Family Guy-A Fistful of Meg

Hello, Spongey here.

Before I move and then make my epic return, I figured I might as well fit in another TV review. Sadly, it’s of a Family Guy episode.

The worst Family Guy episode I’ve seen thus far.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. The last time I talked about Family Guy, they killed off Brian in a cheap way, then brought him back after one episode without him. Yeah.

I think I said my stance on Family Guy back there, but I’ll say it again. There was a time when I was willing to defend it and Mr Macfarlane (See R.A.Q. And Ted review) but that time is long gone. Well, the first part anyway. I’ll still say you shouldn’t act like he’s Satan or something.

Much like any show that lasts for too long, it used to be good, but now it’s crap. And unlike Spongebob where you’ll get at least a few good ones for every turd, you’ll lucky to get a watchable one every once in awhile. I like a few Modern FG episodes (Back to the pilot, And then where were fewer, the big bang theory), they can’t make up for crap like this.

I obviously still have respect for the people who work on it, but I still say it kind of sucks now. I knew I was gonna review some episodes back when I did Life of Brian, and this was at the top of my list, based on the AV Club Review.

Then I watched it. Yeah, I’m reviewing this thing.

This episode is in Season 12, which may very well be the worst Season of the series. I mean, not only did it have Life of Brian/Christmas Guy, but it also has Herpie the love sore, where Brian gives Stewie herpes, Brian’s a bad Father, which lives up to it’s name, and of course, Fresh Heir, in which Peter tries to marry to his son.

That actually happened.

I’ve heard “Meg Stinks” is good but the stuff I’ve seen so far is….not. And speaking of Meg, she’s the star of this stinker, so let’s talk about her. I like a good butt monkey, but there’s a difference between a Butt Monkey and Meg. If you think Squidward Torture is bad, just check out Meg abuse.

Unlike Squid, who has an excuse, being a grumpy guy. Meg is very normal. Yet for some reason, everyone treats her like treat. It may have been okay at first, but now it’s awful. This episode would be the apex of all that, if it wasn’t for Seahorse Seashell Party, where they say she NEEDS to be abused for the family to function.

But this episode is pretty bad too, for reasons that will be clear when I get into. I’m sorry for stalling, but I don’t wanna watch this thing again. But , I must. Let’s see how FG topped Fresh Heir for me.

This, is A Fistful of Meg

Writers: Dominic Bianchi and Joe Vaux

(You know you’re show is boned when the theme song is the only part you’re happy to see)

After our first cutaway, the episode starts with Brian and Peter. Peter talks to Brian about The Three Little Pigs being gay while he gets naked. Lovely. After another cutaway, we abruptly cut to Meg at school.

She opens her locker to see…a baby.

“Mama”

“What are you doing out of your box?”

Okay.

There’s another cutaway and we find out there’s a new kid at school who is a big bully.

“I heard he knifed a kid on the playground, then beat up the knife”

…Okay, that was funny.

After a joke with said bully that ends weirdly, we cut back to the house for our subplot. Peter makes Brian see him naked. That’s it. That’s the subplot. LAME!

(Also, another cutaway happens)

Back at school, Meg bumps into the bully, and he gets pissed.

“What’s your name?”

CHRIS: Meg Griffin!

I hate you.

Meg goes home and after more Naked Peter shit, we cut to the next day as we find out the whole school is promoting Meg’s fight.

“All wagers for Meg Griffin’s slaughter must be on my desk by thursday. Also, Zack Morris, if you could stop freezing time to talk to the camera, the day would go a lot faster”

Okay, the 2nd part was funny, but what the fuck?! This is what I’m talking about. It’s one thing for her family to hate her, but litterly the whole world wants her dead. It’s not funny, it’s just cruel!

After a cutaway, Meg tells Lois she wants to move.

“Just because a facebok page has over 2,000 likes, doesn’t mean you have to kill yourself”

Yes, there’s a Facebook capaign to get her to kill herself. That was first mentioned in any episode where she kind of tries to get Chris raped.

That was Meg’s Little Yellow Book. Now I can’t like her. FUCK YOU ALL.

That goes nowhere, and after another cutaway., Meg comes out with a sex tape so she can get expelled. It only gets 1 view. CUZ MEG IS UGLY GET IT.

There’s another cutaway (GODDAMIT IT STOP IT WITH THE FUCKING CUTAWAYS), and Meg pays some dudes to beat up Mike. It goes about aas well as you’d expect. Meaning, Mike kills them.

….That’s….dark. Shouldn’t be expelled for that shit?

There’s a cutaway involving Meg’s funeral, and she talks to her friends that only exist when the plot calls for it.

“We decided maybe it’s best if you don’t talk to us anymore”

“We could be targeted by association”

Of course they ditch her. We can’t let Meg be happy for one second!

Thankfully, Meg may have found help in the form of…Quagmire.

“This is may base of operation”

It’s funny cuz he’s a pedophile and a rapist.

He tells her he’s gonna help her fight Mike. Cuz he’s the first person who could help out in a fight. Later on, he explains why he wants to help her.

As a kid, he was beat up by a girl for drinking RC Cola. Don’t ask.

“You know what else RC stands for? Chick rule!”

“She was dyslexic”

….

“That was the beginning of a long and abusive relationship. To this day I can’t have sex with a woman against her will without thinking of rape”

….Quagmire is the way he is due to an abusive relationship ….There’s so much I can say but so little time. For one, tou just made “Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q”., more awkward than it already was. Also, you played abuse relationship straight there but play it for laughs here. Hypocrisy, thy name is Family Guy.

So Quagmire is gonna help Meg, and after another cutaway, we continue the Naked Peter stuff. He keeps trying to creep Brian out with his body. It’s not funny.

STEWIE: He won’t stop until he’s stopped.

Genius Logic.

Stewie suggests Brian go nude to get revenge. By that I mean he must shave off his fur. …Another cutaway gets my mind off that image. Back in the main plot, Quagmire comes up with an idea that will help Meg.

“Your weird body can be a dangerous weapon if used properly”

And now we’re at the part that pisses me off…kind of, that’s later but it starts here. It’s one thing for her to be picked on by her own family for no reason. It’s one thing for the school to want her dead.

But it’s another for their hate to be VALIDATED like that. They are flat out saying Meg IS the grossest thing ever. And spoilers, her method works. Not only are they abusing a (mostly) innocent character, but they are pretty much giving her tormentors are REASON to pick on her.

I could take the abuse, but I’m not okay with her “awful-ness” being true. It’s cruel, it’s mean, it’s mean spirited, and most of all, IT’S NOT FUNNY!

It may not seem like a big deal now, but my god, it gets worse later.

Back at the Griffin house, Peter tries to scare Brian again only to get a faceful of fur less Brian. It’s just as awful as it sounds. Seriously, it’s incredibly hard to look at it. There is a point but it’s way more disturbing than funny.

It gets worse when Chris sees Brian and starts tearing at his face, giving us more bloody awful visuals. Peter agrees to stop being nude. Well, that useless plot over but we’re done done with the awful-ness yet.

Now, it’s time for the big fight. It starts out badly, with good ol’ Meg abuse. Then…

‘Remember what I taught you. Use the gross”

She does. She kisses him, flings weird green shit at him, and takes off her shirt. This has an Arc of the Covenant effect and his entire body melts. It’s way grosser than whatever her body looks like.

You know, I should be happy that Meg actually stopped one of her abusers, and actually won, but I’m not. Because they had to derail her character and make my eyes burn to do this.

…Then she tells us that she died a year later and everyone thought it was gross. ….Wow, the one small bit I could praise is flushed down the toilet. Lovely.

To close us out, we get more furless Brian as Stewie dresses him up as him to make him easier to look at.

CHRIS: Hi Stewie and…STEWIE?!

“This is next weeks story. Get there!”

Not after this shit. At least it’s over.

…Huh, that was shorter than I remember. At least it wasn’t as drawn out as Fresh Heir or even Life of Brian. Guess that’s one good thing I can say about it.

