Movie Review: Rainbow Rocks

Hello, Spongey here.

Well, it’s that time again, isn’t it? It’s time to piss people off….or maybe not. I literally just talked about Ponies a few days ago, but I suppose twice in a row ain’t bad.

Last year, Hasbro took a franchise that was created to make money, and and used it to make money. People were pissed, because that way involved a film where Twilight visits a world where all the Humans were ponies. It was set in High School.

A lot of people were …skeptical to say the least, including me. But it came out…and the fandom was very split. A lot of people liked it, while a lot of people didn’t. I reviewed it, but if you don’t want to read it here’s the short version:

It was alright. Nothing amazing, but it was fun with decent moments, okay songs, and a cool climax. It could have been better, but it’s still decent. I see why some don’t like it, but I think it’s fine.

It made money so of course they made a sequel. Some were still skeptical but they were open to a Sequel, since it could fix the issues with the first one. It just came out….and everyone likes it!

Seriously! Every review I’ve seen from a “Professorial” Brony Critic has praised it, even one who HATED the first film! Do you know how impossible it is to get the fandom to like something with an out there concept?!

Yeah, no one is saying it’s the best pony thing ever, but most people like it. That’s impressive. But, how will I feel?

Will it manage to get used to it’s hands and rock out, or is it out of tune? Let’s find out!

This, is My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks

STORY:

Twilight Sparkle has gone home to Equestria and is now the Princess of Friendship, while her friends in the human world have reunited and Sunset Shimmer is attempting to make amends for her evil ways despite the school hating her. However, a new threat enters the scene; three new students Adagio Dazzle, Aria Dusk, and Sonata Blaze. Using some sort of dark magic channeled by their singing, the trio spreads a Hate Plague across Canterlot High School, turning an friendly talent show into a Battle of the Bands. With the entire school under their control and the students turned against each other worse than ever, Sunset contacts Twilight in Equestria to ask for her help in defeating the trio and freeing CHS before whatever scheme they’re plotting comes to fruition.

So, how does the story compare to the first film? Well, they way they tackle the story is different, and one sounds like it should be worse…but it’s actually better. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

I suppose I should get my feelings on the film outself out of the way. I feel that The Rugrats Movie is pretty good, despite some people’s issues with it, but I think Rugrats in Paris is better in every single way.

I feel the same way here. Yeah, weird comparison but I won’t be comparing Rainbow Rocks to Shrek 2 or Star Trek 2 anything soon. They pretty much fixed all my issues with the first one, while making the strong parts even stronger. It’s not without it’s flaws, but the flaws are less cringe inducing this time.

But onto the story. The first thing that impresses me if how they use the music element. At first, it seems like they should create a contrived story, with a poor excuse to shoehorn in a battle of the bands plot.

They actually wrote it so it all makes sense. These new villains feast on negative emotions, and use their music to control people. And due to some stuff I won’t get it into, music is the only way to stop them. I can’t say everything without stumbling over my words here, but they manage to make it work in the context of this story.

It seems contrived, but in context, it works. It’s not even as stupid as I thought it would. As for the story itself, it’s fine. The first movie didn’t use specific cliches, but did have an air of generic-ness to it, with the dance and all that.

This one uses more direct cliches, but it uses them in a more creative way so it doesn’t feel quite as generic. They do the whole ‘arguing band” thing, where the leader is all cocky, but the writing manages to make it work, mostly since this is Rainbow Dash we’re talking about here. It’s still cliché but it’s not horribly cliché like some other movies of it’s kind.

It also because of the themes used with 2 characters, but we’ll get into that later. Yes, it’s still not the best story ever, because it has a few minor moments that could have been handled better. Perhaps some of the cliches could have been toned a bit so to make the arguing easier to watch at times.

But honestly, the good stuff impresses me so much I can forgive the flaws. Yeah, it is mostly when you compare it to the first one, but it’s solid on it’s own. If you haven’t seen the first one, this may impressive you compared to what you thought it would be. But that’s still pretty good.

Another minor nitpick is that the story is a bit similar to the first one. The (Hu)mane 6 must stop arguing so they can go to a big event and use Deux Ex Machina powers to fight a villain. But it feels a bit different, and it’s written better, so I can forgive it.

Overall, the story has it’s generic elements, but it manages to use them in a creative way that improves on the first one. It doesn’t line up with the best stories of the show, but it’s still pretty good. The Grade for the Story will be lower than implied here, but that’s just cuz it’s not the best thing ever when put on it’s own.

But hey, it still works as a story, so I’m not complaining.

ANIMATION:

Yeah, the animation is better too. The animation in first was solid, but it’s obvious the animators had to get a hang at animating humans, especially with the slapstick-y parts. This time around, they tone down the extreme stuff.

Now the humans look a look better, and I got used to the designs. Also, since this isn’t enough for the Characters section, I’ll say we do see more Humanized Ponies this time around. But spoilers, No Cheese Sandwhich. Drat.

There are more show-y moments that show off the animation nicely. Especially whenever the villains pop out. Their scenes, especially their songs, show off some impressive shading and all that stuff.

The true highlight is the climax. No spoilers, but damn, it looks good. It’s not “Twilight Vs Tierk” good, as it’s not one of the best pieces of flash animation I’ve ever seen…but it’s still pretty damn good.

Not much else to say. While it won’t go down as the best animation ever, it’s still impressive and better than the first one. But then again, it kind of had to since they had more time to practice this thing. Still good, of course.

SONGS:

Of course the songs are better! But even put on their one, they are pretty solid. The songs in the first movie were fun, but only 2 come to mind, and of those 2 one could be called ‘Great”. This has 7 songs in the film proper (one of which can only be heard uninterpreted on the Soundtrack).

Pretty much all of them are memorable, and at least 3 them are AMAZING. Most of them won’t go down as the best pony songs ever, but those 3 could honestly be in the runners up on my upcoming song list remake. They are that good.

The main reason they are better, is that pretty much all of them are rock songs, rather than pop tunes. I like rock music, so there you go. The ones sung by the Humane 6 are solid with manage to be memorable. Not the best, but better.

So which ones are the greats? Well, you know how the best songs in a lot of musicals are the Villains songs? Yeah, that’s no different here. Holy crap, these villains get the best songs. “Under Our Spell”, “Lets have a battle of the bands” and “Welcome to the show” (the actual villain song part) are all really awesome. They have a very interesting sound, making them stand out, even among the main pony songs.

Even the Sub-Villain gets a really good song. I won’t spoil it though, even if follows of Equestria Daily may know where. Crap, I’ve said too much.

Awhile before I watched the movie, and the soundtrack was out, I picked a random song to feast on while I wait for the movie to came out. It was “Under Our Spell’ and I ended up listening to like 80 times before I saw the movie.

That’s not a joke. Here’s proof.

under out spell

Yeah. That’s why I’m listening to a different song as a type that. I got spent on that song. The villain songs are fun, unique, and show off the best visuals in the film. The normal are songs are good, but the villain songs are better.

Hence why the climax is awesome, as it uses a song that starts off as a villain song and goes into a full on battle. It’s amazing.

Overall, these songs manage to better than the first film’s songs, while still being good on their own. Looks like The Autobot’s aren’t the only Hasbro group to rock out…

CHARACTERS:

Look, I know you’re tired of me saying __ is better than the first…but yeah, the characters are better. But in this area, in succeeds in the same area, while eliminating the weaknesses. The two main characters people bitched about? They fixed them, but we’ll get to that.

First, the show characters. The Humane 6 get a bit more time to shine this time. The plot lets them each have little moments to shine. I said in my review of the first one that they work fine as a group despite little development.

Well here they still shine as a group, but they developed more. The main one is Rainbow, as the title implies. She fulfills the cocky band leader cliché, but the sweet moments make up for it. The way the cliché plays out leads to some nice moments with the mane 6, both sweet and funny.

It’s not their development ever, but it works for the movie. Each of them have significant big moments, except maybe Pinkie but she’s Pinkie so she’s not wasted. Much like in the first on, Twilight gets the best development of the normal characters.

Like always, she’s trying not to let everyone down, but the situation is making it hard. She has a lot of nice moments that give her character even more depth, especially after she became the freaking princess of Friendship. It is a bit derivative of her development in other episodes, even in the first film, but it works on it’s own.

Actually, one other issue with the movie (and the first one) is that it does hit all the marks that the show’s two parters hit. The whole Mad Lib thing Silver Quill came up with came to my mind here, while it didn’t while watching Twilight’s Kindgom, even after his review. But the way they make it work is fine.

But seriously, when you think about, the plot as a whole is The Return of Harmony meets Luna Eclipsed. (We’ll get to that in a second).

So now onto the EQG exclusive characters. First. I’ll just address the Elephant in the room. I was not a fan of Flash Sentry in the first one, as he was just a romantic interest, and nothing more. In this one…he’s not in it that much.

There’s a minor thing with him hating on Twilight thanks to the Dazzlings magic, but his total screentime barely clocks in at 4 minutes. If that. Fans of him will get enough, (all 2 of them) whole others will be happy he doesn’t do much. Also, he spends pretty much most of the being a prick which is awesome. Though the fact that’s a tad obsessed with Twilight is ….creepy I mean, the Twilight he likes is not a human. She’s originally a pony, and is thus a pony at heart.

Yeah…think about that for second.

Anyway, let’s got into the character with the best development…Sunset Shimmer. Yeah, I’m not joking. She didn’t suck in the first film, but she wasn’t the best. But now she’s reformed and awesome.

She’s a good guy, but as you would expect, no one outside of the Humane 6 is really accepting her. She’s trying her hardest, but she can’t quite fit in. Yeah, that sounds a lot of like the plot of Luna Eclipsed (Adding to the Derivative thing I mentioned) but it still works because of the…quality of her character in the first one.

She has some really nice moments that work very well. These moments tend to be either sweet or badass, and that’s cool. One of the best involves her and Twilight talking about their problems. No spoilers, but it’s pretty awesome.

Her development, just works really well. Everyone has praised her, saying she was the best part…and yeah, she was. I grew to really like her by the end, which I didn’t expect. Next you’re gonna tell me Sombra will comeback and become a fully complex villain!

…Nothing? Usually when I say that I get faced with something showing me that while I said will happen. ..Huh, guess he’s just that dull. …Yes, I know he’s kind of in the comics….sort of. I think.

The other normal characters like Celestia are just there but they work. Spike doesn’t get as much to do, which sucks, but he’s still Spike so that’s cool. But seriously, even a background pony…er human gets more to do in the plot! …Shit, I’ve said too much.

And lastly, we have our villains, Adagio Dazzle, Aria Dusk, and Sonata Blaze, voiced by Kazumi Evans, Diana Kaarina, and Maryke Hendrikse. I should mention that they continue the trend of the head villain of an EQG movie being voiced by the singing voice of another character. (Kazumi sings as Rairty and Luna)

Are they an improvement over Sunset? Is Applejack a silly pony? Yep, even the villains are better. Their whole shtick is that they are using their weird siren powers to make everyone fight. Throughout the whole film, they are actually somewhat threatening and cool.

They plot a much bigger part in the plot than Sunset and that makes far more interesting. They also happen to very entertaining when they appear. Mostly because Sonata is kind of dumb, and Aria is a bitch to her, which leads to funny moments between the 3. It’s typical but it works.
They aren’t all that complex, but they are still surprisingly enjoyable. They have an interesting backstory, which I won’t say since it may be a spoiler, even if it’s stated about 20 something minutes in. But I will say I liked that found a way to cover up a potential plot hole.

It’s hard to explain, but these villains manage to be cool. Mostly due to having an insulting nature, with interesting animation and awesome songs. Everything about them is cool, and that’s even without comparing them to Sunset.

Overall, the characters as a strong bunch. The Mane 6 have fun interactions, Twilight gets decent development, Sunset is awesome, and the villains are fun. Now these are characters I can get behind.

Final Thoughts:

Once again, the writers have listened to fan complaints and took them into account. This sequel outdoes the original in mostly every way. The story uses cliches and an odd premise very creatively, with good humor. The animation is impressive, the songs range from Good to Awesome, and the characters are well written.

While some minor things were probably better in the first one, pretty much everything that mattered was better here. However, it does have more issues, mostly with the cliché stuff, if you ignore the first one and pretended this is the only one. But even on it’s own., it has creativity, solid songs, and very nice moments.

With the first one, Meghan and the crew managed to handle the concept well but they obliviously had trouble completely selling us on it. Here, they did it. They made me fully care about pastel humans. Obviously, it’s not as good as the show, but it’s kind of it’s own thing, so it’s unfair to fully compare. Besides, this one mostly has the same quality we come to expect.

The creators put hard work into the first one and it payed off, and it pays off even more here. It’s not the best thing ever, and if it was an episode, it may only crack Number 10 in a list of the best episodes of that season, but that’s still pretty good.

Overall, it’s a fun sequel that fixes the problems with the first one keeping everything that made it good in the first place. Pretty much every Brony should see this, if they are open to it.. If you aren’t a fan, because you haven’t gotten around to watching the show…watch a bit of that first, but still check it out.

It’s pretty good. Oh, and as a side note, stick to the end of the credits. No, we don’t have see the Humane 6 eating Shawarma…but it’s still VERY interesting indeed.. ..I’ll spoil it below.

Story: B

Animation: B+

Songs: B+

Characters: B+

OVERALL: B+

See ya, Non Spoiler guys.

SPOILERS
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Okay, there are only 2 points to discuss, but they are interesting. First, the Dazzlings backstory. They come from Equestria, and they are actually Sirens. They were doing their siren thing, using music to corrupt people.

And so Starswirl the Bearded banished them to the Human World, hoping that would get rid of their powers, as they require Equestrian Magic to function. That went sour though, as their necklaces light up…due to the climax of the first film. Way to go, Celestia…or whoever I should blame.

The important is that Starswirl did it. First, he was introduced in Luna Eclipsed. Told you this was a mash up of that episode and another one! 2Nd, when I heard at the start that they were from Equestria, I wondered why they weren’t’ sent to Pony Hell like Tierk.

Well, it’s because Starswirl handled that, and I assume he doesn’t have that jurisdiction. That was a pretty smart move on their part. There a lot of theories as to why he handled that. Most say that this all happened while Luna was in the moon, and thus, Celestia is a bit too busy to do all this crap. Idk.

Another thing to praise about these villains is that they don’t turn good, even though it seemed lke they would go that way. Mostly because one of them isn’t all that evil. Since Sunset turning good was rushed, I’n glad they stayed evil to the bitter end.

Now for the 2nd important part. Now, back when I even heard of the first film’s premise, I wondered is there was a real Human Twilight/Dog Spike. After all, it doesn’t make sense that this world would just exists without a specific pony person. Keep in mind, the Dazzlings were banished here a bunch of moons ago, before Twilight was even born. Why would she just not exist in that world, along with Spike?

…In the stinger, we see a Human Twilight, with glasses, saying that something weird is going on at that school. Dog Spike barks.

Well, that’s interesting.

…See ya.

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Top 10 My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Season 4 Episodes

Hello, Spongey here.

As reviewer, it’s really hard not to piss people off by covering a certain subject too many times. It seems like every reviewer will get bashed for covering a subject too many times.

Thankfully, no one has bitched at many for talking about Adam Sandler or Phineas and Ferb too much. Even if I do.

My point is that -yeah the punchline is ponies. It’s no secret that some people are hated for talking about ponies if they don’t do it as their bread and butter. I mean, when a reviewer discusses ponies in any capacity, you’ll see at least one comment bitching about that “gay pony shit”.

Well, at least that’s the case for Youtube. You know they suck when even the series itself poked fun at Youtube Comments in Equestria Girls. My point is that if you dislike the series, than don’t watch any videos focused on it. If you are bitching about a reference in another video…well, you don’t bitch about a reference to any other overexposed show. What makes ponies different?

Now, why am I saying all this? Cuz this is like the 4th time I’ve talked about Ponies on here. There was that short list of best songs, the Equestria Girls general review, and of course, the Mare do well review. I still don’t hate it

This will not be the last time I discuss ponies on here. I have another list coming up for it, a remake of the song list, and I will be reviewing Rainbow Rocks when that comes out. So don’t bitch about me talking about it too much.

The odd thing is, I’m not exactly into it as much as some other shows. Yet I plan to discuss a lot in depth. Why is that? I don’t know. I don’t love it the way some others do, yet when I talk about it, I sound as into it as others.

It’s weird. But either way, the show is pretty solid for the great flash animation, likable characters, and solid writing. And today, we’ll be looking at the 4th Season. This past Season sure has been a blast with two story arcs, our first Rarity episode since Season 2, and one hell of a finale.

With the ….feedback from Season 3, you think everypony-…i mean everyone would hate this Season. But nope, it seem to be well liked. Hell, people like Mr Enter say it’s the best Season yet! Granted, the usual band of people hate it…as well as “professional” analyst (Not gonna name names…), but it mostly well received. And for good reasons. After Season 3, it was nice to get another 20 something episode Season, and like Season 2, it had a lot of variety. On top of that,. They did a good job dealing with Twilight’s princess…ness and Discord’s reformation but I’ll get to that in due time.

We had a ton of new writers, and the old writers were as good as ever. But which episodes from this past year were the best? Which had the best humor, the best writing, and the best stories?

Since it’s not like everyone else has agreed on the best episodes, I’ll be looking at the very best this season had to offer.

This, is the Top 10 My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Season 4 Episodes

Why Top 10? Cuz shut up.

Just be warned, this is a boring list for all you pony fans. My top 10 is the same as Everyone else..with only two curve balls. And even those are in the top 10 of a reviewer that I may or may not have mentioned before.

Also, each section has SPOILERS!

HONARBLE MENTION: Princess Twilight Sparkle

Writer: Meghan McCarthy

I REALLY wanted to put this in the top 10. Hell, it probably deserves a few eps that made it in. But I also really wanted certain episodes on here, and I didn’t feel like sacrificing them for this one. I won’t go in depth on this one like I will the others, being the runner up at all.,

Yes, I could have just made this up a top 11….but I didn’t have a lot to say about this one, so I took it out.

This was a pretty excellent Season opener. I’m not sure if it’s as good as The Return of Harmony, but it’s at least on par. It picks up not too long after Magical Mystery Cure, as Twilight is getting used to her new status.

Then Ponyville is attacked by evil plants and the other Princesses vanish. Adventure ensues. This Season opener was interesting, as it was the first one not to have a real villain. The conflict comes up through magic stuff and not an actual being. Though the plants do have as much as personality as Sombra.

(NOTE: I like Sombra but the joke was too easy)

It was nice to have an Adventure without a villain and it worked very well. It also addressed all of our concerns from Season 3. They address Twilight’s new role and how it affects her life and they address Discord’s role as a good guy. Like everyone else, I felt that “Keep Calm and Flutter on” (Worst title ever, or best title ever?) was kind of rushed when it comes to Discord’s whole deal.

But here, they are sure to tell us that he’s still the same Discord, and he’s well written here. On top of that, we get to see the moment where Luna became Nightmare Moon and it’s really awesome.

There’s some solid World Building, as we find out about the “Tree of Harmony” and where the Elements came from. There’ also good comedy and all the usual things two parters give us. Like all the two parters, we get a big scale adventure where everything is done well.

Then there’s the cliffhanger. Remember how I said there were two Story arcs? This is the big one. At the end, the tree of Harmony sprouts a flower containing a chest with six keyholes. We don’t find out where the keys are or what is in the box…..but we figure it out as the Season goes along.

See, each of the Mane Six have an episode to themselves as their Element is tested. At the end of their episode, they get an object that glows. Fans suspected that that object was a key that would open the box. Yes, there is a reason that random objects open the box.

The fans were right. I have to say, that this was a very well done arc. A great way to show off each characters strength and unlike the other arc, it didn’t piss off anyone with the conclusion!

As for the key episodes themselves….Only two are on the list, but others were good. Well, except for Rainbow Falls but I still kind of liked that one, if only for Bulk Biceps.

“P IS FOR RAINBOW DASH!”

There isn’t too much else to say here. While I feel this is better than Crystal Empire (which is still awesome) and the pilot, those give me more to discuss. For some reason, the contents of this ep keep slipping my mind, and I watched this recently for this very list!

It must be memory, but since I remember more of the weaker eps, this is odd. But hey, I still remember how good it is, so that’s a plus. Like every two parters, it’s epic and reminds me of why I enjoy this series.

It’s quite good.

Are there any other runners up? Well, two others almost made it on the list. “Filli Vanilli” for the amazing title, and mature handling of the ending with how Fluttershy doesn’t quite get over her stage Fright. But it also had….Pinkie Pie. Yeah, everyone bitches about her actions (I won’t spoil it cuz I don’t feel like talking about it here) and I sort of agree. She was still…kind of funny and she didn’t hurt the episode, but the fact that she never feels remorse for what she says, really brings it down.

The other is “Bats” for the amazing song, and how both sides are valid. Also, Merriwether Williams wrote a critically praised episode for once, it’s one of the better Applejack episodes, and FLUTTERBAT. Why isn’t it on the list? I don’t know.

It deserves it more than a certain entry we’ll get to, yet I don’t have the….enthusiasm for it that I I have for the ones on the list. I don’t know. It’s still great though, so there you go.

Now for the actual list.

10. Daring Don’t

Writer: Dave Polsky

Now for the first curve ball! This is one of those really divisive episodes. And in a show where every episode seems to be divisive, that’s saying something. You either love it (Mr Enter) or hate it (Every other analyst),

I’m on Enter’s side, if you can’t tell.

Rainbow Dash is eagerly awaiting the release of the next Daring Doo book. But when it’s delayed two by two months, she and the others head to the author, AK Yearling’s (GETIT) house to find out what the hold up.

When they get there, they find out that …AK Yearling IS Daring Do, and she’s trying to stop her nemesis, au-…auti…George, from doing evil stuff.

How much you like this episode will depend on how you much to can buy Daring Do being real. If you can buy it, you like the episode. If you can’t, you won’t. For me, it doesn’t matter if I can buy it. It just depends on how good the story is.

The story is good.

Now, can I buy it? Eh, sure. After all the shows and movies I’ve seen, I can buy anything as long as it’s entertaining. There was no evidence that Daring Do ISN’T real, so I can buy that she’s really. Really, my issue was that they didn’t really explain very well. They find out AK is Daring and…that’s it. They don’t ask questions and they move on to RD fangirling over Daring.

The explanations I’ve heard make sense: Daring pretends to be AK and writes about Daring to keep her exploits a secret and make everything she’s fake. Also, extra money.

But I would like these explanations to be in the actual episode. They just kind of force us to accept it. Maybe if they explained it better, this epi8sode wouldn’t be divisive. But that’s honestly a nitpick for me, since everything else is awesome.

For one, it shows how good the continuity in this show is. It all started in “Read it and Weep” where Rainbow gets into reading through Daring do, and learns that reading is magic. Since then, Daring do has been subtly reference every once in awhile.

And now we have an entire episode about her obsession. It’s cool. Daring do is essentially Indiana Jones as a pony, and that’s why the DD segments in RIAW were the best parts. As a casual IJ fan, I really dug that aspect of this episode.

We get some action set pieces, and it’s a lot of fun. Granted, some bits are convoluted but that’s part of the fun. George isn’t the best villain but much like Mane-iac in Power Ponies, he’s not meant to be a real villain in the way that Discord or Tierk is. (Well, was, in Discord’s case).

Also, this line:

“Now, Ahuizotl, you know I love you, but I can’t give you the ring ’til I’ve properly proposed. “

BEST LINE EVER.

But most of all, I actually like the lesson. Being a big fan of Daring, she puts her on such a high pedestal, that she doesn’t see her own worth anymore.

“I got so wrapped up in how awesome she was, I almost forgot about how awesome I was. “

That is a surprisingly solid message. As a fan of people, I can certainly relate to it. It’s a nice thingy for Dashy to learn, and on top of that, Daring learns that something to have to let someone help oyu sometimes.

Granted the “TEAMWORK IZ KEY” thing has been done, but it’s a nice add on to the main message. Without it, I wouldn’t like this episode as much as I do. Sure, the adventure stuff is fun but it’s not quite enough to make for a great FiM episode.

Thankfully, they put in a message that actually fits with the story. It’s nice and it works. I also like the conversations between RD and Twilight, as they are both fans of Darting, which means it’s full of nerdy talk.

Though it does make think me think Dave Polsky has been on a few message boards. It’s uncanny. Anyway…what else can I say?

We have a fun adventure story with cool action and a solid villain, Rd fangirling, and a great message. What else is there to discuss? I think the reason I’m not going in depth, is cuz I’m going deep into the plot, like I do in my Haunting hour blogs and even that P&F Season 3 list. I’m not going over George’s plan or anything, cuz it’s not really important.

It feels weird. Ah well, I think I explained why I like this episode so much. If you want a more detailed response to the critics against this episode, check out Mr enter’s video on it. Man, for someone I have issues with it, I sure do mention him a lot. Well, he is pretty cool for the most part.

