Halloween in July: Under Wraps

Hello, Spongey here

Welcome back to Halloween in July!

So I was writing my review for my 2nd RL Stine film Review, Mostly Ghostly. I thought I had saved it, so I went to bed. When I woke up the computer was slow, so I rebooted. When It returned. I opened the file. Pretty much all of the review was gone save for the intro

FUCK WORD

But yeah, sorry word sucks. But I’ll give you a short review of the film, free of charge.

Wikipedia: Max Doyle (Sterling Beaumon) is an 11-year-old whose love of performing magic disappoints his father (David DeLuise) and draws ridicule from his older brother, Colin (Adam Hicks). hidden tunnel behind  a basement  wall happens to harbor the evil, hammy, Phears (Brian Stepanek) and his cadre of ghosts. Phears is intent on freeing himself and his minions from the world of ghosts to inhabit the physical world but will be able to do so only on Halloween.

Later, Max finds the ghosts of two children, Nicky (Luke Benward) and Tara Roland (Madison Pettis), have suddenly come to occupy his room. They explain that they need his help in learning who they are, how they came to be ghosts, and what has happened to their parents

And the rest you can see for yourself. The story is interesting, it doesn’t take itself too seriously, and Phears is awesome. Also, the dad is this is the dad from Wizards of waverly place…and the son in this is max, and he likes magic.

Yes.

So yeah, an A film, and I’m sorry it did not get the right review. But let’s look at the last Stine film to make up for –

…what do you mean it’s not on youtube anymore? What do you MEAN there’s no good torrent?!

Oh fuck me I hate my life.

I won’t explain the plot to When Good Ghouls Go Bad but I will say it is a lot of fun.

Oh, and it has Christopher Lloyd as a zombie. Yes.

So okay, two A films I can’t review. What CAN I review?!

Hmmm…I got it!

This, is Under Wraps

First, the creative team. The writer has written…Big Momma’s house. On the good side, Surf’s up, and rio!

The director has problem child 3,  and The ultimate Christmas present, another DCOM.

 

The movie opens with a little kid named Bed  at dinner with his family. He is afraid of sleeping in his room but his dad tells him he’s gonna do it. His sister mocks him for this. The kid thinks a monster is afoot for whatever reason, but his dad assures him they aren’t real.

The kid walks away, and the dad goes to wash dishes. Then a monster pops out of the window!

And…it was all a movie our main character Is watching of course

This brings upon a trope I think applies here: there is no B in movie. Which Is when characters are watching a B movie, though to me I notice a trend where the in movie characters take it seriously. Remember shock street?

Well anyway,. Our main character is Marshell…played by the kid from Warriors of virtue. Yay. His friend, who is scared, is Gilbert. He is played by…the nerdy kid from rebound.

Why does that movie keep trying to haunt me?! Also, two reviews in a row with a rebound guy in it. I swear, I didn’t plan this!]

Gilbert is so scared he walks out and waits for Marsh. I’ll call him that cuz why not.. they walk out and talk about movies. Gilbert doesn’t like horrors, and instead says he likes the sound of music

“it’s got singing, dancing, Nazis,….well the Nazis don’t sing and dance, which would be really cool”

Yeah, go to Freddie as FR07 for that

The kids spot the car of “Mr Kubat” , the creepy neighbor dude. And talk about how odd he is. They walk by his house, and Marsh decides to pay creepy dude back for…being an ass I guess.

“but one kid blew up his mailbox with a cherry bomb and no one saw him again!” “…he moved” “Well he never writes”

Heh

“Creepy old men scare me”

Understandable, Rebound kid

The kid’s walk up to his front door, and it opens to reveal one scary dude. We are informed Rebound kid is kubat’s paper boy, and mr k owes him money. Before the kids can say anything else, kubat’s big dog walks out and the kids run,

The kid’s go home. Here we learn marsh just has a mom, (Did I mention this is a Disney film?) who has a boyfriend named Ted. From the looks of it, marsh has “clichmomboyfriendhate” syndrome. Ted is actually pretty nice from this scene.

Marsh goes to his room, but his mom steps in to talk. It only lasts a bit as she tells marsh ted is a nice dude, and she leaves. This is well done, since It has more heart than any cliché movie does.

We cut to the next day at lunch, where a girl tells Marsh some news: Kubat is dead. DUN. DUN. DUN!

He died of a heart attack while making pancakes. Make your own joke. The girl tells Marsh that Kubat used to own a musem and her mom’s company is selling his house. We are then told there is a rumor that kubat has a coffin and his basement, and Marsh wants to find out if that is true.

We cut  to that night, as the girl and Marsh show up at Rebound kid’s house, to go check that out. He tries to get out of it, by saying his mom won’t let him and…

“Mrs. Anderson?”

“Call me Esmerelda!”

“Her name’s not Esmerelda.”

“She’s role playing. Go with it.”

She’s…quite nutty. They tell mom they’re going for ice cream, so she says yes, and they head out. They head to the house, and long story short, they make It to mr k’s basement. Sure enough, they spot a coffin. But Rebound kid gets scared and runs, only to find out he dropped his glasses back there.