Final Thoughts:

Admittedly, Fresh Heir may be worse, but for some reason, I hated this one more. Yes, it’s not as horrifying as other episodes, and it has some amusing moments, but I hate it on principal alone.

The B Plot was just pointless and weak, and it ends with some truly awful visuals. But at least that one was just dumb which is a step up from the truly terrible main plot. Not only do we get jokes about abuse, and some of the worst Meg abuse in awhile, but they make the awful choice of having her win due to her gross-ness.

It’s cool to see Meg win, but it’s not due to any positive qualities she has. It’s because she sucks. It’s one thing to turn a weakness into a strengths, but this is another thing all together. It’s almost making her abuse JUSTIFIED. And yes, SSP did that too but at least Meg herself escaped the mess unscathed for the most part.

This episode however, makes her gross-ness 100 percent true. Other episodes, but not as bad as this one. And top it off, it ends with more cruelty, just in case we thought they would let Meg off easy.

It’s not as offensive as Not All Dogs to Heaven. It’s not as equally offensive/confusing as Family Gay. It’s not as tasteless and uncomfortable as Screams of Silence, but due to making an overly abused character just as bad as people say she is, this is my most hated Family Guy episode.

Like I said, there are worse, but this just pushed my buttons more. I’m sure I’ll find worse episodes, in this Season alone, but for now, this is the bottom of the barrel.

Before I go, I must say this. Seth appears in the Phineas and Ferb episode Nerds of a Feather, and his character chastises Doof for lazy writing.

LOOK WHOSE TALKING

Grade: D

Yikes, now I actually can’t wait for Fairly Odd Summer to air. But whatever, at least it wasn’t Ren Seeks Help. NO I WON’T REVIEW THAT DON’T ASK.

….See ya.

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Elseworlds Month: Critiquing the Critics

(I didn’t have time to do another, so here’s the finale! I’ve reviewed mostly bad stuff, but now I review….well, you’ll see.

Elseworlds Month

Universe 321: Critiquing the Critics

Greetings my Lovelies, and Welcome to another episode of Critiquing the Critics. Today’s Subject: Spongey444.

That’s right kiddies, for the only time ever, I shall be reviewing a blog. Why? Because I’m too lazy to review anyone else. I mean Busy! Yeah….that’s it.

Spongey444, mainly reviews movies but he also reviews TV Episodes, and books. We’ll be focusing on his movie reviews, but the other reviews follow the same format. Now, at first he seems like a clone….of the 443 other Spongey’s. And obviously he is, but his format is similar to that of the Nostalgia Critic’s. ‘

And there are plenty of times he makes jokes similar to him, and stuff like that. However, he does try to be a bit different. For one, he does plenty of positive reviews along with Negative reviews. That means he isn’t angry ALL the time.

And even in the negative reviews, he’s a bit nicer than most people would be. This would be where I move on to the Critiquing section of the Reviewer triforce, but I want to knock out Technicals first. He’s a blog reviewer, so I don’t have to cover this part!

…Well…the blog looks okay. There, we’re done.

Now let’s start with Critiquing. He’s a mixed bag, in both the positive and negative reviews. In his negative reviews, he can do a decent job at explaining why the movie is really bad, or just weak.

He’ll break down every aspect, mostly the characters and story, and explain the film doesn’t work. His reviews of Bratz, Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar movie, and The 41 Year Old Virgin who knocked up Sarah Marshall and felt Superbad about it showcase this very well.

On the other hand, he does have the tendency to overexragte things a bit just to make a point. The NC does this too but it’s usually for the sake of humor but he doesn’t really have the comedy skills to back it up. It’s not a huge problem now, but for awhile it kind of was an issue.

Also, there will sometimes be sections where he has nothing to say and he will just be recapping the plot. Some reviews don’t have this problem but some do. He lampshades this sometimes, and as long as he knows his problem, he doesn’t have to fix them. Hey, that’s how I work, too!

Thankfully, he’s mostly fine. The biggest issue will be that he just picks movies that don’t him materiel, so it isn’t his fault all the time. That bring us to his positive reviews. For some reason, they are his best when he’s at his best. He does a very good job explaining the film worked for him, and he will go in great detail to do so. He also points out any issues he has with the film, even if it’s one of the best movies he’s ever seen. His reviews of The Spongebob Movie, Ted,, and 16 Wishes showcase this very well.

Though sometimes it seems he’s grasping at straws for problems or it seems like he’s doing it just because he feels like he has. Both most of the time, these reviews are very good. But sometimes, his positive reviews can be kind of….boring. His review of Hotel Transylvania, for example, is a bit dry at point. It feels like he’s reviewing just because he wants and not because it has any good materiel. It’s an okay review, and he makes good points sometimes but it’s example of his weakest work.

His reviews can be a bit mixed, depending on the subject. Sometimes they can be forced or boring, and other times they are better than you think they would be. Though at least he has few good points per review to make them worth reading, at least. Arrow goes up because he’s okay.

Now for the Humor. This is his weakest area, as he’s not quite as focused on humor as other reviewers. Usually he just insert whatever quip he can think of. Sometimes they are amusing, and other times they aren’t. I’ve never groaned at his jokes, but he’s not exactly hilarious.

Thankfully, this isn’t a big problem as the text format makes the humor easier to swallow. And hey, he’s still funnier than me. There, I think I’ve filled up my Self Depreciation qouta for this review.

Little Arrow goes up cuz why not?

Triforce

Overall, Spongey444 is decent enough. While he can often be dull, he can also be somewhat insightful and smart, even if he doesn’t think so. I actually think his Genereal reviews are better, as his reviews of Girl Vs Monster, The Poof Point, and Cadet Kelly showcased all the strengths I’ve mentioned, but none of the weaknesses. He’s good at saying why he likes something, or why he’s mixed on it.

I’m not saying he should do only those, as his normal reviews work fine, but those end up being the best of his works. His book and TV reviews are also better sometimes, as the works of R.L. Stine give him lots of materiel, for Critiquing and humor. But ah well.

Now for the rating. I’m not sure what to give him. Giving him a 3 would be weird given his weakness and format. At his best, he’s a 3 Star reviewer. He does a good job explaning why something is good or bad, and he’s more fair than most reviewers. Even if that means he likes Disney Channel movies. Wait, what?

At his worst, he’s a 2,5 Star Reviewer. Good enough but a bit lacking in some areas. I’ll just go with that because I’m lazy. I’d say check him out if you still like the play by play format, or just like what I’ve been saying here.

So yeah, he’s okay. ….that’s all I got. GET OFF MY LAWN!

Universe 1-a: Spongey444

…That was trippy. Is that really what I would do if I was someone else? …Whew, I’m glad I’m me! I’ll never make a world traveling device ever again. Though I’ll admit it was interesting get a peek into other worlds. It’s odd that I share the EXACT same opinions as those other versions of the reviewers.

I’ll just keep this machine in storage in case I somehow want to look at those worlds again. Why did I spent a whole month looking into that thing? Whatever, at least it’s all over. Now I can get back to doing normal reviews.

Tune in August 3rd, when I return to normal reviews with…A Fairly Odd Summer.

It’s good to be back.


Critiquing the Critics belongs to MartialHorror aka Blake.

I belong to me

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Eleseworlds Month: Admirable Animation

Eleseworlds Month

Universe 421-B: The Mysterious Mr Enter (again)

It’s hard to make a good musical episode. As I said before, you got to get your story straight before you slap songs onto it. This doesn’t apply to “joke” episodes like Rollercoaster the musical, of course. It’s hard to make it so every song has a point while also having a good story.

This applies to normal musicals but it applies to Musical Episodes as well. So today, we’ll look at one of the better examples of a musical episode. And it comes from The Fairly Odd Parents. After my last experience with this show, I needed one of it’s great specials before i get into more of it’s crap., And trust me, we’ll tackle this show on both shows in the future.

While the episode we’re taking isn’t what you think of when you wish of great musical episodes, but it it kind of. FOP was always good at big specials, unlike it’s yellow sister, and this is a good example of that.

Let’s take a look at School’s Out! The Musical and see what makes this one so good.

