Hello, Spongey here
I have no special intro here
Today is Friday the 13th. Let’s review one of the movies!
*spins the wheel of Friday the 13th*
And…it’s part 8!
Let’s review it!
This is Friday the 13th part 8: Jason takes Manhattan.
The movie opens in New York, and as credits role we find out something interesting…
Oh my, her again, in her feature film debut! What a complete coincidence I didn’t plan at all!
Also, for some reason kane hodder (the actor playing Jason in this) is credited last…weird. After some very 80’s music set to new York scenes, we cut to good ol’ crystal lake! There’s a big ass boat in the lake, and two teens are on it. Of course, they start to make love. Yes, two teens making out in a slasher film
Well, I have no idea what could possibly happen!
The dude anchor’s the boat, and casually mentions the murders that happened at the lake. That’s what you talk about before making love! Of course she gets scared, but he assures her he’s dead. But he continues to tell the story of Jason anyway, because…that’s what you do. The anchor hits an underwater power line cable, causing a short circuit at the bottom of Crystal Lake, which brings Jason back to life.
…I don’t know.
The couple hears the sound of electricity
“I’ll go check it out”
Well he’s dead.
So after a fake out, Jason gets on the boat, and the dude just so happens to own a hockey mask for Jason to put on. That certainly was convenient. So anyway, Jason intrudes on the couple, and kills the dude with a harpoon. Badass.
. the chick tries to hide, but Jason just kills her twice as hard. Take that, bitch.
The next morning, the SS Lazarus, containing the senior class of Lakeview High, is bound for nearby New York City for the school’s graduation. This trap is chaperoned by those two people, and this one chick brought her neice and the dude is like “she’s not ready blah blah”. Whatever, when’s Jason gonna kill her?
The ship’s captain is giving some duties to his son and you don’t really care do you? Good, neither do i. I’ll simplify the bull shit for ya. Also, Jason sneaks on board the ship. Good, they’ll die within the hour.
So we meet our next victim: a wannabe rock star chick. She goes to the top of the ship and starts rocking out. But before she can even have 5 minutes of screen time, Jason kills her with her own guitar. Awesome
After that, see this boxer dude, who is being oogled by-
“he is so good looking”
…THAT BOXING BASTARD IS GOING DOWN
So hu and this chick are hanging out. The other chick is…doing coke. Hu refuses. You go, girl! The girls almost get caught by the chaperone dude, but hu lies their way out of it with her goody two shoes ness. Hell yea!
…sorry, fanboy. Comes with the territory.
That nice chick, rene, was the one who tipped the dude off that the chicks were doing drugs, so the blonde bitch cooks up some revenge. But before that, we cut to a dude in a sauna. Of course, Jason comes in. you can guess what happens here.
Jason kills him with one the hot rocks. Saw it coming, but still awesome!
The bitch pushes rene into the water for fun and she has a good laugh over, she tells hu to join her more bitch stuff, Kelly’s like “nah, I’ll pass”. Again, you go, girl.
Anyway, so later on the teacher dude talks to the bitch to ask for some project she needed to turn in and…she attempts to seduce him. …ew. She’s hot and all…but still, ew.
The dude’s reaction is just priceless. He’s like “lolwut” the entire time. He of course rejects her…cuz he’s smart, but as it turns out, the bitch got some geeky dude to record part of the love making, and now she has blackmail.
This works and the dude backs off. So a bit later, she takes a shower. Yea. In any horror movie the last thing you do is take a shower. I love this movie
She gets out of the shower, and Jason shows up for the kill. Jason breaks a mirror, and stabs her with one of the shards. Good riddance, bitch!
So of course the weather starts getting rough, and the ship is tossed. You all know what this is gonna lead to!
They are all on a boat, cuz of a lame plot
With a chaperone
And Kelly hu
The big bitch
And some dog
Some Dumb victims
And epic cliché kill-ings!
Here on jason’s boat!
Jason heads up the captains place, and while he is turned around, Jason just puts his knife in front of his neck, makes a vauge slashing motion without touching him,…and he falls over.
JASON. So badass he kills you without touching you.
The captains son stumbles upon the body, and calls the coast guard about the shit that’s going on. But before he can, Jason takes out the signal. Wah wah.
Also, there’s this random creepy dude. Earlier he said “he’s back and you’re all gonna die”. Now he’s pretty much saying the same thing. Every horror movie needs a guy who somehow knows what’s going even though there’s no reason given for why he knows!
The chaperone dude doesn’t believe Jason the zombie so there, so he thinks the creepy dude is the killer. Anyway, enough of that! We cut back to Kelly as..
