Hello, Spongey here. Welcome back to So Bad It’s Horrible Month!
Okay, I know I just did one last night, but I HAVE to do this one! I just found something PERFECT for today!
Okay, you all know of Video Brinquedo? That Brazilian company that makes rip offs of pixar and dream works films? Well, they did a rip off of Cars. It sucked as much as you think it would. But…it got sequels! Tons of them!
Why? No idea.
So while looking for a VB movie to do, I found this one, which is not only a shit sequel…but a shitty EASTER SPECIAL!
Yes, this exists.
Let’s do this.
This, is The Little Cars 5
Okay, none of the Little Cars sequels are full movies. just a bunch of shorts. Well, I’ll only be tackling the first short, which is only about 15 minutes long.
I’d kill myself if I had to do all of them
So let’s look at The Easter Car
So we see our Car characters, and I’ll just name them what they really are: Mater rip off, Lighting Rip off, and sally rip off.
“What are you guys talking about?”
“Greaster is the holiday celebrating the invention of grease!”
The short is called the EASTER car! But it’s called GREASTER?! Greaster…Are they freaking Kidding me…Greaster…the Day they Celebrate the Creation of Grease…
Oh Yeah of course, I mean the creation of Grease is much more important than the Death Of Jesus Christ.
Whatever, let’s move on. So mater rip off is excited due the greaster car coming-
I’m gonna need a minute…
Okay I’m good.
So Lightning rip off goes to some press thing announcing this sponsor for some race. It turns out to be this lubricant company…don’t think too much about that, and we see the dude with the sponser-
…who has a poorly animated mustache.
How does that even work? CARS CAN’T GROW HAIR!
So the face turns out to be lightning rip off, of course. And this sponsor is doing a big Greaster thing, which doesn’t please lightning rip off.
“There’s no such thing as the Greaster car!”
And…everyone gets super pissed for some reason. Wut
The sponsor dude is doing that greaster thing, and they want to make big bucks off kids who think the greaster car is real.
So lightning rip off saying he doesn’t believe in the greaster car didn’t please sponsor guy. I know all these characters have names…but do any of you care?
So his rip off friends chew him for this. Yes, simply saying “meh, I don’t believe” means you are an asshole who hates kids. Logic!
“I just think it’s a silly thing made to sell grease”
Yeah! I side with this guy…..wait..A likeable Brixar character? WHOA!
…Wait, we’re supposed to hate him.
BOOO YOU SUCK FOR SOME REASON.
So now Lightning rip off must make his kid fans like him again, and now he must become the Greaster car. Oh joy. So he turns into the greaster car (I’ll spare you image) and heads out to give eggs to all the kids.
So he things go well, but since he’s an idiot he loses the eggs when they fall in a lake. What good is a lake in a car universe anyway? We see no boats in this world, unlike the movie this is ripping off!
So he turns around…and runs into the REAL Greaster car.
OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT THING?! THOSE EYES…THEY’RE STARING RIGHT INTO MY SOUL!
Is this the Greaster car or the dang DEVIL?!
The car gives him bullshit speech about believing in dreams or some crap,.
“Well I have to move on. I have a lot of little cars out there waiting for those eggs”
Title drop alert!
And yes, there is a black void during that entire night scene. Background? What the hell is that?
So he wakes up to see his rip off friends thanking for giving the eggs. He looks to see that the lake is gone!
DUN DUN DUN! …Oh who gives a crap?!
“I don’t understand”
So I guess this whole “episode” was all a dream… Well no, it wasn’t
It was a nightmare! Yes, this where it ends.
It’s only 14 minutes long after all. Thank god!
This is the best thing I’ve seen from Brixar…Which is like saying the crap I just took was less gross than the one I took last night.
I just say that because it’s just short and stupid.
The animation is awful, the characters are bland and the logic is stupid. Also, they make lightning rip off look like an asshole, even though everything he says makes perfect sense! They try to pull this shit lesson on you, but it doesn’t work.
It’s just stupid and weird.
Sorry for a lackluster blog, but hey, I only did this since it’s Easter.
So have a happy Easter!
But you know, I’m glad I got something short and painless this time. I just need more short stuff, and I’ll be good!
Give me my next horrible film , please!