The episode opens in Kansas, 37 years ago, as a circus train is about to fall off the tracks because the bridge is out. Two clown parents want to send their kid away, Superman style.

“Are you sure there’s no other way?”

“I’m a clown. The only thing I';m sure of is that Seltzer is funny”

Trust me, Seltzer is not funny, and neither is Freidberg. …Wait.

They send their kid off in a rocket thingy, which turns out to be a bad idea from the train actually moves away from the broken part.

“Didn’t see that turn there”

They must be really blind. Yeah, I never said this episode wasn’t a tad forced.

The baby lands near the Pixies, who are out in the country after their last plan failed. For those who don’t watch the show, Pixies here are boring businessmen voiced by Ben Stein. Perfect casting if I’ve ever seen it.

The Pixies, HP and Sanderson, find that baby.

“Sanderson, I think this the beginning of a new 37 year plan”

We cut to 37 years later, with Timmy on the last day of school. Even Fairly World is excited about Summer starting today, which brings up a lot of questions about other countries I won’t get into.

The bell rings and we get our first song,. Kids just being Kids. I won’t review the songs, to show how they work story-wise. At the end, I’ll rank them. I’ll just say they are very good. The kids run amuck, doing crazy things and the Pixies use their “Magic” to make everything dangerous.

The mayhem does not go well with the adults, who want to protect their kids from the crap they are doing. Another flaw people may find, is that the episode sort of vilifies the adults for wanting to protect their kids. While that is true, they take it too far and the ultimate message is in favor of parents controlling things a tad. More on that later.

The adults go to City Hall to rage at the mayor for what happened. They are about to kill him when Flappy Bob appears. In the show, there was a place called “Flappy Bob’s something something canneverremeberthename learnatoruim” which was an incredibly “safe” fun place for kids tghat wasn’t fun at all them. It was used in a few episodes, but here this location that wasn’t important, becomes the biases for the plot, and Flappy Bob himself becomes a complex character.

Now that is some great continuity. By the way, Bob is the kid from the opening. Now he’s a boring businessman for reasons we’ll get into later. He suggests putting the kids in Camp Learnatorium, an educational summer camp. In our next song, Get Flappy, he pretty much tells the parents that putting them in the camp is better than letting them run around all summer.

“You can learn to love your cellmate or learn to love this clown!”

….Let’s move on.

The kids are dumped off at the camp, which of course is a super cushy place where the kids are in these weird suits, and they are forced to do very un-fun things.

fop

Timmy isn’t happy about this, but before he can say anything else, The Pixes pop in to gloat about
Timmy’s misery.

“All of your misery has one common denominator. Adults”

In Song #3, Adults Ruin Everything, the kids mourn the fact that adults control their lives and are a huge pain. So Timmy fixes this with an interesting.

“Adults can’t ruin everything, if us kids ran the world!”

That’s right, Timmy wishes that kids ran the world. I’ll ignore the implacations and just say that this is a pretty good concept. Infact, the story in general is really good. Everything just gels together, and it gets even better as it goes along.

As a side note, the pacing may seem a tad fast but we’re 15 minutes in now, and that’s a good time for the plot to start. It just seems shorter with the songs, oddly enough.

This was part of the Pixies plan, and they gloat about how their plan is going kid. They do so in….song. It hasn’t even been a minute since the last one. I’m willingly to forgive it cuz we had our villain song….er-rap. Yes, the Pixies rap. Don’t worry, they have different voices here.

I’m not the biggest rap fan in the world, but I do like villain songs so “Pixie Rap” is cool. It’s a tad pointless as it just says what we kind of new about: They raised Flappy Bob to help with their plan and now they are going to take over fairly world. At least the song is fine.

Anyway, Timmy finds out he is the President of kid world.

“Everywhere but Florida, they’re still voting!”

Also, this episode is funny.

“What do I do?”

“Whatever you want. You’re in charge!”

“I’m in charge!”

In yet another song, called Ten and in Charge, we see that Kid World is doing fine, because with kids there are no wars (Bullshit) and Timmy isn’t the worst ruler ever. I won’t complain about the songs coming so fast, because this is a musical after all. Songs tell the story after all.

It includes a reprise of Pixie Rap, where they tell Jorgen that kids are too happy in this world and this, the fairies are usless.

“When the kids have too much power, and the fairies get retired, we pixies can grant wishes, and make the whole world what we desire!”

That’s a dumb rule, but Da Rules has always been weird. It’s actually a pretty smart plan on the Pixies part: Raise a clown to be boring and run a camp, make kids go so crazy they are put in the camp so a kid will want to make kids the rulers, thus making fairies useless and giving them power. By this show’s standards, that’s a very smart plan. Even if it kind of relies on there being a kid wanting to wish that, since they didn’t know Timmy 37 years ago.

Anyway, Jorgen pops up and takes Cosmo and Wanda away, just as Timmy is singing about how happy he is. Haw haw. Jorgen takes the faires to Fairy World, as he explains his reasoning in our next song, Pull Back the Faires. It’s a polka, which almost out weirds the Pixe rap. Almost.

It’s another semi-pointless one, as Jorgen is just saying what we established before. It’s just a way for him to pull back the fairies in a catchy way. But even the pointless songs work, since most musicals make it so if you listen the songs outside of the episode, you’ll get the full story. It works in that way.

Cosmo and Wanbda are taken to a fairy dungeon, and Timmy’s party is crashed again by Flappy Bob. What’s odd here is Bob is actually sympathetic here. As he says, he was raised to think boring is fun, and he channeled that in the camp. He’s not really doing anything wrong, it’s just the way he was raised. And it’s actually intentional.

Speaking of who raised him, the Pixies show up to explain everything. Since he was a kid in an Orphanage, they have been watching over him and putting his life on a boring path. They gave him the plans for the camp and everything. We see that they did have a positive influence in his life in some parts, so we see why Bob is conflicted about who to believe about fun.

“We like to think of ourselves as your god parents”

“God parents? No, that means they can grant a Wish”

You know, there is another flaw in their plan. Taking fairies away from their kid makes it so Pixies rule? Fairies have no place in society without kids? And obviously evil Pixies are given power? Da Rules makes no sense sometimes.

Anyway, The Pixies say they will give Bob everything he wants if he signs a contract.

“I know they’re the guys who gave you everything you wanted, and I’m the guy who destroyed your life long dream, but you have to listen to me!”

This leads to our next song, Where is the fun? This one works the best story wise. It perfectly sums up what I’ve been saying. It shows Flappy’s conflict, and we see we has a tough time picking a side. It’s not all black and white for him. We have Timmy saying that despite what the Pixies have done for him, it’s part an evil plot, and the Pixes say that they raised him and Timmy is ruining everything.

The conflict is more complex than I expected, and this song captures it perfectly. In the end, Bob sides with The Pixies and signs the contract. Thus, the world becomes a safe, un-fun wasteland. Back with Cosmo and Wanda, as Jorgen interrogates her for some reason.

“Do you want to stay in jail for the rest of your fairy life, or do you want to blame Cosmo?”

“Blame Cosmo?”

This leads us into our next song, Floating with You. It’s a love ballad that shows how they love each other through some flashbacks. It’s the only song I could argue is a bit pontless because as sweet it is, whatever Drama they were going for doesn’t really work because it’s kind of forced. That and what happens after it.

“Operation distract Jorgen with a Gooey love song works every time!”

Eh, at least Jorgen got into it.

The two escape, just as The Pixies turn Fairy World into a boring Pixie World.

“There’s still enough pretty color left for one of us to slide down the rainbow bridge! …Wow, there wasn’t a manly word in that sentence”

Wanda goes down on her own, and we cut back to Pixie World for our next song, Unfundementals. We get a peek at the boring life of Pixie world, and the equally boring life on Earth. We also see Flappy sing about how he’s not sure if he made the right choice.

After the song, Bob overhears The Pixies admitting that Bob was just a pawn in their plan. This is why you never gloat about your evil plans with the door open. Jokes aside, this is another great moment that feeds into his development.

