Hello, Spongey here.
It’s been awhile since I talked about NFL Rush zone, hasn’t it? Close to a year, infact! For those who don’t know, back in April of 2012, I reviewed NFL RUSH ZONE: GUARDIANS OF THE CORE.
It was a series of 5 minute shorts that made up a story that was made into a 40 minute special that capped the story off. Then out of nowhere, it got a 2nd season called Season of The guardians, which was made of normal half hour episodes.
I looked at the first two when it came out, and I never talked about it after that. After a couple episodes I figured I could wait until either the finale or a big episode. Well, there was a superbowl special but I finally got an episode so HUGE that only a review could sum it up well.
Do you want a summary of the first two reviews? Sorry, but there’s so much crap to go through it would take forever. So read these links first:
So what has happened in the series since then? Nothing…and yet EVERYTHING! Basically new guardians got recruited, including asshole turned good guy Troy, dumb guy Marty, Fat Mexican Tua, and enemy turned good guy Ricky.
The show got kind of dull around that time. It was GET THE MACGUFFUN from the bad guy every time, and sometimes one of the members had an ep with a moral. But then came the Superbowl special, where It all changed.
Before this, I still enjoyed it for how dumb it is, but since it wasn’t as TERRIBLE it wasn’t as fun. It’s hard to explain but there you go. Then in the Mystery Guardian, not only did Ricky join the team…something was revealed.
See, RZ, the floating Jor-El head guy, used to be a human scientist. He was Richard zimmer, and he had a son named Warren and a robot assistant named Sidekick. He rarely spent time with his son cuz he was busy but he also respected Sidekick a lot.
So he did this big experiment with Warren. However, it all went wrong. It came close to killing warren, but Richard ended up sacrificing himself. In the end, Richard Zimmer lost some of his memory about who caused the accident, thinking he did it. And he got to be somewhat alive thanks to his floating head equipment.
As for Warren and Sidekick…well, Sidekick took him under his wing and ran away. Before he could really get hurt from the damages, he was put into a big badass robot suit and became bent on revenge by trying to get all the megacores and take over the world.
Wild Card is RZ’s son.
…WHAT. A TWEEST.
I don’t think I saw that coming. This show had very little suspense outside of some cliché morals, and while this is cliché…it’s the closest to a good thing in this series. Long story short, we feel bad for Dropkick since Wild Card always picked on him no matter whatever.
Then there’s a bit where Wild Card acted like a little baby thinking about the thing with his dad. But that got fixed right as he kept picking on Drop Kick. Then we got a small story thing where Drop kick got sick of Wild card’s crap and worked on a project behind his back and even planned a double cross.
Then Wild card got rid of his memory. I was pissed cuz it ruined an interesting story arc…but it turns out Drop kick only pretended to have his mind wipe Then came an ep where RZ got his memory back from his Zimmer days and found out someone else wrecked the project, making him who he is today.
At the same time, things heat up as Drop kick really plans his double cross as he actually becomes a better villain than Wild card. Long story short, at the end of “Drop Kick’s Double Cross” from last week, he finally reveals that he’s been working behind Wild Card’s back the whole time.
He then revealed that HE caused the accident that um, made him who he is. And now he will get rid of Wild Card for good and take his place as the guy trying to take over the world. He then advanced on him.
That’s where we left off, with an AWESOME ending that has Drop kick getting revenge for all the pain he got from Wild Card and he became a badass villain. This show sucks but this story was so surprisingly fascinating that it almost became decent. But it’s still cliché and weird, so the show is still weak.
And with that LOOOOOONG intro comes September 29th’s episode. It’s not the finale, but it was so epic it might as well be. Is next week the finale? No idea. Speaking of which, this aired as the same day as the Breaking Bad series finale.
So while everyone else was shocked when SPOILERS totally SPOILERD I was shocked when all this went down …Okay, I loved BB’s finale more but fuck you.
