Eleseworlds Month: Admirable Animation

Eleseworlds Month

Universe 421-B: The Mysterious Mr Enter (again)

It’s hard to make a good musical episode. As I said before, you got to get your story straight before you slap songs onto it. This doesn’t apply to “joke” episodes like Rollercoaster the musical, of course. It’s hard to make it so every song has a point while also having a good story.

This applies to normal musicals but it applies to Musical Episodes as well. So today, we’ll look at one of the better examples of a musical episode. And it comes from The Fairly Odd Parents. After my last experience with this show, I needed one of it’s great specials before i get into more of it’s crap., And trust me, we’ll tackle this show on both shows in the future.

While the episode we’re taking isn’t what you think of when you wish of great musical episodes, but it it kind of. FOP was always good at big specials, unlike it’s yellow sister, and this is a good example of that.

Let’s take a look at School’s Out! The Musical and see what makes this one so good.

The episode opens in Kansas, 37 years ago, as a circus train is about to fall off the tracks because the bridge is out. Two clown parents want to send their kid away, Superman style.

“Are you sure there’s no other way?”

“I’m a clown. The only thing I’;m sure of is that Seltzer is funny”

Trust me, Seltzer is not funny, and neither is Freidberg. …Wait.

They send their kid off in a rocket thingy, which turns out to be a bad idea from the train actually moves away from the broken part.

“Didn’t see that turn there”

They must be really blind. Yeah, I never said this episode wasn’t a tad forced.

The baby lands near the Pixies, who are out in the country after their last plan failed. For those who don’t watch the show, Pixies here are boring businessmen voiced by Ben Stein. Perfect casting if I’ve ever seen it.

The Pixies, HP and Sanderson, find that baby.

“Sanderson, I think this the beginning of a new 37 year plan”

We cut to 37 years later, with Timmy on the last day of school. Even Fairly World is excited about Summer starting today, which brings up a lot of questions about other countries I won’t get into.

The bell rings and we get our first song,. Kids just being Kids. I won’t review the songs, to show how they work story-wise. At the end, I’ll rank them. I’ll just say they are very good. The kids run amuck, doing crazy things and the Pixies use their “Magic” to make everything dangerous.

The mayhem does not go well with the adults, who want to protect their kids from the crap they are doing. Another flaw people may find, is that the episode sort of vilifies the adults for wanting to protect their kids. While that is true, they take it too far and the ultimate message is in favor of parents controlling things a tad. More on that later.

The adults go to City Hall to rage at the mayor for what happened. They are about to kill him when Flappy Bob appears. In the show, there was a place called “Flappy Bob’s something something canneverremeberthename learnatoruim” which was an incredibly “safe” fun place for kids tghat wasn’t fun at all them. It was used in a few episodes, but here this location that wasn’t important, becomes the biases for the plot, and Flappy Bob himself becomes a complex character.

Now that is some great continuity. By the way, Bob is the kid from the opening. Now he’s a boring businessman for reasons we’ll get into later. He suggests putting the kids in Camp Learnatorium, an educational summer camp. In our next song, Get Flappy, he pretty much tells the parents that putting them in the camp is better than letting them run around all summer.

“You can learn to love your cellmate or learn to love this clown!”

….Let’s move on.

The kids are dumped off at the camp, which of course is a super cushy place where the kids are in these weird suits, and they are forced to do very un-fun things.

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Timmy isn’t happy about this, but before he can say anything else, The Pixes pop in to gloat about
Timmy’s misery.

“All of your misery has one common denominator. Adults”

In Song #3, Adults Ruin Everything, the kids mourn the fact that adults control their lives and are a huge pain. So Timmy fixes this with an interesting.

“Adults can’t ruin everything, if us kids ran the world!”

That’s right, Timmy wishes that kids ran the world. I’ll ignore the implacations and just say that this is a pretty good concept. Infact, the story in general is really good. Everything just gels together, and it gets even better as it goes along.

As a side note, the pacing may seem a tad fast but we’re 15 minutes in now, and that’s a good time for the plot to start. It just seems shorter with the songs, oddly enough.

This was part of the Pixies plan, and they gloat about how their plan is going kid. They do so in….song. It hasn’t even been a minute since the last one. I’m willingly to forgive it cuz we had our villain song….er-rap. Yes, the Pixies rap. Don’t worry, they have different voices here.

I’m not the biggest rap fan in the world, but I do like villain songs so “Pixie Rap” is cool. It’s a tad pointless as it just says what we kind of new about: They raised Flappy Bob to help with their plan and now they are going to take over fairly world. At least the song is fine.

Anyway, Timmy finds out he is the President of kid world.

“Everywhere but Florida, they’re still voting!”

Also, this episode is funny.

“What do I do?”

“Whatever you want. You’re in charge!”

“I’m in charge!”

In yet another song, called Ten and in Charge, we see that Kid World is doing fine, because with kids there are no wars (Bullshit) and Timmy isn’t the worst ruler ever. I won’t complain about the songs coming so fast, because this is a musical after all. Songs tell the story after all.

It includes a reprise of Pixie Rap, where they tell Jorgen that kids are too happy in this world and this, the fairies are usless.

“When the kids have too much power, and the fairies get retired, we pixies can grant wishes, and make the whole world what we desire!”

That’s a dumb rule, but Da Rules has always been weird. It’s actually a pretty smart plan on the Pixies part: Raise a clown to be boring and run a camp, make kids go so crazy they are put in the camp so a kid will want to make kids the rulers, thus making fairies useless and giving them power. By this show’s standards, that’s a very smart plan. Even if it kind of relies on there being a kid wanting to wish that, since they didn’t know Timmy 37 years ago.

Anyway, Jorgen pops up and takes Cosmo and Wanda away, just as Timmy is singing about how happy he is. Haw haw. Jorgen takes the faires to Fairy World, as he explains his reasoning in our next song, Pull Back the Faires. It’s a polka, which almost out weirds the Pixe rap. Almost.

It’s another semi-pointless one, as Jorgen is just saying what we established before. It’s just a way for him to pull back the fairies in a catchy way. But even the pointless songs work, since most musicals make it so if you listen the songs outside of the episode, you’ll get the full story. It works in that way.

Cosmo and Wanbda are taken to a fairy dungeon, and Timmy’s party is crashed again by Flappy Bob. What’s odd here is Bob is actually sympathetic here. As he says, he was raised to think boring is fun, and he channeled that in the camp. He’s not really doing anything wrong, it’s just the way he was raised. And it’s actually intentional.

Speaking of who raised him, the Pixies show up to explain everything. Since he was a kid in an Orphanage, they have been watching over him and putting his life on a boring path. They gave him the plans for the camp and everything. We see that they did have a positive influence in his life in some parts, so we see why Bob is conflicted about who to believe about fun.

“We like to think of ourselves as your god parents”

“God parents? No, that means they can grant a Wish”

You know, there is another flaw in their plan. Taking fairies away from their kid makes it so Pixies rule? Fairies have no place in society without kids? And obviously evil Pixies are given power? Da Rules makes no sense sometimes.

Anyway, The Pixies say they will give Bob everything he wants if he signs a contract.

“I know they’re the guys who gave you everything you wanted, and I’m the guy who destroyed your life long dream, but you have to listen to me!”

This leads to our next song, Where is the fun? This one works the best story wise. It perfectly sums up what I’ve been saying. It shows Flappy’s conflict, and we see we has a tough time picking a side. It’s not all black and white for him. We have Timmy saying that despite what the Pixies have done for him, it’s part an evil plot, and the Pixes say that they raised him and Timmy is ruining everything.

The conflict is more complex than I expected, and this song captures it perfectly. In the end, Bob sides with The Pixies and signs the contract. Thus, the world becomes a safe, un-fun wasteland. Back with Cosmo and Wanda, as Jorgen interrogates her for some reason.

“Do you want to stay in jail for the rest of your fairy life, or do you want to blame Cosmo?”

“Blame Cosmo?”

This leads us into our next song, Floating with You. It’s a love ballad that shows how they love each other through some flashbacks. It’s the only song I could argue is a bit pontless because as sweet it is, whatever Drama they were going for doesn’t really work because it’s kind of forced. That and what happens after it.

“Operation distract Jorgen with a Gooey love song works every time!”

Eh, at least Jorgen got into it.

The two escape, just as The Pixies turn Fairy World into a boring Pixie World.

“There’s still enough pretty color left for one of us to slide down the rainbow bridge! …Wow, there wasn’t a manly word in that sentence”

Wanda goes down on her own, and we cut back to Pixie World for our next song, Unfundementals. We get a peek at the boring life of Pixie world, and the equally boring life on Earth. We also see Flappy sing about how he’s not sure if he made the right choice.

After the song, Bob overhears The Pixies admitting that Bob was just a pawn in their plan. This is why you never gloat about your evil plans with the door open. Jokes aside, this is another great moment that feeds into his development.

Wanda picks up Timmy, but there’s no way to turn the world back to normal.

