship, and finds out that the rings are plastic….a bit too late as he crashes in the meteor…blowing it up.
TYRONE: That certainty was convenient.
Well, that was a lame climax. And we’re only 65 minutes into this 80 minute movie! But wait…remember when Megasis got zapped by Drex. …Yeah, he’s not getting up and Jack arrives.
….And he’s…kind of dead. There’s sad music and the buddies talk about he “was” an awesome alien. Um….DAY-UM. Okay, sure it’s likely a Disney death (calling it now) but….wow, this is kind of depressing.
“It was his life’s mission to protect the rings of Insprion”
By the way, the rings must not be fused with the buddies cuz they freely take them off and give them to Jack.
“Wait a second….together the rings have the healing power capable of miracles!”
…Fuck, I called it. I thought that maybe he simply wasn’t dead…but nope he is and he’s gonna be brought back by the power of the deus ex machina! Granted, this is just as freaking insult as it was in Dragonball Evolution but…someone actually flat out DIED in a buddies movie! I love that!
And of course the rings bring him back to life. That was still the closest to emotion i’ve seen in these movies, even if this bit is a cheap cop out.
Megasis thanks them and says the buddies are super without the rings. Nevermind that the rings pretty much helped at every turn.
They hug it out and Jack tells the kids about how it’s all real. Jack also says it’s all over and Drex is stopped for good. Wait…did he die too? Yikes. But if he somehow survived before, surely he can survive again.
They recite the “you don’t need powers’ thing which I guess applies to the humans. And the ship comes out, and out pops the princess (no queen of course) of Megasis’ planet.
Also, her name is…Jorala. Jor-el. Jorala. SUBTLE!!!!!111
The princess thanks them all for their help. You know, I always bitch when movies end abruptly…so I think the writers stretched this ending out to 15 minutes to show me that abrupt endings are sometimes better.
Megasis turns back into his creepy form. He thanks Jack for all his help and now it’s time for him to go home, finally. …Also, Monk-E changed sides and wants to be Megasis’s servant. Well, this guy was pointless.
So they all blast off and is that the end? Of course not! We cut to Jack giving a speech to the town announcing Fat bud’s owner as his new comic book writing partner. But if everyone knows all this is real now then…whatever.
“The buddies picked up where they left off, and as one adventure ended another one wasa about to begin.”
To be continued in…THE BARK KNIGHT RISES.
And with a heroic shot of the buddies, the movie ends at 75 minutes. The shortest one so far, thank god. And so the EPIC BUDDIES SAGA ends on a….whimper, of course.
This movie sucked…but I’m a tad split on it. For one, some of the jokes could get pretty annoying, the effects were hit or miss (but mostly miss) and the there are plot holes and stupid moments everywhere.
On it’s own, it’s pretty much bad and ocne again offers little for kids and the moral value is only kind of there. I don’t have much to say really. It’s just …bad. But like with Spooky buddies…it has some redeeming values.
There is a lot of superhero action…and most of it isn’t that bad. When they are some straight forward cool stuff without much jokes, it’s….tolerable. Again, this is like in Spooky buddies. (Seriously, even Mike J liked that one).
It’s mostly painful in the 2nd act, with the dumb jokes and all that. It actually gets worse once the buddies get their powers. By the way, the acting is meh, as not even Jason Earles and John get enough to do to be memorable.
On the other hand, Drex could be kind of cool in the 3rd act (when he isn’t being dumb) and the dude playing the sheriff has some fun being evil. And to be honest….this is the cloeset they’ve gotten to genuine emotion.
It does get all sappy at the end but it almost feels kind of geuine. Even though Megasis, like everyone else was dull…you kind of feel something when he dies. And even if it’s a cop out. I liked that this movie showed serious balls.
But Spooky Buddies went a bit further with it, and that’s the issue. As much as a I praise some parts, it still isn’t as…tolerable as Spooky buddies. Not to mention SB only had a few flat out painful parts compared to this one.
So overall, this one is just an “eh” kind of bad. At it’s best, it’s the 2nd …least bad of the films but at it’s worst, it could be mostly Snow Buddies bad. Either way, it’s not worth watching for adults, but if you do watch it…it has it’s moments.
So in short, it super sucks.
There, it’s done! A did a bunch of stand alone movies to lead up to one big movie! No one did that already right?
Okay, let’s report back to Agent Goldfish.
Agent Goldfish: You did good, Spongey. You gave this movie the beating it deserves, and you cleared out the buddies series.
I know. Overall, this series is somewhat harmless, but it just sucks. The plots are cliched, the effects suck, the acting is hit or miss, and the jokes are incredibly immature or gross, and it’s just a waste of time for any smart adult.
Agent Goldfish: Now that you understand this series, you can propelly help us stop this series once and for all.
Oh great, so now I’ll finally learn the secret to stopping them for good.
Agent Goldfish: Yes, the Buddies Inititave has come to an end. Are you ready?
Yes! So plase tell me…how do I stop these movies for good?
Agent Goldfish: Okay, the solution is…don’t buy them.
Agent Goldfish: The phrase “don’t like, don’t watch” has some truth to it. True, reviewers love to punish themselves for the sake of reviewing, and that’s fine. But the thing is, you shouldn’t pay for something, theaters or DVD that you know you will hate, as it tells people you want more. Thus, they will make more and get more money of you.,
So you are saying..
Agent Goldfish: Don’t use money on bad things, and bad things won’t keep being made.
…But I never spent a time on any movie i’d done here, including this one. I watch them on sites on Netflix and …other places. No download or money invovled. Heck, Shark Tale is the only bad movie I’ve seen in theaters.
Agent Goldfish: Oh…really? So…the whole reason I made you really do these movies….is now pointless.
Agent Goldfish: …Hey look, a thing!
…And he’s gone. Well, his words are true either way. I wonder why he didn’t make me do these Santa paws spin off things…eh, i’ll do them some other time. So guys, if they do make more of these, I’ll be there!
So bye and…oh wait. What’s this? Someone left a note and a movie title. It says “You survived Super buddies, but now you must suffer through an even worse 2013 movie.”
…Oh come on, I saw Movie 43. What could possibly be wor-
NEXT: ……that movie.