Hello, Spongey here
Well, it’s December…well it’s the last day of november. CLOSE ENOUGH.
Which means i get to do many christmas reviews!
Man, i love christmas. There’s nothing better than that ol’ christmas feeling. and christmas special reflect that. hell, i did a whole month of christmas last year, highlighting many good and bad christmas specials.
But this year, I’m, just doing a few normal reviews. so what do we start with? A sequel to a shitty live action adapation.
for those who didn’t remember, A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow up Timmy Turner was a live action Tv Movie, based on The Fairly odd Christmas. The show was about a kid named Timmy who had an evil babysitter named Vicky, careless parents (who have no names), and an evil teacher named Mr Crocker. In this world, sad little kids get Fairy god parents, to grant their wishes. Timmy gets cosmo and wanda, and since timmy is a bit of a dick, hailrity ensues!
Oh, and then Cosmo gets preggo and has a kid named poof. Don’t ask
the show was extremely Cartoony, so you’d think it could never be made into live action. well, Butch Hartman didn’t think so, thus a Tv movie was greenlit.
It was about timmy now 23, (and played by Drake Bell) as he is staying kid-like his fairies. though he was very happy, since he had magic, and vicky wasn’t his babysitty. The show said that happy kid=no fairies.
Anyway, then there’s this evil oil guy, and Tootie comes in. ttimmy falls in love cuz she’s hot. he stops the evil dude, and gets to keep his faires as he goes around the world giving kids wishes.
It sucked. the cartoon-y elments didn’t work. The character rarely acted like their animated version, the actors were meh, and the whole love thing was forced. Granted, Crocker and Jorgen were fun, and at least it was faithful to the show, making it slightly better than The Last airbender.
but of course, it won in the ratings, so they made a sequel. sure, the movie ended on a note that closed the book on timmy’s whole story for good. but it made “money” so yeah, a sequel.
But then they made it a christmas movie. that makes it even more pontless. it aired just yesterday and it’s only 25 hours old as of this posting, and i have it on my DVR. let’s check it out!
This, is A Fairly odd christmas
The movie opens in Santa’s workshop, with some elves. They present Santa and have happy times. Then the nice and naughty lists are brought out.
And carrying in the naughty list is Elmer the elf, played by tony cox. Why am i not shocked that a guy from disaster movie is in thus
from the way people react to him, he isn’t too well liked. gee, maybe he’s the vilain! anyway, santa checks out the lists. However, the names start vanishing from the list.
“Who’s messing WITH MY CHRISTMAS LIIIIIIIIST!?
Seriously, that was terrible. Also, skyward scream ftw
snd with that, we cut to Timmy. see, at the end of the first one, Yimmy started a service called wishful thinking, where he goes around the world wishing for kid’s to have stuff. So here, he’s flying around with Tootie, (again played by Daniella monet), Cosmo and Wanda.
We also find out that since poof turned into randy jackson in the last movie, he hasn’t been able to say anothe word. i’ll say this: the CGI on Cosmo, and Wanda and poof have improved. they actually look decent!
So they head around the world, giving stuff to kids. Eventually, they end up back in dimmesdale, where we run into crocker, played by David Lewis. Once again, he is perfectly cast and Crocker is a hammy delight
he spots Timmy landing, and runs to him. But some kids stop to talk to him, and thus we learn that for christmas, he always got coal. except when he was good for the first ten years before turning evil. right?
Continuty, what’s that?
and then the kid’s tell him about the naughty list…and he’s never heard of it. Yes, he knows Santa, but not the naughty/nice thing. Wut.
Whatever, back to timmy and Tootie. He runs into his mom and dad. dad is still played the orginal voice actor, and again, he’s perfectly cast and funny
We also find out that they are happy timmy moved out. Wow, even after the series (for now) finale, and even Channel chasers, they still hate timmy. Fuckers..
Dad and mom are dressed as santa and a elf
Okay, that was funny
“I want a magical pony who poops ice cream”
…I’m not touching that one
and then in walks some elves. These guys are Christmas Carol and Dingle dave. And…they know and hate cosmo and wanda.
Why? not explained. Anyway, Crocker is spying on them. Hey, if crocker actually knows timmy has faires, why haven’t they been taken away? If an adult knows, then…well that’s the end.
Again, continuty, what’s that?
