Important Review Annoucement

Hello, Spongey here.

So, I have an important announcement today, regarding my play by play movie reviews. As you all may know, I do reviews every 4 days, doing 20 minutes of the film each day and posting the review on day 4. I’ve been doing since like…Early 2013, at least.

But if you payed attention at all, you may notice some schedule slip here and there. A good chunk of the reviews come out one day later than expected, and this has happening for awhile now. This is not a huge deal, but it is starting to add up. You may also notice I do other things more often, mostly on Deviant Art where I post those Notepage and 1001 Animations things, and other things ripped off from Mr Enter.

And as of right now, I’m working on a bunch of lists and stuff that is not related to movie reviews. You know, the main thing you come to this blog for. Yeah, there’s a reason for that: Lack of passion.

I’m sure every reviewer suffers burn out at some point. Especially once you get into the swing of things and do reviews all the time. That happens because you are in your prime, getting new ideas left and right. But eventually, things get tiring. Eventually, you just lose that passion you once had.

However, usually it’s not so much lack of passion, as it is just burn out. I have to cover 20 minutes of a movie every day, and with my new interest of other things, that starts to add up. Some may blame these other things for my laziness, as I put so much effort into other stuff that I just get lazy on doing other things. After all, doing all this other stuff proves I’m just 100 percent lazy.

However, that’s not really It. I’m laying low on a lot of that DA stuff, and I mostly am working on some lists and other things now. But the point stands, I care more about that than my reviews.

What I’m trying to say is that I am feeling a lack of passion. But it’s not so simple. I do feel passion sometimes, even now. When in the heart of reviewing something, I have a lot of fun and get that passion back. But the next day, I may me all lazy and tired again. So it’s not even consistent.

At first, all this was due to me moving and having to deal with that. But I’ve been situated for awhile, so it’s no longer that. And hell, it likely is my laziness. I have my computer and TV in my room now, which I now share with my brother. Before, it was a tad different and my old comptuer was slower, so I mostly did Non-Review stuff on different computers and yada yada.

In short, i’m in more position to be lazy now. However, that isn’t really the complete answer. It is lack of passion as well. I just care more about other things, as I’m having fun doing things I don’t do often.

I’ve been doing this reviewing thng the same way for awhile, and it feels like I’m saying the same things, Of course, this isn’t always the case as VHS and Good Ghouls go Bad were pretty different, and as a result, they were fun. I had passion there.

But then you have something like the movie I’m reviewing now, Paranormal Activity The Marked Ones. It’s not quite as interesting as other films I review, (and quite frankly, it’s just tiring me with how typical it is.) and I’m just not working as hard on it. Each section is taking far too long. That happens sometimes, and it does tend to happen with movies like this. It’s not quite as common with things like Vampire Academy.

But look, no matter what bullshit excuse I use, the fact is that I’m a bit lazier. And above all else, lack of passion is a big factor. I have considers flat out quitting the reviews, but then I remembered I have movies I genuinely want to review, and I may miss out on some of that action.

So I decided that I will do what Doug Walker did. As you recall, he quit NC as he felt he was out of ideas, but eventually he figured it out it was just burn out. So he brought NC back and now reviews come every two weeks.

So thus, I will do something similar. Instead of every 4 days, I will do one review a week. So instead of having to do work every single day, I can take one or two days off in the middle. Trust me a bit of a break can do you wonders.

Now, you may think that won’t fix things, as 7 days to do my usual stuff isn’t much better. But it really is. I’ll still the 20 minute at a time stuff, but I can take off say now that I only need one a week. This will start in November, so you will get my last 2 Halloween reviews on time. Well, sort of. Marked Ones is Tuesday, and my final Halloween review is one…well Halloween, this Friday.

After that, my new Schedule comes into effect. Let’s say I did a review every…Wednesday, or so. Then I could simply do my 20 minutes thing for 2 days, take a break for 2 days, and then finish things up, with a day or so to spare. It will always be posted on the day I tell you it will be posted, and since I don’t plan on finishing on the post date, this will give me time to relax.

And hey, with extra time after finishing a review, I can use the time to spell check! …Yeah, no. But I will still use that extra time. In the long run, it will be better. Don’t expect “Better” reviews, just more on time ones.

If you read my recent reviews, they feel the same. At least, I hope they do. So I get the passion when I need to, it’s that…actually getting up and doing them that’s the problem. Having to only do one every week (making for 4 reviews a month, give or take) will fix that problem, since I can pace myself better.

Which day on each week will the review come out? I have no idea. I’m thinkign about it, and I want you guys to suggest a day. Not Monday, as there’s no way I will get one out for the first Monday in November. All other days are fare game, but keep in mind if you picked Saturday or Sunday, the first Nov. review will come out on the first true Sat or Sun on the month. Not the one right after Halloween this week. Cuz guys, I can’t do a review in just one or two days. It’s not possible.

Nowadays, i’m feeling more passions for other things than the usual reviews, but I don’t want to deprive you of those, so hopefully this system will give us a nice balance. Now I have an excuse to work on other stuff all the time!

So yeah, that’s all I got. Suggest a day and ask any other questions if you wish. I still have that official Q&A going on, you know.

TLDR VERSION: I’m doing one movie review a week now because lazy. Tuesday and Friday reviews be normal and it comes into effect in Novemeber.

That’s all I got, so just keep all this in mind. Bye.

See ya. …I said bye twice, in two different ways. Weird.

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V/H/S 2

Who knew a movie called VHS 2  would do well in 2013?

Who knew a movie called VHS 2 would do well in 2013?

V/H/S 2 is property of Magnet Releasing

Hello, Spongey here.

Last time, I reviewed the Found Footage Anthology Film “V/HS”. It was a bit uneven, with boring parts and awesome parts. But overall, it was an interesting experiment that I more or less enjoyed it.

It made money so they made a Sequel. I only thing I knew about this one going on is that people liked this one a lot more. Even those who enjoyed the first one thought thus one outclassed it in every way. So, I have high hopes going in here.

There isn’t too much to say before we jump in. Like last time, not many notable writer/actors/directors here. It’s just a simple Found Footage Anthology sequel, and we’ll jump right into it.

Yeah, it’s one of those intros. Let’s see if they creators have learned their lesson from the first film.

This, is V/H/S 2

The movie opens with an Investigator, failing to do his job. He is filming a couple at a motel (which gives us baked breasts. Doesn’t beat 41 Year Old Virgin’s Record, but it’s close) but he is caught and he escapes.

Then we cut to him and his female partners investigating the disappearance of some college kid. …Was that first bit pointless?

They break into the student’s house and find a laptop which has a video of the student talking some tapes he found. Larry, the dude investigator, finds those tapes and pops one in. Well, this is already an improvement in terms of framing narratives. Not great but it should be okay.

Our first segment, called “Phase I Clinical Trials” starts with a dude getting Eye Surgery. He had an accident and had to fix an inured eye. He had special surgey so they put a recording chop in the eye itself to test data, or whatever.

Well, that’s one way to get your found footage. And it fixes the “PUT DOWN THE CAMERA” thing. But how the hell is all this on a VHS tape?

He heads home to try out our cool POV gimmick and of course, creepy things happen. He mostly sees scary screamer faces. He calls his doctor and plans to get his eye fixed tomorrow. Well, he’s dead.

He hears weird noises, which into loud noises. The POV makes this bit pretty intense, despite some jump scares. The noises calm down by morning. A girl from the Doctor’s office shows up, knowing about the creepy stuff he is dealing with.

She reveals she had the same type of surgery but it with her ear, and she started hearing Ghosts. She even heard a little girl crying when she came in. Oh hey, I’m in summarize the movie mode again. Woo-Hoo.

The ghosts become stronger when someone pays attention to them. Even when this special implant is taken out, you will still see the ghosts. How she knows the rules, I don’t know. So she’s likely a bad guy.

Then a really creepy fat dude appears in the big window. Now that’s disturbing. She says she knows a way to stop this…and she starts fucking our hero. ….Okay then.

We cut to later, as he wakes up and faces more screamer faces. Clarissa, the chick is attacked by the ghosts and she dies. Well, she’s dead.. No seriously, she just died.

We get a bunch of suspense as runs around the fucked up house. Finally, he decides to take out his new Eye implant since that will totally get rid of the ghosts that are already here and able to kill people.

Naturally, all this does is give him more pain. Some creepy ghosts attack him and one stuffs the eye camera down his throat. End Segment, Fairly basic, but very well done, I must say,. Creative concept with a solid execution. This is already better than the first one!

Back in the framing story, the Student says you must watch the tapes in a certain order for them to affect you. She puts in the next tape and we move on. Huh, they learned not to give us too much time with crap we don’t care about. Yay!

Segment 2 is called “A Ride In The Park” and it opens with a dude putting on his fancy Go Pro Bike Helmet camera thing. More POV? That’s cool, I suppose. And this quote, from him talking to his wife on the phone, is all you need to know about him:

“You ride that Bike more than you ride me”

He heads off and he sees a hysterical Woman who seems to be in trouble. She vomits all over the place, which is gross. Suddenly, he hears voices behind him.

“I GOT A BIG FUCKING STICK

Oh man, we got a badass over here. HE HAS A BIG FUCKING STICK!

The crazy woman bites him and she’s a Zombie. Dun dun dun! He starts vomiting blood and gets all bloody from the woman’s attack. He falls down and we are treated to silence for a minute. Woo-hoo.

Some bikers come across him and think he’s dead, as he has no pulse and he isn’t moving. One biker calls the authorities about the dead body they found, which is the smartest thing I’ve seen in a horror movie in a long long time.

Suddenly, our camera sporting hero gets up and attacks one of the bikers. Whoa, he’s a crazy zombie…that’s awesome! Cool to see the guy we are following actually become a Zombie in one of those stories. Anyway, he pretty much starts eating away at the dude biker, which is disgusting and awesome. He gets up and now the bikers are zombies,but with weird obviously fake eyes that just make them look silly.

Either way, it’s nice that the zombies got a found footage movie to star in. As the people we follow. They invade a birthday party which means more gore and awesome stuff. But eventually, our main guy sees his reflection and he stops. Naturally, this gives the normal people a chance to attack him.

He pocket dials his girlfriend and she asks if he’s okay. She then simply says “I love you” and hangs up without getting any answers. He then grabs a shotgun and kills himself. Given he’s a Zombie, I’m not sure if it worked.