Overall, this was fun episode with a sweet message. Sure, they didn’t explain things well, but it doesn’t matter since this episode is awesome. And really, that’s all I need to say.

Daring Don’t…..insert pun here.

9. Testing Testing, 1, 2 3.

Writer: Amy Keating Rogers

Here’s an episode that wins the award for most relatable episode ever. What do I mean? Well…

Twilight worries that Rainbow Dash is underprepared for a test on the history of the Wonderbolts as part of her entrance exam to join the Wonderbolts Reserves. She tries to tutor Rainbow using standard academic methods, but Rainbow proves too bored and restless to pay any attention. Their friends offer to help Rainbow study through other unique means, only for Rainbow to become overwhelmed by their clashing methods and arguing on whose method is best.

Have you ever had any trouble studying thanks to the broken school system which forces you to use Twilight’s way? Well, here you go. Amy Keating Rogers said this is her favorite episode she has written, and that’s a big part of why.

While RD is a tad bit Flanderized for the plot to work, it’s fun cuz the plot is so good. I’ve had trouble studying (Though not to this extent) in the past, so I’m one of the many people who can relate to this episode.

Most of it it features fun character interactions, and it works pretty well. RD, while a bit too dumb at some points, has some funny lines during the first “act”. At one point, she goes through every “Impatient kid in class” line in the book, and it’s awesome.

Then there’s. the methods the others try. Fluttershy ,being a visual learner, tries out a play on the history of the Wonderbolts. Rarity is also a visual learner, and she tries out clothes based on old Wonderbolts fashion. Applejack, being….Applejack learns through experience. And Pinkie….learns through-

“Musical intervention!”

…Yeah. More specifically,, she uses a rap. ….Yes, really. There’s a rap in My little Pony. And it’s AWESOME. Yes, really. Mostly because the song itself is a spot on parody of 80’s rap videos, instead of just being a typical lazy rap.

Which method is closer to mine? Pinkie’s.

Anyway, the various methods are pretty cool and we get some amusing bits from RD during all this. I don’t know what I can say about this episode before we get to the ending. It’s just an amusing episode with cool character interactions.

Anyway, since she fails to grasp all of these methods, Dashy just wants to give up. While on a flight with Twilight, the others figure out what RD’s method of studying is. See, Dashy says that while she’s flying, she has super sight or something, which means she keeps a really good eye on what is below her and memorizes all of what she says, even while she’s talking to Twilight.

As you would guess, Twilight has the other ponies in Ponyville help do History of Wonderbolts around town during her next flight, so RD ends up remembering it all. So she aces the test, and it’s a happy ending. The End.

As you can tell, the reason this episode works is the moral. As I said before, The public school is rather…broken, forcing you to use Twilight’s method of studying, and if you fail, you must be some kind of idiot.

This episode says “Screw it” and tells us that everyone has a different method of learning. And that lesson is pulled off very well. A lot of people related to the episode for that reason, and I can see why. It’s the show at it’s best.

See Lizzie McGuire, that’s how you do that moral. Seriously, even HANNAH MONTANNA got it right!

….This is a good episode. And in this test, that gets a …B+. Hey, an A is a truly great episode.

Not much else to say except it’s a good episode with a good moral. Let’s move on.

8. Pinkie Apple Pie

Writer: Natasha Levinger

We had a ton of new writers did this Season. Most of them were fine, with the ones with the strongest starts, not being that amazing afterward. Natasha is no different, as she penned the Breezies episode after this. But she’s one of the stronger new writers of the Season.

This was a good debut. Not the best new writer debut (we’ll to that one later) but it’s still good.

Through the power of some thing I won’t get into, Pinkie finds out that she’s releated to Applejack. She’s very happy to be part of a family, but Applejack isn’t sure how true this is. So they head off on a road trip to visit an family member they know that is an expert on this kind of thing.

People were mixed on Pinkie in this season. I for one thought she was perfectly fine for most of it. Her actions in the premiere, Castle-Mania and Three’s a Crowd were freaking hilarious. I don’t see why people had issue with her in those.

Then there’s Fily Vanili but I already mentioned that. Either, those people were still happy with her solo episodes, this being a prime example. Okay, this is actually a Pinkie/Applejack ep, but you get my point.

I actually like this one for Applejack more than Pinkie. Pinkie is certainly awesome in this, but she mostly takes a backseat to the Apple family. Applejack wants Pinkie to feel at home with the family, so she they all pretend to be nice to each other, even they get pissed.

And with Big Mac over packing their mode of transportation, Applebloom losing the map, and Granny’s poor navigation skills, that ends up being hard. It’s a lot of fun to see all this go on, as things get worse and worse as the trip goes on.

I especially love this bit when Applebloom thinks she has the map:\

“To the M-A- to the, that’s right, P,I’m Apple-”

….If you get that joke, then you were as happy/shocked as I was, seeing that.

I also like how they play with Big Mac’s …limited vocabulary. Eeyup. Pinkie is mostly a bystander in all this, but she’s pretty amusing when gets some time to shine, For the most part, this is just a fun episode without much to analyze. That is until the message, and ending.

At the end, with the help of Pinkie, Applejack learns that being a good family isn’t about being perfect and never arguing. It’s about getting through the hard times, and looking past each other flaws. They didn’t need to put on a nice act for Pinkie, cuz their need to be nice lead to Granny taking them through

“Bein’ a good family isn’t about bein’ perfect as much as it about bein’ able to get through the patches together. About bein’ able to forgive each other for mistakes”

Once this again, this is a great message. There are plenty of shows that have nice family moment, but usually they favor the fighting because Comedy. While this does end with them arguing a bit, it’s still funny and the message is excellent.

It’s refreshing and sweet to see, and it’s a nice message to cap off the episode. This is another simple episode where you can’t say that much.

It’s a fun little adventure has good comedy and a solid message. But there is a bit more to say about the whole Pinke/Applejack thing. At the end, they never find out if they are related or not. It’s left ambiguous.

That sounds bad, but it’s done well. Saying “No” would be too obvious, and “Yes” would open too many questions. And that’s not really the point. Pinkie is accepted into the family anyway, for being so awesome. In the end, it doesn’t matter cuz either way, she’s an Apple to the core.

…Oh yeah, there’s also an awesome song called Apples to the Core.

The ending was well done, and I really like the Apple family in general. This episode was a good showcase for them, with a solid story, a good song, a good message, and a well handled ambiguous ending.

There’s also the issue of Pinkie. She knows so much about how families are supposed to operate, yet she doesn’t talk about her family all that much. Some people say something happened in her back story that is…rather interesting. And the episode coming up doesn’t address that. I personally think she had a bad experience with the family, and when she learned how a family should be, she got obsessed with it to avoid that happening ever again.

Just my two bits.

So yeah, this episode has a lot offer. It has a good story, a good song, good character writing, and of course, a good message.

That’s really I can ask for. I don’t like Apples but I do like Apples! ….As in, I like the famly, not the fruit.

…Pinkie Apple Pie is a good episode…with a great title.

7. Rarity Takes Manehattan

Writer: Dave Polsky

There seems to be a belief that the 7th episode of each Season is cursed. :Let’s see how true that is.

SEASON 1: Look before you sleep. It has a mixed reception, with some liking it (me) and others (Enter) hating it. It’s nothing great but it’s fun and okay.

SEASON 3: Apple Family Reunion., The reaction was mostly “Meh”, so it’s a step up. It was okay. Nothing wrong with it. Also, the song is great.

SEASON 2: The Mysterious Mare do Well. …Okay, maybe there is truth to this.

There’s another trend: Rarity episode are always good. She hasn’t had a bad solo episode yet. So they decided to make a Rarity ep8isode the 7th episode to see if they could break the “curse”.

They did, as this was a beloved episode. And it’s more than deserving of aapot on this list.

Rarity and the gang head to Manehattan so Rarity can enter her Designs in Fashion thingy #4554. She lets let this one chick borrow a bit of out her line, and she ends up stealing it as her own. So now Rarity must have her friends make a new line, even if it means they can’t do the fun stuff they wanted to do.

First off, I must mention the best line in the whole series, which comes RIGHT before Rairty start a a song. Applejack says Dashy doesn’t like musical.

“I know. Ponies just bursting into song at random places at the drop of a hat. Who does that?”

BEST LINE.

With that out of the way, let’s go over the episode. Dave Polsky was pretty interesting this season. Before now, he was known as a Comedy write. He was good with Comedy, and not so good with everyone else. I thought the stories in his episodes were okay enough (Except for one episode, but that’s a topic for another day). But there’s no doubt that he was better at Comedy.

Until now. For whatever reason, all of his episodes in Season 4 were focused on Story rather than humor. Even Daring Don’t had more of an Adventure feel. This, and some other eps further down the list, had great stories, and they didn’t focus too much on Comedy.

I have no idea what happened to him, but I’m glad he’s switching things up. And this was a good one for him. This one was odd for me.

This usually isn’t the kind of episode I don’t crazy for on my first viewing. Usually praised episodes such as this, take a few viewings to do a lot for me. But for some reason, I really liked this one when I first saw it.

In the first half, I was just liking it, but in the 2nd half I got really into it, like everyone else did. I mostly like the direction it goes in. You think it would be about Rarity trying to get back at Suri (I think that was the name) for taking her designs.

But nope, it’s more about her trying to make her friends create new dresses. She works her friends a bit too much, and forces them to miss out on this musical they wanted to see. So it ends up being a story about not letting people take advantage of your generosity, and not taking advantage of your friends and all that.

I certainly didn’t expect that from how the plot it set up, but it works. It’s hard ot really sum up here, but it’s a sort of nice Rarity story. Most of her episodes are about her being very un- generous. Which makes sense, as she needs to show off he flaws to be a well rounded character. But seeing as the others regularly show off their element to begin with, its nice to see her be generous to start with.

I’ve heard people complain about the fact that Rarity is randomly generous here, when she usually isn’t. It doesn’t help that she has a whole song about it.

But here’s the thing. The song starts with this line:

“Oh Manehattan, what you do to me”

Her love for Manehattan is bringing out her generous side. It’s kind of obvious. Plus ,did you consider that maybe this is the result of her development? Now she’s learned to be generous to start with. That is also kind of obvious.

Anyway, it’s nice to see her learn a lesson that doesn’t boil down to “Be Generous” or something. The two main things that Rarity sort of learns were done very well, and they hit many emotional chords.

Eventually, the others make Rarity’s dresses and she presents them at the thing. However, they don’t show up, making Rairty think they ditched her due to what she did. Spoilers, they just woke up late or something.

But given what she put them through, you see why she thinks this. This leads to a really depressing reprise of the song, which is depressing. It’s a really cool emotional moment. Did I mentioned that Rairty lost the fashion week thingy?

Yeah, that’s part of the emotional thing too. Also, Rairty doesn’t thank her frienda for their help. Wow, this ep more to it than I remember. Using the MLP wiki for Research is really helpful sometimes!

Anyway, this is all done very well. This is all started out because Rarity just gave away her fabric willy nily, and someone took advantage of her generosity. So yeah, it’s a nice moral that gives us development for Rairty.

“I learned that while there are ponies who will take advantage of your generosity, you should never ever let that cause you to abandon your generous spirit. Nothing feels worse than taking advantage of the giving nature of your friends.

But wait, I have to mention Coco Pomel. Rairty actually leaves before she can find out if she won or not, and Suri tells the other manes that Rarity loss. She doesn’t care because friendship. Suri lied cuz if Rarity doesn’t claim her trophy, it counts as a forfeit, and boom Suri wins.

Huh, she’s one of the smarter villains on the show and she wasn’t even that much of a villain.

Coco went with the ruse until she the generosity shown between Rairty and her friends. So she quite her job and she’s off to do other stuff. Also, she gives Rarity a spool of thread and yes, this is the first Key episode.

The point of the key episodes, is I said before, is too show how each pony learned more about their element, and used it to help another pony find the way. Like how Fluttershy learned that being stern is part of being nice in the Breezy episode. I mention that one cuz it’s not on the list.

(But I did like it, even though people dislike it ala Daring don’t).

It’s a complex, and interesting idea and this episode did it it the best, at least on a critical level Even if another certain key ep was better. No guesses as to what it is.

Anyway, the thing with Coco adds more cool stuff to this episode. She’s become a somewhat popular character (Though in a fandom where a background pony can become popular, I wouldn’t take this seriously) and I see why. She isn’t the most interesting character, but she’s adorable and serves the story well.

Before I wrap this, I’ll say that the song is pretty good. Not one of my favorites, but it’s pretty catchy and I like it. Not much else to say there.

As a whole this episode works pretty well. They pack in a lot of things to help make this an interesting Rarity episode that goes into her character very well. Whenever I see a good Rarity episode, I am reminded of how good a character she is. Admit, it took you awhile to warm up to her when you started the series.

If the writers failed, she could have sucked but thanks to episodes like this, she’s kind of awesome. There are a lot of cool elements to this one, and it even has good world building, since it shows off Manehattan and all.

It’s easy to see why this was a popular one. It’s well written, it gives us a good message, and it uses the key arc to great effect. It also cemented Dave Polsky one of my favorite FiM writers.

Also, I should bring up one thing that was a big deal at the time. In one scene, Twilight tries to hail a cab and fails. Since she’s a freaking princess, people were confused by this. Actually, throughout the Season, (until “Twilight Time”), people were bitching about the fact that Twilight’s role as a princesses didn’t change much,.

Let me get this straight: People were hating on Twialicorn cuz they thought it would change everything about her. Then people bitch bitch about her not being changed by this.

….I don’t get it.

Anyway, I think this not only makes sense, but it also sends an okay message to kids. For one, this is the pony version of New york we’re talking about. Of course everyone’s gonna be an asshole, regardless of your status.

2nd, this arguably teaches kids that sometimes you can’t get what you want, even if you are a freaking princess. Maybe I’m reaching, but there you go. Either way, it’s no big. And trust me, we’ll discuss this topic later.

Anyway, there isn’t too much else to say. It’s a very good episode with a well written story, a nice message, and wonderful development for Rarity.

It’s pretty good, but it would have been better if Rarity found out that the Muppets and Jason beat her to taking Manhattan. ….Come on, I had to make that joke!

….Good episode, let’s move on.

6. Equestria Games

Writer: Dave Polsky

Oh hey, another choice that will get me crucified. I suppose now is a good time to discuss the Equestria Games arc. It…was not that good. Mostly because they shot themselves in the foot with Rainbow Falls.

See, they built up the Equstria Games thing since “Games Ponies Play” which was a decent episode, by the way. (Also by Dave Polsky, oddly enough). In Season 4, more episodes came along to hype up the games.

A lot of people were looking forward to the big Equestria Games episode. But as it turns out…it’s a Spike episode. Let me explain.

Spike is chosen as the torch lighter for the Equestria Games in recognition of his role in saving the Crystal Empire. But At the opening ceremony, Spike succumbs to performance anxiety and is unable to ignite his fire breath.

As some of you may know by now, people were…not happy to see that this was a Spike episode. People expected it to be about the games, cuz it;s in the title. So an episode focused on Spke was shocking to see.

Some people still liked it, while others hated it. Before I explain why I like, I’ll defend it a bit. Now, Rainbow Falls is why this episode had to be the way it is.

That episode had Fluttershy and Bulk Biceps trying out to represent Ponyville in the Ariel relay in the games. That episode hand waved the fact that those 2 had to be there, by saying ponies can only be in one event, and all the other pegasi picked a different event for some reason.

That lead to a lot of issues with the episode, the biggest one being the …choices for the event, among other things. While that episode is flawed, I don’t find it really awful, and it has some saving graces. Like Bulk Biceps.

“P IS FOR RAINBOW DASH!”

But everyone hated the episode anyway. Mr Enter feared that this episode wold suck as ghat one dropped the ball. Thus, this one would either reinforce the one’s issues, or rehash stuff from other episodes.

The writers must have realized this, and thus they made it a Spike episode, focusing on the pressure he feels at the games, as the Crystal Empire kind of worships him. This was pretty much the only way to go, as making it about the games would open up problems.

Now, if Rainbow Falls either didn’t exist, or had no issues, it would be about the games. But no, it did suck (for some) and this was the only way to go. Sorry guys, but it was the only option they had.

Would you rather have an episode about the games that had the issues you bitched about before, or an episode using it a backdrop that has a good story? …The former? Ugh, I hate the fandom sometimes.

But whatever, let’s ignore that. Spike episodes have a repuatation for being…not good. I like all of them, but I will admit they tend to be rather average. Not to mention that Spike is rarely treated with dingity.

The previous episode, Inspiration Manifestation, happened to be a Spike episode (the best up to that point, no less), which didn’t help matters. So yeah, two episodes written by Cory Powell doomed this episode. Yay.

Anyway, this episode is a pretty good one. It’s very simple in terms of plot, but it doesn’t matter because it has a great moral. When Spike fails to light the torch, Twilight does it for him using magic.

So thus, he thinks he can light things on fire with his mind. Because ponies. This leads to good Comedy, but eventually he learns the truth. It makes that bit pointless but at least it’s funny.

Most of the episode has antics with episode, most notably him having to sing the Cloudsale Anthem…even though he doesn’t know it. So he improvises. It’s hilarious. And yes, the actual VA made it up just like Spike did. The stunned reaction makes it even funnier. Also..

PINKIE: Nailed it!

Yes.

In the climax, an accident happens and this big ice thing descends on the stadium. The Unicorns can’t help because thing thingy took their magic so they wouldn’t help the competitors cheat and stuff. Spike sees this and uses his fire breathe to melt the ice, saving the day.

Yeah, Spike is awesome. But he doesn’t think so, as he feels no real pride.

“I just saw what needed to be done and reacted. Just so happens I can breathe fire and… if any of you could do that, you’d have done the same. “

Yeah, even after that, Spike isn’t over his problems. Thankfully, Twilight gives him a speech and Spike lights fireworks at the closing ceremony, while giving us our moral:

“You know, it’s kinda weird. No matter how many times others tell you you’re great, all the praise in the world means nothing if you don’t feel it inside. Sometimes to feel good about yourself, you gotta let go of the past. That way, when the time comes to let your greatness fly, you’ll be able to light up the whole sky. “

Yeah….that’s kind of one of the best morals the show has ever taught. The people that loved this episode say they needed it badly, and I see why. In most shows, they just get over their problems, or they just “suck it up”, roll credits.

But this episode tells us that no matter how much people praise you, it doesn’t really matter unless YOU like you. That’s actually a very good message, that you don’t see often.

And honestly, I’m glad Spike learned that lesson, as it gave the character even more depth. A lot of people ignored that cuz OMG WE DON’T THE GAMES WORST EPISODE EVER.

Yeah, no. This is not an example of a dissapoint,g o bad epoisode. Call me when a character drives another to suicide, a dog gives a baby herpes, or our heroes do gross thing to get someone to barf.

All of those are real episodes of real shows.

I understand some may not like that it doesn’t focus on the games, but just take in what is there. As I said, this is the only way they could write the episode so it doesn’t suck. Personally, I prefer this over what we could have gotten.

Spike is treated with dignity, he goes through good development, and of course, he learns a great moral. Besides, the games are important to the plot, so the title doesn’t lie.

So yeah, this was a really good episode. I’m not sure it deserve to be placed above Rarity Takes Manehatten, but this is my list, and I liked how it treated Spike. So there.

Overall, it’s a good episode for Spike with a moral we can relate that. That’s a pretty good thing to me.

5. Maud Pie

Writer: Noel Benvenuti

Pinkie Pie is eager for her friends to meet her visiting older sister Maud, whom she says has much in common with each of them. When Maud arrives, however, Pinkie’s friends find her to be a dull pony with an unusual interest in rocks, and fail to find any common interest with her despite their best efforts.

This episode was somewhat of a sleeper hit with the fans. Suddenly, everyone was calling it one of the best Season. And yes, it is. Why is so popular? The titular Maud. Man, was she popular.

Why was she popular? Well, you see, Her dull nature means she gives the show a chance to try out dry humor. Something you don’t really expect in this show.

“What is that delightful frock you’re wearing now saying?”

“It doesn’t talk. It’s a dress”

That’s funny on it’s own, but imagine it being said in the driest voice possible. Also, there’s no music when she speaks. All of this creates a very funny and popular character. This may very well be the funniest episode of the Season.

Everything Maud says is funny, and it’s made even funnier by the voice acting. Both her dry nature and rock obsession make for good Comedy. She even has a pet named Boulder. But it’s not a boulder.

SPONGEBOB: It’s a rock!

…Yes.

By the way, Maud puts a sandwich next to Boulder, and the next time we cut to them, the Sandwhich is gone.

Yes.

There are a lot of funny pats outside of that, as she bugs the others with her Rock obsessed. As a said before, they don’t see to eye and this leads to a lot of funny moments. My favorite is when Rainbow is talking about Maud:

“That pony is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an igneous.
Don’t you mean “inside an enigma”?
“Nope. I mean igneous. It’s a kind of rock.”

….I’ll save the obvious joke for later.

Anyway, is there more to this episode than humor? Oh yes. If it weren’t for the sweet moments, this would be lower on the list. You would think the conflict would be about Pinkie accepting her sister’s lifestyle.

…That came out wrong. Anyway, that’s not it. Infact, Pinkie is pretty okay it. She’s pretty much oblivious to the fact that they are complete opposites. They never have conflict have each other. That’s pretty impressive, really. They actually have a ….rock solid relationship.

BwPdTzJIUAERUPB

I deserved that.

This show seems to get sibling stuff down perfectly. Well, except Somepony to watch over me but I digress. For the most part, the sibling stuff in the show has been realistic. Well, as realistic as you can get with magical pastel ponies.

This is a good example of that. On the Maud side, we see that she really does love Pinkie despite their differences. At one point, Maud uses super hum-er pony strength to save Pinkie from this obstacle course thing. Don’t ask.

Maud is awesome in more way than one it seems. I can’t stress how well written their relationship is in this episode. Pinkie really wants the others to bond with Maud, but it is just isn’t going to happen.

Okay, so they find something they all agree on, and they bond, right? Actually, no. By the end of the episode, the rest of the Mane 6, and Maud, don’t 100 percent see eye to eye on everything. However, they do learn that it doesn’t really matter, as they have one thing in cmoon:

They love Pinkie Pie. And that’s good enough.

While that is still cliché (learning to accept each others difference), this did episode did throw me for a loop in some small parts. But wait, I was talking about Maud herself. Time to spoil the episode to make a point!

See, Pinkie has been making Rock candy Necklaces the whole episode, and she’s been making for Maud for awhile. At the end, it turns out Maud hasn’t eaten any of them.

“I don’t really like candy. But I do love Pinkie Pie.”

…D’awww.

Pretty much everything about Maud herself works. She’s funny and she gives us 2 important orals.

1. Two people who are completely different can get along but..

2. Sometimes two people just won’t be able to connect because they’re worlds apart, no matter how much they want to, but sharing a common friend can be enough to be friends.

Both of these are important lessons, and they are pulled off very well. I don’t think anyone expected this episode to be so dry, but I don’t think anyone expected it be so sweet with such a good lesson.

And by coating in some great humor, it makes it easier to watch than the more dramatic episode. It’s easy to see why people loved this episode so much.

Pinkie is her usual admirable self, the humor is hilarious, and the lead pony is awesome, giving us some great morals.

It’s just another episode that shows that this series can do things no one expected. It can also dabble in different types of humor, and I respect shows that can change things up.

This episode had a lot to offer, and I bought all of it. It’s pretty good, is what I’m saying. All in all, Maud Pie….rocks.

I’m so sorry.

4. For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils

Writer: Dave Polsky

Sweetie Belle is best CMC. I’m just gonna throw that one out there. While Scootlaoo almost gave her a run for her money, Sweetie Belle is my favorite. Mostly because of the relationship between her and Rarity as shown in Sisterhooves Social, and now this.

Sweetie Belle asks Rarity to help with her costumes for a stage play she put together herself. After the play, Sweetie Belle finds that Rarity’s dresses garnered more praise than the play itself, and accuses Rarity of upstaging her on purpose. Angry, The night before Rarity is to deliver outfits to singer Sapphire Shores in Canterlot, Sweetie Belle spitefully sabotages one of the pieces. …Stuff ensues.

I’ll hopefully get into this another time, but I really like the way Sweetie and Rarity relationship is written. It’s shockingly realistic with a lot of aspects to it. Sister hooves Social looked at Rairty’s side, with her at fault. This time, it’s Sweetie at fault.

Rairty’s dresses upstage her…rather lackluster play, and she’s not happy. Yeah, Sweetie, I love you but you are not an actor, writer or director. Sorry. She admits this at the end, by the way.

A lot of people with an older sibling have felt this sometime in their life. When they feel they are overshadowed by their older sibling. I don’t feel this that often as the stuff my brother does isn’t all that interesting to me. So, I guess I didn’t’ need to learn the lesson ,unless I feel that deep inside and I’m not admitting it. …Nah, I mean what I’m saying.