So the kids head back to get the glasses and find out what it is in the coffin.  Eventually they open it and find…nothing!

But of course they stumble about and bump into…a mummy!  And he is ..played by Bill Faggerbake…aka PATRICK STAR

This is now the best movie ever made.

Oh, and he plays Ted  too!

And it…simply stumbles a bit and the kids think it is scary. Eventually it stops and…goes into the bathroom and takes a piss. There’s an image: a mummy pissing.  Thankfully, the movie doesn’t show us the process.

The mummy steps out and he gives Rebound kid his glasses back. Yep, it’s a nice mummy. They quickly see it is a nice guy and he even seems to be as scared as them as they are of him.

The kids wonder what to do with the mummy, and decide to leave him there until they can think of a better plan. They also have a sweet moment where they see the mummy can “talk” and thank him for finding the glasses.

We cut to the next day at school, with the kids talking.

“I was gonna tell my mother, but she was having a tea party for her dolls. When she does that…….well, it’s best not to interrupt her.”

…His mom is funny but INSANE. Someone call child’s services!

Oh, and random guy hits on the girl. She turns him and down, the boys asks why.

“He saw that olsen twins movie twice. How can you respect a guy like that?”

…clap. Clap. Clap.

They discuss the mummy some more.

“mummies don’t eat people, that’s zombies”

MUMMIES ARE ZOMIBES WRAPPED IN GAUZE, IDIOT.

Sorry…had to get that out. The kids need to know more about mummies so they head to the bookstore since internet wasn’t too large in 1997.

They talk to the owner, bruce, who they know, and first discuss this new movie.

“ I don’t care what siskel and ebert say, that was art”

They ask about mummies, and he pulls out a book on them. They find out from the book that if the mummy is not put back in his coffin before midnight on Halloween, the mummy will cease to exist.

They head out and bump into some kid that bugs Amy, the girl, who has a blaket…the boy, not amy

“This isn’t a blanket it’s a RAG. I carry it around in case I have to wipe up something.”

“Yeah, and I’m not wearing a bra, I’m wearing a bulletproof vest”

“…You’re wearing a bra?”

“Shut up”

Awkward.

They are told by the kid that a truck was seen taking out mr K’s stuff. They head in and find Amy’s mom showing the house off to a new couple.  All of his stuff was taken by the IRS. Mom tells them the basement was empty when the movers got here.

We cut to the…dairy freeze, as the mummy has escaped and has stumbled there. If the mummy made It that far, how come no one saw him?

Also, figures patrick’s first stop would be this. He hits the button activing the voice thingy at the drive through, and funnily enough, the lady turns his grunts into an actual order.

And the mummy actually takes his soda before the lady comes by. It’s more funny in context. The mummy then wanders into a hospital. Oh boy..

A doctor sees him and mistakes him for a burn victim, though no one else before this noticed him.  The mummy escapes, though not without a chase, just as the kids happen to be nearby!

They spot the mummy and take him away from the doctors. They decide to take him to Marsh’s house to hide him,. So Marsh is now living with a mummy.

I SMELL A SITCOM

Let me tell you about my buddy,
He’s 3,000 years old,
He’s wrapped in bandages and covered in mold and debris
My undead mummy and me,
Mm-mm,
If a bully ever tries to poke me in the eye,
I’ll introduce him to my decomposing guy,
And he’ll flee,
From my undead mummy and me,
All the kids at school are gonna have a conniption,
When they get a load of my funky Egyptian emcee…

My undead mummy and me,
Yeah…
Undead mummy and me!

Sorry, I had to.

.After some funny comedy bits, they decide to name him Harold, cuz why not.

Suddenly, we cut to three guys with the coffin. They are not happy that there is nothing inside, and we do not know who these guys are for now. All that we know is that they want the mummy and don’t know it can walk.

We cut to that night, as Marsh and Harold are…talking. Well marsh is just talking about Ted while Harold listens.

After Marsh talks, Harold comforts him in the only scene with a mummy I can call sweet.  But the mummy can’t sleep, since he already woke up from a thousand year nap. He heads outside.

One amusing bit with  a dog later, a bus drives by with some Egypt-y thing on it, and he runs after it.  Marsh notices the mummy has vanished and calls his friends to help find the mummy on the loose.

Oh, and Rebound kid has odd PJ’s and he says he bets Amy has some odd ones too

“ I don’t wear pajama’s, I sleep In the nude”

“..what?”

“grow up”

So anyway..

The kids first check the museum. They quickly find Harold. Oh, and a plaque talking about a high priest and based on Harold’s reaction, they find out HE is an old priest dude.  Turns out in life, he spent most of his time being of service to the queen.

Harold opens the queens Sarcophagus and well..the dead isn’t the only thing rising.. Yep, he was in love. With tha,  the kid’s head home.

The next day Marsh and amy are talking, and we are told Harold stayed up watching sappy movies, all of which are more classy than this one.  They also talk about the whole Halloween midnight thing, and Amy thinks marsh may not like Harold “dying” since they are attached. Marsh denies that..then admits it.