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That is until Flappy Bob shows up, having returned to his clowny roots. He realized that The Pixies are evil and that boring is not at all fun. Kind of rushed, but it works. With that we get a song called “The Reprise” which reprises most of the songs in the special. It starts with “Where is the fun”, goes into Kids just being kids, goes into Pixie Rap, goes into Ten and In Charge, and ends with Adults Ruin everything. Timmy and Flappy spread fun across the land which causes The Pixes to come down and stop them.

“You lied to me. You lied to me for 37 Years! You tricked me and kept me from being the super hilarious, if not somewhat creepy, clown I was destined to be.”

“Yes. Yes we did”

Did I turn on Phineas and Ferb by mistake?

They bring up their contract, which Flappy Bob breaks apart with the power of loopholes.

“In return for making the world what you want, yada yada yada…Pixies get the power, yada yada yada, Earth will be safe and fun as defined by Flappy Bob”

“Guess what I define as fun now? The world being exactly the way it’s supposed to be!”

“Oh Smoof”

“You probably shouldn’t have sent him to law school”

A bit Anti-Climatic but I guess it works in it’s own way.

The Pixies rip up the contract and everything turns back to normal. And to cap it off, Flappy’s Parents pop up!

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

“We looked everywhere there would be clowns”

Eh, I guess that’s why they never came across this dinky town that attracts weird shit in 37 years.

“We even checked the US Congress. It was full of clowns, but none of them were fun!”

It turns out Wanda found his parents, which was easier than it should have been. Also, Cosmo reunites with Wanda and the camp is torn down.

With that, we get our final song, a reprise of Kids just being kids in which they recap the special and celebrate. It includes this line:

“With some control parentally!”

There, it says fun is fun if parents control it instead of just letting you wreck the place. Told you. And when the song ends, so does the special.

And that was School’s Out The Musical. While it was one of the more flawed episodes I’ve featured on here, it’s still really good. The story works pretty well and everything works. The Pixies had a pretty good (if odd) plan, and it ties into the story well. But what really shines is the story of Flappy Bob. His development is very well done, with one of the more complex conflicts on the show.

It also works as a musical, as every song is great, and the songs tell the story well, even the pointless ones. There are a total of 11 songs in a 47 minute special, and they mostly never feel superfluous. By the way, Here’s my ranking:

10. Floating With You
9. UnFundementals
8. Get Flappy
7. The Reprise
6. Ten and in Charge
5. Pull back the Fairies
4. Kids Just Being kids/Rerise
3. Pixie Rap
2. Adults Ruin everything
1. Where is the fun?

While it is flawed, it makes up with those flaws with it’s clever story, great development, and of course, awesome songs. Channel Chaser may be the better of the “classic” specials but this one is still pretty good. Happy Belated Summer!

The Fairly Odd Parents is property of Nickelodeon

Admirable Animation belongs to The Mysterious Mr Enter aka John Enter

School’s Out! The Musical was written by Butch Hartman and Steve Marmel

(I picked this one at random, but mostly because I really like it. I realized some of it’s flaws while doing this, but I think it’s pretty awesome. I used to have the DVD and I would watch it all the damn time. I memorized the songs and the rest of the episode too. Ah, memories)

(What’s next? I have no idea.)

ELSEWORLDS MONTH WILL CONTINUE

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Eleseworlds Month: Animated Atrocities

(My last attempt went south, but hopefully this one doesn’t get eaten. By the way, Mr Enter’s Birthday happens to be coming up so….there’s that)

Elseworlds Month

Universe 721-The Mysterious Mr Enter

This was inevitable. G3 of My Little Pony is a regular customer, and Newborn Cuties aka G3.5 is even more infamous. I had to tackle it eventually, and that time has come. Most of you know about it, but I’ll explain what it is.

While Regular G3 had SOME effort put into it, since it Direct to DVD and had somewhat of a budget, Newborn Cuties was nothing more than a cheap web toon with no budget or effort whatsoever. The fact that I found very little information on this thing, shows just how much they cared.

I don’t like to say something had NO effort into it, as even something like Breadwinners had some level of effort put into it. Even if wasn’t nearly enough. This, however, is the cloest to no effort you’ll ever see. And that fact that it’s an officaly part of MLP history is just…sad.

But enough talking, let’s take a look at Over two Rainbows and see where this failed. It starts with a little trip into some of the worst animation you’ll ever see. Seriously, everything looks so flat and basic. It feels unfinished.

And that’s just the background and general landscape. We see a pony reading a story book and I’m pretty sure she’s dead. Oh wait, the animators just couldn’t afford any actual movements. She tells us the story of when SweetieBelle came to ponyville. Joy.

We see our young ponies as Rainbow Dash is being her fashionable self. It still hurts to say that. After more bad animation, we find out that the ponies mouths don’t move. No, seriously. Their traps are shut the entire time.

They were that fucking lazy. Even the other short managed to mouth their mouths a bit!

“We won’t Rainbow Dash, it’s totally fantablous”

The voice acting sucks too. Like I said, no effort.

Their party is interrupted by an incoming storm, and after more Non-Animation, we see that there is literately no rain at all even though they say they almost got soaked. Seriously, you couldn’t draw a few rain drops?

When the world’s shortest storm ends, the result is two rainbows. No, I won’t make the joke because it’s currently 2014.

“When color and light comes together,….that’s where real magic is born!”

Out from the….you know what, comes a little pony. Wait, what?

“It could be a fairy. Or a dragon”

U R dum.

“It’s a baby!”

You heard that right. Baby ponies are born from rainbows. That….raises so many questions that I won’t get into them. But I do have one: Did I just watch a rainbow sex scene?

“Yeah, Unicorn. But what about my scarf?”

I hate you.

The baby responds by-

horror

KILL IT WITH FIRE!

…Sorry about that.

“I need to get to my totally fantablous scarf”

You just witness new life being born into the world. It’s a bit more important than your fucking scarf!

The baby uses her magic to put Rainbow in a bubble, and she pops her out. There aren’t any sound effects either. Did ANYONE care about this thing?

“Cute, what does cute have to do with anything? She isn’t even supposed to be here”

“How come?”

“She’s a Unicorn, and everypony in Ponyville knows that Unicorns being in Unicornia”

And now we can kind of add “Racist” to the least of reasons this Rainbow Dash sucks.

“I think someone woke up on the wrong side of the crib”

By the way, where are these kids parents?

Rainbow and the baby exchange creepy faces, and they say that Sweetie likes her.

“You know I also like? My scarf”

SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOUR FUCKING SCARF.

Sweetie fixes Rainbow’s scarf, so now she likes her. Glad to know you don’t like people until they benefit you and only you.

“Thank you, Sweetie…Burp?”

“She’s no Sweetie Burp, she’s a Sweetie Belle”

Did I really just hear that?

“She’s our magical Sweetie belle!”

Then Sweetie does her own fashion show, with more Non-Animation.

“Rainbow Dash may have lost the spotlight that day, but she gained something even better. We all did! Our wonderful little Sweetie Belle. The End”

Yes, that’s really the end. The ponies play, Sweetie pops out of a rainbow, she pisses off Rainbow, fixes her scarf, and that’s it. So little happened that I’m just gonna cover the over short to make this review longer. Also, Andrea Libman was Sweetie Belle. Yes, actual actors with actual careers worked on this and said yes to it. What.

So Many Different ways to Play starts out with a tea party hosted by Pinkie Pie. It has the same crappy animation, but as I said before, they actually animate the mouths this time. Apparently this was the first one they did, which means this shit actually got WORSE.

We even have sound effects, except they are so annoying I wish I didn’t bitch about it before. Pinkie’s Mom drops off her friend Cheerlie, who brought her little sister, Scootaloo. Yes, Cheerlie is the same as Pinkie and Scootaloo is her sister. Just roll with it.

“Yay yay, wonderful”

The voice is mostly better but Scootaloo is the exception.

“Would you care to join our most pinkilicous tea party?

This prompts Scootaloo to say “Party” over and over again and jump around like a crazy pony. I hate her already.

They ditch the tea party and bring out a picture book. But Scootaloo ruins that by switching the light on and off.

“On, off!”

She continues to do annoying things, cementing as the worst pony in a sea of awful characters. Seriously, she never shuts the fuck and does nothing by annoy everyone else.

‘From now on, maybe your Mom should buy sugar free oatmeal”

“Aren’t we having fun?”

NO.

They take the tea party outside, which works better because it allows Scotaloo to jump around without actual damaging anything. Unless you count my ears.

“Sometimes doing your own thing can be a lot of fun. But playing together. That’s what it’s all about. The end”

Wait, what? That’s it. Even the first one had SOMETHING happen. This was….NOTHING. Scootaloo came by, she did annoying shit, and they played outside. That’s it! Even normal G3 TRIED to have substance!

By the way, both of these end with the intro in reserve. They were that lazy. And that was all over Newborn Cuties, besides that one special but that’s for another time. It made normal G3 look like Twilight’s Kingdom.

It has NOTHING of substance at all. The animation was almost non existent, the characters were either bland or unlikable, and both stories were incredibly light. I couldn’t decide which was worse. Over Two Rainbows got me angrier, but So Many different ways to Play had even less substance.