While Sweetie sabotaging the dresses is a bit sudden, it’s understandable. See, this how you make a character do something bad to learn a lesson. You make their actions understandable, and you make them actually likable. And if you must them flat out jerks, make sure they learn their lesson instead of ruining it with a dumb joke.

…I’m still bitter about No Rhyme or Treason.

The point is, Sweetie is well written in this episode. By the way, I don’t know hwy, but I love this line, where Sweeite asks a guy what his fave part of her play was:

“…i like those lines you said!”

I’m gonna use that someday. Anyway, after doing the dirty deed, Sweetie has a bad dream. Then she is visited in her dreams by Princess Luna. Yep, Luna’s whole Dream thing is back . It’s a bit confusing, but it was used to great effect in Sleepless in Ponyville and that’s still true here.

By the way, Luna says she symaphethisez with Sweetie because her own sister, Celestia upstages her as well …Yeah, they don’t go into it…but that’s interesting. Mostly cuz, as you know, Luna kept her feelings bottled up and kind of turned evil or something.

Luna takes Sweetie Belle to the past to give us a flashback. During Sweetie’s 5th Birthday party, her awesome-ish dress got upstaged by Rarity’s as the kids liked Rarity’s party favors more than Sweetie. Yeah, that’s part of why Sweetie got so mad at Rarity. She’s always been upstaging her.

But then Luna shows her the truth. Sweetie was taking so long that the guests got bored, and wanted to leave. To make sure they stayed, Rarity pulled out the party favors. The rest is history. Yep, Rairty wasn’t upstaging her all along, and the whole was kind of Sweetie’s fault.

Whoops. She is taken to the present, (well, earlier that day, actually) as she sees that Rarity was genuinely working hard on those dresses. I should mention that she had to skip out on the play because she stayed up all night working on both Sweetie’s dresses, and the stuff for Saphire Shores.

So yeah, in this case, Rarity is working hard to please Sweetie, and she’s being kind of a bitch in return. I kind of like the angle, and Sweetie’s further development was well handled. And then Luna shows Sweetie what will happen if Sweetie doesn’t fix her mess with the whole sabotaging thing.

The scene we get then is …pretty damn awesome. Rarity is embarrassed, and she goes insane, checking and re-checking the dress to see where things wrong. She becomes a laughing stock and she refuses to make dresses for anypony.

…Yeah, it’s scary, depressing, and awesome. It’s a really cool, and somewhat scary scene, showing how bad that thing Sweetie did was. It gives her a wake up call (literally) and she goes to fix things. You can fill in the rest of the plot.

Though I do wonder how exactly Luna has the power to show past events she was not present for. I know it’s a dream, but does that mean she time travel? …Yeah, I small the fanfics from here.

This episode does a really good job with it’s message and stuff. It basically shows that if you’re sibling is upstaging you, you should, you know, talk about it. Or make sure it’s not all in your head.

Also, sometimes one can get so emotionally invested in their own work that they might fail to see its flaws and shortcomings. A lot of writers could learn from THAT lesson.

I like that they made most of the scenario’s Sweetie’s fault in some way. It’s harsh but in a good way. It’s nice story for Sweetie Belle with some interesting deveolpment. Plus, I loved the whole dream angle.

…Wait, someone shows a character their past, present, and future, to teach them a lesson about their ways. ..Sounds familiar….Eh, I’m sure it’s nothing.

Either way, this episode is very good. It’s interchangeable with Maud Pie, as I hard time deciding which one was better. I put this one above it cuz…people like it more. And it deserves all of it’s praise.

I gotta hand it to Dave Polsky, he did a great job this season, and this is his best work to date. If he keeps this up next season, he may replace MA Larson as best “Normal” Writer.

Not much else to say here. It’s a good episode with a solid story, great morals, and nice development for best CMC. What more could you ask for?

Also, I love the title.

And now we reach the top 3. Every list I’ve seen has the same Top 3…and this is no different. While the rest the list may have thrown you for a few loops, this will not. The only question is, which order will they be in? Let’s see…

3. Flight to the Finish

Writer: Ed Valentine

Speaking of the CMC, here’s another great CMC episode! This episode is insanely popular for two reasons. For one, it’s about Scootaloo. The other reason? Well…

The fillies and colts in Ponyville compete under Rainbow Dash’s coaching to be the town’s flag carrier for the upcoming Equestria Games. The Cutie Mark Crusaders put together an impressive routine that showcases how all three races of pony live harmoniously in Ponyville. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, who are also vying, attempt to sabotage the event by pointing out Scootaloo’s inability to fly at her age. Their plan works, and Scootaloo’s inability to fly bugs her, big time.

I’ll be honest. When this episode came out…I didn’t LOVE it. I liked it but I was confused to see that I wasn’t falling in love for it like everyone else. But after watching/reading reviews of it, and re-watching it…twice, I’m on the train. This episode is freaking awesome.

So why is so lauded? The subject matter. I’m just gonna say it: This episode is about disabilities. Scootaloo’s inability to fly, due to her wings, is very much a disability. Needless to say, this is a very mature subject to discuss in a kid’s show, much less one in the My Little Pony franchise.

And thankfully, they pulled it off perfectly. The big hing people like to mention is Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon’s …attitude. They aren’t simply confused by her disabilty. No, they single her out for it. They want to bring the CmC down, but they had no other way to do it.

“We already called them Blank Flanks!”

And so they picked on her disability, just to make her feel bad. I’m not usually on the Diamond Tiara/Silver Spoon hate train, for reasons I’ve gone into before, but here…they were eviler than Tierk ever was.

I mean, he took the magic of the Unicorns, and Pegsai, but he never mocked them for it! …Anyway, as you can imagine, this gets to Scotaloo, and this leads to a very emotional story.

When I re-watched this episode for this list, (and then watched it again cuz it was just that good), I actually had not seen the Season 1-3 episodes in awhile. At least, not a lot since they first aired. So this was the first time in awhile I completely invested in the story here, on an emotional level.

Then I re-watched most of the others on here and the rest is history. Scootaloo’s disabilty gets to her, and she has the routine changed so it will give her a chance to try her hand at flying. She tries really hard to fly with her tiny wings, but it just doesn’t work.

She forces her friends to work really hard to get the routine changed, and this really has a negative effect on the new version. They get tired due to this, and they call Scootaloo out. Long story short, they fight.

This whole episode is just insanely emotional. You feel so damn bad for Scootaloo was she tries to get over her disability but just can’t. It’s a classic case of someone’s Semi-Jerk-y ness being understandable, while the others are still likable. It just gets more interesting as it goes on, leading to a very emotional climax.

And of course, we have our moral.

“Listen, Scootaloo. Maybe you’ll fly someday, or maybe you won’t. You’re all kinds of awesome anyway”.

Yeah, the lesson is that disabilities aren’t really a big deal unless you make it a big deal. In Scootaloo’s case, she’s perfectly capable of being awesome without flying. Yeah, that’s kind of an amazing lesson.

I like that they left her ability to fly ambiguous Will she ever fly? We don’t know, and this episode says it doesn’t matter either way. There’s no doubt that this is one of the most mature stories the show has done to date.

The only problem is that it takes halfway through the episode to get to this…but I don’t mind. Mostly because they had to set up the concept of them doing this whole routine based on the different type of ponies in Ponyville. So the whole no flying thing will hit even harder, and it gives the villains a bigger reason to do this outside of…the Evulz.

So while you could say they spent too much time setting up the Equestria Games, I say it’s just to rightfully set up the conflict of the episode. Besides, the stuff leading up to is still enjoyable.

Oh, and it has a great song. I won’t say too much, cuz I may have a chance to discuss it again (hint hint) but I will say that right after the song is my favorite joke in this season: At the end of the song, they jump in the air, and it pauses.

…Then there’s a close up shot where the CmC fall, realizing there’s nothing supporting them. That was hilarious.

You really have to applaud the writers for tacklng a mature subject in a kid;s show. But I must also applaud them for making it work within the story. This easily could have been A Very Special Episode, but instead it’s a very sweet story with Scoots that happens to tackle a mature subject.

THAT’S how you do it, writers.

There’s really not much else to say that hasn’t already been said. Why isn’t this ep higher despite being objectibly the best? Eh, I just ENJOY the next 2 more. This is techinlly better than the next one, but the rather heavy subject, and minor filler, make it less enjoyable for others.

But despite that, this episode was fantastic, with emotional moments, mature writing and solid development. Plus, a great song.

….I like it. What else do you want out of me?!

2. Pinkie Pride

Writer: Amy Keating Rogers and Jayson Thiessen (Story)

Yeah, obvious choice is obvious. I don’t think I’ve seen so much love for an episode since…ever. Everyone,and I mean everyone, says this is the one best episodes ever. Even the most harsh critics of the Season say it was good. That’s how good it is.

I’ve gone through various stages on my thoughts, from loving it so thinking it has flaws making it weaker than Flight to the Finish. But in the end, I put it here for a few reasons…

A party planner named Cheese Sandwich arrives in Ponyville on the same day Pinkie Pie is planning a party celebrating Rainbow Dash’s birthday and anniversary of her move to Ponyville. The townsfolk, including Pinkie’s friends, are entranced by Cheese’s partying and allow him to plan the festivities instead, leaving Pinkie dejected. Refusing to be outdone, Pinkie challenges Cheese to a “goof-off” to determine who will headline the party.

Okay, let’s just get the obvious thng out of the way: Cheese Sandwhich is voiced by Weird Al. That’s…amazing. How did we go from..

“She’s our Sweetie Burp”

to this?!

Weird Al has appeared on plenty of cartoons (Johnny Bravo, Lilo and Stitch, Wordgirl, ….annoying orange?) so it isn’t too shocking he would be in this show. But it’s still…weird.

I may as well talk about his performance first. Normal Celebrity appearances suffer from having the Cleb be either boring, shoehorned in, or both,.

Weird Al isn’t a normal celebrity. So he was awesome. This is mostly because the writers actually give Cheese a character outside of Weird Al as a Pony. He’s kind of like that, but it works. He’s not just “Goofy Weird Al” all the time.

As the episode opens, we see him observing a town in Clint Eastwood garb, with a rubber chicken on his back, talking about his next party. This sets the tone perfectly. Al manages to very serious despite having silly diakouge, and stuff like that,

This means he gets to act instead of just spouting dumb jokes. That makes his performance awesome, thus not falling into the usual traps. His character is fun and so is he, but we’ll talk more about him later.

Let’s talk about the story itself. At first glance, it seems rather cliché. New guy shows up, updataging our hero at their own game and becomes more loved. Didn’t they already do with in “Owl’s Well that Ends well”?

However, they manage to put an interesting spin on it. For one, both sides learn an important lessson. They don’t just say Cheese is the best thing. It’s just that that …anyone would follow Weird Al if he popped up, let’s be honest. Also, Rainbow is used to a Pinkie Pie party and she just liked a change of pace. She even tells Pinkie n”no offense” when she says she wants Cheese as her new party planner.

While it may seem like it, they don’t just prefer the new guy out of nowhere. However, hey do ditch Pinkie a bit too quickly, and they apologize for that. However, it’s Pinkie learns the more important lesson. In these stories the moral is “Don’t be jelly” but this has a few others along with it.

After Cheese takes her audience, Pinkie starts questioning her own worth. And after a couple minute, she sings a sad song and decides to give up. …Yeah, that’s the only flaw. Pinkie gives up WAY too quickly. However, it still works because the song is so damn good. We’ll get to that in a minute.

So Pinkie decides to upstage Cheese by challenge him to a Goof Off at high Noon…er 3:10. As in, a contest where they just goof off, and Rainbow decides who gets to plan her party. As stated in the Goof off Rulebook..

“She has a rule book for just about everything”

Long story short, no one wins because Pinkie’s antics put Rainbow in danger. Pinkie then realizes that SHE was in the wrong the whole time. She let her pride get in the way of actually making Rainbow happy with a party.

“No. I’m sorry I let my pride get in the way of you having the best birth-iversary ever. Cheese Sandwich really is a super duper party planner, and he’ll be a terrific headliner. I should’ve been a big enough pony to admit that and let you have your day. “

Usually when this type of story says our hero in a in the wrong, it falls flat. But it works here…because it’s kind of true. All Cheese did was show his stuff, and she let her pride get the better of her. But the odd thing is, you root for her because you feel bad for her. Cheese is so seemingly better that she thinks she shouldn’t be a party planner anymore.

And thanks to that sad song, we are on her side. But seeing her almost hurt Rainbow makes us realize that she was in the wrong for trying to upstage Cheese. That’s pretty impressive, really. I bet someone had found ways to say this story sucks but for me, it was way better than expected with these cliches.

Of course, they assure Pinkie that while Cheese is a great party pony, Pinkie is their best friend, and Ponyville’s peromany party pony.

“. Nopony could ever take your place, and we could never have a party without you.
“ Rainbow Dash is right. I never meant to take your place in Ponyville. “

That leads us to the twist. Spoilers, but at this point, you’ve turned away to write angry comments, if you care about spoilers.

As it turns out, Cheese became the party pony he is today, because of a party he saw in Ponyville…being thrown by Pinkie Pie.

“So I was the pony that threw the awesomely spectacular party that inspired you to become an awesome spectacular party thrower?’

Now that’s a great twist. It makes Cheese very interesting, as he was only doing this to impress his idol, in a way. His back story is interesting and this adds depth to a character I didn’t think would have any.

And so we have our happy ending, and oh look it’s a key episode. Cue polka filled credits. So yeah, this episode was awesome.

Not only is it very funny, with a great performance by Weird Al, with good songs, but it has a surprisingly good story that twists some old cliches. No one is the bad guy here, and they make you root for Pinkie while still making her in the wrong.

And oh yeah, it’s a musical episode. Not quite as big Magical Musical Cure, and while the songs in that one were better-.

…Anyone else hear an explosion?

-this was still great. The songs move the story along fine, and they are all good. Yes, Weird Al gets the best ones, and oddly enough, he didn’t wrong them. Yet he sounds like he did, which is impressive. My favorites are “Super Duper Party Pony,”, Cheese’s true intro, and “Pinkie’s Lament” the aad one. Though I also like “The Goof Off” for two reasons:

1. It has the best gag in anything ever. I won’t ven spoil it.

2. Cheese sings the Smile Song.

“That’s my song!”

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about’/

I want a Weird al pony medley. Thanks MA Larson! …I mean Meghan McCarthy. I mean Amy Keating Rogers! Bah.

It didn’t need to be a musical, even more so than MMC, but you got Weird Al, so you may as well use him. By the way ,as a side rant to the makers of the most recent itunes Soundtrack:

You had several songs, many of them sung by Weird Al. And which one made it on the soundtrack? The Auto Tuned pop song at the end no one remembers. H, i’s good in it’s own right but…seriously?

But Overall, this episode is just as great as everyone says it is. It’s funny, it’s catchy, it has a good story, and it has Weird Al. It’s just awesome.

Though to be honest, I almost put FTTF above it, for being more emotional. When it ended, I was still thinking about awesome it is. With PP, that happened, but it was more of “Well that was awesome” feeling than anything.

So why is this higher? It’s easier to enjoy, I suppose. But why, it’s awesome no matter how you slice it. It takes an odl story and makes it work, by adding good writing and Weird Al.

Not much else to say. When the Brony fandom unanimously likes something, it’s a big deal. Glad it went to an episode that deserved it.

It’s good.

So what the hell could top that? Well, the Pony savvy guys reading this may notice there’s only one notably good episode left. So yeah, you already know.

My Number one MLP Fim Season 4 episode is….

1. Twilight’s Kingdom

Writer: Meghan McCarthy

MR ENTER: zomg, Ten out of ten, best episode ever!

…Not sure if I would go that far bu HOLYSHITTHATWASAWESOME!

…Yeah, let’s talk about it.

Twilight Sparkle laments her unfulfilling duties as a princess, but Celestia, Luna, and Cadance affirm that she will have a duty to serve. News arrives that Tirek, a powerful centaurian foe from Equestria’s past, has escaped from Tartarus and is draining magic from ponies to grow stronger. They send Discord to take care of him but….well, a lot of shit ensues.

I’ll be hones. For once, I don’t know where to begin. There’s so much awesome-ness to talk about it, guys. So I aplolgoize if this section is more clutterd than the others, which is saying a lot.

I suppose I might as well narrow it down by the three main Elements that make it worth.

1. Tierk

This show has had a reptuon for hit r miss villains. Nightmare Moon was arguably the most interesting due to whole villain thing, but she wasn’t the most badass thing ever. Discord is amazing but he turned good so he doesn’t count. Queen Chrysalis is pretty awesome but some say hwer plan made no sense. Sombra is said to be boring, Sunset Shimmer is just an Alpha-Bitch, and Mane-iac wasn’t meant to be taken seriously so she doesn’t count.

People have noticed that the 2 big villains people hate (Smbra and Sunset Shimmer) were penned by Mrs McCarthy herself, so thus, it’s said that making her villains is her weakness. Yet she seems good at using villains others have created (See: Discord in Princess Twilight Sparkle, Three’s a Crowd, and this).

So she figured she may as well dig something out of the depths of G1, and we have the best villain the show has had to date. But sense he’s taken from the best Non-G4 villain, that’s not shocking.

Since I’ve kind of reviewed Triac’s debut, I may as well compare the two. They so are different, that Tirek may as well be an original villain. Tirac was mostly about scaring the crap out of people and capturing people with a rainbow of darkness, and turning them into dragons for no reason.

Tirek is more about manipulation, and getting shit down himself. Sure, Tirac did stuff but he mostly had his weird dragon monster things do to work for him, and when he went out to take over, he tasted the rainbow, going down fairly easy.

Tirek was able to get a former villain to join his side, and while he had help from him, he was still able to suck out the power from all the ponies by himself. Tirac is pretty badass, but mostly compared to what I expected.

Tirek is just badass in general. He’s an awesome presence, that can be manipulative and super powerful. I honestly saw him as a real threat, and I was on the edge of my seat as he got even more powerful, He’s just so amazing.

Sure, he aint’ got a complex back story, but a good villain just needs to be smei-interesting and BADASS to be worth my time. Besides, he kind of has a backstory. He and his brother Scropan came to Equestria to take it over, but Scoropan fell in love with the ponies (Okay, that’s directly from G1) and turned on him. So Tierk was banished into Tartus.

How did he escape? Well, in the Season 2 Episode “It’s About Time”, Cerbus left his post. Yes, that episode said that a version of HELL exists in this world. This is still for little girl’s, right?

Anyway, Tierk was able to escape due to that. Yes, a minor little thing from one episode that people forgot about, had a huge impact on the plot. Damn. Hey wait a minute. Discord was the only one who could defeat Tierk, and Twilight being an epic Alicorn was the only backup plan.

…That means Celestia had them reform Discord, and gave Twilight a test to become an Alicorn, cuz she knew about Tierk and made sure they could stop him if he gets powerful.

….Wow.

Anyway, the short version is that Tierk is a badass. And now onto my 2nd thing./

2. Twilight (and the Key Arc)

Twilight certainly got some development in Princess Twilight Sparkle, as they established that she would still be the same after growing wings. But here she got some of her bes t development to date.

As I said, her role as a Princess isn’t adding up to all that much. Wait, didn’t fans bitch about that, as I discused way earlier? Whoa, it was on purpose! THESE WRITERS ARE INSANE GENUISES!

….The princess assure her, through an amazing song(I won’t talk about it later, so I’ll get it out of the way now) that she is important, but Twi still isn’t sure. Then they discover the whole key thing, and Twi realizes that she hasn’t gotten hers yet.

This is where the keys thing comes in. Everyone has had their key (Rarity’s is a spool of thread, Rainbow’s is a Wonderbolts medal thing, Applejack’s is one bit, and Pinkie’s is Cheese’s Rubber chicken, boneless) in those episodes, and here they tell us that. We were the ones that figure it out, the show hadn’t said that yet.

I put the Key Arc up there, as I didn’t want to mention it anywhere else. This episode resolves it in a very nice way. While the other members of the Mane 6 don’t do a lot in this episode, they do a lot in the other episodes that affects this one. They did something involving their elements, and they got something that will help open the box. So they pretty much did their share of the work, so get off your lazy ass, Miss Sparkle!

…So yeah, the key thing was cool here. Before has a chance to think twice about the keys, Tierk shows up and starts taking all the magic. And loooong story short, the princesses give Twilight their magic, so she hide it from Tierk. Too bad they forgot that there is a little picture of Twilight right in that big ass room. Good thing he missed it until the plot told him too.

Despite that nitpick, doing this made sense for reasons Enter went into. As a side note, which his review if you have questions I skip over. That, and it’s one of the best reviews of anything ever.

Twilight hides but eventually Tierk finds him thanks to that pictu”re, and…he blows up her tree/library.

A FEW EPISODE EARLIER:

“None of those ponies had anything valuable enough to trade for my books. Not because these books belong to a princess, but because they helped make me who I am…..I may not ever need to read these again, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have value.”

…Ouch.

Holy shit, this was awesome. That thing was the center of a lot of adventures for her, and it’s just…gone! I thought that soing this was an awesome move on their part.

…Yes, I know about the petition. Don’t remind me.

So Twilight gets mad? How Mad? She runs at him AND BLASTS HIM WITH A FUCKING BADASS Beam. And then it leads to an epic DBZ fight scenes that ruins the landscape, and has them blasting each other left and right!

HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLY-

….Sorry. But let’s think about this for a minute. This show has had figt scenes before, but this scene has bee n compare to Anime, like Dragonball Z. DRAGONBAL Z! MY LITTLE PONY CAN BE TRUTHULLY COMPARED TO DBZ!

That is amazing. It’s the best fight scene in MLP. And I love that I can say “Fight scene” and “MLP” in the same sentence!

…Anyway , long story shorty, stuff with Discord happens, and they get the key to open the box. And it contains a badass rainbow power which they use to blast Tierk into hell for good. This is almost as awesome, though I will agree that the rainbow powers look kind of dumb.

In the end, Twilight finally realizes that she has a role in Equestria: Princess of Friendship. Meaning, she has the power to unite people as friends. So she went from Bookworm who knew nothing about friendship into an Alicorn Princesses who can harnesses enough power to fight an epic villain, and unite ponies as friends.

Damn.

Her development in this episode was really good. It was on it;s own, addresses something that bugged fans, but it really capped off everything she had learned in the past 4 Seasons. It has wonderful and it showed just why Twilight is best pony.

…But Fluttershy is still my favorite.

And last, but certaintly not least.

3. Disord

Speaking of development, holy crap. Any complaints I had about KCAFO are gone, cuz this did the same arc 1000000 times better.

Tierk uses the old trick of telling the reformed villain that is weaker now, and that he should be a bad guy again. Discord had shown to faithful now, at least to Fluttershy (see, he’s on my side) so why does he change sides like that?

Well the rest of the episode makes that clears. Discord had a nice friendship going on, but he didn’t have the true power he did before. Tierk offers some power AND friendship, so Discord gives in and becomes evil.

Now, people have been arguing over whether Discord had a plan or not. What do I think? I think he’s Discord, and he was doing whatever Discord wants. I think at first he planned to betray Tierk latter, but got sucked into his promises of friendship But he payed the price later.

But before that, he captured and mane 6 ,and we had this moment:

“Surely you must have seen this coming”

FLUTTERSHY: I didn’t. I really didn’t.

God. Damn. It. It may seem small, but it lines up with the most emotional moments in the whole series. Applejack holds Fluttershy as she cries during this, and the look on her face say DISCORD YOU WILL DIE.

….What?

As expected, Tierk turns on him, even though he gave Discord a freaking medal as a sign of their friendship. And he takes away Discord’s magic to make it worse.

APPLEJACK: Surely you saw this comin’.

“I didn’t. I truly didn’t.”

Look, there’s only so many times I can GOD FUCKING DAMNIT in one post. It’s…heartbreaking to say the least.

And then we have this bit later on, as Discord is captured along with everypony else:

“We aren’t worth it!”

“Oh, but you are, Fluttershy. You’re the pony that taught me that friendship is magic. -I had magic and friendship, and now I don’t have either.”

Yeah, this is one of the msot amazing things ever. You get it. And to cap it off, after Twilight gives up her power to Tierk in exchange for her friends…

“Tirek tricked me into believing that he could offer me something more valuable than friendship. But there is nothing worth more. I see that now. He lied when he said that this medallion was given as a sign of gratitude and loyalty. But when I say that it is a sign of our true friendship, I am telling the truth.”

Okay, I’ll cut to the chase. Discord’s development is excellent here. His stuff in Keep Clam was okay but this is what it should have been. Wait, people said that KCAFO should have been 2 parter, to flesh out his reformation.

…Meghan McCarthy, you insane genius.

Every step of the way, his development was incredible. He really did learn that nothing is worth more than friendship, and he learned it the hard way,. It has many heart breaking moments, and it’s just awesome.

Infact, this may be the most story arc we’ve seen in the shoo. Yes, really. And those are my main 3 points, and in the process I just gushed about single little thing in this episode.

