Goosebump a thon #44: Say Cheese and Die Again

Hello, Spongey here

 

Welcome back to Goosebump-athon!

Well there’s something you should know, so I’m gonna tell you so

Don’t sweat it, forget it, enjoy the show

Blogging all day now it’s time to unwind, kick back, relax, take a load off your mind

 

IT’S SEQUEL TIME!

PREVIOUSLY ON GOOSEBUMPS:

Greg found a camera in a hobo’s house, but it told the future and made it bad. He and his friend Shari put it back, but the hobo dude said he won’t let them leave cuz he made the camera or whatever. But greg snapped a pick, and  spidey the hobo died of fear. Now it’s a year later. Will Greg be able to face the camera again? Will I survive this sequel?

 

Say Cheese and Die again

 Image

Cover:  I always loved the skeleton theme these books have. This one is great. Gotta love Greg’s shirt

                                            

Front Tagline: Think negative…real negative (This makes no sense unless you read the book)

Back Tagline:  “picture perfect nightmare”

Summary:

The book starts with Greg in his English class being called upon by Mr. Saur, his English teacher, to report about what he did last summer.

…FALL

DON’T PULL A RETURN OF THE MUMMY ON ME BITCH

Greg narrates what happened to him last FALL with the evil camera, which then results in him being given an “F” on his assignment. Greg insists to his teacher that it’s true. Mr. Saur challenges Greg to prove his story by showing him the evil camera. Greg is desperate to visit his cousins in the summer and in order to do so, he must improve his grades in English.

He talks about this with Shari, doug and Micheal, and I hope you enjoy this scene, as you never see doug or Micheal ever again!

They say he shouldn’t get the camera, as it kind of KILLED A GUY LAST TIME.

So of course greg-

Goes to get it.

Dude

It killed a guy

Hurt your dad

Hurt Doug

Made shari vanish

And you get it FOR A FUCKING GRADE?!

Later that night, Greg visits the Coffman House and upon his arrival, he discovers that the house has been cleared out. While searching for the camera in the debris, a kid named Jon catches him, thinking Greg is a thief.

He soon realizes that this is not the case. Greg learns that Jon is the son of the new owner of the Coffman house. So what, they didn’t see the dead body of spidey?

Greg finally finds the camera under a raccoon’s dead body (what) and Jon becomes curious as to why Greg is interested in it. Greg says that he must show it in class. Jon on the other hand, becomes interested in keeping the camera. While fighting for the camera, Greg accidently snaps Jon’s picture. The photo then shows a long carpenter nail through Jon’s foot. Jon thinks that the camera is a joke and Greg asks if he can borrow it for a while.

 Jon then runs off to find his father; however, he steps on a carpenter nail as predicted in the photo. Jon then is rushed to the hospital.

Yikes. Harsh!

So since Greg hospitalized someone, he decided to –

Take it to school

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!?

 

the next day, Greg goes to school and is caught by Shari on the way. Greg tries to hide the camera from Shari unsuccessfully. They have an argument about Greg bringing the camera to school.

Wait…shari actually sees why this is an awful idea? YAY!

This results in Greg accidentally snapping a picture of Shari while they fight for the camera. The picture then develops and appears to be a negative, leading the two to believe that the camera is broken. Shari then grabs the camera-

Well there goes my respect for her-

 and takes a picture of Greg, which then develops into a picture of Greg appearing to look like an obese person.

…this better not  lead to what I think it is. Greg then goes to English class, excited to show Mr. Saur his camera as proof for his assignment. He is welcomed by Mr. Saur’s substitute, which makes him upset.

Well, I guess he’ll just give it to the sub, thus proving himself, and the sub will tell saur in his re-

Greg just sulks away

Fuck you, kid.

 

The next morning, Greg wakes up to find himself fatter in his pajamas. His mom disagrees, saying that his pajamas are always too tight for him. Greg finds out in school that Shari has lost weight. Over the following days, Shari loses more weight while Greg gains more.