Anyway, santa wants to see Timmy right away. so they head to the north pole. Right away, they see a big snowman, which the elves say is the christmas genereator. I don’t remember THAT from the 2 FOP christmas episodes..
Also, crocker stowed away. k.
So they head into Santa’s workshop and Timmy is amazed…despite having been there before. Anyway, Santa walks in and wants to talk to timmy. In between, we get WACKY HINJIX with crocker as he sneaks into the workshop and disguises himself as an elf.
Another elf buys into it despite him being way too tall. Back with timmy, we find out that the gifts timmy have given kids were ones that santa was going to give. So thus, santa isn’t needed anymore.
Wait, didn’t they establish in the FOP christmas ep that Santa gets his magic from the faires and thus faries can’t do shit around christmas?
Continuty, what’s that?
He tells them that about his power that the faries give him.
“With power comes great responsablity”
Okay, two things
1. IF YOU MISSED IT DON’T WORRY, THE’LL SAY THE LINE, AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN…
2. …Is that an actor alussion to his role in ultimate spider man? LAME
He tells timmy that wishing is Santa’s job at christmas time. But then some machine breaks down, and santa mumbles that he wishes it would stop breaking down.
“He just made a wish”
WANDA: Didn’t santa just ask you not to..
This is timmy turner. It’s a wonder he even LISTENS to the morals of this show.
They try granting the wish but as it turns out, fairy magoc + elf building= bad. So it goes all crazy and santa is knocked out and now crazy.
So now he forgot who he is. So thus the workshop won’t work and thus they are screwed. Also, Jorgen von strangle shows up to ham it up
He hands timmy da rules. Doesn’t he ever read that damn thing? If a godchild stops a holiday figures from doing his duties..
COSMO: He said doody
Vaneloppe did it better
-and the godchild must do the icons dutys until he gets better. Thus we get our incredibly cliche plot-line. Yeah i know that we only have like 5 christmas plots we use, but come on, they didn’t even TRY.
Anyway, Timmy dons Santa’s hat and gets his powers. Oh, and we get a bit where crocker runs into reigndeer poop.
But then we find out that timmy can’t be santa…cuz he is on the naughty list. Why? Cuz he ruined christmas in the first place and destroyed Santa.
Which happend cuz he was being nice to the kids of the world. So he isn’t a naughty person at all.
Gotta love that type of bullshit!
So the only person who can take timmy off is…elmer. Not the kid with the boil, the elf. Only elmer lives quite far away, and the path to him has dangers.
So there’s our story. Timmy used fairy magic, which should be Santa’s, to grant wishes, which pissed him off, he didn’t LISTEN, messed up santa, got on the list despite being a good person, and must go on a journey to get him off the list.
The plot is litteraly made of holes!
Oh, and Crocker barges in and explains why he is here. so now he wants his name off the list too and is coming along. Cuz crocker is such a nice guy, he allows it.
So thus, they head off into the snow with the elves. So our first stop in this road trip is a forrest of sharp candy canes.
They get by it pretty quickly. but then they all fall off the side of a moutain. Even worse, Timmy and crocker got seperated from the rest. Cuz it’s not a road movie without our characters splitting up from the others.
The elves, faries and tootie spot a big (FAKE AS HELL) penguin. Tootie speaks penguin cuz she’s a sue, and asks him for directions. Sure, why not?
Meanwhile, crocker and timmy aren’t as lucky.they head off as well., but then they run into…giant ginger-bread men,
Yes, they are also badly CG’ed. They are also nice and will help timmy. These guys are Ginger Fred, Ginger Ed, Ginger Ned, and Ginger Jed…who crocker has eaten.
So then they run frrom the killer gingerbread men. That’s something i never thought i’d type.
Back with Tootie, they actually run into timmy! YEAH, TENSION RESOLVED QUICKLY. But of course, they still have the killer gingerbread men to deal with. They are able to escape, but get lost.
So that night, they set up camp. The male elf fails to set up a tent, so later…
“Says the big guy who can’t set up a tent”
…That’s what she said?
With the help of some coal crocker has, they set up a fire. Cosmo and wanda bond with the elves in that cliche fashion.
Timmy and tootie cuddle up in a forced bit of heart. Back at the north pole, the cheer meter is dropping, so christmas gloom spreads over the world..
Back with the gang, they end up on a ricket-y bridge. Does every epic journey need a bridge?! Anyway, long and un-funny story short, they make it across,.