Yeah, sorry this was so ….cluttered. Let’s just wrap this up. There’s another song, that’s catchy I suppose, where we see all the characters from the key episodes that lead us here. Yes, even …the Breezies, which is weird since this happening cuz a rainbow is spreading all over the land, the Breezies are kind of in another realm. Dimension traveling rainbow?

When the song ends, so does the episode. It’s a bit rushed, but it works. And it’s only a nitpick n this otherwise amazing episode.

I’ve pretty much said everything I need to say. But I need to address one more thing. A lot of people say that the two parters are a lot alike, and this episode was just checking the boxes. Silver Quill even made a Mad ibs for it!

While I do agree they tend to hit the same notes, I didn’t realize it until someone pointed it oiut. And honestly, this does it better than the others. Mostly because it gave Twilight’s dilemma lot more weight, it gives us extra development with Discord, and it raises the stakes, making us care more.

And it has one of the best fight scenes ever, showing off some of the best flash animation I’ve ever seen in my life. So now, it isn’t “Calculated” at all.

And that’s part of why it’s so good. It takes the traitors of the other 2 parters and takes it up to 11. It makes it stand out, and I like that.

Well, I think I’ve gushed enough. I pretty much spoiled every little scene, as I always do. Overall, this Season Finale was fantastic. It had a great story, great development, great conclusion to a story arc, and great….everything!

From the minor Comedy moments, to the epic fight scene, it has everything I could want. While all the other episodes on this list hit my good buttons, either for Comedy or Emotion, this one had the latter in spades. It had many “big dumb smile on my face” moments, which only Flight to the Finish accomplished prior.

I’m not sure if it’s my favorite episode , I would need to re-watch some to decide, but it’s still amazing. Al that and more makes this finale, the episode episode of this awesome Season.

And that was my list. Hope you enjoyed me stating everything everyone else has said, and spoiling everything or those not into the show yet. Overall, it was a great Season with a lot of fantastic moments, and proof the show is only getting better.

I’m very much looking forward to Season 5, and what it has in store. I mean, it will have Episode 100! That’s gonna be awesome I the mean time, we always have Rainbow Rocks!

..I’m kind of looking forward to it.

Now, you may wondering: What are my favorite episodes of the other Season? Well..

COMING SOON: TOP 15 MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC EPISODES (SEASONS 1-3)

See ya.

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Haunting Hour Season 4 Retrospective

(Remember how that “So the Drama” review got stolen by ….something? Yeah, it happened again. It’s not as bad this time, as I only wrote 2 sections, and started on another when I lost it. I was pissed, but I only re-wrote one section cuz I was SO PROUD of it. So yeah, I’m sorry.)

Hello, Spongey here.

Well, it looks it’s that time again. Season 5 is actually coming soon (though with my luck it may be out by the time this is out).

(It’s not out yet. HOLY SHIT I GOT SOMETHING DONE)

Yeah, I started this awhile ago due to my laziness, and then losing the DVR’d episodes, caused it to be late.

But hey, it means I don’t have to do a whole thing about why Season 4 being over was odd. Why is this Season so short? Well, Season 4 is actually Season 3 part 2. These are Season 3 episodes that aired overseas and didn’t are in the states until now. So they just made another season out of those missing episodes.

For further proof, let’s look at the numbers of episodes per season.

SEASON 1: 20

SEASON 2: 16

SEASON 3: 12

SEASON 4: 12

Add up Season 3 and 4 and you get 24, which is not only as long as a normal season, but the LONGEST season! So there you go. By the way, The Hub’s Sneak Video for Season 5 called it Season 4. So…this may be Season 3. I don’t know.

The only downside to the Season is that the lack of a 2 part episode made it feel shorter than it actually was. Otherwise, this was a surprisingly solid season. There are at least 3 episodes that could make it on a top 15 list, or at least on the runners up.

That’s not too bad. I’ll go more into Season 3 vs 4 in terms of my ratings later. I’ll just say that each episode, again, had some special and unlike Season 3, none of the episodes were weak. Well, sort of.

But with that out of the way, let’s dig in…with 1 episode being unexplained for reasons already explained.

This, is Haunting Hour Season 4 Retrospective

By the way, I realize these are mostly Recaps rather than normal Reviews, so keep that in mind, because SPOILERS.

(As a heads up, the titles are in Italics, because this new wordress thingy doesn’t like underlining.)

Seance

Director: James Head

Writer: Meolody Fox & Tim Shell (Story)

Carla’s older sister Namoi is holding a Seance with her friends while their parents are away, and Carla wants it. They first reject her because she gets scared often, but eventually they give in. After the Seance, Carla vanishes and the other suspectt that the man that they weere trying to contact with the Seance is coming.

This is likely the weakest Season Opener, and close to being the weakest of the Season (though one coming up is close). It’s a solid B episode, and it has a B+ ending, but it feels like a Season 1 episode. That’s not bad, but that also means it is solid and nothing else.

I have no issues, but it some generic bits here and there. Some are part of the fun but some of the cliches with Carla are a bit off. She’s a typical little kid who wants to be with her asshole sibling for no reason, and pays the price. But she’s decently likable, and she becomes awesome at the end. She’s played by Joey King, who I remember from Ramona and Beezus. She’s cool.

The first half is spent on the Seance, and the build up to it. It starts out typical, but fun. The older characters, (one of which is played by another bitch, Patty Farrel from Wimpy Kid) are assholes and use dated slang, but it makes them fun. The Seance itself is pretty cool, with great atmosphere.

They are planning to talk to One Leg….name I forgot. Let’s call him Leg ghost. He was a lazy worker dude who was caught drinking on the job and long story short, he got his leg sawed off somehow and he died of leg lose, somehow. Now his ghosts wears a peg leg and is out for revenge. It makes more sense in context.

Also, a kid’s show just referenced drinking. I’m not shocked at this point.

Predictably, Carla is pranked into thinking Leg ghost is there and they move on. Naomi and her friends watch a scary movie while Carla sits in her room thinking about leg ghost. Eventually scary things happen and we supposedly see Leg Ghost snatch up Carla.

The rest of the episode is like a typical horror movie, with the kids being scared by a ghost and getting picked off. However, this part is the best because it’s a fun homage to “classic” horror flicks. It’s not funny about it, but it manages to be the fun kind of spooky. It has a scream vibe to it, since they were watching a horror movie, and now they are living it.

It’s a bit cliché, but unlike other bits in this episode, it’s the good kind. By the way, near the end they try to think of how the kids in the movie escaped, and one says that they just get killed. The other reminds them that it was the original where that happened….and we are told the same thing somehow happened in the sequel.

That’s funny.

Not much happens until the end, where Carla shows up with a peg leg, revealing that leg ghost got here. This is the scariest part, as Evil Carla is pretty threatening, and it’s a cool comeuppance moments. Can you guess what happens next?

The correct answer should be the following: It turns to be an prank from Carla. Pretty cliché, and what happens next is also a bit cliché but it works better. How did Carla do this? She had help from leg ghost.

He pops up and..

“That was funny”

So is his line read. Seriously, it’s done this kind of… weird voice that makes it funny. Then it becomes scary once he attacks the kids, and the credits roll. Pretty basic, solid ending. Reminds me of The House of No Return only, you know, better.

There isn’t much to say, plot-wise here. It goes the way I just said. It’s basic, with some solid touches. The atmosphere is very good, setting the mood nicely. That makes this episode a solid watch, as the script is kind of basic.

There’s nothing too bad here, but it has cliches that drag it own. A more simple plot with less cliches would make this episode better. Also, the ending does work as the whole “it’s a prank but the ghost is there” thing does make it work. It’s a cool comeuppance ending that does a cliché well.

The start is just typical, and the episode itself is one of the more average entries in this series. Kind of like “Walls” or “My Sister the witch” and while those gave me more to like (The hilarious ending in the former, and the kid liking his sister in the latter) this is a bit more memorable in terms of overall presentation.

But if this was Season 1, no one would remember it the way no one remembers those. Of course, people would be kinder to it since Season 1 has more eps like this. This Season lacked pure horror episodes such as ‘Dreamcatcher” “Girl in the painting” or “Lights out” but the small scary stuff like in this, make up for it.

Plus, the writing is still decent. Overall, this is a basic episode, but it works because of some decent scares and passable writing. Not much to say, as the episode whelmed me that much.

It’s alright.

Grade: B

Detention

Director: Neil Fearnly

Writers: Craig S. Phillips and Harold Hayes Jr.

This was the main section that got lost. I’m redoing it because this episode was worth reviewing twice.

A Goth named, Audrey a Jock named Halftime, some nerdy dude, and an Alpha Bitch named Kate walk into a detention. They don’t recall why they are there, and soon they find out…and it ain’t pretty.

This is one of those episodes where the ending is the reason why it is amazing. But I’ll try to pace myself. When I hear the premise, I thought it would be like ‘School Spirit” from Nightmare Room, but trust me, it’s not.

Well, it is actually more similar than you would think ,but that’s a review for another time.

At the start, I’m already liking this episode. We have these characters exchanging some fun banter before the creepy stuff sets in. There’s a great scene where the teacher is telling them about Detention. He gives no fucks at all and he’s like “I don’t care what you do, just shut up while I go fap”

I made up the last part but still. He’s great but the episode only gets better from there. Some may find the stereotypes annoying, but I thought they were a lot of fun. Sort of like The Breakfast club but….not.

Their banter was enjoyable, but my favorite character by far is Kate. She’s the Alpha Bitch and my god is she amazing. She’s hot and her actress steals every scene she is in. She’s so condescending to everyone that it’s awesome. The banter with her and Audrey is especially good.

But she even gets a good arc by the end, but we’ll get to that. Anyway, this episode mostly has the kids walking around trying to figure out what is going on. The tension is high as creepy things happen, and the 2nd half is nothing but gold.

At one point early, Kate just leaves only to bump into that teacher. Once again he is amazing as he just says Kate doesn’t like following rules. Then Kate just bitches at him like a bitch.

“My allowance is bigger than your salary”

After that, something grabs her and boom, she’s gone. This is where the episode goes from good, to very good. I won’t recap everything from here to the end but I’ll go over this great scene.

Audrey and Halftime bond a bit because she likes Halftime’s sports radio show…thing. She then reveals that she was once in ___’s Alpha Bitch pack. Infact, they were really solid friends. But one day, this eager new girl was invited to a sleepover with them and the bitches shaved off her eyebrow.

Audrey took pity and shaved her own eyebrow. Kate kicked her out of the Alpha Bitch squad, and they have been enemies ever since. See, here we see our characters actually grow beyond their stereotypes. We see that she was kind of nice once but she clearly got too bitchy-y and shit went down because of it.

This is a great scene because It is the turning point in the episode. Get ready, we’re almost at the twist. The kids find out they can’t find a way out of the school, they don’t remember how they got detention, and all the textbooks are empty.

By the way, there’s this nerdy kid who hasn’t said much until now, when we find out he’s from….another realm. What do I mean? Well, the characters suddenly remember everything and we find out what is going on:

See, Halftime stuffed the ballot boxes for homecoming queen, to get into some party but once she got the crown, she dumped his ass. I say that as set up for this bit of info: Audrey was sick of Kate’s shit, so during the homecoming float, she played a little prank…that made the float go out of control.

They all died, and as it turns out, this “Dentition” is purgatory.

HOLY. SHIT.

This twist….is amazing. It may very well be the best twist in the whole series! Really! It’s a complex, dark and daring turn for this show. I love it when show that seems to have hit every high it could it, it hits an all new high. Sure, we had shockingly complex stuff before, but this is an episode talking but Heaven, Hell, and all that!

And it’s not just that idea. It’s an interesting look at these characters that went from good to bad, Halftime became bad because he helped a bitch-y chick. Audrey became bad by stooping to her level, and Kate is self explanatory.

It gets even better. After they find that out, they are taken back to Earth where they see the aftermath of their deaths. Kate is found here, as a car shows up to take her….downstairs. She tells the gang that she knows she is a bad person, and she thinks she deserves this.

Yes, she’s willingly to go to hell to pay for her mistakes. ….THIS SHOW.

Audrey tells Kate that she’s not a bad person. She reminds her that used to be real friends. Through this speech, Kate changes her mind and decides not to go to hell. Then some…time thing happens that takes them to the morning of Homecoming, before they all died.

This isn’t explained but I can live with it. The episode ends with the Nerdy guy as the doors to the school close. Roll credits. I have no idea that Nerdy guy is. He might be Death for all I know.

So yeah, this may be the most complex episode the series has done. Everything about the ending alone is great. This episode has so much that I like. Good characters, fun banter, a good story, decent scary parts, and complex themes.

This episode is quite and touches on themes I never thought I would see in this show. Seriously, we life, death, hell, and purgatory, all in one episode! It pretty much sums up everything great about this show.

It never talks down to kids, and it gives them complex content that challenges them. It’s a fantastic episode all around. It has interesting themes, great characters, and it’s just one of the best episodes…period.

….i like it.

Grade: A

Funhouse

Director: Micheal Robinson

Writers: Erik Patterson and Jessica Scott

This one of the ones that got deleted. I don’t wanna redo it so i’ll give you cliff notes. This makes up for the writing team’s last failure. It has a dude dealing with the fact that his dad flat out left, and it’s a really interesting story where he has to stick together with his sister to get through the pain.

Also, an evil funhouse feeds his anger and makes him an evil asshole. It’s another deep episode that proves to be really scary. Only issue is that the main actor (who also acted crazy in Brush Madness) can be too hammy at times.

Otherwise, up there with Dentition as one of the best of the Season. Sorry you couldn’t see my full review.

Grade: A

Worry Dolls

Director: Neil Fearnly

Writer: Nicole Duboc

This is the last section to get eaten. I decided to re-write it as I hadn’t done much of it.

A Mom and Dad are always going off for work, which doesn’t please their kids, some boy whose name I forgot, and the Alpha Bitch from Girl Vs Monster. One day, they give her a present they found: Some “Worry Dolls”. Jodanna thinks they are silly until they start taking care of her worries, which sounds awesome, until they start proving that you should be careful what you wish for..

While this isn’t as deep as last couple episodes, it still managed to be solid with it’s themes. Seance is scarier but this did have a better script. So there you go. The whole “workaholic” thing is cliché but I enjoyed the way they did it here. Not to mention that they end up a putting a much needed spin on it.

See, one of the problems with this cliché is that the parents usually work hard to put food on the table yet they are seen as bad guys because ….eh? I don’t mind the cliché as much others, but I see their point with that.

This episode starts off by doing it straight but it soon subverts it. Later on, Jodanna talks to Mom about this and Mom says they work hard to keep a roof over their heads. They don’t hate the kids or anything, they just need to make money and all that, and the kids just don’t see it.

They don’t go any deeper into it after this scene but the dolls do show the kids that the opposite may be even worse. But creepy stuff happens before that. Their mean babysitter vanishes because Jodanna is worried that they will be stuck with her forever.

On top of that, she gets worried about her violin lessons, so the instruments ends up getting trashed. And of course, the dolls are there every time. Things start off alright, but it gets very creepy/funny when Jodanna worries about how the parents are rarely there.

Thanks to the dolls, the parents quit the jobs and decide to have the kids home schooled. It starts off fairly innocent…then it gets weird. Just the way the parents act is a combo of scary and funny. It was already odd with what I said, then shit happens.

For example, they want to have a simple movie night, but when the kids spend a bit too much time in their room (looking up Worry dolls) the parents um…go a bit crazy. By that I mean they bang on the door demanding the kids come out. And not in the “DO WHAT WE SAY” way. In “PLEASE WE NEED YOU” way…which is REALLY freaky.

Seriously, when the kids finally open the door, the parents are on the floor going “DON’T DO THAT TO US AGAIN”. It’s like the kid’s are an addiction. It’s hard to describe but on screen it’s…weird.

Does it get weirder? Well, eventually, the parents tie the gets up with tape to make sure they don’t get away while they are watching their movie.

…Nah, it’s all normal.

So yeah…it’s weird. Creepy weird or funny weird? Both. The way the parents act could have veered into the hammy zone and in a way it does, but to me, it didn’t. Mostly because of WHAT they were doing was so messed up that it stayed creepy.

Again, it’s hard to sum up with words, but their performances are handle that balance pretty well. It is meant to be kind of silly but scary so it works no matter how to see it. That’s how this episode went from fine to pretty enjoyable.

It adds to whole “Be careful what you wish for” thing, which in turn ties into the whole Workaholic thing I’ve been talking about. But before I go more into that, let’s go over how this episode ends.

Before they get taped up, they went through this whole thing looking up the dolls and all that. They were able to put the dolls in the fireplace, hoping to burn them but before they could do so, the parent ties them up.

A bit later, they suggest to their Dad that a roaring fire would make this family moment better. He agrees and (somehow not seeing the dolls) he sets up a fire. The dolls burn and boom, the parents are normal, and the nanny is back.

WHAT A CLIMAX!

But really, this is a fitting end so I’m cool. By the way, we never see how the parents react to their nanny vanishing nor does any question where she went. We just cut to Jodanna looking for traces the dolls.

She is worried the fact there is no trace but the brother is like “Calm down”. As you would expect, a doll pops up in her bed that night. She screams. Roll credits.

This is a typical “Gotcha!” moment but I like that it implies her worrying actually made the dolls come back. Kind of a “hoist by their own petard” moment there.

So yeah, back to the thing I was talking about. This episode kind of tells us that those Workaholic parents are working for good reason and we should respect their work and not shun them for it. Sure, in some cases they are really being distant but I like that they had the Mom give her side instead of just making her a bitch.

Like I said, it’s a “Be careful you wish for” thing. There is such a thing as too much attention, as they clearly learned. The brother is even glad when they parents are going back to work at the end.

Though, if they didn’t work so much, they wouldn’t have needed to get the evil dolls in the first place. Whoops.

My only issue is with this, is that nothing is resolved. The parents didn’t seem to learn anything and the kids are just like “whatever”. I wanted a final look at this issue, with the parents saying that, while they do need to be with their kids more, they shouldn’t be bashed for working so hard.

Now, this episode was almost a B cuz it’s just that kind of episode. But it got an upgrade for two things: How it handles the Workholic cliché and how insanely creepy the parents are. Their actions are so insane it becomes creepy instead of silly.

I figure this would be another ep that was a B+ when I first saw it, but turns into a normal B when I re-watch it. But actually, it got a tad better. The only other thing I have to add is that Katherine whatsherface was pretty good as a nice girl. I’m used to her being an Alpha Bitch but she pulls of a nice girl. She has some bitchy moments at the start, which she sells pretty well, of course.

Not much else to say. It’s not the best, but it takes an old cliché and does a new spin on it, while also giving us two creepy yet funny performances. It’s a solid entry in this season, even if it’s not in my top 5.

Grade: B+

Lovecraft’s Woods

Director: Neil Fearnly

Writer: Brandom Auman

Okay, I know what you thought of when you saw the title. I thought of that too but trust me, this episode has nothing to do with THAT lovecraft. At all. I think they named it that just to get that reaction from us. What is the episode about? Well…

On their way to a party, three teenagers, a gamer named Nicholas, a goth named Erica , and a brainy girl named Margaret find themselves in an unfamiliar part of the forest known as Lovecraft’s Woods, said to trap its victims with evil stuff.

Like Dentition, the ending is part of the reason I like this one, but this one a bit different. There’s really nothing to say about the scenes before the big twist. Telling you what the forest does kind of ruins the entire thing.

There’s no way to review this episode without discussing the “Twist’. So this one has a pretty big SPOILER warning, even more so than all the other sections. So there’s your warning.

Now, the twist itself is one of the more shocking ones in the series. To the point where I had no idea the episode would go in this direction. At the start, we get something akin to Detention. We have three characters that fit stereotypes, having some banter and we get hints of development to come.

I already liked this one from the start. Some of the acting is a bit weak but it gets better. We get some fun banter, and find out some stuff. Erica isn’t actually Goth, and she changes every week. We see that she just wants to git in, which is why she is dragging her friends to some party.

Right from all this, I expected a B, maybe B+ episode which is spooky and has some decent development. But what I got was…pretty different.

Basically, they got through the forest as they start being stalked by a weird creature. We find out the Wood’s are named ‘Lovecraft’s woods” cuz some couple with that last name got lost, and while the wife got out, the husband ended up being lost forever. Also, the wife was told she was gone for 2 YEARS.

I’d go into the theory they have for what happened to Mr Lovecraft, but I’ll get into that with the twist. I was liking this even more on a re-watch because of how tense it is. I felt real suspense as they ran around the forest and all that.

There’s just something about the way it’s done, that made me really invested in this. It’s surprisingly intense because you have no idea what is after them, or what will actually happen.

It gets even more interesting when Erica scratches herself on a tree branch and said scratch starts getting…bothersome.

Then they find themselves hiding in a shack, as some weird…thing outside is trying to get to them. In there, they find a keychain…that looks exactly like Erica’s. They randomly come up with a theory that honestly comes out nowhere, but it turns out to be true so i’ll get it in a quick second.

After more tense stuff, they find a journal. They think it’s from Mr Lovecraft at first, but they find who it is as they read it. The person who wrote says that they are changing. A …scratch from a tree has infected the person. They started change.

“This place really does loop in time”

WHAT A TWE-

Wait, there’s more.

Not only this person get in a time loop, and get turned into a creature thanks to these evil woods but then they see this line, as paraphrased by me.

“I shouldn’t have dragged Margret and Nicholas to that stupid party!”

WHAT A TWEEST!

That’s right. It turns tout hese woods make whoever comes in, loop in time and repeat whatever they were doing, forever. The creature that was after them was really Erica who got turned into a monster from some tree.

Before I got into this twist, let’s wrap up that plot. This is close to the end as other stuff happened, so this isn’t too rushed.

After discovering this, Erica starts to change. She tells her friends to go and find help. After some coaxing, they do so, thinking they memorized a map they saw on the wall of that shack. Short story shorter, they head out and suddenly, we’re watching the opening sequence again.

Only this time, it’s spliced in with Erica writing that journal entry and then going out to stalk her friends…and herself. Basically, we get the opening scene only from the POV of Monster!Erica.

The episode pretty much ends right there, on a HERE WE GO AGAIN note. Yep, they pretty much say they were repeating previous events and will keep repeating them forever.

First off, they heard something about a time loop in the forest, so that is why they jumped to that theory at one point. But there wasn’t that much set up except for the key chain. So it kind of came out of nowhere, but the twist itself is done well.

I didn’t see it coming from the firs few moments…unless you interpret the line where Erica says they might be attacked by rabid Ground hogs, as a subtle shout out to Groundhog Day.

…Which it might be. I mean, they show that line again at the end, while they skip other lines from earlier.

Anyway, this twist is pretty great. I didn’t see it coming, and it’s just really well done. While I was expecting something bigger with Erica’s development, this was good too. You most certainty feel bad for her as she turns into this creature. At the start we saw that she had trouble fitting in and through this, that issue just kind of gets worse.

So the moral is….Be yourself and don’t try to be like others or you’ll get trapped in a Groundhog day loop forest?

…Okay.

Anyway, this twist is pretty cool and it most certainly makes you a think…a bit too hard. I mean, when you really think about it, it doesn’t make it a ton of sense. We clearly see that the creature going after them was Erica from the earlier time loop.

Last I checked, it wasn’t possible for someone from one time loop to exist with a version of them from another one. Even if we buy into the whole “the forest is a bubble and going into it activities a loop” thing, this doesn’t make sense.

But even if you suspend your disbelief, I have another question: Why does Monster!Erica leave the journal she wrote in, in the shack? Wouldn’t it make more sense to give it to Margret and Nick so they’ll know your issue faster and all that?

I mean, you could just throw it at them and let them do the rest. …But whatever, I can forgive all of this since the twist is still pretty cool.

It’s unexpected, (somewhat) smart, it makes Erica sympathetic, and it just adds to how tense this episode is. The only bad thing is that since it takes up most of the episode, you can’t tell someone about it without spoiling it all. So even if I DIDN’T spoil the episodes a lot, I would still be talking about the ending here.

There isn’t much else to say, actually. I told you, there isn’t a lot to this episode. The only downside is that due it’s nature, it’s not very complex in the story and character department, much like Seance or other episodes like it.

But it makes up for it with a likable character, some tense stuff, and an unexpected, awesome twist. It’s basically just one of the similar B episodes with an almost A worthy edge. It’s like Detention: Starts out with fun banter but gets into some serious stuff later.

Not one of the best of the season, but it is the best B+ episode so far.

Grade: B+


Coat Rack Cowboy

Director: James Head

Writer: Jack Monaco

Ethan and his brother Brett are sent back to the days of the Old West, where an outlaw named John “Mad Dog” McCoy who was hanged for his crimes on the tree in Ethan’s yard, challenges him to a showdown at high noon after learning that his resting place has been cut down and turned into a coat rack.

This is one I didn’t have much expectations for, due to the title. But thankfully, it’s a pretty solid. It’s not the most complex episode of the season but I actually like it more than Worry Dolls and Seance because it’s…kind of scary, actually.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t get some story bits. At the start, we see that Ethan likes to make up crazy stories, which doesn’t please his Dad and Brother. They are big workers but Dad flat out says Ethan is too young for big work for why this was a plot point is beyond me.