So in short:

LOLHE’S FAT. GET IT. HE’S FAT. IT’S FUNNY LOL

At one point, he runs into shari. She is very skinny, and then…her skirt falls down.

 

THE FUCK?!

HER SKIRT FALLS DOWN?

 

At least they will be0\-

Calm about her skirt falling down.

 

…FUCK THIS BOOK

You cannot have a GIRL’s skirt fall down, thus showing her 12 year old panties, and make it seem normal?!

DOES NOT COMPUTE

Mr. Saur arrives the following day and Greg shows him the camera which he ignores. He then makes his final decision, which is to give Greg a failing mark. Greg’s parents insist that his weight gain is the result of some allergic reaction to something he ate.

Yeah, allergies make you look like the goodyear blimb. Shari and Greg, desperate for a solution, realize that if they make Greg’s photo negative, there might be a chance of returning to their normal bodies.

You may be asking: why can’t they tear it up like in the first one? Well, they discuss that. Greg thinks it only worked cuz shari vanished, and if they do it now, they may die or something.

There you go.

They rush to a photo shop where Greg’s brother works. They find him and plead with him to reverse their pictures. Greg offers him all of his allowance, which his brother accepts. Greg’s brother then reverses the pictures and the following day, Greg and Shari return to their normal bodies.

To quote troy: WHAT A CLIMAX

So the next day, Greg-

Brings…the camera to school..

 

Fuck you kid. This thing has made you fit, hurt a guy, killed a guy, hurt your friends, and has made everyone you know suffer, FUCKYOU

 

 

 

 

Twist Ending:

Mr. Saur takes the camera and insists on taking a picture of Greg with his entire class. He then snaps the photo.

Well thanks greg, you’re need for a kid doomed your entire class. Fuck you.

TV Episode:  

You may think that the writers once again took an awful book and made it good.

Nope.. the episode sucks too!

First, they replaced every actor with a shitty one. And of course they have a flashback with the other Darrin,

It’s just cheesy…In a bad way. The acting and effects are BAD, even by Goosebumps standards. Seriously, they don’t even TRY’

Fat Greg just looks like they stuffed a bunch of pillows up his shirt. And I swear they TRIED to make Skinny Shari as AWFUL as possible!  They just made her grey. Lame.

As for the changes…no bird. Great, I bet if they did a third one, the only character would be the actual camera.  Anyway, there is also let fat jokes…but plot wise, it is the same, Jon is never named,  infact, I don’t know if it was meant to be him. An adult shows up saying this is private property. Oh and Greg snaps his pic to distract him. Asshole!

No nail, he just falls through the floor. So yeah, this episode is just as bad as the book. Is there anything I like?

The who plays saur is a hammy delight. Oh and I love the ending.

Greg brings the thing to school, and saur takes a pic of just himself. His hair falls out, and every laughs  as we see the pic of him bald. Awesome.

The sad thing is, this had the same director as the wonderful Welcome to camp nightmare, Ron oliver. Wow.

Overall, this was a bad episode of an even worse book!

Notable Lines:  “Say cheese…and die!”

Useless Fact: this book isn’t very good

Final Thoughts:

Oh my god I want to shoot myself this one is so bad. The plot is full of holes, the characters are idiots, the writing is lame, and it’s just awful. I hate fat jokes and this is one long fat joke. I can’t say If it’s offensive, but it feels like it If they all go is LOLHE’SFATANDIT’SFUNNY in all seriousness. They paint it like it’s a horrible thing but they also make light of it. It’s written In a funny way but painted as serious. I get this is a funny book rather than a scary one…but a guy getting fat is now funny. It’s …just not. The first one was serious and that is why it worked. Oh and that skirt scene…ugh. This  book can go rot in hell.

Grade: D+

 

See ya!

 

 

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About Spongey444

I'm 20 and I'm a slightly below average man who can barely spell. I mostly spend my time watching TV and movies, hence why i ended doing a blog all about those things. I tend to have weird tastes, but I like think I'm just fair on things.
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