…This, is Drop Kick’s Downfall
The episode opens with a recap of the last episode. I already told told you some bits, but I left out some dialogue:
“Have could your father have chosen you over me? Daddy gave me a great gift…i think for myself now”
That;s right, Drop kick is doing this cuz he is totes jelly. Before we felt bad for him cuz Wild Card is a dick…but now he has a proper villain backstory. It sucks that Zimmer’s son got more attention but this does not call for being a villain.
But more on that later. The episode actually starts right where the last one left off: with Dropkick standing over a power drained Wild Card.
“I have drained so much of your energy that you will cease to exist in a matter of moments”
…Damn, this is one badass villain. Wild Card was funny but this guy is AWESOME! However, Wild Card tries to fight back and fails/ .
Then we get our visually cool intro with a catchy song. By the way, the intro was nominated for an Emmy. …No, i’m not joking.
NFL RUSH ZONE, one of the dumbest shows ever…was nominated for an emmy of some kind. THIS IS FOR REAL.
Er, anyway, after that the announcer tells what NFL player is supplying his voice for this episode. Yes, they do that in every episode. After THAT, Drop kick gloat’s about his new human emotions.
“Seeing you suffer is quite gratifying”
Wild Card waxes about how Drop kick is being a traitor. Drop Kick points out that it was Dad who treated him with dignity and respect.
“I do regret that it was he who perished in that accident. It was supposed to be you”
Oh yeah, he didn’t reveal last week, it was this one. Sorry. So yes, Drop kick tried to KILL Wild Card. …When did this show get so dark?
“He saved your life, but lost his own., I won’t make that mistake again”
Wild Card, having saved some energy blats Drop kick across the room.
“Never under estimate the wild card”
Can this episode get any more AWESOME?!
Wild Card then teleports away….which he couldn’t do before, for some reason. Anyway, now we sadly must join our boring heroes, as they are playing a video game at Ish’s house. Ish has done two things in this season: Jack and shit.
Until this episode, that is. Kind of. See, Ish’s Dad is an army dude and got unexpected leave. Now he is waiting for him to come home today, This is as close as you’ll get to “Depth” in a character.
Thankfully, we cut to Drop kick after that is finds that Wild Card stole one of Drop kick’s blitz bots. …Then we get back to Ish that night, as mom tells him that Dad is taking longer than expected.
Ish is not happy. He has a moment with mom and yada yada. Cliche crap but it’s better than scene in the first “season”. Suddenly, RZ calls all the guardians to the Hall of Knowledge, as the Carolina panther’s are being attacked.
Ish is asleep so he misses the call. So the others arrive at North Carolina, as meet our NFL guest star: Greg Olson. Then the attack stops so a dude can tell us about Greg and what he is and what he has done.
They do this for every NFL guest star. There’s one in every episode. Needless to say, I don’t like being told pointless crap about a guy who will only be here for a minute. Hell most of the time they have nothing to do with the plot.
They find that Greg was attacked while trying to check out the megacore. The NFL Guest stars in these episodes are HORRIBLE actors, for the most part. Some are…tolerable, such is the case for Greg here.
Then Drop Kick barges in and sends a slime spewing robot after them. Then we get a fight scene that’s not worth recapping. The guys find they can’t fight without ish. Some have issue when a show does show, showing that the main guy is SO AWESOME that no one can fight without him/her even though they are usually capable.
I usually, but I do here cuz it’s so lazily done. Ish thankfully wakes up, and we cut to Wild Card wandering around looking for the Megacore. Then he bumps into Ish, who is really fast as it seems.
Then Drop kick pops up to attack both of them. Drop kick says if Ish returns Wild card, he will return the others. Ish has no idea what to do, so he is slimed into the commercial break.
After the break, Ish takes a beaten down Wild card with him as he runs away. They go through some portal and end up in the HOK. That was almost too contrived. Anyway, Wild Card is locked up cuz of his recent past.
“The question is, will you ever forgive me?”
RZ: Time will tell.
Oh, it thickens…but more on that in a bit.