Wanda picks up Timmy, but there’s no way to turn the world back to normal.

fop2

That is until Flappy Bob shows up, having returned to his clowny roots. He realized that The Pixies are evil and that boring is not at all fun. Kind of rushed, but it works. With that we get a song called “The Reprise” which reprises most of the songs in the special. It starts with “Where is the fun”, goes into Kids just being kids, goes into Pixie Rap, goes into Ten and In Charge, and ends with Adults Ruin everything. Timmy and Flappy spread fun across the land which causes The Pixes to come down and stop them.

“You lied to me. You lied to me for 37 Years! You tricked me and kept me from being the super hilarious, if not somewhat creepy, clown I was destined to be.”

“Yes. Yes we did”

Did I turn on Phineas and Ferb by mistake?

They bring up their contract, which Flappy Bob breaks apart with the power of loopholes.

“In return for making the world what you want, yada yada yada…Pixies get the power, yada yada yada, Earth will be safe and fun as defined by Flappy Bob”

“Guess what I define as fun now? The world being exactly the way it’s supposed to be!”

“Oh Smoof”

“You probably shouldn’t have sent him to law school”

A bit Anti-Climatic but I guess it works in it’s own way.

The Pixies rip up the contract and everything turns back to normal. And to cap it off, Flappy’s Parents pop up!

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

“We looked everywhere there would be clowns”

Eh, I guess that’s why they never came across this dinky town that attracts weird shit in 37 years.

“We even checked the US Congress. It was full of clowns, but none of them were fun!”

It turns out Wanda found his parents, which was easier than it should have been. Also, Cosmo reunites with Wanda and the camp is torn down.

With that, we get our final song, a reprise of Kids just being kids in which they recap the special and celebrate. It includes this line:

“With some control parentally!”

There, it says fun is fun if parents control it instead of just letting you wreck the place. Told you. And when the song ends, so does the special.

And that was School’s Out The Musical. While it was one of the more flawed episodes I’ve featured on here, it’s still really good. The story works pretty well and everything works. The Pixies had a pretty good (if odd) plan, and it ties into the story well. But what really shines is the story of Flappy Bob. His development is very well done, with one of the more complex conflicts on the show.

It also works as a musical, as every song is great, and the songs tell the story well, even the pointless ones. There are a total of 11 songs in a 47 minute special, and they mostly never feel superfluous. By the way, Here’s my ranking:

10. Floating With You
9. UnFundementals
8. Get Flappy
7. The Reprise
6. Ten and in Charge
5. Pull back the Fairies
4. Kids Just Being kids/Rerise
3. Pixie Rap
2. Adults Ruin everything
1. Where is the fun?

While it is flawed, it makes up with those flaws with it’s clever story, great development, and of course, awesome songs. Channel Chaser may be the better of the “classic” specials but this one is still pretty good. Happy Belated Summer!

The Fairly Odd Parents is property of Nickelodeon

Admirable Animation belongs to The Mysterious Mr Enter aka John Enter

School’s Out! The Musical was written by Butch Hartman and Steve Marmel

(I picked this one at random, but mostly because I really like it. I realized some of it’s flaws while doing this, but I think it’s pretty awesome. I used to have the DVD and I would watch it all the damn time. I memorized the songs and the rest of the episode too. Ah, memories)

(What’s next? I have no idea.)

ELSEWORLDS MONTH WILL CONTINUE

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Eleseworlds Month: Animated Atrocities

(My last attempt went south, but hopefully this one doesn’t get eaten. By the way, Mr Enter’s Birthday happens to be coming up so….there’s that)

Elseworlds Month

Universe 721-The Mysterious Mr Enter

This was inevitable. G3 of My Little Pony is a regular customer, and Newborn Cuties aka G3.5 is even more infamous. I had to tackle it eventually, and that time has come. Most of you know about it, but I’ll explain what it is.

While Regular G3 had SOME effort put into it, since it Direct to DVD and had somewhat of a budget, Newborn Cuties was nothing more than a cheap web toon with no budget or effort whatsoever. The fact that I found very little information on this thing, shows just how much they cared.

I don’t like to say something had NO effort into it, as even something like Breadwinners had some level of effort put into it. Even if wasn’t nearly enough. This, however, is the cloest to no effort you’ll ever see. And that fact that it’s an officaly part of MLP history is just…sad.

But enough talking, let’s take a look at Over two Rainbows and see where this failed. It starts with a little trip into some of the worst animation you’ll ever see. Seriously, everything looks so flat and basic. It feels unfinished.

And that’s just the background and general landscape. We see a pony reading a story book and I’m pretty sure she’s dead. Oh wait, the animators just couldn’t afford any actual movements. She tells us the story of when SweetieBelle came to ponyville. Joy.

We see our young ponies as Rainbow Dash is being her fashionable self. It still hurts to say that. After more bad animation, we find out that the ponies mouths don’t move. No, seriously. Their traps are shut the entire time.

They were that fucking lazy. Even the other short managed to mouth their mouths a bit!

“We won’t Rainbow Dash, it’s totally fantablous”

The voice acting sucks too. Like I said, no effort.

Their party is interrupted by an incoming storm, and after more Non-Animation, we see that there is literately no rain at all even though they say they almost got soaked. Seriously, you couldn’t draw a few rain drops?

When the world’s shortest storm ends, the result is two rainbows. No, I won’t make the joke because it’s currently 2014.

“When color and light comes together,….that’s where real magic is born!”

Out from the….you know what, comes a little pony. Wait, what?

“It could be a fairy. Or a dragon”

U R dum.

“It’s a baby!”

You heard that right. Baby ponies are born from rainbows. That….raises so many questions that I won’t get into them. But I do have one: Did I just watch a rainbow sex scene?

“Yeah, Unicorn. But what about my scarf?”

I hate you.

The baby responds by-

horror

KILL IT WITH FIRE!

…Sorry about that.

“I need to get to my totally fantablous scarf”

You just witness new life being born into the world. It’s a bit more important than your fucking scarf!

The baby uses her magic to put Rainbow in a bubble, and she pops her out. There aren’t any sound effects either. Did ANYONE care about this thing?

“Cute, what does cute have to do with anything? She isn’t even supposed to be here”

“How come?”

“She’s a Unicorn, and everypony in Ponyville knows that Unicorns being in Unicornia”

And now we can kind of add “Racist” to the least of reasons this Rainbow Dash sucks.

“I think someone woke up on the wrong side of the crib”

By the way, where are these kids parents?

Rainbow and the baby exchange creepy faces, and they say that Sweetie likes her.

“You know I also like? My scarf”

SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR FUCKING SCARF.

Sweetie fixes Rainbow’s scarf, so now she likes her. Glad to know you don’t like people until they benefit you and only you.

“Thank you, Sweetie…Burp?”

“She’s no Sweetie Burp, she’s a Sweetie Belle”

Did I really just hear that?

“She’s our magical Sweetie belle!”

Then Sweetie does her own fashion show, with more Non-Animation.

“Rainbow Dash may have lost the spotlight that day, but she gained something even better. We all did! Our wonderful little Sweetie Belle. The End”

Yes, that’s really the end. The ponies play, Sweetie pops out of a rainbow, she pisses off Rainbow, fixes her scarf, and that’s it. So little happened that I’m just gonna cover the over short to make this review longer. Also, Andrea Libman was Sweetie Belle. Yes, actual actors with actual careers worked on this and said yes to it. What.

So Many Different ways to Play starts out with a tea party hosted by Pinkie Pie. It has the same crappy animation, but as I said before, they actually animate the mouths this time. Apparently this was the first one they did, which means this shit actually got WORSE.

We even have sound effects, except they are so annoying I wish I didn’t bitch about it before. Pinkie’s Mom drops off her friend Cheerlie, who brought her little sister, Scootaloo. Yes, Cheerlie is the same as Pinkie and Scootaloo is her sister. Just roll with it.

“Yay yay, wonderful”

The voice is mostly better but Scootaloo is the exception.

“Would you care to join our most pinkilicous tea party?

This prompts Scootaloo to say “Party” over and over again and jump around like a crazy pony. I hate her already.

They ditch the tea party and bring out a picture book. But Scootaloo ruins that by switching the light on and off.