It doesn’t matter, because of them had no redeeming value whatsoever. And I don’t hate it because it’s not G4. Even if I disliked Friendship is Magic, I would still hate this pandering, dumb down, piece of pony shit.

This represents everything wrong with cartoons for little girls. Hell, kids in genreal. It was made to amuse little girls and that’s it. There was no effort to do anything even remoetly interesting. I don’t require it to have as much adult appeal as FiM. I just want to talk to kidsat their level. Is that so much to ask?

Thankfully, this kind of crap isn’t made as much anymore. Even those Barbie and Monster High cartoons look like some effort went into them, at least compared to this crap. If you excuse me, I’m gonna try to forgot this ….thing ever fucking existed.

My Little Pony Newborn Cuties is Property of Hasbro

Animated Atrocities is property of The Mysterious Mr Enter aka Jonathan Enter

Over Two Ranbows was written by Jeanne Romano and Bonnie Solomon

So many different ways to play was written by James Faar. It kind of makes sense that the one with less plot had only one writer.

(The anger shown here is a both a combo of my own feelings, and just me trying to say what he would say. I was just gonna cover OTR but it gave me so little that I had to do the other one. By the way, I think the only reasons Enter hasn’t covered this is cuz …..even he has standards? Wait no, he watched Fresh Heir. ….I don’t know then. This thing was pretty bad but eh, still better than Brickleberry.)

(Next time, we stick with Mr Enter, because I gotta cleanse my mind with an Admiration Animation)

ELESEWORLD MONTH WILL CONTINUE

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Eleseworlds Month: Norty (Part 2)

(I just realized that I skipped Mr Enter for the guy that introduced me to him. Weird. Anyway, he has quite a few shows, and I picked the one that tackles bad episode of good kid’s shows. Yay)

Elseworlds Month

Universe 714B-Kids are Smarter than This:

 

I like Wizards of Waverly Place, so you shouldn’t be shocked that I like Pair of Kings.

 

Pair of Kings ran on Disney XD from 2010 to 2012, and it was about two brothers, played by Mitchell Musso and Doc Shaw, that become kings of the Island of Kinkow for reasons I won’t get into.

To help them handle the Island is Mason, the royal advisor, his daughter Mikayla, who Brady has a crush on, and Lanny, their cousin who was going to rule the Island until Boomer and Brady came along. He mostly tries to kill them so he can take over the throne.

You know, for kids!

On the surface, this show looks like your typical Disney Sitcoms, where the leads are assholes and the humor sucks. However, the show is actually kind of decent! The main reason is the Story and character development.

Not only does the Island have an interesting culture that leads to good jokes and world building, but our leads actually grow as the show goes on. In the pilot alone, they try to fix the mess they made and actually prove to be decent rulers.

It’s not just them being assholes. It’s all about them becoming good rulers, even if Boomer is a bit better than Brady. While they can suffer from Aosep Amnesia, they do prove to be likable, and in episodes like Pair of Santas, they do nice things without having to be provoked.

This show impressed me with how good it was at character development. The Season 2 finale is another great showcase for that.

But of course, there has to be a few duds in there that derail all of that. Most people would want me to tackle the Season 3 premiere, where they spit in the face of character development, so they can kick off Mitchel Musso when they should have just ended the show. But honestly, that one isn’t THAT bad, and I give the writers credit for TRYING to salvage this Dead on arrival idea. Besides, it’s not very annoying, unlike the episode we’re discussing today.

Instead, I’m looking at the Season 2 episode No Rhyme or Treason Let’s see what happens when your so called hero suffers Derailment.

The episode starts with Boomer seeing Brady dressed as the king of the ocean. Wait, what?

“Mikalya loves the ocean right? Well I’m dressed as the kind of the ocean, she has to love me. It’s called logic bro. Look it up”

“No, that’s called desperation. Look THAT up”

I love it when the show does my job for me.

 

At least he didn’t do something really stupid like put a live octopus under her pillow-he did, didn’t he? ….We’re only a minute in and already Brady is already starting to lose his likability.

“Why are you always trying to flirt with me? It kind of creeps me out”

Do I even need to be here?

“You’re not the one standing behind him. Those tights are showing off Neptune’s great barrier reef!”

Lovely.

“I didn’t hear you, I was naming our future children” .

..We haven’t even gotten to the theme song yet. This won’t end well.

This causes Mikayla to put her foot down and say if this doesn’t stop, their relationship will be strictly professional. Well, I have my vote for best character in the whole show now.

And then Lanny shows up. Oh good, maybe he can bring some humor to this.

“Ah, the sun’s shining, the birds are singing. I don’t even hate the king’s today!”

And the Octopus lands on his face and he falls down. …Wow, you had to fit in some Unnecessary Cruelty while you were at it? I mean, I know he’s the villain, but he usually deserves it. Here, he’s fine. He didn’t he want to do anything evil! Whatever.

After the theme song, Brady starts hiding from Mikayla because it’s hard not to flirt with her. Or you could take a freaking hint and just not be creepy. Is it that so hard?

“Every time like you feel like blurting out that mental garbage, just bite your lounge.”

MAKAYLA: I got a new dress, what do you think?

Yes, say that to the guy you want NOT to flirt with you. That makes sense!

She follows that up by thanking Brady for not saying anything dumb recently. Oh the irony! She invites them  to a poetry slam, which on Kinkow is very literal. If the Islanders don’t like the poem, they body slam the poet.

…Okay, that’s awesome. I would totally go to that.

We cut to the Slam, which is exactly as she describe. But as a special surprise, she goes up there to recite a poem. The poem sucks but she doesn’t get body slammed because she kicks the slammer guys asses.

Wow, this episode is starting to get good! …Something stupid is gonna happen.

“Ahh, I have no more tongue to bite! You guys see that? My woman just hugged me! …You’re butterfly might be kissing the sky, but mine gives me hugs. Hug me again, Island Girl.”

….And any likability he has left just flew right out the window. So far, he has made no effort to fix his problem, and he won’t take a freaking hint. It’s not funny, it’s annoying….and kind of creepy.

And believe it or not, he gets worse later on. Mikayla body slams him, thank god, and slams him verbally for what he did.

“I told you we wouldn’t be friends if you kept flirting with me. You kept flirting with me, so what does that mean?”

“That….we’re meant to be together”

I hate you.

‘It means we’re no longer friends”

Again, favorite character.

After more Lanny tortue porn, Maykala makes good on her promise and ignores Brady. But she does invite Boomer to the Slam that night.

“Just because you and I aren’t friends, doesn’t mean Boomer and I can’t be”

True, but perhaps inviting your Ex-Friend’s brother to anything in front of him is a bad idea, considering how he is. But yes, you have every right to be friends with Boomer, which is why I am with her as she slams Brady for being a dick about it.

Seriously, at no point in this episode has Brady been the slightest bit likeable. I guess I get what they were trying to do, but none of this is funny so it doesn’t even have Rule of funny working for it.

Boomer, against Brady’s wishes, goes to the slam with Mikayla that night. Sadly, even this goes downhill as the next poet body slammed is an old lady.

“That was close, I did not want to hear the end of that”

Abuse to the Elderly is hilarious, right?

It goes even more downhill when Brady shows up, having figured out they were there. Once again, Boomer and Mikayla slam him with logic and he doesn’t listen.

There is only one fully unlikable character here, and yet that one guy ruins this entire episode.

Since he can’t stop them from being friends, he makes Poetry illegal. Becuase that’s the only place they could possibly hang out, right?

Is there really no way to ban two people from hanging out? Oh wait, Boomer’s also the king, that makes sense. Dang it!

“You know what, bro? You’re gone too far. You’re no longer friends with Mikayla, and now you’re not friends with me.”

This may the first time the character I yell at actually gets what he deserves.

Look, I get that they are making a “Dramatic” story out of this, but it doesn’t work when your hero being a dick is hard to watch. I’m glad people are having the right reaction to his actions, but it doesn’t his actions fun to watch at all. Either make it funny, or do what Adventure Time’s “Frost and Fire” did and give him an excuse for doing what he did. Whatever, let’s move on.

After the commercial, Boomer tells Brady he can’t outlaw poetry with his consent, since they are both kings. And then Brady pulls out a piece of paper, and asks Boomer to sign it, saying it’s an autograph.

And now the Idiot stick has hit Boomer. How sad.

“You have just signed the No Poetry policy into law”

Seriously, how dumb do you have to be to fall for that?

In retaliation Boomer sets up a secret poetry slam in the jungle that night. Secret poetry slam, that’s something I never thought I would see.

Lanny just happens to see this and tells Brady about it. Also, Brady is pretending a Pelican is Makalya. …Moving on.

Back at the slam, Boomer recites a poem of his own which is about Brady.

“Now I’m friends with the girl he misses, while he’s at home getting pelican kisses”

How does he know about that?

“If he would just be her friend, all this would end, cuz I really miss my twin”

Hey, that’s kind of sweet-and Brady shows up to body slam him before he can hear the last part. Goddammit, Brady!