He’s not moving…so it did. End Segment. Well, that was even better! Not the most original Zombie story, but it was a lot of fun, with great gore effects and one of the best uses of POV I’ve seen in awhile. I dug this one.

After a brief bit in the framing story, we go to Segment 3, called “Safe Haven”. This one’s from the director of The Raid, so it’s gonna be interesting. A news crew is in infiltrating an Indonesian cult, which is something I never thought I would say.

They are talking to one member, who going on about the usual stuff, like a higher plane and Non Believers, and whatever. However, one lady says they plan to do a completely Non-Biased report from the inside, showing the ideals of this guy’s family and all that good stuff.

After some coaxing, he agrees to let them in for the report. Well, they’re dead. They meet his family and they seem rather nice. They head inside their main building, and we see the usual innocent cult stuff.

One of the crew members starts feeling sick and she goes to the bathroom. While she’s gone, the interview with the Head Dude starts but we cut to her so that doesn’t matter for now. On the way, she ends up walking into one of the Classrooms that are there. Suddenly, two woman walk in and start acting creepy.

‘You are very blessed”

While that is going on, the Head Dude says they are washing away the children’s impurities. The guy interviewing him isn’t happy to hear this.

“They will stand by me on the front lines, in front of the pearly gates”

Well, this cult clearly has no weird intentions at all.

The crew woman takes one guy aside to tell him she is preggo, and he’s the father. What a twist? …What’s happening with the head dude?

“It’s time”

Insert Kickassia joke here.

He says some stuff, and he has all of his children of the cult take a cup and drink the liquid within it. While that is going on, one guy (may be the guy from a minute ago, idk) finds this weird room, with a blood soaked tarp that has a woman under it. Through a JUMP SCARE we see that her stomach has been ripped open and something has come out. Now we’re getting somewhere!

The head dude takes his shirt off and threatens the interviewer with a knife. The dude is killed and it’s pretty awesome. I love how he is just casually hums as he walks away, soaked in his blood. It’s hilarious.

Back with that Preggo chick, she bumps into some creepy Asian kids, cuz we need creepy kids to make sure the viewer knows this is creepy. Jokes aside, this is pretty intense

Just then, the cultists start a mass suicide, and one random camera man is attacked. But he grabs a shotgun and fucking blows a dude’s head off! Holy shit, that’s awesome!

…I’m easily impressed.

He’s killed, and we join the chick as she dragged by creepy kids, lead by the blood soaked head dude, who is singing. This segment got awesome really quickly.

The guy who is her baby’s father (See, this is why it’s good to give us names if your story is this long) finds her in a weird room as she is being held down by the kids. He stops the kids but he can’t get the chick out as she is giving birth. She’s covered in blood and her stomach has a weird symbol on it, so you can guess what kind of thing is gonna pop out of her.

And of course, a monster pops of her. A really huge one too, not the small demon spawns you might expect. This is some pretty gruesome stuff, and I love it.

The dude runs away and finds out that the cultists are now zombies. Yeah, more Zombies but at least this time it’s…creative. This whole scene with him running away from the Zombies is pretty intense, actually. The direction alone makes it at least sort of unique, at least more so than than our last Zombie Story.

The dude escapes and runs to his car and it actually starts. A car starting on a horror movie? What is this witchcraft? Of course, that’s not the end as the insanely fast monster catches up to him. And we see the monster’s head.

vhs

Yeah, it looks less silly in full context, but..yeah.

“Papa”

…Well, that’s interesting. The dude laughs his ass off, and our segment ends. …Well, that was kind of awesome. I mean, it was pretty boring/slow at first, but the ending was amazing. It was really creepy, very intense, and full of just awesome things. It was pretty insane, actually.

However, it was way too long. It starts at the 42 minute mark, and it ends at 1 hour, 12 minute mark. The other segments were fairly short, so that makes this weird.. We only have 4 Segment this time, so I get why why needed to be longer, but why make 2 of them shorter, just to make one longer? It’ll only make it feel like more of a slog. But eh, it had a good ending at least.

Back in the Framing story, Larry returns to see that his partner is dead. He sees a tape labeled “WATCH” and he obeys that order. This takes us to our final segment, called “Slumber Party Alien Abduction”. …NEW BEST TITLE EVER.

As the segment starts, we see this is will be from the POV of a camera on a dog’s back.. …That’s really stupid. We see the dog’s owners messing about, as their parents are leaving for the weekend.

Well, they’re gonna throw a wild party. And die at it. But first, They have their younger brothers help them mess with their sister, cuz of course they do it.

“She’s probably gonna shit her vag!”

Did someone just write that and commit that to film?

After a bunch of noise, we have more noise as they scare the sister and her boyfriend with loud music or some shit. The loud-ness doesn’t stop as suddenly the whole room shakes and everyone goes outside to see what is going on.

It turns out to be nothing, so we switch focus to the sister and boyfriend getting back at the boys. Yawn. She uses the camera dog to catch him fapping and she threatens to put it all over the internet.

Everyone is a horrible, annoying person. Who am I suppose to root for? The brother is only slightly more awful. Thankfully, the place shakes again and things get creepy. It’s actually a tad intense for a moment…but in this case I’m too annoyed to care.

Then suddenly, aliens! Yes, some classic looking Gray aliens pops up and take some of the kids. It’s weird, but awesome. We see all this from the dog’s POV, which makes it pretty interesting. This whole part with them running around isn’t too bad, it gets atmospheric and creepy. At least this keeps the trend of having a solid payoff.

The aliens distract them with flashing lights (So if this was a video review, it would need a Seizure warning) and the kids hide in a barn, with the dog. This part mostly focuses on the sister, so at least we have the ….most likable character going through this.

So of course, she’s the first one to be abducted. Bah. Thankfully, the brother is taken soon after. Once again, this is all very intense but with lesser characters, it doesn’t have quite as much impact. The boy drops the dog and it dies. End segment.

Well ,that was easily the weakest Segment. It was just really annoying with unlikable character, but it did have a very creepy payoff. But hey, at least I remember it.

Now let’s end on the framing story. Yeah, our first movie like this to end by ending the framing story. You think this would be common sense, but nope.

The Student explains that him wants to make a tape for himself. He then tries to blow his head off, and fails. It’s…kind of funny. Then the video shows Larry and the chick entering the room. Dun dun dun!

Yep, that happened just before they went in. Keep in mind, the shot was fired like a minute before they entered the room itself. So how the hell did no one hear that?!

Suddenly, the dead partner attacks Larry. More Zombies! This leads to some intense stuff, and it even makes a short jump scare work! Even if it kind of turns into a video game, when Larry shoots the girl as her head pops up.

He hides in the closest which works until the student pops up and kills him. He gives us a thumbs up, and the credits roll. Wow, even the Framing Story was decent! It didn’t go on too long and it ended on a fun note!

Nice. Not much else to comment on, so let’s finish this up.

Final Thoughts:

Now this is exactly what I was hoping for. This beats out the first film on every level possible. I still enjoy that one but this one was awesome. But that’s mostly on an enjoyment, as the film doesn’t break any new grounds in terms of writing.

But each segment was directed, intense, and just awesome. They were a lot of fun with their payoffs, even if they were slightly uneven in places. I can’t really decide a full favorite this time. The first one was the creepiest, the 2nd was the most even in terms of enjoyment, the 3rd was the most insane, and the 4th …okay that isn’t in the completion, but it had a good ending And hell, I’ve seen worse in movies like this.

When even an ennoying segment has something to praise, you know you have a good movie. Yes, the stories weren’t exactly complex or new, but they were all fun to watch and really intense. The direction in each was strong, setting up a good atmpshere and letting loose at the end.

Even the Framing Story works, as they don’t waste too much time with it, in between segments. It’s nothing special but it works in the end.

So overall, I highly recommend this one. While it’s nothing amazing in terms of writing, it’s highly enjoyable and well made. It has a few bumps, but it’s still very good. Again, my grade may seem low but it fits it’s objective quality.

Grade: B+

They made a 3rd one, which is now out on VOD, with a theatrical release next month. I’ll check it out, as long as it’s as good as this one.

Next time, we finally take on The Marked Ones. Yay.

See ya.

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V/H/S

Now Available on DVD and Blu-Ray!

Now Available on DVD and Blu-Ray!

Hello, Spongey here.

I think it’s time to tackle an actual horror film this month. And I picked one I’ve been quite interested in for awhile. It’s a weird choice to review, but eh, it could be fun.

I’m not sure how to introduce this one. It’s an Anthology film from 2012 that I’ve heard decent things about. Being an Anthology film, the reception was mixed, but it did well enough to get a sequel.

I’ve heard that one is better, but we’re talking about this one. Considering the last anthology film with a wraparound, directed and written by many people,i reviewed, I’m at least hopeful it will be better, being a horror film and all.

It won’t be nearly as scary, but we’ll see. You would think I have more to say here, but I don’t. There’s a Wikipedia page, for useless info, you know.

So yeah, let’s just jump in and see how good this film is. If it’s good at all.

This, is V/H/S

The movie opens with our framing narrative, which is found footage, of course. Our Camera holder is part of a group of criminals and he’s still more likable than Micah. By the way, this guy is a crappy camera man as I can’t see a damn thing half the time.

They do things like assaulting women and destroying abandoned houses. We get a few minutes of them doing stuff, until we find out they got a job given to them by an anonymous third party who is willing to pay them a large sum of money to burglarize a house and steal a single VHS videotape.

Well, these guys are dead.

When they get there, they find the dead body of an old guy. One dude stays with it while the others find the tape. He sees a tape in a VCR right there, so, for no reason he watches it. This takes into our first short. Eh, I’ve seen worse wrap arounds.

This first film is called “Amateur Night”. We open with 3 dudes in a Motel Room, as one guy’s glasses have a small hidden camera, which they will use to turn his sexual exploits into amateur porn. Sure, why not.

After a drunken montage, they stop at a bar where Clint makes a mysterious woman who says very little outside of “I like you”. Well, he’s dead.

They take her, along with another chick, back to the motel for some sexytimes. Is it a good time to mention that these 3 guys are obnoxious as all hell? Cuz they are. But I’ll talk about that when this segment is over.

The “Normal” chick passes out so of course one guy tries to do her anyway. Thankfully, no rape happens, and instead we are trapped to one guy about to have sex with the weird chick. He gets her naked and then they do it. It starts to get a bit out of hand as it almost becomes a threesome.