“On, off!”

She continues to do annoying things, cementing as the worst pony in a sea of awful characters. Seriously, she never shuts the fuck and does nothing by annoy everyone else.

‘From now on, maybe your Mom should buy sugar free oatmeal”

“Aren’t we having fun?”

NO.

They take the tea party outside, which works better because it allows Scotaloo to jump around without actual damaging anything. Unless you count my ears.

“Sometimes doing your own thing can be a lot of fun. But playing together. That’s what it’s all about. The end”

Wait, what? That’s it. Even the first one had SOMETHING happen. This was….NOTHING. Scootaloo came by, she did annoying shit, and they played outside. That’s it! Even normal G3 TRIED to have substance!

By the way, both of these end with the intro in reserve. They were that lazy. And that was all over Newborn Cuties, besides that one special but that’s for another time. It made normal G3 look like Twilight’s Kingdom.

It has NOTHING of substance at all. The animation was almost non existent, the characters were either bland or unlikable, and both stories were incredibly light. I couldn’t decide which was worse. Over Two Rainbows got me angrier, but So Many different ways to Play had even less substance.

It doesn’t matter, because of them had no redeeming value whatsoever. And I don’t hate it because it’s not G4. Even if I disliked Friendship is Magic, I would still hate this pandering, dumb down, piece of pony shit.

This represents everything wrong with cartoons for little girls. Hell, kids in genreal. It was made to amuse little girls and that’s it. There was no effort to do anything even remoetly interesting. I don’t require it to have as much adult appeal as FiM. I just want to talk to kidsat their level. Is that so much to ask?

Thankfully, this kind of crap isn’t made as much anymore. Even those Barbie and Monster High cartoons look like some effort went into them, at least compared to this crap. If you excuse me, I’m gonna try to forgot this ….thing ever fucking existed.

My Little Pony Newborn Cuties is Property of Hasbro

Animated Atrocities is property of The Mysterious Mr Enter aka Jonathan Enter

Over Two Ranbows was written by Jeanne Romano and Bonnie Solomon

So many different ways to play was written by James Faar. It kind of makes sense that the one with less plot had only one writer.

(The anger shown here is a both a combo of my own feelings, and just me trying to say what he would say. I was just gonna cover OTR but it gave me so little that I had to do the other one. By the way, I think the only reasons Enter hasn’t covered this is cuz …..even he has standards? Wait no, he watched Fresh Heir. ….I don’t know then. This thing was pretty bad but eh, still better than Brickleberry.)

(Next time, we stick with Mr Enter, because I gotta cleanse my mind with an Admiration Animation)

ELESEWORLD MONTH WILL CONTINUE

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Eleseworlds Month: Norty (Part 2)

(I just realized that I skipped Mr Enter for the guy that introduced me to him. Weird. Anyway, he has quite a few shows, and I picked the one that tackles bad episode of good kid’s shows. Yay)

Elseworlds Month

Universe 714B-Kids are Smarter than This:

 

I like Wizards of Waverly Place, so you shouldn’t be shocked that I like Pair of Kings.

 

Pair of Kings ran on Disney XD from 2010 to 2012, and it was about two brothers, played by Mitchell Musso and Doc Shaw, that become kings of the Island of Kinkow for reasons I won’t get into.

To help them handle the Island is Mason, the royal advisor, his daughter Mikayla, who Brady has a crush on, and Lanny, their cousin who was going to rule the Island until Boomer and Brady came along. He mostly tries to kill them so he can take over the throne.

You know, for kids!

On the surface, this show looks like your typical Disney Sitcoms, where the leads are assholes and the humor sucks. However, the show is actually kind of decent! The main reason is the Story and character development.

Not only does the Island have an interesting culture that leads to good jokes and world building, but our leads actually grow as the show goes on. In the pilot alone, they try to fix the mess they made and actually prove to be decent rulers.

It’s not just them being assholes. It’s all about them becoming good rulers, even if Boomer is a bit better than Brady. While they can suffer from Aosep Amnesia, they do prove to be likable, and in episodes like Pair of Santas, they do nice things without having to be provoked.

This show impressed me with how good it was at character development. The Season 2 finale is another great showcase for that.

But of course, there has to be a few duds in there that derail all of that. Most people would want me to tackle the Season 3 premiere, where they spit in the face of character development, so they can kick off Mitchel Musso when they should have just ended the show. But honestly, that one isn’t THAT bad, and I give the writers credit for TRYING to salvage this Dead on arrival idea. Besides, it’s not very annoying, unlike the episode we’re discussing today.

Instead, I’m looking at the Season 2 episode No Rhyme or Treason Let’s see what happens when your so called hero suffers Derailment.

The episode starts with Boomer seeing Brady dressed as the king of the ocean. Wait, what?

“Mikalya loves the ocean right? Well I’m dressed as the kind of the ocean, she has to love me. It’s called logic bro. Look it up”

“No, that’s called desperation. Look THAT up”

I love it when the show does my job for me.

 

At least he didn’t do something really stupid like put a live octopus under her pillow-he did, didn’t he? ….We’re only a minute in and already Brady is already starting to lose his likability.

“Why are you always trying to flirt with me? It kind of creeps me out”

Do I even need to be here?

“You’re not the one standing behind him. Those tights are showing off Neptune’s great barrier reef!”

Lovely.

“I didn’t hear you, I was naming our future children” .

..We haven’t even gotten to the theme song yet. This won’t end well.

This causes Mikayla to put her foot down and say if this doesn’t stop, their relationship will be strictly professional. Well, I have my vote for best character in the whole show now.

And then Lanny shows up. Oh good, maybe he can bring some humor to this.

“Ah, the sun’s shining, the birds are singing. I don’t even hate the king’s today!”

And the Octopus lands on his face and he falls down. …Wow, you had to fit in some Unnecessary Cruelty while you were at it? I mean, I know he’s the villain, but he usually deserves it. Here, he’s fine. He didn’t he want to do anything evil! Whatever.

After the theme song, Brady starts hiding from Mikayla because it’s hard not to flirt with her. Or you could take a freaking hint and just not be creepy. Is it that so hard?

“Every time like you feel like blurting out that mental garbage, just bite your lounge.”

MAKAYLA: I got a new dress, what do you think?

Yes, say that to the guy you want NOT to flirt with you. That makes sense!

She follows that up by thanking Brady for not saying anything dumb recently. Oh the irony! She invites them  to a poetry slam, which on Kinkow is very literal. If the Islanders don’t like the poem, they body slam the poet.

…Okay, that’s awesome. I would totally go to that.

We cut to the Slam, which is exactly as she describe. But as a special surprise, she goes up there to recite a poem. The poem sucks but she doesn’t get body slammed because she kicks the slammer guys asses.

Wow, this episode is starting to get good! …Something stupid is gonna happen.

“Ahh, I have no more tongue to bite! You guys see that? My woman just hugged me! …You’re butterfly might be kissing the sky, but mine gives me hugs. Hug me again, Island Girl.”

….And any likability he has left just flew right out the window. So far, he has made no effort to fix his problem, and he won’t take a freaking hint. It’s not funny, it’s annoying….and kind of creepy.

And believe it or not, he gets worse later on. Mikayla body slams him, thank god, and slams him verbally for what he did.

“I told you we wouldn’t be friends if you kept flirting with me. You kept flirting with me, so what does that mean?”

“That….we’re meant to be together”

I hate you.

‘It means we’re no longer friends”

Again, favorite character.

After more Lanny tortue porn, Maykala makes good on her promise and ignores Brady. But she does invite Boomer to the Slam that night.

“Just because you and I aren’t friends, doesn’t mean Boomer and I can’t be”

True, but perhaps inviting your Ex-Friend’s brother to anything in front of him is a bad idea, considering how he is. But yes, you have every right to be friends with Boomer, which is why I am with her as she slams Brady for being a dick about it.

Seriously, at no point in this episode has Brady been the slightest bit likeable. I guess I get what they were trying to do, but none of this is funny so it doesn’t even have Rule of funny working for it.