RZ says they found Wild Card’s new hidout and by extension, Drop kick’s hideout. It’s underwater. Question: The world knows about all the wild card/ guardian stuff, right? We se it treated as kind of normal. So here’s my question….WHY DOESN’T THE GOVERMENT OR MILATIRTY DO ANYTHING AOBUT THIS?!
Are they really leaving this up to some dumbass kids and a floating Jor-El head? I mean, it makes no sense at all!
But back to the show, Wild Card explains that he beefed up security since last time. He also finally tells RZ about what Drop kick did to them.
“Why would he do that?”
If only they just talked about movies and agreed about them half the time.
“With me out of the picture, Drop kick could have you all to himself”
I actually like what they did with Drop kick. They were able to change him from sympathetic guy who is going against his master….to evil heartless villain who has an interesting backstory. I don’t mean that as a bad thing, cuz I think it works.
Okay, it’s kind of cheesy I admit, but this is by far the most complex thing to enter this stupid show. Anyway, Wild card says he needs enegry so he can help stop Drop kick.
“My grudge isn’t with you, not anymore.”
That’s right, it’s the “villain teams up with heroes to stop new villain” cliché. It’s…kind of dumb here but given Drop kick, I will give it a pass. Anyway, Drop kick captured the guardians and will sap their power away.
“Besides trying to stop you from destroying our planet, what did we ever do to you?”
…Okay, that was funny.
“All I ever wanted to be appreciated. To be included. To be part of-”
“Don’t be silly. I’m a robot. Robots don’t have families”
Now we’re getting into the good stuff of Drop kick’s character. It’s neat…but this part I don’t like. One moment, we have this where Drop kick is a woobie…then he’s a complete monster the next moment. It worked for Wild Card as he started this way, but Drop kick keeps flip flopping.
We then get a scene with Ish’s dad as he finally leaving. More on that later. So anyway, Greg Olsen gives RZ his megacore so they can use it’s energy to power Wild card.
But RZ will be doing with Wild card and Ish into Drop kick’s liar. See, RZ got a cool hologram mode that lets him walk around. Some banter later, Drop kick explains his plan. He made a big ass energy way.
He will sap all the energy from the core (That thing that hasn’t been mentioned since season 1) and make him the most powerful guy in the world. And he will use that power, to, you guessed it, take over the wordl.’
Since Drop kick has never seen any movie or cartoons before, he leaves his captured guys as he does other stuff. Marty is able to break out easily. See, what did I say?
Wild Card, RZ, and Ish show up in the liar and Wild Card has to use his chair to get himself at full power again. Drop kick then pops up to take us to another commercial.
After we come back, Drop kick attacks the gang, knowing full well that being stopped could damage Wild card. Rz pleads with him.
“Side kick, please.”
“Way too late for that, Daddy”
Okay, that was lame.
A chase for the megacore ensues. Then RZ is slime and this will stop his Hologram thingy. Drop kick gloats before Wild Card jumps down to kick his shiny metal ass.
“How do your human emotions feel now”
“Good. Seeing you suffer is quite gratifying”
AWESOME CALLBACK IS AWESOME.
Drop Kick then powers up and becomes a big badass robot. All this happens while the other guardians try to stop the power draining ray and whatever. At least these boring guys get something to do.
Marty powers up using the megacore so he can stop some robots and whatever. They do but the energy ray is still gonna launch.
Ish frees RZ from the slime, but RZ sees this big battle and says he must put an end to it.
WILD CARD: what could youi possibly say to make this better?
“…I love you, son”
Oh god, really? You know, the idea is sweet but this line feels so….cheesy. This stops Wild card, but Drop kick keeps on rocking cuz he’s just an irredeemable douche now.
…And the battle does some crap and causes a big hole in the floor that somehow leads to the incinerator. Anyway. Drop kick then falls in.
…That was …really dark. I mean…damn. HE IS DEAD. SOMEONE DIED IN FUCKING MJ FOOTBALL. I mean, wow this show got balls! …But it also kind of sucks as they built of Drop kick changing…then just kill him.
Like, he was sympathetic, then a villain with a good backstory….then a flat out villain who dies. Wow, you’ve mean spiritedly ruined a sympathetic character. Great job!