So…when does something interesting happen? I’ll give it a few more minutes.

“She just fucking bit me!”

Thank you.

Yep, Patrick apparently got bit by Lilly, the weird chick. I only know her name because of Wikipedia, the film has not said it at all yet. Lilly takes out her best screamer face and kills Shane. Now we’re getting somewhere!

Clint tries to fight Lisa but he get his asses handed to him. She drinks Patrick’s blood and Clint tries to escape. He falls down some stairs and breaks his wrist. Well, he’s dead.

Lilly catches up to him, but instead of attacking him…she tries to blow him. …Now I’ve seen everything. He’s, understandably, not aroused and she cries. He uses this chance to escape but Lilly catches him.

By that I mean she becomes a bat creature and picks him up into the air. Wow, when did this segment get AWESOME!?

His glasses fall off and the video cuts out. End segment. Of course it ends when it gets good. I won’t grade them, but I will “review” them. It was pretty annoying, but it had an awesome ending, so I’ll let it slide.

After some pointless stuff in the framing thing, another tape is played and we get our 2nd Segment, called “Second Honeymoon”. A couple is heading out for their, you guessed it, 4th Honeymoon. On the way to some place, they stop an old Wild West Town.

They come across a fortune telling machine thingy. It tells them that the wife will soon be reunited with an old love. Well, she’s dead.

They go to a motel room, and I think motel room’s are gonna be a theme in this movie. Later, the dude tells us, I mean her, that a girl showed up and asked for a ride, for the next day. Again, you people are dead.

That night someone breaks in, with a camera, and caresses the wife’s butt with a switch blade…. All I’m thinking is that it’s super convenient that this person has a camera too. The person does other things, like steal the dude’s money.

The next day, he notices that his money is missing, and he blames his wife. But they let it go so they can do a bunch of…things, to tide us over until something interesting happens.

Thankfully, that happens, as that night, someone comes in and stabs the dude. It gets pretty bloody, and it’s awesome. As it turns out, this person is indeed a woman and we see her kissing the wife.

…Well okay then. They run off, and the chick asks if the wife erased the tape. End segment. I suppose it was better than the first segment, but it was also kind of dull and it, once again, didn’t get awesome until the end. But hey, maybe the next one will be better.

The next tape is put in, and we have Segment 3, titled “Tuesday the 17th” …Okay. Three friends, along with their new friend, are going on a camping trip. Well, they’re dead. They banter a bit, and I personally can tolerate than more then the guys in the first segment. Which is weird.

They walk through the woods, saying some dumb dialogue that feels like leftovers from the last segment in which we had dumb banter. Then they start to annoy me as they go on with their banter without really forwarding the plot. Unless the plot relies on this nerdy dude smoking pot for the first time. Which I doubt,

Then one guy goes swimming in the lake, and nothing of substance happens. Yawn. Then this other dude and a blond chick are killed by a mysterious figure. Oh yeah, now we’re getting somewhere!

Then Wendy, that new friend, picks up the up the camera (the camera holder was killed) and asks the lake guy to fuck. …Well, this is getting interesting. See, in a bit I skipped, Wendy said this is a place where some evil dude killed some people, and those people were here friends. She came back to move on.

Wow, this story is actually getting really interesting despite a rough start. And given the track record, the ending won’t ruin it it! …I just jinxed it.

“They never caught him. They never believed me”

She begs him to help her and the evil dude shows up and kill him. Wah wah.

She runs away and we see that the camera can’t film him, as he just shows up as weird feedback, while everything else is fine. Now that’s actually kind of creepy. Eventually, the figure is impaled by…a thing. It’s a weird trap…thingy. Don’t know how to describe it. Either way, he’s dead.

But when she turns our, the figure vanishes. Then it pops up and beats her with the camera. Okay, that’s fucking awesome. It kills her and she suddenly jerks around and the camera goes out. End Segment.

Okay that was really good. It had a shaky middle, but it some interesting parts and an awesome ending. I enjoyed that one a lot. I hope the rest of the film stays on that level!

The next tape is put in (Yes, nothing happens in the wrap around crap each time) and we get Segment 4, titled “The Sick thing that happened to Emily when She was younger”. …BEST TITLE EVER.

It starts with the titular Emily having a Video chat with her boyfriend James. She has a weird bump on her arm but that doesn’t matter as they just move on to sex talk. This involves some boob shots, and yes, We’ve had a couple so far. I just forgot to mention them until this one. Trust me, they aren’t anything special.

She takes him on a video tour of her Apartment cuz why not. She says weird things have been happening. Well, she’s dead. These things include the usual stuff, like footsteps. Suddenly, she claims to hear a weird sound right then and there.

“My apartment’s haunted”

She’s likely right, or we wouldn’t be here. …How did most of these tapes end up in that house anyway? And it just hit me that this film is a found footage movie…about people finding found footage movies.

Whoa.

A weird figures pops up in her room and leaves. They discuss this weird occurrence the next day.

“Maybe it was like a breeze or something”

No.

That night, she hears another weird noise and more creepy shit happens. It’s fairly creepy so something of substance kind of happens, I guess. The next day, Emily tells James that she talked to her Landlord and he said no one ever died in her home.

“Well, that’s not something you’d want to advertise, right?”

Best character.

Also, Emily has a bump on her arm and she’s digging into it to find out what it is. It’s actually kind of disgusting, in a good way. James tells her not to pick at it and she stops. That night, Emily tries to solve this mystery once and for all.

She uses her webcam to go all PA on us as she explores the house. This is all during a video chat by the way. That’s the gimmick for this one. Of course, she bumps into a creepy figure and is knocked out. I’ll say it now: This movie has some damn good shock moments, as that bit worked pretty well.

James pop up in her apartment and okay what. He was literally just there at his computer and he pops up in her place like 5 seconds? The hell? I can accept any crazy crap about to happen but that? No way.

Anyway, he opens her stomach and takes out an Alien Fetus. ….Yeah, it’s more plausible than his super speed. As it turns out, James has been working for these aliens, as they are using Emily as an incubator for Alien/Human hybrids.

“She thinks I’m in Michigan”

Oh, so there was a bigger reason for me to bitch that I missed! Either way, we don’t know where he actually he is, and even if he’s next door, he still can’t pop up in that exact place in 5 seconds.

“That tracking device in her arm..”

Oh, thanks for point blank explaining it. Before we find out anything else, we cut to the next day as Emily’s memory has been erased, and she thinks she was in a traffic accident.

“I’m just crazy”

Crap, you just got me invested in a character in this movie. How dare you?!

“You deserve to be with someone normal”

…Dang it. Knowing James is…doing that makes this…even more interesting. James says he loves her…then he switches chats to speak to another woman…who has a bump on her arm.

“Don’t do that. I’ll look at it when I get there”

End Segment. …Well, I liked that one. The concept was kind of dumb, but it was creepy and it actually had a story with a real character. Thumbs up!

Back in the Framing story, I realize I forgot to tell you that a new guy inserts each new Tape and after the tape ends, he vanishes. So little of interest happens in these parts that I kind of forgot.

One guy goes upstairs to the find the remains of another guy and he is attacked by the zombie of that dead old guy. Once again, it’s some intense stuff, even if I couldn’t care less about this random guy.

He falls down some stairs and he is killed. We cut to the VCR room as our final segment plays by itself. …That’s it? That’s our framing story? Some douchebags go into a house, watch some movies, vanish, and die? Lame!

Whatever, it’s not bad but easily the weakest story, only saved by the fact that it’s just a wrap around. Now for our final segment, called “10/31/98” which takes place…on that date, I assume.

Some dude and his friends are heading out to a Halloween party. Well…you know what his state will be like by the end of this film, by now. They arrive to find that the house is empty. We get a lot of the same crap as before, but the banter is much more tolerable in this one, at least.

They hear weird noises and one guy guys to check it out. After more banter, they got to the Attic where they find a bunch of people, chanting while standing around a woman who is suspended from the rafters.

Our…heroes, join in to look cool but just end up looking awkward as they are caught. That was pretty funny, even if it wasn’t meant to be. They get pissed, and shit goes down. Again, it’s suspenseful and kind of awesome.

However, one guy actually goes back to save the girl. Holy shit, an admirable character in this movie! Get it away!

They save her and even more shit goes down as the house comes alive with ghosts and stuff trying to get them. It’s really awesome, being, fun, intense, suspenseful, and creepy. This movie has some awesome payoffs, I’ll give it that.

And when I say the house comes alive, I mean it. Tons of shit starts floating/attacking them and it’s really awesome. They pile into the car and the chick vanishes and re-appears in front of the car, making a screamer face.

Suddenly, they realize they stopped the car on some train track as a train is coming towards them. Now this part is really suspenseful and for once, I kind of care about what happens to these characters! …Well, to an extent, anyway,

And what happens? The train hits…and the tape flickers out. Roll credits. …You know what? I’m cool with an abrupt ending, as it works for this type of movie. Besides, it hits hard enough to leave me justified. Basic ending, but it works very well.

Also, the credits refer to the weird people from the final segment as “Cult Dudes”. Heh.

Final Thoughts:

I was a bit mixed at first, but overall I really enjoyed this one. However, my praise is more Subjective than Objective in the end. However, it has enough value in the end for me to appreciate.

Even the parts I bashed got better as I thought about it. Taking breaks during these reviews really do help me sort out my thoughts before it’s over. Anthology films are pretty tricky to do, since not all the segments will be to our liking, and it may be hard to enjoy the whole thing if you hate one segment.

Thankfully, this is the only type of the film where they allow you to skip the parts you don’t like, without missing anything. So it doesn’t matter in the end. Most of these segments have one thing in common: They are sort of dull, with weak banter, and then they have an amazing pay off.

Some are a tad better story wise, as such the Emily one, but most of them fall under that formula. For some, it works like the final Segment, but in others, it doesn’t. The biggest examples are the first 2 segments. I found the banter annoying and the 2nd one gets weaker the more I think about it. Actually, I can’t even remember anything outside of the fact that ending has 2 chicks kissing or something. I freaking typed a review of it like a day ago and I don’t remember it. Ouch.

I think these segments should have tried harder to make you interested BEFORE the crap goes down. The only one to do that is the Emily one, since the set up had me interested. Even my favorite Segment, the last one, had a slow start.