She runs into jason. She actually tries to run away, like a smart girl. But she ends up cornered. She keeps looking for a way to escape, proving she is smarter than anyone in the movie./
However, Jason strangles her dead
OH MY GOD. HE KILLED KELLY
. the camera dude from earlier stumbles upon the rocker chick and Jason shows up throws him into a control panel, electrocuting him to death. Awesome.
After another death, this black dude ends up face to face with Jason…but Jason just throws him off the boat,. I swear, half the kills in this movie have Jason not caring at all. Jason swats off crap loads of kids without even flinching. So awesome/
So it turns out that control panel thing caused a fire, burning the fuel tanks, and blowing a hole in the ship’s hull. They run into the creepy guy…but he tumbles over, and see he has an ax in his back. Jason killed him. He’s worse at this than Willie.
The gang escapes in a life boat, and behold, the black guy turns out to be alive
“I ain’t getting my black ass killed in THIS horror flick!”
..okay, that quote was mine.
So they end up in new York., oh hey, it’s actually in this movie! It only took…like an hour. But of course, Jason is on their tail…
The group is almost immediately mugged by two gang-bangers who take Rennie and chase off Toby(the boyfriend dude). We have a bit with the thugs, and they are about to rape her when…they are killed by Jason
Jason just SAVED a chick
WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH JASON]
So Jason walks off and runs into the black guy again. Man, these guys just really hate each other, don’t they? They end up on a rooftop
The black guy starts to punch Jason with his bare fists. To quote james rolfe “after 8 movies, Jason has gone through everything. When a guy tries to take him out with his fists, you know it’s not gonna end well”
Jason punches his head off
That’s what you get for almost kind stealing my woman…sort of…not really.
So the gang finds themselves, and they bump into the police, who they hitch a ride with. And what do they see in the car? The black guy’s head. Then Jason shows up and kills the cop. Awesome.
After an awesome car rush and explosion…we have a flashback. Rennie has a flashback to an event from her early childhood where she was learning how to swim in Crystal Lake and was almost killed by a young drowned Jason
Oh, and she was with that chaperone dude, and he told her the Jason story…though now he sees to not believe it…I guess.
Oh, and the dude…pushed her into the water kind of jokingly…what an ASS.
Rennie has the same realization as I did and calls him out. They stop off leaving the dude alone, Jason shows up and after a chase, he dumps the asshole in a barrel of sewage, which kills him.
So during a bit with the chick and the boyfriend , we find out her parents were killed in a car crash when she was young leaving her in the care of that dude. The two have a little romantic moment. Of course right as I’m about to complain Jason shows up and gives chase.
The chase goes on through malls, subways, and so forth. The boyfriend tackles Jason and Jason is electrocuted by the ground wires, killing him
Oh, who am I kidding? HE’S ALIVE! The teens leave the subway, showing us the only scene actually SHOT in new York. Jason follows suit.
Oh, and we also get an amazing moment:
A bunch of kids are listening to music on a big boom box. Jason walks by, and kicks it. The kids get pissed. Jason turns around, shows them his real face. They back off.
BEST. SCENE IN. THE ENTIRE. MOVIE.
So the teens run into a diner
“there’s a maniac trying to kill us!”
“welcome to new York”
Jason barges in and a chef try to stops him, but fails. The chef is played by the guy who would later play Jason in “Freddy Vs Jason”. Cool, I guess.
They run onto the sewers of Manhattan, where Jason follows. Quick question…why does Jason walk everywhere? Wouldn’t it be easier to run? Whatever
All seems lost, but rennie grabs a bucket of toxic waste, and throws it on Jason. He starts to melt…and we see his face.
…that’s the most insanely awesome thing I’ve ever seen./
His entire body melts, and just like that, he’s down for the count. Eh, I’ve seen worse ways to kill Jason…
They run off, kiss, and the film ends. Eh, rushed ending, but I was entertained.
As you can tell, I enjoyed the hell out of this. The kills were awesome, it had cool/funny moments, and Kelly hu was nice. Everyone gets their start in horror films.
I have not seen any other Friday films, but I like this one. It’s one those so bad it’s good movies. Very stupid, but very funny. Any cheesy horror fan will dig this one. Sure, they wasted a good premise. Yes, only 20 minutes of it take place in new York. But I still like it!
I should check out the other Friday films. Maybe I will. They seem cool…and fun! I’ve recently gotten into stupid horror films, so this quenched my thirst.
Check out it out if you’re a fan. That’s all I have to say
Grade: B+ (On a So Bad it’s good level)
Happy Friday the 13th!