Wild Card is happy that this robot is out of his life forwever, which i’m okay with as Drop kick did nothing for Wild card today. But now, he has been crushed by rubble as the liar is going down. He can’t get up.
“I’m not going anywhere. My world is crumbling”
He tells RZ to go as everyone needs him. RZ does so, and looks b ack as Wild card goes under. That’s right, Wild card sacrficies his life to save his father and the wordl.
…Okay, that was so awesome I can forgive drop kick’s death. That is kind of cheesy but this show has BALLS killing him off like that. Or at least, having hm accept death.
But before they have to leave, they must stop the energy ray. They must use every ounce of their power to stop the ray or something. Anything to end this episode.
Long story short, they stop the ray, and go back to the HOK. However, RZ’s Hologram form is now gone. But it’s a small sacrifice to stop Drop kick.
“Get back to your families. Treasure them. The way they treasure you”
This, I like. RZ now knows what’s it like when you don’t treasure your family. Your son turns evil and your robot sidekick tries to take over the world. It happens to everyone!
So it looks like we’re done. Let’s move on to the-wait, what’s this? Ish’s dad is driving home that night. Okay cool, are we done now?
Then fog rolls in around his truck. Then…tjhe evil laugh of Wild card is heard.
…What the fuck was that?! Why is there fog? How is Wild Card alive? How did he get out? Why is he evil? WHY!?
TO BE CONTUNED
Oh come on, really?! Fuck you and your AMAZING CLIFFHANGER! So yeah, that’s our episode. Was a lot shorter the 2nd time around, but ah well.
Imagine you are watching The Room. Then halfway through, it gets an actually interesting storyline that you like and you are shocked that a ncwe amazingly terrible movie got somewhat …okay.
That’s what this show is like now. Oh, it still sucks thanks to the many flaws and logic holes I pointed out, But the direction is genuinely interesting, if not for the right reasons.
Wild Card was already awesome for how hammy he is, but his backstory is kind of tragic. I love how damn dark this episode is. Some bits are cheesy but overall it shows balls. Not fake balls like some shows do, but real balls. Strong plentiful balls full of-
Okay, this is getting creepy. My point is, we had death and sacrifice. Granted, Wild Card’s ending was odd but that doesn’t change anything. Now, this episode as a whole isn’t that good.
The main thing is just a bunch of actino scenes I don’t care about. On top of that. Ish and the others are still and they get nothing to do and everything they do feels paddedc so they can say they did something/ Ish’s thing is okay but underused until the ending.
Some bits felt rushed. It’s obvious the writers didn’t give two fucks about Drop kick’s plan and just wanted to get to the good stuff. Which is why the climax didn’t exist. It still falls into the trapping of being cliché and generic.
But again, they make it for it by actually TRYING with Wild card’s plot. They actually put effort into it, which clashes with how little they cared about anything else. This season had so much damn FILLER which I normally don’t bitch about, but since every non-filler episode is cool, it pisses me off.
Why did they hided this from us? No idea, but I like it. It’s a little lame in parts but I like the effort. I thought it was actually cool when Wild card sacrifice himself and Drop kick proves to be an actually awesome villain. Until the end when the writers give a fuck you to his character and kill him.
But hey, they killed a villain in a kid’s show about Football. That’s pretty cool. Overall, this episode respresnts everything this show is doing right….and everything it did wrong. Crtically, it’s meh. But otherwise, it’s fun.
CRITICAL GRADE: C
GUILTY PLEASURE GRADE: B
It took me almost a week to finally get to this episode. So tomorrow’s episode is…THE SEASON FINALE! Yes, after way too long it’s gonna be over. Took them long enough. They even an ad for the season finale during the commercials.
Though they treat it like a normal ep. Whatever. WILL DROP KICK COME BACK SOMEHOW? WILL ISH FIND HIS DAD? IS WILD CARD STILL ALIVE? HOW IS HE ALIVE? WILL THE ENDING SUCK?
Find out next time. Same MJ time, same MJ Channel!