But honestly, each Segment, except maybe the 2nd one, and the framing one, had something awesome for me. This movie really goes all it when it needs to. It can be entertaning, suspenseful, and creepy, all at the same time. When it hits hard, it hits hard and it’s AWESOME.

The problem is that they needed better writers to make things more interesting. Each segment can be summed up as “Bunch of people who banter a lot bump into it weird shit”. Only the Emily one doesn’t really fall into this, and that’s hwy I liked it, despite the dumb premise.

I suppose I shall rank the segments in order of how much I personally enjoyed them.

6. Tape 56. This is the framing story, and it’s just not interesting at all. Even when things go down, nothing happens it’s really boring. And even kind of annoying. Not horrible, just nothing special.

5. Second Honeymoon. Anther boring one, but I enjoyed the ending, I guess. It just didn’t have anything interesting, to make it memorable. That’s why I like it less than I suggested back up there.

4. Amuter Night. I love the ending, but I can’t bring myself to care about/remember the rest. Still enjoyable despite a rough start.

3. Tuesday the 17th. A bit dull in places, but I enjoyed some of the banter and the ending was balls out awesome, with some creative things and even interesting bits in the story.

2. The Sick Thing that Happened to Emily when She was Younger. Yeah, the pay offi ns’t quite as awesome, but the writing was a lot stronger here, with some nice bits with Emily herself. Interchangeable with Tuesday but I appreciated it more.

1. 10/31/98. Yeah, the least interesting start but the ending went balls out and I loved every minute of it. Easily the most enjoyable segment.

So overall, I’ll give it a lower score than I want to, but it has too many flaws for me to like more. It’s very enjoyable, intense, and creepy but it’s also dull, forgettable, and just…weak. But the good parts make it worth it.

The found Footage aspect worked very well, making things creepy, but it didn’t really need to be like this. One of the better Found Footage films I’ve seen, but it could have been a real movie in some places.

So if you like Found Footage films more often than not, and you like what I’m saying, than you’ll enjoy it. Just pay attention to my criticisms. It’s very enjoyable, but very flawed.

Grade: B

Now I’m curious about how the sequel is. …You know what? Let’s find out next time. I don’t usually do this, but screw it. I wanna see it, so next time, we tackle V/H/S 2: The Rise of DVD!

…Wait.

See ya.

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Scooby-Doo! Frankencreepy

Sorry, but nothing will ever top FrankenTurkey.

Sorry, but nothing will ever top FrankenTurkey.

Hello, Spongey here.

If you ask me, it’s not Halloween without Scooby Doo. Whether you’re talking about the shows, the movies, or anything else, there’s no doubt those meddling kids and their stupid dog have left an impact on pop culture.

Previously, I reviewed the Theatrical Live Action movies, and the Direct to Video Prequel. I enjoyed them, but it’s mostly because I have a soft spot for Scooby Doo. Sure, it can be really dumb that’s part of the fun for me.

And it has a shit ton of incarnations, some good, some bad. My favorite is the most recent series, but that’s a subject for another time. In the late 90’s, they started a string to Direct to Video animated films.

And they are still going strong to this day. They tend to be hit or miss, but we all have a few like. It was hard to pick one to review, but I think I got one. I picked the most recent one.

Why? …I couldn’t find most of the ones I wanted to review. So yeah, we’re doing the new one. Besides, no one has reviewed yet, I bet. Plus, it’s more directly Halloween related. I’ll review it someday.

Now, Animated Scooby films go through eras. The first is the earlier, more dramatic era. This is where you got films like Zombie Island, which were darker and had real monsters. Than oyu had the “What’s new” era which were closers to the Scooby we knew, but we had some good ones there.

And the Era we are sort of in is the Mysteries Incorporated era. It’s not like that show in writing, but it is animation, and it shares the current voice actors, including Matthew Liliard, from the live action movies.

I haven’t seen a Scooby Movie since Samurai Sword I think, so I’m a bit behind. So we’ll see how much the newer one stacks up. This one was written by Jim Kreig, whose other credits including Frenemies and Spooksville.

He confirmed on Twitter that he didn’t have much control on the former, which explains a lot. And based on how Spooksville misses drama, scares, and Comedy, it makes sense that he would write this.

So we’ll how it goes. Not much else to say, so let’s go in.

This, is Scooby-Doo! Frankencreepy

The movie opens….with a Google ripoff, as someone is looking up “Daphne modeling pics” …Uh, should I be watching this?

Actually, it just leads to Daphne (Grey Delisle)’s website as she’s just talking about stuff. Then she mentions how her fans always ask her about her whole mystery solving carrer, which leads to clips from the original series. Huh, that’s cool. This is a live show and Fred (Frank Welker) calls in to give us more clips. Then Shaggy comes in and the clips go on.

What is this, a clip show?

It must be as Velma calls in to give us even more clips. They are just telling stories about their exploits, which seem like actual classic episodes, though I’m not sure. The clips tell me yes.

Velma’s family lawyer (voiced by Kevin Micheal Richardson) calls in to start the plot. He searched Velma Dinkley and the site came up. First off, aren’t there easier ways to get in touch? 2Nd, why does searching her name lead to this website as the very first result? Why click on it if it seems unrelated? So many questions in one small line!

“I’m texting you my address!”

…If you could text her, why didn’t you do it in the first place?!

So of course, the Mystery Gang heads off to meet him. He tells her she’s inherited her great uncle’s property and castle in Transylvania. Yep, this is a Scooby Doo movie. Also, that plot is basic I’m shocked they wait like 20 something movies to do it…and like 6 shows.

Also, it’s Transylvania…Pennsylvania. Heh. We are told this village is kind of like Amish Country, which doens’t please Daphne. By the way, the lawyer’s name is Cuthbert Crawley

He’s the villain. That or a suspect.

There’s a curse hanging over the estate, because of course there is. Velma doesn’t want the castle, mostly cuz she just doesn’t want it. They head back to the Mystery Machine…and it explodes.

…That’s one way to the movie going.

After the title sequence, they see a creepy due on the top of a building.

“That guy is the worst parking lot attendant in history”

Haw.

Crawley tells us that this guy is the ghost of a Baron, and the source of that curse.

“I should have been more forthcoming about the details”

“Gee, ya think?”

Heh.

The van explodes, leaving a message telling them to stay away from Transylvania. This is starting out really…cliche, to be honest. So of course, Fred wants to go there anyway because we need a plot.

Actually, Fred wants to go there to piss off the baddie, as he kills Fred’s van.

“Now it’s personal”

Damn, Fred is a badass!

They head to Transylvania on a train, where we get the usual jokes from Shaggy. That is until Velma reveals something. She has a family secret. Her real last name Von Dinkenstein, from which she and her parents shortened to Dinkley when they moved in from the old country. Her ancestor is Baron Von Dinkenstein, who was said to have created a monster. This verty story inspired Mary Shell to writer Frankenstein.

And all of this is why she is obsessed with solving mysteries and supernatural stuff. Huh, that’s actually pretty interesting. Didn’t see that coming. Now we are getting somewhere!

So yeah, that creepy dude is Baron’s ghost and naturally, he pops up to take over the train. He messes up the train and vanishes. They are able to stop the train and they arrive in Transylvania.

They are greeted by some townspeople, and they get pissed upon seeing Velma cuz of the whole Baron thing. Okay, I’ll just say this now: The pacing is kind of shit so far. It’s moving way too fast, never letting anything sink in. We just went from an out of control train to this with petty much no transition.

We’re about 18 minutes in, but it sure doesn’t well like it. Hopefully it’ll get better soon. Anyway, they blame Velma for the monster because Baron’s ghost popping up killed tourism …Still not seeing how Velema is too blame for that.

Also, the town makes torches. Heh, that’s funny. Not sure if it was meant to be, but it is. Then a Discount Igor shows up to take them to the castle. On the way there, Discount Igor tells them the story of Baron’s Monster.

“A minute ago you were speaking in grunts. When you did become so loquacious?”

Velma would be great at Cinema Sins.

They get to the castle to see that’s it’s huge and creepy. They meet the housekeeper, Mrs Vander who locks the door and says if they need to leave, they must find her as she has the only key.

That’s not ominous at all.

We get a tour of the castles, with all the jokes you expect. They head into Baron’s old lab where we got more wacky hijinks. Then they find a case with a weird creature that Baron must have been working on. It’s a regular Frankenstein.

“Frankenstein was the doctor, not the monster”

Of course they had to point that out.

The “monster” is encased in Ice, so Vander keeps the temperature low. You know, showing them an actual monster isn’t gonna make us less suspicious of you.

Velma is sure the monster is fake, naturally. In fact, her entire goal now is to prove that monsters don’t exist. So, do these Scooby doo movies have a “Canon” or does the Continuity reset in every movie? I ask cuz…Zombie Island, and all that.

The gang finds out that there’s a festival going on in town right now, so that’s our next stop in the plot. While there, Shaggy and Scooby enter an Eating contest because of course they do. Daphne stops to buy a dress at this one place, but she is confirmed that she is a Size 8, and she looks in the mirror and yep, she’s bigger now.

Now, this scene I actually heard aboiut it because people bitched about it. See, the curse I mentioned earlier, causes what people love most to be destroyed. In Daphne’s case, it’s her slim-ness/Beauty.

Now, in the context of this scene here are the facts: Daphne is the stereotypical woman who believes that being Size 8/Fat is a horrible thing. The film is not really saying anything here. It’s her own personal worst nightmare and that’s it. So you Socail Justice Warriors can calm down.

Anyway, while that’s going on, Fred is mourning the van some more, and Shaggy and Scooby win the contest. They get Sausage puppets as a Reward (just roll with it) and they are asked to it. But..

“Scoob and I are totally full”

…THE END IS NEIGH!

This statement is followed by a shot of fling pigs and a shot of Hell freezing over. Okay, that’s hilarious. ..Also, Hell is in a kids movie. Okay.

The Mayor is insulted because reasons, and we get our angry mob scene. In my experience, being full won’t stop you from at least attempting to eat food, you know. They bump into Fat Daphne and we get Dramatic rain.

“This town makes great torches. They stay lit in the rain!”

Shaggy would also be great at Cinema Sins. Discount Igor show up to save them and they get back to the castle. But they find out that Velma has gone insane. By that I mean that she’s gone all monster crazy, trying to bring a monster to life instead of debunking them. That weird chick on the cover? That’s Velma.

“This isn’t weird-ness. This is science!”

