Hello, Spongey here
Welcome back to Goosebump-athon!
WARNING: Reader Bee-ware, you’re in for some puns
Why I’m Afraid of Bees
Cover: This one is weird. It’s well done, but it looks a bit jarring. Eh, it’s okay I guess
Front Tagline: “He’s no ordinary human bee-ing”. Thanks for making the pun for me!
Back Tagline: “Right bright…wrong body”
Gary’s life sucks. I say stuff like this, but I really mean it this time. Let’s go through the order of events of the first act of the book
Gary has a middle aged neighbor….who is a beekeeper. He always bugs gary for no reason, and since he’s like 40, it’s kind of weird.
He’s deathly afraid of bees
His sister also mocks him,…his LITTLE sister. His cat claws him up a lot too, and his parents…well they’re okay, for goosebumps parents.
He heads out on his bike and spies two cute girls, so he tries to impress them…and crashes into a pole and ends up trashing his bike.
Oh and yes, we do have bullies who pick on him. He is also shitty at sports, but that’s a given. So yeah…his life is one of the worst in Goosebumps history.
So one day, he’s playing an online game. (1994 tech, gotta love it). He sucks at that too. He sees an ad advertising “Person 2 person vacations”, a company which can somehow switch him with someone else for a day. he finds it interesting, so the next day he heads there to see what the deal
He meets the sole worker at this place, Miss Karmen. She explains that it’s a body switching type deal, as you can “pic a boy…or girl” to switch places with.
Gary isn’t 100 percent sure about this , so he tells Karmen to find a match for him in the meantime.
So yeah, a place like this is, which amazing tech to switch bodies, is able to run without government funding, and can place ads online, and has yet to be found out by an official.
Makes sense to me.
Gary walks home and runs into the bullies who beat him hard again. That night he feels his sores.
“That’s it, I’m doing it. And nobody’s going to stop me. I’m calling them. I want them to put me in somebody’s body..as soon as they can”
This guy is the male carlybeth..
He calls Karmen the next day and she tells him she found someone who wants to switch with gary: a strong dude named Dirk, who wants gary to his summer school stuff for him.
So She heads to Gary’s house with her body switching tech…so he doesn’t need parent permission? You’re just doing this without telling anyone?
I’m pretty sure there like…40 laws against that.
Anyway, he puts him in the body switching…booth thing, and things begin. The door is open, so bees fly open. She tells gary to just ignore them, even though they’re flying in the booth
Hasn’t this chick seen the fly?
But yeah, I’m pretty sure bees around your work is a bad thing. The switch happens, but when Gary wakes up, he’s in a bee’s body.
So Stine hasn’t torturted Gary enough , so now he’s a bee
Karmen lives without even confirming the switch worked. She gets in the car. Gary flies out to see what’s going on, but he can’t fly well and he falls on the ground
He looks to see that the car is backing up…on him. Yep, he’s in danger of being run over. Then…she stop to put on her seatbelt.
So if she hadn’t been aware of laws, gary would have bee-n, dead.
You know-for kids!
So what happened to Gary’s body? Well Body!Gary is up and well, and is talking to Gary’s dad outside, who just got home, and almost swats Bee!Gary with a newspaper.
I’ll just give it away and says it’s Dirk in gary’s body.
After avoiding that stupid cat, he finds himself in his beekeeper neighbor’s yard…where he is capture, and taken to his hive.
Gary thinks about the bad position he’s in, here in the beekeeper’s hand. He sees that he has no gloves (He’s a bigshot douche) and remembers that when bees sting people, they die.
Gary thinks that he should sting him and get things over with now..
Jesus Christ Stine, give him a fucking BREAK! I mean…seriously!
“Sure things seem terrible now, but there’s still hope”
For a funny type of book , this is really depressing.
After about 20 pages of beehive goodness, he escapes and heads back to his house to alert Dirk!Gary.
Sadly, Dirk is taking a nap. But Gary sees his computer, and plans to type a message. Yeah, bees are heavy enough to type now.
He types a message, and It ends up like this
“I AM NOT BEE. I AM GARY. HELO ME.”
Typos, even bees make them’
Dirk gets up, but turns off the comp without seeing the message. Gary follows Dirk as he drags his body to the park, where Bee!Gary finds out Dirk is giving skateboard lessons to people and using his overall coolness to impress people. So he’s using gary’s body to make people like him more now that he’s in a nerd’s body. Interesting.
Bee!Gary heads to Karmen’s office to figure this shit out. He gets in through a mailslot and spies the glass she sits beehind. She has a mic in front of it, and he uses it to talk to her.
Bees can talk now? Sure, why not.
Gary tells her how shitty his day has been, and she express major sympathy. The only problem? Dirk wants to keep Gary’s body. It’s not fully explained why, but my reason up above makes sense. So if he won’t give up his body, karmen can’t do anything.
So there’s no rule against KEEPING a body you switch this? There isn’t some kind of code? You can’t just…switch them back normally since you didn’t need dirk in a booth before?
Forget Dirk, this chick is the asshole!
WMG: She’s evil and planned this from the start
It makes sense, shut up.
Oh, and a random note: This book takes place on a Friday. That’s today. Freaky…
Gary heads to the real dirk’s house, but finds out the bee is in his body, and they’re both having the same luck. So he just heads back to Dirk!Gary
He buzzes in his ear, and dirk tells him to shut up. Yes, he can understand gary.
“I think some bee cell got mixed in with my human ones’
…that’s not even worth a “Don’t you know anything about science” joke
Dirk refuses to give gary his body back, as he’s having fun in it. Gary sits in the backyard, thinking of what to do. Suddenly, bees from the hive show up to drag him back. Gary finds himself followed by a SWARM of bees. He gets an idea
He takes the bees to dirk to freak him out a little, and it works. He is freaked. But he still won’t give up the body.
Gary, out of anger, stings him.
“..I stung someone, and now I’m gonna die!”
So he dies.
Just kidding, that’s not the end.
He wakes up back in his own body. He doesn’t know how it happened, and he hopes to find answers, but for now he’s happy to be back in his body.
Readers have wondered why this happened, and I have my own guess:
The death shocked everyone back to their own bodies. As for the bees body…well you’ll see.
Gary has learned to appreciate who he is, sees his life as not that bad. And thanks to Dirk, he has jock powers, bullies respect him, and girls find him okay now.
So it’s a happy ending after all!
Gary is in the backyard again. He sniffs a flower…and sucks the pollen out of it. End. Yep, he has bee powers. I think the bee had no body to go back to, so they shared it. A fitting, decent end
TV Episode: none.
Notable Lines: “I ran into my three most unfavorite people in the world”
Useless Fact: none
Spongey’s Bee Pun Theater:
This whole experience has left Gary Beedazzled.
Gary’s favorite musician is Sting.
This book hasn’t left reviewers buzzing with praise
Is this book dumb? Maybee
Why did gary join the army? He wanted to bee all that he could bee
Gary’s favorite cartoon character is Buzz lightyear
Are these bee puns awful? They’re so bad, they sting!
This one was pretty decent. Yes, it has tons of plot holes. But if you ignore those and make fun of it, it’s good. Gary is an extremy body, you feel for the main character, and the story is okay, and exciting,. It’s an underrated entry in the series, and it’s pretty fun despite its flaws. Seriously…suicide!
…no pun intended