Boomer, against Brady’s wishes, goes to the slam with Mikayla that night. Sadly, even this goes downhill as the next poet body slammed is an old lady.

“That was close, I did not want to hear the end of that”

Abuse to the Elderly is hilarious, right?

It goes even more downhill when Brady shows up, having figured out they were there. Once again, Boomer and Mikayla slam him with logic and he doesn’t listen.

There is only one fully unlikable character here, and yet that one guy ruins this entire episode.

Since he can’t stop them from being friends, he makes Poetry illegal. Becuase that’s the only place they could possibly hang out, right?

Is there really no way to ban two people from hanging out? Oh wait, Boomer’s also the king, that makes sense. Dang it!

“You know what, bro? You’re gone too far. You’re no longer friends with Mikayla, and now you’re not friends with me.”

This may the first time the character I yell at actually gets what he deserves.

Look, I get that they are making a “Dramatic” story out of this, but it doesn’t work when your hero being a dick is hard to watch. I’m glad people are having the right reaction to his actions, but it doesn’t his actions fun to watch at all. Either make it funny, or do what Adventure Time’s “Frost and Fire” did and give him an excuse for doing what he did. Whatever, let’s move on.

After the commercial, Boomer tells Brady he can’t outlaw poetry with his consent, since they are both kings. And then Brady pulls out a piece of paper, and asks Boomer to sign it, saying it’s an autograph.

And now the Idiot stick has hit Boomer. How sad.

“You have just signed the No Poetry policy into law”

Seriously, how dumb do you have to be to fall for that?

In retaliation Boomer sets up a secret poetry slam in the jungle that night. Secret poetry slam, that’s something I never thought I would see.

Lanny just happens to see this and tells Brady about it. Also, Brady is pretending a Pelican is Makalya. …Moving on.

Back at the slam, Boomer recites a poem of his own which is about Brady.

“Now I’m friends with the girl he misses, while he’s at home getting pelican kisses”

How does he know about that?

“If he would just be her friend, all this would end, cuz I really miss my twin”

Hey, that’s kind of sweet-and Brady shows up to body slam him before he can hear the last part. Goddammit, Brady!

“I almost had the perfect poem, and you ruined it” ‘

I really am shocked that Brady hasn’t been likable for even a second yet. I mean seriously. They attempt to fix that when Brady gets out a poem of his own.

“A heart that wants someone, I know I can’t have. A heart that would rather annoy that girl, then by broken by her.. I apologize for my heart, but it and I can never be apart”

That’s sweet….until you realize he’s trying to justify being a creepy dick. Lanny shows up, and after a line so dumb I won’t even show it, Brady is put under house arrest for what he did.

“I guess I deserve this”

Exactly!

“You know I don’t like Makayla like that.”

“It’s just so easy for you to hang out around her and act cool. Why can’t I do that?”

“Because, you do like her like that”

….Well, this is interesting. Are you saying that there was actually a point to him being so unlikable? This whole time, he had to be a dick as part of his development? That’s….impressive.

Most of the time a bad episode has no excuse for being bad, but this kind of does. I have to give them credit. This almost kind of works. But I’ll get into why this really doesn’t at the end.

Brady talks to Mikayla outside. She has him eat frozen yogurt, to make sure he doesn’t say anything stupid during her following speech. Keep that in mind.

“I miss having you as a friend. I think deep down, you’re a really great guy. I mean deep deep down. We’re talking China deep.”

You think that bit ruined it? After she leaves, Brady spits out his Fro Yo, as he has Brain Freeze.

“I didn’t hear a word she said”

….Wow. Just wow. You had an excuse for the character derailment, but you flush it all away with this. Not only does she screw up her apology, but saying he’s only a good guy really deep down, but he doesn’t hear anything she says.

Way to screw it all up, guys. Bravo.

And after more Lanny torture, including a bad CGI octopus, the episode ends. This episode was pretty weak.

While it has it’s amusing moments, and I see what they were trying to do with, it just doesn’t work. While Brady’s crush can be annoying and creepy at times, he’s never been THIS much of an unlikable prick.

He never takes a hint, he keeps doing what he’s doing, he bans poetry just to stop Boomer from hanging out with Mikayla and he’s just unlikable all the way through. That’s the biggest issue I have with the episode.

I can take some of the dumber jokes and the Lanny Torture porn, but I can’t tolerate Brady here. The worst is the ending.

It seems like him being a dick was just part of the show’s usual good development. It’s like they were using the show’s strength to fix a weakness, but that all goes downhill when Maykla flat out says he’s only a good guy really deep down, and he doesn’t even what she said.

Yes, he doesn’t do anything too bad, and it’s kind of her fault, but the fact that she did that to stop him from being creepy is kind of telling. There’s nothing worse than an episode, or anything, that ruins whatever praise I had with the ending.

Overall, it doesn’t quite get to me as much as it should, (probably because annoying things get less annoying on a third viewing), but thanks to some major derailment and that ending, it’s a stupid episode you should all skip.

But, if you can tolerate Disney Sitcom stuff, I recommend the rest of the series. Even the 3rd season. It’s on Netflix Instant if you’re curious.

Thank you all for watch-er…reading, and I will see you all next time. Bye.

Kids are Smarter than This belongs to Kyle Northup

(This one was fun to do.  I picked this episode at random, and because I feel more strongly about show it belongs to than the other candidates I had. And yes, I have seen it 3 times now. 1st time was when I watching the show for my Disney XD thing. 2nd was for this month awhile ago, and of course 3rd was for the review just now. As a side note, this makes The New King worse, as Brady just leaves after she hints she doesn’t like him, where he won’t leave her alone. Whatever, this is still the worse episode.)

(Next, I give Animated Atrocities another shot. Don’t worry, it’s not Brickleberry. But it’s still kind of awful)

ELSEWORDS MONTH WILL CONTINUE

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Elseworlds Month: Norty (Part 1)

(The next Elseworlds Month was gonna be an Animated Atrocities on Brickleberry but the ASCII monster ate it. I had to watch the pilot twice to do the review. I watched a Bricklberry episode twice for nothing. Fuck. …Anyway, instead, have a reviewer none of you have heard of. Look him up, I’m doing him twice for a reason)

Elseworlds Month

Universe 714-Norty Defends

HI INTERNET!

And Welcome to Norty Defends. …Sometimes I hate using the reviewer I’m covering’s opening phrase. Anyway, today we’re defending a film from a reviewer a lot of you have never heard of. Then again, if you’re desperate enough to watch me, you must have looked through every other reviewer already.

Anyway, I’m talking about fightingleaf, creator of “You’re Gonna Regret: Children’s Movie reviwers”. Nowadays he does reviews as himself, but this is the show he became known for. It stars a boring Ninja dude and an annoying wolf puppet. No seriously, these are the hosts. This could either be good or bad.

It’s….neither. The problem with him is that these two extreme don’t really work. You either have to face bland-ness or obnixious-ness. You don’t want either. On top of that, they pick pretty easy targets. Cars 2, Alvin and the Chipmunks, The Smurfs, that kind of stuff. Of course, that doesn’t make him bad, it just makes him….typical. In a weird way.

He can be pretty entertaining at times, but other times he’s very annoying. Not to mention that he seems more interested in making dumb jokes than giving us actual reviews. And before anyone says anything, at least Nostalgia Critic and others, have more to them.

There’s nothing wrong with that, but it does bug me sometimes. Thankfully, his choices tend to make sense…..except the one we’re talking about today. And that film he chose to rip into is….The Spongebob SquarePants Movie.

Now, The Spongebob Movie isn’t a cinematic masterpiece by any stretch, but I think it’s a solid family flick that represents the show well. Insert Post Movie slam here. It’s just an choice, since most people like it. Of course, it’s fine if he hates it, as long as he gives good reasons and make it enjoyable for the films fans.

If that was true, I wouldn’t be here right now. So let’s look at his review of The Spongebob SquarePants Movie, and see who fails in a….house…over the …sea. ….Just start it.

The review starts with some stuff, and then we get his intro….which was made by Brental Floss. Okay, that’s awesome. Credit where credit is due. After that, it turns the review will have some other guy too. I don’t know, I don’t watch his stuff often.

