Hello, Spongey here
Welcome back to Goosebump-athon!
Egg Monsters From Mars
Cover: nice and gross. I dig it
Front Tagline: “They’re no yolk!”
Back Tagline: “Which came first, the monster or the egg?”
The very male Dana has an annoying little sister named Brandy, and a friend named Anne who doesn’t do much. Brandy is having her birthday coming up a week before Easter
So…this is the goosebumps easter special.
. She cons her parents into setting up an egg hunt for her birthday, but during the party, an egg fight ensues and the party becomes a disaster.
This is what happens when you give 9 year old girls raw eggs, dumbass.
During the fight, Dana finds a strange, large, pale green egg, which does not break when it is thrown by Dana’s best friend Anne, much to Dana’s amazement.
Dana is amazing, but he is distracted by the parents bitching about how bad the party went. Like I said, don’t give kids raw eggs. Seriously.
About a day after the egg disaster, the huge green egg hatches and out comes an “egg monster” that resembles a pile of rotten scrambled eggs with eyes. Ok, it does look a tiny bit like the cover, I’ll give it that.
Dana places the creature in a shoe box and bikes over to Anne’s house to show it to her, but Anne’s mother is disgusted by the thing and nearly washes it down the drain, but it is saved by Dana.
He later brings it to a science lab. Whoa whoa whoa…a Goosebumps character who takes the scary thing to the proper place, and doesn’t just freak out. WHAT.
The scientist there is name Dr. Gray. They talk, and Dana shows him the egg monster. Dr grey says he KNOWS the monster. He explains that the eggs came down from Mars in a shower that only hit the town. Dana’s egg was the last one.
“oh, you’re never leaving”
Grey says he is worried that Dana has been touching these things, and may get sick or die cuz of them. He wants to experiment on him.
. Gray locks both Dana and the egg creature in a room with frigid temperatures – and the room contains many more egg creatures
He won’t let Dana escape.
Eventually, Dana’s dad puts two and two together and figures Dana went to the lab…cuz he told Anne he’d go there.
He talks to Grey, and he lies and says Dana was never there! He hid Dana’s bike. Dana cries for help, and even bangs on the door. When Dad asks about the banging, Grey says it’s just the pipes. Dad then leaves.
Wow, a Goosebumps villain who is not a monster, but just a crazy human, And is still creepy and effectual. Nice.
Dana soon finds out the egg creatures mean no harm. He even communicates with using odd hand gestures. That night, the freezer gets really cold. So cold dana may freeze to death
the egg creatures merge together to form a blanket for Dana so he does not freeze to death. That’s sweet…in a creepy way.
The next morning, Grey walks in on this, and freaks out. Dana has disrupted the experiments. He tells Dana he will make the temp LOWER, to teach him a lesson. Damn, complete monster much?
But suddenly, the eggs attack him, to protect Dana. Awesome.
Dana runs off and finally makes it home. He drags his parents to the lab, only to see grey and the eggs missing. They don’t quite believe him, but…he was gone for like a day,. And HE says it’s due to this. I don’t know, that seems fairly believable. But still, things are fine, and Dana is glad he’s fine.
The next, he’s heading to his friend’s house
“I squatted on the lawn…and laid the biggest egg you ever saw!”
What the FUCK?
This isn’t a footnote in my review, it’s a footnote in the book two! It literally happens in the last SENTNECE of the book!
This is bullshit, you can’t have him randomly lay an egg! It makes no sense. Unless..
The egg blanket…they…
In a goosebumps book.
This ending is bullshit
TV Episode: None
Notable Lines: “I had goosebumps all over my skin”
Useless Fact: in a live facebook chat thing, Stine listed this a good un-scary book. Yeah, being captured by a crazy guy and freezing to death isn’t scary at all. He also listed Cuckoo Clock of doom as one. K, I’ll give him that one.
Troy Steele listed this as one of worst in the series. All he said was that he would have hated it as a kid, and he didn’t wanna change his entry on it. This is a time where I don’t get why it’s so bad. Cuz I liked it a lot. The idea is clever: the monster isn’t evil, a normal guy is. It worked in Shrunken Head, and it works here. Hell, he liked it when that book did it, why not this one? It’s a creepy idea, being trapped by a crazy man, I liked the writing in this, as it’s not as silly as most books. Yes, it needed fleshing out ,and the twist sucks, but the book itself is pretty good.