Trust me, I’m saving you like 4 minutes of padding here. but then…Timmy ends up falling to his death. The end!
Okay, not really. it’s a disney death all the way. He climbs up and everything is fine POINTLESS TENSION YAY.
So then they find a sign telling us that they are now in elmer’s realm. Well that was fast. Then again, this movie is only like an hour.
They enter elmer’s place. He knows all.
“Does he know why wanda’s cupcakes are so dry?”
ELMER: She forgot to add eggs
WANDA: He’s right!
…Okay, that was kind of funny. Anyway, Elmer comes up and tells us that HE is the one who watches kids,and knows who is sleeping.
And that song just got creepier knowing they are refering to a black midget.
He tells elemer the score
“Like i don’t know this?”
SHREDDER: i wasn’t talking to you, i was talking to them!
So why is timmy on the naughty list?
“You haven’t done anything, your faries have done all the work. You still go about making wishes with reckless-ness!”
Bull. you just underminded the entire moral timmy learned in the first movie! Okay, they have a point, as we see the bad shit his wishes have caused. But my point still stands.
So timmy is learning the lesson he’s been taught like 50 FUCKING TIMES. You think by the 2nd movie, he’d learn.
“with magic comes-”
“great responsablity, i know”
“I was gonna say a lot of problems, but that works too”
Okay, that was also funny
CROCKER: How do i get off the naughty list?
“You have to be nice”
So was that!
So Elmer walks off, leading to more forced sad-ness. But the others tell him that they are still proud of him for trying.
CROCKER: He saved my life. That guy doesn’t know anything. You risked your life, all in the name of saving christmas. You, you tried.
Hey, heart that works! only a well cast crocker can do that
Elmer hears this, and says that since timmy meant well, he isn’t naughty. You think he would have been able to tell, since it was obvious. Whatever, this whole movie is made out of forced plot points.
And thus, Timmy is put off the naughty list. But wait, they gotta do the pointless chase scene to get to the north pole in time!
So they take Elmer’s ride and head off. They make it there in time, so during an instrumental version of the christmas everyday song from the first xmax ep (nice touch, O admit), Ymmy dons santa’s outfit.
Cue to the present making montage. Ueah, i’ll play Phineas and Ferb’s “Christmas is starting now” over this. Now THAT’S a christmas montage!
But wait, the christmas gloom cloud thingy is still there and they gotta stop it! Great, make this movie longer, why don’t ya?
They set up the sleigh, and head off. So they fly over the world, giving the presents to remove the gloom. With that, it becomes Christmas day. Santa even becomes normal again!
Hell, Crocker is even put on the nice list. so…he didn’t get shafted! YAY, they give a good character some dignity!
Oh, and an elf also tells us why they hates faries.
“The faries borrowed our power dril and never returned it”
“We left it on your back porch!”
So timmy saves christmas, Tootie dons a sexy outfit, and they kiss under the mistle toe in santa’s workshop.
Then poof speaks up to us, now voiced by tara strong. Yeah, she went from randy jackson to twilight sparkle. Don’t get it.
“No faries were harmed in the making of this movie!
My brain cells were. And so the movie ends with Yimmy’s dad getting a pony that shits ice cream.
What a lovely note to end on.
This was bad…but better than the first one. Yhe first movie was was too overly cartoon-y, and it was really annoying. Thankfully, it’s toned down for this movie, and it’s more down to earth.
The raped versions of vicky, chester and AJ are thankfully mostly absent, Crocker is given more dignity and Timmy acts more like himself at points. so it’s more tolerable in that aspect.
On the flip side, Tootie is still dull, the jokes are still mostly un-funny, and the plot is really cliche, rushed, and full of holes that just make no sense.
The attempts are heart are mostly forced and lame. However,I still like crocker, and he’s nicely in character this time, and like i said, he has been given dignity. so him, I liked.
Not so much the christmas stuff. It just felt like the typical saving christmas crap we’ve seen before. A lot of times, it feels more like a generic kid’s movie than a fairly odd parents movie.
However, some jokes work, crocker works, and it’s less dumb than the first one. But the plot is a mess, the characters are mostly boring, and it’s still bad.
But it did well in the ratings, so that means we’ll get a third one. so be ready for a fairly odd movie christmas 3: the Squeakuel.