They are chopping down a tree in their yard, but Ethan thinks something bad will happen somehow. It turns he’s right, as that night he gets the sense that something is off. Then when he and Brett go outside to check something else, they see that their enrivment has suddenly changed to be more Old West-y.

There’s even a saloon now! They look inside and meet Mad Dog Mccoy. As it turns out, that tree once hung this guy, an infamous gunslinger who killed 5 people with his bare hands. He shot the sheriff and that is why he got hung. He was sleeping the rest of the dead until Ethan’s Dad took down the tree and that brought his ghostly form here.

No, they never explain why the old west randomly dropped in.

Long story short, Mad Dog thinks Ethan was calling him out by bringing him here (I don’t get it either) and challenges him to a showdown at High Noon. (Of course). Now Brett has to help Ethan get ready for an epic old west showdown.

Now the first interesting thing to note, is that this episode his some big ‘ol black bars on the top and bottom when it airs. This wasn’t a mistake in the first airing, it’s part of the episode. I think it’s supposed to really help emulate the old west style, and it really works during the intense scenes.

But otherwise, it’s a bit distracting. Now, I wish they had picked a better title cuz while It does make sense, it makes the episode seem sillier than it is. In reality, it’s kind of scary and dark. I mean, we have a villain who was hung for killing people!

And there’s no doubt he planned to kill Ethan. Not to mention he flat out gives a GUN for the showdown. He never gets to use it during the fight but both guns featured in this get fired. You could NEVER get away with this in other shows.

But you know what really makes this episode? Two things. First off, the Atmosphere. They could have half assed the old west thing, but they went all out. The lighting, directing, and music all help to make this FEEL like the old west we know: Grainy, tough, and awesome.

I like seeing “Gritty” versions of the old west, and this certainty counts. Just the way everything looks is great and it’s very well done, especially during the moments leading to the “shoot out” at the end.

The other thing that makes this episode? Mad Dog himself. He is AMAZING. Not so much for the character himself, though he is badass and has some good bits I’ll get to an sec. But I love him for his actor.

He is played by the creepy world ending dude from Scarecrow, and IT SHOWS. Both episodes show how great of an actor he is, though looking at his IMDB page, he’s only been I in a few other things…one of which is on my to review list.

He steals every scene. He acts exactly like a true old school gunslinger. He’s intense, and every time he talks, you listen. For example, when Brett doubts he really killed 5 people, Mad Dog is like “You calling me a liar?”. Just the way he reacts, convinces you to never mess with him.

It’s hard to describe, but he’s just great. By the way, he’s shown to not like noise, which means he may or may not end the world over it.

Anyway, he makes this episode insanely intense for most it. Yes, it makes no sense for him to challenge Ethan but he’s still cool. We learn later on that he was a orphan, and he has no parents to tech him anyway. This is part of why he became an outlaw.

We get a bit more insight into his character later, but that goes in the wrap up. This episode has much less plot than I remember, it’s about as long as most episode. The first few minutes is set up, and next several minutes is our heroes talking to Mad Dog.

Then there’s a few minutes of MONTAGE, then the shout out, the end to said battle, and the final twist. On screen, it doesn’t feel like much happens before the climax. But I guess I didn’t mind it because the good stuff is so good.

After being challenged, Bett helps Ethan get ready for the fight with a MONTAGE. Brett says that while he hates Ethan sometimes, he’s cool with him most of the time. Plus, he doesn’t want him dead. Sweet! I think…

We get some comedy during the montage, as we see the rather inexperienced Ethan try the gun while we see Mad Dog just go crazy on that thing. It’s a cool contrast. But then we get the final battle….yeah, let’s go over this.

After a bit of stalling, Ethan talks to Mad Dog. Ethan tells Mad Dog that the shreiff he shot had two kids. He made two orphans that day. One died, and the other become an even bigger outlaw, making orphans.

“I …never considered the ramifications of my actions. …I don’t plan on starting now!”

I love that line, but back to the plot. Ethan goes on about how alone that poor kid was, and how he had to turn to a life of crime. How Mad Dog’s stubbornness lead to misery for everyone. He goes on until it finally starts to hurt Mad dog. He says something like this

“I didn’t mean…to hurt…”

And he finally goes over, finally dying for good, of his own guilt.

…Let’s wrap up this up first.

Brett is impressed but he asks how Ethan knew all that. He…didn’t. He made it up. Yeah, I’ll get to that in a sec. They go back inside and finally go to sleep. By the way, Dad left for the night so that is why he didn’t hear any of that crap outside.

Then suddenly, two more cowboys should up outside. One tells the other about how The “Sarsaparilla kid” took out Mad Dog without a shot. The other says that he will have to take on them soon. They walk away and the episode ends.

I won’t ask where they come from but I guess they happen to be other ghost cowboys for some reasons.

So yeah…I like the climax! I know it’s kind of Anti-Climatic, but it’s still pretty interesting. I mean, we get this guy who was an orphan, and he let those hard times ruin his life, as he becomes and outlaw. And the story Ethan tells is pretty interesting, as it actually gets Mad Dog to feel guilty for his actions.

“All because some sheriff called you a liar”.

Yeah, call Disproportionate retribution all you want but it shows how far he went. Yes, Ethan’s story turns out to be bull crap but it still got to Mad Dog, and that’s all that matters. It never comes across as cheesy and it actually works pretty well.

I think Mad Dog would make a “Top Haunting Hour villains” list Who would be number one? It depends. Does the scarecrow guy count as a villain? If not, then here’s a few that would still be on that list:

The Mom from Perfect Brother, Mom from Girl in the panting, Jake from The Dead Body saga, Fear from Fear Never Knocks, and of course Lilly D.

But back to this episode. Someone on Twitter compared the bit with Ethan’s story being fake to the end of “The Great Divide” episode of Avatar. He didn’t say it in a bad way though, and I see what he means. But in this case, it fits the character and situation much better,

It’s a bit of a cop out since the climax was so good, but for some reason. I’m cool with it. I mean, it pays off the “Ethan tells stories” plot thread pretty well, by having his story actually save the day.

Plus, it could very be true, and it’s just a funny coincidence. If they hadn’t set up this plot thread, and payed it off like this, this episode wouldn’t have too much substance with our hero.

Overall, this episode didn’t have much to it with the plot, but it made up for it. The atmosphere was great, the villains was scary, intense, and complex, and the plot is decently interesting. I didn’t expect this to be as good as it was.

Maybe it could have had more to it, but what was there is very solid. Not much else to say, but it’s a rootin’ tootin’ scary good time!

Sorry.

Grade: B+

Long Live Rock and Roll

Director: Neil Fearnly

Writer: Brandon Aumon

Holden is a boy with a garage band, but has no musical talent when it comes to playing lead guitar. After being kicked out the band by his dick friend Tibb (which angers his nice friend, Squee),he finds a coupon for 50% off any instrument at a music shop run by a rocker named
Not!Keith Richard aka Sir Maestro and buys a golden electric guitar that was once played by the likes of Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain. But Holden soon learns that Sir Maestro wants more than just money for payment on the guitar — and worse, Holden’s bandmates have been tempted with similar offers…

This is an example of an episode that switched between “Good” and pretty good. Not only as it went on, but as I thought about it. Maybe through this review, I’ll decide which grade it gets. Now, this one mixed a simple, non complex episode with a complex one.

At the start, we get a music video-er I mean, bit of the band performing. It’s not bad, actually. The song itself is talking about how it’s “all the same”. Keep that in mind for later. Holden screws up and Tibb (Real name Frankie) bitches about how he is starting to suck. Holden says it’s just the guitar, but Tibb says it might be Holden.

Squee (Real name Jessica) is more supportive but she can’t stop Tibb from kicking Holden out. Holden leaves, leaving the others to bitch at other. Then, conveniently, a flier for a music shop hits his leg, and he decides to go there. This is all before the opening.

Yeah, like Coat Rack Cowboy, this one is slightly rushed, and not a ton happens, but it is more eventful. Now, the whole thing with the band mate is hit or miss. On one hand, Tibb randomly switches from “okay” to “dick” for no reason, but on the other hand, the resolution is solid.

Anyway, Holden visits Sir Maestro’s Guitar shop and after a speech, he buys an awesome Guitar claimed to have been owned by Cobain and Hendrix. Given what we find out about Maestro later, this makes that comment…interesting.

Like in Coat Rack Cowboy, this establishing is long, but solid. Maestro has Holden sign a contract in Red Ink and says that in return, he simply wants a performance from Holden. Hmm..

He takes his badass guitar back to his band mates, and impresses them so much they take him back. Man, they are easily swayed. But when Holden starts kicking ass, his friends suddenly get weaker.

Also, Maestro shows up (claiming he was taking a jog and happened to walk by) and offers them some sick guitars of their own. Before we move, I’ll comment on the main thing that makes this episode good: Maestro himself.

His actor was previously in Brush with Madness (As Alan Miller…I think) and he’s really good here as an ex rocker type. He isn’t “scary” like Mad Dog but he is a lot of fun and he is especially good during any scene he shares with Holden, especially the climax.

Anyway, so far we’ve had decent build up and spooky stuff, hinting at what Maestro could be all about. Let’s ruin that by having him show up in Holden’s room and explain everything! Okay, jokes aside I don’t mind this, it just kind of ruins the pacing a bit. He basicaly tells Holden he wants his soul or something and he come back for Holden once he takes the souls of the bandmates, or something.

I don’t think they 100 percent explain the soul thing, but that’s what I can gather. I get that perhaps he knew about the bandmates before hand (Because magic) and he didn’t take Holden’s soul earlier cuz he wanted to get the bandmates involved first.

But why doesn’t he just take his soul in that part since the band mates are already headed out to his place? I mean, we see in the next bit he clearly planned to take the friend’s first but why? Ah, who cares.

Also, there’s a kind of creepy bit where Holden says he’s gonna call the cop but Maestro says he’s not even here, and vanishes. Nice.

Holden heads out to Maestro’s place and right in the basement is Tibb and Squee performing for him, soulless and dead eyed. He tells Holden when he’s done taking their souls, his turn is next.

A bit later, Holden challenges Maestro to a battle …of music. As in, an epic guitar playing battle where, if Holden wins, he and his friends go free. You can guess what happens is he loses.

Now, let me get this straight: Sir Maestro wants some souls, he makes Holden sign a contact in Red, and Holden has a music battle with him in his lair, which has epic red lighting.

Yeah….he’s the devil. Or at least a stand in. See, now this show is doing a deal with the freaking devil! Can it get any more amazing?!

Anyway, this whole scene is pretty good. I love the lighting and the actual battle is pretty badass, thanks to the POWER OF ROCK! It’s already an intense scene but Holden is forced to do it with his old, crappier guitar.

He still does good anyway which i’ll go into at the end. Eventually, Holden stops to have a “I know you’re in there somewhere” fight with the band mates. He reminds them of the good times they’ve had, and he even says this to Tibb. This is kind of cliché and odd, but it does add a sweet element to the story.

And yes, it works. They break out of their mind control and join Holden is taking on Maestro with the POWER OF ROCK! It”s pretty epic. They are able to out do him, meaning he works himself too hard trying to catch up and he break his guitar. This pretty much defeats him and he is supposedly sent back to hell.

Then the kids just play another a song….and roll credits! Yeah, it lasts a bit longer than I say but it really ends there! Now, the song they play is a reprise of the opening song but not it’s talking about how things are not the same and we’re free and stuff.

What does that mean? The opening was about how Holden is in a rut and all that, and now he realizes that it was never the guitar that was holding him back, it was him. So yes, they actually used the song to help show us his development.

Now you see why I want to give this one a higher grade. So yeah, this episode is a tad mixed for me. If it took all the things I’ve praised and amped it up, this would have been an easy B+. But as it is, I’m not 100 percent sure. It seems like it is a tad rushed and some things aren’t properly explained.

At times, it moves like a normal B episode, like Night of the Mummy but with some parts, it’s a B+. Like I said, it has a good villain, and some nice development but it falls short of being great.

It has everything a good episode needs with all the complexities in it. When I look back on it, the weak parts don’t stick out, though. My goal was to watch the episode again and review it and if I think back on and don’t remember the weak parts, it’s a B+.

So it is.

I don’t have much else to say besides what I’ve said already. I overall think the main character is well developed, the thing with the band mates is sweet, and I like the whole rock backdrop. So this is a pretty good one, even if it falls short.

Grade: B+

<strong>Dead Bodies

Director: Jason Furukawa

Writers: Jed Elinoff and Scott Thomas

PREVIOUSLY, ON THE DEAD BODY: Read my original review of that one. I’m lazy…but if you want the short version, this dude named Will is now dead cuz he switched places with this dead guy who is now alive again and he stole his girlfriend.

3 months later, Will is now a ghost and he’s watching as Jake romances Anna up some more. She has been wondering where Will is now, and now Will wants to take this chance to finally beat Jake once and for all. But will he succeed?

You might recall my review of The Dead Body, and how I said I didn’t get why everyone wanted a sequel. After all, the ending was about the same as usual for this show, so making a sequel seems pointless.

Well, I have to eat my words because this sequel was pretty damn good. However, upon a re-watch, I kept switching between two grades for it…so I watched it again. This episode mostly works because it’s much scarier than it’s predecessor, making it a perfect Haunting Hour episode.

They do an okay job getting us up to speed, and showing us what the characters have been up to since then. Though it does lead to clunky dialogue scenes, like when Ghost Will gives Anna a recap of the first one, just so we can have a recap. This is before she can see/hear him so that’s why it is clunky.

We see that Anna has been dating Jake, and this pretty much becomes that story where the girl is with a cute bad boy who is really a BAD boy but she doesn’t realize it until it’s too late. …I say it like it’s cliché but the only example I can think of is Danny Phantom. Shut up.

We see that Anna is trying to study for her SAT’s, to secure her future and all that. But her whole thing with this bad boy is distracting her. This gives her character some sort of depth, instead of just being the love interest. Granted, that kind of stops when it’s time for the climax, but ah well.

Most of the episode has Jake dealing with problems of his own. See, this …grim reaper thing (The credits call it a “Wraith” but whatever) shows up and it looks like it isn’t happy with how Jake cheated death. It gives Jake this weird deformity that gives him some troubles.

This gives the episode the “scare” factor the original was missing. This episode has 3 major “plots” going on that make it great: Anna dealing SAT’s, Jake, and Will’s dissapeanrece, Will dealing with Anna and being a ghost, and Jake dealing with this whole…Wraith thing.

“I may not be getting my life back, but it looks like you’re not keeping yours”

Why Death doesn’t just take Jake right away is anyone’s guess. But either way, it makes for good conflict. I said before that Jake is a good villain because he’s almost kind of tragic, and that continues here. He just wants to live but Death isn’t having any of it. Granted, he killed someone and took their girlfriend….but shut up!

There’s an even focus on each character, which makes the episode interesting. It’s very intense throughout, and it’s just overall more interesting than the first one. Though it does have flaws. For one, it has some cheesy moments with the acting, especially Brendan Meyer He’s good but some moments are a bit …off.

Also, there’s bad CGI and green screen at some points, but that’s nitpick. The biggest problem is the pacing. It feels less like an episode that happens to be a sequel to another, and a part 2 was delayed by 2 years. I mean, it gets started right away, and there’s a small bit of downtime before we get to the climax. After the Wraith visits Jake, (about a quarter into the episode), he visits Anna and boom, they go to the cliff, for the climax. The “Climax” takes up the rest of the episode.

It’s not a big deal, but it may bug some people. However, it’s not enough to weaken the episode for me, Anyway, Jake is having his life sucked out of him, so he takes Anna to a Cliff, and after a speech, he asks her to give him her soul. Anna, of course, says no, and Jake gets pisssed.

What I find interesting about this scene is how Jake is almost sympathetic here. He’s more or less testing Anna’s “love” for him. Yeah, he’s a bad guy but there seems to be more to him. I really like that.

Will sees this, and tries to stop Jake. And somehow, Anna can see and hear him now. Why? Well, Will yelled at Anna to reject Jake’s offer…so it was his love for? I don’t know, it kind of makes sense I guess.

So there’s an epic struggle, which ends with Death showing and taking Jake for good. This happens via a bad CGI effect. It’s still creepy though. And yeah, it seems anti Climatic but in context it works better than I make it sound. With Jake gone, a white light appears, and Will is ready to step into it. Will is about accept this, but it goes away, and suddenly, Will becomes alive again.

“It’s letting me live”

So yeah, Will was pretty much about to go to Heaven, and he was accepting of it but …God, I guess, let him live, as he wasn’t supposed to die in the first place….God damn, this show is amazing.

I know we had a bit like this, in this very season, but that was awesome. It was a dark, complex, and mature moment. This show is just…damn. It keeps impressing by doing sutff it’s already done. That is impressive.

So Will explains things to Anna and they live. And the episode ends with Jake’s hand popping out of the ground. JUMP SCARE!

Yeah, not much of an ending, but it’s okay. Really, I wonder where Will’s parents were in all this. We saw that Will’s disappearance has just been accepted, but how are they feeling? Their son is gone, and we never see them at all! How is Will is gonna explain this?

“A made a deal with this dude who made me switch places with him so I die in his place, and he took my life and my girlfriend”

“..’

That’s why there will never be a Part 3. That and they won’t top this. Normally, I’d be harsher due to the flaws, but honestly, this episode worked really well. While I like the first one fine, as it’s not meant to a scary episode like some others, this one topped it in in every way.

In continued the story in a way that I liked, each characters gets time to shine, it has some scary moments and sweet moments, and everything was very well written. It has good ideas and it’s very tense throughout. I was just more invested this time around, as it was a lot scarier.

Yeah, it has flaws, but overall, it was a great sequel that manages to be even better than the original. I’d put it on par with The Return of Lilly D, honestly. While I think this episode was over hyped, as in people were being too impatient about it, the wait was well worth it.

Grade: A-

My Robot

Director: James Head

Writer: Melody Fox

Phillip is a science nerd with a secret: he has a robot that he ordered online and programmed himself, but the robot turns out to be the one ordering Phillip around and Phillip needs his friend Tim’s help in destroying it.

This is another episode where the grades switched around, but in the end I made my choice. It has a few problems but overall, it’s better than it sounds. It gets off to a rough start, as we have some bullies picking on Phill.

The bullies are pathetic. They can’t act and they are laughable. They aren’t on screen for long but the whole opening segment holds the episode back. Thankfully, it picks up soon.

The first quarter has Phil telling some bullies he has a robot, and just a bunch of build up. It’s fine, I suppose, but it’s a tad slow compared to the rest of the episode. Eventually, Tim visits Phill’s house and we finally meet the Robot. This is where it gets good.

The Robot has kind of a silly design but it works for the episode. Much like Big Yellow, it has a presence to it, that makes it scary whenever it pops up. And what happens with it makes it even better.

I’ll just cut to the chase here. Phil created the robot to help him, and things were fine. But all Robots must turn against their creator, so it started being over protective. It forced Phil to adhere to a schedule, and it banned junk food, and forced him to exeriece and stuff. And it also kind of kicked his parents out. …Yeah.

I told you this is where it gets good. This whole situation is done really well, as it makes you sympathize with Phil. I mean, this robot he made kicked his freaking parents out! …Wait, how did n one notice that?

And why didn’t they go the police, and just leave out the robot part? Why doesn’t Phil call the cops? ….Okay, another problem with this is that it forgot logic. I can suspend my disbelief for a bit but I couldn’t forgot these questions.

The whole thing is very tense and as the episode goes on , you really get into this situation. The Robot is very creepy, as I said before, and you are right on board with this plot as they try to solve this problem.

This episode has elements that work pretty well, as you can see. It’s tense and it has an interesting little story going on, where you feel for the main character. Well, sort of. Tim is techaingly our hero, as it follows him helpign Phil. Honestly, I think that was a mistake.

I think it should have been all about Phil from the start. Show all of this starting, from building the robot, to kicking the parents out. It would be more interesting and answer my questions. Though in that case, they would have to change the ending…

Usually, I got over the plot, but I’ll skip to the ending, because I need to get this thing out before Season 5 starts. Long story short, they shut the robot down.

But then it turns back out. However, Phil claims it’s just rebootng, back to it’s factory setting. Before you ask why he doesn’t just keep it off, it suddenly locks on Tm. Tim tries to move, but the Robot keeps him there.

Phil says he is free, and he’s off to get his parents. The Robot traps Tim, while Phil leaves.

“You set this up!”

The end.

….I shouldn’t be shocked by these endings at this point.

This is an awesome ending. …But it also kind of sucks. On one hand, it’s awesome to see Phil basically trick Tim and turn on him, even though he was our symaphetic charzcter for the evening. On the other hand, the most sympathetic character turns into an asshole for no reason, throwing away logic. No, don’t just kept the robot off, and turn it into scrap metla. Just turn on you friend!

….Yeah, I’m conflicted. But honestly, the awesome-ness/unexpected-ness, of it wins out. If you hate the ending, I see why. But I thought it was cool. Though my mixed feelings on it make sense, given how mixed the episode itself.

While it has weak bullies, it needed a different focus, it has logic issues, and the ending has weird implications, it also has solid atmosphere, a likable lead and an interesting plot.

Overall, the good outweighs the bad. I like episodes that try to be scary in a different way, and this one worked fine. Yeah, it’s another Average episode from a mixed writer, but they can’t all be Dead Body, can they?

Overall, it’s an flawed episode that still brings the scares, and an interesting story. It’s not the best but it’s a solid entry in this season.

….I’m running out of bad puns to close out these things.

Grade: B

Bad Egg

Director: Neil Fearnly

Writers: Erik Patterson and Jessica Scott

An irresponsible boy named Angus, I mean Jason, is only one screw-up away from being shipped off to military school as per his strict father, which is why Jason needs to pass his egg-sitting assignment. Trouble is, the eggs donated to the school are rejects from a biochemistry lab harboring an ostrich-like monster that is not fit to live among humans. Now Jason must keep his father from knowing about his latest mistake while keeping the monster away from two government agents posing as pest control workers who want the monster back.

I’ll be honest, I have some problems with this episode. Oh, it’s a good episode but I like it less than I should. There’s one big reason but we’ll get to that in a sec. This episode is weird, as it’s a Comedy episode…then it’s a scary episode….then it’s a sweet episode. And it stays that way.

No, the problem isn’t the tone, but it is a bit confused at points. It starts in a Government lab, as some dumbass donates dangerous eggs to school, because he’s an idiot who can’t tell between evil eggs and normal eggs. But don’t worry, that’s the last of my logic issues….sort of.

Anyway, the first quarter is dedicated to our hero Jason being…kind of a dick. Or at least. Not a funny dick. I expected him to be “funny”, he is from the Disney Channel after all, but he’s a tad overbearing at times.

I mean, we establish that he’s not doing too well in school, and what does he do when he gets this important Egg baby? He fucks around with it. I know it’s part of his development, but this isn’t the best way to make us like your hero.

But trust me, he’s not the worst character in this episode. Jason is a bit too much of a dick at the start, but once the plot starts, he becomes more likable. And now we get to the real thing that pissed me off about this episode:

Jason’s Dad.

Now, you may recall my Morganville Vampires tribute, I talked about how people hate on asshole characters for no reason. They aren’t meant to be likable, so why hate on them like that’s not the point? It’s weird.

But here, I could of get it. Jason’s Dad is supposed to be a bit of a dick…but I fuckng hated him. Okay, so Jason is a bit of a screw up. We know that. But the minute he gets him, he [retty much tells him if he screw up one more time, he’s going to military school.

That sounds okay, but the way it’s written makes it seem way too unfair. And at no point does Daddy even consider that Jason isn’t a screw up. At one point, he sees that Jason is keeping the egg safe, and he just comments that Jason hasn’t screwed things up for once.

No “Oh good, you’re awesome” or anything like that. Every time he talks to Jason, he pretty much has nothing but contempt for him. This doesn’t sound so bad, but it is. Also, his Mom is more loving but she clearly has no say here. She’s also incredibly typical, with a pearl necklace thingy to boot.

I don’t wanna say he’s THAT kind of Dad…cuz that would be dark, even for this show. Plus, my hate for him doesn’t go THAT deep. …Let’s get back to the plot.

Of course, Jason gets the egg containing the evil monster, and the Government guys eventually show up to get the monster, secretly. Yeah ,the rest of this episode would not happen if they just told Jason/Dad that they are here for a big monster. More logic problems!

Anyway, it turns out the monster is harmless and cute, so of course Jason bonds with it, and must protect it from the Government guys. The episode gets good from this point on. While it is kind of cliché, it does get fun as things up.

I even liked their relationship. It’s not that complex, but you start to feel for Jason as he finally has a friend that understands him. It’s kind of nice. Jason does seem to develop, learning his lesson about being the way he is. Even with the endng, there’s a nice moment with him.