The Angry Mob pops up, as it has only grown upon finding out what happened to Velma. But she has no time for that as she starts up her machine. And it brings the iced monster to life.

However, Shaggy and Scooby aren’t afraid….Play that pig/hell clip again. But of course, it rampages and escapes anyway. Velma, still an angry bitch, asks Fred to go get it, but the van thing has really taken a toll on him.

So Shaggy and Scooby volunteer to head out instead. And they deny an offer for Scooby Snacks. …Now cut to a clip of cats and dogs living together.

Fred mourns the van some more, and it’s actually pretty emotional. Wow, never expected that to happen. Daphne mourns her look and while doing so, she finds a secret tunnel. Then we cut to Shaggy and Scobby chasing down the monster, with a montage set a song that is no Terror Time, but it still okay.

Daphne bumps into Baron and her screams lead Fred to her. This gets Fred’s mystery mojo back. Shaggy and Scooby randomly wake up in Velma’s lab, tied down. The monster is tied down next to them, and Velma explains that the monsters brain is defective, and they must add some extra brains to make it better. Shaggy and Scooby’s brains.

Yeah, I doubt the brains of a Dog and a stoner will help you. She says that between the 2 of them, they have almost have one whole brain, (haw) but that just makes my point stronger. Also, Velma’s really evil now I guess.

The monster tears off their special Ledorhosen they got from the mayor, and now they feel hungry and scared again. …Okay then.

Fred finds Velma and finds the Baron, having taken a level in badass. At least until Baron reminds him of the Van. Then he falls. And then Daphne tells him to do it for “Her” and he gets back up. This is pretty epic but…now you are ASKING for the crappy M rated sex fics about Fred/Van.

Fred fights Baron off, and we have a sweet moment with him and Daphne as he says he doesn’t care about her new appearance.

“You always look great to me”

Those people who bitched about that bit must look really silly now. That was a pretty sweet scene, to be honest. This movie is getting a lot better. Shaggy and Scooby escape the evil Velma out for their brains (This job is weird sometimes) and Daphne finds out that her new look is just the result of a weird fatsuit…thing.

She and Fred escape and run into Shaggy and Scooby. Also, Daphne has her old outfit back because magic. Velma catches up to them and she’s normal now. No explanation, and no one questions it. Okay.

“I’m Sorry I tried to take your brains, guys”

I love this “job” sometimes.

Velma says she was hypnotized into doing all of this. Sure, why not. Either way, she’s normal again and they must escape and stop the Baron. The Baron set up some gas in the castle, and the town is known for making torches.

You know what happens next.

Yep, a huge explosion as the gang runs away. It’s kind of awesome. The townspeople think they all died and they throw a party. ….Wow, what jerks. They get their due as various ghosts chase them out of town.

However, those ghosts are actually just the Mystery Gang in disguise. So wait…this time THEY are a monster in a mask? Whoa…

But there’s no time to dwell on that, as we find out the monster was just Discount Igor in a robot suit thing. …And then Di turns out to be some Government dude in a robot suit thing. ..I’m confused.

“Weeks ago, one of our experiment exoskeletons designed to increase the strength of the infantry men of the future was stolen from one our research labs. We traced it to this town and went undercover in hopes of finding it out.”

“Wait, you were the monster in the lab?”

….I have a lot of questions, but let’s just pretend this makes perfect sense and fits in the story. And no, he wasn’t the monster back in the lab, that was the mayor. Yeah, saw that coming, sort of.

It was all a conscript and hwo was behind it? The Lawyer. Pick up the phone, cuz I called it.

And he’s not even her Lawyer, he’s the partner of these attorneys from an old episode of the original show. Nice continuity, movie. Through a series of events too convoluted to go into here, he blew up the van, put Daphne in a weird suit, used weird things to give Shaggy and Scooby a false sense of courage, and he hypnotized Velma into going insane.

The townspeople were on it and all this stuff happened. Even for Scooby Doo, this is convolved. Pretty cool, but still confusing. A Good of the towns people that were in on this are actually old villains who teamed up for a revenge. A Scooby Doo villain team up…WHY DIDN’T THIS GET IT’S OWN MOVIE?! That would be amazing!

‘Everyone you’ve ever busted wants revenge! We were turning people away in droves. We fiended each other on the Scooby Doo Gang Revenge Social Networking page.”

A social network of Scooby Doo villains, planning revenge ….Again, WHY ISN’T THIS IT’S OWN MOVIE!?

Once they found out about the Castle, they came up with this whole plan. This is a damn good twist, but it’s way too convoluted for my tastes.

“And we would have gotten out revenge on you meddling kids, if it weren’t it for you meddling kids”

These villains must work for the Department of Redundancy Department. Anyway, they are carted away and everyone is happy. I’m sure you have questions the movie answers, but I don’t care. I’m just not sure how these Government dudes got involved.

Speaking of them, as a reward for helping them, they made a new Mystery Machine. Woo hoo. So they head off, back home. They have a cheesy moment, and they notice a new buttn in the van.

They press it and the van turns into a rocket and flies away. Roll credits.

What just happened? Whatever, whats in the credits?!

‘Wait, that’s it?! But there’s so many unanswered questions!”

…Oh shit, I’m in the movie now.

…Actually, he just points out pointless stuff, like Shaggy wearing something in one scene, and something else in another shot. Crap, the young version of the Cinema Sins narrator!

Then some agent dudes show up and take him away. For the crime of pointing out plot holes.. …Well, see ya, I’m gonna go on the lam.

Final Thoughts:

Overall, this was a pleasant surpise. I knew nothing going into this, and it seemed like it would be just another Generic Scooby Doo movie at the start. But it actually turned out to be pretty solid!

Not one of the best, but still decent. Let’s go over the flaws. It has a generic set up, the pacing sucks in the first half, and the final reveal is way too convoluted for it’s own good. But even with the last one, this movie was decent enough. Despite the set up, they used it for some pretty good visuals and atmosphere. On top of that, we have a pretty good story which some development for the characters.

As drawn out as it was, I liked Fred’s whole thing with the Van, and he got some awesome moments because of it. I like the bit with Daphne, as it gives a good lesson and again, more development. And Velma going insane was kind of awesome. I like her minor depth as well but man, Insane Velma is amazing. And also sort of hot.

Shaggy and Scooby don’t have a lot to do but they are fine, as always. I really enjoy the story and development in this one. Then there’s the twist. It’s a BRILLIANT idea, and it’s almost done well…but it’s so confusing. That nerd is right, there were so many unanswered questions and plot holes.

Not to mention that it should have been it’s own movie. Imagine it. All the classic Scooby Doo villains having a Social Network, and coming back to get revenge. That would be amazing. But nope, it’s the twist and it’s kind of rushed.

But hey, it’s kind of cool. So in the end, I recommend this one if you’re a fan. It has some nice development, a solid story, and epic Continuity porn. It has flaws, and I won’t give it the best grade, but it is a fun entry in this ever growing series.

Check it out, it’s not bad. …Wait, why is it called Frankencreepy if the monster is Franken CREEP and he’s not even the focus?

Grade: B

Next time…I’m not sure. We’ll have to wait and see.

See ya

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When Good Ghouls Go Bad

I was crushed by Pumpkins today! ...Not as catchy.

I was crushed by Pumpkins today! …Not as catchy.

Hello, Spongey here.

Back in July of 2012, I wanted to cover what I called the R.L. Stine film trilogy. I did “The Haunting Hour: Don’t Think About It”, and while I planned to do Mostly Ghostly at that time, it fell through. I did it the following year, but there one movie I still haven’t done.

It was a forgotten entry in the Stine Trilogy. I tried to review it but I couldn’t find it. Couldn’t find on youtube, a site I use, or even on torrents! All I found was, oddly enough, a video review of it. Which was pretty good, by the way.

Then out of nowhere, it popped up on Youtube. I checked it and it was the full movie. …So now I can finally complete the R.L. Stine Film trilogy! No, it’s not a quadrilogy as Mostly Ghostly 2 is a sequel.

Though it will be one next year…but that’s another story. So what can I say about this movie? …No seriously, what can I say?

There isn’t much info to go around. All I know is that Doc Brown’s head is n it somewhere. Like Haunting Hour, it’s not based on a book by Stine, but he did come up with the Story for the film. At least, that’s what the opening credits say.

I know the basic plot, but that’s really it. The director did Baby’s Day Out…that’s something. It came in 2001, as a TV Movie. However, it didn’t air often and it just kind of vanished. I’d ask a channel like The Hub to air but nope, that’s not gonna happen. Thank you Discovery.

It’s pretty obscure, so I have no idea what to expect going into this. None of the actors have done anything, except one, but we’ll get to that. So, let’s see if this movie is any good at all.

This, is When Good Ghouls go Bad

The movie opens with narration by Christoper Lloyd. A great way to start any movie.

“One of the things you learn is life is that things aren’t always what they appear to be”

Doc Brown introduces to Danny a kid that lives in the town of Walker falls. He recently moved, because it’s a Stine movie. We see him at school, as everything seems normal.

During Gym, Danny is hurt but his Dad can’t come get cuz he’s busy at work. Yep, that cliché. Danny gets up and Judge Doom tells us …nothing. He just rambles on. It’s funny so I can forgive it.

On the walk home from School, he bumps into Generic Bullies #565. They take him into the Graveyard and tell a story.Years ago, Curtis Danko (Brendan McCarthy) was an artistic boy, who was ostracized by “normal” people. When competition was held for all the eighth graders to design a sculpture of their personal hero, Curtis kept his project covered during the day, then came to school at night to work on it. . On Halloween night, he went to work on his sculpture, and someone saw ihm work on it, in the window. The next day, they found Curtis’s charred skeleton and a message in the ashes, saying that if the town ever celebrated another Halloween, he would come back and destroy them. Everyone in the town believed the legend and, since then, Halloween has never been celebrated.

That’s…dark. The whole ashes thing. Perfect for a story like this, if you ask me. By the way, the guy who saw this was the bully’s Dad. Dad went blind for 3 days after seeing that sight and that’s part of the reason people bought the legend. Now that’s creepy.

And now the bully is forcing Danny to look at the buried skeleton. Wow, what a dick. Danny escapes and runs home, where we meet Uncle Fred, played by Christoper Lloyd.

‘And narrator to you, the audience”

Best character.

We see that Uncle Fred is weird. He’s dressed as a Viking. Christoper Lloyd as a viking. This is the best movie ever made. He’s actually his Grandfather but he insists people called him Uncle. Because reasons.

