Spongey’s Fright Fest #1: Sharknado

Hello, Spongey here. Welcome  to Spongey’s Fright fest

I’ll be honest, I’m only doing this one because of it’s infamous reputation. It’s technically a horror movie but it doesn’t really count enough for this special.

But fuck it. It’s labeled as a horror movie and I simply MUST discuss this movie somehow. I don’t think I have enough materiel for a play by play review, and this gives me the perfect chance to do a general review.

This, my friends, is SHARKNADO.

Oh yeah. This is the most infamous movie of the year. It comes to us from the Sy-Fy channel, who always brings us insane bad movies like this one. This movie also comes to us from The Asylum, a company known for Mock busters.

But this ain’t no mockbuster. Okay, it does rip off jaws at one point but that’s not my point. My point is that two crap factories have teamed up once again to give us one of the best bad movies of the year.

As soon as word got out that this movie existed, everyone started talking about it. It was hyped like hell and everyone had to make a joke about it. When the movie came out, it only got better. Everyone loved how bad it was.

It got to the point where people praise the film even on a critical level for it’s badness It has 91 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, which is higher than most actually good movies. Of course EVERY review is technically “positive”, saying it’s so bad it’s good. Some just had their ratings be different.

I didn’t see it when it first aired, but I did catch the first official rerun. Was it as good-bad as I was expecting? OF COURSE IT WAS.

So let’s start the review:

PLOT: A freak tornado hit Los Angeles causing man-eating sharks to be scooped up in water spouts and flooding the city with shark-infested seawater. Surfer and bar-owner Fin (hardy har har) sets out with his friends Baz and Nova to rescue his estranged wife April and Claudia

One bit of that summary is wrong. The sharks come up because of a hurricane. A freak hurricane shows up forcing sharks up onto land at great speeds and they eventually get through the sewers and stuff.

Yes, the sharks show up in a hurricane. The title is A LIE. Though to be fair SHARKICANE isn’t as catchy of a title. Plus, sharks do end up in tornadoes in the 3rd act. So whatever.

Before I can get into the awesome stuff, I must discuss the obvious stuff: This movie is bad. The plot makes no sense, the logic is not logical, and the characters are all completely dull with no personality. Also the effects blow dick.

It is not legitimately good by any means. But, of course, it’s WONDERFULLY bad. Though to be honest, it’s not the best bad movie ever made. It has patches of dull-ness early on and a couple bits early on seem to wait for anything to happen.

Of course the actual awesome parts make up for it but it does prevent me from saying it’s the most epic bad movie ever made or anything. Now, this movie was never made to be taken seriously.

Everyone involved with this movie knew it was meant to be stupid, and said it’s not to be taken seriously. Actress Tara Reid said ““It is silly, and there’s only a certain amount of barriers you could go into. You can’t take it so seriously when it’s absolutely the sharks flying in the sky. It’s so out there that it’s actually really funny”

The director and others have confirmed that it was meant to be silly. How much of it was meant to be stupid and how much ended up being accidental is anyone’s guess.

The idea had been floating around for a long time and I even put a reference to it in a movie I wrote last year for SyFy.

How this movie took so long to get the green light when any normal produce would say YES in heartbeat is beyond me.

We tried to make the most entertaining film possible given what we had. We just hoped people would react the same way we did while we were filming it.

So this movie was good-bad on propose, and I love them for that. While it has some of my new fave bad movie moments, it’s far from the best bad movie ever, or legitimately “clever”.

But who cares? It’s a blast! There are tons of errors from obvious ones to not so obvious ones. As in, Cinema Sins level stuff. (No, the movie has no lapdance or Liam neeson killing people). That’s what makes it hilarious.

To start with, the characters are what you’d expect. Fin is the dull hero who reaches Marty Stu levels with how awesome he is. Bax is the friend, Nova is hot chick who is also “tough” and George is the pervy friend. He was actually my favorite for his funny lines….but of course he’s the first to die.

Yeah, spoilers but it’s not like this movie any great twists. (The Sharknado is fins father)

April is the wife, and Claudia does nothing. The acting is what you’d expect. Nothing horrible, and some feels even acceptable. They certainly look like they had fun. Except Tara Reid…she’s meh.

There are odd attempts to give more depth or whatever. To some these parts are dull, but for me, they add to the hilarity. In one scene we get introduced to April’s jerk boyfriend. Before my most hated cliché goes any further, he gets eaten by a shark. YAY!

Later on, Nova is talking to this one and she explains why she hates Sharks. Besides the whole “trying to eat her all fucking day” thing. After her backstory, the dude says he hates sharks too now.

Again, the sharks eating you all day didn’t make you hate sharks, but this one backstory was the straw that broke the shark’s back?

But by the end any character stuff again, save for “SAVED THE LOVED ONES” or whatever. I guess Nova ended up with Fin or whatever cuz he saves her the best scene in the whole movie. But he’s also with Tara Reid or something…

Wait, why am I trying to follow the plot of SHARKNADO?!

Getting back to the good stuff, the plot goes from point A to point B with no real shocks. It’s mostly the gang running from sharks. That’s alright, but man, this movie has some dumbass logic.

For one, Sharks can just…breathe on land while being thrown around. They can survive in the sewers and become smart enough to get inland enough to eat people in their homes.

And how will they stop the sharknados once they finally appear? Blow them up. Well, duh!

But again, that’s the fun. Aside from the bad effects and obvious funny stuff, logic like that makes it even funnier!

At one point, they save a schoolbus (?) and meet some hippie teacher guy. He looks up to see …the Hollywood sign falling down to him.

My mom always said Hollywood would kill me”

It then crushed him and he dies. Add some crappy effects and you have a scene that made me laugh hard. And in another scene, a shark flies towards fin, and he just casually holds up a chainsaw while walking to it AND THE SHARK HITS IT AND SPLITS IN HALF.

That’s only scratching the surface. The movie is filled with hilarious moments like that. I won’t DARE spoil the end. It’s…too awesome.

There actually isn’t more to say. I’ve told you everything I wanted to discuss. Perhaps this could have been a more…typical review for when the movie came out, instead of the in depth stuff I’m doing for fright fest.

I will say that even before the Sharks show up, it’s fun as we see some enjoyable dialogue from some of the friends. So I wasn’t too bored during say, the early bar scene. Once the sharks show up in the house…that’s where it gets awesome.

All the hilariously bad moments make up for the actually weak stuff. I can’t honestly condone The Asylum’s mockbuster antics like Good bad flicks over here, since most of them are honestly kind of boring and pointless.

Though I hear some of their mockbuster are funny bad, it’s their monster movies like 2 Headed Shark attack that end up being the best. Though The Aslyum seems to be aware of their status, as this movie clearly shows.

Good Bad Flicks’ video (http://blip.tv/goodbadflicks/sharknado-good-bad-flicks-6639483) has the history of the Asylum so you can check that out.

So yeah, there’s Sharknado. But that’s not the end. This movie such a huge hit in it’s 2nd airing, that there will be a sequel! Sure, there are better movies that need a sequel, but fuck it, it’s SHARKNADO.

And the title, honest to god, will be…..Sharknado 2…the second one.

BEST. SEQUEL. TITLE. EVER.

Grade: B+

That’s on a bad movie scale, of course. Sorry for the short review, I’ll do better next time. See ya!

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About Spongey444

I'm 20 and I'm a slightly below average man who can barely spell. I mostly spend my time watching TV and movies, hence why i ended doing a blog all about those things. I tend to have weird tastes, but I like think I'm just fair on things.
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