Yeah, let’s skip to the ending. Eventually, the monster (I can’t remember his name) runs away because Jason won’t be safe with the Goverment guys chasing them. So yeah, his new friend must leave and it’s all sad. But I must mention one scene first. Dad goes into the Garage to do something, and the monster pops up. He knocks Dad out with a paint can, but a bit with Jason later confirms he was attempting to hurt him …more.

NEW FAVORITE CHARACTER.

…Anyway, you honestly do feel bad for Jason as he’s lost his new friend. To make it worse, Dad comes in and sees that Jason broke the egg, and made yet another mistake. They don’t know about the monster because contrived.

Jason doesn’t make up an excuses this time. He admits he make a mistake again and we see that he has learned not to be all irresponsible and stuff. It’s actually a very nice moment, honestly.

And Dad doesn’t care, and tells him to go pack for Milarity school Yep, even after all that, he couldn’t even give a single crap about his kid. He just owned up to his mistake, and showed he isn’t going to make any excuses. Perhaps you could give him one more chance, as Mom suggests?

Nope, Military school. Go die, please. Look, I get it, but there was no need to make him this much of an asshole. Most Dad’s like this, at least seem like they care about their kid. But not this guy. Jason’s Dad, go fuck yourself.

…Let’s wrap this up. Jason goes to pack, but oh hey, his Monster friend pops up in the window. Why is he back here? I don’t care. Jason is happy to have his friend back. So what does he do? He packs him up, saying Military school won’t be so bad after all.

So he’s taking a semi-dangerous monster to Milarity school with him. That’s stupid….yet awesome! It’s a nice ending for Jason, to be honest.

Yeah, I’m conflicted on this one too. On one hand, Jason does grow out of his flaws, and he has some nice moments, and it’s rather sweet with a funny. On the other hand, the story is a tad messy and Jason’s Dad is WAAAAAY too much of a dick.

I think the story should have been about Jason and his Dad working together to protect the monster, thus leading to development for them. But no, make him the worst person ever. Great idea.

In the end, it is a good episode. But man, Jason’s Dad makes it hard to like more. I should be giving it as harder a grade…but I can’t. I’m usually the guy to say an episode is better than people say it is. If anyone were to bash My Robot or Seance, I’d use it’s strengths to defend it.

While I would do the same, if someone said they hated this episode, and used Daddy as a reason…I would see their point. Yeah.

However, it has a lot to like, and I can’t ignore that. In tone, it reminds me of “A Creature was Stirring”. It has humor, scares, sweetness, and the tone may be confusing to some. That episode was more focused (and I didn’t want to murder the Dad) but this one was solid too.

It’s a nice story with some sweet moments, and solid development. You just need to ignore the asshole Elephant in the room.

And an extent…i can. It just takes a lot of effort. But in the eye, it’s a good enough episode. Not great, but good enough.

Grade: B

Toy Train

Director: James Head

Writers: Craig S. Phillips and Harold Hayes Jr.

A boy named Logan and his father come to his Grandfather’s old house to pack stuff up. Logan discovers a toy train set in the barn, and that night hears a train pass by the house, although trains haven’t run there for twenty years. He has to get to the bottom of an interesting mystery.

This episode was a bit fresh of air after the last two. It’s pretty great. But of all the “Great” episodes, it’s one of the more underwhelming. Oh, it’s really good, but it’s a bit simple in terms of it’s story. A bit too simple in some places.

But it still works, and that’s that counts. That episode is rather low key before the ending. As I said, it’s very simple, but it works due to the ending, which we may get to sooner than usual.

So we got a kid and his Dad, and guess what, the Dad is distant. You know part of where it’s going now. One day, Logan hangs out by the train tracks and meets a kid named Henry. The twist with him is a bit predictable once you learn that he hasn’t heard of certain Modern things. Not to mention that he often hears the train even though they say it hasn’t ran in years.

Most of the episode has Logan dealing with the fact that this toy train turns on whenever the train comes by, and stuff like that. It’s one of those “hard to summarize” episodes, that make me wish I did video reviews.

But it has decent build up and good atmosphere, so I can forgive it. This creepy Switchman dude starts stalking Logan, leading him to believe something is up. He finds an old newspaper saying a Switchman died in a train accident, making him think he awoke him from the dead, and he’s after him.

Spoilers, that’s actually not the case. But the episode a good job at throwing you for a loop before the big twist. And now let’s buildd up to it. Dad doesn’t buy it and forbies Logan from going to the tracks,’

He goes to the tracks. But while he’s there, dealing with stuff, Dad faces our twist. As it turns out, when he was a kid, he got stuck when a train came by, and a Switchman saved his life…by sacrificing himself. Since then, Dad blamed himself and he always wanted to thank him, but that never happened. This caused him to be a bit distant with his son later in life, and of course prevent him from going to the tracks.

And in the climax, the Switchman shows up, as he was visiting Dad the whole time. …Yeah, it’s one of those really dark, and deep episodes. Man, this show is awesome. Now, this is a very well done, unexpected, and dark twist.

It’s somehow both predictable and unexpected. Predictable because of the whole with Henry. The dad’s name is Henry, by the way. Yeah, if there’s one issues with an episode, is that the kid didn’t need to be there. There’s cute some stuff with him, but the fact that a younger version of Dad is there is never explained.

But eh, it’s no big deal. Anyway, the Switchman tells Dad it wasn’t his fault, and that Dad should spend time with Logan…before the Train hits him. Yeah, back with Logan, he gets his shoelace caught in the tracks as a train is coming by.

How is Dad gonna save him? With the Toy Train. Yeah, for an episode called Toy Train, the toy doesn’t do a lot except look creepy when it turns on. And here, he uses it to make the Tran go another way. How does that work? I have no idea.

Yeah, there are some logic problems. But aside from that, the epoisode is very good. The train is stopped, Logan is saved, he says bye to Young Henry, and he hugs Dad. They have a happy moment and they leave. The End.

Yeah, no big ending. I don’t mind it, but it does make the episode…simpler. It in the end, not much happens. Logan doesn’t even interact with the Switchman and he doesn’t really find out the truth, though it is implied he may know.

It’s not bad at all, it just needed a bigger punch. However, it’s still very good as it is, with good atmosphere, dark content, and sweet moments. Sadly, I cannot give a perfect grade, as it doesn’t hit me as harder as the others, but it’s still really good.

Despite it’s flaws, it’s one of the best of the Season. I like it.

Grade: B+

Uncle Howee

Director: Ken Friss

Writer: Rick Drew

Now this is a very interesting episode. Not only because of the content, or even the quality, bu because of how popular it was. Seriously, go on TV Tropes and you’ll see that it’s mentioned on every sub-page.

A lot of people liked analyzing it, as it was quite interesting for many reasons. Why so? Let’s get into it.

Jared is babysitting his little sister Cynthia while his mother is working the night shift at the hospital, and he insults her favorite TV show called “The Uncle Howee Show” which is hosted by a loud, energetic man known as Uncle Howee. But He soon finds that Uncle Howee and his rabbit friend Loomis are dangerous when they’re not confined in the family’s flatscreen TV….

I may as well get the big fact out of the way. Uncle Howee is played by Tom Kenny. Yes, really. When I found this out, my reaction was…calm.

“RGRBERBRYESYESYESYESYESYESBESTSHOWEVER”

….Sort of.

The guy who more or less shaped my childhood on a show that I also hold dear? That’s a freaking dream come true. There 3 episodes with actors I was happy to hear would be on the show before: Wrong Number (Debby Ryan), Grampires (Chrstohper Lloyd) and Poof De Formage (Vincent Martela). Thankfully, this is more of a Wrong Number than a Poof De Formage.

But before I got to Slightly Less Creepy Ice King, I must talk about the episode itself. It’s very simple, as in not much happens. It’s mostly based on atmosphere. But here’s the thing: It’s partly a Comedy episode.

And let’s say Ken Friss learned his lesson from last time. I think the real problem with PDF was the direction. Ken Friss episodes tend to very creepy, and PDF is very comedic. As a result, the writing style of Erik and Jessica didn’t clash with his directing style, making an episode that felt awkward.

But here, the horror comes FROM the Comedy. Yes, Uncle Howee is very over the top and we have a lot of jokes. Yet the episode manages to very intense. How? Well, let’s think about. A lot of people find wacky hosts as such, let’s say, Pee Wee Herman creepy, even though they are very over the top and funny.

The reason for that is that they are so over the top and over bearing to some that they head into the Uncanny Valley. This episode feeds on that by making it scary on purpose, so the direction is very intense when he appears. Tom Kenny’s performance is a big part of this, being very funny while also being scary. The direction adds to it but he helps a lot as well.

The episode leaves everything ambiguous, and it doesn’t explain much. How did Uncle Howee come to “life”? If he a weird reality wraper that got in contact in Cynthia? Is SHE the reality warper? The episode doesn’t explain, and that bugged me at first, but I realized that it’s for the better.

Leaving it ambiguous leaves the door open for discussion, and it makes everything more mysterious, and thus scarier. It may have bugged because this show usually has stuff like this explained, instead doing something more Twilight-zone-y.

But this is done by a first time writer, so it shouldn’t be too shocking. He previously was a writer on Goosebumps, which kind of explains a lot. His episodes include Living dummy 2, Vampire Breath, Monster Blood, and Don’t Wake Mummy.

The episode also hits on interesting themes. It can viewed in a few things. For one, you can see it as a an attack on people who let TV basically influence their kids.

See, Mom is always working late, and that’s part this happens. Granted, it may not be her fault but it could play a part in a message about not letting TV be your kids teacher. It’s TV that caused all this, ain’t it?

On the other hand, Jarrid is most certainly in the wrong for being such a dick to his sister. It could just be another episode saying “Don’t be a dick”. But the other lesson could play a part as well.

See, the episode touches on a lot of interesting themes, and if you ignore that, it’s a nice scary episode. ..Oh shit, I haven’t given a plot summary yet!

Evil Edurado appears in the house and hilarity ensues. As I said, most of this episode is made of these antics, but it works fine enough. Eventually, Jarred gives up and says yes to being Spongebob’s friend.

Then we cut to later as Mom comes home to see Cynathia watching TV instead of going to bed. She tells her to turn it off, but she looks at the TV and sees….Jared….as Uncle Two Brain’s new puppet friend.

And with a creepy close up of the puppet, the episode ends. It’s a pretty creepy ending, I must say. Though I must comment on other thing about the episode that bugs me: Jared’s acting,.

I’ve seen worse but he’s pretty weak in some spots. It actually kind of stops the episode from being enjoyable, even if it’s still very enjoyable. Though given that he turns into a lifeless puppet, maybe that was intentional.

I suppose the only problem is other than that is that it’s very simple. But unlike, Seance, it’s fresh in it’s execution. It also implies some interesting themes, with many possible morals. It’s very intense and has a great mix of horror and Comedy. Add in a good performance by Tom Kenny, and you have an episode that earns it’s popularity.

It’s a very interesting episode, but even I’m shocked it has so many people talking. I knew Tom Kenny would get people watching it, but the stuff I saw on TV Tropes made me realize how mutli layered this episode.

Was any of intentional? Maybe but it’s good either way. So yeah, this is better Poof De Formage, and it’s at least on par with Wrong Number and Grampires. Seeing my childhood icon in this show was good enough, but it’s nice to know it happened to be a good episode.

It’s interesting, it’s intense, it’s funny, and it’s scary. What more could you ask for? It’s not the idiol Season Finale, and it’s the 2nd weakest (Yes, I like it more than Terrible Love, another non Horror Ken Friss episode), but it’s still pretty good.

Grade: B+

And that ends Season 4. How was it? It was about Par for the course. There’s 12 episodes, 3 of which got a B, 6 got a B+, and 3 of them got an A. But unlike Season 3’d B+ episodes, they were about as goof as they were going to get, and that’s not bad.

If I had to pick, I’d say I prefer Season 3. Yeah, this had 2 of the most amazingly complex episodes ever, but Season 3 just a bit scarier. However, they were both Good Seasons in the end.

Yeah, it had the weakest Season Premiere, and no 2 parters, but it was still a Solid Season with Plenty to offer. We had a spooky western, Evil Spongebob, and a tale about life, death, and purgatory.

What I find interesting is that this Season had some new writers: Nicole Duboc, Brandon Aumon, and Rick Drew. Whether they will stick around remains to be seen, but this explains why their episodes felt a bit different than the others. I thought they mostly brought interesting things to the table.

.So Yeah. I’m not sure what else I should say. Season 3 had about the same number of episodes I would put in my personal top 15, though “Intruders” and “Dead Bodies’ float around. Sometimes they are on it, sometimes they are not.

When Season 5 is over, I plan to remake my old Top 11 until a Top 20 (since there will be more episode to choose from then) with better explanations. I will also list my Top 5 Writers and Directors for the show, which may change with more episodes from them.

So now onto the issues of this being Season 3 Part 2. If Both Season 3 and 4 are Season 3, then that’s interesting. It makes it an even better Season that’s exactly on part with the previous season. Season 1 had 4 Episodes I’d put on my top 15, Season 2 had about or 6 (Still debating Return of Lilly D), and a whole, Season 3 had about 7. Those that my have to do with it containing 24 episodes.

So yeah, it’s about the same, but Detention alone makes it worth it. In case you’re wondering, The Season 5 Retrospective will be called just that to make it easier. By the way, if you want to know my thoughts on each episode ahead of time, you can hit my Twitter right after the episodes airs, or read my First Impressions Journals on Deviant Art.

So what does Season 5 have in store for us? First off, I know The Hub is becoming Discovery Family. Yes, Discovery is taking back their land, and filling it with crappy reality shows in prine-time instead of old sitcom and stuff. However, The Hub has stated they still have Poines, Pet Shop, Rescue Bots, and Haunting Hour. Everything else is canned, or in limbo.

Spooksvile is in the canned list, by the way, But fans are trying to give it a new home, either on TV or on Netflix, because that’s the popular thing nowadays. Still, the sucks.

So the new season will still air. First off, with have guest stars such Chyna Anne McClain and Margot Kidder. Yes, another real actor. There are others, but I’ll wait to say them. The season will, once again, start with Two episodes airng on the same day.

The 2nd is Grandpa’s Glasses, which sounds like that one Are You Afraid of The Dark episode, and the first is I’m Not Martin. Yay, I’ve only been waiting forever for it. As I said before, I wanted an episode to explain the ending, and based on the ads, it looks it’ll change a lot. Good.

So that’s it for my Retrospective until like the new Season is over. Yes, I will start it right away, though like last season, it may take awhile for me to realize it’s the Season finale. It’s been fun reviewing these episodes, and I can’t wait to see what Season 5 has in store.

And as usual, I leave you with my top 5 episodes of the Season.

5. Uncle Howee

4. Toy Train

3. Dead Bodies

2. Funhouse

1. Detention

See ya.

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Vampire Academy

These vampires don't sparkle, but they still kind of suck. ...I'm so sorry.

These vampires don’t sparkle, but they still kind of suck. …I’m so sorry.

Hello, Spongey here.

It’s time to cover a 2014 film again, and this one….is one no one cares about. But it gives me a good chance to discuss YA. …Sort of. I already went into it my Morganville Vampires tribute.

There, I say YA books tend to be for Pre-Teens, while Morganville Vampires has real teens and that’s part of why it’s so great. It ain’t tweeny.

But Tween stuff sells, and thus we have a lot of YA movies. Some rip off Twilight, while others rip off Hunger Games. I prefer the latter, as they at least can be kind of cool, unlike the Twilight rip offs.

Today’s movie doesn’t fall into either, as it’s more it’s own thing, despite having vampires. The original books were written by Richelle Mead (No relation to that guy who reviewed Oogivleloves on here once) and I guess they dealt with a Vampire Acadmey. I’ve never read them but they sound like they are at least trying.

Also, Richelle Mead has the praise quote on the cover of one of the Morganville Vampires books…At least she has taste.

Anyway, the books were popular, I guess, so they made a movie about it. The reviews were negative, some overly so, but overall, people forgot about the film. It may be on worst lists, but no one really cared.

Before we start, let’s look at our creators. The writers credits include Batman Returns (You know how I feel about that one) while the director has done the Freaky Friday remake (which is alright), Mean Girls (which I haven’t seen) and…Mr Poppers Penguins.

…Ouch.

But hey, it could still be good. The only way I’m gonna find is if I shut up and start it, and I’m gonna that right now. Let’s see if this movie….sucks.

This, is Vampire Academy

After 55 seconds of logos, the movie opens with some people in a car. They crash and it was all a dream. That was fast. This our lead teenager, Rose, played by Maya from Suite Life on Deck. Hey, that’s why she left in the finale, to join a Vampire school!

As it turns out, that dream was an accident she got in that killed her parents. I don’t have rules fro a YA drinking game, but go ahead and take a swig for dead parents.

“Can’t you be like a normal teenage girl and dream of hot named guys on Unicrorns?”

…No comment.

Rose talks to her sister, Alyssa, about stuff.

“You know it’s been a year since we dropped out of the Academy”

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Alyssa gets hungry, so Rose lets her eat. Then she bites her neck…

“That escalated quickly”

Finally, I got to use that joke.

So yeah…she’s a vampire. Don’t these kind of films ease into this stuff, instead of dropping us in? I’d love an explanation. They hear some guys outside, and they must be bad guys, cuz they kick their asses. Awesome.

Then this dude appears, saying he must take them back to St Vladimar’s Academy. What the hell is going on? This thing is going way too fast .I don’t know the characters, or the situation! …I hope this is a ‘In Media Res” thing.

I’m not sure, but we get narration.

“My best friend Alyssa-”

Oh, not her sister. Sorry.

“-is part of a magical ancient race. The Moroi. The Moroi don’t wear black capes, turn into bats, or sleep in coffins. They don’t sparkle either”

…BEST MOVIE EVER MADE.

The exposition tells us that they live off blood, but they don’t live forever. Rose is a Dhampir, protectors of the Moroi. The narration ends, and we see that Rose and Alyssa are being driven back to the Academy. With all that exposition, we still don’t know why they left.

A bunch of bad guys show up, once they stop the car, and attack. We get a fight scene with laughable effects, and the bad guys are stopped. Also, more narration.

“Then there’s Group 3. The bad vampires.”

They have a fancy name but they don’t need one so I won’t say It.

“It take 5 of our best to kill one of their worst’

Okay,it’s been long enough. SHOW. DON’T TELL.

After that pointless bit, they arrive at the school.

“There it was. Goodbye Facebook, goodbye iPhone 5”

PRODUCT PLACEMENT!

She tells us that this a school where all kinds of vampires, Mori and Dhampir alike, go to learn stuff, like magic.

“For the Moroi, it’s magic time. Water, Earth, Fire, Air.”

The Four Nations lived together in-wait…

“Our secret society has it’s own government that alternates leaders-”

SHUT UP. My god, stop with the freaking narration!

…Sorry. The narration stops as they arrive at Vampire Academy.

“you know I hate the V word.

That’s our word!

…Would have preferred a Vagina joke?

They are taken to the Head Mistresses, as they finally explain why they left. Alyssa felt less secure in the school than outside,…and that’s all we get. She stops so we can get MORE EXPOSTION!

See, Alsyssa is the last of her name, as this other dude is gonna die, so she is the successor to the throne. But they drop that to move the plot forward. They let the two back in the school, and Rose gets a telegram. But they drop THAT so Rose can go outside for some flashbacks that tell us nothing.

It’s weird. That plot got started right away yet it STILL hasn’t started. The two try to blend back into the school and we have various award conversations. There’s a weird pointless scene, and Rose visits her trainer, who is kind of a dick.

“How do you say what a dick in Russian?”

Oh cute, you’re trying to be grown up.. It only worked when Morganville did it.

“Now for the obligatory Cafeteria scene”

…I didn’t say that. …She did.

Okay, give them a point. It turns out to be not so normal as it’s actually a white room next to place where humans are used to get blood. They take humans every year to suck out their blood so they have enough for the year. They are known as feeds, and each Vampire gets a certain feeder.

Alsyssa’s feeder writes Twilight Fanfiction. ..This movie is getting on my good side now. They leave and spot a hot guy.

“He has a terrible personality”

“Jesse has a personality? I didn’t know”

…Stop being good.

Later, during…Church (that shouldn’t be weird, but it is), a message appears on the wall saying “Leave or die”. This one bitch thinks it was worse.

“One wrong move and you’re on the street doing blood whore porn”

…Why do I want to see that?

After that (what is with the pointless scenes?), Rose gets with Jesse who tries to bite her when they kiss. She says no and a teacher kicks him out. We get more pointless (for now) scenes and we cut to class, as this one dude calls Rose a Blood whore. Then he is lit on fire. Yes.

See, people found out that Alyssa used Rose as a human feed bag while they were on the run. They are shocked by this..because? I don’t know. How did they expect her to feed?

After another scene, we cut to the …Queen of Vampire Academy, as she gathered everyone. She calls Alyssa the princess, so I guess she’s a princess now. She calls her up as she is being blamed for a recent Fox murder. There’s also the whole…escape thing.

She forgives Alyssa for htat though so that scene was.. another scene that just happens. Rose and some nerdy chick go to their room and find a message saying “If you stay beware”.

The message is written in blood, so the nerdy chick licks it to see what type of blood it is. Okay.

“Oh a mystery, how exciting”

Alyssa shows up and she decides she has had enough.

“Its my turn to kick a little ass”

Then that scene ends as Rose talks this to some guy. Before I vent, this line.

“She used to go to Hot topic. Then she turned 12”

Okay, what is with this film’s writing so far? The plot makes sense… I guess, but it feels so disjointed. Each scene feels isolated instead of flowing naturally. Is it just me? Not to mention the exposition and the fact that , despite the character talking a lot, they don’t get much room to breathe because of all the plot!

I know this is supposed to be a series but you should establish plot points in a way that isn’t clunky. You should also give the film room to breathe instead of making every scene “important”. Okay. Let’s move on.

That scene ends (seriously, is each scene feeling pointless to you) and we cut to the next day, with Rose and her Mentor, who can’t act for shit. He’s gonna teach her how to fight. But seriously, he can’t act. It almost sounds like bad dubbing, I am not even joking.

After some training, we get, more exposition from the Mentor guy Oh joy, we’re back to that. He talks about pointless stuff from his backstory, but then he tells us that Rose’s Mom was kind of respected. I don’t know, it feels like these scenes establish character development, but they feel pointless. I still don’t get it!

After more pointless scenes, we see that Alyssa is hanging out with the popular people, and she’s turning into someone she’s not. Okay, not only is that cliché but Rose TELLS us this, and we don’t see it. What did I say earlier?!

“The stakes are too high…get it?”

BwPdTzJIUAERUPB

Rose sneaks into this office to find any info on her past, and she finds a recording of this teacher that vanished. It’s very…found foutage-y. Come on, I’m doing enough Found Footage next month!

Rose suddenly has a vision (Oh yeah, she has visions. Forgot to mention that) of Alyssa fighting off bad guys because this one bad guy was her Ex or something. She goes out to help her-and it was all a dream.

As if we needed more pointless scenes. Or at least, scenes that FEEL pointless. After more of those type of scenes, Rose and Alyssa go to a party, where Alyssa ignores Rose in favor of being “fun” and stuff. She calls her out on this, but Alyssa isn’t having any of this cuz she’s doing this to take down this chick named Mia. They argue some more until they are interrupted by the sound of some creature.

They run and they find Alyssa’s backpack…with a dead cat in it. Her Cat. Oh yeah, she had a cat. It wasn’t important until now. Then we get another vision, only this one is a lost memory. As it turns out, that teacher who vanished erased Rose’s memory so that she only knew she had to get away from the school. Why did she do this? I’m not 100 percent, I think they said something about Alyssa using her powers a lot being dangerous. Idk.

Rose confronts the head people about this and they finally tell her what happened to Mrs Carp, the teacher. After Rose left, she had a complete breakdown because of some complicated crap I don’t understand. The important part is that she left and they don’t know where she is.

Rose visits some dude to try to find out what the deal is with Alyssa and the cat murder. They figure that she has some weird power that is causing stuff to happen. Rose tells her about this but she’s…mad.

ROSE Bite me.

“You’d like that, Blood whore”

While they argue, Rose trips and she wakes up in the hospital. Despite hurting her leg, she’s perfectly fine when she wakes up. She visits Alyssa (cuz this place has shit security) and..she’s fine now.

“When I saw your leg, I got everything out of my system”

That’s…lazy.

The head mistresses shows and forbids them from going to this upcoming dance because of the trouble they have caused. Wait, we’re just gonna move on? The whole with Alyssa just…stops for now?

See what I mean? This movie can’t pick one scene and stick with it! Then thye drop THAT and they all go shopping. Alyssa brings up her powers, saying she confused power with popularity…and they drop that to talk stuff that is only semi-related.

I’m not skipping any of this. Alyssa litterly stops being a bitch and the movie really skips around like this. Even the worst films I’ve ever seen didn’t have this problem!

Anyway, they will be allowed to to the dance now because…potatoes. So yeah, it’s time for the dance, but first, a one liner.