We cut to the Bully’s Goon as meets up with Ryan, the bully. Ran dug up the thing containing the Skeleton and he plans to do things with it. Spooky. Back at home, Dad arrives,

“The germans are coming, the germans are coming!”

…Okay.

He’s actually referring to German Investors he needs to strike a deal with. Danny tries to tell Dad about the bully but he’s too busy being a cliché Dad.

He heads to the Town Hall to tell everyone about an Idea he has. We find out that Danny’s family is the town’s namesake, and they had a Chocolate Factory until Fred shut it down due to the Curtis Danko stuff, I guess.

Dad wants to bring the factory back, but he spent all his money doing so, so to make the money back, he brought in some German investors to help out. They are coming On October 31st. Why? Cuz It’s Halloween!

“He said Halloween!”

“Don’t say it again!”

Yep, Dad wants to bring Halloween back as well. He thinks the Curtis thing is just a legend, and thus wants to set up to the first ever Halloween Spooktacular. There actually exists ANOTHER review of this movie, saying the Investors stuff is pointless, as the Spooktackular thing is distant enough from it to stand on it’s own.
Which is fair. We could have had him wanting to bring Halloween back without that stuff, but I suppose we needed some world building with the family factory. No one is on board with it. Infact, they run away. Heh

Dad goes home and talks to Fred about all of this. Dad calls out Fred for not being there lot of the time, and turning his back on the town. But we just cut to Danny talking to Fred, so whatever. Oh, and that scene reveals that Fred built the kiln that killed Curtis.

…Not sure why people hate him though. Curtis kind of did it to himself with his creepy…stuff. Who build the thing isn’t really important.

After a nice scene with Danny and Fred, we cut to the next morning as a bunch of Halloween stuff has been set up. The most notable thing being a pile of pumpkins in the town Square. Like, a huge pile

Fred is amazed by this, so he didn’t set it up. So who did? Dun dun dun!

Some of the people actually want a pumpkin, since Curtis never said anything about pumpkins in general. Fred takes a pumpkin…and the huge pile falls,and kills him.

….

….

What.

…We just saw someone get killed on screen. By pumpkins. Holy shit. This is the best movie ever made. I can’t street this enough. He got killed on screen! We don’t really…see the details but it happens!

Even Haunting Hour hasn’t gone this far, unless you count Girl in the Painting or The Golem! Damn!

Okay I’m calm. And yes, it does make sense since Old Man + A ton of pumkins=SPLAT.

We cut to his funeral, which is as depressing as it sounds. Fred’s narration brings even more sad-ness to this scene. Even in death, he has to narrate everything.

Since Danny has lost his true father figure, he leashes at Dad for not really being there. The cliché is worth since this bit is…damn. It keeps being sad as some random girl gives Danny a speech about Death. We went from Viking Dr Clipboard…to this.

The girl takes Danny to Curtis Danko’s old house…for reasons. Actually this place is sort of a home for all the Halloween stuff people have been hiding. Dayna plans to give Halloween back to the people, but the bullies aren’t having it, as they pop up.

Remember that Skeleton he as? He plans to use the house to store that, but he’s not telling our heroes that just yet. Hey, I’m in sum up the movie mode again! Woo-hoo!

Sorry, this is a time where I don’t have much to say. They leave and we see that everyone is taking down the Halloween stuff. Danny arrives home to find…Uncle Fred.

Whaaaaaa….

‘You’re dead!”

“Apparently not

He’s a Zombie. …Zombie Christopher Lloyd. And I thought Vampire Doc Brown was amazing, holy shit!

He doesn’t know why he’s a Zombie but he’s here, so deal with it. Danny is confused, but happy nonetheless. Fred’s first act as a Zombie is to scare the pants off the bully kid who pops up for no reason.

“You’re dead!”

“You’re right, I was. And I was resting pretty darn comfy too”

Guess who is making the movie so far.

Fred loses his hand in the Bully Dad’s car as he drives away,

“You’re hand is riding down the street at 60 mile per hour”

And it when it this 80, it’s gonna see some serious shit.

..

THEY WALKED RIGHT INTO THAT ONE!

I love Fred’s attitude during this whole thing. He’s “Yeah. I’m Dead. That’s cool/’. He just walks around doing stuff, not carrying who sees. That’s awesome.

Bully Dad talks to his family about this, and he thinks Fred faked his death to scare them. This whole scene is awesome because the Bully Dad is clearly having fun here.

Danny visit Dayna again and tells her about Zombie Doc Brown. She thinks he’s lying but it doesn’t matter cuz her Mom pops up and scolds her. A bit after that, she calls up Danny’s Dad, and somehow this conversations has a part where Dad says Danny comes in a long line of kids who have had to deal with not having Dad around. I bet that will be impormant later.
Hell, it’s important now, as Dad briefly thanks about his own father. It’s actually quite emotional. Speaking of Fred, he heads to the Bully’s house to get his hand back. They are having this weird party thing, so Fred disguises himself as a Clown to get in.

We’ve seen Chris Lloyd as a Viking, a Zombie, and now a clown. This is the best movie ever made. He finds his hand in the trash but it’s a bit…crazy. Bully Dad pulls him away before he can catch it so we have the hand running around while this is going on.

Danny happens to be there, so Fred does weird clown stuff with him there. Danny figures out that the clown is Fred and Fred promises a 100 dollar bill to the kid who can find the “magic hand”. It goes as well as you’d expect.

We get an insane scene of the hand running around, which is kind of amazing. Then we get a romantic scene with Dayna’s Mom and Danny’s Dad. …They have a romance now. Deal with it?

Things calm down as the kids retrieve the hand. Later on, Danny visits the Graveyard and finds out that whoever dug Fred out, it was someone from…under the ground. Then Zombies pop up.

This movie just gets better with every passing minute. They run home and while this is going on, Curtis Danko’s ….body vanishes from his Crypt and the Bully Dad tells this cop dude to find it.

Back with Danny, he wonders what the hell is going on. Fred explains that he….wished himself back because firefly magic is in the ground…or something. I don’t know, it makes just as much sense in context.

…So anyway, Zombies storm the town hall, while Danny reveals Zombie Fred to Dad. His reaction is priceless. Then Zombies pop up and reveal they want the statue Curtis made. So they must return it to send them back into the grave.

They visit that place the Bully took over earlier, as they figured out he has the statue…somehow. It seems like taking the statue woke Curtis up, hence the zombies. The bully doesn’t buy it…which makes me wonder why he took it in the first place if, to him, it wouldn’t do anything.

Thankfully, he changes his tune when some Zombies pop up. Curtis hmself pops up (now an ugly Skeleton thing) pops up and sets up the statue. Before Curtis can do anything, Danny’s Dad admits everything that is going on is his fault. Then Dayna says it’s her fault. But now it’s Danny’s fault, which is plausible, I suppose.

But it doesn’t matter cuz the Bully Dad comes and beats the shit out of Curtis. …Okay, that’s awesome. It gets rather Graphic too, as he stomps on the Skeleton again and again.

“Ding dong, the zombie’s dead!”

Then Curtis pieces himself back together. Wah wah.

I should mention that the effects here, with Curtis are pretty good for this type of movie. It looks pretty decent.

So Curtis unveils the statue…and it’s of Fred. What a twist! Curtis shows him a picture of the two, revealing that Curtis looked up to look. The picture has Fred shaking his hand at some art thing which Curtis won.

“I built the Kiln. It’s my fault”

Curtis points at Mr Kankle, the bully Dad. Dun dun dun. As it turns out on the night Curtis died, Kankle, Frady, and his group pulled a prank, and pushed Curtis into the kiln and locked him in it. Suddenly, the janitor appeared and Kankle’s group ran off. While cleaning the class, the janitor accidentally turns on the kiln not realizing Curtis was in it.

So yeah, he kind of killed Curtis. …Wow, that’s…dark.

To hide his crime, he made up the curse. Why did he do that? Because the statue that would be in town square was of Fred, not his statue of HIS Dad. Fred was very genrous, donating all the time, but mostly to things Kankle saw as “Sissy” and not Manly things.

Speaking of his Dad, he pops up as a Zombie. Oh God, this is gonna be great. Kankle’s Dad pills him away to give him a whopping. Yeah, I was right. It’d worth noting that Kankle did all this because he looked up to his father, but he went all about it the wrong way.

So in a way, he has a reasonable motivation and isn’t just a dick for the sake of being a dick. Granted, he’s taken away here without much redemption, but …taking Halloween away fo 20 years is pretty bad. Sorry.

With that, Curtis finally leaves. Then Fred’s wife pops up as a Zombie cuz why not. But that’s not important because Fred has a moment with his son.

“I finally really know that I loved”

They have a tearful goodbye, as Fred says he is proud of his son.

“Thanks”

For his final wish, he dances with his wife which is pretty cheesy, but kind of sweet anyway. And Danny and Dayna kiss….cuz they had a romance. Remember that completely existent romance?!

Danny watches all this while Fred gives us more narration. It’s mostly some cheesy speech about cheesy stuff. It’s REALLY cheesey…but really sweet, and very effective. Awesome.

We cut to the next morning as the German Investors pop up. Oh yeah, they were in this movie. They love the idea of Halloween and want to Reopen the factory. Glad that was resolved.

We zoom in on the Fred Statue in the town Square, as everyone is finally celebrating Halloween again. Fred closes us out.

“Happy Halloween”

Roll credits.

Hey, a good ending for once! A bit rushed but it did wrap up things up well enough. Good on you, Stine! I have issues here, but I’ll address them in a second.

Final Thoughts:

This is the best of the Stine film trilogy. And it’s not because of Christoper Lloyd. It’s because of the awesome story. It actually doesn’t feel like a Stine product, because of how deep the story gets.

Yeah, he’s done deep stuff before, but nothing to do this level. T has an underling theme of Legacies, Fathers and sons, and the people we look up to and admire. The whole story is driven by the character’s admiration for their fathers in some way. They even manage to do that with the actual villain.

That’s really interesting, and a cut above this kind of movie. I’d compare to Haunting Hour, but eh, It is it’s own beast. This movie has everything I could want in a Halloween move.

It’s genuinely funny, thanks to it’s strange sense of humor that leads to funny moments that usually fit with the story. It has a good Halloween vibe with a really interesting story that kept my interest all the way through.