As you know, the film opens with live action pirates finding treasure.

“It’s full of tickets to a film we’re already watching”

“I imagine this was include to prevent the auidence from walking out too early”

….I don’t get it.

“It’s like saying “oh the pirates, like this movie, so will you!”

….Really? That’s what you’re going with? If you’re gonna bitch about something, nitpick the fact that they have like 8 tickets and about 20 pirates. I don’t know, something that makes sense!

“Those aren’t even enough tickets”

….You win this round.

“What are tickets for a new movie doing in a treasure chest?”

That’s the joke.

After the movie proper starts, he gets to the bit where Mr Krabs says he’s wiaitng for the manager.

“Shouldn’t he already be there if he’s the manager?”

Hey, a good point! Glad you could do it.

After the (Spoilers) dream ends, Spongebob does stuff, the guys make some okay points but all that is covered up in the main issue I poitned out before. The main guy is just too bland for my tastes, and that wolf puppet never shuts up. It’s hard to take any of points seriously when we have this to listen to.

They bitch about the Goofy Goober song, yet this is fine. Whatever. He moves to the moment of truth where Mr K announces the manager of the Krusty Krab 2. Spoilers, it’s Squidward, not Spongebob

‘Because he’s just a kid. A kid whose been working for him for 30 years and is a bigger manchild than Toby Sevile from the Squeakuel!”

You ALMOST made a good point until the end. Mr K picking Squidward makes no sense, but it looks like Mr Leaf is more interested in referencing other reviews he did to make a decent point.

Anyway, Plankton visits King Neptune.

“Cuz, that’s the only underwater names the writers could think of using”

Did you expect them to use anything else? Neptune (Or Poseidon if the prefer) is kind fhe god of the Sea. It makes perfect sense to make him the ruler. If it means making him a King and confusing the fans of the show.

“Not ot be confused with Neptune the god in the show”

Oh hey, he pointed it out. And he gets that they are two different characters! Nice.

So Plankton steals the King’s crown, and the reviews moves on to Spongebob at the Goofy Goober nut bar where SB and Patrick get drunk on Ice Cream. Yes, for all you who have yet to see the film, they get drunk. At least our reviewers doesn’t make the obvious joke here. SO, SB and Pat go on a binge.

“All this is trying to do is make funny noises in the hopes that it somehow becomes funny”

Eh, that’s almost a good point, but not quite. The joke is that they are going through Ice Cream like mad, and getting drunk. It’s not just noises, a lot of the Comedy here simply focuses on the absurdity of it all. Plus, the deadpan waiter.

“Why do I always get the nuts?”

Close, but no cigar.

After stuff you know about, even if you haven’t seen the movie SB and Pat head off on their epic quest to get Neptune’s Crown, and they just keep bitching about the film being annoying rather than saying anything interesting.

“It’s dumb and a waste time, much like the rest of this movie”

And this review. …Come on, I had to.

SB and Pat end up in the bathroom of a Thug Guy bear (Don’t ask), and after yet more bitching, he gets to that bit where Squidward tells Plankton he knows of his plan.

“Why did he tell him instead of Neptune, the ruler of the land?”

Another good point! And that’s the main problem with this review. He has decent points at times, but he seems to prefer bitching and nitpicking. A lot of them, he bitches about stuff that is the JOKE. He doesn’t have to find it funny, but he also doesn’t have to take it so seriously.

But whatever, let’s move on. SB and Pat end up singing about being men in a trench. I’m skipping a lot because most of the review just has them bitching instead of reviewing. I feel like i’m covering the movie more than the review. Then again, their review also contains too much explaining at some points, and when they break for a joke, it’s just more screaming. They bitch about the film’s noise, but that’s all these guys contribute to the review!
After a meeting with Alec Baldwin’s best role, the heroes are taken by a diver. They say that the cyblops being a driver is one of the few things in the film that makes sense. Oh, I’m sorry your movie about a talking Sponge lacks logic.

SB and Pat are taken to his evil land gift shop, where they are put under a hot lamp. For some reason, our reviewer skips over the segment where they accept death because they find out the crown is here, meaning they achieved their goal which no one thought they would do, which is all that matters to them.

…Yes. Why did they skip over the proof that this film is more mature than they give it credit for? Probably to convince their viewers the film is worse than it is. I mean, you think they would at least mention the crown being there. Instead, they bitch about their tears bringing them back to life.

…Okay, that was kind of stupid.

Then they rush through the rest of the film. Wait, what? That makes sense when other reviews do it, but not here. There’s quite a bit to dicuss and instead they just go through everything for no reason.

Granted, it’s not to heartbreaking to skip over the return of Denis and all that, but no lingering on DAVID HASSELHOFF? Come on! Hell, he even skims through Goofy Goober rock! Seriously, your not even gonna bitch about the blatant Deus ex machina? You may as well do that at this point.

Not to mention that none of that will make sense to your reviewers that haven’t seen the film. In some cases, skipping stuff is fine but perhaps explaining the …interesting SB saves the day is necessary. Just saying.

“SpongeBob gets to be the manager, which is never mentioned in the show ever again-”

I can let this slide cuz not everyone looks up this stuff, but if you did research ,you would know the film takes place after everything in the show. Just saying.

Anyway, they end the summary of the film.

“This is the part of the review where I tell you what’s wrong with this movie”

This is the part of the review where I explain the obvious.

“it relied too heavily on lowest common denominator humor”

Eh, fair enough.

“It felt like the authors weren’t even trying to be clever”

I don’t know, there’s more than just dumb gags. As I explained before, there’s more to the humor than noise. Besides, you don’t need high class humor to be funny.

His other points make a bit more sense, besides saying they talk about the message too much. Even though they only mention it when it’s needed, and it fits in the story and it’s not intrusive at all.

He says his issue with the franchise as a whole is SpongeBob himself cuz he’s annoying. Eh, fair enough. As the Sponge himself said, we all can’t like the same things.

And that’s the end of the review. Eh, that’s as much detail as a review like this needs.

This review was very…uneven. It’s not as bad as I originally thought it was, but it could have been better. Sometimes, he has decent points and I’m okay with him finding the film annoying, cuz all humor is subjective. However, a lot of the review just has him bitching instead of making said points. Here’s that side of the review in a nutshell..

“THIS IS ANNOYING. NOW WATCH ME BE EVEN MORE ANNOYING”

I don’t expect anything in depth given his style, but more of the good points would be nice. Also, at times his complaints are nitpicky, and it seems like he’s missing the point. I skipped some of that as it’s part of the bitching. I think the bit about the chest of tickets was enough.

Also, did I mention the wolf thing is annoying? He has his moments but most of the time he just screams. Yet he bitches about the films noise. Wow. Anyway, the review wasn’t the worst, as I see where he’s coming from a tad, which is more than I can say for other reviewers on the same budget.

However, it has too much annoyance and bitching to make it good. This tends to plague his reviews but it’s worse here. He’s not bad, but I’m glad he’s doing reviews without the wolf thing now.

So yeah, check out his other reviews if he seems appealing, but given the amount of dislikes, this review ain’t anyone’s cup of tea. Just search “You’re gonna regret it Spongebob movie” on YouTube to see the review if you’re curious at all.

But hey, it’s the only Spongebob Movie discussion of any kind without a post movie slam. That’s something.

….I wish he had a closing catchphrase.

Norty Defends belongs to Kyle Northup.

You’re Gonna Regret it Belongs to fightleaf, cuz I’m too lazy to look up his real name.

(This one was done in one sitting. Way easier than I expected it to be. I guess it makes up for the week I spent sitting on a review that got trashed. Next time, it’s more Norty but this time, it’s a different show of his. …BY the way, I’m still bitter about the Brickleberry thing. )

ELSEWORLDS MONTH SHALL CONTINUE

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Eleseworlds Month: Atop the 4th Wall

(Warning, the following post contains more ponies)

ELSEWORLDS MONTH

UNIVERSE 345-A: Atop the Fourth wall.