“Let’s make tonight our bitch”

They go the dance and Alyssa hooks up with this dude named Christian that I haven’t mentioned cuz he didn’t seem important until now. But now it’s time to find who has been making those messages that stopped being important half an hour ago.

It was these 3 dudes who haven’t been mentioned/seen until now. …What a twist? Well, actually they were doing this under the order of Alpha-Bitch Mia who has only been important like once before now. I haven’t said her name.

What is with this movie and making previously unimportant things important? Yes, some movies do that but here, it feels so…sudden! Mia did this because…she doesn’t like them. What a complex, deep, motviation.

While she did make the messages, she didn’t kill the cat cuz even bitches have standards.

“You’re not the villain, you’re just an insecure girl, desperate for attention”

Which makes everything with her entirely pointless. Also, creepy stuff actually turns out to be from someone who isn’t the villain cliché!

Rose has a vision of Alyssa getting kidnapped, and now she must save her. She visits the bad acting mentor…and they have a romantic moment. Yeah, she had a crush on him and it was important but I choose not to mention it.

But the important part is that it’s not the time or place, woman! Then they…have sex? What the actual hell? You’re sister has been kidnapped, bitch! There’s more important things to do than…that!

And then before they start, he takes her necklace and they stop because the necklace someone made them want to do it.

“Alyssa’s been kidnapped, we have to hurry”

Then they…move on…like nothing happened.

alligatormomentBLAM

…Let’s forget that happened.

Rose has another vision and we find out who our villain is: Victor Dashkov. A guy who has been semi important, but I have failed to mention him. It’s my fault this time, sorry.

He was a previous candidate for the throne, who has contracted a disease that leaves him too feeble for the job. He wants to use her to cure himself, but at the cost of her own life as continued healing would eventually take its toll on her.

Okay, that’s pretty interesting. It took them 75 minutes, but this is getting cool! Why did he kill the cat? …I don’t know. But he gave Rose the love potion coated necklace to cause…that. …Okay, it was…important but If you cut it out, it wouldn’t change that much.

Some dude starts sucking the life out of Alyssa to hear Victor. It works. Rose and the mentor storm the bad guy base, while Alyssa attempts to escape by herself. The Mentor, Demetri, bumps into one goon who has the best one liner ever.

“Dimentri is a god. I’m an atheist. An Atheist with a big gun”

That was the best line in any movie ever.

He kills the Atheist with a big gun, and Victor heads outside to take care of Alyssa, since his CGI dogs didn’t take care of her. Before he can kill Rose, who pops up, Demetri pops up and cuffs him. But the CGI dogs still attack and Christian sets them on fire and they run away …Okay.

Doing this hurt him so Alyssa heals him. Suspense! And with that, Victor is taken to a holding cell, and all is good. We’re 83 minutes into a 95 minute movie. We’re not done.

Rose and Dmetri talk about what happened earlier, and it’s not a BLAM. Dang it. Demtri isn’t into her in that way.

“It was just a spell. Let it go”

And, of course, we move on to the next plot point. Rose visits Victor in his cell. Why? I don’t know. This scene exists so Victor can mock her about the Demetri thing. He says there must some affection in there for the charm to work.

Wait, is this about romance now? Cuz…it was only a minior part so far. It mostly focused on our heroines being cool, and an actually story.. Not some dumb romance!

Victor explains to Rose that the reason why she bonded to Lissa (and thus sometimes able to see into her mind) is because she was “shadow-kissed”, having been brought back to life by her magic. So yeah, she’s supposed to be dead, but she isn’t. Cool.

Oh, and the nerdy chick, whose name is Natalie, is a bad guy now. Well, she was important so…yeah, I’ll give them that. She’s Victor’s daughter, infact. She had been giving him info thi whole time, and she came up with the cat idea.

Natile goes on about how sad she was until she turned super evil, and we get a shakey-cam fight scene. Then Dimetri shows up and kills her. Then Victor is caputed. Now that was an Anti-Climax.

Also, False climax followed by real climax, cliché.

Rose reunites with Alyssa, or Lissa, or whatever her name is, and we cut to to the Head person giving a speech. Alyssa pops up and says that Spirit is her type of magic, and that it’s thanks to Rose that she can master it.

She says some crap about blood being pain, family, and dead and yada yada. It’s a “inspirational” speech to make us think we learned something. That’s all you need to know.

Rose talks to Dimetri who admits he likes her. He lied earlier because the plot said do. That and everyone would not be okay with it.

“You’re reasons for not loving me, make me love you more”

She asks for a kiss, and he goes in…and she flips him. Nice. ..She had been trying to flip him all movie for the training. Yeah. She walks away and we get narration. Oh hey, haven’t seen that in awhile.

“My name is Rose Hathaway. I’m not you’re normal teenage girl. Every life has real, traditions, friends, enemies, sheer terror, and incredible joy. But I’ve learned-‘

A bird flies by her. Wow, even the bird hate the narration. The bird flies away and we pan out to see a dude in a nearby cave. Inside the cave is a bunch of bad guys.

“Soon”

And by soon,they mean never, because the movie ends and it bombed. Thank god. Oddly enough, the ending is okay with me. I didn’t care about the film to want it to end well, anyway. It’s over either way.

Final Thoughts:

That was…not horrible, but it as very problematic. The odd thing is, it’s not painful in any way. It flows fine and the characters/story are not the worst. But somehow, it feels like a mess for all 95 of it’s minutes.

I mean, I can someone who likes the movie going ‘WHAT NO IT’S PERFECTLY NORMAL” and trust me, I know that feeling. But it just felt..messy. For one, there’s too much exposition at some points. Pretty much half the movie is people explaining things. We are told various things we can see for ourselves.

And sadly, this means any character development feels…calculated instead of natural. It’s clearly trying to make something interesting, but it’s too busy trying to fit in so much plot, when there isn’t that much plot in most scenes.

A lot of the scenes feel pointless, even if they are not. The pacing is all over the place, mostly going too fast which makes no sense given how much they stretch things out. We have pointless plot points that are rushed, like Alyssa being a bitch, among other things.

It just feels…messy. However, it’s not really…bad per say. The story gives us interesting ideas though it does feel a bit generic at times. The characters, for the most part, aren’t as interesting as they could have been. Rose is the typical hero for this type of story, and everyone fills the typical roles.

None of them are unlikable, for the most part but they don’t pop. The villains are evil for the sake of being evil and the interesting parts feel…wasted. And to add insult to injury, we have a pointless, weak romance. For a movie that mocks Twilight, it sure loves putting in crappy romance.

But on the bright side, the acting (with one except…) is pretty good. Zoey Deuth is the standout as Rose, being fairly charming with her snark and stuff. Everyone else is preftly fine, with the materiel they are given. Except Dimetri. God, he was bad, and he made the romance worse.

By the way, this was his first American Film role. I couldn’t tell!

The humor is decent, and it at least tries to break away from the YA Mold. Because of that, it’s far more watchable than most of the crap I review, but it’s not really that memorable in the end.

I haven’t read the book, but it looks like the kind of movie that tries to put in as much from the book as possible, only making the script stuffed. I’m sure the books are far better, but this was not a good first impression.

It’s perfectly harmless, and i’ve seen far worse, but it’s just not as good as it could have been. It doesn’t suck but it’s not any good either.

Grade: C+

Next time, we look a film I’ve been interested in for awhile….well, it’s from the director of a film I’ve been wanting to do for awhile anyway.

See ya.

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Bruce Almighty

I for one accept our new rubbery faced overlord.

I for one accept our new rubbery faced overlord.

Hello, Spongey here.

Last year, I did a special review for my brother’s Birthday. I had a list of movies and he picked one he wanted mt to review. Last year, it was Camp Rock 2.

And this year, I did the same thing, cuz I’m nice like that. I had a smaller list with films I was a tad more interested in. It’s not cheating cuz his original choice could be not be found, so he picked this back up choice. An odd choice given my brother’s taste, but it’s an interesting film, so here we are.

Plus, it gives me a chance to talk about Jim Carrey. He once one of the biggest stars in the world, but now he’s not quite as big. This is mostly due to some…not so good career moves on his parts. But even after all that, it’s still a pretty funny guys. Film such “The Mask” and “The Truman Show” proved he can very funny and pull off drama very well.

And he stuck with it, instead of thinking dumb ass Comedy wins out. Take THAT , Adam Sandler! But seriously, he’s a very talented actor, even with his blunders. Yeah, Mr Poppers Penguins has been on my list for awhile.

But today, we look at one of his good movies. It’s a movie people tend to like but no one seems to have it as a favorite. Honestly, I think it’s one of his best. And I’ll into why that is. But first, the creative team.

The director has brought us other Jim Carrey movies including Liar Liar. He also did Patch Adams but I won’t hold that against him. We have 3 writers, two of which are Steve Koren and Mark O’ Keefe. They also wrote Click, A Thousand Words, and …Jack and Jil..

What.

I alluded to this in my Click review…but yeah. The writers of a good Sandler movie, and a good Jim Carrey movie did….a bad Eddie Murphy movie, and an awful Sandler movie. Besides J&J, they have one thing in common, which I’ll get into later.

But seriously, how can the writer create movies on such opposite ends of the spectrum? …Also, the other writer worked on Jimmy Neutron. Cool.

But yeah, with that shock over, let’s exactly why I like the film as much as I do.

This, is Bruce Almighty

The movie opens with our main character, Bruce, played by Jim Carrey, doing a news report. He’s a reporter, that’s important. We see that he gets the fluff pieces. And by fluff, I mean the stuff no one cares about.

I’ll skip this part, but it has some amusing moments. We cut to him watching the report with his wife, Grace, played by Jennifer Aniston.

jennifer-aniston-we-are-the-millers.jpgx

Yeah.

He’s not happy about the work he gets but Grace sees nothing wrong with doing fluff pieces. He wants to do more serious work. Think that’s a metaphor for something?

They have some banter and we cut to the next morning as we have more stuff with the two. Comedies are always hard to review, but until the plot kicks in, this may be extra hard as the film is more fun to watch than it is to talk about.

We see how crappy his life can be, mostly as contrast for later. He gets to work as we see that there’s a dick-ish anchor there that always outshines, named Evan, played by Steve Carrel. He’s an amusing character but did we need a movie about him?

Yeah, we’ll get to that one too.

He talks to his boss, and he finally gets his first live broadcast, and his first report on something worth covering. He’s interviewing someone at these falls. I don’t know, the location isn’t important. But before Bruce goes on, they announce that Evan will be the new head anchor. To make things worse, he steals one of Bruce’s bits in his whole Thank you speech.

Bruce…isn’t happy. Infact, he kind of has a breakdown on the air. It’s pretty funny. Yeah, he’s kind of a dick here, but given the context, it’s understandable that he would go crazy here.

He’s fired. Wah wha. On his way out, he sees some guys picking on a bum. They chase him down and beat him up. They come later, which is why I mentioned that scene. When he gets some, he whines some more. Yeah, this is starting to get a bit much but it would far more annoying with a lesser actor.

He starts blaming God for his crappy life. At least he isn’t saying God flat out doesn’t exist, just cuz someone is not conventionally attractive. Grace isn’t happy about Bruce’s bitching and they get into an argument.

Bruce isn’t having any of this, so he goes for a drive. Crappy things keep happening to him, to the point where he crashes his car. This is the final staw, as he just goes crazy, yelling at God.

‘Smite me, oh mighty smiter!”

And now we have a Trope Name.

He calms down and the next day, he gets getting a call from a mysterious number on his…beeper thing. He attempts to get rid of it, but it keeps coming back. So he eventually calls the number and he gets what sounds like an ad, telling him to look for opportunity at this place.

He goes there, and the place is this huge empty building. He gets to the 7th floor, as he meets Morgan Freeman here. Is this his first appearance on this blog? If so, it’s a great way to introduce him. This is actually the film that me a fan of his.

This is where the movie gets good, trust me. Morgan has a White suit on and he knows Bruce’s name, and stuff about his father. I’m gonna spoil it now: He’s God. And I know this sounds odd, but this is one of my favorite on screen depictions of God, ever.

This scene alone establishes why. This God is all knowing, as you would expect, but jokes around and he’s quite a bit of a troll. However, he has this presence to him that makes him..well Godly. And yes, Morgan Freeman’s performance is a big part of that.

This is the God I totally want. I’m not religious at all (Not against it at all, I just don’t like getting caught up in all that stuff. You understand) but if God was like this, I’d be on his side.

Anyway, Bruce’s little comment from last night got God’s attention. This isn’t the worst thing said about him so why he appears for Bruce is odd, but I’ll let it slide. Bruce has a hard time believing he is really God. e
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After some magic tricks, God proves he is the real deal. He brought Bruce here to offer him…his job. When he leaves the building,…Bruce will have god’s powers.

Ignoring the logic issues, this is an amazing premise, and yes, they pull it off very very well. Bruce doesn’t quite buy it so he leaves. He quickly discovers organ Freeman was right as stuff he wishes for starts happening.

He goes a bit crazy so he stops a dinner. He gets some Tomato Soup and to see if the power thing is real, he parts the red soup. It’s funny and awesome. And then God pops up to explain the rules. Why didn’t he explain them before.

By the way, they are walking on water as they talk.

Anyway, Bruce has God’s powers and there are only 2 rules:

1. Don’t tell anyone

2. Don’t mess with free will.

3. Don’t allow them to make a Grown Ups 3

Wait, that last long was mine.

So now that he knows he has God’s powers, he struts along for a montage. He even confronts those big dudes who beat him up earlier. He takes care of them by making a monkey come out of a dude’s butt.

Yes. And it’s kind of awesome. Mostly cuz we have a LITERAL butt monkey. After that we have a trailer shot, where he proclaims how awesome he is.

Bruce arrives home, happier than ever. He uses his poiwers ro make things a bit romantic. He even makes the Moon move a tad closer so it will look all pretty outside. Yes, the issues with that are addressed.

He has sex with Jennifer Aniston (bastard…) and we cut to the next day as a news report tells us that a freak tidal wave has caused problems in Japan. Told you it would be addressed.

But it’s not adressed again so…yeah. Anyway, Grace was saying something?

“My boobs are bigger”

…Interesting. It’s not important, but I pointed it out cuz uh…reasons.

Bruce heads out as he uses his powers to clear up traffic, so he can move faster with his new car.

“Hi ho silver away!”

Don’t ever do that again.

Bruce’s next move is to get a job at Channel 5, since he got fired from Channel 7. He goes to a place where they are reporting. The crew there acts like a bunch of jackasses, so Bruce dolls out some punishment.

Bruce creates a story and makes it the assholes can’t get in their van to get the cameras. He uses his own to report on the story. The real punishment comes when he puts a ton of weed in that truck so they will get arrested for it.

That’s the 2nd movie from the same writer I’ve seen this month where our hero gets someone in trouble for drug possession in some way. Huh.

Because of this report, he gets his job back. One good report forgives a mental breakdown? So we get a montage of Bruce reporting on stuff he causes himself, and his life getting better.

After the montage, Bruce makes Evan mess up while he is doing his Anchor thing. This is another big trailer scenes, and it’s pretty funny. Here’s an out of context line:

“My tiny little nipples went to france”

It’s weird how this film has more interesting scenes, yet this one makes me laugh the most.

After that, Bruce and Grace (you just got it, didn’t you?), go out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. Then we get the cliché where the girlfriend thinks the boy is gonna propose, but he really doesn’t. Instead, Bruce says he is now an Anchor.

Suddenly, Bruce starts hearing a bunch of prayers. Oh yeah, that’s a part of being God too. This annoys him so much that he talks to Morgan Freeman- I mean God again …Eh, same thing.

God explains to him about the prayers thing. Bruce has to answer the prayers , as he hasn’t really helped anyone with his God powers yet. Besides himself, anyway. To take care of the prayers, he takes them out of his head, and into some files. That doesn’t work, so he tries sticky-notes.

That fails so he puts them into emails. Naturally, there are about a million prayers for him to take on. He goes to work and after a bit of furious typing, he has barely made a dent with the new prayers coming in. So…

‘Yes, to all”

That causes problems later.

Bruce goes to this party…event….thing, where he soaks up his new fame. He calls Grace, asking her come, but she’s mad about the no proposal thing. In the meantime, this hot chick from the station shows up for a misunderstanding. Yep, the chick makes a move on him and Grace shows up to see.

…I hate this cliché. I like the movie but I hate this cliché. Fuck this cliché. Screw this scene.

Grace is…a bit mad, and Bruce tries to apologize, but he didn’t exactly stop the chick during the kiss. Because cliché.

Grace leaves him and she’ll be staying at her friends place until this is cleared up. To be fair, this leads to decent drama but it used one of my most hated cliches…so yeah.

Sad, Bruce turns on the sprinklers in the place so everyone will leave. Eh, nice spin on the Dramatic rain cliché. God pops up to join this pity party.

“She’ll take me back, right?”

“Would you take you back?

“How do you make so many people love you without affecting free will?”

‘Welcome to my world son”

That’s a very nice moment. But we’ll get into the drama aspect a bit more later. For now, Bruce uses his powers to give Grace “signs” telling her to get back with him. Eventually he just talks to her.

“I miss you”

I think there was a time skip of a few days. Should have mentioned that.

Grace isn’t having any of it though, and Bruce is up shit creek again. Bruce does truly feel bad for what he did, but Grace is busy right now. Yeah, she’s a teacher and he visited her at school.

Things don’t get better as a ton of things Bruce did turn bad. Earlier, he made a meteor hit the earth for a story, and it causes a surge, and some damage. A lot of people prayed to win the lottery, so they won the lottery…but due to everyone winning, they only won like 17 bucks. And the whole tidal thing is being used as fodder for “End of the world” nuts. I like this. It shows that car less actions do have consequences and it makes the film even more interesting.

Those surges cause power outages during a report that night. The final kicker is that there are riots outside the station. Bruce heads outside and we see it’s a huge ass riot out there. Yes, it is similar to the Apocalypse.

maxresdefault

Yep.

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Bruce goes back to where this all started and he finds it dark, with no one there. At least until God pops up..

“Hi there, Bruce Almighty”

Roll credits!

Bruce admits he screwed up as God. They talk and discuss the lessons Bruce has learned. God talks about true miracles and yada yada. Then he leaves. That was enlightning. Bruce goes home to mope a bit, and we get a montage of him doing good things for people. Without his powers.

He visits Evan to apologize for being a dick to him. Evan is made anchor again and Bruce goes back to doing the fluffy stuff. After the montage, Grace’s friend pops up to get her stuff. Before she leaves, she says Grace prays every night.

So Bruce checks her prayers to see what she has said. Most of them are about helping Bruce until he gets the most recent one.

“Dear god, I need you now more than ever. Please god, please. I still love him. But I don’t want to love him anymore. I don’t want to hurt anymore. Please. Help me let him go”

Damn.

Yeah, this movie has become super dramatic, just like in Click. It works even better. It’s a very natural extension of the plot. This stuff doesn’t come out of nowhere like in A Thousand Words. It’s very well done, brings in interesting themes, and it’s what makes this film so good. Even more than the Comedy.

Dramatic rain show up again and Bruce is sad. He finally says he doesn’t want to be God anymore. Then he gets hit a truck and dies. The end!

…Just kidding. It’s not the end….but he does Die and is sent to God. God tells him he has a spark or something, and he tells Bruce to pray. Bruce prays for Grace to be happy

“No matter what that means”

This is a very nice moment. ..Yeah, that’s all I can say, really.

God complies and Bruce returns to Earth as he wakes up in the Hospital. And by the power of plot, Grace is there. This of course leads to an emotional moment as the two make up. They both apologize to each other and everything is fine.

They don’t say much but we get the point. Bruce learns to live with he has, and not to be an asshole. All that good stuff.

We cut to later as Bruce is doing one of his fluff pieces, as he is now happy to do this. He cracks jokes and stuff.

“Behind every great man, there’s a woman rolling her eyes”

Quoted for truth.

The report ends and he’s still happy. We get wrap up dialogue, wrap up music and the final shot…well, I have to explain something. Throughout the film, that bum the dudes beat up has appeared, with his sign. Each time it says something that relates to the situation, in a comedic way.

The final shot has him holding a sign saying “Armageddon outta here” (PATRICK: Boo!). Then it turns out this whole time, the bum was actually god.

See, I knew God was a bum! I told them! They said I was crazy…AND I AM!

…Roll credits.

Yeah, I will say the ending is rushed. We get the message, but the climax is weak and the film kind of ends. But it’s still a decent ending that gives me warm and fuzzy ends. I’m just glad to be done with this review.

Final Thoughts:

While it’s not quite as fondly remembered as the Mask or something, I still think it’s pretty good. Its not the best Comedy ever, but it’s solid.

The concept is great, and they do a lot with it. It leads to a lot of Comedy and it’s all pretty funny. They even squeeze drama out of it, and it never feels out of place. It helps makes the story and characters even stronger.

The story is basic but it works and the highlight is the comedy anyway. The only important character and Bruce, Grace, and God, and they work alright. Grace is kind of basic but she fills her role fine, and she leads to solid drama.

Bruce is a bit of a dick but he’s relate-able, funny, and fully likable by the end. He learns important lessons and he’s a solid star with this story. Jim Carrey, while a bit over the top, still does a good job. Not his best work but still solid.

However, the true scene stealer is Morgan Freeman. He’s just awesome. He cracks jokes, but he seems very smart, and ..well god-ly. He seems like the way God probably would be…or is. Take your pick. I hope I don’t offend anyone. Anyway, God is awesome in this movie.

Overall, the movie is pretty good. It can be a bit too crazy and fast faced at times, among other things, it’s mostly a funny movie with a great premise, decent acting, a Great God,, and very good Drama.

It seemed like the writers strengths was very funny Comedies with Drama in them…until Jack and Jill came around. Then A Thousand Words. Ouch, seriously. But hey, at least this movie is good. Thank you brother, for picking it it. Happy Early Birthday. You should all check it out if you haven’t already.

Grade: B+

Next time, we venture into the world of YA….that should be fun,

See ya.

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Epic

Nothing says Epic like Pitbull, Beyonce, and Slugs!

Nothing says Epic like Pitbull, Beyonce, and Slugs!

Hello, Spongey here.

Let’s like we get to talk about Blue Sky again. I …kind reviewed Rio a few months ago, and I think I teased today’s movie there. Now we get to talk about it.

For awhile, Blue Sky has been the …Underdog studio, so to speak. People mistake their films for films by other Studios, and they are 2nd fiddle to Dreamworks and Pixar. Hell ,even Sony has more respect, with the hit that was Cloudy with a Chance of Meatbals.

That’s not too bad, cuz their films aren’t exactly the best ever, but I did hope they would get for fame someday. And last year, I thought that day would come when I heard about this movie. The trailer (besides one element I’ll get to) made it look amazing.

It seemed like a complex, epic, adventure akin to How to Train Your Dragon. Infact, I thought it would be to Blue Sky what Dragons was to Dreamworks. It came out…and it wasn’t. The reviews were average, either disliking it, or finding it…Okay. It made money but it mostly came and went.

I saw it in theaters and you know what, I liked it. However, it’s still not as amazing as it could have been. So today, I’ll re-visit and see it’s better than I remember. Or I can least explain why it’s a decent movie.

A few things before we start, though. This film is based on a book called The Leaf Men and the Brave Good Bugs , by none other than William Joyce. Yep, same guy who had his hand in Meet the Robinsons, Robots, and Rollie Pollie Ollie. His style is evident in each of those movies, and he’s awesome.

I may have mentioned this before, he actually prefers the adaptations of his work to be different than the books. So don’t go bitching about the differences here. Though I wish thye kept the title. The new title is…pompous, to say the least.

But hey, it may live up to that title. Also, as a side note, Stefan Ellison, aka Mr Coat, loves this movie. I mention that because he’s the biggest Epic fan on Earth, and thus, I felt I should give him a shout out. But seriously, he did a video on Blue Sky, and one on this. Check them both out, here’s a link to the Epic one:

Anyway, let’s jump into this thing.

This, is Epic

The movie opens with narration.

“Somebody told me once that if you stand still in the Forrest long enough, you’ll see signs of a hidden struggle. Raging between forests of life and decay. That the survival of the forest itself depends on the out coming. The good guys need all the help they can get. If you don’t believe it, take a close look. If you still don’t…”

Then screw you.

“Look closer”

That too.

We see a guy running in the Forrest, looking for something. After a bit of time with him we get to the cool part. We are introduced to the Leaf men, these really tiny dudes no one can see for reasons we’ll get into later.

We see one fighting off a green monster dude who is riding a bird. The first I can say about this movie is that the animation is kind of AMAZING. It’s hard to describe here but it looks awesome. Besides the strong character animation, we have fantastic, realistic backgrounds and everything looks very real, which helps the fight scenes, such as this one.

This whole opening scene is the best part of the movie, showing off fantastic animation in every frame. I’m not saying the rest of the film is bad, I’m just saying it doesn’t top this scene The reason being is that is the spectacle of seeing all this for the first time. Even the climax doens’t top it, but the other action scenes are still great.