“I almost had the perfect poem, and you ruined it” ‘

I really am shocked that Brady hasn’t been likable for even a second yet. I mean seriously. They attempt to fix that when Brady gets out a poem of his own.

“A heart that wants someone, I know I can’t have. A heart that would rather annoy that girl, then by broken by her.. I apologize for my heart, but it and I can never be apart”

That’s sweet….until you realize he’s trying to justify being a creepy dick. Lanny shows up, and after a line so dumb I won’t even show it, Brady is put under house arrest for what he did.

“I guess I deserve this”

Exactly!

“You know I don’t like Makayla like that.”

“It’s just so easy for you to hang out around her and act cool. Why can’t I do that?”

“Because, you do like her like that”

….Well, this is interesting. Are you saying that there was actually a point to him being so unlikable? This whole time, he had to be a dick as part of his development? That’s….impressive.

Most of the time a bad episode has no excuse for being bad, but this kind of does. I have to give them credit. This almost kind of works. But I’ll get into why this really doesn’t at the end.

Brady talks to Mikayla outside. She has him eat frozen yogurt, to make sure he doesn’t say anything stupid during her following speech. Keep that in mind.

“I miss having you as a friend. I think deep down, you’re a really great guy. I mean deep deep down. We’re talking China deep.”

You think that bit ruined it? After she leaves, Brady spits out his Fro Yo, as he has Brain Freeze.

“I didn’t hear a word she said”

….Wow. Just wow. You had an excuse for the character derailment, but you flush it all away with this. Not only does she screw up her apology, but saying he’s only a good guy really deep down, but he doesn’t hear anything she says.

Way to screw it all up, guys. Bravo.

And after more Lanny torture, including a bad CGI octopus, the episode ends. This episode was pretty weak.

While it has it’s amusing moments, and I see what they were trying to do with, it just doesn’t work. While Brady’s crush can be annoying and creepy at times, he’s never been THIS much of an unlikable prick.

He never takes a hint, he keeps doing what he’s doing, he bans poetry just to stop Boomer from hanging out with Mikayla and he’s just unlikable all the way through. That’s the biggest issue I have with the episode.

I can take some of the dumber jokes and the Lanny Torture porn, but I can’t tolerate Brady here. The worst is the ending.

It seems like him being a dick was just part of the show’s usual good development. It’s like they were using the show’s strength to fix a weakness, but that all goes downhill when Maykla flat out says he’s only a good guy really deep down, and he doesn’t even what she said.

Yes, he doesn’t do anything too bad, and it’s kind of her fault, but the fact that she did that to stop him from being creepy is kind of telling. There’s nothing worse than an episode, or anything, that ruins whatever praise I had with the ending.

Overall, it doesn’t quite get to me as much as it should, (probably because annoying things get less annoying on a third viewing), but thanks to some major derailment and that ending, it’s a stupid episode you should all skip.

But, if you can tolerate Disney Sitcom stuff, I recommend the rest of the series. Even the 3rd season. It’s on Netflix Instant if you’re curious.

Thank you all for watch-er…reading, and I will see you all next time. Bye.

Kids are Smarter than This belongs to Kyle Northup

(This one was fun to do.  I picked this episode at random, and because I feel more strongly about show it belongs to than the other candidates I had. And yes, I have seen it 3 times now. 1st time was when I watching the show for my Disney XD thing. 2nd was for this month awhile ago, and of course 3rd was for the review just now. As a side note, this makes The New King worse, as Brady just leaves after she hints she doesn’t like him, where he won’t leave her alone. Whatever, this is still the worse episode.)

(Next, I give Animated Atrocities another shot. Don’t worry, it’s not Brickleberry. But it’s still kind of awful)

ELSEWORDS MONTH WILL CONTINUE

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Elseworlds Month: Norty (Part 1)

(The next Elseworlds Month was gonna be an Animated Atrocities on Brickleberry but the ASCII monster ate it. I had to watch the pilot twice to do the review. I watched a Bricklberry episode twice for nothing. Fuck. …Anyway, instead, have a reviewer none of you have heard of. Look him up, I’m doing him twice for a reason)

Elseworlds Month

Universe 714-Norty Defends

HI INTERNET!

And Welcome to Norty Defends. …Sometimes I hate using the reviewer I’m covering’s opening phrase. Anyway, today we’re defending a film from a reviewer a lot of you have never heard of. Then again, if you’re desperate enough to watch me, you must have looked through every other reviewer already.

Anyway, I’m talking about fightingleaf, creator of “You’re Gonna Regret: Children’s Movie reviwers”. Nowadays he does reviews as himself, but this is the show he became known for. It stars a boring Ninja dude and an annoying wolf puppet. No seriously, these are the hosts. This could either be good or bad.

It’s….neither. The problem with him is that these two extreme don’t really work. You either have to face bland-ness or obnixious-ness. You don’t want either. On top of that, they pick pretty easy targets. Cars 2, Alvin and the Chipmunks, The Smurfs, that kind of stuff. Of course, that doesn’t make him bad, it just makes him….typical. In a weird way.

He can be pretty entertaining at times, but other times he’s very annoying. Not to mention that he seems more interested in making dumb jokes than giving us actual reviews. And before anyone says anything, at least Nostalgia Critic and others, have more to them.

There’s nothing wrong with that, but it does bug me sometimes. Thankfully, his choices tend to make sense…..except the one we’re talking about today. And that film he chose to rip into is….The Spongebob SquarePants Movie.

Now, The Spongebob Movie isn’t a cinematic masterpiece by any stretch, but I think it’s a solid family flick that represents the show well. Insert Post Movie slam here. It’s just an choice, since most people like it. Of course, it’s fine if he hates it, as long as he gives good reasons and make it enjoyable for the films fans.

If that was true, I wouldn’t be here right now. So let’s look at his review of The Spongebob SquarePants Movie, and see who fails in a….house…over the …sea. ….Just start it.

The review starts with some stuff, and then we get his intro….which was made by Brental Floss. Okay, that’s awesome. Credit where credit is due. After that, it turns the review will have some other guy too. I don’t know, I don’t watch his stuff often.

As you know, the film opens with live action pirates finding treasure.

“It’s full of tickets to a film we’re already watching”

“I imagine this was include to prevent the auidence from walking out too early”

….I don’t get it.

“It’s like saying “oh the pirates, like this movie, so will you!”

….Really? That’s what you’re going with? If you’re gonna bitch about something, nitpick the fact that they have like 8 tickets and about 20 pirates. I don’t know, something that makes sense!

“Those aren’t even enough tickets”

….You win this round.

“What are tickets for a new movie doing in a treasure chest?”

That’s the joke.

After the movie proper starts, he gets to the bit where Mr Krabs says he’s wiaitng for the manager.

“Shouldn’t he already be there if he’s the manager?”

Hey, a good point! Glad you could do it.

After the (Spoilers) dream ends, Spongebob does stuff, the guys make some okay points but all that is covered up in the main issue I poitned out before. The main guy is just too bland for my tastes, and that wolf puppet never shuts up. It’s hard to take any of points seriously when we have this to listen to.

They bitch about the Goofy Goober song, yet this is fine. Whatever. He moves to the moment of truth where Mr K announces the manager of the Krusty Krab 2. Spoilers, it’s Squidward, not Spongebob

‘Because he’s just a kid. A kid whose been working for him for 30 years and is a bigger manchild than Toby Sevile from the Squeakuel!”

You ALMOST made a good point until the end. Mr K picking Squidward makes no sense, but it looks like Mr Leaf is more interested in referencing other reviews he did to make a decent point.

Anyway, Plankton visits King Neptune.

“Cuz, that’s the only underwater names the writers could think of using”

Did you expect them to use anything else? Neptune (Or Poseidon if the prefer) is kind fhe god of the Sea. It makes perfect sense to make him the ruler. If it means making him a King and confusing the fans of the show.

“Not ot be confused with Neptune the god in the show”

Oh hey, he pointed it out. And he gets that they are two different characters! Nice.

So Plankton steals the King’s crown, and the reviews moves on to Spongebob at the Goofy Goober nut bar where SB and Patrick get drunk on Ice Cream. Yes, for all you who have yet to see the film, they get drunk. At least our reviewers doesn’t make the obvious joke here. SO, SB and Pat go on a binge.

“All this is trying to do is make funny noises in the hopes that it somehow becomes funny”

Eh, that’s almost a good point, but not quite. The joke is that they are going through Ice Cream like mad, and getting drunk. It’s not just noises, a lot of the Comedy here simply focuses on the absurdity of it all. Plus, the deadpan waiter.

“Why do I always get the nuts?”

Close, but no cigar.

After stuff you know about, even if you haven’t seen the movie SB and Pat head off on their epic quest to get Neptune’s Crown, and they just keep bitching about the film being annoying rather than saying anything interesting.

“It’s dumb and a waste time, much like the rest of this movie”

And this review. …Come on, I had to.

SB and Pat end up in the bathroom of a Thug Guy bear (Don’t ask), and after yet more bitching, he gets to that bit where Squidward tells Plankton he knows of his plan.