Yeah, some parts felt pointless, like the Workaholic cliché and the German stuff, but the factory did play an important factor in the end. As they don’t focus enough on that cliché for it to bug me.

It did feel more like Dad and Fred’s story, but he did get enough focus in the end. He isn’t too interesting but he works. Really, the best characters are Dad and Fred. They have a lot of development, and they have a great complex relatshioion.

The acting is decent, but come on, you all know Chris Lloyd is the scene stealer here. He’s clearly having a lot of fun here, but he shows his serious side too. That makes his pefromance even better, if you ask me. It doesn’t hurt that his character is pretty interesting.

Yeah, Dayna was a pointless character and the Bully Dad can be REALLY over the top at times, but I didn’t mind that too much. The reveal was well written and it added a lot of depth to the themes of the film.

It does get really cheesy near the end, but the heart is so big that it works. Overall, this movie is very good. It’s funny, has good atmosphere, and it has great themes with a lot of heart.

It has all the tings that made the other Stine movies good, but without the flaws. If you can fins it on Youtube before it’s taken down, watch it. Or you can track down a DVD copy somewhere. I really hope they re-air it someday, as it deserves a lot more attention. I personally think it should traditional Halloween viewing, right with Halloweentown and stuff like that.

It may not be a perfet movie, but it’s fun, complex, and heartfelt. A lot better than you would expect. And it has Zombie Doc Brown. That’s cool.

Grade: B+

Next time, we finally tackle an animated Scooby Doo Movie. Woo-hoo.

See ya.

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IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Offical Q&A!

Hello, Spongey here.

I’m gonna make this quick. I decided to not do another R.A.Q. Instead, I’m doing a REAL Q&A. Oh yeah. I’m making you guys ask me questions. Anyone from anywhere can asks questions. Facebook,Twitter, Deviant Art, WordPress, The moon, I don’t care.

I’m putting this here so EVERYONE knows about this. I don’t want get just like 2 questions. I want like 10000 questions!

There are a few rules, of course.

First off, Max is 4 questions per person, unless you cheat. “What do you think x?” Do you like X?”. Just wanna keep it fair.

And 2nd, I plan to do other Q&A’s on specific subjects, such P&F, R.L. Stine, Ponies, and all that jazz. That means I’d like to keep the questions general That doesn’t mean you can’t questions specific to that, just make sure it’s not a question that wouldn’t make sense to keep out of that Q&A. Meaning, questions such as..

“What did you think of that new PaF special?”

“What did you think of Son of slappy?”

“Why is Bulk biceps best pony?”

Don’t worry, I’ll allow the question if gets asked, just be careful. I’ll still take questions of all kinds, from dumb questions, to smart questions. Just don’t try to asks like 4 dumb questions.

Also, you must ask at least 2 questions, so don’t be afraid to ask really boring questions to stretch it out. You should only go for just 1 if you REALLY can’t think of other questions.

Also nothing…creepy. You know what kind of questions I’m referring to. Also, before you ask a question, make sure no one has asked that question. I really don’t want like 10 people asking the same question. Of course, you may too lazy to check every place I linked this, but at least try. If you end up asking a question someone else has asked, that’s fine. I’ll just credit all the people.

That’s it. If any other rules pop up after I get questions…well I’m screwed. Also, don’t go just for boring personal questions,. I only said the specific questions thing so I don’t get boned when I do specific subject Q&A’s. I’ll take questions about me, my life, and media. I think the last one will get more, since I’m boring.

So yeah, that’s all I got. Ask your questions. When does this close? Eh…I’m not sure. I think I’l close it on December 1st. Yeah, that’s good. That gives us PLENTY of time. 2 months, at least! That and my 200th review goes up December 4th, and this would be perfect. I’ll be putting the questions, along my answer in a open office document as I get them, so I may post it only a day after I close it.

So yeah, bye. Ask away!

See ya.

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Mostly Ghostly: Have You Meet My Ghoulfriend?

(Wonder how the production of this review went? Here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YapcxRtXU5k&list=UU0v7m98XD_ENjQOoij2BRAA ))

No, I haven't because you don't have one in this movie. Lying titles suck.

No, I haven’t because you don’t have one in this movie. Lying titles suck.

Mostly Ghostly 2 is Property of whoever own it. Stine, maybe?

Hello, Spongey here.

You may wonder why you didn’t have a review a few days ago. Well, decided to take a break. Usually, if I skip a review rotation, it’s cuz I screwed up somehow and I must move on.

But for one, I thought I needed a break from this reviewing this…for a few days. Then I did for a couple more days. As you saw, I still worked on stuff, I just didn’t turn on a movie and nitpick it to death like usual. I just needed room to breathe, you know?

Now I’m back…in time for October! I’m a bit late, but I don’t care. It’s time for Halloween! Once again. I’ll be doing a bunch of Halloween-ish reviews. And we’re starting off with an interesting one.

Last year, I reviewed R.L. Stine’s Mostly Ghostly, based on the first book in a 6 book series that never ended. I really enjoyed it, but you can read the review for more details. That film ended with a minor cliffhanger, but I never thought they would make a seuqel. Mostly because I did that review in 2013, and the film came out in 2008.

But they proved me wrong, because earlier this year, they told us a sequel was in the works. This…excited me, and confused me. I wanted a sequel, but I thought it wouldn’t happen for a big reason:

At least 2 of it’s stars are too old, ESPECIALLY Luke Benward.

How do you make a sequel with that fact staring you in the face? See, this is why you make a sequel right away, if it’s based on a book with a sequel.

But they went and did it anyway. It got no reaction out of people, but sadly, the Return to Halloweentown effect, as I like to call it, set in. With people hating cuz of cast changes, even though people care even less about this movie.

Also, it has a 4.7 on IMDB, but the first one has something around there, so I wouldn’t worry about it. Besides, Transformers 3 has a 6.3, so IMDB can never be trusted.

I’ve been rather interested in this ever since I saw the trailer, but I wondered how they would handle the cast changes. Yeah, spoilers, everyone is different now. Even the people who haven’t aged. The only one that stuck around was Madison Petis, even though she has aged significantly.

Though you couldn’t tell from this movie, where she looks a bit different than she does in those shows she’s doing now. Anyway, of course we have a director and writer change…sort of. The director of the first one, Rich Correl, is now the writer. Weird. AS a refresher, he’s a frequently director for Disney Sitcoms, as well as one of the 3 creators of Hannah Montana.

Also, he did episodes of The Nightmare Room. Now it all makes sense. For this one director, is the genius behind Garfield and Home Alone 5. …Weird chose, but so was Rich and that turned out okay.

I don’t have much else to say. I’ve been interested in this ever since it was announced. Will they jsusfity the long wait, or what? Let’s see.

Oh, and as a side note, I haven’t read the 2nd book, which this is based on. So I won’t be comparing, sorry.

This, is Mostly Ghostly: Have You Meet my Ghoulfriend?

After a 3 minute long title sequence, the movie opens with our hero..’s parents. Here is our first casting change. Instead of the Mom from Zack and Cody, and the Dad from Wizards, we have…no one, and the Dad from Good Luck Charlie.

They just changed from one dumb sitcom Dad to another. But at least his wife is more his speed here. They are carving pumpkins when the older brother comes in. Instead of Zeke, we have Dez. Okay, that’s actually a pretty good choice.

After some stuff, we cut to Max walking his dog. He is now played by Lanny from Pair of Kings. Yeah, google image these 2 actors and they look nothing alike. But that’s not the worst example of that, trust me. He looks…fine for the party on his own,.

They walk by a Cemetery, and he assures the dog that everything will be fine.

“I’m still wearing the magic ring”

I’m pulling out the pic, cuz after Vampire Academy, I’m pooped from that kind of thing.

mostly ghsotly 1

We cut to to inside the Cemetery where we meet my main Phears again. No, he is not played by Arwin but I bet he’ll still be awesome either way. Wait, didn’t he get banished by the ring?

Either way, he randomly gets pissed and brings a corpse back to life. More specifically, an old woman who was in the Moscow Circus. …Okay.

For now, he’s doing this to give us an exposition dump, telling us exactly how Nicky and Tara’s parents came to find him. Yeah, I skimmed my review of the first one before diving in, and it seems like they follow it fine. I say that to assure you this wasn’t stated in the first movie.

Nicky and Tara’s father was a Scientist guy and he found an Urn containing Phears’ ashes…somehow. Dad was a klutz and the urn got smashed, release Phears.

They discovered his plans …somehow, and they created a magic ring…somehow that would use a spell to fight off his ghosts and keep him trapped in the Cemetery. He caught wind of this and attacked their family. However, Nicky and Tara escaped (as ghosts) and the parents wouldn’t tell him where they hid the ring.

Then this just goes into recapping the first one. Max’s family moved into the Rolan house and Max found the ring, and now he uses it to protect the kids.

Okay, now we now more about what happened. And I assume Phears is not saying where the parents are so they can squeeze more movies out of this. Also, why don’t they just….defeat Phears for good instead of sending him here?

Oh yeah, so this movie can exist.

So where does Emma, the old lady tie into all this? Well, Phears says she will climb into Max’s body and turn him into a berserker ghoul. Then she will urin his life and take the ring. Why can’t you just take the ring and not do the other thing? This movie would be over much faster.

Also, why you did pick an old Circus lady? Are the pickings that slim? As a side note, Phears is still a lot of fun, just not as amazing as before.

mostly ghostly 2

Back with Max, he’s still walking as he bumps into our new love interest, Cammy, played by Bella Thorne. …Still better than Blended. Yes, I’m okay with that chick from the first one being gone as she wasn’t important to the other books, and it’s likely she just dumped him or whatever.

Cammy is a popular-ish Girl who is flat out normal and nice. Well, that’s unexpected. They talk and Max goes home. And finally, 11 minutes in, we are reintroduced to Nicky and Tara. Tara is still Maddsion Peter, but Nicky…well. Here is him , circa the first movie:

thats-a-wrap

And here is him in this movie:

mostly ghostly 3

DO THEY LOOK ANYTHING ALIKE!?

I mean, the other changes, I can role with. Except Max, they either look a bit like the orginal, or it doens’t matter. But here…just look!

Yeah, I know Luke is a bit too old but can’t you get someone who looks a LITTLE like him? Trust me, Luke Benward looks nothing like that guy from Shake It up.

And while Nicky has the same basic traits, he feels different because he acts more like…that guy from Shake It Up!