We also quickly forget out what this leaf dude is like. He’s with other guys, and he’s doing things different from the others. Yep, he’s a rebellious teen, but more on that later. To be fair, it ain’t done too badly compared to other movies, but for now, let’s move on.

That scene ends with the kid and his Dad (Their names are Nod and Ronin, by the way) making like their race and…getting out of there. We move on to meet our Human heroine, Mary Katherine aka MK, voiced by Amanda Seyfried. This is a good time to mention that she was named after William Joyce’s daughter, died in 2010.

That is sweet.

(What, you expected me to D’aww again?)

She’s a teenage girl and she is visiting her father who lives in this big ol weird house near the Forrest we were just in. By the way her Mom is dead because of course she is. Now, I’ll say right now that Dad, voiced by Jason Sudekis, has been a busy with something (which we’ll get to in a secon) and thus hasn’t been there for him. Yeah, it’s that cliché but to be fair, MK isn’t a brat about it, and while some may disagree, Dad isn’t that much of a dick.

He leaves so she can settle in, and she looks at a picture of her Mom.

“Okay, I’m trying. That was the deal.”

…Well, that’s interesting.

We head back to the forest so we can get back to the interesting part. We head into the Leaf men (er, Leaf people, cuz there are women)’s world which of course is very beautiful looking. Ronin, voiced by Colin Ferral talks to Queen Tara, voiced by Beyonce. Yeah, this movie doesn’t do the whole…Dreamworks for the most part, but this casting is a tad pointless.

To be fair, she does a good job as her character is rather playful and thus, not boring. That gives her an actual character to work with and she does fine with it. She needs to choose an Heir and she hasn’t picked one yet

While she’s talking to Ronin she’s shown to be a spunky, or however you would describe it which adds to the …not boring part. Also, I’m pretty sure she’s hitting on Roin. I almost want to see if there’s fanfic of that.

She must choose an Heir today, by the way. With that, we meet our villains, the Boggans. They live on rot so they live in a very rotted area of the forest, which looks awesome, by the way. We meet their leader, Mandrake, voiced by Christoph Waltz. The Boggans think the Leaf Men drove htem area and they are infested the place with hideous green forest, while our heroes think otherwise. That’s a nice touch that at least tries to give the villains a motivation besides being evil cuz evil evil evil.

“Today, We’ll show them you just can’t stop the rot”

Yes, Waltz does a great job as a villain once again, why do you ask?

“If the Queen dies without an Heir, the leaf men can’t regrow anything.”

Yep, their gonna kill the Queen. This movie has a dark edge to it sometimes, and that’s cool. But maybe it needed more of an edge…I’ll get into that later.

Back with the heroes, Nod gets back to Ronin, and neither of them are happy. Nod is tired of being treated like a kid and oh yeah he’s not his Dad but he is taking care of him cuz his real Dad is dead. Man, Dead parents everywhere!

This bit is a tad cliché but they tone down the painful parts, at least. Besides, Ronin is kind of awesome. His plight is actually interesting and he’s also a badass. He’s awesome. Nod leaves and this ceremony thing starts. But we gotta get back to the normal Humans so let’s see what MK is up to.

See, Dad thinks there is a society of tiny people living in the woods, and he has dedicated his life to finding them and proving they exist. He has cameras all over the place, too.

“It ruined your career, not to mentioned your marriage”

Way to make him feel better, MK. So yeah, this has taken over his life and we;ll get more into that as the film goes on. He explains a few things, like why we can’t see these tiny guys. They move too fast, like insects. His theory is that they are living faster, like in a different dimension.

“To them, we’re just big and dumb and slow”

Now, this idea is cool. Actually, the whole world of the movie is very well done. The writers and animators put a lot of detail to help make this a fully fleshed out world, with interesting ideas. The highlights of the film are the parts that go into the world, either through the way the Leaf men work or just the exposition dumps.

However, this film has flaws ghat kind of make it weaker than it should have been. But I’ll discuss that as we go along. For now, MK wants to talk about personal stuff. She wants him to stop all this, and their conversation is cut off by something Dad’s machines are picking up on. He has to head out as the tiny guys are suspected to be on the move.

Yeah, it’s kind of Dick-ish of him to leave just as she starts talking, but it is part of his development, to see her point of view. But since his crazy theories turn out to be real, you can construe this in any way you want.

Some of the cliches, like this, bugged me on my first vewing, but after watching Mr Coat’s video, I started to see some parts in a different light. I still think this could have been written better, but they try to make this part as good as possible without falling into the trappings of other films.

Anyway, Dad leaves to do stuff, and MK is sad.

“Sure Dad, I’ll be here, in reality”

Ouch.

We back to the Forest world, as Tara is walking around. And here we meet the 2 characters you either like or hate, Mub and Grub, voiced by Chris o Dowd, and Aziz As..as…asnari…asn…the Indian dude from Parks and Rec. They are these 2 slug dudes who are out comedic sidekicks.

You either find them very funny or very annoying. I’m in the middle. Sometimes they are annoy, and sometimes they are funny. I wish that they were toned down so I can enjoy the film better but they do play a part in the plot, which is more than I can say for other Comedic Sidekicks out there.

I see why some people hate them but eh, I’ve seen far far worse. They work for the Queen and the skinny one gives her this pod. See, she chooses the Heir via this pod, I think. She’s picked her Heir I guess, so of course the bad guys storm in.

This leads to an amazing action/chase scene. Seriously, it’s pretty epic. ..And now the title makes sense. Anyway, Ronin tries to get Tara away from the bad guys, but while they are in the sky, something happens and she falls down. She falls right next to MK, who ran into the forest to catch up to the dog I forgot to mention.

The pod flies into MK’s hands, and boom she’s shrunk down. Before she has time to react, Tara tells MK to take the pod to Nimgaloo. Then Tara dies.

…Well, I didn’t see that coming. Wow, this movie actually has balls after all. Yeah, it’s a tad cliché but it works. It’s a nice dramatic moment, especially when Ronin comes in and sees this happen to his Queen. It’s a very well done scene.

So yeah, the Leaf Men have a problem on their hands. The villains have kind of killed their Queen and they must protect their only hope. MK realizes she has shrunk but she has bigger things to worry about out, like…the fat slug fitting on her.

Ew.

The slugs say they are the pod caretakers, and I wonder why this epic Queen would put an important pod in the hands of….these guys.

“You’re kidding”

See, he gets it.

So a little girl, a warrior, and two slugs fly away on a bird, and the priest and the Rabbi are nowhere to be seen. We cut to Nod who is caught up in the wild world of Bird racing. He wins and he gets beat up by the henchmen of a frog voiced by Pitbull. Now that is a pointless casting choice. Doesn’t help that he was on some Promotional Images despite only being in like 2 scenes.

I guess there was some deal where Nod had to loose, but he ended up winning which pissed off the…frog mafia? I don’t know. Thankfully, he is saved by Ronin. He tells Nod that Tara is dead, and he’s as unhappy as everyone else. So now Nod wants back in. Hey, he’s too much of a dick after all!

Ronin lets him ride with him since he will be of more help than a teenage girl and Comic Relief slugs. Back in the Human world, Dad gets back home and sees a note from MK, saying she is leaving.

..I forgot to mention that part. Oops. Good thing we cut back to MK in the Leaf world, then.

Some Boggans appear and we have a chase scene. They escape them and MK and Nod end up in a tree…cave…thing. You know, I just noticed that we haven’t had a scene I was expecting. Where someone gives MK an exposition dump to tell her, and us, how the world works. Instead she’s thrust into this adventure and learns naturally, and thus, we do too.

…Props for that, I guess.

After a fight with an Evil Mouse, Mub tells Nod that MK is his. Again, ew. After some stuff that’s skippable, our heroes head to the home of the scroll keeper. The first thing we see of him is…him singing. Yeah, a musical number because …he’s voiced by Steven Tyler. …Eh, the song is awesome so I don’t care.

It ends when he finds out that Tara is dead, and he bumps into our heroes. As it turns out, Nim doesn’t know what to do with the pod. So they head into the scroll room, as they contain the full history of this place. Every event is recorded there, even the slug doing dumb stuff upon hearing that.

They find out that the pod must bloom tonight in the light of the full moon. So that’s good but MK still needs a way home. Nim gives her a scroll, and tells her to blow on it. She does and Tara’s …ghost, I think, pops up to tell her to- insert Obi Wan joke here. Uh, I mean, a recorded of her from the moment she died reveals she gave the pod to her cuz she can’t take care of anymore, due to ….a vacation, of course.

MK must stay with the pod when it blooms because she’s important, I guess. In the meantime, they take a break as Nod and MK exchange some banter. He takes her outside to ride a deer, because we need to create some shippers somehow!

Through this, we find out how much Nod misses his real Dad, and it gives the characters room to breathe. Back in Nim’s tree…place, Mandrake shows up to take the pod. Naturally, Ronin is pissed when Nod and MK get back.

“Do you ever think about anyone besides yourself?”

He’s got a point, to be honest. MK takes the blame, though, since the Queen gave it to her. She even offers to help get it back. They plan to get the pod back from the bad guys, but before we get more into that, we cut to Mandrake as he has the pod…and the slimy baggage that comes with it. …That means he has the slugs too.

His plan is to make the pod bloom in darkness, so thus the forest’s last hope to be green shall vanish and he can take over. Eh, I’ve heard worse plans, so I give it a thumb ups. Back with our heroes, they sneak into MK’s house to get some Boggan armor so they can sneak into their place to get the pod.

While they look, Dad pops up and we find out that these tiny guys call us “Stompers” and they have been stopping him from finding their land. MK takes offense to their mocking, and she reveals he is her Dad. Oh yeah, Nod didn’t know that MK was a shrunk stomper until now. This doesn’t cause issues but it’s interesting, I guess.

Also, Dad’s theory about the small people seeing big people as slow was correct. Speaking of Dad, he’s sad because MK supposedly left, and he realizes what he has done. It confuses me how certain people (not naming names) see him as an awful person when he is clearly much better than most “Workaholc” Dads in films like this. He’s learning his lesson, at least. And hey in this case, he actually does have an issue, and it’s not the kid being a brat.

Then again, it wouldn’t be the first animated to be overhated. …Yeah, I gotta review Chicken Little someday.

MK sees this but she starts getting chased by the dog. They run away but Dad sees them and uses a thingy to catch MK in a jar. He sees it’s MK and he faints, dropping the jar. It breaks, setting her free. Well, that was fast.

Don’t worry, that wasn’t pointless, as we’ll see later. Plus, it was cool to these small people in a huge house. They get the Boggan armor and they head into enemy Territory. Ronin creates a distraction while MK and Nod find the Pod…and the slugs too but mostly the pod. Huh, the slugs don’t do much despite being important. Good.

Ronin bumps into Mandrake and they have a fight while our heroes try to escape. This whole scene where they escape while hell is breaking is loose is pretty amazing. The movies weaker tendyc clam down while we are treated to great action, nice animation, and even good music. This is really is a movie I appreciate more on a 2nd viewing.

They escape but sadly, Ronin ends up staying behind. He ain’t dead but they must think he is. They get the pod back home and it looks like the moon will shine on it soon. …So now what? …Well, Mandrake and his goons pop up to block out the moon. That;s what.

The leaf men fly up there to fight the bad guys. MK wants a way to help and she decides to get her Dad. She takes a bird we cut to Dad thinking about how crazy he is. He starts to turn off his cameras (I think I mentioned that he has them set up all over the Forrest) just as MK flies into them to get him to see her. Wah wah.

But there is a bright spot. Before they left, MK put a pin on his map, to show him where the actual tiny world is. He sees and he says “MK!”. A pin means MK was there…okay then. So he heads into the forest and sees MK. He has a thingy that helps him see/hear tiny people, by the way.

“You were right. About everything. I’m sorry”

“Me too”

Since he was right….does that mean the film is justifying Dad neglecting his family, or what? I see some sign that he learned something but from the way MK says sorry, I’m not sure.

Anyway, Mandrake almost has the pod, but Ronin pops up to kick some ass. Even after fighting a lot of goons to get here, he’s still up for a fight against a big Bad. This movie should have been about him!

MK uses a sound on Dad’s ipod (PRODUCT PLACEMENT!1!!) to scare away the bats the Boggan are using to block the moon. Mandrake almost has Ronin but Nod shows up to be a badass. I swear, everything having to do with the actual word is consistently badass.

The moon is unblocked and the pod starts to bloom. Also, Mandrake is defeated by being thrown into this….weird…thing on a tree. Eh, the climax with him was good enough. From the pod, Tara’s ghost pops up to choose an Heir: This kid leaf dude that wanted to be Qyeen (despite being male) who I never talked about cuz he was only In like 1 scene. Yaaay.

During all this, Nod and Ronin make up, showing they both have learned a lesson. The new Queen/King uses his new powers to get MK back to her normal size. MK says her goodbyes and she kisses Nod. There was no romance, so I assume this is a friendship kiss.

So after her big adventure, MK finally leaves and reunites with her Father. It’s kind of sweet, I guess. We cut to later, as they 2 work together more often, bonding over the whole leaf people thing. So the way for them to patch things up was for MK to embrace his unhealthy obsession?

…It’s getting hard to defend this guy. She gets a call from Nod, which is just him contacting her via one of those camers. …And Mub shows up to hit on her again. I know I said ew twice but…EW!

They start arguing and Mub tries to ..eat Nod.

“Ew!”

What she said.

She goes to…fix whatever the hell that is, and Dad goes with her, now that they are true team, doing all this stuff. Eh, at least Dad learned to bond with family more…i guess. We’re almost done.

And by almost, I mean we are done. They run off, we pan out, epic music plays, and we get our title card. Roll credits. Eh, decent ending. They could have wrapped things up better, but it’s fine as it is.

Also, Pitbull is credited before Jason Sudekis, despite having two scenes. I skipped the 2nd one, that’s how unimportant he is.

Final Thoughts:

While I’m not quite as crazy for the film as Mr Coat, I did like this one. It was much better on a 2nd viewing. However, it is flawed and it could have been even better.

I’ll just knock out the flaws first. The characters can be a tad generic at times. Despite some nice moments, some just fill in the quota. The comedic sidekick, the lead girl, the workahloic Dad, the bad guy, etc etc.

I’m not saying they suck, most of them are likable. I would like some depth, though. Also,the story can be a bit weak. It’s not bad, but more complexisty would be cool. As a whole, the thing should have took more chances. The queen dies, but that’s it.

I wanted to be as grand, or complex as a Pixar film, or even How to Train your Dragon. But it isn’t. It’s still …well epic but it maybe needed to take some chances. But as it is, it’s a good movie that I had fun watching.

The characters themselves work fine. MK is likable even if she is a tad generic, and she’s one of the best animated Humans I’ve seen in awhile. The Dad is…well the most flawed characer, but he isn’t in it much so I don’t mind him.

Nod and Ronin have a decent, if a bit cliché story arc, that works out fine. While Nod is okay , I really love Ronin. His side is interesting and he’s just a badass. I like him. The Queen is there to die but she’s cool, and I like the villain. He isn’t complex but he was badass and he was cool.

The slugs were..okay. They were funny at times, and they were annoying at times. Despite being important, they aren’t in it enough to bug me. They could have been cut out but eh, I’ve seen worse sidekicks. The characters, overall, could have been better, but I’ve seen worse.

The animation is good. I think I’ve said this before, but this has Blue Sky’s best animation, bar none. Everything looks amazing, nad it makes the awesome fight scenes even better. I said before that the world is the highlight of the film and it truly is.

I like the world building, and the writing is at it’s best when it’s dealing with that, rather than some of the more cliché parts. However, the film is still fun either way. Despite some flaws, I had fun watching this one. The animation and action makes this one so much fun and I actually enjoyed doing this review, even if I didn’t have that many good jokes.

While Blue Sky has done better films in my eyes, this is among their best. It could have been more dating, but as it is, it’s pretty good. My grade may be too high, but I stand by it.

Grade: B+

If you missed out on this one, check it out, it’s not as bad as you heard it was.

Next time…I won’t say, cuz it’s special. I’ll just say that it’s another good movie, that I reviewed for a special reason.

See ya.

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The Lone Ranger (Part 2)

The Thrilling Conclusion?

The Thrilling Conclusion?

Hello, Spongey here.

PREVIOUSLY, ON THE LONE RANGER:

John, a normal guy, teamed up with Indian Jake Sparrow, to take down a bad guy who’s evil plan is causing war between the white man and the Indians. That took 80 minutes to establish.

NOW FOR THE CONCLUSION.

Let’s see how they end things. When we last left off, John was making silly faces at some Indians. It doesn’t work but they speak English now because reasons. John tells them Tonto told him some stuff and they say that Tonto is cuckoo for coca puffs. Then they go into his backstory.

When Tonto was a boy, he rescued Cavendish and another man from near-death and showed them the location of a silver mine, in exchange for a pocket watch. The men murdered the tribe to keep the mine a secret. …Well, that’s dark for a movie that had Tonto feeding a dead bird. I mean…geez, I’ve heard people bitch about the tone and I can see why.

…But this story itself kind of fits with the character, so ah well. Tonto was guilty so he went crazy and deluded himself into thinking some weird shit. Huh, that puts the forced comedy into a new light, doesn’t it?

After that backstory, the chief has John and Tonto buried in the sand for reasons I forgot already. Also, Comedy right after the genocide!

So the Indians are going to war with the white men, even though that story confirmed that the Cheif knows about Butch and thus should know that he’s to blame, not the good guys. But whatever keeps the plot going for another hour.

Jonn escapes with the help of the horse (really) and he…just leaves Tonto there.

TONTO: It is a good day to die.

“”Same to you”

Our hero, ladies and Gentlemen!

…Then John comes back to get him cuz Tonto knows where the river begins, which is where he needs to start finding Butch. So he was gonna leave Tonto there and only got him cuz he will be of help to him. Again, our hero.

We cut to the bad guys, as our heroes arrive, giving us the scene on the poster. John has Butch where he wants to, and Tonto hands him a gun with a silver bullet in it.

“No, this isn’t justice”

Together, we can BE justice!

“I’m not a savage”

Ah, we’re going for that kind of thing, eh? Well, just a warning: If you snap his neck, people will throw a fit.

Tonto gets pissed, but John calls him out on his shit, as Tonto is making up half of the stuff he says, as we found out earlier.

“You sold out your whole village for a watch”

Yeah, that was pretty dumb. But you left your sidekick to die and only kept him for your own selfish needs. So…yeah.

Tonto is about to kill Butch anyway, but we’re only 95 minutes in, so John knocks him out. So now he’s just gonna take Butch to the property atrocities to lock him up. I sure hope Butch doesn’t try to escape since being tied up and put on a horse isn’t a hard place to escape from.

John takes Butch to these guys for Justice. Also, Rebecca and Danny were found by these kind of good guys, but they are being held by them so she won’t go out and see that John is there…or something. I don’t know, Wikipedia isn’t giving me anything on this part, but it is telling my the twist about to pop up.

John talks to Cole and here’s that twist: Cole is Butch’s partner. WHAT A TWIST! Too bad I haven’t mentioned Cole that much so to you guys it doesn’t matters. Cole had Dan killed cuz he knew about the war they were trying to start.

Danny pops up (Rebecca escaped but she isn’t in this part) and Cole tells him that John kills his father, Dan. This is intense because Danny has a gun for reasons I won’t get into. But I guess that doesn’t matter, cuz we move on to John being taken to the Silver mine to be executed.

But it’s interrupted by the Indians as we get a big fight. The two groups fight bravely…but the Indians get their asses handed to them. Wah wah. Also, more Genocide for the kiddies!

John and Tonto are…not happy about this.

“There is no justice”

The next day, we have the opening of the new railroad, which Cole is using to mine silver, or something. And that finally takes us back to the bank robbing thing from earlier. Sure took us long enough to get back here.

They stage the robbery to steal nitroglycerin and use it to destroy a railroad bridge. …They still robbed a bank though. Our heroes!

Tonto goes onto this train to do more robbing while Red randomly shows up again to distracts some guards. She’s a woman so you know what I mean by distract. Some stuff happens and our heroes storm the train, leading to the scene that EVERYONE likes.

Seriously, no matter how much people hate this movie, everyone praises this climax. For one, we have the classic music, and it’s set up to a pretty sweet action set piece. How can you can the film is over budgeted when you need money to make something like this?

The other action bits have been okay but this part is just awesome. It has that sense of fun the film kind of needed more of. That and it’s just as long as it needs to be. I’m not sure if it’s worth waiting 120 minutes or so for, but ah well.

To make a long story short, the awesome (seriously, it is so amazing) climax ends with Butch being stopped, and Cole’s train falling off a bridge. Trust me, the defeat feels so much more satisfying in context.

I mean wow, the music, action, and all that stuff makes this climax a ton of fun. I see the haters even like it. With that, John is hailed as a hero.

“I like to express our graduate to this masked man…this lone ranger”

Already did the joke, sorry.

John tells Rebecca he can’t stay and I wonder why she even in this movie cuz she hasn’t done anything. She hasn’t developed or anything. Even Danny got a few badass moments, and John says he is no longer a boy.

Anyway, John catches up with Tonto and they decide they shall be outlaws, heading out to stop bad guys, in the sequel that will sadly never happen. With that, we return to 1933 for, hopefully, one last time.

The kid asks if all that was real.

“Up to you”

Lame.

Old Tonto leaves and the kid puts on his mask. We cut back to the story for a bit to see John finally saying the catch phrase.

“Hi ho Silver, away!”

“Don’t ever do that again”

Gotta love that respect for the source materiel.

So they ride off, and the credits finally roll. That was a 140 minute film, meaning it’s 2 hour, 20 minutes. Not 2 and a half hours. That’s nitpicky but come on guys, when you bitch, get it right. It’s still 140 minutes I’ll never get back. At least it’s over.

Final Thoughts:

Well, that was underwhelming. I dedicated 2 posts to this movie, and after all is said and done, I feel…underwhelmed. It may be due to the fact that they never justfity the length. Bitch all you want about the lgenth of Bayformers, but a lot of stuff happens in those movies, so when I did Dark of the moon in 2 part, it felt needed.

This, not so much. The only reason I did it in 2 parts is cuz there’s no way I’m doing a movie this long all at once. And honestly, that’s the biggest problem with the movie. Any other issue I have stems from this.

Basic story? Wouldn’t be so bad with a 90 minute run time. Lack of development? Wouldn’t be highlighted if it was shorter. See what I mean? But let’s address the elements.

Story is basic but even with the length, that’s okay. It didn’t need any twists, but again, that story did not need to be 2 freaking hours! Anything interests lies within the characters.

Speaking of those, the only ones that matter are John and Tonto. Everyone else is…there. Dan existed to lie, Rebbeca is the woman that needs to be saved, (but she’s not annoying, at least) Danny is a boy who is kind of cool, Red is…there for 2 scenes, Cole is the guy who turns out to be to be a bad guy, and Butch is…well evil. To be fair, Cole’s plan is fairly clever and it does kind of justify a few bits in the story, so I’ll say our villains are decent enough.

The acting is pretty good, I suppose. The only stands out though are Tonto, Cole, and Butch. Depp at least tries and he’s far less dumb than I expected. But less comedy would be nice, so that mood whiplash does not happen. Cole and Butch’s actors do a good job making a threatening villain, especially Butch.

Everyone else is…well not bad, but just there. Also, again, I say the wrap around has no reason to be there. It’s pointless and just another example of this film’s filler.

John is just kind of there, as the hero. He has some asshole moments, and he never really…pops, you know. In some parts he’s badass, mostly the climax, but he’s kind of dulll. Not bad at all, just there. The 140 minutes we sepdn with him makes this worse.

Tonto is mixed. He does some dumb things but he is the most interesting character, with as back story that I kind of liked. However, it feels like no one really changes. And while we’re on our heroes, they have no chemistry. Like in RIPD, it’s mostly harsh bickering and they don’t seem to work well as a team, even by the end.

I’ve seen worse, like in…well RIPD, but they did leave a lot to be disered. On the bright side, the action is solid, it looks great (the film needed the big budget, trust me), and like I said, the climax is amazing. To the film’s credits, it’s not…bad. It’s just…okay. Most of it is fairly enjoyable at times, and I fail to see how it’s the worst thing ever.

It has flaws but there’s nothing offensive or awful here. Yeah, it has dark stuff but it’s there for the story. I think raking out some of the comedy could have helped these parts. It’s enjoyable in some parts, but it did not need to be this long. It has too much filler, nad all of my issues are highlighted with the length.

If it was like 90 minutes or so, it would be a fun ,breezy ride. But as it is, it’s an overlong mess that has it’s moments. They tried, they really did, but it needed some serious editing.

….But seriously, at least watch the climax. It’s so much fun and I wish the rest of the movie was fun as that. It doesn’t lack fun, it just needed more of that.

So yeah, the movie is just okay. Not as bad as people say, but not as good as it could have been. A great climax can’t make up for an overlong film that just needed some re-writes. Meh.

Grade: C+

Next time, we look at something a bit more…Epic.

See ya.

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