“Why did he tell him instead of Neptune, the ruler of the land?”

Another good point! And that’s the main problem with this review. He has decent points at times, but he seems to prefer bitching and nitpicking. A lot of them, he bitches about stuff that is the JOKE. He doesn’t have to find it funny, but he also doesn’t have to take it so seriously.

But whatever, let’s move on. SB and Pat end up singing about being men in a trench. I’m skipping a lot because most of the review just has them bitching instead of reviewing. I feel like i’m covering the movie more than the review. Then again, their review also contains too much explaining at some points, and when they break for a joke, it’s just more screaming. They bitch about the film’s noise, but that’s all these guys contribute to the review!
After a meeting with Alec Baldwin’s best role, the heroes are taken by a diver. They say that the cyblops being a driver is one of the few things in the film that makes sense. Oh, I’m sorry your movie about a talking Sponge lacks logic.

SB and Pat are taken to his evil land gift shop, where they are put under a hot lamp. For some reason, our reviewer skips over the segment where they accept death because they find out the crown is here, meaning they achieved their goal which no one thought they would do, which is all that matters to them.

…Yes. Why did they skip over the proof that this film is more mature than they give it credit for? Probably to convince their viewers the film is worse than it is. I mean, you think they would at least mention the crown being there. Instead, they bitch about their tears bringing them back to life.

…Okay, that was kind of stupid.

Then they rush through the rest of the film. Wait, what? That makes sense when other reviews do it, but not here. There’s quite a bit to dicuss and instead they just go through everything for no reason.

Granted, it’s not to heartbreaking to skip over the return of Denis and all that, but no lingering on DAVID HASSELHOFF? Come on! Hell, he even skims through Goofy Goober rock! Seriously, your not even gonna bitch about the blatant Deus ex machina? You may as well do that at this point.

Not to mention that none of that will make sense to your reviewers that haven’t seen the film. In some cases, skipping stuff is fine but perhaps explaining the …interesting SB saves the day is necessary. Just saying.

“SpongeBob gets to be the manager, which is never mentioned in the show ever again-”

I can let this slide cuz not everyone looks up this stuff, but if you did research ,you would know the film takes place after everything in the show. Just saying.

Anyway, they end the summary of the film.

“This is the part of the review where I tell you what’s wrong with this movie”

This is the part of the review where I explain the obvious.

“it relied too heavily on lowest common denominator humor”

Eh, fair enough.

“It felt like the authors weren’t even trying to be clever”

I don’t know, there’s more than just dumb gags. As I explained before, there’s more to the humor than noise. Besides, you don’t need high class humor to be funny.

His other points make a bit more sense, besides saying they talk about the message too much. Even though they only mention it when it’s needed, and it fits in the story and it’s not intrusive at all.

He says his issue with the franchise as a whole is SpongeBob himself cuz he’s annoying. Eh, fair enough. As the Sponge himself said, we all can’t like the same things.

And that’s the end of the review. Eh, that’s as much detail as a review like this needs.

This review was very…uneven. It’s not as bad as I originally thought it was, but it could have been better. Sometimes, he has decent points and I’m okay with him finding the film annoying, cuz all humor is subjective. However, a lot of the review just has him bitching instead of making said points. Here’s that side of the review in a nutshell..

“THIS IS ANNOYING. NOW WATCH ME BE EVEN MORE ANNOYING”

I don’t expect anything in depth given his style, but more of the good points would be nice. Also, at times his complaints are nitpicky, and it seems like he’s missing the point. I skipped some of that as it’s part of the bitching. I think the bit about the chest of tickets was enough.

Also, did I mention the wolf thing is annoying? He has his moments but most of the time he just screams. Yet he bitches about the films noise. Wow. Anyway, the review wasn’t the worst, as I see where he’s coming from a tad, which is more than I can say for other reviewers on the same budget.

However, it has too much annoyance and bitching to make it good. This tends to plague his reviews but it’s worse here. He’s not bad, but I’m glad he’s doing reviews without the wolf thing now.

So yeah, check out his other reviews if he seems appealing, but given the amount of dislikes, this review ain’t anyone’s cup of tea. Just search “You’re gonna regret it Spongebob movie” on YouTube to see the review if you’re curious at all.

But hey, it’s the only Spongebob Movie discussion of any kind without a post movie slam. That’s something.

….I wish he had a closing catchphrase.

Norty Defends belongs to Kyle Northup.

You’re Gonna Regret it Belongs to fightleaf, cuz I’m too lazy to look up his real name.

(This one was done in one sitting. Way easier than I expected it to be. I guess it makes up for the week I spent sitting on a review that got trashed. Next time, it’s more Norty but this time, it’s a different show of his. …BY the way, I’m still bitter about the Brickleberry thing. )

ELSEWORLDS MONTH SHALL CONTINUE

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Eleseworlds Month: Atop the 4th Wall

(Warning, the following post contains more ponies)

ELSEWORLDS MONTH

UNIVERSE 345-A: Atop the Fourth wall.

Hello, and welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn. There are a few subjects I get asked about often, mostly a movie or TV show that my fans want me to like or hate because my opinion validates them, I guess.

One of those subjects, is My Little Pony: Friendship is magic. This isn’t too shocking for many reasons. One of them being that I’ve….referenced the show on a few occasions. I once even pulled a pony comic from out of nowhere with my Man powers!

That happens way too often. Anyway, my stance on the show? It’s a thing people like that isn’t my thing, but I respect the it as a whole. While I, like many others, shake my head at certain parts of the fandom, I have to respect them….mostly because many of those fans are also fans of me, and I don’t want to lose half my fanbase. Again.

And since it’s a popular thing people like it, it’s only logical that they would make a comic series out of it! Two, well, three series to be exact. Published by IDW,this comic series proved to be so popular that they made a series out of sister show, Littlest Pet Shop. But that one has has nothing really notable in it.
10349818_732430900128624_647730076_a

….Nope, nothing.

There’s the Main series that consist a bunch of one off story arcs that started out spanning 4 issues, but reduced to two. Then we have the Micro Series, where each Issue focuses on a different character from the series.

There’s also another series that is like the Micro series, with two characters instead off just one. I figured I would review one of these comics, but I wasn’t sure which series, or comic to go with. I eventually picked one from the Micro series for a few reasons.

For one, I don’t want to waste your time with 4 or two issue arcs about Ponies and fans are mixed on the Micro serties, which means there’s a good chance I’ll pick a bad one. And really, aren’t bad comics much more fun?

….Well not for me, but I digress. From what I could gather, the one fans seem to dislike the most is the Fourth Issue, which focuses on Fluttershy. Can you guess what her trait is?

I never said the show was subtle.

So we’ll see just what gets the fans underpants in a bunch. Let’s dig into My Little Pony Micro Series #4, and see if it’s worthy any fuss.


Welecome to Atop the Fourth Wall

where bad comics burn

Linkara’s gonna teach you all

a lesson you won’t learn.

Brodsky, you’re not the smartest.

Leifeld, you’re not an artist.

If anyone’s had a bad comic published,

it could be your turn.

Linkara!

He is a man! Punch!

Wears a purdy hat.

Linkara!

He has a magic gun

Where’d he purchase that?

Linkara!

Coins, robots, Amazons, and trucks.

Linkara!

This. Comic. Sucks.

Linkara!

fluttershy

The cover is fine. We have a Fluttershy with some woodland critters. It’s decent enough, giving a taste of what the character isl ike. Granted, it has nothing to do with the plot of the comic itself, but that’s fine. Not much else to say here.

The comic opens with Fluttershy, and her bunny Angel, going out to visit her woodland friends. She stops in her tracks when she sees a flier for an Extreme art contest.

….It’s too easy at this point.

She quickly takes the flier and runs back to her house before anyone can see here. Kind of convenient that no one happened to outside, but whatever.

“I would so mortified if anypony knew what I’ve hiding downstairs in my secret room…or even that I have a secret room! Just imagine if they knew the truth..”

If you are expecting a Cupcakes joke, you can go back now. If you odn’t know what this is….good.

“What I do here in my ….CHAMBER OF EXTREME KNITTING!”

Again with the EXTREEEME!11!? I didn’t expect me to use that gag while reviewing a My Little Comic, I’ll be honest.

“I’ve also considered calling it THE PALACE OF FRIENDLY PONY GROTESQUERIES! But I thought might be a bit too much”

Okay, that was funny. But what hell are “Grotesqueries”? Comments section, get on that.

It turns out Fluttershy knits incredibly artic….thingys, and she wants her to one in Celestia’s EXTREME art contest. But of course she’s afraid of what everyone will think of her art. From what I’ve said, I doubt your friends would shoot down your art crulely, but this conflict is fine, so I’ll let it slide.

“You’re right Angel, so what? I’ll do it!”

Well, that was quick. It’s like that bit was pointless or something!

So she enters the EXTREME art contest, in disguise. She plans to entire this HUGE sculpture that somehow hit over a small tarp without anyone seeing it.