Hello, and welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn. There are a few subjects I get asked about often, mostly a movie or TV show that my fans want me to like or hate because my opinion validates them, I guess.

One of those subjects, is My Little Pony: Friendship is magic. This isn’t too shocking for many reasons. One of them being that I’ve….referenced the show on a few occasions. I once even pulled a pony comic from out of nowhere with my Man powers!

That happens way too often. Anyway, my stance on the show? It’s a thing people like that isn’t my thing, but I respect the it as a whole. While I, like many others, shake my head at certain parts of the fandom, I have to respect them….mostly because many of those fans are also fans of me, and I don’t want to lose half my fanbase. Again.

And since it’s a popular thing people like it, it’s only logical that they would make a comic series out of it! Two, well, three series to be exact. Published by IDW,this comic series proved to be so popular that they made a series out of sister show, Littlest Pet Shop. But that one has has nothing really notable in it.
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….Nope, nothing.

There’s the Main series that consist a bunch of one off story arcs that started out spanning 4 issues, but reduced to two. Then we have the Micro Series, where each Issue focuses on a different character from the series.

There’s also another series that is like the Micro series, with two characters instead off just one. I figured I would review one of these comics, but I wasn’t sure which series, or comic to go with. I eventually picked one from the Micro series for a few reasons.

For one, I don’t want to waste your time with 4 or two issue arcs about Ponies and fans are mixed on the Micro serties, which means there’s a good chance I’ll pick a bad one. And really, aren’t bad comics much more fun?

….Well not for me, but I digress. From what I could gather, the one fans seem to dislike the most is the Fourth Issue, which focuses on Fluttershy. Can you guess what her trait is?

I never said the show was subtle.

So we’ll see just what gets the fans underpants in a bunch. Let’s dig into My Little Pony Micro Series #4, and see if it’s worthy any fuss.


Welecome to Atop the Fourth Wall

where bad comics burn

Linkara’s gonna teach you all

a lesson you won’t learn.

Brodsky, you’re not the smartest.

Leifeld, you’re not an artist.

If anyone’s had a bad comic published,

it could be your turn.

Linkara!

He is a man! Punch!

Wears a purdy hat.

Linkara!

He has a magic gun

Where’d he purchase that?

Linkara!

Coins, robots, Amazons, and trucks.

Linkara!

This. Comic. Sucks.

Linkara!

fluttershy

The cover is fine. We have a Fluttershy with some woodland critters. It’s decent enough, giving a taste of what the character isl ike. Granted, it has nothing to do with the plot of the comic itself, but that’s fine. Not much else to say here.

The comic opens with Fluttershy, and her bunny Angel, going out to visit her woodland friends. She stops in her tracks when she sees a flier for an Extreme art contest.

….It’s too easy at this point.

She quickly takes the flier and runs back to her house before anyone can see here. Kind of convenient that no one happened to outside, but whatever.

“I would so mortified if anypony knew what I’ve hiding downstairs in my secret room…or even that I have a secret room! Just imagine if they knew the truth..”

If you are expecting a Cupcakes joke, you can go back now. If you odn’t know what this is….good.

“What I do here in my ….CHAMBER OF EXTREME KNITTING!”

Again with the EXTREEEME!11!? I didn’t expect me to use that gag while reviewing a My Little Comic, I’ll be honest.

“I’ve also considered calling it THE PALACE OF FRIENDLY PONY GROTESQUERIES! But I thought might be a bit too much”

Okay, that was funny. But what hell are “Grotesqueries”? Comments section, get on that.

It turns out Fluttershy knits incredibly artic….thingys, and she wants her to one in Celestia’s EXTREME art contest. But of course she’s afraid of what everyone will think of her art. From what I’ve said, I doubt your friends would shoot down your art crulely, but this conflict is fine, so I’ll let it slide.

“You’re right Angel, so what? I’ll do it!”

Well, that was quick. It’s like that bit was pointless or something!

So she enters the EXTREME art contest, in disguise. She plans to entire this HUGE sculpture that somehow hit over a small tarp without anyone seeing it.

“I hope Princess Celestia will appreciate the symbolism inherent in the chaotic juxtaposition of my cutie mark melded into a transformative serial m representing the process of personal maturation as experienced by an introvert to artisan!”

“???”

“I mean I hope she likes my art because it’s about me learning to be brave”

Okay, that was also funny. Though as an Adult, even I couldn’t understand half of that.

Fluttershy spots stereotypical art critic Praiser Pan (eh, that’s kind of clever), who is about as pretentious of a critic as….well me.

Naturally, Fluttershy is afraid of his wraith. A fear which is….founded.

“This isn’t art, this is cr-”

“Ahh!”

“Craft!”

You know-for kids!

Fluttershy tries to just keep her identity as the artist under wraps, but Rarity, who happens to there, instantly recognizes her voice. Wow, the paper thing disguise actually doesn’t turn the other characters into idiots? I’m impressed.

Rarity, the great and respectful friend that she is, takes Fluttershy’s disguise off and reveals her to everyone. Needless to say, the critics are not kind.

‘Uninteresting!”

‘Dull!”

‘Unfashionable!”

You have to wonder how such jerks get to be respected as professional critics. Well, besides bribes. …Which I know absolutely nothing about.

Naturally, this doesn’t please Fluttershy and now she wants to quit art forerver. I’d complain about that…but it seems like it’s in character for her so….you win this round, My Little Pony.

“I’m worthless and my work is awful!”

I’ll never be as popular as the Bee Gees!

Fluttershy is about to destroy her work, but she decides to stand up for her piece. But she doesn’t really need to, because Princess Celestia shows up and says she likes it. This causes Praiser to change his mind about the piece.

What, is Celestia going to smite anyone who disagrees with her or something? …Or he’s just a weakling. I think that’s the point. You win THIS round, My Little Pony.

“They’re saying nice things. They like it!”

…Only because their supreme leader likes it. That’s not exactly better. Well okay, one pony still dislikes it. Guess she’s not afraid of supreme lord Celestia.

“There are always critics my dear”

So kids, if you make something, it’s amazing and anyone who doesn’t like it is a snobby critic! But if they change their minds, it’s just so they won’t get smiten by their ruler!

…What’s the lesson, again?

Fluttershy wins the EXTREME art contest and so our comic ends with Fluttershy giving us our moral.

“That’s how I learned that you should never let your fear of being criticized stop you from expressing yourself through art! Especially if you have terrific friends to help you do it! Even though I suspect they do not truly understand the artitics impulse that drives me. Which makes them even more terrifc!”

Eh, that’s a bit better. But it doesn’t change the fact that the only pony you could really trust is Celestia. Your friends probably like everything you do, and those critics only change their minds out of fear!

A bit of a mixed message, just saying.

This comic …..is okay. The artwork is decent, the premise is somewhat promosing, and I kind of see where they were goring with the moral. But at the same time, they kind of a botched it. While the ultimate message, don’t let criticism bug you, is nice, the way it’s written is kind of off.

As I said before, there was only person who liked it that Fluttershy could trust, as the others were her friends, and critics who only changed their minds out of fear. On top of that, every single pony who disliked it was a snooty critic.

Maybe if some critics liked or, or some provided constructive criticism, maybe the comic would have worked better, but as it is, it’s a little muddled. It’s not bad, as it somewhat enjoyable in some parts, but it’s a bit light, and what’s there is a bit off.

I don’t hate the comic as much as some seem too, but it’s not too great either. However, I do recommend the main series as it’s show accurate and actually pretty solid. I don’t know what the other micro series books are like, but this one is…Okay.

….It’s times like this where I wish I had a sign off phrase.

My Little Pony Micro Series is Property of IDW/Hasbro

Atop the Fourth Wall is property of Lewis Lovhaug (Hope I spelled that right) and Inked Reality.

(This one was a tad hard to make, cuz I don’t exactly have the comedy timing that Lewis does, and I was forced to nitpick a bit at some points. If I did this as me, I would discuss show faithful ness a bit more and all that. Ah well, this turned out okay.)

ELSEWORLDS MONTH SHALL CONTINUE ….SOON-ISH

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