Hello, Spongey here
Welcome back to Goosebump-athon!
Bad Hare Day
If you think that pun was lame, just read on..
Cover: ugh, this cover. A giant rabbit with grossly oversized teeth? No thanks Tim
Front Tagline: “He’s no easter bunny!”
Back Tagline: “pick a scare. Any scare…”
Tim Swanson is an amateur twelve year old magician. He performs tricks from a magic kit for his classmates after school on a daily basis and he also manages to draw a crowd for these tricks. After his peers are amazed at how he can guess their card and separate metal rings, his ten year old sister Ginny comes by and mocks his magic, revealing the secrets to his tricks to the audience, and also karate chops him in the stomach.
Ginny is the rare annoying sibling that I almost root for, cuz she KARATE chops tim many times, while tim is an asshole. Oh, you’ll see why later.
After his magic show breaks up, Tim and his best friend Foz –
What the fuck kind of name is foz?
-decide to stop by the magic shop to look at the new tricks. The owner of the magic shop gives Tim and Foz two free tickets to see Tim’s idol, the magician Amaz-O, at a local nightclub the next night. Tim tries to convince his parents to let him go, but they for some reason object to their prepubescent son going to a night club at ten at night.
Yay for real parenting!
The day of the big magic show, Tim gives another magic show, this time at his house, where he displays a trick he constructed in the garage: a homemade trick-compartment table for making a rabbit disappear and reappear. He borrows Foz’s sister’s rabbit and the trick goes awry and the rabbit gets away but is then caught by Ginny, who karate chops a stream to trap the rabbit.
I don’t get it either.
Tim’s parents come home that night exhausted and go right to bed. Tim gets the idea to sneak out of the house and go to the nightclub anyways, which he does, but not before being caught by Ginny, who insists on going with him. The two talk their way into a nightclub unescorted, –
This place has the worst management ever
“oh look it’s two kids with no ids, and are clearly lying. Come right in!”
-and are seated in front of the stage. Amaz-O comes out beforehand and asks Tim to be his volunteer later in the show. Amaz-O then begins his show. His act consists of doves flying out of his hat, pulling a rabbit out of a hat, and many other tricks.
A maz-O calls for a volunteer and Tim goes up, is placed into a magic cabinet, and is delivered to what the magician calls the “5th dimension.” He falls thru a trapdoor and lands on a mattress in the nightclub’s basement. He hears Amaz-O leave the stage and end the show. Tim also finds the basement door locked and he breaks his way out of the room and finds Amaz-O’s dressing room.
He starts to enter but a voice inside tells him to “Beat it, punk!”. Because someone dared to yell at him when he went in someone’s room without permission, he steals his bag of tricks.
Wow, what an asshole.
. Tim and Ginny evade a cadre of security guards and bike home. Ginny insists on Tim sharing the suitcase with her and the two hide it in the attic, promising to not disturb it until Saturday, when they will have time to examine the contents more closely. Tim does not follow this simple plan and instead opens the magic case later that night, and discovers an amazing array of magic tricks. The suitcase has a sound effect that plays when you open it, a large exploding boom. Inside Tim finds a cup and ball trick, a bunch of mechanical glass snakes, a wand, a jacket, and other things.
Finally it’s Saturday, and Foz has come over to see the incredibly boring magic tricks Amaz-O’s kit contains.
Seriously, Stine. You could have put in like…a saw or something.
Tim attempts to perform some of the tricks, but they all go awry. First, instead of disappearing, red balls keep appearing under cups in the cup and ball trick, and keep appearing, until he just throws them all in the suitcase and shuts it quickly.
I’m so scared, I just shit my pants.
Tim then has doves fly out of his hat, but the doves won’t quit flying out of his hat, and the attic fills with doves. The kids quickly leave the attic, taking the kit with them. Tim reasons that maybe they should play with the kit outside, so if there are any more animals, they can just fly away.
This is a book that is so dull I cannot describe it in words.
Foz and Ginny are interested in not continuing the magic show. Somehow he convinces them to join him outside. Ginny roots around in the magic kit, finds a carrot, eats it, and turns into a rabbit.
Holy shit, something happened…90 pages in. bah
Tim and Foz can’t figure out how to turn Ginny back into a human, so they decide to return the kit to Amaz-O and get him to turn Ginny back into a human. They break into the nightclub and find Amaz-O’s lifeless body on the couch of his dressing room. Upon closer consideration, Amaz-O is actually a large puppet!
What the fuck
Do you mean to fucking tell me you drag us through 90 pages of boring shit, awful characters, and nothing happening at all, to tell us this guy is a puppet?!
The man who was on stage this whole time is a puppet. No one noticed.
Puppets and humans have noticeably different body structures! I don’t buy into your bullshit stine!
A voice in the room begins to berate the children. They discover that Amaz-O’s rabbit is the one speaking. He continues to insult them and then explains that he, the rabbit, is Amaz-O, and he was turned into a rabbit by a sorcerer. The rabbit and Tim have a conversation about the sorcerer’s name. his name is Frank. Hey, a funny joke!
The rabbit goes on to explain that he built the puppet to do his stage work while he was stuck a rabbit.
And no one fucking-
The rabbit tells Tim that his sister will change back to a human in less than an hour, and then makes Tim a very interesting offer. Tim agrees to be part of Amaz-O’s act.
…as the rabbit. Wah wah. Oh, and he’s HAPPY about it. Yes, you only have to deal with never seeing your family again
This episode is fucked up.
First, it’s filled with cartoon sound effects. At one point, the magic shop owner plays a prank, and when tim finds out, they play the wah wah music.
Speaking of tim, he and foz have taken acting lessons from Tommy Wiseau.
Also, no karate, but ginny Is still there. Also the episode cuts of the first half and just cuts to him at the show with ginny. Oh, and Amazo’s voice is MUCH more of an asshole, as he calls tim stupid and much worse words. So tim is more justified.
But this is where the episode…changes.
Tim takes the bad, and Ginny takes out this curtain thing and …then it makes her vanishes, with a rabbit In her place. No, she doesn’t turn into one. It makes one appear.
The rabbit talks and is an amazing deadpean snarker and makes the entire episode. He is amaz-o’s rabbit and amaz-o is evil and turned him into a rabbit. He wants tim to help turn him human.
Stuff happens, and tim ends up at amazo’s place again. Amaz-o reveals he is nice, and the rabbit was an evil wizard he turned him. Too late , tim made him human already.
He captures amazo- and asks tim to be in his show.
Cut to both of them as Rabbits
“don’t worry, I’ll get us out of this”
“what ,and give up show bisuniss?”
They play a rimshot.
Oh, and Colin whatshisface from Who’s line is it anyway makes a cameo. Dead serious.
Anyway…a weird episode, but a fun one. Plus…it has an epic remix of the theme song in the credits
Notable Lines: none
Useless Fact: Amaz-o makes a cameo in Return to Horrorland. Cuz why not. Oh, and Gina’s actor in the ep played pretty much the same role in the episode “click’. Oh, and the brother in that ep is Skipper from Attack of the muant to boot!
Yeah, this one is awful. But the thing is..i can’t sell it. It sounds like a simple dumb story, but it’s more than that. Nothing happens. Nothing. And when something happens, it is dumb. I said Snowman was dull, and in hindsight it is a much worse book, but this one pushes the limit and how much can build up a story. The characters are annoying or bland, there are plot holes everywhere, tim is an asshole, and it’s just plain horribly written. Sure, the ending is quite funny but it fails it being anything except dumb