“I hope Princess Celestia will appreciate the symbolism inherent in the chaotic juxtaposition of my cutie mark melded into a transformative serial m representing the process of personal maturation as experienced by an introvert to artisan!”

“???”

“I mean I hope she likes my art because it’s about me learning to be brave”

Okay, that was also funny. Though as an Adult, even I couldn’t understand half of that.

Fluttershy spots stereotypical art critic Praiser Pan (eh, that’s kind of clever), who is about as pretentious of a critic as….well me.

Naturally, Fluttershy is afraid of his wraith. A fear which is….founded.

“This isn’t art, this is cr-”

“Ahh!”

“Craft!”

You know-for kids!

Fluttershy tries to just keep her identity as the artist under wraps, but Rarity, who happens to there, instantly recognizes her voice. Wow, the paper thing disguise actually doesn’t turn the other characters into idiots? I’m impressed.

Rarity, the great and respectful friend that she is, takes Fluttershy’s disguise off and reveals her to everyone. Needless to say, the critics are not kind.

‘Uninteresting!”

‘Dull!”

‘Unfashionable!”

You have to wonder how such jerks get to be respected as professional critics. Well, besides bribes. …Which I know absolutely nothing about.

Naturally, this doesn’t please Fluttershy and now she wants to quit art forerver. I’d complain about that…but it seems like it’s in character for her so….you win this round, My Little Pony.

“I’m worthless and my work is awful!”

I’ll never be as popular as the Bee Gees!

Fluttershy is about to destroy her work, but she decides to stand up for her piece. But she doesn’t really need to, because Princess Celestia shows up and says she likes it. This causes Praiser to change his mind about the piece.

What, is Celestia going to smite anyone who disagrees with her or something? …Or he’s just a weakling. I think that’s the point. You win THIS round, My Little Pony.

“They’re saying nice things. They like it!”

…Only because their supreme leader likes it. That’s not exactly better. Well okay, one pony still dislikes it. Guess she’s not afraid of supreme lord Celestia.

“There are always critics my dear”

So kids, if you make something, it’s amazing and anyone who doesn’t like it is a snobby critic! But if they change their minds, it’s just so they won’t get smiten by their ruler!

…What’s the lesson, again?

Fluttershy wins the EXTREME art contest and so our comic ends with Fluttershy giving us our moral.

“That’s how I learned that you should never let your fear of being criticized stop you from expressing yourself through art! Especially if you have terrific friends to help you do it! Even though I suspect they do not truly understand the artitics impulse that drives me. Which makes them even more terrifc!”

Eh, that’s a bit better. But it doesn’t change the fact that the only pony you could really trust is Celestia. Your friends probably like everything you do, and those critics only change their minds out of fear!

A bit of a mixed message, just saying.

This comic …..is okay. The artwork is decent, the premise is somewhat promosing, and I kind of see where they were goring with the moral. But at the same time, they kind of a botched it. While the ultimate message, don’t let criticism bug you, is nice, the way it’s written is kind of off.

As I said before, there was only person who liked it that Fluttershy could trust, as the others were her friends, and critics who only changed their minds out of fear. On top of that, every single pony who disliked it was a snooty critic.

Maybe if some critics liked or, or some provided constructive criticism, maybe the comic would have worked better, but as it is, it’s a little muddled. It’s not bad, as it somewhat enjoyable in some parts, but it’s a bit light, and what’s there is a bit off.

I don’t hate the comic as much as some seem too, but it’s not too great either. However, I do recommend the main series as it’s show accurate and actually pretty solid. I don’t know what the other micro series books are like, but this one is…Okay.

….It’s times like this where I wish I had a sign off phrase.

My Little Pony Micro Series is Property of IDW/Hasbro

Atop the Fourth Wall is property of Lewis Lovhaug (Hope I spelled that right) and Inked Reality.

(This one was a tad hard to make, cuz I don’t exactly have the comedy timing that Lewis does, and I was forced to nitpick a bit at some points. If I did this as me, I would discuss show faithful ness a bit more and all that. Ah well, this turned out okay.)

ELSEWORLDS MONTH SHALL CONTINUE ….SOON-ISH

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Elseworlds Month: Nostalgia Critic

PREVIOUSLY ON SPONGEY444

Weird shit happened.

Spongey didn’t know about the weird-ness he was about to unleashed. Join us now as we enter a dimension not of sight or sound, but loss of creativity. You have entered ELSEWORLD’S MONTH!

UNIVERSE 654-A: Nostalgia Critic

Hello, I’m the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don’t have to.

Let me try something: My Little Pony. …Chances are, you either exploded with excitement, or with anger. Either way, no one blames you. I’m pretty sure you’ll all familiar with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, the series that launched a billion idiots. Idiots who love it, and idiots who hate it.

Now, I know the idea of someone enjoying a show targeted at a younger audience is nothing new, but this series took it to the next level. I personally, don’t care how you feel about it, as long as you’re an asshole about it.

And really, not being an asshole is a universal concept.

But there is one thing that both Bronies and Haters love to bash: The earlier generations. And really, who can blame them? From day 1, My Little Pony was just a cheap cartoon made to sell toys. The franchise had many downs and ….less terrible downs, before the current series came along.

I’m sure you all want me to suffer through G3, you suck fucks that you are. But I thought it would be interesting to back to the very beginning. And by that, I mean I’m reviewing the very first My Little Pony special ever made.

So Bronies, Anti-Bronies, and people who don’t a give shit either way, let’s see how this girly toy commercial got it’s start.

This, is Rescue at Midnight Castle

The special starts with that diabetes inducing theme you all had in your head, whether you liked it or not. We get everything you remember: Girl colors, girly ponies, and girly cheap animation.

“Look out Twilight, here I go!”

Look out, before Hunger Games steals your popularity because it’s 100000 times better!

We see some ponies doing pony things, as one named Firefly does a dangerous stunt that gets some poor apples injured.

“Applesuace anyone?”

Hahahaha.

My Little Pony was filmed in front of a captive studio audience.

The equines fun is interrupted by these creatures called Stratadons, which look way too badass for this show. This evil winged guy uses them to steal one of the ponies, and Firefly goes after them.

The other ponies react by yelling obviously.

“No! Come back! It’s too dangerous! Come back! Come back1”

Screaming at the top of your lungs in an annoying voice will surly help in this situtation!

After making the brilliant decision to introduce conflict with little to no introduction, the special cuts to Midnight Castle, as we our villain, Tirac. And to be honest, he’s pretty awesome.

I’m serious. He’s in the shadows for the time being, he has an imposing presence, and a freaking awesome voice.

“I need 4 Ponies for my chariot. Not one, not two, not three. Four!”

This guy has gotten somewhat of a following for being way too badass for My Little Pony, nad it’s very well deserved. Granted, I have no idea why he wanted ponies for a chariot, but I bet the reasoning will make perfect sense.

After Dr Claw here is done talking, we cut to our obligatory human sugurate character, Megan, as she discovers Firefly.

“A talking pony?!”

That’s even weirder than A Talking Cat!?!

“I can fly too!”

…Good to know?

“Slow down!”

My sentiments exactly. Seriously, I don’t understand anything right now. Is this human in a different world? How did we get here? If this is still Pony land, what sense does that make? Why is there a human in pony land? Is there after the Apocalypse where ponies have taken over the world?

…Actually, that would be kind of awesome. But either, Megan, of course, doesn’t ask any questions and just rolls with it.

“Hop on”’

Yes, hop on the talking pony you barely know. That’s a great idea!

After kidnapping an innocent kid, Firefly starts singing. Because dammit, we get paid extra for every crappy song we shit out. Okay, the song isn’t THAT bad, but it’s nothing special either. After that pointless detour, Firefly takes Megan back home to help.

No one questions the strange fleshy being standing before them, mostly because you don’t have time to ask questions when Stratadons are attacking. More ponies are kidnapped, thanks to our ineffectual heroes and they are taken to Tirac.

Tirac reveals himself, and he looks pretty cool. He has this whole centaur thing going on, which raises a lot of questions, but he’s too awesome to obey logic.

“Behold, the power of Darnkess!”

He sucks one pony into a bag, because she’s too small to pull the chariot.

“They belong to me now…and Scorpcan. If I don’t have a 4th pony, a head will roll!”

….You sure this is My Little Pony? Sure he didn’t accidentally get lost on his way to He-Man or something? I mean seriously, what is this guy doing here? Everything him is bland and saccharine and he’s….well he’s not saccharine, that’s for sure.

Back with our heroes, they are on their way to Midnight Castle when a pony named Applejack falls into the water, forcing Megan to save her. And then…we meet the Seaponies.

Yeah, remember these guys? They somehow see Megan and AJ right away, they sing a song, they save them and they leave.

…Fine.

BIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT!

Seriously, what was up with that? They come and go so quickly, you barely have time to question it! This whole scene barely lasts two minutes! It’s like a drive by rescue. What is every rescue happened like that?

INSERT SKIT I’M TOO LAZY TOO WRITE HERE

It would be like that!