It doesn’t matter that much…but it’s still stupid.

“You don’t have time to make people think you’re normal. You have to help us find our parents”

Gee, I wonder what the conflict will be.

Max heads inside and sees his Grandma, played by Joan Rivers. Yes, this was her final role ….Let’s move on

She’s somewhat pointless in this scene, but she’s enjoyable nonetheless. They talk Max’s gym grade, and all of Dad’s dialogue sounds weird coming out the mouth of someone who I can’t imagine playing sports. At least in the first one, he TRIED to look the part.

“Try to meet a nice Ghoul, bring her home to to your mother”

Subtle foreshadowing is subtle.

They suggests Max get advice from Collin, and he reluctantly, he does so. And naturally, Collin will give him advice in exchange from magic pointers. He wants to do a trick to impress a girl.

He shows him a trick with the help of Nicky and Tara. Then he gets his Rope climbing advice.

“Yeah, don’t fall”

Fantastic.

Then they ignore that, as Max shows his friends some info he sound on their parents. 3 years ago, Dad was arrested after being found doing research at the old courthouse. This was 2 days before they vanished for good. So that was the last place they were at before they vanished. So thus, they must get there before Halloween, when Phears powers will be at their peak.

So yeah, we have a plot until the titular Ghoulfriend shows up. They sneak into the old Courthouse to find what they need. But while they are there, Max bumps into Cammy …She works there, but why is there this late at night?

She doesn’t really question why he snuck in, of course. Instead they make small talk. Yeah, who cares about the plot? Let’s focus on this. They drop this as they get a box full of info on The Rolands, and go home.

Speaking of dropping plot points, they move on to the whole Rope Climbing thing. Nicky and Tara will help him with it. Yay. After a pointless scene, we get the Gym scene! His ghost friends help him climb the rope and Tara makes him fall cuz he taking too much time, impressing Cammy. That bit was filled until the dropping thing.

After a pointless scene with Dez, we get a dinner scene. Earlier, Max heard a cat but Colin said he hears nothing. But now the parents hear it and this becomes a problem. They leave to check it out and Nicky and Tara pop up to further the plot.

They tell us the cat belongs to Phears. But when he goes upstairs with his parents, they find out the sound is some cat from next door. They blame Max because reasons. He even gets grounded for..having a cat. ???

Back with Phears, he tells Emma to go posses Max. She leaves the graveyard and we cut to the next morning. Also, Colin slept in Max’s room so the ghost went instead him instead. Whoops.

So Emma makes Dez do…weird but amusing things. Then he starts floating. Then Max does that chant from the first movie and she leaves his body.

…Well, that happened. Emma goes back to Phears and tells him what happened. He figures out what happened and chews her out. Then she goes to sleep, planning to invade Max later. That also happened.

The next day, we have a school scene where Cammy asks Max to help her with an assignment. Emma pops up and invades Max’s body. Like last time, it leads to true insanity. Including him use a fire esthingher to fly into the air.

…Uh, no.

After that, things calm down and Max is in big trouble. Nicky and Tara pop up and they figure out that a woman is inside Max. Don’t think too hard about that sentence. The Principal shows up and she’s amazingly harsh. Thanks to Nicky and Tara…doing stuff, he gets in more trouble and he is forced to run laps.

He chews them out for getting into trouble a lot, which is far since…yeah, they do cause more trouble than they are worth.

“Just..go away”

t’s sort of dramatic…but it’s justified …so yeah. As soon as they leave, Max talks to Cammy who doesn’t really care that he went crazy. But then the Gym Teacher says “Wake Up” which makes Emma take over again. Uh-Oh.

But this time she makes up…play soccer with insane skill. ???

Once Emma goes back to sleep, everyone tells Max how amazing he is. The Gym Teacher asks him to join the team so he can lead them to victory. Max doesn’t question it. That…was weird.

Cammy asks Max to meet her at the Courthouse tonight for the Grand Re-opening. It happen to be Halloween so…shit will go down. That night, Nicky and Tara figure out that the ghost in Max is Emma.

They try to lure Emma out…and it works. Also, she’s Young Again…somehow. And Nicky says when this is done, they will leave Max alone forever. But Max apologies and says they are his friends no matter what.

STORY ARC OVER.

Seriously, that’s it? Whatever, it works.

Emma is shocked to see that Max is good, since Phears told her he is keeping her from moving on. But no, that honor belongs to Phears. They talk, and bond. and stuff. This part is actually pretty sweet, I must say.

Emma reveals that Nicky and Tara are not real ghosts, because Phears made them like this. They are Ghosts, but they are not Dead.

“You’re parents, are still alive”

Dun dun dun!

However, only Phears know where Nicky and Tara’s parents are, but there may be a way for Emma to visit the Ghost Parents or whatever. There’s a spell in that book from the first one that hasn’t been mentioned until now, that can help. They must go to the Graveyard but Max to man to the Trick or rteat bowl.

So Colin pops up and tells Dad Max has a special soccer practice tonight he must go to. He and Max have a nice moment.

“Thank you. I owe you one”

D’aww.

With that, they had to the Graveard, but it turns out Max left his magic ring at home. That’s not good, since it means no protection from Phears when he pops up right now. It turns out Phears picked Emma, knowing this would happen and he would get all the ghosts at once.

Eh. not a bad plan. I can’t find an holes, and unlike Transformers 3, I’m SURE of it this time. Phears incapacitates Nicky and Tara and starts blasting everything. He even brings some more ghouls to life.

Damn,. Phears is pretty awesome here, even if he’s not as hammy as before. Emma hides in Max’s body and we get a chase scene with the Ghouls. Because he has a Beresker Ghost inside him, he freaking fights the sword wielding ghouls. Now that is amazing.

The fight leads him to the courthouse, where they think Max is putting on an act. However, Emma falls asleep and it seems like the Ghouls have him…until Colin pops up and ties them up with a thing.

…Wait, people can see Ghosts now?

…Either way, that was awesome. They get rid of them and Max goes home to get the ring. But there’s still the matter of Phears cat. He finds it under his bed. He catches it and he heads back to the Graveyard, as Nicky and Tara have been captured.

He uses that chant to free them but Phears isn’t having any of it. So Max uses the cat to get Phears to let them go. He lets them go in exchange for the cat…but Max uses the cat to lure Phears into the swirling vortex thing, made by the ring.

So our villain is defeated by him being a total…pussy.

BwPdTzJIUAERUPB

Sorry.

Also, our baddie got stopped on the 1 hour and 12 minute mark of a 1 hour, 25 minute movie. What the hell are we gonna fill that time with?

So Emma leaves and things are fine. So what will we fill the time wit? Soccer! Yeah, that pointless part is now…even more pointless. You could end right there!

Max used as the team’s secret weapon, and Nicky goes insdie Max to make him kick ass. But Nicky is knocked out by accident, and Max is forced to do this on his own. And despite showing litterly no skill on his own, he helps them win.

Seriously, what was the point of this? To make him happy? Yeah, befriending his brother, stopping an evil dude, getting a girlfriend, and helping his friends, wasn’t good enough. You could have done all of this without the soccer crap.

Cammy talks to Max and we get our romantic moment. They walk away and Nicky and Tara let him go. Glad that…really minor plot point was resolved. Yeah, Tara had an issue with Max doing girl stuff but unlike the first movie, it didn’t amount to anything. Maybe they don’t want to imply she likes Max since…yeah.

Max and Cammy head to the courthouse and have do romanc-y things. They kiss and Max is happy. He heads home and everyone is proud of him cuz of the soccer thing. But there’s no time for that, as Max has a new computer they can use to research stuff on Nicky and Tara’s parents.

Oh my god, will it just end already? I’m all for stretching out the ending so it’s not abrupt, but you could have woven a lot of this stuff into the climax and ending instead of dumping it all in for no reason!

With the help of Emma, they get…a message from their parents.

“We cannot tell you how relived we are that you’re okay. Emma tells us that you’re looking for us, and there’s no doubt we’ll all be together soon. Never lose hope….We love you more than anything”

If Emma can contact them to get this message, can’t she figure out where they are?

Whatever. Roll credits! …No? You’re just gonna have a weird street dance party for no reason?

Okay, now roll credits! Good. …Oh, you’re gonna fill the credits with bloopers? That’s fine cuz I can skip it. The end!

….Wait, who was the Ghoulfriend?

Final Thoughts:

Despite my endless bitching, it was fine. It was a bit as Good as it was going to be, given it’s limitations. They put effort into it, and judging by the bloopers, they had fun. It’s not as good as the first one, but it works fine.

It did feel a bit more basic. As in, the parts that had hard in the first one were nerfed here. The acting wasn’t quite as good, the humor wasn’t quite as funny, and the characters weren’t quite as interesting.

The returning main characters worked fine, but Max didn’t have the snarky edge he had before, so he’s kind of bland. Tara is still okay but she’s not quite as likable, and Nicky is less dick-ish but less interesting as a result.

Their new actors do a good job, but the materiel could have been better. Colin gets some of the best parts, and his character actually kind of grows. The parents are just there, but Bob Duncan is always welcome in my book. Phears is just as awesome as ever. He’s not as hammy but he’s actually a better villain, for the most part.

Cammy is just sort of there…but I like her more than Ali Lohan since she’s a bit better in the romance scenes. Emma is the best new character so she gets amusing parts, and even some sweet scenes.

But then there’s the plot. It’s a bit more basic, and the stakes feel lower this time. It’s fine but near the end, it gets muddled. The plot seemed to change a lot but if the climax as stronger and wrapped up things nicely, I could forgive it.

But nope, we need a 10 minute epilogue that really gives us nothing. The romance stuff is nice but they could have put it near the climax, not here. It just exists to wrap up plot lines that could have been wrapped up much better.

But despite all that, the movie is decent. The humor is mostly funny, the plot includes some sweet moments, and I did like visiting these characters again. As as a sequel, it’s fine. It does rehash elements but it makes up for it with some interesting parts.

But like in the books, they don’t seem closer to their goal. They know that the parents are alive…and that’s it. That’s all we learn. That’s more than we learned in the books, but still!

Overall, If you ignore some elements, it’s a good movie. Not as enjoyable as the first one, but I still liked it. If you make a 3rd one, please give us more plot, make the characters stronger, and don’t dump everything in the last 10 minutes.

So yeah, it was good.

Grade: B

Next time…something special

See ya.

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