Then it sets in the tradgey of Harold. In life he had a sweet deal: job, riches, a girlfriend he loved but kept a secret, but now they are all he’s got, and they can’t let him down. Damn.

Remember that little kid, from the bra scene? He shows up, and notices the mummy as belonging to the coffin that a yellow truck carried off.

But the kid can’t read, so he doesn’t know what it said,. But he does say “Don’t ask the guy for any ice cream, he won’t give it to ya”

Funny.

“wait. Barren’s ice cream trucks are yellow”

Uh…why would an ice cream truck HAVE A COFFIN?!

They go with this and decide to go to that ice cream’s factory. Of course the big guy may draw a crowd, so they get him some clothes to cover his old crud up.  They get to the factory, but marsh sneaks in alone because of the guards.

Marsh spots those dudes from earlier.  And we find out of those guys…is kubat!! DUN DUN DUN!

Marsh runs out and tells his friends of this new info. Kubat faked his own death, and will sell the coffin. I guess faking deaths helps coffin sales. So they need to put a 3000 year old mummy in a coffin by midnight, but bad guys are in their way. Well, this is quite the pickle.

They need a car to haul that big coffin away, so they try for bruce, the only adult they can trust. We cut to that night, at a Halloween carnival.  Marsh/Amy go to find bruce, leaving Rebound kid with Harold. But he goes to get some candy, leaving harodl alone.

Then Kubat’s goons show up. Turns out they saw the kid’s leave and followed them here. they spot the mummy right away and go in after it. Harold is oblivious and just stumbles about.

Long story short, Harold bumps into a chick, and one pretty funny bit later, she unwraps his face to look at him and…well he’s not exactly a looker, and everyone screams.

The kids meet up in the chaos, and take Harold out. They bump into bruce, and quickly explain it all about how they need his car. But it is a bit too late, as the goons capture Harold!

Now they gotta solve this mess. They gotta get Harold back to the museum next to his true love.  They head back to the factory, and start to think of a plan.

But Rebound kid tells Marsh he is scared, so he’ll wait in  the car, while the other two get Harold. Amy distracts the guard by pretending to be in danger, then Bruce gets  a crowning moment of awesome by jumping up and tackling the guard, and knocking him out!

The kids head in. Marsh spots kubat talking to the buyers, and saying the deal is off. They take it well, and no that isn’t sarcasm. Marsh sneaks away and spots Harold!

Though he has some chains on him.  But they make it a bit too much noise and are caught  but thankfully, Marsh frees Harold.

The kids get to Harold’s coffin, but Mr.K shows up. Kubat tells Marsh he didn’t exactly plan on unleashing a mummy, but now he shall sell it. But why did he fake his death?

“Over the years I was able to get many wonderful artifacts. I was gonna retire, wait a few years, and slowly sell it off. But when the IRS started to catch me for tax evasion…

“And they can’t arrest a dead man!”

…Good enough.

So Kubat has the kids captured, and the mummy ready to sell.. what can save them?  …Rebound kid driving the car right through the damn wall!

FUCK YEAH!

But this doesn’t help much as Kid gets out only to face Mr K’s…gun. Yikes,.  All seems lost when…Harold takes the gun and starts beating up Mr K!

BEST. MUMMY. EVER.

Mr K gets his ass kicked, and the goons flee. Now they just need to get Harold to the museum!  And we just cut to them there since driving isn’t exciting. unless you ask birdemic.

Harold takes a peek at that queen. We see she has a red amulet thing and…Harold takes out his! Suddenly, flash of lightning. Mummy queen wakes up.

But this is cut short, as Harold says bye to his love and gets down in his coffin.  They all have a sweet goodbye as Harold gives Marsh that amulet thing.

The two coffins are closed, and Harold is reunited with his love as he goes to sleep. We cut to the next day, as Marsh is talking to his mom. She brings up Ted again. She really loves him and…Marsh actually suggest they should marry, and he is now okay with this.

After that, Gilbert, yep I’m calling him that, shows up to take Marsh to the movies. As soon as he says amy is coming, he..asks if his shirt is right. Oh boy..

This isn’t out of the blue, as there were some tiny moments building up to this.  Amy shows up and the two talk a bit. Then he playfully insults her hair when Gilbert walks by, restring the status quo.

The Three kids walk off, as Marsh tells them all about tao. The end.

Final Thoughts:

 

This was pretty good. The characters have charm, the story is fast placed, and the clichés are done well.

It’s fun, funny, and a good ride. It has that Halloween feel to it that I love. It’s not only a good Halloween movie, it’s a decent movie in general. It has it’s odd moments, and not all the jokes work, but it’s still a fun classic.

Plus, it has the best mummy ever. Nothing beats Patrick as a mummy. Just…nothing.  Thankfully, Disney shows this every year, and everyone seems to know it and love it. Not a perfect movie, but a fun’ one

Grade: B+

 

See ya, as Halloween in July Continues

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About Spongey444

I'm 20 and I'm a slightly below average man who can barely spell. I mostly spend my time watching TV and movies, hence why i ended doing a blog all about those things. I tend to have weird tastes, but I like think I'm just fair on things.
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