After …that, our heroes visit a mushroom village to meet a wizard gnome…troll….thing. And once again, no one questions anything. Seriously, will this special ever explain anything?

He explains that they have to steal Tirac’s Rainbow of Darkness which gives him his power. If you guessed that it isn’t explained either, Congratulations, you win nothing. Mr Moonchick (or whatever his name) is says they need a rainbow a light, so they go inside his house to find one.

This leads to yet ANOTHER song. Seriously, why do they feel the need to cram a song into every scene? At least this one has a point to it, and honestly, it is kind of catchy. After that bit of pointless-ness, his rabbit finds a piece of rainbow. Because….why not?

“It’s better than nothing!”

The ponies make it to Midnight Castle, and in a desperate attempt to shoot down my earlier claim, they call on the Sea Ponies. At least the song was still pointless. Back with our villains. Scropan turns on Tirac and rescues the ponies because….reasons. Can you say weakest face heel turn ever?

While that’s going on, our heroes get into the castle only to bump into Centaur Mcawesome here. Scropcan shows up to rescue them and we get a chase scene. It seems like it’s too late as Tirac ascends into the sky with his chariot to bring about never ending night.

You know, the whole “Never ending night thing” never made sense to me. How does that help you besides preventing the happy sun from coming up? Besides, wouldn’t that screw up the Earth’s rotation somehow and thus bringing you more bad than good? I’m no Astronomer but I’m pretty sure that would mess up something.

Anyway, Scorpan tries to stop him and….he gets his ass handed to him. Insert Shoulder Shrug and Wah wah sound here.

Naturally, the bland human and flying pony are here to stop the evil guy instead the..other evil guy. They get the rainbow of Darkness (which looks nothing like a rainbow) and play Monkey in the middle with it but Tirac gets it. But thankfully, thanks to the gnome wizard…thing, they have the POWER OF PLOT CONVENIENCE!

Defying all logic, a tiny of piece rainbow completely owns the big Dark rainbow, and the power of good engulfs Tirac. And with that, he is defeated and happiness is brought back to Pony land and blah blah blah.

Also, it turns out Scropan is a human prince. ….Wait, what?

“Tirac turned me into Scropan when he took over my kindgdom”

That…would have nice to know. Maybe we could have built a better story around this instead of hastily putting this in at the last minute. No? Okay then.

And…it just kind of ends. No wrap up, no lesson. Nothing. …Whatever, I’ll just assume Spike killed them all.

So that was Rescue at Midnight Castle and it was….exactly what you would expect. The story is incredibly basic, the characters are as interesting as sand aper, and the pacing is just crap. You aren’t given any time to care about whats going on, and the entire just goes by way too way fast.

But….it’s not the worst thing ever. There’s nothing really offensive about it, and it’s relativity harmless for the target audience. Not to mention that AWESOME villain. Sure, his plan is lame and all that, but he’s still better than this thing deserves.

Overall, this special is lame but it’s harmless and even kind of fun to riff on. A far cry from the current version, but it’s also a far cry from Generation 3. Now that is some horffying stuff.

horror

KILL IT WITH FIRE!

….I’m the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don’t have to.

One dimension down, many to go. See what other horrors you shall see. Next time on ELSEWORLDS MONTH!

Nostalgia Critic belongs to Doug Walker/Channel Awesome.

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Transformers Prime Beast Hunters: Predacons Rising

Okay, cross the red wire with the blue thing, and put the dohickey in the weird thing and-

Oh, didn’t…see you….reading this….from here. Somehow. I was working on…a thing. ….Look, a thing!

Hello, Spongey here.

So, we’re getting entry in Micheal Bay’s Transformers franchise. Sure, it has Marky Mark, Dinobots, and Not Karata from Last Airbender, but it’s sure to be the same film yet again. But it doesn’t have Sam’s parents, so it’s already the best movie ever made.

But of course, we’re not talking about that today. No, we’re talking about some GOOD Transformers! We shall be looking at a 2013 film based on popular Hub Network reboot series.

….

….No, not that one.

When it comes to Transfomers shows,, I’m only vaguely familiar with the original and 2010′s Transformers Prime. I’m sure I’ll get hate for that, but there you go. With The Hub came some original shows, most of which were attempts to revive old brands.

Besides you know what, they resurrected Transformers with Prime. It was meant to be a fresh, basic start instead of some of the more ambitious revivals. I’ve heard some people critize the show as Basic compared to Beast Wars and the like. Well, I haven’t seen the other shows so I can’t really say.

However, I can defend the series, as it’s meant to be a fresh start, so course it’s gonna be basic. And it only starts out basic. By the third Season, it’s a pretty different beast together. Describing the series is diffuclt, so I’ll end up saying everything in the review proper.

Basicly, it’s the stuff you know. These two races of Robots waged a war, their planet blue up, and now they are fighting on Earth. Here, they have some human companions to help out. There’s Jack, voiced by Josh Keaton, the normal one that some call generic. There’s Rafeel, the nerdy one, and Miko, the wacky one that fans hate.

They’re big ally is some government dude voiced by Ernie Hudson. Yes, really. I just wanted to mention him. I’ll explain some of the robots in the film proper. I explained the humans cuz they are not in the movie.

….Wait….a Transformers movie…..with no humans.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!

Seriously, how idd it take this long for them to get it right? Granted, the humans worked well in the series cuz the humans were likely and they never overshadowed the robots. But still, it’s amazing that they finally got rid of the damn humans.

Anyway, let’s set up the movie. It’s the final movie, so this will be SPOILERS for the show, if you haven’t seen it.

Through some events too complicated to get into, Megatron is killed (MAKING FAMILY FUN), Bumblebee gets his voice back (and he sounds like Ron Stoppable, who knew?), Cybertron is brought back to it’s former glory, and the robots move there to do some clean up.

And that’s where we are. Also, there are these robots called Predacons and I think this movie involves Predaking, based on the title. I actually haven’t watch the film yet, so this should be fun.

Will it be another dumb entry in this long running franchise, or will it be more than meets the eye? Let’s find out!

This, is Transformers Prime Beast Hunters: Predacons Rising

I think there’s unwritten role that every Transformers movie must open with Optimus narrating, cuz that’s how this movie opens. Optimus (Peter Cullen) tells us that Cybertron has finally been restored. It turns out he’s saying this to his buddies.

These buddies Bulkhead, the big one, voiced by Kevin Micheal Richardson, and Arcee, the female one. They are here to acknowledge Bubblebee’s bravery in getting rid of Megatron (Frank Welker).

But of course, we cut to Megatron’s dead body on the ocena floor. Suddenly, Megatron wakes up and he is face to face with Unicorn. After the show’s intro (They were too lazy to make a new one, I guess), Unicorn explains that Megatron cannot become “one with the All spark” cuz his blood once flowed through his veins.

Don’t ask, it’s a long story. Unicorn is this big badass dude, and you may know him from the 80′s movie where he was voiced by Orson Welles. Yes. Unicorn was banishing to the Earth’s core, but through some stuff too complicated to summarize, he’s here talking to Megatron.

Unicorn wants to come back but he can only do that with the help of Megatron. By that I mean he will posses his body. Wah wah.

Back on Cybertron, everyone is happy for Bumblebee, but Optimus announces that he must retrieve the All Spark to make it so life can be MADE on Cybertron again. He must go alone while the other say home to clean things up. Also, another robot is Ultra Magnus, voiced by Micheal Ironside. First Haunting Hour, now this.

Back with the bad guys, Unicorn explains to Megatron that he will rule nothing and Unicorn is in charge. He plans to destroy Cybertron and take over the world or something. Back on Cybertron, they have captured 0one of Megatron’s lackets,Knockout, voiced by Daran Noriss. Yes, Gordy/Cosmo is a bad guy in this. After a bit with him, Ultra Magnus and some other guy find two Predacons looking to cause trouble.

This leads to a cool fight scene, which is a perfect time for me to discuss the animation. It’s the same as the show, so it didn’t really get an upgrade for the film, but it’s decent CG. It still kind of looks Video Game-ish, but with the humans gone, the weakest aspect of the animation is gone.

The robots look cool and unlike the live action movie, you can tell them apart. I wish that they had a film budget to make it look better (Seriously, Equestrian Girls got a limited release, but this didn’t?) but as it is, it’s decent.

Anyway, Ultra Magnus gets hurt and they take him to their medic, Ratchet, voiced by Jeffery Combs. He actually might be my favorite character in the show, due to the rather interesting development he gets. But we’ll see if we get that here.

They go looking for those Predacons, and they bump into Predaking. They calm him down so they ask him if there are more Predacons on the planet. He says there is….but they are extinct and dead behind him. It turns out he doesn’t know about the two Predacons they found.

They ask him to help them out and prove that more than one race can exist on Cybertron. He….doesn’t go for it. It’s an even longer story, don’t ask.

We find out exactly what is up with the Predacons. They are clones made by Shockwave, one of Megatron’s goons. They escaped after the events of the finale, and I guess they are under Cybertron doing this to make an army to take over Cybertron. The other goon is Starscream, voiced by Steve Blum. He’s cool.

Back with our heroes, they are approached by Megatron. Well, Unicorn as Megatron, I mean. This leads to another good fight scene, as Unicorn clearly has the upper hand. They escape but they end up dangling over a volcano. Wah wah.

As a side note, you know a movie is good when you just watch it, forgetting you have some typing to do.

They eventually get a ground bridge (and by that I mean portal) to their base. Unicorn is pissed that he has lost this round, so now he needs something bigger. The Autobots contact Optimus and tell him what has happened, and they get into a big speech about Unicorns plan to destroy the core of Cybertron and all that.

This is another case I don’t have anything funny to say during the recap. There isn’t much to really say, but let’s move on.

Meanwhile, Unicorn visits Predaking, who refuses to team up with our villains. Also, Megatron gets pissy at Unicorn cuz he doesn’t like being his slave, and he gets ass whopped for saying that. There’s a really obvious joke in there.

This leads to a fight scene, and Predaking loses. Unicorn searches through his mind and he figures out what he must do. Uniitron visits Starscream, who is happy to see him. He immediately starts sucking his dick, right before Unicorn lets his presence be known.

After some stuff, Unitron unleashes his power to create something called “Terrorcons”. He creates them using old Predacon bones.. Which means..

‘He’s raising an undead army!”

This is officially the best movie ever made. This isn’t even the first time we’ve seen Zombie Robots. I love this show!

So yeah, he plans to use his Zombie Robots to destroy Cybertron. That is an amazing sentence. The autobots blast off in a ship to go save the day, but Starscream shows up and takes it over.

By the way, speaking of awesome things, one of the Predacon guys from earlier is named Darksteel. DARK. STEEL.

An epic fight ensues, and Knockout…well knocks out Starscream.

“Now do you believe I’m on the winning team?”

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

So now Knockout is on their team (cuz Starscream is a jerk) and we cut to Unicorn, with a music piece that sounds suspiciously similar to the Unicorn theme from the 80′s movie. Hmmm….

After more stuff, The autobots, with some predacons now on their side, try to stop the bad guys from getting to the core. This leads to an amazingly epic battle scene with awesome music. Optimus finally shows up with the all spark but he has to keep it out of Unitron’s reach.

Optimus jumps down to the ground and they fight. Sadly, it’s a short fight as the others use Naziism to hold Unicorn down so Optimus can leave. This doesn’t last long as Unitron gets up and takes the All Spark.

Spoilers, it’s a trick.

It’s a thingy to causes Unicorn to get sucked into the planet’s core, trapping him there for good this time.

‘Unicorn’s Anti-Spark was vulnerable to this reliquary of the primes”

Sure, why not.

And yes, that was our climax. I know this is a pretty short movie (Only An hour and 2 minutes) but would it have been too hard to give us an epic fight between Optimus and Unitron? I know you can’t top the epic reveal of Optimus 2.0 from Mid Season 3, but come on!

(Yes, Hasbro gave us a big change to a beloved character that didn’t quite chance the character itself. That has never happened before! ….The fans reacted well to this one, though)

Despite that, Anti-Climax, I’m somewhat happy.

Anyway, Megatron has control of his body and Starscream wants Megatron to do evil stuff with his new body that Unicorn gave him. However, he declines.

“I now know the true meaning of oppression and have lost my taste for inflicting it. ….The Decpticons are no more, and that is final.”

Megatron flies off. So, I guess that was a face heel turn but since he left, I’m not sure. I suppose this is okay, given what he has gone through today. Starscream sees this as his chance to take the Decepticon throne, but the Predaking doesn’t like that. For a movie called “Preadons rising”, it had less of the ruler of the titular race than I expected.

He goes up to Starscream…and it cuts to the next scene. ..I guess I’ll assume the worst!

Later, Optimus tells the others that he emptied the All Spartk into the Matrix of Leadership he carries so Unicorn can never get it again.

“You are now one with the all spark?”

“That’s what you say when someone…kicks…the…..”

‘To not return the All Spark to the well , would be to prevent future generations of new life from existing on Cybertron. My quest must be completed”

Oh shit.

“Optimus, I didn’t return to save a life, only to lose the one I care most about!”

“Rachet’s restored planets, he’ll find a way to save you.”

“Because the matrix must now be relinquished with the AllSpark, it cannot be restored, or passed down to another. While this may very well mark the end of of the age of primes, leadership can be earned, with or without the prime. You have each acted as a prime. As even Megatron has demonstrated on this day, every sentient being posses the capacity for change. I ask only this of you, fellow autobots. Keep fighting the noblest of fights!”

“You can count on us to keep the peace”

Optimus flies down to the core and narrates.

“Above all, do not lament my absence.. For in my spark, I know that this is not the end…but merely a new beginning”

A bunch of lights shoot up from the core, brining full life to Cybertron for real this time.

“Simply put, another transformation”

Roll credits.

Well…that happened. I’m sure that was abrupt. I bet there are logic probles. But….damn that awesome. Optimus pretty much sacrifices himself for the good of his planet. In other words..

“I DIED FOR YOUR SINS”

Yeah.

That was….awesome. The movie lacked a truly huge moment like that but that made up for it. It was a really nice moment to end the movie on. I don’t care if the lack of humans actually hurts the moment.(Figures that the one time they cut out the humans, is the time they need them) It’s a really awesome moment.

This show has had some nice emotional moments, (like Bumblebee’s “Death”in the finale) and this is one of them. So yeah, that’s the end of the series. Nice ending, I guess.

Final Thoughts:

I’m not sure what I can say, here. I’m sure a bigger fan could say more but I’ll try. This short movie was good, I guess. Honestly, I prefer some of the special episodes of the series, but this was a nice ending. It finished the overall arc of the series well enough.

However, I wish we had more development for the characters. Yes, I know the show had enough of time, but I liked the character stuff just as much as the action, so I wanted that here.

However, the stuff we get is solid. As a result, there isn’t much to say about the charecters. If you’ve never seen the show, you may find them bland. However, I think they work well for what they are. I still enjoy the interactions, and I like the little moments they get that I mostly skipped over.

I mostly like the villains and Optimus. I think Optimus is better in this show than most of the other incarnations. There I said it. Optimus just has way more to him in this version just being an exposition machine. We see more sides of him in some episodes, and Peter Cullen’s voice is better than ever.

He really sounds a leader here. Everything he says has weight to, and I really like thar.He doesn’t do too much here besides a subplot I mostly skipped over. But dat ending gives him his best moment ever. Granted, it’s only there to fulfill the Optomus death quota bu t it’s still well done.

The story is basic, but it works what for it is. And again the ending, oddly enough, makes it better. Yes, it’s abrupt and makes no wonder where Megatron is going and what happened to Starscream but ah well.

The animation is good, and the fight scenes are great. My only huge problem with this movie is that it feels like an extended episode. Even Equestria Girls felt more like it’s own thing. This isn’t bad, but it also makes it kind of pointless.

Unicorn makes for a solid villain, though I greatly prefer the one from the original movie. I think that’s all I got. I mostly recommend this film to fans of the show, that want a decent end to the series. If you want more, or are not a fan, then you may come out disappointed.

So yeah, it was good. Sorry this wasn’t too good, but I guess the movie didn’t land itself to much analyzation. The grade may seem too high, but screw it/.

Grade: B+

Okay, that’s done with. Now to get back to work on my Super secret project! ….That isn’t secret now. Whoops.

Well, I guess you wanna know about that thing I was working earlier. It’s ….rather easy to explain. See, I am somehow smart enough to create this complicated machine, that I am working. on.

I’m not sure what it will end up doing, but it’s supposed to take you to other dimensions. Yes, I should be wary of anything out of the norm after my experiences with a demon, and an evil scientist taking over the blog….twice.

But hey, what could go wrong?

I really no reason to do this, but I am very bored. Now, just as a warning, there’s a good chance this could go wrong in some way. But hey, when have things ever gone wrong for me?

Let’s do this. I just need to press this button here. Okay, it’s starting up. I will just tell this to you instead of doing anything if something goes wrong.

Get ready to see other worlds, behind our comprehension!

….Uh, something is off. The machine is starting to do weird things. Itr’s shaking and making noises. It’s actually going crazy! I didn’t see that coming.

What is it doing? Oh no, a portal is appearing. It’s….showing an image. I should run away before the thing explodes….but Maybe I’ll just peek into whatever world this machine is showing me. I have no idea what is going on. …But at least whatever is on the other side of the portal will be interesting.

What could…..well you know. Let’s see…

WHAT IS GOING ON?!

WHAT WILL THE MACHINE SHOW US?

WHAT UNSPEAKBLE HORRORS LIE IN THE OTHER DIMENSIONS?!

IS THIS A POOR WAY TO SET UP A THEME MONTH THAT RIPS OFF THE CARTOON HERO?!

FIND OUT NEXT. TIME!

SAME SPONGEY TIME!

SAME SPONGEY CHANNEL!

FIND OUT IN…..ELSEWORLD’S MONTH!

IN THEATERS NOW, COMING THIS SUMMER.

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